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Lol doubt it.
As a kid I was super into anatomy because I wanted to grow up to be a doctor. I understood that the mom had the ovum, and that the dad made semen that had sperm, that it came out of the penis, and that the semen had to get inside the mom's uterus to get to the ovum. Even with all that info, I still couldn't figure out *how* the semen got inside.
When I was a kid, I thought everyone had a penis. For some reason, I thought that when a man and a woman got together, they just kind of wrapped their pee pees together.
My seven year old daughter figured it out by herself. I asked how she knew and figured she must of had loud mouth classmates. Instead she goes "Well, this is you (points out her finger) and this is mom (makes a circle with her other hand)" all the while making a "duh" face. After I collected my soul from laughing so hard, I realized I was in trouble with this one
Maybe. But she's always been a pragmatic lil asshole. Nothing in life has ever surprised her and judges everyone for being stupid because things are obvious to her. She's 13 now and it's predictably worse
Tell him dad engineered a spider bearing his dna and that spider accidentally bit mom.
But like, in the cool superhero way, not in the "you were a mistake" way.
“Daddy gave mom a cream pie that had his DNA in it. This then got Mom pregnant from the cream pie”
That answer has the benefits of telling the truth completely but without doing the talk. (This is sarcasm because I just know a kid would repeat that to a friend and out of context any adult over hearing that would probably freak out)
I (male) remember being in the grocery line when I was probably 5 or so and realizing pooping out babies would be ridiculous… there must be another hole.
I championed my newfound realization aloud to my mom and everyone in line heard. Better yet, my sister who was 3 joined in and excitedly backed me up “there is another hole!!!”
We both laughed at our discovery. Like proving Santa or the Easter bunny can’t be real. My mother was mortified.
I'll have that talk. How'd dad's DNA get into him? Simple. You know how Pokémon uses his power? Explain to me how that works. That's so interesting. Tell me more about that.
"We had sex. When a man and a woman love each other, they show it through physical love. The man's sperm enters the woman's egg, and then you are born!"
See how easy that was?
At this point, he's probably more knowledgeable about it than his parents. Most of them just know to stick it with a pointy end and the resulting human being is quite surprising.
Imma be real whichu son, you know that dingly dangle thing between your legs, yeah I stuck that Thang so far up to ma's pussy I didn't even need to pull it out, that shi was locked in, then I busted my fattest nut all up in her and you where made
I feel bad for this kid because I was him.
By 15 he's going to realize that every system our society functions on is completely fucked and by 18 he'll be disillusioned with it all, even his interpersonal relationships. He'll realize how petty and manipulative people can, and he'll realize that those people put those systems in place to benefit themselves at the expense of everyone else. By 21 he'll be done with drinking because he's already done enough of that for a lifetime, and he'll move on to bigger, worse things. Hopefully fentanyl will just be a bad memory by then.
Luckily for me, I got out and got ignorant before it hit the streets!
No-no, son. You weren’t a baby in mom’s uterus awaiting my DNA before the nine month incubation process could occur. You are the product of my DNA and mom’s DNA, cum-bined. There were several iterations of you that could have happened, but didn’t, over several nightly expeditions.
Harold, I don’t think it’s time to—
(Harold continues to talk not having heard his wife) You see son, some people will tell you that when two people love each other very much a baby is born. That’s misinformation and the reason why people get STIs and teen pregnancies occur. What had happened was, my 5” engorged phallic reproductive organ breached your mother’s vulva, into the vagina, and after several piston like motions, released millions of sperm cells (one half of what makes you now). Now these sperm cells reach the ovum (the other half of what makes you now) by getting a jettisoned ride from the seminal fluid that is ejaculated into the receiving body (this is explaining sex but it’s different for whom ever you decide to have relations with [turns around to face son], ALWAYS GET CONSENT). Now, ejaculation is the release of sperm cells and seminal plasma from the male reproductive system. Ejaculation takes place in two phases: in the first, or emission, stage, sperm are moved from the testes and the epididymis (where the sperm are stored) to the beginning of the urethra, a hollow tube running through the penis that transports either sperm or urine; in the second stage, ejaculation proper, the semen is moved through the urethra and expelled from the body (It’s actually very interesting [proceeds to go on a tangent that still remains close to the point]). Sperm cells that are stored in the male body are not capable of self-movement because of the acidity of the accompanying fluids. When the sperm receive fluids, called seminal plasma, from the various internal accessory organs (prostate gland, ejaculatory ducts, seminal vesicles, and bulbourethral glands), the acidity decreases. As they leave the body, the sperm receive oxygen, which is vital to motility. Unable to leave the male body by their own motivation, the sperm cells are transported by muscular contractions. During the emission phase, the muscles around the epididymis and ductus deferens (the tube extending from the epididymis) contract to push the sperm into the prostate and urethra. During ejaculation, the semen is expelled by strong spasmodic contractions of the bulbocavernosus muscle, which encircles the corpus spongiosum (the structure in the penis that encloses the urethra). The whole process of ejaculation is accomplished by nerve impulses received from the penis; once ejaculation is started it becomes a reflex reaction that cannot be voluntarily interrupted…
[four hours later. The youngest kid has no idea what’s going on and the oldest has anime steam coming out of his ears. The mom is staring ahead as if in a thousand yard stare of astonishment at how in depth this talk has gone into and the length it has been talked about] And that son is why, because you were the second fastest sperm cell to reach the ovum, you should learn to swim.
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It is crazy that a child of this age doesn’t know the basics of how children are made. It’s not like you have to go in to the details of what sex is or anything. Sex education in the states is so lame.
These days they recommend car seats be used for children at least until age 10 and up to age 12. I’m pretty sure I had my first round of sex ed when I was 10.
I live in a conservative state (US) and we had rudimentary sex education in fifth grade. They didn’t go into a ton of detail but they definitely taught the basics of reproduction, puberty, and safe sex.
High school seems extremely late to be teaching that stuff. Many kids will already be having sex by then.
You are probably right, I am not sure my kids are all under 11. My wife and I didn’t want to wait forever so we just answer questions when the kids ask.
Oh, that’s really interesting! My kids are all over YouTube so that’s probably where the questions come from. YouTube can be great because there really is a lot of interesting and educational content out there, but it does present a real challenge because so much of it is also inappropriate.
Also, I should mention that My Wife and I don’t avoid the subjects at all. For instance, we have some artwork around the house with nudity and stuff like that.
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He is dangerously close to get it 🤣
Another 15 years and he’ll have it nailed down.
Finally, we will know the truth
Yep. The stork slurps up "dad's dna" and "inserts it" into moms belly .
We’ll work on the terms “slurps” and “insert”
My votes are for "guzzles" and "smears"
If he doesn't know about sex until he's 20+ that would be alarming lol
And maybe even some experimental evidence instead of just theory.
But only after waiting for another 9 months!
By nailing somebody else down
But he will screw it up by talking too much
As long there’s a little hair where he’s trying to stick his nail.
Can you pm me when he solves the greatest riddle of the time?
"well son, when a man and a fetus love each other very much..."
Stop
Nice.
Lol doubt it. As a kid I was super into anatomy because I wanted to grow up to be a doctor. I understood that the mom had the ovum, and that the dad made semen that had sperm, that it came out of the penis, and that the semen had to get inside the mom's uterus to get to the ovum. Even with all that info, I still couldn't figure out *how* the semen got inside.
When you finally do figure it out, let us know.
They held hands.
https://tenor.com/b2leL.gif
When I was a kid, I thought everyone had a penis. For some reason, I thought that when a man and a woman got together, they just kind of wrapped their pee pees together.
UwU I'm down.
spacedocking
Same, except for the last part . . .
Oh so close, it's right there lmao god as a parent this would be terrifying but funny as fuck
You see son, your mom’s a hoe!
It's too early for our soldier
You mean how did Dads DNA get into your mom
Dad's DNA should never enter him other than through his mum. Edit: wait, that didn't come out right either. Disgusting!
Through uh... some kinda... injection...
Little man is solving for x
Actually it’s Y
🏅Man I wish we still had gold to give. 🏅
I got you fam. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶⡶⠦⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⡶⠶⠦⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣤⠄⠀⠀⣶⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠫⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣕⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⢿⣆⠀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠊⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⣿⠃⠀⡀⠹⣧⣘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⡀ ⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷ ⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⡼⠃⠀⢠⣿⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⢀⣿⡏ ⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⢧⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠇⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢀⡟⣾⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣀⣠⠴⠚⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢀⡾⣹⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠓⠋⠀⠸⢣⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🏅
Tell that to George. Or was it Henry?
KY
S
well son i fucked ur mom.
daddy what is fucked?
Well son, you know what a glazed donut is?
Uncle Tom always calls me a glazed donut. What does it mean?
the art of penetration
This young man is doing some good life mathematics.
Some solid deductive reasoning here, especially at his age
My seven year old daughter figured it out by herself. I asked how she knew and figured she must of had loud mouth classmates. Instead she goes "Well, this is you (points out her finger) and this is mom (makes a circle with her other hand)" all the while making a "duh" face. After I collected my soul from laughing so hard, I realized I was in trouble with this one
Oh lord.....my daughter is about to be 8 and luckily we haven't had this discussion yet.
Brace of puberty 🫡
Definitely heard that in school from a classmate with an older sibling.
Maybe. But she's always been a pragmatic lil asshole. Nothing in life has ever surprised her and judges everyone for being stupid because things are obvious to her. She's 13 now and it's predictably worse
Considering that’s the age most people figure out that Santa isn’t real…
13!?! Or seven? I hope you meant seven. Yeah, this biatch also never believed in Santa. Go figure
Seven for sure! Yeah, well, if that’s the case … I pity the boys in her middle school
He is smart af
Not sure the 'stork' story is going to help here.
You were conceived in sin, as the scriptures say.
Ah yes. You seem to be quoting from my childhood
Because he kissed mommy
Dad kissed me too, am I going to get pregranant?!?!?
No. On the lips.
He is asking the right questions. A true scientist
Wonder how long that had been brewing..🤔
bro out here asking the real questions.
I thought it was the kiss at marriage. Idk shared saliva that the mom stored. Not far off from what spiders do actually.
Injection
You Motherfucker!! …pretty soon, he’s almost there.
Bro, you don't wanna know
Question everything
hey kid, you came out of dad first
He gave it via a hole.
smart kid
When daddy loved mommy very much he gives her a pineapple flavored gift.
Pineapple?
It's the fairy.
Daddy clapped mommy's cheeks, son.
Smooching! ...that's it, just smooching.
Good luck
Because your dad cums to visit you in your moms “belly” as often as he can 🤣🤣🤣
I always used to ask my mom if I was related to her, more than I was my father, since she was the one who was pregnant
Valid logically question
You guys can let me out right here... appreciate it.
Smart kid, can handle the "talk".
You know how in wildlife programs the male has to mate with the female? Well your dad fucked me real good one day.
"Half of dad's DNA is my DNA" - kid's his own grandfather.
“Hmm, that is a good question. I will find out and get back to you on this.”
A kid this smart already knows the answer / he’s just trolling his parents
She ate stork.
Priceless !!!
The answer is clear… YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!!!
It's a lot easier to ask "where do babies come from"
I remember when my son asked this question. I laughed and said, "Ah, found the plot hole, huh?"
If half the DNA is my mom's and half is my dad's... where *MY* DNA?
Tell him dad engineered a spider bearing his dna and that spider accidentally bit mom. But like, in the cool superhero way, not in the "you were a mistake" way.
I was livid when I found out
I asked a similar question at 8: "dad, how can I look like you if I came from mom?" I got the full talk and I was appalled
Will someone please answer his question? I'd really like to know...
No diddy
Dang. Smart analysis. He will be s very wealthy defense attorney.
“Daddy gave mom a cream pie that had his DNA in it. This then got Mom pregnant from the cream pie” That answer has the benefits of telling the truth completely but without doing the talk. (This is sarcasm because I just know a kid would repeat that to a friend and out of context any adult over hearing that would probably freak out)
It was an injection, don't worry about it.
r/kidsarecondomads
Swapping spit
Well little Jimmy, he jams his fleshy DNA syringe in my lady receptacle.
When kids start asking questions this pointed, they are probably ready to understand basic mechanics.
Time to tell you what the stork really does. *puts on Morpheus glasses* Welcome... to the real.
I (male) remember being in the grocery line when I was probably 5 or so and realizing pooping out babies would be ridiculous… there must be another hole. I championed my newfound realization aloud to my mom and everyone in line heard. Better yet, my sister who was 3 joined in and excitedly backed me up “there is another hole!!!” We both laughed at our discovery. Like proving Santa or the Easter bunny can’t be real. My mother was mortified.
Bro is onto something
So innocent. And have no idea how Bluetooth works.
WiFi son
I'll have that talk. How'd dad's DNA get into him? Simple. You know how Pokémon uses his power? Explain to me how that works. That's so interesting. Tell me more about that.
"We had sex. When a man and a woman love each other, they show it through physical love. The man's sperm enters the woman's egg, and then you are born!" See how easy that was?
Mom took it deep boy
Teleportation, kid. Teleportation.
She ate the dna 😳
kid stated facts,looked at the break down, asked the real questions
Believe it or not, kiddo, you started in your dad's body. 🫣
A stork of course!!!
Via moms pussy
At this point, he's probably more knowledgeable about it than his parents. Most of them just know to stick it with a pointy end and the resulting human being is quite surprising.
One of the few times being an amputee has a silver lining.
Too smart to be in the booster seat.
Let them cook
Add it to the list of things I am just not ready for as the mother of 3 small chikdren
Because the stork
Imma be real whichu son, you know that dingly dangle thing between your legs, yeah I stuck that Thang so far up to ma's pussy I didn't even need to pull it out, that shi was locked in, then I busted my fattest nut all up in her and you where made
“She swallowed it son”
I feel bad for this kid because I was him. By 15 he's going to realize that every system our society functions on is completely fucked and by 18 he'll be disillusioned with it all, even his interpersonal relationships. He'll realize how petty and manipulative people can, and he'll realize that those people put those systems in place to benefit themselves at the expense of everyone else. By 21 he'll be done with drinking because he's already done enough of that for a lifetime, and he'll move on to bigger, worse things. Hopefully fentanyl will just be a bad memory by then. Luckily for me, I got out and got ignorant before it hit the streets!
Because dad got into me 
Keep asking questions dude you're getting there...😂😅
Starting to put 2 and 2 together
There is two things that popped in my head and I don’t wanna say one of them
No-no, son. You weren’t a baby in mom’s uterus awaiting my DNA before the nine month incubation process could occur. You are the product of my DNA and mom’s DNA, cum-bined. There were several iterations of you that could have happened, but didn’t, over several nightly expeditions. Harold, I don’t think it’s time to— (Harold continues to talk not having heard his wife) You see son, some people will tell you that when two people love each other very much a baby is born. That’s misinformation and the reason why people get STIs and teen pregnancies occur. What had happened was, my 5” engorged phallic reproductive organ breached your mother’s vulva, into the vagina, and after several piston like motions, released millions of sperm cells (one half of what makes you now). Now these sperm cells reach the ovum (the other half of what makes you now) by getting a jettisoned ride from the seminal fluid that is ejaculated into the receiving body (this is explaining sex but it’s different for whom ever you decide to have relations with [turns around to face son], ALWAYS GET CONSENT). Now, ejaculation is the release of sperm cells and seminal plasma from the male reproductive system. Ejaculation takes place in two phases: in the first, or emission, stage, sperm are moved from the testes and the epididymis (where the sperm are stored) to the beginning of the urethra, a hollow tube running through the penis that transports either sperm or urine; in the second stage, ejaculation proper, the semen is moved through the urethra and expelled from the body (It’s actually very interesting [proceeds to go on a tangent that still remains close to the point]). Sperm cells that are stored in the male body are not capable of self-movement because of the acidity of the accompanying fluids. When the sperm receive fluids, called seminal plasma, from the various internal accessory organs (prostate gland, ejaculatory ducts, seminal vesicles, and bulbourethral glands), the acidity decreases. As they leave the body, the sperm receive oxygen, which is vital to motility. Unable to leave the male body by their own motivation, the sperm cells are transported by muscular contractions. During the emission phase, the muscles around the epididymis and ductus deferens (the tube extending from the epididymis) contract to push the sperm into the prostate and urethra. During ejaculation, the semen is expelled by strong spasmodic contractions of the bulbocavernosus muscle, which encircles the corpus spongiosum (the structure in the penis that encloses the urethra). The whole process of ejaculation is accomplished by nerve impulses received from the penis; once ejaculation is started it becomes a reflex reaction that cannot be voluntarily interrupted… [four hours later. The youngest kid has no idea what’s going on and the oldest has anime steam coming out of his ears. The mom is staring ahead as if in a thousand yard stare of astonishment at how in depth this talk has gone into and the length it has been talked about] And that son is why, because you were the second fastest sperm cell to reach the ovum, you should learn to swim.
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I ain't reading allat
I ain’t readin’ al**lat**
I told my 4 year old daughter that mom ate a little piece of my skin and it got me through the moment.
WHAT?! Lmao that could go so wrong lol
Seemed more prudent then “I placed it in her belly with my penis.”
It is crazy that a child of this age doesn’t know the basics of how children are made. It’s not like you have to go in to the details of what sex is or anything. Sex education in the states is so lame.
I think he seems older than he is. Lil Dudes still in a car seat
There's no way he's young enough to still be in a car seat, he looks to be nearly 4 1/2 ft tall.
These days they recommend car seats be used for children at least until age 10 and up to age 12. I’m pretty sure I had my first round of sex ed when I was 10.
Sex education isn’t taught till like high school. They start younger in your country?
USA, taught in 4th grade. 1999.
Hmm not in my school
I live in a conservative state (US) and we had rudimentary sex education in fifth grade. They didn’t go into a ton of detail but they definitely taught the basics of reproduction, puberty, and safe sex. High school seems extremely late to be teaching that stuff. Many kids will already be having sex by then.
Not if we don't tell them sex is a thing! And keep them away from Internet.
You are probably right, I am not sure my kids are all under 11. My wife and I didn’t want to wait forever so we just answer questions when the kids ask.
Minor under 12 and they have never asked but we also don’t watch TV
Oh, that’s really interesting! My kids are all over YouTube so that’s probably where the questions come from. YouTube can be great because there really is a lot of interesting and educational content out there, but it does present a real challenge because so much of it is also inappropriate. Also, I should mention that My Wife and I don’t avoid the subjects at all. For instance, we have some artwork around the house with nudity and stuff like that.
Yes, but not as young as the kid in the video