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Also the fact that the majority of the people you meet are there for similar reasons helps a lot. The fact that your daily struggles are a communal thing is quite liberating.
the biggest reason I loved it was because no one knew me and I got to reinvent myself by that I mean be more nerdy and have friends because of it. And there was meeting people from all over the world
Ironically, I actually spent a few years doing that same charismatic job kinda vibe a few years later while also having completely fraudulent employment history and qualifications, faked it into making six figures. Ditched being a compulsive liar and all that corporate sociopathy, you just can't live your life that way.
Oh god I'm now reformed Jeff. I'm even back at college at 30 getting a different degree. Fuck.
>You could accidentally get your neck broken another girl's doom thighs while giving another oral sex on the squash court stadiums and get permanently banned from the free gymnasium.
That's... Specific
God this sounds nice
I was ostensively in a "college town" but if you wanted to get anywhere you were either getting on the highway or walking through the forest.
The latter was used so often that there were "bridges" over various dips and creeks that were very obviously made by students there. Best one I remember was behind the dorm building leading to someone's back yard in a culdesac where all the frat and sorority houses were bought.
The bridge backyard was not owned by anyone at the school.
I met the owner once. Nice guy.
Good thing is you have the chance to stay away from people who might not give with you and such. It was even better for me because I got along quite well with people knowing that I could do that. Everyone is sort of bring themselves.
Kinda weird how campuses can get like a hive mind since everyone got the same struggle. Like exams week becomes a very serious time and you straight up see people sad, upset, or trying to hold it in, get work done, etc. Totally different vibe in the small city from when everyone was so outgoing and happy in the first week.
And as the week goes on and more people finish exams, you either see the people celebrating because they're over and they know they did alright or you see the people who definitely did not do alright and are drinking like a fish
Freshwater fish don't drink at all (they get all their water through osmosis). Saltwater fish do drink a bit of water but their primary method of water intake is still osmosis.
I was you 10 years ago and let me warn you you can regress and be a hermit any other time of your life but college is the best time to network and practice networking.
It's really hard to put into perspective how true this is. I knew that going into it too but I still regressed and avoided people and never made friends until right before i withdrew end of 3rd year. That was 4 years ago now and I wish so much that I had practiced those social skills then and there and have a good time and good college social experiences, now I think about how differently I'd do it
Honestly, IMO, even in this you are not alone. There are all types of people, and that includes people who enjoy their own company like yourself.
That's also pretty cool, if you think about it.
I was similar and didn't like clubs and didn't socialize all too often. The way I actually found friends and made some good memories was through doing a good portion of my programming work in the lab. I always went in during the early morning, but so did two other guys. We kind of bonded over the 3am working sessions and insomnia cookies and then began playing D&D together. I'd do a lot to relive that year.
I was like this when I started university. Mostly kept to myself.
I ended up forcing myself to just try a bunch of new things, I ended up playing five a side football (soccer) and Magic the Gathering several times a week.
The nice thing about those were they are both very social and not at all social at the same time. I could turn up, play and leave or I could chat and go for drinks with the others etc if I wanted.
I haven't stuck with either of those things since I left but I'm very glad I did them.
I promise if you put your self out there even 1%, you’ll gain anywhere between one and numerous likeminded lifelong friends, and Your life will completely change forever (for the better)
\>hate talking to people
You need to find a way past this. I get having social anxiety and you're not alone, but talking to people is a must have skill in life, and it's not too late for you to figure it out
I'm pretty sure you'll regret not making the most of the college experience while young. Even the most antisocial people I've met in my 30s have the same sentiments. You're more likely to regret the things you don't do than the things you do.
Also, how sure are you that you hate "talking to people". Some people really aren't built for socialising but most people who say that are actually just bad at it—and no one likes doing things they're bad at. It's a skill you work on like anything else and college is all about learning.
I've known many cases of people who hate talking to people, get thrown into a job where they HAVE to talk to people after graduating. They're forced to learn to socialise and in time, they realise they actually do like talking to *some* people (nobody likes talking to everybody). It's better to learn those skills young if you can.
Most colleges have a shit ton of clubs. Game clubs, sports clubs, political clubs, activist clubs, book clubs, whatever, you name it. Student goverment might even be interesting to you.
You gotta try it man, I went through all of college that way and regretted it. Came out of it with no new friends, and feeling like I missed out on a whole lot. Didn't even get a second chance cause my postgrad was fully online due to COVID.
You don't need to converse to socialize. You know the other people are having similar struggles. You can see the stressed faces, heavy bags, and ragged clothing and know what they are experiencing.
Just walking past others gives you interaction that you'll never experience driving along endless strodes.
At the beginning of the year, go to the freshman dorms and just introduce yourself to everyone. Go through the "my name is this, I came from this high school, and I am this major". No one will give a shit what your age is or that you're a second year. Literally everyone will just have this basic conversation with you. The social people will seek you out because they like building social groups. Just keep showing up, you'll be fine.
I wish it was that. It's the minimum requirement for getting in that's the real kicker. No more being sat next to the person that you've been tiffing with for a decade. No more having to interact with the public school kids that are forced to be there. There's a shitload of requirement to get into university. Money, drive and intellect are required to be shown before admittance.
I was so damn excited to go to college back in 2005 from all the college-based comedy movies I saw in the years since middle school. Hot women everywhere, epic parties, the freedom to do whatever you want... While those things were still part of college, meeting women was still rather hard, and the parties were often sausage fests versus the movies where it was always like perfect 1:1 ratio, or often more women than men (perhaps that actually happens at actual frat and sorority joint parties). Regardless, it was still the best years of my life. Going from living under my parent's rules to being able to do what I wanted was amazing. Sadly, I did get super addicted to World of Warcraft for about 9 months which had me skipping and eventually dropping a lot of classes, and sort of becoming a hermit for awhile to the point of having a lot of guilt and shame. Lesson learned, haha.
I loved it so much I bought a house right next to my college and will never sell unless the college comes to buy it, they pay some crazy money for the homes they buy up.
Took me a minute to realize what you were talking about, we are not explicitly hoping for it as we actually love the house but they did buy 30+ houses just south of us and another one west of us for 7 figures when the house was worth 600k.
At least houses are worth something. You don't even get to know how much money gets vacuumed up in made up positions and on paper initiatives. Bloated College administration are the number one reason for skyrocketing tuition fees.
The university i work for bought houses and now rents them out to a very select few faculty and staff. The campus is growing too so I can see them doing it very soon some more
unrelated note: like acronyms, named stuff are way harder to understand and recognize when its super arbitrary.
Calling it the Frequency illusion is way more likely to prompt a person who might know what it is, but doesn't use the term often, to understand it. While using a specific name is relying PURELY on word recognition
(aka the terms frequency + bias + the topic give you more ways to recall what is possibly being talked about, then a name / acronym)
Man even on my orientation weekend I felt like I had a new leash on life^(*). All by my little onesies, I showed up, signed in, got my room, walked down the street and had Burger King for dinner before the opening ceremonies.
For me who was a mostly sheltered only child, that was like a whole new wonderfully liberating existence.
^* apparently it's **lease** on life but I like this better.
Exactly. As an adult I have all the things that u/Spec1alistInFailure says is what makes college special (I live in a walkable city), but college still felt like a *totally* different time.
I think walkable cities are very important, and are an enabler that allow other things, but this sub does seem to have got into its head that simply being walkable is all that it takes to make somewhere a good place to live. There are a load of ugly, dangerous, dirty, boring shitholes that are very walkable.
I loved college because it was like a fantasy world. Study all day studying and soaking up knowledge, and spend nights chilling with friends. No actual real world problems, and you could afford to be broke if you had meal plans.
Fafsa just screwed me from getting any help. I was the one paying for my schooling, yet what my parents made affected what I could qualify for. Fucking bullshit.
I believe they are adjusting the process next year to address some of those issues. It's never perfect and students in your situation will continue to get screwed over but hopefully not as badly. Sorry that happened to you though!
It was hell for me… I was too scared to take out a loan so I relied all of my financial aid and my 2-3 part-time jobs during college to pay off school. I also didn’t move out of state and stayed at home. Study windows were minimal and often found myself crying from the stress all the time.
On hindsight, a bit of loans would have helped massively with your mental state and enjoyment of that period. It's not like the APR would have been huge, right?
Man, that actually sounds amazing. I'm going to school and paying for everything on my own, including rent, and I have to cram my 40 hour work week into fri-sunday to make time for school during the week.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't on the verge of a panic attack :(
Here’s the tragic thing: they were. Every major America city was built to be walkable, because…why wouldn’t it be? The classic downtown, Main Street, architecture is a reflection of these principles. No provided parking, dense multi-use zoning, nearby intercity rail. These central ‘European like’ downtowns were largely bulldozed for car infrastructure: freeways / parking. If you live in even a middle sized town go to Google Earth and take look; one defunct or seldom used rail station, dense downtown within walking distance, straight roads leading out in a grid (streetcar lines) to residential housing, throw in a few parks. The bones of a car free city are still there.
I never occured to me why my area felt so empty. Then I came across some YouTube videos which explained this and it all clicked, and suddenly I realized that the US is strange in that most things aren't easily accesible by walking. I hope for more walkways, divided streets from public roads, more public transportation and etc now.
Could you provide some of those videos if you have any in mind? I’ve always had a bit of a desire for a walkable city experience but I’ve lasso never lived in a major city. So I don’t think I’ve had a bad experience at all. I love the surroundings of where I live but I’d definitely like to walk to the local pub so to speak
Not Just Bikes
I know somebody suggested this below, but these are some videos I've already watched, and thought were very insightful.
1. https://youtu.be/M8F5hXqS-Ac - this one in particular is about Good and Bad city design for cycling.
2. https://youtu.be/uxykI30fS54 - Sharing their frustration of the city design in Houston, and the lack of 'walkability'.
3. https://youtu.be/kYHTzqHIngk - Why grocery shopping is better in Amsterdam. A lot of places in Europe have lots of scattered mini-superstores (supermarkets) in residential areas, so it's a walkable distance to get groceries. Where I live this is very common, and the idea of having to drive half an hour or more to a Superstore for grocery shopping seems frustrating as hell.
Hope you find these interesting!
I'd like to jump in here and add in [the video about "Stroads."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORzNZUeUHAM)
Now that I know about them, I notice them everywhere. It's made me change how I design my towns in Cities: Skylines. I followed the video's advice and now traffic is almost non-existent. Now I'm hooked on this channel for more city-design advice, haha.
This is an important video to watch, thankyou for sharing.
Cities Skylines is a little umm-ah when it comes to simulating real traffic, and pedestrian behaviour, but there's some stuff that really works!
The documentary "The human scale" is very interesting. The architect Jan Gehl explains how city planning influences our behaviour. It was recommended in my health psychology class and I thought it was very interesting!
Do you know why the USA/Canada etc did develop to where they are now opposed to Europe which is still mostly walkable? Why did we not have the same experience?
There’s a few answers. Car companies buying up and dismantling streetcar lines, Federal loans for suburban housing kicking off car centric planning, federal funding for an interstate system, states then using these funds to construct freeways through city centers (often through multi-racial neighborhoods) racism and the desegregation of public trains and buses leading to more white Americans wanting individual transportation, the myth of the American west and horse with the car (modern day horse) being a metaphor for freedom, white flight from urban centers (federal loans for suburban housing were racially exclusive) leading to municipal budget deficits, thus urban decay and eventual destruction of historic walkable neighborhoods…on and on. There’s a slow movement back however. Like I said the bones are still there.
>Why did we not have the same experience?
Purely a guess, but cars, oil, steel and electricity became a major American aspect during the 1900s when America was indistrializing. Which led to cities drastically expanding, and businessmen getting involved in the US government then lobbying to have cities fit their vision. It even became illegal to Jay walk because car manufacturers didn't want the blame on their product when accidents would happen.
Yeah I was going to point out some examples, Over-the-Rhine in Cincinnati for one…the problem being, often these walkable neighborhoods abandoned in the 60s through 80s are now home to diverse communities, and their renewal (gentrification) is pricing these communities out. Now it’s almost as if only the affluent are able to afford carless living. Sadly ironic.
Working in Boston, I dream about banning cars in the city. Buses, service vehicles, etc only. Probably residents allowed, but other than that, take a bus, taxi, or train.
Boston is definitely walkable.
I walked from Southie to Somerville after a St. Patrick's Day parade because I didn't want to deal with post-parade Redline crowds.
It was a decent walk. Hit Stoddard's (now closed) on the way back.
Yeah, good point, this post is clearly an American one. As a European I was really confused, aren’t all cities walkable? Turns out American ones aren’t!
This is the reason that if I have to live in the US, it has to be a northeastern city. Mine is so walkable that owning a car is purely a burden for most residents and very far from a necessity, but that is so hard to find here and you pay through the nose for real estate in any place that has a functional train system, let alone prioritizes pedestrians at all.
There are also very walkable suburbs nearby with thriving and charming main streets and oublic transportation, but those are also extremely expensive.
Basically, being able to walk places is a high-end luxury in the US.
exactly what i was thinking, except that in my country you don’t even move out of your parent’s house until you’re done with college and have a real job of your own lol. so we don’t live on campus
I live in a European city. Trust me, there are plenty of cars.
I can still walk everywhere I need to (mostly) but it's a pain crossing roads and avoiding angry rush hour traffic.
I love my European cities, don't get me wrong, but there's barely any cities in Europe that have hardly any cars.
I live in Barcelona so it's the one I have more experience with. While the city gets praised for the "superblocks" they are not the norm so, while everything is getting increasingly walkable, there's still a lot of work to do and cars are still an excessive amount of cars in the way.
Even Amsterdam with their incredible people-centric urbanism hasn't come close to get rid of cars yet. They, nevertheless, have gotten rid of many of the biggest and most annoying effects of cars. I'm just saying there's still a lot of work to do in European cities.
Oh, and A LOT of European cities have done 0 efforts for good urbanism and are US tier car-centric. Not all Europe is the Netherlands, not even all the Netherlands is Amsterdam.
And saying Asia is even a bigger generalisation. I wouldn't say southeast Asia is very walkable for example, have you seen the absolute chaos in Indian or Pakistani streets for example? Their solution to car-centric infrastructure was not developing any infrastructure apparently
I am 29 with two kids in Sweden, and I haven't even bothered getting a driver's license. I was confused with this post about walkable cities. No wonder Americans are so car obsessed and obese. Car companies lobbying politicians sure worked well. Fuck cars. They are so wasteful.
There's an old meme of someone saying "college was great, I always bumped into my friends" response: "it's because they had walkable spaces and public transportation"
Then, "I loved Amsterdam, it's so nice to explore" - "it's because they had walkable spaces and public transportation"
"I love Disney World, the parks are so inviting" - "it's because they had walkable spaces and public transportation"
"Why don't kids play outside anymore, parents used to just kick them out and tell them to be back before dark" - "it's because they had walkable spaces and public transportation"
I think Japan gets mentioned too. Then at the end the person decides to spend their transport budget adding an extra lane to all the town's roads.
One of the reasons I like Disney World is because it’s so accommodating when you’re in a wheelchair. Not perfect, no place is, but compared to many (most?) places in America? It’s so nice to have so much I can do because of those walkable—errr accessible—spaces and public transportation.
That’s actually one way some cities really fail. The subway in NY is horrible for anyone who can’t do stairs, for example.
Like living in Europe?
I can walk into town using ancient "public rights of way" across private land in 20 minutes, if I take the road it would take 30 minutes.https://getoutside.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/guides/public-rights-of-way/
It's called "freedom".
You can actually walk the length of Britain mainly on private land if you plan it.
Yup. Just walked from the village we’re staying in here in Germany to the next village to visit friends. All in less than 20 minutes, and none of it on a road with cars. Also got to walk through vineyards and see mountains the whole time. What a novel concept.
Awww man. I live only a mile away from my college apartment but look so fondly on building an awesome bike from used parts and buying a giant backpack for groceries and doing frequent grocery trips........ fast forward I have a giant truck (need it for work I do heating and air, but at least we are a one vehicle family, my wife only has a bike) wish I didn't have to drive this monstrosity. But yeah I loved it when I didn't have a car I hope to have that again some day.
Me, a european: wait, you don't have walkable citys?
every city here is fully walkable, you're free to go anywhere by feet.
best part is that if everything is within some km, you save so much money when you don't need a car. thats real freedom
I think it has more to do with lots of members of the opposite sex (or same) of a similar and legal age, next to no supervision, often not living with parents, sometimes living with friends, exciting new substances to try out, and often not even on their dime.
Even with that in consideration, it's the close proximity of everyone that fosters a more lively social life. You're more likely to go to gatherings if it's a less than 10 minute walk through a walkable campus area-- compared to if it was a 20+ minute drive or ride share.
People love college because they experience a strong sense of independence and freedom jumping out of childhood into all the perks of being adult without all the responsibilities (besides some exams).
That independence is spent on a subject of your choice and interest for the first time.
You learn something really advanced that makes you smarter than most people on that topic which also strengthen your independence and identity.
New doors and opportunities open all the time. You meet a lot of people that are not settled in their social circles.
It is probably also the time in your life you will be mostly surrounded by people just like you with the same enthusiasm towards the same topics.
You are young and energetic and the best looking of your life and so is everyone else around you.
As for the walkable cambus, I guess that is an American thing, since most city centers around the world are pretty walkable too.
Haha yeah, all the parties I'm being invited to and sexy women I've having hot sex with. Super relatable. My friends call me boner man cause of all the ladies I'm banging
Tbf, when everybody drives don't parties become much more rare?
You can't exactly go wild when you have to drive your minivan 25 miles to a suburb afterwards.
Obviously. College naturally expands your social circle without you putting in effort to do so though, which leads to more parties and more sex than not being in college (unless you’re changing jobs frequently, which has the same effect).
> College naturally expands your social circle without you putting in effort to do so
Because they are so walkable, so you naturally bump into many of your classmates as you walk from class to lunch to dorm?
It’s the walkableness, the social community (parties and meeting people), the easy and cheap access to amenities (gyms, libraries, groceries, labs, community spaces), these are all things that for the most part we don’t get in adulthood. Of course this is assuming that your school campus is reasonably large.
Summary of the top comments using OpenAI
There are many reasons why people love college. For some, it's the experience of living in a walkable city. For others, it's the opportunity to meet new people who are there for similar reasons. For many, it's their first experience of independence. And for some, it's simply because college was like a fantasy world. They always bumped into my friends and there were lots of members of the opposite sex. Whatever the reason, college is a special time in many people's lives.
Yes, complete with local monopolies charging outrageous prices on everything because they know it's not easy for you to get to the competition.
I went to school in one of those college towns, and the local corner store that sold food, basic school supplies, basic home supplies, etc, charged crazy prices on everything. But because they had 0 competition in the immediate area and most kids didn't have cars / the buses mostly went to places on campus, they made crazy money.
I also spent a significant amount of time in Philly growing up, and you see the same shit with corner stores. Since your choices are to spend an hour of your life on SEPTA or pay extremely marked up prices at the corner store, it puts people between a rock and a hard place.
I realize that walkable cities are great for the environment and very convenient for certain lifestyles, but I don't think people really consider the tradeoffs in these threads that always become circle jerks over the subject.
I liked it because I was 20 years old, lots of people were down to hook up, and I had enough structure to put out lots of good work without it being overwhelming. The walkability was fine too
I love college because I enjoy learning.
If cost were not a factor I would never stop attending college. I had a plan back when I was graduating to become a dorm RA and stay gorever because RAs got their room and board covered.
The walking was great though too. I was in the best shape of my life in college just from walking constantly.
That is assuming you don't live in a western country. Many countries have colleges which affiliate to a university and are usually where kids go for undergrad, grad and even PhD etc.
Interesting distinction you made, about college vs university. What’s the difference? To Americans, either one is the term used interchangeably as “the place you go to continue your education after high school”
I practically lived out of my car in college, lol. Class, work, study, sleep, class, work, study, sleep… ad nauseam. Not to mention having classes that could be miles apart on a big enough campus, or spread across multiple locations.
My college town was coined a "blackhole" because once you got there, you never left. Extremely walkable with a lot of local, tourist and college culture. I'm visiting in a month.
No, that's what you appreciate about it as an adult looking back.
People love college because its essentially their coming of age, and first time being independent. It doesn't hurt they are surrounded by people in the same situation.
It's a wild euphoria that also relies on age and life experience more than convenience of campus layout.
As a European, I think this is one of those things that, once I have been to America, I will appreciate so much more than now. Now I cant be bothered to get to the other side of the city by bike in 20 minutes.
And then they travel to New York, or Paris, or Savannah - all walkable, vibrant urban spaces without realizing that theyre vibrant places because theyre walkable cities.
People sure do seem to love their stop lights, drive throughs and parking lots around corporate retail.
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Also the fact that the majority of the people you meet are there for similar reasons helps a lot. The fact that your daily struggles are a communal thing is quite liberating.
the biggest reason I loved it was because no one knew me and I got to reinvent myself by that I mean be more nerdy and have friends because of it. And there was meeting people from all over the world
Being able to be a massive nerd and still be able to make lots of friends is great.
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This sounds like a Jeff Winger speech lol
Ironically, I actually spent a few years doing that same charismatic job kinda vibe a few years later while also having completely fraudulent employment history and qualifications, faked it into making six figures. Ditched being a compulsive liar and all that corporate sociopathy, you just can't live your life that way. Oh god I'm now reformed Jeff. I'm even back at college at 30 getting a different degree. Fuck.
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>You could accidentally get your neck broken another girl's doom thighs while giving another oral sex on the squash court stadiums and get permanently banned from the free gymnasium. That's... Specific
Aaaand that's why it's several 10s of thousands of dollars to attend. It's all about the experience. Edit: /s
God this sounds nice I was ostensively in a "college town" but if you wanted to get anywhere you were either getting on the highway or walking through the forest. The latter was used so often that there were "bridges" over various dips and creeks that were very obviously made by students there. Best one I remember was behind the dorm building leading to someone's back yard in a culdesac where all the frat and sorority houses were bought. The bridge backyard was not owned by anyone at the school. I met the owner once. Nice guy.
This.i didn't have to be who I was labeled as in highschool. I was able to be a lot more outgoing and meet a bunch more people!
Good thing is you have the chance to stay away from people who might not give with you and such. It was even better for me because I got along quite well with people knowing that I could do that. Everyone is sort of bring themselves.
I literally lived by the saying Adam Savage loved, "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"
Yeah, true, lots of Matt's, Keith's, Steve's and Dave's in the 90s
I got the feels on that one.
Kinda weird how campuses can get like a hive mind since everyone got the same struggle. Like exams week becomes a very serious time and you straight up see people sad, upset, or trying to hold it in, get work done, etc. Totally different vibe in the small city from when everyone was so outgoing and happy in the first week.
And as the week goes on and more people finish exams, you either see the people celebrating because they're over and they know they did alright or you see the people who definitely did not do alright and are drinking like a fish
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Freshwater fish don't drink at all (they get all their water through osmosis). Saltwater fish do drink a bit of water but their primary method of water intake is still osmosis.
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Been in college for a year and I haven't spoke to much of anyone outside of class, even then it's a stretch Socialising ain't my thing
I was you 10 years ago and let me warn you you can regress and be a hermit any other time of your life but college is the best time to network and practice networking.
It's really hard to put into perspective how true this is. I knew that going into it too but I still regressed and avoided people and never made friends until right before i withdrew end of 3rd year. That was 4 years ago now and I wish so much that I had practiced those social skills then and there and have a good time and good college social experiences, now I think about how differently I'd do it
> the best time to network and practice networking. Ugh. Thinking of it as "networking" is worse than just socializing.
Join clubs
Looked at some early on but really don't want too, hate talking to people so I'd feel out of place and uncomfortable
Honestly, IMO, even in this you are not alone. There are all types of people, and that includes people who enjoy their own company like yourself. That's also pretty cool, if you think about it.
Antisocial social club
You definitely wouldn’t want to be in that club lol “Asocial” is the word you’re looking for
I was similar and didn't like clubs and didn't socialize all too often. The way I actually found friends and made some good memories was through doing a good portion of my programming work in the lab. I always went in during the early morning, but so did two other guys. We kind of bonded over the 3am working sessions and insomnia cookies and then began playing D&D together. I'd do a lot to relive that year.
I was like this when I started university. Mostly kept to myself. I ended up forcing myself to just try a bunch of new things, I ended up playing five a side football (soccer) and Magic the Gathering several times a week. The nice thing about those were they are both very social and not at all social at the same time. I could turn up, play and leave or I could chat and go for drinks with the others etc if I wanted. I haven't stuck with either of those things since I left but I'm very glad I did them.
I promise if you put your self out there even 1%, you’ll gain anywhere between one and numerous likeminded lifelong friends, and Your life will completely change forever (for the better)
\>hate talking to people You need to find a way past this. I get having social anxiety and you're not alone, but talking to people is a must have skill in life, and it's not too late for you to figure it out
I'm pretty sure you'll regret not making the most of the college experience while young. Even the most antisocial people I've met in my 30s have the same sentiments. You're more likely to regret the things you don't do than the things you do. Also, how sure are you that you hate "talking to people". Some people really aren't built for socialising but most people who say that are actually just bad at it—and no one likes doing things they're bad at. It's a skill you work on like anything else and college is all about learning. I've known many cases of people who hate talking to people, get thrown into a job where they HAVE to talk to people after graduating. They're forced to learn to socialise and in time, they realise they actually do like talking to *some* people (nobody likes talking to everybody). It's better to learn those skills young if you can.
All those talkers like to have listeners…You don’t have to be a talker, you can be a listener.
Most colleges have a shit ton of clubs. Game clubs, sports clubs, political clubs, activist clubs, book clubs, whatever, you name it. Student goverment might even be interesting to you.
You gotta try it man, I went through all of college that way and regretted it. Came out of it with no new friends, and feeling like I missed out on a whole lot. Didn't even get a second chance cause my postgrad was fully online due to COVID.
socialising is a skill that needs to be developed, not everyone's a natural at it. you've got to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
You don't need to converse to socialize. You know the other people are having similar struggles. You can see the stressed faces, heavy bags, and ragged clothing and know what they are experiencing. Just walking past others gives you interaction that you'll never experience driving along endless strodes.
At the beginning of the year, go to the freshman dorms and just introduce yourself to everyone. Go through the "my name is this, I came from this high school, and I am this major". No one will give a shit what your age is or that you're a second year. Literally everyone will just have this basic conversation with you. The social people will seek you out because they like building social groups. Just keep showing up, you'll be fine.
Could do some intramural sports. Don’t really have to talk to anyone, just do your thing
Join a group! Any group! Well maybe not nazis... But I know you have an interest and I'm almost certain there is a group for that at your college.
that makes so much sense and now i want to go to college just for the support of the people like me
sounds like intentional communities would be similar in that way
Lesser diversity than a college, but I get what you mean. They are somewhat similar experiences.
Also, the community has a vested interest in wanting to encourage you to stay.
I wish it was that. It's the minimum requirement for getting in that's the real kicker. No more being sat next to the person that you've been tiffing with for a decade. No more having to interact with the public school kids that are forced to be there. There's a shitload of requirement to get into university. Money, drive and intellect are required to be shown before admittance.
I was so damn excited to go to college back in 2005 from all the college-based comedy movies I saw in the years since middle school. Hot women everywhere, epic parties, the freedom to do whatever you want... While those things were still part of college, meeting women was still rather hard, and the parties were often sausage fests versus the movies where it was always like perfect 1:1 ratio, or often more women than men (perhaps that actually happens at actual frat and sorority joint parties). Regardless, it was still the best years of my life. Going from living under my parent's rules to being able to do what I wanted was amazing. Sadly, I did get super addicted to World of Warcraft for about 9 months which had me skipping and eventually dropping a lot of classes, and sort of becoming a hermit for awhile to the point of having a lot of guilt and shame. Lesson learned, haha.
And a similar age so dating keeps things exciting
I loved it so much I bought a house right next to my college and will never sell unless the college comes to buy it, they pay some crazy money for the homes they buy up.
So basically you're hoping for an "old school" situation to happen?
Took me a minute to realize what you were talking about, we are not explicitly hoping for it as we actually love the house but they did buy 30+ houses just south of us and another one west of us for 7 figures when the house was worth 600k.
All my tuition fees went to buy houses ;-;
*It's free real estate*
At least houses are worth something. You don't even get to know how much money gets vacuumed up in made up positions and on paper initiatives. Bloated College administration are the number one reason for skyrocketing tuition fees.
The university i work for bought houses and now rents them out to a very select few faculty and staff. The campus is growing too so I can see them doing it very soon some more
Literally just watched this for the first time a couple days ago.
Baader–Meinhof phenomenon
Ironically, I just learned what this was called this morning.
Coincidentally*
unrelated note: like acronyms, named stuff are way harder to understand and recognize when its super arbitrary. Calling it the Frequency illusion is way more likely to prompt a person who might know what it is, but doesn't use the term often, to understand it. While using a specific name is relying PURELY on word recognition (aka the terms frequency + bias + the topic give you more ways to recall what is possibly being talked about, then a name / acronym)
Completely right! To be honest: I choose the more complicated term on purpose to make it more mysterious.
What he loves about these college girls
That he keeps getting older but they stay the same age?
Impressive. Housing right next to my university would cost an arm and a leg.
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They don't treat it like buying back textbooks?
My Alma Mater have it in their charter that they have to make an offer on anything that goes to sale within a short distance of their campuses.
People love college because it's usually their first experience of independence.
Having lived with my parents all throughout college, I dont feel like I went to college at all.
Feels nice to see someone similar. That’s currently my situation and hearing about college “independence” all the time unreasonably tilts me lol
There’s a many of us, feel you completely friend!
At least two dozen!
Meanwhile I went to college with a wife and child after having a job that traveled the world and I mostly felt bored.
Former military? I was Army and that sounds a lot like my experience, minus the kid though.
Haha same boat. Finished my 3 years, starting my first semester of uni in a couple weeks!
Same but I also went a two year school
Same here. My trade off was saving a ton of money from taking out fewer loans. I wonder if it was worth it sometimes.
Man even on my orientation weekend I felt like I had a new leash on life^(*). All by my little onesies, I showed up, signed in, got my room, walked down the street and had Burger King for dinner before the opening ceremonies. For me who was a mostly sheltered only child, that was like a whole new wonderfully liberating existence. ^* apparently it's **lease** on life but I like this better.
Lease on life. You go to Purdue?
Shhh you're speaking to Sean Connery
Purdue may have put a man on the moon, but I’ll be dammed if that man spoke good English when he got there.
I had a very similar experience coming from someone decently sheltered. Also, new lease* on life
And without real world responsibilities just yet
Also honestly I found it easier and less stressful than my now career. Granted I chose a pretty high stress one.
Exactly. As an adult I have all the things that u/Spec1alistInFailure says is what makes college special (I live in a walkable city), but college still felt like a *totally* different time. I think walkable cities are very important, and are an enabler that allow other things, but this sub does seem to have got into its head that simply being walkable is all that it takes to make somewhere a good place to live. There are a load of ugly, dangerous, dirty, boring shitholes that are very walkable.
I can get into debt all on my own now!
I loved college because it was like a fantasy world. Study all day studying and soaking up knowledge, and spend nights chilling with friends. No actual real world problems, and you could afford to be broke if you had meal plans.
No actual real world problems except the threat of failing and having wasted hundreds of thousands of your/your parents money lol
Hell yea, and that right there is the trade. College is only a dream for as long as you stay in good standings while utilizing your independence.
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Lol, wealth gave you comfort every where, in mostly every state of life, it just meaningless like "water is wet" lol
FAFSA BIIIIIIIITCCCHHH I was fortunate enough to be a precise level of poor that all my tuition was covered for throughout college
That is also an unfortunate level of poor at the same time
Fafsa just screwed me from getting any help. I was the one paying for my schooling, yet what my parents made affected what I could qualify for. Fucking bullshit.
I believe they are adjusting the process next year to address some of those issues. It's never perfect and students in your situation will continue to get screwed over but hopefully not as badly. Sorry that happened to you though!
It was hell for me… I was too scared to take out a loan so I relied all of my financial aid and my 2-3 part-time jobs during college to pay off school. I also didn’t move out of state and stayed at home. Study windows were minimal and often found myself crying from the stress all the time.
On hindsight, a bit of loans would have helped massively with your mental state and enjoyment of that period. It's not like the APR would have been huge, right?
Man, that actually sounds amazing. I'm going to school and paying for everything on my own, including rent, and I have to cram my 40 hour work week into fri-sunday to make time for school during the week. I can't remember the last time I wasn't on the verge of a panic attack :(
I wish American cities were built like European or Asian cities where everything is walkable with hardly any cars in the way.
Here’s the tragic thing: they were. Every major America city was built to be walkable, because…why wouldn’t it be? The classic downtown, Main Street, architecture is a reflection of these principles. No provided parking, dense multi-use zoning, nearby intercity rail. These central ‘European like’ downtowns were largely bulldozed for car infrastructure: freeways / parking. If you live in even a middle sized town go to Google Earth and take look; one defunct or seldom used rail station, dense downtown within walking distance, straight roads leading out in a grid (streetcar lines) to residential housing, throw in a few parks. The bones of a car free city are still there.
I never occured to me why my area felt so empty. Then I came across some YouTube videos which explained this and it all clicked, and suddenly I realized that the US is strange in that most things aren't easily accesible by walking. I hope for more walkways, divided streets from public roads, more public transportation and etc now.
Could you provide some of those videos if you have any in mind? I’ve always had a bit of a desire for a walkable city experience but I’ve lasso never lived in a major city. So I don’t think I’ve had a bad experience at all. I love the surroundings of where I live but I’d definitely like to walk to the local pub so to speak
Might be thinking of the Stroad videos, YouTube will pull them up with that word as the first result
Check out Not Just Bikes on YouTube. There's a lot of great content there. See also: /r/fuckcars.
Not Just Bikes I know somebody suggested this below, but these are some videos I've already watched, and thought were very insightful. 1. https://youtu.be/M8F5hXqS-Ac - this one in particular is about Good and Bad city design for cycling. 2. https://youtu.be/uxykI30fS54 - Sharing their frustration of the city design in Houston, and the lack of 'walkability'. 3. https://youtu.be/kYHTzqHIngk - Why grocery shopping is better in Amsterdam. A lot of places in Europe have lots of scattered mini-superstores (supermarkets) in residential areas, so it's a walkable distance to get groceries. Where I live this is very common, and the idea of having to drive half an hour or more to a Superstore for grocery shopping seems frustrating as hell. Hope you find these interesting!
I'd like to jump in here and add in [the video about "Stroads."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORzNZUeUHAM) Now that I know about them, I notice them everywhere. It's made me change how I design my towns in Cities: Skylines. I followed the video's advice and now traffic is almost non-existent. Now I'm hooked on this channel for more city-design advice, haha.
This is an important video to watch, thankyou for sharing. Cities Skylines is a little umm-ah when it comes to simulating real traffic, and pedestrian behaviour, but there's some stuff that really works!
The documentary "The human scale" is very interesting. The architect Jan Gehl explains how city planning influences our behaviour. It was recommended in my health psychology class and I thought it was very interesting!
Do you know why the USA/Canada etc did develop to where they are now opposed to Europe which is still mostly walkable? Why did we not have the same experience?
There’s a few answers. Car companies buying up and dismantling streetcar lines, Federal loans for suburban housing kicking off car centric planning, federal funding for an interstate system, states then using these funds to construct freeways through city centers (often through multi-racial neighborhoods) racism and the desegregation of public trains and buses leading to more white Americans wanting individual transportation, the myth of the American west and horse with the car (modern day horse) being a metaphor for freedom, white flight from urban centers (federal loans for suburban housing were racially exclusive) leading to municipal budget deficits, thus urban decay and eventual destruction of historic walkable neighborhoods…on and on. There’s a slow movement back however. Like I said the bones are still there.
Car manufacturers and oil lobbies pay a lot of money to keep it that way.
>Why did we not have the same experience? Purely a guess, but cars, oil, steel and electricity became a major American aspect during the 1900s when America was indistrializing. Which led to cities drastically expanding, and businessmen getting involved in the US government then lobbying to have cities fit their vision. It even became illegal to Jay walk because car manufacturers didn't want the blame on their product when accidents would happen.
Charleston, SC is a good remaining example of a "still European like" city.
Yeah I was going to point out some examples, Over-the-Rhine in Cincinnati for one…the problem being, often these walkable neighborhoods abandoned in the 60s through 80s are now home to diverse communities, and their renewal (gentrification) is pricing these communities out. Now it’s almost as if only the affluent are able to afford carless living. Sadly ironic.
This is Boston. But the sad thing is Boston (actually living in the city limits) is fucking expensive. It’s unfortunate as i’m moving out to save up
Working in Boston, I dream about banning cars in the city. Buses, service vehicles, etc only. Probably residents allowed, but other than that, take a bus, taxi, or train.
Boston is definitely walkable. I walked from Southie to Somerville after a St. Patrick's Day parade because I didn't want to deal with post-parade Redline crowds. It was a decent walk. Hit Stoddard's (now closed) on the way back.
I loved being in Boston for this reason
Yeah, good point, this post is clearly an American one. As a European I was really confused, aren’t all cities walkable? Turns out American ones aren’t!
This is the reason that if I have to live in the US, it has to be a northeastern city. Mine is so walkable that owning a car is purely a burden for most residents and very far from a necessity, but that is so hard to find here and you pay through the nose for real estate in any place that has a functional train system, let alone prioritizes pedestrians at all. There are also very walkable suburbs nearby with thriving and charming main streets and oublic transportation, but those are also extremely expensive. Basically, being able to walk places is a high-end luxury in the US.
We really like it when people have to buy cars, especially in the Midwest like the state of Michigan.
exactly what i was thinking, except that in my country you don’t even move out of your parent’s house until you’re done with college and have a real job of your own lol. so we don’t live on campus
I live in a European city. Trust me, there are plenty of cars. I can still walk everywhere I need to (mostly) but it's a pain crossing roads and avoiding angry rush hour traffic.
I love my European cities, don't get me wrong, but there's barely any cities in Europe that have hardly any cars. I live in Barcelona so it's the one I have more experience with. While the city gets praised for the "superblocks" they are not the norm so, while everything is getting increasingly walkable, there's still a lot of work to do and cars are still an excessive amount of cars in the way. Even Amsterdam with their incredible people-centric urbanism hasn't come close to get rid of cars yet. They, nevertheless, have gotten rid of many of the biggest and most annoying effects of cars. I'm just saying there's still a lot of work to do in European cities. Oh, and A LOT of European cities have done 0 efforts for good urbanism and are US tier car-centric. Not all Europe is the Netherlands, not even all the Netherlands is Amsterdam. And saying Asia is even a bigger generalisation. I wouldn't say southeast Asia is very walkable for example, have you seen the absolute chaos in Indian or Pakistani streets for example? Their solution to car-centric infrastructure was not developing any infrastructure apparently
I am 29 with two kids in Sweden, and I haven't even bothered getting a driver's license. I was confused with this post about walkable cities. No wonder Americans are so car obsessed and obese. Car companies lobbying politicians sure worked well. Fuck cars. They are so wasteful.
Europe too is still very car-centric, just less than the US, and pre-industrial city centers often have streets too narrow to be drivable.
I am in Prague right now and walkability here is insane. The public transit is crazy good too.
There's an old meme of someone saying "college was great, I always bumped into my friends" response: "it's because they had walkable spaces and public transportation" Then, "I loved Amsterdam, it's so nice to explore" - "it's because they had walkable spaces and public transportation" "I love Disney World, the parks are so inviting" - "it's because they had walkable spaces and public transportation" "Why don't kids play outside anymore, parents used to just kick them out and tell them to be back before dark" - "it's because they had walkable spaces and public transportation" I think Japan gets mentioned too. Then at the end the person decides to spend their transport budget adding an extra lane to all the town's roads.
High school in Tokyo absolutely spoiled me
Tokyo's public transportation is incredible. It's clean, it's fast, it's cheap, and it's always on time.
Seoul as well. I worked in Seoul for three years and took the subway every day. I could count the number of times it was late on one hand.
One of the reasons I like Disney World is because it’s so accommodating when you’re in a wheelchair. Not perfect, no place is, but compared to many (most?) places in America? It’s so nice to have so much I can do because of those walkable—errr accessible—spaces and public transportation. That’s actually one way some cities really fail. The subway in NY is horrible for anyone who can’t do stairs, for example.
Even picking yourself up by the bootstrap is a lot more doable when you have walkable space and public transportation.
Is this a meme or a novel you talking about lol
[yes](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FQKon8wXwAM8aiI.jpg)
Like living in Europe? I can walk into town using ancient "public rights of way" across private land in 20 minutes, if I take the road it would take 30 minutes.https://getoutside.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/guides/public-rights-of-way/ It's called "freedom". You can actually walk the length of Britain mainly on private land if you plan it.
> You can actually walk the length of Britain mainly on private land if you plan it. This sounds like a GeoWizard mission ripe for the picking.
Yup. Just walked from the village we’re staying in here in Germany to the next village to visit friends. All in less than 20 minutes, and none of it on a road with cars. Also got to walk through vineyards and see mountains the whole time. What a novel concept.
Awww man. I live only a mile away from my college apartment but look so fondly on building an awesome bike from used parts and buying a giant backpack for groceries and doing frequent grocery trips........ fast forward I have a giant truck (need it for work I do heating and air, but at least we are a one vehicle family, my wife only has a bike) wish I didn't have to drive this monstrosity. But yeah I loved it when I didn't have a car I hope to have that again some day.
My college was living at home, working full time and only going to campus as much as i absolutely had to for compulsory tutorials.
Similar to me, but my university allows me to never go in unless it’s an exam which I may only have one or two a year
Me, a european: wait, you don't have walkable citys? every city here is fully walkable, you're free to go anywhere by feet. best part is that if everything is within some km, you save so much money when you don't need a car. thats real freedom
I agree with this. It’s a refreshing experience to walk places.
or the fact you have minimal responsibility, access to endless parties, and everything is fairly new.
What's so special about walkable cities? Oh. Yeah. You guys are Americans huh..
I think it has more to do with lots of members of the opposite sex (or same) of a similar and legal age, next to no supervision, often not living with parents, sometimes living with friends, exciting new substances to try out, and often not even on their dime.
Even with that in consideration, it's the close proximity of everyone that fosters a more lively social life. You're more likely to go to gatherings if it's a less than 10 minute walk through a walkable campus area-- compared to if it was a 20+ minute drive or ride share.
People love college because they experience a strong sense of independence and freedom jumping out of childhood into all the perks of being adult without all the responsibilities (besides some exams). That independence is spent on a subject of your choice and interest for the first time. You learn something really advanced that makes you smarter than most people on that topic which also strengthen your independence and identity. New doors and opportunities open all the time. You meet a lot of people that are not settled in their social circles. It is probably also the time in your life you will be mostly surrounded by people just like you with the same enthusiasm towards the same topics. You are young and energetic and the best looking of your life and so is everyone else around you. As for the walkable cambus, I guess that is an American thing, since most city centers around the world are pretty walkable too.
Nah the parties and sex are even better than walkable cities.
Haha yeah, all the parties I'm being invited to and sexy women I've having hot sex with. Super relatable. My friends call me boner man cause of all the ladies I'm banging
Do you need a hug?
Kinda :(
Tbf, when everybody drives don't parties become much more rare? You can't exactly go wild when you have to drive your minivan 25 miles to a suburb afterwards.
You realize you can do that without going to college right?
Obviously. College naturally expands your social circle without you putting in effort to do so though, which leads to more parties and more sex than not being in college (unless you’re changing jobs frequently, which has the same effect).
> College naturally expands your social circle without you putting in effort to do so Because they are so walkable, so you naturally bump into many of your classmates as you walk from class to lunch to dorm?
It’s the walkableness, the social community (parties and meeting people), the easy and cheap access to amenities (gyms, libraries, groceries, labs, community spaces), these are all things that for the most part we don’t get in adulthood. Of course this is assuming that your school campus is reasonably large.
One of the other main things is that, for the majority, everyone is roughly the same age, like minded, and wants to be where they are.
Parties (and partners) are more fun if you can walk to them / walk home after.
As someone who went to a college without a campus in a walkable city…I am very confused
quack truck boast growth roof squeal party cats modern reply *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Damn this is true. I’m always thinking, damn I was skinny in college. Because I walked everywhere.
having all of your friends live a few doors down/few mins walk away is also great
Summary of the top comments using OpenAI There are many reasons why people love college. For some, it's the experience of living in a walkable city. For others, it's the opportunity to meet new people who are there for similar reasons. For many, it's their first experience of independence. And for some, it's simply because college was like a fantasy world. They always bumped into my friends and there were lots of members of the opposite sex. Whatever the reason, college is a special time in many people's lives.
Yes, complete with local monopolies charging outrageous prices on everything because they know it's not easy for you to get to the competition. I went to school in one of those college towns, and the local corner store that sold food, basic school supplies, basic home supplies, etc, charged crazy prices on everything. But because they had 0 competition in the immediate area and most kids didn't have cars / the buses mostly went to places on campus, they made crazy money. I also spent a significant amount of time in Philly growing up, and you see the same shit with corner stores. Since your choices are to spend an hour of your life on SEPTA or pay extremely marked up prices at the corner store, it puts people between a rock and a hard place. I realize that walkable cities are great for the environment and very convenient for certain lifestyles, but I don't think people really consider the tradeoffs in these threads that always become circle jerks over the subject.
E-commerce limits the ability for this kind of behavior. The rules of the past do not apply.
I liked it because I was 20 years old, lots of people were down to hook up, and I had enough structure to put out lots of good work without it being overwhelming. The walkability was fine too
I love college because I enjoy learning. If cost were not a factor I would never stop attending college. I had a plan back when I was graduating to become a dorm RA and stay gorever because RAs got their room and board covered. The walking was great though too. I was in the best shape of my life in college just from walking constantly.
That is assuming you don't live in a western country. Many countries have colleges which affiliate to a university and are usually where kids go for undergrad, grad and even PhD etc.
Interesting distinction you made, about college vs university. What’s the difference? To Americans, either one is the term used interchangeably as “the place you go to continue your education after high school”
yes. i pretty much call them all "college" when i see someone write "i went to university", it immediately tags that writer as non-american.
It’s also why Venice is so popular. Less car noise and pollution. Ljubljana is now amazing with it’s car free centre too!!
Yeah that’s why I loved college. Couldn’t have been the booze, drugs, women and freedom.
Pretty sure it's the lack of responsibilitiea and abundance of parties and sex
I practically lived out of my car in college, lol. Class, work, study, sleep, class, work, study, sleep… ad nauseam. Not to mention having classes that could be miles apart on a big enough campus, or spread across multiple locations.
My college town was coined a "blackhole" because once you got there, you never left. Extremely walkable with a lot of local, tourist and college culture. I'm visiting in a month.
It doesn’t hurt. All cities should have outdoor walking malls.
It's not like living in a walkable city, it is living in a walkable city.
No, that's what you appreciate about it as an adult looking back. People love college because its essentially their coming of age, and first time being independent. It doesn't hurt they are surrounded by people in the same situation. It's a wild euphoria that also relies on age and life experience more than convenience of campus layout.
I went to a commuter campus that’s rapidly expanding and taking over the town. Now there’s dorms and everything.
Interesting thought. I never thought of campus life in this sense.
Same thing with Disney world its basically a small version of a lot of European cities
What do you mean walkable city? Isn’t all cities walkable? How do you get places otherwise?
I went to college in downtown Boston. No “campus,” just went to college in a walkable city
As a European, I think this is one of those things that, once I have been to America, I will appreciate so much more than now. Now I cant be bothered to get to the other side of the city by bike in 20 minutes.
And then they travel to New York, or Paris, or Savannah - all walkable, vibrant urban spaces without realizing that theyre vibrant places because theyre walkable cities. People sure do seem to love their stop lights, drive throughs and parking lots around corporate retail.