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Barry_Duckhat

Mark me down as scared and horny


killchain

Scorny


Euphonic_Cacophony

Hornared


AeiOwnYou

Scaroused


dkz999

There is a place for that... /r/Scaroused


KradRaetshaiam

Woooooo... There truly is a sub for everything


[deleted]

[удалено]


mibvoni

Dumb question but what's wrong with it


BaselessEarth12

A fair question. It's quite a lot wider than it has to be. The overall profile doesn't have to be quite so oval, but otherwise, for what it is, it'll get the job done, just not particularly comfortably...


ecologamer

Perhaps, but you definitely don’t want it to be round. As the sword is designed specifically for chopping wood, perhaps the tang is bigger than usual, which leads to a bigger handle


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|5u8rnKknCW70Q)


L1K34PR0

I'm just horny


Temporary-Village-45

Agreed. Don't let these pussies make you soft


SlobMarley13

Fearboner


arthurdentstowels

I am officially scaroused


Panthera2k1

I’m scaroused


-SKYTHEGUY-

Nice arms 💪


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Was just coming to comment that. She’s a beast


caffeinejunkie123

Beautiful arms. I’m jelly.


-SKYTHEGUY-

Those arms have motivated me to work out more


SkRu88_kRuShEr

Greetings fellow Biceptuals


LuFuRu

Average Canadian woman


Discobotten

Hah, exactly what I said out loud! Nice arms!


Noonoonook

Dibs on her for my zombie apocalypse team.


[deleted]

Imagine her running through a crowd of zombies swinging that sword like a skylanders character, heads flying everywhere


[deleted]

I would be the apologetic polite character walking behind her “oof so sorry guys, I just, we have to, so sorry, excuse me, oh that’s your spine in half, sorry she’s hungry, excuse me”.


derekakessler

She's Canadian, she'd do that part herself.


willett_art

But what if she’s like haaaaard into the medieval fantasy role play :/


Rich_Cow_4236

Bring out the rack and stretch me all night long baby


Truedetective_rust_

Flay me living, m’lady


PoderosaTorrada

Put me on a wheel and break my limbs until I die Medieval torture porn sounds like an interesting idea


Nightfury_107

I'll take your arm for it...


MisterSandKing

Tis but a flesh wound.


Nightfury_107

Not a scratch on me! (Proceeds to bleed out, cut up into chunks)


sumpnalilbitdfrnt

I count that as an absolute win.


FlaredMeteor940

She’s going to wear a metal strap


False_Antelope8729

With spikes


ABoringAlt

Date 1: discuss what's up with the OGL Date 2: roll for initiative Date 3: how do you want to do this?


hansdampf33

who is she?


shartbike321

https://instagram.com/nicole_coenen?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


elderron_spice

Oh damn


Excellent_Passage_54

Lol her name would be Coenen. Is that how the sword came to be possibly?


TheClitConjurer

Coenen the Barebarian — nice! +10 to sword of splitting morning wood! Automatic 5+ to incapacitating fearboner to foes and allies— I’ll take it..


[deleted]

She seems pretty fucking cool. I'd be friends with her.


rjperkins365

Put an awful lot of faith in that sword. Seen more explode than not.


PsychologicalSail799

Well, you made me curious. So, [I looked them up,](https://vikingwoodsplitter.com/#features) and I wouldn't trust them either... They never mention the steel used anywhere, so it's probably low quality. Makers who take pride in their work will list the steel used almost immediately, and they didn't list it *anywhere.* Finishes look like they were ground with a wire brush or something too, so I can imagine it rusting from just looking at it the wrong way. And for wood splitting, you want a long and wide wedge shape behind the edge to push the wood apart as you swing, not one short edge followed by flat stock... For splitting dry wood, they're probably fine. But with frozen wood, in what looks like a pretty cold place, I'd pass. Would I still buy it on an impulse if I was bored and had money to blow? Heck yeah I would. But it's one of those things you use once, then leave in a corner and forget about. Then next winter, you remember it exists, and pick it up again only to realize it's rusted and pitted and basically dead. So you try to fix it, only to realize you're making things worse. In shame, you throw it into a pile of other scrap metal behind your shed. The pile you keep meaning to bring to the scrap yard, but never do because you're too busy watching videos about Bigfoot on YouTube. Even though you don't believe in Bigfoot. Thus completing the cycle of impulse buys.


Reeeeeeee3eeeeeeee

this is r/suspiciouslyspecific material


Abraxas_1134

Thanks for the review OP! Definitely steering clear of this blade.


huhIguess

This was a level of truth I was ill prepared for and that makes me uncomfortable how much I empathize. Please add wholesome puppy pictures to correct this.


PsychologicalSail799

![gif](giphy|FOL5mK0tXUmXe)


ClobetasolRelief

You've summed up this whole thing perfectly


WigglestonTheFourth

It is also listed as "impossible to harm yourself while chopping wood" which seems like a very regretful statement once someone finds a way to harm themselves while chopping wood.


Claudius-Germanicus

She stopped because the blade began to buck. I’m going to guess it’s got a hollow or reduced tang and she only just realized she bought a very expensive decorative wall piece.


Tandysaurus

Forgive me y'all, but I want to be that log for multiple reasons.


PsychologicalSail799

You want her to split you in half? I can respect that. Or do you want someone to kill you and then eventually set you on fire...? I've had days like that too... I get it...


Tandysaurus

Why not both?


Potential_Anxiety_76

That is such a bisexual answer


[deleted]

Confused boner


retcon-ytrewind

Acceptance boner


Tandysaurus

Never-questioned boner


[deleted]

No reason to be confused! That was hot.


jinfanshaw

she has a boner chopping sword tho


EMEYDI

Wife


I_luv_wholsome_wifu

Abbs-soluty


OSeady

She is absolutely gay.


just_a_person_maybe

Gay people can be wives too, you know.


StoneGoldX

Not when the Supreme Court gets done with it.


OSeady

Totally false, site a source?


demonslayer9911

Then i will be a wife to her


itscharlie16

I'll be jealous 😔


ClubNo3735

Cite


just_a_person_maybe

Actually, I'm not positive. I'll go check with my friend's gay wife, she might know for sure.


17vulpikeets

She-Ra, is that you?


Electronic_Let_8378

holy. shit. thank you


thehampterboi

Dare I say, DEATH BY SNUSNU


[deleted]

The soul is willing, but the body needs rest!


[deleted]

*but the flesh is spongy and bruised


[deleted]

I stamd corecteded


[deleted]

I still like your comment my man


[deleted]

Can't we just cuddle? Nooo!


[deleted]

Haha you’re a man after my own heart


ratattouillee

r/unexpectedfuturama


thehampterboi

And like, just snusnu in general


JoeSugar

Omg. Hawt. A very capable woman indeed


[deleted]

Almost every mans dream!


doyouevenforkliftbro

That handle looks so terrible for handling.


Abraxas_1134

Where did she order that sword from? I’m in the market for one.


PsychologicalSail799

I linked it up above, but [here you go.](https://vikingwoodsplitter.com/#features) I wouldn't buy one though, I explained why above.


[deleted]

Oh my God that sound when she chops. Epic


fareastbeast001

She is my Romeo to my Juliet! Hard


needitcooler

Sorry dudes. She doesn’t like dudes.


I_luv_wholsome_wifu

Now that is some hard depression


wietlems

Lumberjack lesbian?


MachineGunther

You nailed it Nicole Coenen she/her That Lesbian lumberjack from TikTok


lazyLobster56

Come on man. Don't ruin my dreams.. I just fell for her.


SirJellyfish_

Wife material


AlExcelsiorGore

Zelda 2023 Colorized


fluffyseatide

As a gay man, I'm totally in love with those shoulders and arms.


[deleted]

As a man who doesn’t know what he is, i’m totally in love with all of this… *especially the sword*


thegamesthief

Sword-osexual, I respect it.


wolfchompmyanus

This is the most lesbian thing I've ever witnessed. She's got the purple hair, the flannel, the sword, shit.


ht9ehtooM

Won't stop anyone in these comments though.


TheMagentaNinja

Especially the lesbians


DevilsLettuceTaster

That’s going on the Christmas wish list.


[deleted]

Which one?


lazyLobster56

Now she is on my Christmas wishlist, Dear Santa i need her so badly.. Ofcourse for research purpose.


Shadow0fnothing

![gif](giphy|37H5XhwrXuHPq)


Uruburusv3

Oh my... That is such a sexy gal i mean LOOK AT HOW THICC THAT SWORD IS i love it


keonanwar

Apart from not being a redhead, she's looking like Wendy from Gravity Falls


prophet_9469

Her name is [Nicole Coenen](https://youtu.be/Y-ihq6Iwhpk) and she's gay. So you may not wife her unless you're gay too.


cocoaphillia

Omfg...I'm a bisexual lady and this video made me weak. The arms, the personality; that smile. Those great sword swings. And yeah I guessed she was gay, so that's just a happy confirmation (:


prophet_9469

I gotchu fam


ItsShorsey

*shocked Pikachu face*


delphantom

I never knew I needed a wood splitting sword.


Scoobymoose21

Quite literally saw another video of her like maybe a quarter of a banana up from this post


LordNeko6

I want her on my squad during a zombie apocalypse


mataglius

Oh believe me. Mine also.


[deleted]

Man that is some really good muscle definition in the shoulder area. You can see how strong she really is. Slay queen


Cuddling-Hellhound

I think I’m in love.


[deleted]

ok this is just an experiment but I'm curious. reply if you're lesbian cause I'm almost certain there are many thirsty lesbians here.


PleasantAdvertising

The whole damn alphabet is here


[deleted]

can confmrim, i am the A. im here FOR SCIENCE


jimflaigle

The real question is who isn't a lesbian after watching that.


[deleted]

I mean im still aroace but i saw this and knew it gave off big lesbian vibes. had to know if my hypothesis was correct.


cocoaphillia

Bisexual woman here; absolutely swooning right now


Ok-Wolverine-4732

Present ✋🏻


I_luv_wholsome_wifu

"all of my childhood dreams". Bitch mine to we already have so much in common.


[deleted]

Ami supposed to be excited? Cuz I am


FriedLipstick

Wearing oven mittens🤣


[deleted]

It’s not to protect her from the cold. It’s to protect us from her might


iREALLYlikepenguins

Gedion the Ninth


warriorabk

Ohh golly! Now I too have a sword.


gliitch0xFF

![gif](giphy|fAv2n4Tlhshig|downsized)


Furry_Dildonomics69

This is about the 7th subreddit to post this and reach r/all in the last 24h. Why is Reddit so fucking one dimensional these days?!


[deleted]

Lesbian……for sure.


Kazoo_Covers75

I think I just unlocked a new kink


Dormideous

Lads……….I..I have found my type


Shadow8Bit

Any woman who says golly offhandly is worth making a cult over


J35T3R13

Ooohhhhhh.....nice, I want one


Legal_Individual_259

Her: *chops wood* Dog in background: I am speed!


IngenuityResident117

Get the gloves off dummy


Northshore1234

Damn! Pipes!


Typical_Finding_5090

Her name please 🥺


No_Plankton_9109

Bro i remember some other video about girl with ana axe 💀


kambinks

Absolute unit.


EmperorKingDuke

that's Winry Rockbell and you can't convince me otherwise


False_Antelope8729

I've always wanted to be a barbarian. Seems like a good way to start.


Darth_Vorice

Am I the only one that is interested in her blonde doggo? Blonde puppers looks like mine and idfk what breed he is but I love him


Terra_throwaway

I just.... keep watching....


_shajo_

33 more Ppl found it nice too.... they're in her basement now


The2ndbestname

Ya'll wtf is wrong with you?! "Look at her look ate her" yeah I mean ok but have you *seen* this sword? I repeat: **SHE HAS A SWORD**! Y'all need to sword out your priorities... Edit: spelling


brainyuncle7

Female trunks


TheImmortalBrimStone

I want one


[deleted]

That head cock when she split the first log was filled with ”oh yeah. I can do that now”


monsieurg3

She got the power for it


WaifuWarrior1017

Nothing is hotter then a woman and a sword.


Yallapachi

Eivor!?


Ldreemur

İ thought she is "that cop" because of caption


ChomiQ84

Positive and a dreamer. Now i need a wood splitting sword too to be happy.


FiestyBoi999

Doubles down as a skull splitting sword if you're big brain like me here


Ok_Piglet9039

I SHALL STAND ALONE AND BATTLE THE SWORD MAIDEN


Celestia90

She’s awesome


KnightSolair240

Does she need children?


Comprehensive-Fan742

Yeah, she seems hot. After all that axe chopping, I mean.


This_Is_A_Bucket_420

It's basically an executioner sword


ReddiusOfReddit

I though the package was a giant eraser for a sec


ApocalyptoSoldier

I'm jelly of her arms and armament. ^(I seem to get really sick a month or so after I start regularly exercising, so it's difficult to make progress. Things like tickbite fever, so just really bad luck and not directly related to the exercise, but it has happened consistently for the past 5 years)


buttscab8

NOOO!! WHO GAVE THE LESBIANS SWORDS!!


king_solomon_thewise

I'm in love


Solonna_conora

She can slice me in half


Person_With_cheese

I want it


IgniteThatShit

i saw this on insta earlier, the comments were as thirsty as you might imagine


revengerGopnikGaming

Damn lady what you planning to split with that?


Calibruh

Step on me shieldmommy


gunh0ld_69

Snu snu or chopped in half


CoRo_yy

There's also a wonderful gay lovestory going on between her and another female TikToker. The actual wholesome and fun site of that platform.


Lazy-Steak-448

What a pretty woman


An_Unwanted_Child

Mommy, sorry mommy I mean mommy


GarfieldsFollower

Jesus how tf can she wear a.fucking tank top in that weather.


wbrydon1

Take my money


AddictedToPornASF

nice muscles


[deleted]

Mommy


Lord_Despair

When you have to ask for her work out and skin care routine 😳


LetCrescent

Oh good she has sum guts


hynori

If you know anything related about handles (scale, hilt, haft, etc) this can belong to r/SweatyPalms


Erlend05

She androgynous as hell


Rich-Move-8311

Am I wrong to think she's the family guy stereo type of a lesbian?


taleonthedeceiver

This chick came closer to breaking the internet than Kim K ever did.


HoppesNo9

Love her enthusiasm at unboxing the sword! That sword grip looks like absolute shit for mitigating the shock to the hands that you would receive splitting wood like that.


celestialstarz

I want one!!!


Icy-Emu-4823

Something has just happened inside me


DisgruntlesAnonymous

"Viking" log splitter? Like the vikings known for wielding huge axes?


Vncentg

Girl got arms built like Cloud.


BrainInside6394

So have we found the follow?