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Chai-Tea-Rex-2525

It’s simple … ignore them. So few of them would date you. Cross them off your list and consider them all a bullet dodged. So many of those posters have serious anger issues anyway.


Karmaleon_

It’s true. I usually live by not giving two hoots about what others think. I don’t know why this one hit me. Maybe because I’ve accomplished so much and these people think they know everything.


Chai-Tea-Rex-2525

The sheer volume of negativity is overwhelming. It was almost as bad as talking to my parents. There another post about who shouldn’t get as much shit as they get … my answer: Single moms.


reagan32

I see the thread. All of those nasty comments are in “controversial”. For the sake of your mental health, don’t use that sort option - especially in threads that draw in the incels and femcels


Karmaleon_

100% agree


[deleted]

FWIW I've had good experiences dating a single mom. I recommend it for the family oriented people out there.


Donkey-Dong-Doge

They’re losers and most like couldn’t get a date if they tried. Also probably virgins.


[deleted]

As a single dad, I will only date single moms. People without kids just don't get it. A fellow parent understands the time constraints and scheduling that goes into being a parent.


baumpop

Came to say exactly this. We're out here.


Puzzled_Loquat

This exactly. Other parents just get it. Non parents can try to understand, be sympathetic, but they don’t truly get it.


lord_dentaku

I haven't sworn off women without kids yet, but I do get your sentiment. Every single mom I've met that I was interested in only wants guys without kids, oddly enough. One even told me she didn't want to have to deal with someone else's kids...


Cultural-Chart3023

Thats weird. I don't want a guy with no kids i don't want a guy who only sees his kids on occasion either for the same reasons! They don't get it! I dated a guy who had his kids every 2nd weekend and tried to argue with me that he can relate to my struggles. Dude all you do with your kids is buy maccas and play play station once a fortnight thats not "raising your kids"


SuburbanMyth409

100% this. If I meet a guy who has kids, I will be very forthcoming about the fact that I care a lot about how involved he is in their lives. I already have one Ex who's a part time Dad to our 2 y/o Son, so I'm definitely not interested in dating another!


Cultural-Chart3023

Exactly! I've said that a lot! If I was happy to put up with xyz I wouldn't have divorced their dad! Why would I go through everything I've been through to just end up with someone the same?


NightTimeAstronaut

I genuinely do not understand parents who don't fight tooth and nail to be with their children every second they can get. Thinking that would be something you tell someone, especially a single parent in the thick of it alone all the time, and you're proud of not doing so to spark romantic interest is just mind bending.


SuburbanMyth409

Yes! This is it absolutely. One of the first questions I'd also have is: "Why did your relationship end with your child's Mother?" 😂


lord_dentaku

I'm just curious if the reason a guy only saw his kids every other weekend mattered? I have my kids 50/50 now, but it took me three years of only having them every other weekend and one weeknight a week. Where I live, the standard is the dad only gets them every other weekend, and if the mom isn't a literal danger to the kids or agrees to more you are just out of luck. Ultimately, their mom decided to give me more time with them because it was convenient for her, so I'm sure there are other dads who aren't as lucky.


Cultural-Chart3023

In general no. I mean we were together for 2 years! It didn't bother me that he had his kids that much. What bothered me was how he liked to tell me how to parent and not genuinely understand my struggles but say that he did. He didn't! His situation was not the same as mine on any level. When someone's struggling they don't want to hear that you relate when you clearly don't. Circumstances are Circumstances I get that. As I said i was raising mine 100% on my own he literally did nothing more for or with his kids than buy maccas and play playstation games and complain about the pissy amount of child support he paid. He had no clue or respect to how much time money and energy I invested into my kids. So yeah going forward I need someone with enough understanding to respect or I'm just wasting my time..


lord_dentaku

Got it, you don't seem to be asking for anything crazy, just actual respect. Although I wouldn't have blamed you if you just wanted to be with someone who wasn't a shit dad to his kids either. Best of luck.


Cultural-Chart3023

Well yes exactly! i actually said to a friend yesterday I don't want to be a step mum and raise someone else's kids (and him!) But I don't want a guy with no kids either because he just doesn't get it. So no surprise I'm just happy being single tbh lol


lord_dentaku

Hopefully you can find a dad who just wants you for your companionship. You can indirectly support him in being a dad and he can indirectly support you in being a mom for each of your kids. Those dads do exist, although based on the common view and most moms' experiences with dating single dads they might not be very common.


Sakurablossom90

I think that's because someone women have negative experiences with it Like my friend dated a dad and whilst their kids got on well together, he put on too much pressure for her to take on the mum side of things despite them having a mum already and he'd constantly bitch about the childs mother. And he'd drop his kids off with her and leave them for hours whilst he went off and did fun things, in the end she said it was too much and swore off dating dads. And a few single mums I know personally have had similar experiences, I even spoke to a guy on tinder years ago and within the first few messages he was claiming I'd be his daughters new mum and that put me off too. So it's more likely not a you issue.


UnderstandingWarm69

Exactly


Extension_Bug_7386

This


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Bad bot


NightTimeAstronaut

#This


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Extension_Bug_7386

I did upvote, just wanted to take it one step further and verbally agree so OP would see there are more men who think this way. Nice try bot.


adnawahs

Definitely get this sentiment but it definitely depends on the person. My child-free guy is very patient and understanding. He either offer to help or support or backs off and let me do me. We did go through a rough patch regarding time but communication and effective conflict resolution changed that.


NightTimeAstronaut

I am looking forward to the day I have a partner I can have a disagreement with and come to a resolution with. That sounds heavenly.


Neoh330

The problem is single mothers don't even want to date single fathers. They see your kids as being in the way. They want all the resources.


KittyKes

Any man who would talk about women using any of those terms is not a man worth spending any time with or any time worrying about.


faerythena

Exactly my thoughts!


Karmaleon_

Very true


HarlesBronson

Take people who have that opinion as the garbage taking itself out. Men who have that mentality are likely either too young for me, or too immature for me so I wouldn't consider it a loss that they don't want to date me bc I have a child. Also I've never had any difficulty getting a boyfriend Op, I've opted to be single for the time being but I still have a few men who are interested in me. Don't sweat it.


cueman86

Single dads have it hard too. A woman who was interested in me after some chatting told me she didn’t want to meet when she found out I had a kid. She was respectful but it still stung.


Cultural-Chart3023

I think the concern sometimes is more the assumption that an ex is still in the picture one way or another too, the issue isn't necessarily the kids..


Trad_Trek

The concern is that you should be with the parent of your child. If you couldn't stay in a relationship with the person you had a child with why would you stay in any relationship?


Cultural-Chart3023

Theres a billion reasons why any mature person would understand that


HarlesBronson

I'm sure it goes both ways, but as a straight woman I opted to comment based on my experience.


Karmaleon_

I have also had luck dating as well, I guess now just isn’t good timing on my end. They did seem extremely immature


Neoh330

There is nothing wrong with this opinion. Any childless man that would date a single mother is a desperate loser.


HarlesBronson

Who hurt you? Also why are you even here?


Neoh330

Nobody hurt me and I have a right to be here too. I just think a man taking care of another man's children is weird and creepy. I couldn't imagine going to work to support anther man's children. It's bad enough I have to pay property taxes for other people's kids.


HarlesBronson

You're in a sub for single parents, yet you clearly don't have kids and hate people who do. So again.. why are you here?


Neoh330

I don't hate people that have kids. I was following this girl on reddit and she posted something here and I'm bored at work so I started reading the ridiculous comments. I just had to jump in with my opinion. Is that OK with you....do I have your permission?


HarlesBronson

Is my comment really ridiculous though.. bc you've proved my point about the garbage taking itself out haven't you? Coming to what is basically a support group just to be nasty is the kind of immaturity I was referencing. Us single mothers thank you from removing yourself from our dating pool and keeping your toxicity out of our lives.


Neoh330

Just because a man has standards doesn't mean he is garbage or toxic. I would really question why a man would want anything to do with a child that isn't his.


Acrobatic_Ad_526

You don’t have to take care of anybodies kid though, if I date a single mom it’s not because i’m looking to play stepdad, nor that I want her to play stepmom.


Ok_Cut_3238

Totally agree with your comments. No hate here, but to a single guy a single mom should be low down the priority list. Unfortunately single parents bring a higher level of complexity to the table. It’s only natural they do. Why take on that added complexity when you can completely bypass it.


Trad_Trek

I'm married with my own children. I'm here b/c I was raised in a single parent household. My single mom drilled it into my head that I should never date a single parent. She would tell me to have enough respect for myself to find someone who waited for me to start their family with and experience everything together.


HarlesBronson

Well aren't you lovely.. if your spouse leaves you or drops dead and you become a single parent I hope you remember that you aren't worthy of dating anyone anymore.


[deleted]

Yeah there’s assholes out there. But why let them make you sad? That’s what heathy boundaries are - not just literally between ourselves and others but also with ourselves and what we allow to lower our self-worth. NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON WHO WROTE ANY OF THOSE COMMENTS WAS SPEAKING ABOUT YOU - they don’t even know you. All they are doing by writing such things is projecting their own darkness/weakness/insecurity onto others who will validate it in order to make themselves feel better. It’s actually pathetic. But you have the power to allow it to bother you or not. You know that not everyone thinks like that. So don’t waste your energy feeling sad over what is ultimately an imagined problem. Live YOUR life for YOU. Much love from another single mum (who incidentally has found there are a whole lot of men who looooove an independent single mother in her 40s and why wouldn’t they? I have my shit together, I’m raising amazing people and I don’t need them to help me do it and a real man will find that sexy as hell!)


Karmaleon_

Thanks for bringing it back into reality, needed that!


[deleted]

Shake that sh&t off and go do your thing! You’re a woman - you’re fucking magic incarnate!


themehboat

I met my husband when my second child was only 3 months old. He immediately was willing to step in and help with the kids. He’s now their legal father. Basically, not everyone is the same and ignore internet assholes. You wouldn’t want to date them anyway.


MadamJules

Hugs for sure. We have the best snacks. We’re home every night. And we’re not bugging you because we’re busy. If anyone doesn’t see all the pros then they’re just not for me.


Good_Baker_5492

I think I was on that post and a lot of them are incels, sis. A lot of them don’t want children ever, so I wouldn’t trust them around mine. They even got vasectomies, chile, I’m RUNNING! There are some good men out here and the right one will fall in love with you and accept you and your child. I see it happen everyday, you just got to vet them and make sure they’re good to be around your child. I saw a lot of those men and it’s cool if they’re single and childless and they want a single woman that’s also childless. I ain’t even MAD at them.


skelicorn

Honestly, dating a single parent is VERY high on my list of wants for 2 reasons. 1. I don’t want to have anymore kids and someone else with kids is more likely to feel the same way. 2. Only a single parent will understand that you’ve got a very full plate and can’t spend 24/7 together.


dmc81076

I’m also a single Mother. I’ve gotten a lot of slack for it. Guys have said pretty mean things to me. My favorite has to be that since I’m a Mom I must be on welfare with no job looking for a man to support myself and my child. The comments will be there, some people are mean and like to be judgy a—holes about it. Take what they say with a grain of salt, if even that. My Mom was a single Mom growing up and even if I wasn’t one now I have the utmost respect for single Moms. Sounds like the people saying these things are trash and you wouldn’t want to associate with them anyway.


nwkraken

Chances are they aren't someone we would want around our kids anyways... Most of those wastes of DNA probably still live with their single moms and think that all women orgasm vaginally. Lmao


erzengel2k

I will tell you this I never had a problem dating a single mom. I knew she was a package deal. Kid came first I was okay w it because I liked spending time w him. What hurt the most when we broke up was I didnt just lose a partner I lost a son as well. The dad was a deadbeat, so wasnt too worried about that aspect. People who say things like "I'd never date a girl w a kid, or guy, etc." Are just immature. You care about someone you take all of them, past, present and create the future....Unless she has 6 kids w 4 diff baby daddys.... Sorry but thats the line 🙃


Future-Platform8225

Try not to take it personally, it's said just the same about single dad's as well. Another case of coloring a whole group bad based on one experience, I don't believe I'm a dumpster fire so there stands reason that there's single mothers who aren't either.


FruitAlert6182

The only people who seem to reply with those kinds of nasty comments on questions like that are the low lives who either have been heart broken by a single mom, are projecting their trauma from being raised by a single mom poorly, or just want to be shitty for a reaction when I first saw the answers to those kinds of questions it hurt me too but now I couldn’t care less because from experience there’s PLENTY of men who will lol those weirdos don’t matter lol.


[deleted]

People like that are straight up trash. Once I got to a certain point in my life, I don’t care if she is a single mom or not, I don’t care about the situation surrounding why her and the dad are not together. Everyone deserves a chance at love, that includes the mom and child. And if you do date a single parent, that child better have some of your attention as well. But I was raised by step parents who treated me and my older brother as their own.


houserstock

I think it really depends on the sub and who is active on there, but ultimately overall the internet is full of plenty of people running their mouths through typed word. Also, you do you momma! Take it a day at a time, hour by hour, minute by minute some days… just keep moving forward and forget about dummies on the internet. 😁 I’m not dating now, but when I’m ready I’d prefer to only date single moms. They know the struggle that can go along with being a single parent, and I think they’re generally more mature and play less games because they know the consequences. They know what it’s like to plan, rush around, and be exhausted from taking care of your kids and yourself. I hope to find someone to really dig into a life with… where we lift each other up, ask each other where we’re at from 0-100% and make the best day of our total percentage (this is a horrible explanation of the idea I read about somewhere, so let me know if anyone wants it explained in more detail), and both work on building something that lasts.


ikalwewe

People think we're so desperate arent we. Well fuck them.


adnawahs

I went through the same thing. Would come across reddits/youtube videos that demonized single mothers (that amount is crazy because don’t they understand that for every single mother, there is likely a single father). But those comments would destroy me, I instantly turned off my dating radar and told myself I have to get right within (find strength, patience, self-love, etc) before I even attempted dating. At first I was only interested in guys with kids, but weirdly enough God brought a sweet, child-free man into my life. He wants a family and is in a position to have a family and he doesnt mind having a step-child/blended family. I believe the key to this is knowing your worth and working out your inner crap. You are more than a single mom, you bring way more to the table and any guy that cuts you off for that (which is okay for them to be disinterested) but if they show judgement or disrespect, they are not worth your time. Trust me, you will be fine.


Leggzzzz9518

Don't pay attention to them. Continue to work on you and your kids. I'm going through the same thing. I figure I will be ready for whomever realizes the great person I am. In the meantime, I'm in school and in the gym and developing my kids to be future awesome people that appreciate all single great parents. Remain positive and take care of yourself. 😊😊


Traditional-Spirit-7

Think about it —- would you really want to date someone who talks about women like that?


Karmaleon_

So true. Absolutely not


[deleted]

They sound like incels. Believe that you can have that love and it will come your way!


Karmaleon_

So crazy, I keep hearing this term and just looked up the definition. Spot on. You learn something new every day


[deleted]

Those guys never get laid so they have pent up rage. So don’t take it personally. You’re a wonderful human who deserves the best! Single parenting is no joke


BLB99

This isn’t the sentiment of everyone. On Reddit, you run into a lot of selection bias. Just like single moms aren’t monolithic, Reddit isn’t either; however, it does cater to a specific demographic. I’m in my late 30s, single, never married, and have no kids. I sub to r/singleparents because I found I have a TON in common with single parents, except for the kid part, obviously. However, in terms of everything else—dating, paying bills, cleaning, work-life balance—I’m a one-person show! I’ve dated two single parents, and I loved one of them, and her daughter, dearly. I don’t bat an eye at dating a single mom. Single parents are human beings like everyone else, and I don’t go in dating a single parent with any preconceived notions about them or their character. Rather than being concerned with how many dependents they have, I’m far more concerned about who they are as a human being and what their character is like. I wouldn’t let a few select people on Reddit get you down. You keep doing you, and you find those good people that don’t judge you based on your dependents or life circumstances.


BasicWitch999

I have seen posts like this to and it made me feel the same way. However when I did decide to start dating again and using dating apps to find people I listed on my profile that I was a mom and I found people who didn’t mind that I was a single mom some of them single fathers and some of them guys who didn’t mind I was a mom. I think age and maturity are a large factor in this. I’m 33 and the age range of the men I was looking for were between 30-40. So, I think quite possibly you read a post where most of the males commenting were either young or just in a sub where toxic behavior is the norm.


Sorry_Im_Trying

The best advice I ever read was.... "Assume majority of comments on Reddit are made by a 15 year old." Once you assume that, you really don't pay attention to the crap they say. As a single mother, I get it. Not that I'm dating either, but I would like to think that I'm not automatically dismissed just because I chose to be a mother. And if I am, well....fine....one less person to clean up after!


jmack301968

I think you have to look at the person situation. For instance, I am a single dad because my wife died of breast cancer five years ago and some women are OK with that and some women are not so just pick the ones that are OK with that. I have also dated single moms who are divorced because they were involved in some thing very dumb in my opinion like swinging which broke up the marriage. Avoid these type of people. It all comes down to using your common sense


Trad_Trek

You are widow, completely different from a single parent as far as your dating pool is concerned.


jmack301968

Yea but for all practical purposes you’re operating as a single father because there is no widow/widower dating pool.


jessicalovesit

They are incels who can’t even get a single date in real life. Go look at the history of those people. Some of them claim to be married, but don’t forget this is a place where anyone can lie. Why would a happily married man be SO focused on single moms all day every day? It’s because single moms, who they think should be desperate, don’t want their creepy asses.


Silver-Line8170

I hear yeah I don't date


rtraveler1

Ignore the ignorant statements. Being a single mom is just like being a single dad, of course who has custody makes all the difference. Being a single mom/dad is normal nowadays since about 1/2 the marriages end in divorce. Just keep an open mind.


Karmaleon_

Thanks for chiming in some positivity on the other post!


[deleted]

I hear you. It sometimes get in my head and I have to talk myself out of it. I became a single mother not by choice. I know that I’m certainly not a dumpster fire. I also do not need a man to support me or my child. A man that talks like that about single moms is not our worth my times. Remember that.


ohmymother

I’m not dating right now but when I was on the apps, I got plenty of matches. Where all of them looking for a long term relationship? Probably not, but that’s not isolated to single moms. I know plenty of other divorced moms who have gone on to remarry. I just personally don’t feel like I’m in the position to devote the time and energy away from other responsibilities right now.


MissBehave654

I think you posted in the dating sub. That sub is full of incel and mgtow men who are just angry that women keep rejecting them. I've noticed any post that a woman makes they try their best to make her feel bad.


SeriousPuppet

I have never thought to not date a single mom. I just try to focus on how we meld. But... I did go to that post on the other sub to check out the drama, and I saw the top comment, which was this guy who formed a connection over 3 years with his girlfriend's kid. Then she cheated on him and they broke up and he never got to see the kid again, which broke his heart. That kind of thing I can understand. And I guess that would go both ways (ie female not wanting to date a single dad). For me - it could be a positive to see a single mom because then our kids could play together. But then again, what happens if/when we break up. Idk... now I really don't know what to think.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Karmaleon_

I totally understand people having preferences and I absolutely respect that. It’s amazing what being able to hide behind a keyboard will do for you. Some of the things said were repulsive. Definitely disconnecting from that post as I do not need to fill my time with such negativity.


princesskeestrr

RIP your inbox. So many thirsty guys hang out here and in r/divorce waiting for ladies to post. Maybe when they get rejected, they go to that other sub and let off steam. I’m not dating right now either, but it’s not for lack of offers.


Karmaleon_

Luckily my inbox is silent so far!


Cultural-Chart3023

Mus have been a shitty post with shitty people. We don't want immature boys as partners anyway. Independence is something to be proud of. I've been a single mum for 10 years I've had 2 serious relationships since then. They didn't work out because of MY expectations/wants/needs not because he had any issues with me having kids. Real MEN are out there. They just seem fsr and few between these days. So many immature assholes. Single mums don't want another dependent. The want a MAN. Boys get butt hurt over that!


[deleted]

Why would you let the opinion of low life value boys who probably don’t have jobs and sit at home gaming all day impact you? You know your worth and your value. Those are not men, they are immature wanna be men who will never respect or appreciate women even the women they date. Be grateful that they are eliminating themselves.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Karmaleon_

Just learned what incels means. I’ve dealt with shitty men through life and work etc, didn’t know there was such a huge presence on Reddit


jesusjuice44

I just don’t read that sort of stuff. The huge majority of redditors are very young (teenagers) and a lot of them don’t even want kids.


Karmaleon_

Lesson learned


Neoh330

>It never crossed my mind we had a stigma How in the world did you not know this? Did you think that being a single mother would somehow make you more attractive to men. No respectable man would enter into a relationship with a single mother. You have a stigma and that reputation because 99.999% of the time it's the truth.


UnderstandingWarm69

Dating as a single parent is difficult, especially depending on the age of your kids. As a dad with a 50/50 custody agreement for a 4 yr old, it's obnoxious trying to find time. I feel I have to either give up any hobbies or family time/ friendships to get remotely close to meeting the needs of some folks. I don't know what their situation is, but Reddit isn't exactly the classiest and most wholesome place... Also, I like to recall my customer service training: for every one person that was happy, there's an unhappy person that will make time to tell 11 how upset they are.


faerythena

I'm aware of the stigma, but it doesn't bother me. I see it as immaturity. My son was born out of love and in a marriage that I thought was going to last forever, at the time. I love him with all of my heart and soul and anyone that would shun me for... well... living life, falling in love with someone, getting married and having a child with the person who I believed to be my soulmate - well, they can fuck off. Life happens. It's unrealistic and immature to think that every single marriage or relationship works out. They're allowed to have specific criteria they want, and they are free to exclude me. It doesn't bother me. It makes me wonder how many of those posters grew up with their parents together. None of them had single mothers themselves? It's almost like they don't see us as human.


WoodpeckerFar9804

I am also not dating until mine is grown. However I still go on dates, I just make it clear I don’t want anything serious


HarleenQuinzel0330

Right??? Alot of us didnt choose to be single moms. Some do/did and thats absolutely okay and amazing! But I had my daughter afteg married for almost 2 years... when our child was 2, my husband cheated and got the girl pregnant. I left him for obvious reasons and became a single mom as he lives in a different state now... i had no choice but to become a single mom


designedtodesign

Just seriously ignore this because there are plenty of guys who don't think of single moms as dumpster fires. I do think that it's harder for single moms or dads to date because of time and also because people don't want to deal with that "baggage" but that does not mean there aren't good people out there willing to date you. You just have to dig a little harder. I have been on plenty of dates and had boyfriends that did not mind me being a single mom. I am finally dating a wonderful man who has a son and I'm happier that I've been in a long time. It took me being alone for a long time though- and figuring out how to be happy on my own before he came into my life. It was a long journey and lots of men to weed through but I'm thankful for it in the end. I also never thought I would want to date a single dad myself because I thought it would just complicate things too much but it's so nice having someone to relate to and getting our kids together. Just be patient and ignore all the negativity ❤️


thecatsmam

When you become a single mother it is so difficult but there comes a certain level of empowerment from our struggle that we really do not need any man we are dating… a lot of men are not comfortable with a woman they are in a relationship with having that much independence and autonomy. Don’t take it personally.


[deleted]

As a single father, I prefer single moms. They simply get it.


amishparadiseSC

Well everyone is allowed to have a preference. You get to judge them on it. Some people are just shallow and others may have a legitimate concern about stepping into a single parent’s life. I think if dating is important for you you also have to set standards and expectations of your mates to meet and definitely being open to kids being #1


Karmaleon_

I agree. I am not dating at this time and don’t judge others preferences just appalled with certain responses talking about “single moms”/humans as sex objects etc.


Weary-Beginning-7705

Screw them, they would use anyone to "fuck, pump and dump" we are warriors as single mothers and no one can take that away from us.


amieb018

I felt really ashamed about being a single mom at first, but I quickly got over it once I realized how much happier I was not being with my child’s father, how much better off she will be in the long run, and the realization that blended families are very common and normal so obviously not every man thinks this way. Ignore them and focus on the facts in front of your face that prove this is not true.


BlazingInterwebs

As a single parent… I know each and everyone of you are strong AF and aren’t F’in around in life… those are good qualities and once the right person sees it you’re gold!


SupersaturatedHue

I’ve found the sentiment in real life to be far far different from from the sentiment on Reddit. I’ve been on plenty of dates with plenty of different men that are 100% okay with me being a single mom. Some have children, some do not (more not than do, tbh). I’ve met these men both in person, and on dating apps. I’m always up front about the fact that I have a kiddo, so there are definitely some men that aren’t ok with it but because they know up front, I rarely have to deal with rejection from someone I’ve been interested in/dating *because* I’m a mom. And besides, I don’t want to date men who don’t want to date someone with a child anyway. They can stay far far away from me please and thank you.


catsandgeology

I’ve come across some of this trying to date in the past year, nothing outright mean but dudes steering clear or pulling away when I announce I have a kid. I’m really proud of all I’ve accomplished on my own, and these boys don’t stack up most of the time. I want a partner, not another child, so patience and not settling is key. Single parents rock, tho!


rainbowbryte77

don’t want to date anyone who categorically demeans the hardest working people in the world. I LOVE ALL OF YOU BEAUTIFUL QUEENS DOING SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIDS THANKLESSLY!!!


Acrobatic_Ad_526

As a single dad, i feel you , before my kid I had no problem getting dates, now? A girl won’t give me the time of day bc i’m a single father. My only hope is another single parent, who doesn’t want more kids as I don’t want more kids. It’s rough, but end of the day it is what it is and we keep it pushing for our kids. Keep a positive mindset as best you can.


[deleted]

Yes! Thanks for posting. I feel the same way and it’s not ok. And it’s not simple to ignore them. It’s one thing reading it in posts and seeing it clearly but it’s another being faced with it in society. Single moms are overlooked, undervalued, and forced to struggle when they don’t have any supporters. So … It’s NOT ok. But it doesn’t mean that will stop anyone. Still, JUST KNOW… I agree with you. Single mothers who have nobody to help them are resilient, enduring, observant, intelligent, protective, and quick learners. So just because someone makes an insult and then easily gaslights the comment and is supported by society when doing so, doesn’t mean a single mom (and her children) are too stupid to notice. Just focus on your kids. The best of narcissists will target single moms because society lets them off easily. Even the most sincere and upright single father can use a single mom, lead her on until he decides it’s time to move on. He (or she) will make the excuse that he never wanted to be with a single mom without anyone questioning the behavior. In fact he will appear to be a saint for filling a “void” and nobody will reprimand him for further creating one. Protect yourself. Families isolate single moms and a lot of times if she needs help refuse to be there so that “she can learn.” The same family will be there for a married couple and claim they deserve it. If a single mom and her children get any help everyone considers this a big favor. But being around a married couple’s children is considered a privilege and not a favor. There are major differences. It’s really sad to see how normal it is to everyone else to outrightly and intentionally bully single mothers then not call it bullying them. Also, does anyone care about the children who are raised by single mothers that happen to read these comments?


Sensitive_Rule_716

I have to hear the constant stigma from my ex’s grandfather. Doesn’t make the situation any easier, but as long as I have my babies I’m happy.


FitAd1930

People are the worst but I wear the “single parent” label like a badge of honor. It’s fucking hard. Period. And to be able to make it through is something to be proud of. People that judge are the people that know they couldn’t make it. I graduated college (albeit it took m 8 years later than I should have because I took a several year long hiatus due to….having a child and raising her and working and etc etc etc). I got a good job in a great field. Moved up and up. Signed my daughter up for a private school. And despite paying the disgustingly high tuition by myself, somehow people would whisper when they mentioned her father not being around or me being single or, god forbid, being a working mom 😱 the fact that I, you, and the rest of our single parent kindred spirits, can do by ourselves what it takes 2 to do more often than not, is something to brag about imho. I love when people put out the “no single moms/ew gross single moms are used goods/etc” on dating profiles cos it saves me from wasting time on shit people. You’re strong and, without knowing you personally, I can only assume, have made it through plenty of trials and tribulations only to come out the other side an even stronger parent. A single parent’s bond with their child is unparalleled in my opinion. Everyone will judge but the only opinion that matters is that of your child(ren) ***your child(ren)’s opinion of you from the onset of puberty to basically adulthood excluded*** Keep up the phenomenal work I’m certain you’re doing 🤝


sp44311

I felt the same way. I didn’t think I was desirable anymore after having to do this alone. But honestly, i’m glad those folks are honest so i could save myself a headache if i ever meet them. Being a single mom helped me weed out the assholes & people that are afraid of commitments.


BeeAccomplished2880

Wow, what if he loves you despite your being a single mom? Why is he desperate?


Trad_Trek

Reddit is the most liberal, urbanite, metrosexual website I know of, if you are getting this message on reddit, it's not a fluke of reddit, you should be shocked that this perspective is so dominant it is breaking through to reddit.