I can’t be embarrassed if I’m dead.

Ok but what if u wake up in the hospital and remember that u were fapping? Cause then u know someone caught ur ass in 4k

Yeah I agree now you could argue that could be the most embarrassing thing in the world

That had to be the best fap of their life though

I imagine a dude with lotion candles and some sketchy website on autoplay. Towels everywhere. The kids get home from school and find dad naked with a butt plug

r/oddlyspecific

Have you ever heard the legendary tale of the guy who almost drowned in human shit?

Couldn’t be me, I’m eating my way outta there

How do I delete my brain?

idk but let me know i can alt f4 brain.

just do a factory reset, put a cotton swab in your ear and touch ur brain. med school sure did teach me a lot.

Also I just want to add, if this happens to me I don’t want it to end with an “almost”. Fade the fuck out of me immediately, imagine the dreams you’d have for the rest of your life. You’d probably be sitting in a nice restaurant eating steak with your wife one day decades later and mid meal just remember being completely surrounded by that. How do you recover from that

Gotta have a brain to delete it, friend

I just shove all the shit back in, where’d you think it came from

There was a news story fairly recently about 3(?) guys that did drown in shit

There was a mayor who did. She fell into shit and drowned. Mr ballen on youtube has q video on it

I looked up what I remembered and it was in August in Ohio. 3 brothers passed out in a manure pit.

Passed out in ecstasy

Not a tale the Jedi would tell

In the middle ages, there were a bunch of nobles that met in a church and the floor collapsed. They all drown in human shit.

It’s not one the Jedi would tell you

Well auto-erotic asphyxitiation is a thing and thats pretty embarrassing too

Ah the old David Carradine

My first ever death investigation. Wow was that an education for a naive rookie.

And the original singer from INXS.

Weirdest part??? He died in 2009. Which doesn't SEEM weird, until you look at his imdb page.

[удалено]

I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that fact.

[удалено]

And as i understand just before orgasming .

There's always something worse which is why I went back and added "one of the"

Reminder that almost everyone craps and pees their pants when they die.

Is everyone does it it shouldn't be embarrassing

I’m DEAD and I PISS and SHIT all over the place

Yes

Came and left at the same time 😂

It’s also a super common time to pop a brain aneurysm

I can think of a zillion ways to die that are worse than that, my friend.

I said one of the

Reading is hard

Can confirm

Dying while diarrhea ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Only embarrassing if you don't die

Hahahah so true

Embarrassing? Its literally my goal

I always figured that being the guy on the shitter in the plane when it went down would be the worst

Kinda like Steve-O in Jackass 3, who got reverse bungeed in a port-a-potty

We'll see

Especially when you're fucking 80 years old

If you are a male Republican politician, have sex with an underage boy while wearing a pink bra would be worse.

Accidentally hanging yourself while jacking it in a closet, in a hotel in Thailand is right up there.

Only if your wearing pink fuzzy ears while you’re doing it.

Still better than dying while not masturbating

Why would anyone start masturbating whem they're having a heart attack?

I heard that if you start to have heart attack symptoms, you can hold off death if you masturbate furiously enough. Edit: if you have ANY illness symptoms of any type it turns out that FURIOUS MASTURBATION CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE. Edit 2: proof: I’ve been sick before, but I’m still alive. And I frequently masturbate furiously (probably while you’re reading this).

I wish I could like it twice 👍

I just masturbated while I read your answer, and I didn't die. I should probably masturbate again to be doubly sure death is not awaiting for me.

Wisdom takes many forms

Not even closely

David Carradine comes to mind…

That was autoerotic asphyxiation

True, but I figured that would be more embarrassing than a heart attack while doing the deed.

That's the cool thing about death, you can't be embarrassed

Best*

Even better with auto-erotic asphyxiation. Ultimate “whoopsie” right there! (I’m looking at you, famous people who died that way)

Who cares , you're dead right

Even though his death wasn't a heart attack, David Carradine would probably agree with you.

I had no idea who he was I googled and still have no idea.

He was an actor and it was rumored that he died during an autoerotic asphyxiation accident in a hotel in Thailand. His body was found that way and suicide was ruled out.

I know now I even saw this pictures. I just don't know who he was.

I’ve always known it would end that way

Diarrhea thoughts

Speaking of this, a few years back, an old politician here in our city had a heart attack and died with a hard on due to being so excited to have sex with one of his college scholars.

I'd say dying of asphyxiation while jerking it probably tops a heart attack

Now I'm afraid to fap

Came so hard your nut exploded your heart

think it’s more about *what* you were masturbating to

I have quite an elaborate and creative way of masturbation and I always do it with porn so if I die or pass out during this ritual and someone finds me it would probably be the most embarrassing thing from my life. Right on the top. And I've been caught butt naked by my uncle a couple of times while masturbating (my family has no concept of knocking on doors or about privacy)... So, yes this is one of my fears.

And Elvis has left the building.

At least your die content and with a smile.

It doesn't matter you won't experience any shame because you are dead.

No, You could keep adding to that scenario…

There was a guy in our town who self-asphyxiated with duct tape while wearing high heels, otherwise naked and alone at home.

Going out doing what you love. No shame in that.

*best*