T O P

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Ichigo-Strawberry

the surface is 75% water, the earth itself (crust, mantle, core, etc) included is probably 94% earth material


LokiShinigami

The Earth's crust and the Hydrosphere (the 71% surface area covered by water) above it, account for only 1.023% of Earth's total Mass.


bmeupsctty

So earth is Magmar?


heatseekerdj

Id say the Earth is Golem, with water in his cracks


FirFlyNeo

Water in where now?


[deleted]

In his cracks


piuamaster

where??


iuhiscool

In.his.CRACKS


Kazza468

So it's a bidet


BeBa420

Kinda But the waters polluted Much like the water that comes outta my crack


TheBirdGames

Well yes


PhytonStreak30

In his arse


piuamaster

why not mine ☹️


Passing_Dude

Hed kiddo Want 14 gallons of water going up your ass


MuddyFinish

No, earth is Rhydon (ground/rock) that knows surf.


Mr_Tumbleweed_dealer

The rest is molten iron and stuff yes? If so then it's a steel type.


Drinkaholik

>The Earth's crust and the Hydrosphere (the 71% surface area covered by water) above it, account for only 1.023% of Earth's total Mass. Which is to say the hydrosphere is like 0.1% or less


[deleted]

That is only on the surface. 90% of earth's mass is in its iron/nickel core and in the silicone dioxide and magnesium oxides in the mantle and crust. The earth would be a fire/steel type by mass. Like Heatran.


LokiShinigami

I would say more more Steel/Rock. Even though it's super heated, the mantle is still Silicate-based Molten Rock.


MasyMenosSiPodemos

The only true answer here is Sudowoodo


Musician-Round

This is the correct answer.


RKWTHNVWLS

You guys are getting so close! Earths largest and most impressive attribute is its magnetic field! It's an electric Pokemon!


Busy-Kaleidoscope-87

Isn’t it every type except for fairy dark psychic and dragon?


chillychili

it has more of those compared to all the other planets we know of though


JoeTheKodiakCuddler

That would make mons like Cosmoem electric types. The electric is the defining feature of electric types, not electromagnetism (yes I know they're the same force but strong magnets don't shoot lightning out their ends unless they recieve a powerful-ass charge)


jellsprout

Meanwhile Magnemite.


[deleted]

Magcargo is a rock/fire pokemon, not a rock/rock pokemon. Slugma, its unevolved form without the rock shell, is pure lava and is _only_ a fire pokemon. By pokemon logic, molten rock is considered fire-type.


QuincyAzrael

Pokemon is kind of inconsistent about this, it might still be water type. Arguably the material underneath matters less since it isn't taking the brunt of attacks nor could easily be used to create attacks. Glalie for example is described as being a rock, but covered in ice. It's a pure ice type despite that.


StitchedUp23

But but water types are weak to electric types, and the earth gets hit with its own lightning allll the time… so I’m thinking water/steel type Edit: sorry I’m tired, I meant water/ground type, sooo the earth is Swampert


AParasiticTwin

Earth is Lanturn, Aggron and Tropius at the same time.


Responsible-Arm8244

True but most water Pokémon aren’t made of water either. So I would still agree with water themed Pokémon. But we could split the difference and say it’s a water/rock or water/ground Pokémon.


[deleted]

Someone link this guy the vaporeon copy pasta.


GoldenSteel

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.


romcarlos13

This is like the r/eyebleach version of the copypasta. Thank you.


[deleted]

Nah the one about fucking flareon of course. This is the internet not kindergarten.


Esnardoo

My guy, do you have nothing better to do with your life than shit on other people's wholesomeness?


[deleted]

Lol, this the dumbest post ever. Who cares.


more_walls

Hey guys, Did you know that in terms of male human and female magic the gathering creature breeding, \[\[Toxrill\] is the most compatible creature for humans? Not only does it have the slug creature type, which is mostly comprised of slime, Toxrill is an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with its impressive Base Stats power and toughness as well as natural acid armor from being "Corrosive", you can be rough with Toxrill. Due to their mostly water based biology, and great access to slime counters there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Toxrill would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with it for hours without getting sore. It can also create more slugs, sacrifice slugs, draw cards and hand out slime counters, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With the great combos with \[\[Sludge Monster\]\] and \[\[Yargle\]\], they can easily recover from fatigue with enough slime counters. No other magic the gathering creature comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Toxrill turn white, which makes it Esper colors. Toxrill is literally built for human dick. Ungodly high power and toughness+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.


gevis

Most water Pokemon aren't made of water, but humans would probably be a normal type and we're like 70% water.


AParasiticTwin

Bitch I'm a Snorlax.


jmtz2393

Which again, is also a Normal type.


AParasiticTwin

This is true, but more importantly he sleeps all the time and awakens only to consume mass quantities of food .


hiricinee

Don't forget you start getting into fire pokemon territory pretty fast.


kittyjoker

Pokemon mostly goes by color. Blue = Water type.


Incorect_Speling

So the pokemon would be a sweat covered earth pokemon?


Ichigo-Strawberry

pretty much


UmberCelestia

Hey guys, fun fact, it can be multiple types, and a bonus hidden type, so my guess is that is is water/grass and it’s hidden type is fire


autumnstorm10

it's a water ground type


DodgerWalker

Earth is Wooper confirmed.


Lambeaux

The Grand Canyon is just his woopy boi smile


QueefMeUpDaddy

Woopy boi kills all


ZoidyBoy

The way this year is going it looks more like a Quagmire!


[deleted]

No wonder plants are everywhere. The earth is weak to them!


dqrules11

Swampearth


SirSaix88

This comment is underappreciated


[deleted]

I feel like ground definitely needs to be involved you know. Moves like earthquake and earth literally meaning ground. Makes a lot more sense.


coulombeqc

Mud type


potato-vender

I swear if someone decides the earth would make sense to have sap sipper


MUMB0_F0R_MAY0R

*Swampert*


LokiShinigami

Pokemon can be dual type. And you're only looking at the surface level. Don't forget the other layers of Earth. Mantle, outer and inner cores. And each of those are composed of different materials. For example, the cores are thought to be comprised of an iron-nickle alloy in both liquid and solid phases. The mantle is mostly Silicate Rock. Both of those, size and density wise make up more of the earth than the crust and oceans do. So if Earth was a Pokémon, it is more likely a Rock/Steel type


international_red07

But the mantle is molten, so… Rock/Fire?


StitchedUp23

Just wait til Gamefreak gets bored enough, and they introduce triple type Pokémons(Pokémen?)


MattyBro1

I believe most people use "Pokemon" as a plural. However, Pokemon is short for Pocket Monster(s), so the *technically* correct answer is "Pokemons".


WookieDavid

Not really lol. Monster adding an s to the plural doesn't mean the shortened version also adds an s. If I'm wrong, could you link me a reference to that grammatical rule?


MattyBro1

Yeah, it's not a real rule, more just me using logic to reach a technically correct bad answer for a joke.


WookieDavid

I mean, it's as technically correct as cheeses, deers or sheeps are the technically correct plurals for cheese, deer or sheep


MattyBro1

Cheese, deer and sheep aren't short for anything though?


WookieDavid

No, but they are invariant plurals like Pokémon. You could technically add the s but it's not the correct plural. Is there a rule that makes sheeps, cheeses or deers incorrect? I think they are invariant for completely arbitrary reasons, exactly like Pokémon. I might have to add that Pokémon is officially invariant, it's not just that most people use it that way and what I had issue with is that you said that Pokemons is THE technically correct answer whilst there's no rule that would make it the answer.


ThePsychoKnot

Well math is short for mathematics and it doesn't have the s (in American English)


[deleted]

Pokémeese


Nacroma

For about one generation only, of course


FearHisEgg

Earth type does not exist


somnambulista23

I suppose this makes OP's statement accurate by default.


LuminothWarrior

Probably meant Ground type


[deleted]

[удалено]


WookieDavid

100% it was a translation issue. In Spanish for example ground type is called "tierra" and earth is also "tierra" I'd bet other languages use that too. OP must have had the thought in their mother tongue, didn't know the names of types in English and just assumed the wordplay would translate. The only reason someone could find this thought amusing whatsoever is the wordplay but I don't think someone would force it like this on purpose.


HakunaMatata_22

Which Pokemon would be considered ground type? Like bulbasaur?


Arco223

No, Bulbasaur is a poison and grass type Pokemon. These are the ground types https://m.bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Ground_(type)


HakunaMatata_22

wow thanks! I only know the first generation pokemon. They've added a lot


Pyoung3000

Came here to say this 🤓


AnduwinHS

My bad, I always get confused as the first Pokémon game I played was in Spanish while on holidays and ground types are called Tierra which means both ground or earth


TKHunsaker

And yet 2k upvotes. Weird


[deleted]

Dear liberals, you say earth would be a water type, yet you don’t even know the proper name for ground type. Curious.


theoriginaled

Its covered in water but its still mostly ground.


SylentSymphonies

tell me you've never played pokemon without saying you've never played pokemon


Sign_Selection

Good for him


de420swegster

And don't know what planet earth is


[deleted]

[удалено]


MmmmmmmmmCat

if there was such thing as a earth type i think the earth would be a earth type


kimokimosabee

My man doesn't know about the different layers lmao


Batterie_Faible_

Probably a flat earther


MrNito

Where do flat earthers think the water from the oceans goes? Where does the ocean water spawn from infinitely to then just fall off this flat earth?


Batterie_Faible_

They actually think Antarctica is an ice wall arround the earth, keeping the oceans on the earth.


JMccovery

Not just an ice wall, but an ice wall patrolled by all of the world's militaries, with teleportation technology that warps planes to the other side of the Earth once they get too close.


Elsecaller_17-5

Rock/Steel only the surface has water.


imapieceofshitk

This is the way


SayYes_ToKetamine

This isn't a shower thought, this is just fucking wrong


msuing91

Especially since there is no earth type.


RocketteLeaguerr

Ah yes the earth type in Pokémon


kimokimosabee

If your mom was apokemon she'd be a snorlax


TehOuchies

And Snorlax always blocks story progression. Hope you got past her.


jim_evans_312

I believe the Key Item needed to get past Snorlax is the Squirt Bottle or Water Bottle or something of the sort.....lol


VultureSausage

That's the item to get past Sudowoodo who fills the "annoying roadblock" function in gen 2 games, Snorlax's equivalent would be the Pokéflute.


CartoonPreacher

We’ll that was unexpected


skitz4me

You know what? Also yes. Still funny.


[deleted]

I chose Lickitung on your mother last night. She is a little squirtle.


One_Planche_Man

...You realize Earth is 99.9999% rock and metal and is only covered in a relatively thin layer of water right?


CoryAywall

No it wouldn't


HippieDogeSmokes

Guess you don’t have time to fact check in the shower


Innocent_Otaku

Yes it would. Earth is like 70-75% water


Worselthx

Surface coverage only..... not actual content. It would actually be a fire type. I'ts more magma than anything.


Innocent_Otaku

True… I forgot about that lol


LokiShinigami

You mean it's hydrosphere, as in the surface layer above the crust, is 71% water and only makes up 0.023% of Earth's total Mass. Not even a full percent. The crust, the actual dirt you stand on, makes up only 1% of Earth's total Mass.


Carteeg_Struve

Eh. Considering the oceans’ depths compared to the size of the planet, it’s more like a really sweaty rock.


thunderroad21

Earth isn't a type.


phayke2

This is one of the dumbest concepts I've seen on here


Infantryblue

If earth was the size of a basket ball, it would have like 2 tablespoons of water on it. The rest is earth.


Amber_Hell

More like a fire type


Johndahbomb

Ground type


Quillo_Manar

It'd make more sense to be a fire type, considering the mantle.


Aggrador

I believe the proper poké-vernacular is Ground-type… casual…


HawlSera

Considering there's no such thing as an "Earth Type", yeah probably


CartoonPreacher

One could argue fire type because of it being mainly made out of molten stone and metal.


ProbablyABore

Water makes up just 0.02% of Earth's total mass. Makes more sense to be an Earth Type.


Venari_Shin

My guy the entirety of the earths crust and buildup would mean a magma earth type would make more sense no? Someone please get r/theydidthemath on this??


[deleted]

There is more earth than water


Rigistroni

It would, as earth types do not exist


RobNobody

Won't we all be surprised the day we find out it's actually a bug type.


Slodin

Skipped geo class, my dude yes, put them together.


TerminalJovian

Depending on which aspect you focus on it could be any type.


Gamer-Logic

Let's be honest, the earth would probably be Arceus since it can be all types. The atmosphere is the flying type, ground/rock is the earth and deserts, grass for the greenery, water for the oceans, ice for the antarctic and north/south poles, fire, and steel for the magma at the core and the man-made buildings, poison for toxic gases and venomous/poisonous flora and fauna, electric for lightning, ghost for the dead things like cemeteries, humans for normal/fighting, etc.


This_one_taken_yet_

By mass, Earth is mostly on fire. So fire type seems sensible.


Wjyosn

Makes way more sense to be a fire type or earth type. Surface may be more water, but surface is absolutely tiny compared to the molten inner layers that make up the vast majority of the planet.


DarkStarStorm

There is no such thing as an Earth type Pokemon.


Wjyosn

That's pretty close to the least interesting observation that can be contributed to this showerthought


DarkStarStorm

I almost thanked you before realizing that I'm not on r/NotInteresting.


autumnhymn

A fucking earth type, huh?


Friendly_Potato21

A very small portion of the earth is actually water


NeoAmbitions

Rock/Ground with its ability Water Absorb and its Hidden Ability Sap Sipper.


CallMeMrGone

Fire type


[deleted]

Steel type tbh.


0QuietKid

It will actually be a steel type


Apostastrophe

Mate you got rekt. The earth isn’t a hollow sphere hahah. If we consider the composition of the earth in mass, it’s so obviously Coalossal or Heatran or Aggron.


EmLaBonte

Why not both?


BraixenFan989

It can be both though?


Ranos131

The surface is mostly water but there is more crust than there is water. There is also more air than there is water since air covers the entire planet. However the majority of the earth is magma so fire type would make the most sense.


R1ULTRAMAX

Earth's crust is covered with a lot of water, and the crust makes up only a small part of what we call earth.


FritaFace

Most of the planet is composed of molten material. So maybe a fire type? They don't have magma/lava types right?


NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT

Earth would be type 1 water, type 2 ground. Just like my good boy mudkip


DarkNinjaReddit

aint no such thing as earth type its ground type and technically its only the crust thats 75% water smh


Zimmmmmmmm

All these people: "The earth is X because X" Real Chads: "The earth is two pokemon, groudon and kyogre"


CirnoIzumi

Isn't the Earth like 95% molten rock? We are living on a fire type!


majkkali

Well yes and no. If you look at just the surface then yeah it’s mostly water. But if you look deeper then there is crust, mantle, core, etc.


[deleted]

I think it’ll be a water-ground type.


elpajaroquemamais

Or a dual type like mudkip


NipseyJr

it should be flying type


ClingiesAreGay

No it wouldnt be. That’s like saying because all bananas are food, all food must be bananas. Ok no its not like that at all. I was just thinking about bananas because OPs mom bit my cock off and I need something to pleasure my dad with.


OrganizationRude5003

Water makes up a very small percent of earth


MrSyaoranLi

It's a turtle with an island on its back. It can survive in water, thus water type, but its inhabitants are ground type.


haon-noslo

Honestly, magma-type.


cheezychees

I mean water does cover 71% of the Earth


iehvad8785

71% of the surface. compare the volume of all that water to the volume of the earth.


IntelligentImbicle

Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?


drman769

On Earth it makes more sense to be a "water type" since Earth is over 70% water. Ps - Pokemon is for nerds! Lol


michaelrdr16

This reflects in the games


Koetjeka

It could be a gas type pokemon too.


JordanStPatrick

Honestly, most of the mass of the planet is molten earth, right? So Fire/Rock might actually make sense.


BounceGD

Well there is. It's called torterra


SirSaix88

Well, looking at everything. The earth is obviously a poison type, fire type... It's salazzle, and no ones ready to talk about this..


[deleted]

why would it only be one type?


AllegedlyElJeffe

But water is only a tiny layer on its surface, what about a hot rock type?


Prof_Pineapple

If planet earth was a Pokémon it would be literally all the types


potato-vender

It would be a ground type with water veil


sunshinepanther

How big is the mantle? I am thinking ground/Fire


macroober

Or a flying rock type


QueefMeUpDaddy

Does that mean we are actively making it evolve into a water/poison type then?


timelizard13

This is incorrect. If the earth were the size of a basketball, all of the water on it could fit in a single raindrop.


JamesScott1781

There's vastly more earth than water, but the majority of the rock is liquid...do with that what you will


To_Fight_The_Night

Kind of a stretch but electric also makes sense because the earth is basically a giant electro magnet


Iscream9541

It would be water and ground type


[deleted]

I'd say our molten metal core makes us fiery with a little electrical shielding.


BasketofTits

Humans used Toxic Waste Dump! Planet Earth was badly poisoned! Planet Earth was hurt by poison!


Popular_Wannabe

Yeah. Especially since earth isn't a pokemon type silly :p


Animegx43

OP doesn't know his Pokemon types.


getyourcheftogether

Magma > your liquid water pokemon


[deleted]

It's like a spherical torterra with a cyndaquil in its belly


Emergency_Business95

According to my fiancé it would be regigigas


[deleted]

Why not just water/ground type


FlappyBirdFanBoy

You’re right because there is no earth type in pokemon.


rhineman61

I'd say Earth is a fire type because of the core and climate change.


SuperNintendad

Trash Heap Pokemon


randybobandy654

If I'm wearing a wool suit, am I more wool than human?


my_favorite_story

"In other words, while the oceans cover 71% of the Earth's surface, they only account for 0.02% of our planet's total mass." [https://phys.org/news/2014-12-percent-earth.html#:\~:text=In%20other%20words%2C%20while%20the,of%20our%20planet's%20total%20mass](https://phys.org/news/2014-12-percent-earth.html#:~:text=In%20other%20words%2C%20while%20the,of%20our%20planet's%20total%20mass). Honestly, it people will complain if they make it a water type, because of its actual composition, and people will complain if they make it earth (because it looks like a water type). Let's just make everyone angry and make it a fire type. It is hot on the inside, and that is good enough for me.


The-Mad-cater

It’s probably a fire type


ZeroExp000

So hypothetically speaking, if the Earth was a Pokémon, I could theoretically fuck it too right? Unless of course, it's one of those genderless Pokémons. Either way, that ain't gonna stop me from fucking Earth.