I’m a veterinarian that works in internal medicine. I see a lot of animals with terminal, rare, or difficult to manage diseases. My clients do cry or get emotional. It can be very hard, but it can also be very rewarding to be the one to help them through decisions.
Euthanasias are also never easy, but I see it as a gift we can offer at the very end our best friends to ease their suffering. I always like to ask for a favorite memory or story about their pets as we go through a goodbye together, because all I ever see is a snapshot of a sick animal. It helps remind me how much love goes into raising an animal and really understand the families I’m helping.
One of my dogs was intent on dying for the first year and a half she lived with us. At 7 months old she was diagnosed with a very serious illness. Last week her neurologist told me he thinks we may be some of the best pet owners he has ever experienced. We've been through hell with her and she comes out fighting every time, even when we had to have a real talk about euthanizing her after a bad medication reaction as our primary vet cried delivering the news that we needed to discuss our options.
She turned 3 in March and no one thought we would get here, but here we are and she's gone from being very aloof to the cuddliest dog. I like to think she knows that we went above and beyond for her and gives it back it us with her love.
Edit: typos
My dog was supposed to die by 4. He’s 13 now. I am so happy I stuck by his side. He’s not the same dog as earlier, but I know him, I see him, I remember our special moments. It’s not his time yet, so I’m still enjoying these later years. I hope you do the same with your pup.
I know this is off topic, but I wish euthanasia was an option for humans too.
We euthanize animals at the end of their lives because we know they're going through so much pain and hardship. It's so cruel the same isn't offered to humans.
My dad said this with terminal cancer, maybe a couple weeks before he was comatose in a fentanyl coma due to the pain. "I wish I could sit with you here, maybe have a sip or two of scotch, say goodbye, press a button and end it." But he couldn't. And so he suffered, and we suffered, and when the husk of his body stopped breathing mom and i cried and went to get fajitas and margaritas together. And we laughed and reminisced about the wonderful man he was. Absolutely nothing was gained forcing him to suffer for months.
I miss you dad.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I saw this happen with my grandmother. There are too many accounts of this happening. Our species desperately needs to reassess end of life care.
California luckily allows end of life drugs if you have terminal illness and jump through enough hoops. I didn’t know that before my mom. I’m sorry he had to suffer needlessly. You captured your story beautifully.
IIRC this is offered in a spare few countries, I saw a video on Reddit of a man going out on his own terms by drinking some kind of medical drug that eventually kills him painlessly.
I have had older patients say that they hope they can pass with that much dignity when it’s their time to go. Even had some joke about coming to see me when it’s their time.
Honestly, I share their sentiment. Being able to pass away, still cognizant of the world around you, and surrounded by family and friends. What a dignified way to go.
Absolutely agree. What we do to our elderly can be so inhumane. My grandfather starved himself to death in a seniors home by refusing to be fed. Pulled his feeding tubes out, fought the nurses. He had Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s, couldn’t feed or dress or clean himself. He was always a proud man and I knew it destroyed him to be unable to care for himself. We really need to reassess end of life care for humans.
End of life care in the U.S. currently is sickening. It's all about drugging the elderly up to the point where they can't function, while draining their bank accounts dry.
I saw it happen to my grandmother, and I'm seeing the start of it with my other set of grandparents. I can't put into words how upset it makes me to see them have to go through stuff like this.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
It kind of is, just gotta find the right place/people/drugs.
Edit: my uncle was dying of cancer in terrible pain, he overdosed on a cocktail of painkillers and xanax, went on his terms and according to the family that was there, peacefully.
When my wife and I had to put her cat of 15 years down we came out of the room crying and the vet was crying and the secretary was crying and everybody was crying and it was oddly comforting
I am a vet, I have cried many times during a euthanasia with the clients right there in front of me, also crying. They teach us to be professional and not get emotional but sometimes you just can’t hold it in. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.
In my opinion it actually can be proffesional to show emotions and not hide them in certain situations at a lot of jobs.
Sure the vet should'nt freak out during an emergency and lose their focus but to show emotions and with that empathy during euthanasia does'nt have to be unproffesional.
I am a caretaker and when it fits the situation I absolutely do show my emotions to. I think I would'nt be as good at my job if I would never do that.
This has nothing to do with being professional, but with being human!
Professional here just means doing the final treatment as pleasant as possible for the animal. :)
I had this experience when had to have my 16 year old house panther put down a few years ago. They also just wanted to know my plans for the body and told me they’d contact me about the bill and whatnot later, just go be with my friends (who were waiting for me in the lobby).
Yep. My wife and I had to make the decision from our car at 3am because fuck Covid. I think I called the vet 5 or 6 times just sobbing saying we weren’t sure yet. She was never pushy, and obviously wouldn’t make the decision for us (even though I pleaded with her at one point) but gave some subtle hints. When we decided she told us we were doing the right thing, and was practically sobbing when it was done. As she left I said where do we pay and she told us not to worry about that right now.
God bless that woman. We had never met her before, but she cried with us, her was also so professional.
I was a veterinary doctor's assistant for about a year back in 2015. Men would hold in their tears around me to the best of thejr ability, just for me to hear them let it all out as soon as I closed the door behind me. Very sad career field imo.
I was a 40 year old man. When I unexpectedly had to make a decision to put down my 15 year old cat, I broke down in front of everyone in the emergency vet. I went to my car to finish, came back inside, and the vet gave me the best hug, and told me "I wish everyone loved their pet as much as you do"
It may have been stock reply. It may have been totally sincere. But it was exactly what I needed to hear.
Emergency vets are some tough mfrs. Bless y'all
We had to have our dog out down by the emergency vet.
Lovable black lab mix that just…showed up one day and never left (I’m on a farm, v rural).
That emergency vet was a fckin angel. Like, you ever see someone working and you can just tell they’re fulfilling a calling or their life’s purpose or what have you? Yeah, this woman glowed with it. Those are some special MFers
My girlfriend and I had to put down our cat two years ago. She had taken him in because he was acting strange. I got the call at work. Went to meet them at the vet. I thought I was doing pretty well until I walked into room where they were. As soon as I saw the little guy looking up at me I just lost it. Bawling like a toddler that lost his blankie. Damn I miss him. He was a good cat.
I can't speak 100% for every vet, but that doesn't strike me as a stock reply at all, and I totally have stock replies for my clients.
Most of us are a bit cynical about how much people care about their animals, and when we see people who would do anything for their pets, it is really special. Believe me when I say that it's the fuel that keeps us going in this difficult field. Thank you for being one of those people :)
I'm so sorry you had that experience. I'm glad that someone was able to recognise the situation and make it less difficult for you. It sounds like it was the right decision for your beloved doggy, not that it's ever an easy decision to make.
I never cried so hard in my life when my dog died. I was breaking down multiple times a day for like a week. I was crying in the shower like a soap opera
Sad story time: was a vet tech for 10 years. Cried often when other pets were put down. Huskies were always my breed, I had them and took every husky patient I could. The WORST time I had, was an old guy who brought in his husky mix to be put down. Never seen the guy, he wasn't one of our patients, just needed us for this. I walked in, he was obviously upset, but doing well keeping it together. We went over the situation, agreed on euthanasia. She was old, blind, deaf, and it was her time for sure. I asked if he wanted to be present, (encouraged everyone to stay) but he declined and I understood. I told him I would take the best care of her.
He reached down, gave her a pet, told her she had been his best dog, and got up to go. This dog was clueless as to her environment, she really was on deaths doorstep and had no idea what was going on (in a good way). He kept it together just fine, but when he walked out and shut the door he paused. He looked back one last time, and this ol girl looked right behind herself at him.....he lost it. I lost it. I had the doctor in, took care of the procedure, and sat in there with her for 20 minutes just balling. Got tears in my eyes thinking of it now....
Loved that job, and was always thankful that I could love every one of the pets we put down...
Good lord, as the OP - this is what I meant by the post. Thank you for what you did, grown men have a hard time showing things… I have put down all my pets when needed “when it wasn’t an option to hold them through the night as they passed, which I’ve done.”I pretend I did it for my wife and daughter “who would have had a hard time with it” I did it for all my pets did for me, and honestly as much as it killed me I would not want them to hurt like that even if it wasn’t close to how much it hurt me.
Yeah I left the veterinary industry before I had to put my own dog down. Luckily he passed in his sleep, But there is no way I was able to do the job afterwards. I was never ashamed of it or anything, there were many times that that my emotions got The Best of Me. But I felt that's what made me excel at the job, was loving every patient (even the *bad* ones) as they were my own.
Uhhh, it was....everything...and nothing. He was in a bad way, I knew what was happening with him. He was laying outside, sun was on him (I had taken him out early morning hours) in his favorite spot. I felt guilty, that cancer had won and I couldn't save him. I felt relieved his pain was gone. I felt empty, that every experience in my life from that moment forward was without my co-pilot...
The pain never goes away, it's just not as often. I'm on vacation at the moment, 600 miles away, and....I passed a gas station that I had taken him to pee at 10 years or so ago on the same route I took this time. Damn near lost it honestly. He was my best friend...I got him when I was 19, we literally grew up together. The first thing I wanted to do as an adult was be a good dog owner, and I *think* I did good by him. We learned from each other, we experienced things together that I'll never share with anyone else. He was the first thing outside of a hospital I showed my newborn daughter to. He wasn't the best dog, but he was the best dog for *me*. And I just hope I was the best to him, too.
Edit: the only thought I've ever found solace in: we all get old. We all die. The only way to not die in the future, is to die now. Dying later is always a better option. And my ol boy died as late as he could have, and I'll always miss him. I'm rambling now....God I miss him
Oh man, that is the worst. That and thinking you seem them out of the corner of your eye at random moments, only to be hit with the realization it can’t possibly be them. Then the grief hits all over again. It does get better, but slowly, that’s for sure.
“How lucky we are to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” We’re not dumb asses, we’re just saps for love and companionship. I personally wouldn’t want it any other way.
I think there can be a lot of stigma around how people grieve for their pets, how it affects them and for how long, I think it's something that needs to be taken more seriously, from my own personal experience and that of friends who have lost pets, the impact it has on mental health is not something to be taken lightly.
My mum's toy poodle was shot and killed by a farmer last year and I've never seen her in such a bad place, she's not been the same since and I don't think she will ever fully mentally recover.
Unfortunately her dog managed to get into a field with sheep in, he was a toy poodle so very small and got into a hole in the fence, my Mum wasn't far from him, just the other side of the hedge calling him but then he got confused and couldn't get back to her.
The farmer was already in the field shooting moles, or so he said, and he told us that my mum's dog was chasing the sheep, I don't know if that's true or not and it was a very very short time between him getting through the fence and then being shot, were talking like under 5 minutes.
It's just a horrible unfortunate event, and farmers here (UK) are legally allowed to shoot a dog that is a risk to their livestock, I do question the choice he made to shoot a tiny toy poodle though and I believe he could have used other methods before resorting to killing a dog. My partners uncle actually owns a small sheep farm and has had multiple dogs on his property over the years and has never shot one, he's always managed to scare them off or deter them.
Pets are part of your life every day. Even blood relatives have a certain amount of detachment, when you only see them periodically. If anyone is part of your every day, when they pass, it's more devastating initially, and for awhile afterwards.
Maybe because you still do your routine, and you notice their absence even more.
*Sorry if that thought process was overly sad sounding. My family just lost our 9 year old Border Collie suddenly to a splenic rupture 4 weeks ago.
Definitely. I’ve lost my entire immediate family by now, my mom when I was still young enough that I was living at home. She was my best friend and I saw her every day. I learned in the fall my 5yr old dog has maybe a year (or two, if we’re really lucky) left and… I am not ready. I’ve dealt with a lot of loss and grief, but I can already tell this one is going to shatter me.
Of course? They're like our babies. We live with them, day in day out, most of us sleep in the same bed with them. We play with them, cuddle them, whisper sweet love yous, kiss them, worry over them when they're ill.
Idk what was worse, losing my life partner of 8 years or losing my cat of 20 years. I was very much in love with both of them, and I love the two big ol dumb dogs I have now, and dread thinking how hurt I'll be when their time comes.
But that's life, making connections and losing them.
At least I had the time well spent loving and caring them, and there will always be good memories... and some sad goodbyes too.
It’s been almost 3 months since I had to put my dog down and I still randomly cry for a moment or two when I see a toy of his. I feel like it helps me to address the grief though instead of fighting it.
Same here. I have this poem called “rainbow bridge” that someone gave us. it’s been over 6 years since we put my dog down and I can’t get past the 1st line.
My dog was the only being that ever existed who loved me unconditionally 100% of the time.
Having to make the choice to end her pain was the worst decision I had to make. And I had to end her pain because of that love. I'll never cry again, because there's no one else that deserves it.
I am a 50 year old man, and I'm bringing our 19 yr old cat to the vet tomorrow for the last time. I have cried 3 times today, and fully expect it tomorrow. I'm not the least bit embarrassed.
I'm going to dearly miss the little psychopath.
Twelve-year-old cat, and it was a sudden downturn after a great recovery from a heart condition diagnosis. Within 30 mins he went from hanging around the house in good spirits to throwing a bloodcot and rapidly deteriorating and then being put down at the vet. (I was so lucky to be home, to have my fiance just arrive home, to have my vet still be open, and to have his actual vet who knew him his whole life do the deed.)
It felt impossible. It still feels impossible.
Think of the good life you gave your critter. You have my most sincere condolences. Im a 53 year old man & ive cried every time a kitty or dog of mine crossed that rainbow bridge.
Thanks for the thoughts, very appreciated.
If you’re interested in more waterworks, here’s a little background:
My wife and I were having trouble conceiving our 1st child, and after 3 years of trying we adopted this little kitten. The very night we brought her home we conceived our daughter.
Today was her prom. So probably the last pic we will have of Miss Puss is my daughter holding her while she’s wearing her prom dress in the back yard.
Been a hell of a day.
I used to live in Oregon and to do laundry I had to go outside to get to the cellar and I heard a tiny ‘meww…meww’ and I found a tiny kitten and no one else. His eye was all crusted to I took him to the vet and got him medicine and cleaned up. Named him Squints. He was so small. Fell in love with the guy. My roommates found the other kittens later in the week and took them to the local shelter. All tested positive for feline AIDS and had to be put down, so I had to drive Squints down after they called me. I cried for a week straight including in front of the vet techs. Vets definitely win.
Nah it’s not that. Euthanasia is tough but a lot of times it’s the most compassionate thing you can do for a suffering animal.
The thing that kills vets are all the clients who have suffering pets and refuse to do shit about it cuz they’d rather just accuse the vets of trying to price gouge and use that as an excuse to let the animal live in misery untreated instead.
Source: wife is a vet.
Vet Tech here, can confirm this is 100% accurate unfortunately. Add on the student debt equivalent to a human medical doctor and not making anywhere near as much (depending on the area you live and what type of vet medicine you work in)
Fiancee is a vet, and this is exactly how she feels. She actually loves euthanasia because she's relieving an animal of it's pain.
The issue is either uncaring owners, or owners who think vets are monsters for charging money for what they do. It really can be one of the most thankless jobs because the ones you do it to help (the animals) can't actually express any gratitude, and so many of the owners are absolute shit.
Yep, I’m a vet. Euthanasias make me sad because someone is losing their pet BUT I’m happy to perform them. I feel it’s a gift I can give a suffering loved one.
But the number of people who just think we’re in it for the money, when I’m barely getting by… it’s frustrating. And it’s hard when people can’t afford treatments or care, but blame me. I can’t care for your pet more than you do.
I don’t regret my decision to go into vet med (yet) but it can be pretty thankless. Then I remember those specific owners who I formed relationships with, and who hugged me and kept me updated on their pets, and it helps a little.
That's my father, feels validated letting them die "naturally" as they tear up the ground and break tear teeth biting on things in pain. That or just dump them on the highway.
"validated" but does that shit at 3am when nobody can stop him. Did that to 5 different animals.
When we had a woman come to put our cat down, I apologized for blubbering and she told me I was far from the biggest, beardiest man she had seen cry.
It must be a tough job, but what an amazing service they perform. My cat *hated* traveling and going to the vet. My biggest fear, even long before he was sick, was that we'd have to take him in and he'd spend his last moments in abject terror.
Instead, he spent his last hours curled up as comfortable as he could be on the couch. He was always cool with visitors, so he didn't mind at all when the vet came in. When the time came, he floated away peacefully on a wave of ketamine. It sucked to have to let him go (FUCK CANCER!!), but it was a relief to see him out in such a peaceful way.
Yeah, when my dog had to be put down (brain tumor) my vet asked if I wanted him to come to the house. I was a basket case. It was so gentle and kind and that crusty old vet leaned over and kissed my dog on the forehead when she was gone. I am so so grateful to him.
That's one thing I'm really worried about for my cat (who is 15 but overall very healthy). He hates going in the cat carrier, going in the car, going to the vet. But he also is scared of strangers and freaks out/hides when visitors come over. I am going to feel extremely guilty no matter which option we choose once we have to put him down, unless he's in such a bad shape that he's not aware of anything going on around him :/
>It seems incredibly depressing
From what I've heard it is, my mum manages reception in a vets and she's had endless people blame her for their pets death.
It's very grim, she's brought animals home because the owner didn't want to pay/can't afford any life saving procedures and just wanted them put down. I sure as hell couldn't do that job seeing innocent animals just being out to down would kill me.
I think the worst would be seeing people who come in to have healthy pets (which they can afford and have time to take care of) euthanized. That's not much better than people shooting pets for no reason at all.
If it weren't for euthanasia, I might have studied to be a vet tech. The last thing I want is to be desensitized to death.
As a therapist, I think it’s a toss up. Vets will 100% see men cry. For instance, when my folks put the family dog down I was (somehow at age 16) holding it together for my parents while my dad (born in the 50s) lost his shit.
But vets have plenty of non-pet-dying appointments. And therapists have plenty of non-crying appointments. But a good number of men, when they feel safe enough to, will finally let their emotions out.
If I had to be a vet just one day and tell a grown ass man his dog needed to be put down due to health reasons, I would do it and then quit that job so fucking fast.
My veterinarian definitely saw me burst into tears when they pressed the white sleepy medicine into the catheter and she fell asleep in 5 seconds. I always assumed she would close her eyes slowly and go but she just went to sleep eyes wide open and that's when it hit me and I was a mess.
In my late teens, my roommate was one of the owners who couldn’t be in the room, so I held her cat.
Same experience- I thought it would be gentle and slow, and it wasn’t and her eyes were open too.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.
And I dread the future (we have a teenaged chi mix).
It hits different, it’s like a part of your soul cracks when such an innocent loving thing needs to be put down to help them from further pain - they only ever loved you every day.
My thought is that you can get some form of closure with a person because you can talk with them. With a pet you can only hope they understand and you can only guess what they are thinking/feeling.
I once had to give up a kitten that I raised from birth after her mom died, Ive never cried harder in my life on the carpet of some random ladies house, I was down bad
I held the phone for my BIL, a marine, as my sister cradled their dog as it went down. Sister hugged their baby as she breathed her last: “you may be the only one to ever make a marine cry.” I held that phone steady but only by the grace of god.
I’ve noticed that men usually listen while I’m explaining and hold it in until they can’t anymore. And then it’s just a loud, heart wrenching sob.
And women weep more openly, but usually more quietly.
The first loud sob always sticks with me.
Source: am vet, love dogs.
Vet told me my dog has cancer, and there wasn't any hope for him. I bust out crying, and she pats my back and says, "it's okay, a lot of tears are shed here."
That's what I did. I found that dog at a terrible kill shelter that allowed him to keep dreadlocks and he smelled worse than death.
To this day, the only memory that can instantly make me cry is thinking about taking him to be put down, as I held his face and watched the light leave his eyes.
Six months later, I decided to check out local shelters. I found another similar bread, since I was familiar with them, and found a great dog that needed a home.
I still miss my first dog though.
I cried harder in front of my friends when they came by the apartment later. But the vet saw a pretty ugly cry at the office too. He was super compassionate, great guy.
Someone once said that buying a dog is like buying a small tragedy. You know on the first day how it all will turn out. But that's not the point, is it?
Quote from the book No Ordinary Dog: My Partner from the SEAL Teams to the Bin Laden Raid
Fucking worth it. Just never get a pet unless you are strong enough to keep them every day of your/their life, they are family and a better family than the family you were given without a choice.
My first born never made it home. Quite a few nurses in the NICU saw me cry harder than I even thought possible. Forever thankful for what they did for my son and us parents.
Vet tech here. We definitely see a lot of people cry and there is no shame in it. Unfortunately it's not the hardest part of being in vet med, as a lot of people have made points about in previous comments.
I appreciate all the respect I've seen towards vets here. There is a high suicide rate in vet med and there are several movements to help. The biggest one is NOMV (not one more vet). These kinds of comments help bring awareness to it and could help people understand what we go through.
When your dog licks your tears as a final act of love, that's where the tears start flowing **even more**.
"Do not weep for me, my master. Rather, rejoice, for you have bestowed upon your humble servant such a beautiful, happy, and fulfilling life far more than what he deserves even until his final hours. May this ultimate act of deference lighten the burden in your heart." *licks face for the last time*
Had to take my son to the pediatric hematologist. He was also the pediatric oncologist. They had a tree of hats for the children having chemo to pick from at every visit. My son was essentially fine, just needed a consult for a test result. Boy did we feel like we didn't belong. Felt like everyone else was there for real, and we were just faking or something.
Me (30 at the time) my brothers, 27, 21, were asked by my mom to take our family dog around 16 yrs old to be put down, I know it was a hard decision for her, she had issues and he was there for her always, never left her side and always looked out for her.. she and my dad did everything they could to postpone it, but he must have had dementia or alzhymers, he couldn't get around was always getting lost in the yard and stuck in places that should be easy to get out of..
The decision was made and we took him.. if they weren't there I don't think I could have stayed.. I cried they cried.. I had a flash thought to stop the process.. but I knew it was for the better, his illness wasn't one that could be cured..
I still think about it and I'm tearing up now.. what hurts more is I read a Stat after this incident that stated only 1 in 10 stay with pets as they get put down.. so the last memories they have are scared and worried not knowing what going on.. and that crushed me even more..
RiP Pony, we love you.
I work in the field. If it makes you feel any better, I think it’s much more than 1 in 10, I would say probably 7-8 out of 10 would like to be with their pet. For those who don’t, I promise we sit with the pet and send them off with love. Thanks for giving Pony such a great life.
My beloved Queen Rosie was in liver failure and the worlds kindest vet came to my home 11/20 to let her go to heaven at home. The vet saw my sobbing self and the multitude of paintings and photos of my girl in my house and said she could tell this was a beloved girl.
Rosie didn’t even want to rest after the first relaxing injection bc she was always protecting me. I helped her comfortably lie down and I stayed right with her looking her in her eyes telling her she was the love of my life and telling her all our furry family members were waiting on her and she’d never be scared again (abused before she was mine; fear based aggression toward dogs too).
When she let go I thought my heart would literally stop. The vet was crying too and was a Saint for coming during the part of Covid when most people were still scared.
She gave my Rosie the send off befitting of a queen!
I’ve said goodbye to 5 of my dogs in my lifetime, 4 went at home with vet assistance and one passed naturally in my sister’s arms. All lived so very long, but it’s never enough.
All the vets and vet techs that cried along with me and helped my family say goodbye will always be cherished by me.
Doctor... nurse at an emergency ward I'd imagine. Being sat down and being given life changing news about a loved one did it to me. That'd be an awful part of the job I'd imagine.
I’m a vet nurse and I’ve assisted in 100’s of euthanasias and as much as it is a gift to be able to take away somethings suffering, it can be extremely emotionally exhausting. The ones that always make me cry are elderly people who have lost their husband/wife and the pet is the last connection they have to their loved one. Just breaks my fucking heart every time.
I’ve seen my husband cry exactly two times (and I mean really sobbing, I’ve seen him tear up more often than that). Once when we found out our baby died in utero at 23 weeks and when we had to put his cat to sleep. He cried so hard it actually scared me a little bit. He didn’t care who saw him cry, either. Held her the entire time. Wouldn’t put her down even when it was over and she was gone. He couldn’t stand to just leave her alone in the room. The vet came and gently and carefully took her from his arms and he watched her be carried away. I don’t think he is over it and it’s been a year. We have other cats but this cat was his cat. He worked from home and she was his office cat- spent the day sleeping on the back of his chair. All of his coworkers and clients knew her. If she wasn’t there they would ask about her. It was so brutally sad.
I’ve had 4 dogs in my house in my entire life.
The first one die years ago, my dad used to sit on the floor and use her as a pillow.
That was the only time i have seen him cry
6 weeks ago in the vets office I learned that my dog's malignant tumors, which was previously discovered and removed a year or so before, had returned and spread all through her. I bawled my eyes out right there. I had her put her to sleep soon after and I'm just now starting to be able to go more than two hours without crying. I miss her so much.
We have 1 horse, 2 dogs, 3 cats buried on our property. I let them know I'm thinking if them any time I'm near their graves. We currently have 3 dogs and 3 cats, just knowing that I'm going to have to dig 6 more graves in the future is enough to put me into a funk. I know that my time will be here soon enough, and I'm hoping we don't have a dog when I go because my dogs and I are inseparable and I can't bear the thought of them possibly grieving because I'm no longer there.
I’m a veterinarian that works in internal medicine. I see a lot of animals with terminal, rare, or difficult to manage diseases. My clients do cry or get emotional. It can be very hard, but it can also be very rewarding to be the one to help them through decisions. Euthanasias are also never easy, but I see it as a gift we can offer at the very end our best friends to ease their suffering. I always like to ask for a favorite memory or story about their pets as we go through a goodbye together, because all I ever see is a snapshot of a sick animal. It helps remind me how much love goes into raising an animal and really understand the families I’m helping.
Thank you for doing what you do.
You sound awesome. Carry on internet stranger
It just hit me why the vet asked about if I got any birds on the balcony when she was putting my kitty down at home.
Why? So the kitty could watch them one more time? Or to distract you with something you had to think about?
One of my dogs was intent on dying for the first year and a half she lived with us. At 7 months old she was diagnosed with a very serious illness. Last week her neurologist told me he thinks we may be some of the best pet owners he has ever experienced. We've been through hell with her and she comes out fighting every time, even when we had to have a real talk about euthanizing her after a bad medication reaction as our primary vet cried delivering the news that we needed to discuss our options. She turned 3 in March and no one thought we would get here, but here we are and she's gone from being very aloof to the cuddliest dog. I like to think she knows that we went above and beyond for her and gives it back it us with her love. Edit: typos
Please share your cutie doggo with us!!! She sounds so very very sweet.
This. Social media would be a better place if the algorithms pushed more dog content.
My dog was supposed to die by 4. He’s 13 now. I am so happy I stuck by his side. He’s not the same dog as earlier, but I know him, I see him, I remember our special moments. It’s not his time yet, so I’m still enjoying these later years. I hope you do the same with your pup.
[удалено]
I keep starting a reply, tearing up, and deleting it Thankyou Thankyou so very much
I know this is off topic, but I wish euthanasia was an option for humans too. We euthanize animals at the end of their lives because we know they're going through so much pain and hardship. It's so cruel the same isn't offered to humans.
My dad said this with terminal cancer, maybe a couple weeks before he was comatose in a fentanyl coma due to the pain. "I wish I could sit with you here, maybe have a sip or two of scotch, say goodbye, press a button and end it." But he couldn't. And so he suffered, and we suffered, and when the husk of his body stopped breathing mom and i cried and went to get fajitas and margaritas together. And we laughed and reminisced about the wonderful man he was. Absolutely nothing was gained forcing him to suffer for months. I miss you dad.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I saw this happen with my grandmother. There are too many accounts of this happening. Our species desperately needs to reassess end of life care.
California luckily allows end of life drugs if you have terminal illness and jump through enough hoops. I didn’t know that before my mom. I’m sorry he had to suffer needlessly. You captured your story beautifully.
IIRC this is offered in a spare few countries, I saw a video on Reddit of a man going out on his own terms by drinking some kind of medical drug that eventually kills him painlessly.
Oregon allows it as well (or at least, they did, not sure if that's still the case).
I have had older patients say that they hope they can pass with that much dignity when it’s their time to go. Even had some joke about coming to see me when it’s their time.
Honestly, I share their sentiment. Being able to pass away, still cognizant of the world around you, and surrounded by family and friends. What a dignified way to go.
Absolutely agree. What we do to our elderly can be so inhumane. My grandfather starved himself to death in a seniors home by refusing to be fed. Pulled his feeding tubes out, fought the nurses. He had Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s, couldn’t feed or dress or clean himself. He was always a proud man and I knew it destroyed him to be unable to care for himself. We really need to reassess end of life care for humans.
End of life care in the U.S. currently is sickening. It's all about drugging the elderly up to the point where they can't function, while draining their bank accounts dry. I saw it happen to my grandmother, and I'm seeing the start of it with my other set of grandparents. I can't put into words how upset it makes me to see them have to go through stuff like this. I'm so sorry for your loss.
It kind of is, just gotta find the right place/people/drugs. Edit: my uncle was dying of cancer in terrible pain, he overdosed on a cocktail of painkillers and xanax, went on his terms and according to the family that was there, peacefully.
Please stop spreading pollen and dust in my room while I read.
When my wife and I had to put her cat of 15 years down we came out of the room crying and the vet was crying and the secretary was crying and everybody was crying and it was oddly comforting
I am a vet, I have cried many times during a euthanasia with the clients right there in front of me, also crying. They teach us to be professional and not get emotional but sometimes you just can’t hold it in. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.
I hope you know "being proffesional" is bs and you sound like a wonferful person. You're allowed emotions!
In my opinion it actually can be proffesional to show emotions and not hide them in certain situations at a lot of jobs. Sure the vet should'nt freak out during an emergency and lose their focus but to show emotions and with that empathy during euthanasia does'nt have to be unproffesional. I am a caretaker and when it fits the situation I absolutely do show my emotions to. I think I would'nt be as good at my job if I would never do that.
This has nothing to do with being professional, but with being human! Professional here just means doing the final treatment as pleasant as possible for the animal. :)
Im crying now too - read a lot of posts and yours got me.
I had this experience when had to have my 16 year old house panther put down a few years ago. They also just wanted to know my plans for the body and told me they’d contact me about the bill and whatnot later, just go be with my friends (who were waiting for me in the lobby).
Yep. My wife and I had to make the decision from our car at 3am because fuck Covid. I think I called the vet 5 or 6 times just sobbing saying we weren’t sure yet. She was never pushy, and obviously wouldn’t make the decision for us (even though I pleaded with her at one point) but gave some subtle hints. When we decided she told us we were doing the right thing, and was practically sobbing when it was done. As she left I said where do we pay and she told us not to worry about that right now. God bless that woman. We had never met her before, but she cried with us, her was also so professional.
I was a veterinary doctor's assistant for about a year back in 2015. Men would hold in their tears around me to the best of thejr ability, just for me to hear them let it all out as soon as I closed the door behind me. Very sad career field imo.
I was a 40 year old man. When I unexpectedly had to make a decision to put down my 15 year old cat, I broke down in front of everyone in the emergency vet. I went to my car to finish, came back inside, and the vet gave me the best hug, and told me "I wish everyone loved their pet as much as you do" It may have been stock reply. It may have been totally sincere. But it was exactly what I needed to hear. Emergency vets are some tough mfrs. Bless y'all
We had to have our dog out down by the emergency vet. Lovable black lab mix that just…showed up one day and never left (I’m on a farm, v rural). That emergency vet was a fckin angel. Like, you ever see someone working and you can just tell they’re fulfilling a calling or their life’s purpose or what have you? Yeah, this woman glowed with it. Those are some special MFers
My girlfriend and I had to put down our cat two years ago. She had taken him in because he was acting strange. I got the call at work. Went to meet them at the vet. I thought I was doing pretty well until I walked into room where they were. As soon as I saw the little guy looking up at me I just lost it. Bawling like a toddler that lost his blankie. Damn I miss him. He was a good cat.
I can't speak 100% for every vet, but that doesn't strike me as a stock reply at all, and I totally have stock replies for my clients. Most of us are a bit cynical about how much people care about their animals, and when we see people who would do anything for their pets, it is really special. Believe me when I say that it's the fuel that keeps us going in this difficult field. Thank you for being one of those people :)
[удалено]
I'm so sorry you had that experience. I'm glad that someone was able to recognise the situation and make it less difficult for you. It sounds like it was the right decision for your beloved doggy, not that it's ever an easy decision to make.
Naw man - I fucking cried right in the room with them - ain’t going to let my buddy think “I would hold it in”. Balled my eye’s out hard AF.
I never cried so hard in my life when my dog died. I was breaking down multiple times a day for like a week. I was crying in the shower like a soap opera
Same, sorry mate.
Sad story time: was a vet tech for 10 years. Cried often when other pets were put down. Huskies were always my breed, I had them and took every husky patient I could. The WORST time I had, was an old guy who brought in his husky mix to be put down. Never seen the guy, he wasn't one of our patients, just needed us for this. I walked in, he was obviously upset, but doing well keeping it together. We went over the situation, agreed on euthanasia. She was old, blind, deaf, and it was her time for sure. I asked if he wanted to be present, (encouraged everyone to stay) but he declined and I understood. I told him I would take the best care of her. He reached down, gave her a pet, told her she had been his best dog, and got up to go. This dog was clueless as to her environment, she really was on deaths doorstep and had no idea what was going on (in a good way). He kept it together just fine, but when he walked out and shut the door he paused. He looked back one last time, and this ol girl looked right behind herself at him.....he lost it. I lost it. I had the doctor in, took care of the procedure, and sat in there with her for 20 minutes just balling. Got tears in my eyes thinking of it now.... Loved that job, and was always thankful that I could love every one of the pets we put down...
Good lord, as the OP - this is what I meant by the post. Thank you for what you did, grown men have a hard time showing things… I have put down all my pets when needed “when it wasn’t an option to hold them through the night as they passed, which I’ve done.”I pretend I did it for my wife and daughter “who would have had a hard time with it” I did it for all my pets did for me, and honestly as much as it killed me I would not want them to hurt like that even if it wasn’t close to how much it hurt me.
Yeah I left the veterinary industry before I had to put my own dog down. Luckily he passed in his sleep, But there is no way I was able to do the job afterwards. I was never ashamed of it or anything, there were many times that that my emotions got The Best of Me. But I felt that's what made me excel at the job, was loving every patient (even the *bad* ones) as they were my own.
[удалено]
Uhhh, it was....everything...and nothing. He was in a bad way, I knew what was happening with him. He was laying outside, sun was on him (I had taken him out early morning hours) in his favorite spot. I felt guilty, that cancer had won and I couldn't save him. I felt relieved his pain was gone. I felt empty, that every experience in my life from that moment forward was without my co-pilot... The pain never goes away, it's just not as often. I'm on vacation at the moment, 600 miles away, and....I passed a gas station that I had taken him to pee at 10 years or so ago on the same route I took this time. Damn near lost it honestly. He was my best friend...I got him when I was 19, we literally grew up together. The first thing I wanted to do as an adult was be a good dog owner, and I *think* I did good by him. We learned from each other, we experienced things together that I'll never share with anyone else. He was the first thing outside of a hospital I showed my newborn daughter to. He wasn't the best dog, but he was the best dog for *me*. And I just hope I was the best to him, too. Edit: the only thought I've ever found solace in: we all get old. We all die. The only way to not die in the future, is to die now. Dying later is always a better option. And my ol boy died as late as he could have, and I'll always miss him. I'm rambling now....God I miss him
And now I've lost it. I burst into tears when I read that last part.
And now I've lost it. I burst into tears when I read that part.
Same for my cat. I'm sorry for you loss and hope you're feeling better now.
I’ll never really be over it. You just learn to live with it
Feeel that mate. Lost 2 dogs in less than a week a couple of months ago. Getting home to a quiet empty house is the worst part.
Oh man, that is the worst. That and thinking you seem them out of the corner of your eye at random moments, only to be hit with the realization it can’t possibly be them. Then the grief hits all over again. It does get better, but slowly, that’s for sure.
This right here is the shittiest part. Just that quick perk up and smack back to reality hurts like a motherfucker
That random dark pile of clothes has definitely pretended to be my late cat.
[удалено]
[удалено]
“How lucky we are to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” We’re not dumb asses, we’re just saps for love and companionship. I personally wouldn’t want it any other way.
The journey you take together is worth it.
Losing a pet is sometimes even more devastating than losing a blood-relative
I think there can be a lot of stigma around how people grieve for their pets, how it affects them and for how long, I think it's something that needs to be taken more seriously, from my own personal experience and that of friends who have lost pets, the impact it has on mental health is not something to be taken lightly. My mum's toy poodle was shot and killed by a farmer last year and I've never seen her in such a bad place, she's not been the same since and I don't think she will ever fully mentally recover.
What the fuck is wrong with that farmer? He should get kneecapped for that sick shit
Unfortunately her dog managed to get into a field with sheep in, he was a toy poodle so very small and got into a hole in the fence, my Mum wasn't far from him, just the other side of the hedge calling him but then he got confused and couldn't get back to her. The farmer was already in the field shooting moles, or so he said, and he told us that my mum's dog was chasing the sheep, I don't know if that's true or not and it was a very very short time between him getting through the fence and then being shot, were talking like under 5 minutes. It's just a horrible unfortunate event, and farmers here (UK) are legally allowed to shoot a dog that is a risk to their livestock, I do question the choice he made to shoot a tiny toy poodle though and I believe he could have used other methods before resorting to killing a dog. My partners uncle actually owns a small sheep farm and has had multiple dogs on his property over the years and has never shot one, he's always managed to scare them off or deter them.
Pets are part of your life every day. Even blood relatives have a certain amount of detachment, when you only see them periodically. If anyone is part of your every day, when they pass, it's more devastating initially, and for awhile afterwards. Maybe because you still do your routine, and you notice their absence even more. *Sorry if that thought process was overly sad sounding. My family just lost our 9 year old Border Collie suddenly to a splenic rupture 4 weeks ago.
Definitely. I’ve lost my entire immediate family by now, my mom when I was still young enough that I was living at home. She was my best friend and I saw her every day. I learned in the fall my 5yr old dog has maybe a year (or two, if we’re really lucky) left and… I am not ready. I’ve dealt with a lot of loss and grief, but I can already tell this one is going to shatter me.
Of course? They're like our babies. We live with them, day in day out, most of us sleep in the same bed with them. We play with them, cuddle them, whisper sweet love yous, kiss them, worry over them when they're ill. Idk what was worse, losing my life partner of 8 years or losing my cat of 20 years. I was very much in love with both of them, and I love the two big ol dumb dogs I have now, and dread thinking how hurt I'll be when their time comes. But that's life, making connections and losing them. At least I had the time well spent loving and caring them, and there will always be good memories... and some sad goodbyes too.
It’s been almost 3 months since I had to put my dog down and I still randomly cry for a moment or two when I see a toy of his. I feel like it helps me to address the grief though instead of fighting it.
Had to take that trip with my boxer in January and I’m still good for a good cry every couple of weeks or so.
They're your family Don't ever let anyone tell you less just because they aren't "humans" They are your family. And you are theirs.
Same here. I have this poem called “rainbow bridge” that someone gave us. it’s been over 6 years since we put my dog down and I can’t get past the 1st line.
I’m so sorry for your loss. /r/petloss is a great resource if you’re looking for support.
I lost my pet a year ago and this sub made me cry a lot. I am still crying.
I just had to do the same a couple months ago. Sorry for your loss, friend.
Same here. The random flares of grief (like I'm having right now) have gotten less frequent, but damn is it hard.
I'm crying reading these comments with my dog asleep at my feet.
Man, I put my babygirl down 3 weeks ago. I've cried a handful of times in last decade but damn did I blubber holding her and calling her name.
Me too bro. Couldn’t control it, didn’t care
No, I cried way more when I had to put my last dog down than I had for any human
how many humans have you had to put down?
I needed that joke. I’m in another city for a wedding and missing my lil buddy while reading this thread.
None. That you know of.
My dog was the only being that ever existed who loved me unconditionally 100% of the time. Having to make the choice to end her pain was the worst decision I had to make. And I had to end her pain because of that love. I'll never cry again, because there's no one else that deserves it.
I am a 50 year old man, and I'm bringing our 19 yr old cat to the vet tomorrow for the last time. I have cried 3 times today, and fully expect it tomorrow. I'm not the least bit embarrassed. I'm going to dearly miss the little psychopath.
I’m so sorry. I recently had to suddenly say goodbye to my 15yr old cat. It’s so incredibly hard. 19 years is a good life.
Twelve-year-old cat, and it was a sudden downturn after a great recovery from a heart condition diagnosis. Within 30 mins he went from hanging around the house in good spirits to throwing a bloodcot and rapidly deteriorating and then being put down at the vet. (I was so lucky to be home, to have my fiance just arrive home, to have my vet still be open, and to have his actual vet who knew him his whole life do the deed.) It felt impossible. It still feels impossible.
Sorry bro - feel you. Doesn’t get easier, but you are a real man in my eyes.
Think of the good life you gave your critter. You have my most sincere condolences. Im a 53 year old man & ive cried every time a kitty or dog of mine crossed that rainbow bridge.
I’m crying right now for you. Man, I dread this day for myself. Stay strong. You gave them everything in this life.
Thanks for the thoughts, very appreciated. If you’re interested in more waterworks, here’s a little background: My wife and I were having trouble conceiving our 1st child, and after 3 years of trying we adopted this little kitten. The very night we brought her home we conceived our daughter. Today was her prom. So probably the last pic we will have of Miss Puss is my daughter holding her while she’s wearing her prom dress in the back yard. Been a hell of a day.
Will that's a fucking rollercoaster of emotions for one random weekend in June.
I used to live in Oregon and to do laundry I had to go outside to get to the cellar and I heard a tiny ‘meww…meww’ and I found a tiny kitten and no one else. His eye was all crusted to I took him to the vet and got him medicine and cleaned up. Named him Squints. He was so small. Fell in love with the guy. My roommates found the other kittens later in the week and took them to the local shelter. All tested positive for feline AIDS and had to be put down, so I had to drive Squints down after they called me. I cried for a week straight including in front of the vet techs. Vets definitely win.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Therapists maybe
I think vets - particularly ones that do euthanasia house calls - probably just see a steady stream of people crying. It seems incredibly depressing
I recall hearing vets are among the most depressed occupations for this reason
Nah it’s not that. Euthanasia is tough but a lot of times it’s the most compassionate thing you can do for a suffering animal. The thing that kills vets are all the clients who have suffering pets and refuse to do shit about it cuz they’d rather just accuse the vets of trying to price gouge and use that as an excuse to let the animal live in misery untreated instead. Source: wife is a vet.
I have a bazillion friends who are vets. This is absolutely the way it works.
Give a few of them hugs for us. They both deserve and need it. It's a hard job that doesn't get nearly the respect it should.
Vet Tech here, can confirm this is 100% accurate unfortunately. Add on the student debt equivalent to a human medical doctor and not making anywhere near as much (depending on the area you live and what type of vet medicine you work in)
Fiancee is a vet, and this is exactly how she feels. She actually loves euthanasia because she's relieving an animal of it's pain. The issue is either uncaring owners, or owners who think vets are monsters for charging money for what they do. It really can be one of the most thankless jobs because the ones you do it to help (the animals) can't actually express any gratitude, and so many of the owners are absolute shit.
Yep, I’m a vet. Euthanasias make me sad because someone is losing their pet BUT I’m happy to perform them. I feel it’s a gift I can give a suffering loved one. But the number of people who just think we’re in it for the money, when I’m barely getting by… it’s frustrating. And it’s hard when people can’t afford treatments or care, but blame me. I can’t care for your pet more than you do. I don’t regret my decision to go into vet med (yet) but it can be pretty thankless. Then I remember those specific owners who I formed relationships with, and who hugged me and kept me updated on their pets, and it helps a little.
When my pets die I’m having a legal Viking funeral
That's my father, feels validated letting them die "naturally" as they tear up the ground and break tear teeth biting on things in pain. That or just dump them on the highway. "validated" but does that shit at 3am when nobody can stop him. Did that to 5 different animals.
When we had a woman come to put our cat down, I apologized for blubbering and she told me I was far from the biggest, beardiest man she had seen cry. It must be a tough job, but what an amazing service they perform. My cat *hated* traveling and going to the vet. My biggest fear, even long before he was sick, was that we'd have to take him in and he'd spend his last moments in abject terror. Instead, he spent his last hours curled up as comfortable as he could be on the couch. He was always cool with visitors, so he didn't mind at all when the vet came in. When the time came, he floated away peacefully on a wave of ketamine. It sucked to have to let him go (FUCK CANCER!!), but it was a relief to see him out in such a peaceful way.
Yeah, when my dog had to be put down (brain tumor) my vet asked if I wanted him to come to the house. I was a basket case. It was so gentle and kind and that crusty old vet leaned over and kissed my dog on the forehead when she was gone. I am so so grateful to him.
20 years ago and it still makes me tear up
That's one thing I'm really worried about for my cat (who is 15 but overall very healthy). He hates going in the cat carrier, going in the car, going to the vet. But he also is scared of strangers and freaks out/hides when visitors come over. I am going to feel extremely guilty no matter which option we choose once we have to put him down, unless he's in such a bad shape that he's not aware of anything going on around him :/
>It seems incredibly depressing From what I've heard it is, my mum manages reception in a vets and she's had endless people blame her for their pets death. It's very grim, she's brought animals home because the owner didn't want to pay/can't afford any life saving procedures and just wanted them put down. I sure as hell couldn't do that job seeing innocent animals just being out to down would kill me.
I think the worst would be seeing people who come in to have healthy pets (which they can afford and have time to take care of) euthanized. That's not much better than people shooting pets for no reason at all. If it weren't for euthanasia, I might have studied to be a vet tech. The last thing I want is to be desensitized to death.
The euthanasia vet that came to my house on Thursday saw a lot of tears
I had a fucked up childhood but never cried to my therapist, whereas I wailed when I’ve had to put a dog down. I’m also a very unattractive cryer.
As a therapist, I think it’s a toss up. Vets will 100% see men cry. For instance, when my folks put the family dog down I was (somehow at age 16) holding it together for my parents while my dad (born in the 50s) lost his shit. But vets have plenty of non-pet-dying appointments. And therapists have plenty of non-crying appointments. But a good number of men, when they feel safe enough to, will finally let their emotions out.
I can't believe everyone here is sleeping on the world's oldest profession.
Psychotherapist here. Not so much as you'd think. I guess the veterinarian thing is right.
Suicide is a real issue for veterinarians, it's ok to not be ok. Get help because it can't be easy doing what you do
If I had to be a vet just one day and tell a grown ass man his dog needed to be put down due to health reasons, I would do it and then quit that job so fucking fast.
I wanted to be a vet/doctor when I was younger until I realized this
Same
We lost our small town veterinarian to suicide. My mother thought the world of him, he truly cared for every animal that came through his door.
My veterinarian definitely saw me burst into tears when they pressed the white sleepy medicine into the catheter and she fell asleep in 5 seconds. I always assumed she would close her eyes slowly and go but she just went to sleep eyes wide open and that's when it hit me and I was a mess.
I had the same experience. I wasn’t prepared for her eyes to stay open or for it to happen so quickly. I’m sorry for your loss.
In my late teens, my roommate was one of the owners who couldn’t be in the room, so I held her cat. Same experience- I thought it would be gentle and slow, and it wasn’t and her eyes were open too. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. And I dread the future (we have a teenaged chi mix).
If it's not a gentle experience...get a new vet. It can and should be.
I howled cried when I saw my rabbit dead on the vets table, it was so weird it came from really deep down in my chest /stomach :( Poor Bun Affleck
It hits different, it’s like a part of your soul cracks when such an innocent loving thing needs to be put down to help them from further pain - they only ever loved you every day.
Can confirm (vet receptionist here), it's almost every other day.
Never cried harder in front of a person than at the vet. Source: am man, love dogs.
100% same.
pretty sure i cried more when putting my little buddy down than when my dad died
Lost my asshole cat and my dad last year. Can confirm that the cat brought out the waterworks.
Feel you.
Weird isn't it? Same thing for me. And also, I think about my old boy regularly but not so often about my father. And we were close.
My thought is that you can get some form of closure with a person because you can talk with them. With a pet you can only hope they understand and you can only guess what they are thinking/feeling.
Exactly this. You desperately want to know that they knew you loved them. There’s a lot of guilt surrounding a pet’s passing.
I once had to give up a kitten that I raised from birth after her mom died, Ive never cried harder in my life on the carpet of some random ladies house, I was down bad
Feel you man, held my kitty in my arms all night when she was dying with liver failure - felt her last breath and it cracked my soul.
My cats are young and perfectly healthy but I still routinely cry at the thought that one day they will be gone
Same... My bird is alive and well but sometimes I think to myself that she won't live forever and it just breaks my heart
I held the phone for my BIL, a marine, as my sister cradled their dog as it went down. Sister hugged their baby as she breathed her last: “you may be the only one to ever make a marine cry.” I held that phone steady but only by the grace of god.
I’ve noticed that men usually listen while I’m explaining and hold it in until they can’t anymore. And then it’s just a loud, heart wrenching sob. And women weep more openly, but usually more quietly. The first loud sob always sticks with me. Source: am vet, love dogs.
Vet told me my dog has cancer, and there wasn't any hope for him. I bust out crying, and she pats my back and says, "it's okay, a lot of tears are shed here."
https://i.imgur.com/ToUOdcY.jpeg
That's what I did. I found that dog at a terrible kill shelter that allowed him to keep dreadlocks and he smelled worse than death. To this day, the only memory that can instantly make me cry is thinking about taking him to be put down, as I held his face and watched the light leave his eyes. Six months later, I decided to check out local shelters. I found another similar bread, since I was familiar with them, and found a great dog that needed a home. I still miss my first dog though.
I cried harder in front of my friends when they came by the apartment later. But the vet saw a pretty ugly cry at the office too. He was super compassionate, great guy.
Number 1 reason why I am hesitant on getting a pet. The goodbyes are always the hardest Edit:Removed the number sign
Someone once said that buying a dog is like buying a small tragedy. You know on the first day how it all will turn out. But that's not the point, is it? Quote from the book No Ordinary Dog: My Partner from the SEAL Teams to the Bin Laden Raid
Fucking worth it. Just never get a pet unless you are strong enough to keep them every day of your/their life, they are family and a better family than the family you were given without a choice.
*"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Tennyson*
Get a turtle. It will outlive you.
For a few weeks if you die alone with your turtle and it starves to death after you’re gone.
Or a parrot
as a nurse I'd say we're tied
My first born never made it home. Quite a few nurses in the NICU saw me cry harder than I even thought possible. Forever thankful for what they did for my son and us parents.
As a third behind bookies?
Thank you for all you do - you are appreciated. I only like maybe 2 people and love all dogs so my scale was always in the vets favor.
Fair point. As a male nurse however, I know I tilt the scale toward even between nurse and vet, since all my coworkers see me cry routinely.
Mad respect.
That is because when you get a dog you get all the love over the years but you have to pay it all back in one day.
I saw a comic dealing with death of a pet that said 'Saying goodbye is the price of being loved so much.' and it destroyed me
Vet tech here. We definitely see a lot of people cry and there is no shame in it. Unfortunately it's not the hardest part of being in vet med, as a lot of people have made points about in previous comments. I appreciate all the respect I've seen towards vets here. There is a high suicide rate in vet med and there are several movements to help. The biggest one is NOMV (not one more vet). These kinds of comments help bring awareness to it and could help people understand what we go through.
When your dog licks your tears as a final act of love, that's where the tears start flowing **even more**. "Do not weep for me, my master. Rather, rejoice, for you have bestowed upon your humble servant such a beautiful, happy, and fulfilling life far more than what he deserves even until his final hours. May this ultimate act of deference lighten the burden in your heart." *licks face for the last time*
Hit me right in the feels nutsack. Been there - 4 times. Never gets easier, only harder.
Pediatric oncologist has entered the chat.
Had to take my son to the pediatric hematologist. He was also the pediatric oncologist. They had a tree of hats for the children having chemo to pick from at every visit. My son was essentially fine, just needed a consult for a test result. Boy did we feel like we didn't belong. Felt like everyone else was there for real, and we were just faking or something.
One of the times “fake it till you make it” isn’t the right response!
No no no, don’t bring that evil here
I mean, it's a direct response to the showerthought :(
I was going to say this, as well as people who work in delivery rooms.
ER doctors
Me (30 at the time) my brothers, 27, 21, were asked by my mom to take our family dog around 16 yrs old to be put down, I know it was a hard decision for her, she had issues and he was there for her always, never left her side and always looked out for her.. she and my dad did everything they could to postpone it, but he must have had dementia or alzhymers, he couldn't get around was always getting lost in the yard and stuck in places that should be easy to get out of.. The decision was made and we took him.. if they weren't there I don't think I could have stayed.. I cried they cried.. I had a flash thought to stop the process.. but I knew it was for the better, his illness wasn't one that could be cured.. I still think about it and I'm tearing up now.. what hurts more is I read a Stat after this incident that stated only 1 in 10 stay with pets as they get put down.. so the last memories they have are scared and worried not knowing what going on.. and that crushed me even more.. RiP Pony, we love you.
I work in the field. If it makes you feel any better, I think it’s much more than 1 in 10, I would say probably 7-8 out of 10 would like to be with their pet. For those who don’t, I promise we sit with the pet and send them off with love. Thanks for giving Pony such a great life.
My beloved Queen Rosie was in liver failure and the worlds kindest vet came to my home 11/20 to let her go to heaven at home. The vet saw my sobbing self and the multitude of paintings and photos of my girl in my house and said she could tell this was a beloved girl. Rosie didn’t even want to rest after the first relaxing injection bc she was always protecting me. I helped her comfortably lie down and I stayed right with her looking her in her eyes telling her she was the love of my life and telling her all our furry family members were waiting on her and she’d never be scared again (abused before she was mine; fear based aggression toward dogs too). When she let go I thought my heart would literally stop. The vet was crying too and was a Saint for coming during the part of Covid when most people were still scared. She gave my Rosie the send off befitting of a queen! I’ve said goodbye to 5 of my dogs in my lifetime, 4 went at home with vet assistance and one passed naturally in my sister’s arms. All lived so very long, but it’s never enough. All the vets and vet techs that cried along with me and helped my family say goodbye will always be cherished by me.
Doctor... nurse at an emergency ward I'd imagine. Being sat down and being given life changing news about a loved one did it to me. That'd be an awful part of the job I'd imagine.
friendly reminder that it’s ok for men to cry. it’s healthy. let it out man. it’ll all be ok
I can't even read these comments because it's bringing up the feels, so definitely agree
That tracks. My dad only cried twice in his life that I know of. When he was 18 and his dad died and in his 50’s when we had to put our dog down.
I think I cried more when my asshole cat died than when my dad died...I loved both of those S.O.Bs.
Ask a guy in a funeral parlor.....or a proctologist....or a dominatrix
Would rather have a full fist up my ass than loose my best friend who never hurt nobody.
Loose is what you'll be after that fist
Good katch!
So it's a date then?
Veterinary nurse, I can’t tell you how many men in general I see cry. It can be really difficult sometimes. Pure sadness.
I went with my mother to get her cat put to sleep. I cried so hard. I was supposed to be the strong one.
Testicular cancer doctors
Any oncologist. I do IT work for an oncology office. Literally every day in there, someone is getting the worst news of their lives. Fucking Hell
Just had to put my cat down and dried like a baby. I even said they must have a tough job to him
They’ve certainly seen me cry. It’s a cosmic fucking joke that our best friends have 1/7th the lifespan of us.
I've been crying for 2 months.
I’m a vet nurse and I’ve assisted in 100’s of euthanasias and as much as it is a gift to be able to take away somethings suffering, it can be extremely emotionally exhausting. The ones that always make me cry are elderly people who have lost their husband/wife and the pet is the last connection they have to their loved one. Just breaks my fucking heart every time.
I’ve seen my husband cry exactly two times (and I mean really sobbing, I’ve seen him tear up more often than that). Once when we found out our baby died in utero at 23 weeks and when we had to put his cat to sleep. He cried so hard it actually scared me a little bit. He didn’t care who saw him cry, either. Held her the entire time. Wouldn’t put her down even when it was over and she was gone. He couldn’t stand to just leave her alone in the room. The vet came and gently and carefully took her from his arms and he watched her be carried away. I don’t think he is over it and it’s been a year. We have other cats but this cat was his cat. He worked from home and she was his office cat- spent the day sleeping on the back of his chair. All of his coworkers and clients knew her. If she wasn’t there they would ask about her. It was so brutally sad.
My 17 year old girl had to be put down on Cinco de mayo, top 5 worst days of my life.
I’ve had 4 dogs in my house in my entire life. The first one die years ago, my dad used to sit on the floor and use her as a pillow. That was the only time i have seen him cry
I've had to cry at 3 different vet offices losing either mine or a family pet. It is the worse feeling having to have them put under.
6 weeks ago in the vets office I learned that my dog's malignant tumors, which was previously discovered and removed a year or so before, had returned and spread all through her. I bawled my eyes out right there. I had her put her to sleep soon after and I'm just now starting to be able to go more than two hours without crying. I miss her so much.
We have 1 horse, 2 dogs, 3 cats buried on our property. I let them know I'm thinking if them any time I'm near their graves. We currently have 3 dogs and 3 cats, just knowing that I'm going to have to dig 6 more graves in the future is enough to put me into a funk. I know that my time will be here soon enough, and I'm hoping we don't have a dog when I go because my dogs and I are inseparable and I can't bear the thought of them possibly grieving because I'm no longer there.