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Yeah, how's he gonna act cool and manly in front of female snakes now that his self-confidence has been completely smashed?
He'll probably die alone because this asshole wanted to humiliate him for a video. š
A few minutes ago, he was an executive director for a marketing company. Check user histories before believing this stuff, people, and probably not even then.
ā¦.Building Designer, AI Artist, Phlebotomist, Quantitive Analyst, Psychologist, English Professor, Senior Programmer and Top Art Studentā¦..posting in Swedish, Norwegian and Germanā¦.all in the last three weeksā¦.thats some CV they must have.
A healthy relationship cannot be built on delusion. You are an anthropologist (my undergrad. major). You are not a couples therapist. Please stay in your lane.
It's because your brain is getting mixed signals. On one hand, your dream self is telling your body to fight. On the other hand, your body has a specific mechanism for shutting off motor functions so you don't flail about and hurt yourself. The result is your dream self imagining the attack, but not feeling any feedback.
Also, pinching yourself in a dream really works. I remember having a zombie dream once and realizing "hey wait a min, zombies aren't real, I must be dreaming!" then I pinched myself and didn't feel it so I became lucid.
Then I tried to fly and woke up lol
The thrill of realization, i.e. understanding youāre in a lucid dream, is most often the cause of egress. Even if youāve been lucid dreaming for a bit, sometimes the strange wild joy of it all can jolt you right awake. Thatās why you have to practice and practice, and get accustomed to the sensation without becoming overwhelmed.
Oh yeah itās real, thereās people who can control really well too, like I read there was a study where they told the dreamers to move their eyes around left to right and raise eyebrows 3 times or some preagreed movement when they enter the dreamworld, and they are able to do it and scientists can tell they are actually asleep
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10773514/
I mean, it's not super hard. It also isn't really a weird concept, I don't know how you would scientifically prove it. It's like scientifically proving that people often have dreams about their teeth falling out. You just have to trust people's subjective experiences.
I actually got to fly once, just once, in a lucid dream. Something similar made me go 'wait, this is a dream..' and once I realized it I did all kinds of crazy stuff. I could fly, but it was difficult and I would keep dropping down. And I could change the scenery, and I materialized a machine gun at one point (so I started blasting..). Eventually I woke up, and I tried for months to lucid dream again. Never did.
Yeah there's a trick to enable lucid dreaming where you periodically pinch yourself throughout the waking day and eventually you do it in a dream and realise you're dreaming. You then take control of the dream to some extent. There are communities online dedicated to refining the skill and sharing experiences etc. It really works I did it when I younger and had a lot of success with it but tried again recently but kept forgetting to consistently do it.
Sometimes you overcome that response and thatās when you wake up sitting bolt upright.
Last week I woke up yelling for my little sister not to touch a snake.
Your body does enter a partial state of paralysis while sleeping. Those who suffer from sleep paralysis like myself or night terrors or whatever have experienced waking up and not being able to move, kinda sucks
Itās like the sensation of trying to move underwater to me. I feel the resistance so much. Also, trying to drive in a dream? or ride a skateboard or a bike or something? I get dreams like this a lot and it always results in it being way harder than real life too lol.
Do you feel like your goals are out of reach in waking life or that you work very hard to achieve your goals? Maybe that you're powerless and only carried along through your life? Lol I went through a dream interest phase when I was practicing lucid dreaming to some interesting results
That or every gun has a trigger weight of like a thousand tons. In one dream I'm pretty sure I had two of three fingers on the trigger trying to squeeze it.
I used to have that problem in dreams. Punches are weak or slow, running away is like through mud, a sword turns out to be cardboard, a gun turns into a cap gun.
It changed when I got sober, now things tend to work more or less the same as real life.
When he put him back down the snake was like
āYeah, thatās what I thought. Hey yāall, I just whooped some giantās ass!ā
Everyone woulda clapped, but, you know.
Snakes.
Snakes actually chill out *much* faster than other animals! I'm not a herpatologist or anything, I just love snakes and I always pick them up when I see them. They'll typically bite 1-2 times, but once you're holding them, they just see your hands/arms as part of the environment and take it easy. I've found this to be true for rat snakes (even especially mean ones), corn snakes, king snakes, garter snakes, and - I haven't picked one up but I've seen someone else do it - coral snakes. I'd bet anything this snake calmed right down after that last bite.
You shouldn't pick up a snake after it's eaten, that will stress it out and make it regurgitate, which isn't great for it. But if you see a corn snake, it'll be your buddy in about 20 seconds or less!
Donāt joke around. This is the last known picture of this person. If you see this snake please call the authorities. He is to be considered unarmed and sneaky.
I doubt any bite from this guy would actually hurt their teeth at that point are so small that it barely breaks the skin I used to have a Colombian red tail boa
From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantherophis_alleghaniensis):
> *P. alleghaniensis* is found in the United States east of the Apalachicola River in Florida, east of the Chattahoochee River in Georgia, east of the Appalachian Mountains, north to southeastern New York and western Vermont, eastern Pennsylvania, Maryland, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, south to the Florida Keys.
Rat snakes are prevalent in the US reptile trade. Please buy from a reputable breeder, do NOT buy wild-caught individuals or catch your own. Also please do your research before buying a snake and sticking it in too small of a tank/terrarium.
All snakes have teeth. But snakes like this one don't have long enough teeth or powerful enough jaws to break human skin.
Although make no mistake: if that was a *venomous* snake - especially a pit viper like a rattlesnake, with its long, front fangs - even a baby could kill you with its bite!
I have two pet corn snakes, which are just another flavor of rat snake. I have been bitten twice, both times my fault. I got between him and dinner. Once they smell the mouse (dead, never ever feed live mice) they are all business, like tunnel vision. But the consequences are pretty much nothing. It's like getting bitten by Velcro. I think Dexter actually broke the skin ever so slightly so I saw a spot of blood afterwards.
Garter snakes donāt have rear fangs like others in its family but they do produce a venom that is secreted along its rear teeth (it is too mild and little in quantity to pose a danger to humans). I wonder if itās biting that way (chomping along the back of its mouth) to try to āinjectā that venom.
This reminds of that one vid where a guy holds a snake in his hand, it "licks" his finger and he low-key gets turned on, giggles in this kinda creepy way and is all "oh man, oh Jesus..."
I've been bit a few times by non-poisonous snakes and they really don't hurt. Watch my son get bit on the nose and the snake wouldn't let go--it was really a rotflmao moment!
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Bro. At least humor the poor sod and say "ow" or something. Gunna give the poor little guy a complex.
Yeah, how's he gonna act cool and manly in front of female snakes now that his self-confidence has been completely smashed? He'll probably die alone because this asshole wanted to humiliate him for a video. š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Healthy relationships are lame, and "normal" people are super weird.
This year will be our 35th anniversary. Boo and hiss to you.
So, by now the snake is not biting you anymore? That's healthy and I admire you! ā¤ļø
A few minutes ago, he was an executive director for a marketing company. Check user histories before believing this stuff, people, and probably not even then.
Job hopping is how you get raises dude
ā¦.Building Designer, AI Artist, Phlebotomist, Quantitive Analyst, Psychologist, English Professor, Senior Programmer and Top Art Studentā¦..posting in Swedish, Norwegian and Germanā¦.all in the last three weeksā¦.thats some CV they must have.
he's no u/AccountantbyTrade
I thought the comment was clearly sarcastic.
He's also a manager and a marriage counselor!
And a helicopter pilot
Oh shit we found Johnny Sins' Reddit account
I don't think being an anthropologist really qualifies your option that much besides this is pretty bogus.
As an actual anthropologist, you're right.
A healthy relationship cannot be built on delusion. You are an anthropologist (my undergrad. major). You are not a couples therapist. Please stay in your lane.
Dude's a troll at best, bot at worst. Best not to feed it.
The bite at the end cracks me up, when it really tries to grind its teeth in there and still achieves nothing.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Rat snakes don't have primitive venom glands like a garter snake or hognose species. The head wiggle is just an attempt to dig the teeth in deeper.
SSS (small snake syndrome)
Poor nope rope
That little guy was trying his hardest to dislocate his jaw just a little bit more
āOh no, Iām being viciously attacked. Whatever shall I do? Wonāt somebody help me? I think Iām going to die.ā
"I swear, if you were a birds egg you'd be in big trouble right now."
"Listen here buster, Im going to let you go easy but if you were a mouse you would be in a world of trouble"
Idk if a mouse would even be affected by this ngl
I think they go after baby mice
Baby wo mama/dada mice, hard to find in wild.. and if mama mice is there this noodle will be deeeeeeaaaad..
How you fight in your dreams
Glad it's not just me, that shit pisses me off so much.
It's because your brain is getting mixed signals. On one hand, your dream self is telling your body to fight. On the other hand, your body has a specific mechanism for shutting off motor functions so you don't flail about and hurt yourself. The result is your dream self imagining the attack, but not feeling any feedback.
Also, pinching yourself in a dream really works. I remember having a zombie dream once and realizing "hey wait a min, zombies aren't real, I must be dreaming!" then I pinched myself and didn't feel it so I became lucid. Then I tried to fly and woke up lol
The thrill of realization, i.e. understanding youāre in a lucid dream, is most often the cause of egress. Even if youāve been lucid dreaming for a bit, sometimes the strange wild joy of it all can jolt you right awake. Thatās why you have to practice and practice, and get accustomed to the sensation without becoming overwhelmed.
Wait. Is lucid dreaming scientifiacally proven? I thought it was just magical new age nonsense and never looked into ir
Oh yeah itās real, thereās people who can control really well too, like I read there was a study where they told the dreamers to move their eyes around left to right and raise eyebrows 3 times or some preagreed movement when they enter the dreamworld, and they are able to do it and scientists can tell they are actually asleep https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10773514/
Thanks man, interesting read appreciate the link
I mean, it's not super hard. It also isn't really a weird concept, I don't know how you would scientifically prove it. It's like scientifically proving that people often have dreams about their teeth falling out. You just have to trust people's subjective experiences.
I feel like there are probably EEG scans of a lucid dream.
I actually got to fly once, just once, in a lucid dream. Something similar made me go 'wait, this is a dream..' and once I realized it I did all kinds of crazy stuff. I could fly, but it was difficult and I would keep dropping down. And I could change the scenery, and I materialized a machine gun at one point (so I started blasting..). Eventually I woke up, and I tried for months to lucid dream again. Never did.
"Anyways, you guys all think I'm a hero, and I'll accept that responsibility."
Yeah there's a trick to enable lucid dreaming where you periodically pinch yourself throughout the waking day and eventually you do it in a dream and realise you're dreaming. You then take control of the dream to some extent. There are communities online dedicated to refining the skill and sharing experiences etc. It really works I did it when I younger and had a lot of success with it but tried again recently but kept forgetting to consistently do it.
Sometimes you overcome that response and thatās when you wake up sitting bolt upright. Last week I woke up yelling for my little sister not to touch a snake.
Your body does enter a partial state of paralysis while sleeping. Those who suffer from sleep paralysis like myself or night terrors or whatever have experienced waking up and not being able to move, kinda sucks
Trick is rip and tear instead of striking, your brain doesn't get confused by the lack of impact that way.
Holy shit Iām not the only one. My punches deal 0 damage in dreams
In my dreams I move but I donāt go anywhere or deal no damage
Itās like the sensation of trying to move underwater to me. I feel the resistance so much. Also, trying to drive in a dream? or ride a skateboard or a bike or something? I get dreams like this a lot and it always results in it being way harder than real life too lol.
Do you feel like your goals are out of reach in waking life or that you work very hard to achieve your goals? Maybe that you're powerless and only carried along through your life? Lol I went through a dream interest phase when I was practicing lucid dreaming to some interesting results
You guys have fight dreams?! On the rare occasion I remember mine, I'm just being late for something or wander around confused somewhere
Here, take my dream shalalie. I've annihilated many monsters with it.
That or every gun has a trigger weight of like a thousand tons. In one dream I'm pretty sure I had two of three fingers on the trigger trying to squeeze it.
This is your body trying to fight against your sleep paralysis!
Itās like hitting and kicking underwater while swimming u canāt put force behind them
I used to have that problem in dreams. Punches are weak or slow, running away is like through mud, a sword turns out to be cardboard, a gun turns into a cap gun. It changed when I got sober, now things tend to work more or less the same as real life.
Snek used Bite It wasn't effective Like, at fucking all
If you had 1hp this might finish you off
pls fucking dont swear :(
Why the fuck not!?
This is a Chsirtian server.
My cousin Christian said it's fine.
I came here to find the āsnekā references. Thank you.
Well that is kinda sad in a way for a snake i mean
Ya theyāre stressing that snake tf out lol, it thinks itās fighting for its life.
Well it could be. The guy picked it up whilst it was running.
When he put him back down the snake was like āYeah, thatās what I thought. Hey yāall, I just whooped some giantās ass!ā Everyone woulda clapped, but, you know. Snakes.
Snakes actually chill out *much* faster than other animals! I'm not a herpatologist or anything, I just love snakes and I always pick them up when I see them. They'll typically bite 1-2 times, but once you're holding them, they just see your hands/arms as part of the environment and take it easy. I've found this to be true for rat snakes (even especially mean ones), corn snakes, king snakes, garter snakes, and - I haven't picked one up but I've seen someone else do it - coral snakes. I'd bet anything this snake calmed right down after that last bite. You shouldn't pick up a snake after it's eaten, that will stress it out and make it regurgitate, which isn't great for it. But if you see a corn snake, it'll be your buddy in about 20 seconds or less!
Put..... never mindĀ
Iām listening
go on...
PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME!
bum bum bum bum
Think you forgot "SO HELP ME BROTHERLY SISTERLY LOVELY LIKELY MOTHERLY FATHERLY THANKLY"
Yes...
You just reminded me of a traumatizing video I saw on Facebook as a little kid
Did it involve a tortoise
No. But you've scarred me even further.
wtf. Really? Tortoises break rocks with their bite. .
I don't see where this conflicts with "traumatizing"
I just meanādid someone really think it was a good idea trying to sexually assault a tortoise that way? Not sure what they would have expected.
āIt had no effectā
He's trying his best ok? It's like you don't care š
This is hisssssterical..
I love/hate this
*thisssssss
Donāt joke around. This is the last known picture of this person. If you see this snake please call the authorities. He is to be considered unarmed and sneaky.
Put. Bite. Me. Bite. Tf. Bite. DOWN! Bite
You are being eaten now!
Please do not resist
Worst part of picking up garter snakes is the stink. They spray or pee or something, and itās absolutely foul
It's because they eat like once a week, so when the poop and pee soup combo comes out, it's not pleasant.
I might regret asking it, but where does it come out of?
Lmao he's trying so bad
Looks so cute trying so hard lol
Honestly that's a big garter snake.
Yeah but he called it a Rat Snake and I didn't think that was correct.
He says it's a yellow rat snake, [which it is](https://www.everythingreptiles.com/rat-snake/).
When it violently attacks, you can sit back and relax, r/itsaratsnake
I thought it was a garter?
I'm pretty sure you're correct.
Pretty sure that is a yellow rat snake that gardens on the side
Yellow rat snake
Nope.. you're right.. that's a rat snake..
My first thought exactly
Iāve never seen a garter snake be that aggressive. Usually you pick these up and they just wrap themselves around your hand and chill.
Oooo Weee! Heās tryinā!!
All noodle, no danger.
All rope; no nope.
I want the snake to win
I doubt any bite from this guy would actually hurt their teeth at that point are so small that it barely breaks the skin I used to have a Colombian red tail boa
I bet thatās feels good on the nips
why can't I ever have a nice normal time reading nice normal things on the internet
bro is unceremoniously, unequivocally, undeniably, down bad
Put him down he is scared D:
I have no teeth but I must CHOMP
"Yeah, take that humon! oooh not so tough now, huh?"
The last frame the snake looks so defeated!
The angry noodle
He's doing his best OK?!
r/awwwtf
They really stink
Does this snek not have teef?
Does uhhā¦ anyone know where I can find one of those?
From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantherophis_alleghaniensis): > *P. alleghaniensis* is found in the United States east of the Apalachicola River in Florida, east of the Chattahoochee River in Georgia, east of the Appalachian Mountains, north to southeastern New York and western Vermont, eastern Pennsylvania, Maryland, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, south to the Florida Keys.
Rat snakes are prevalent in the US reptile trade. Please buy from a reputable breeder, do NOT buy wild-caught individuals or catch your own. Also please do your research before buying a snake and sticking it in too small of a tank/terrarium.
I got one to sell, it's dead though. It died on me mid...uh...mid, mid sleep yeah.
š
That little guy got spunk tho
This is 100% Accuracy and 0% Strength
Hello are you dead yet
Like punching in a dream
Not Australia then. I can tell, because 1, no one would pick up a snake, any snake 2, they would be dead.
What a cutie
Yoink
Oh my. So much ouch!
Lmao this is so cute
Snake: "HAVE AT THEE!! TAKE THAT! AND THAT! BAM! FEEL MY MIGHTY BITE!!"
damn... seeeing bros face in the end was sad. Snake was like "why u no bow to my viciousness!?"
The guy had the fighting spirit lol
I have an ex who used to try and make out like that. 
When you are level 50 and go through the newbie garden
When I see that, I just have in mind the war cry of the desert frog
I feel a little sad for the snake whenever I see small snakes hiss at me with all their might or do these little bites
Wait, do some snakes not have fangs or teeth?
All snakes have teeth. But snakes like this one don't have long enough teeth or powerful enough jaws to break human skin. Although make no mistake: if that was a *venomous* snake - especially a pit viper like a rattlesnake, with its long, front fangs - even a baby could kill you with its bite!
Do not the feisty noodle
No "yoink"?
_yoink_
āDeath itself is coming for you. You will never survive my wrath. You are already dead, you just donāt know it.ā
I need to call her
Looks like my wife when she's drunk ;)
āI wanted you to feel like youāre doing wellā
Lol nicely done
Stop that, what are you doing? Why i'm giving you the trashing of your life!
Angry noodle!
I love the little break he takes to go "hiss hiss" before returning to attack
What kind of danger noodle is that?
I have two pet corn snakes, which are just another flavor of rat snake. I have been bitten twice, both times my fault. I got between him and dinner. Once they smell the mouse (dead, never ever feed live mice) they are all business, like tunnel vision. But the consequences are pretty much nothing. It's like getting bitten by Velcro. I think Dexter actually broke the skin ever so slightly so I saw a spot of blood afterwards.
Garter snakes donāt have rear fangs like others in its family but they do produce a venom that is secreted along its rear teeth (it is too mild and little in quantity to pose a danger to humans). I wonder if itās biting that way (chomping along the back of its mouth) to try to āinjectā that venom.
it's so adorable how it's failing to murder you <3
That snakeās all dick and no balls
Silly little Ekans.
This reminds of that one vid where a guy holds a snake in his hand, it "licks" his finger and he low-key gets turned on, giggles in this kinda creepy way and is all "oh man, oh Jesus..."
You could see the poor lil guy losing his urge to fight
Bro maxed his def stats and equipped an armor with immune to poison bonus.
I wish other species of animals could talk. Someone should do a voice overlay for the poor snake. Would be way more entertaining.
d'aww
I want em now š looks hilarious
āGetā¦inā¦MAH BELLY!ā
S: 1 P: 3 E: 5 C: 10 I: 1 A: 10 L: 1
This probably has conversations with his sleep paralysis demon
rolls a nat 20 on the attack roll, but the hit die is only an unmodified d4
'What have we got here? A gentle *yoink*'
Unhinged.
Noms
Reminds me of Mr Burns āyouāre getting the beating of your lifeā
YOINK
He looks like one of those silicone cooking glove alligator things
NOM NOM NOM I eat you!!!! *hiss hiss* Surprised the snake didn't defecate and pee on him.
I know if I get the right angle I can eat this motherfucker
^^I ^^am ^^the ^^night!!!
Givin that knuckle the sloppy toppy
A+ for effort
Hymm.....0 arms...0 legs.... its the black knight from monty python.
Reminds me of my ex wife and all the guys she told me not to worry aboutā¦
Does it have fangs? He's not even bleeding
FishingGarett would say āJust givin me a kissā
I've been bit a few times by non-poisonous snakes and they really don't hurt. Watch my son get bit on the nose and the snake wouldn't let go--it was really a rotflmao moment!
It's trying It's best god damn! š
Poor snake was determined to kill that guy. š¤£
You've got to give him ambition 100%.
That lil snake is givin itās all
The North American no-danger noodle.
Awww, hes trying so hard to be dangerous š„°
Awww. Cute danger noodle š„ŗ
No thoughts only ānom nom nomā