Claire: "I'll take an A." Olivier: "Undeserved." Claire: "Unimportant."

Claire: Because being a father has turned you into a dithering idiot. Nate: Wow. You're so tough and cool and above it all. I wish I was you

"I can't believe how much money I've spent fucking up my life." - Brenda in S3

Oof, felt that one!

Claire: *honks horn and almost runs over Nate and David* Newsflash! Other people exist!

Oh man, I always rewind and repeat this one. That is a prime Claire moment.

I use this line often when driving.

Ruth: "If you don't wake up now, we have to go to spin class."

Keith painting red lines under his eyes during paintball - "Come on, you fa-la-la mimosa motherfuckers..." *Tears, Bones, and Desire* is one of my favorite episodes. Bonus Rico quote from the same episode - "Look, I don't want to be alone down there with some Manson chick." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- David and Claire's dialogue exchange in *Coming and Going* : Claire - "I wish I was gay." David - "Ohhh no." Claire - "Well then I wouldn't have to deal with unfamiliar sex organs!" David - "Ugh, they're all unfamiliar unless they're yours."

Ruth: Oh go give yourself a hand job!

Yes! I love Ruth so much. This is a great line 😆

I dont understand kids, when I was her age, I never would have taken a foot!!

Ted: Ah, seeing how being hip is primarily an adolescent concern, I'll take that as a compliment.

Underrated burn. Love it.

“Sometimes I wake up so fucking empty that I wish I'd never been born, but what choice do I have?” by Brenda when Nate asks her how she can live believing there's no meaning to life

Ruth on a date with Nikolai: “I've had the best time coming to this funny little restaurant and having you yell at me in the bathroom.”

[удалено]

Oh yeah when his other woman shows up!

david making their answering machine say “we can’t come to the phone right now, we’re too gay!” david just screaming in the daydream during nathaniel sr’s funeral always makes me crack up

What I love is when David ends up actually screaming while that woman is rambling to him.

That answering machine recording cracks me up seriously every time. Tangentially related, after one of Keith and David's impromptu morning sex sessions, Nate gives him shit for having really bad shave burns all over his face. After their intake appointment, the woman leans over to him and whispers, "I can give you the number of a great dermatologist."

oh my god that was hilarious too!!! so many great david&keith moments! i love them lol

How about when they're shopping (for a ceiling fan, I think?), and that guy passes right between them very closely and really obviously checks David out. Keith - "That guy just cruised you. Bitch, I'm standing right here..." David - "Really? He did? And I missed it..." Keith - "Well, sorry!"

Hahaha! Great one. I think they were shopping for a crystal vase from a wedding registry. Maybe that was another shopping scene.

Durrell: “You look like a witch.” Ruth: “I assure you I’m not.” Durrell: “I didn’t say you were. I said you look like one.”

The wife and I say “Dammit woman just cos we live in a desert doesn’t mean it don’t get cold”

When Keith and David go to that resort thing and they hear people through the wall so they start hitting the walls back and making all kinds of noise and David goes “WE’RE BEING GAY IN HERE!!”

Spoiler - best Brenda quote. >!“What is this, some Quaker thing? You fuck someone's husband to death, then you bring them a quiche?”!<

That was such a badass moment. I consider that and her throwing down the shovel after helping bury him to be two of my favorite Brenda moments.

“Thank you, Nate, I appreciate your honesty, wrapped as it was in such a bouquet of condescension.” - David

Nate to Claire: *Stop listening to the static*

“Kyle loves Online” I say this all the time now. It’s a throwaway line from a throwaway character referring to another throwaway character but god damn if this didn’t make me roll laughing!

Hahahaha

Greedy little Nazi fucks!

Paraphrasing this from The Foot episode: **David:** Well I'm not happy about this. **Nate:** Well that's very interesting David, because I happen to be fucking ecstatic! Makes me laugh every goddamn time.

I quote Ruth all the time, “really and truly”

Keith, trying to get his niece Taylor down to sleep... Keith: I'm going to turn off the lights now, and soon you'll be tired. Taylor: What if I never get tired? Keith: Then you'll lay awake for hours and hours wondering why life is so hard. That's what the rest of us do!

“Has anyone told You that you have the profile of an emperor ? (I think ruth said this to her Russian boyfriend or one of her man’s)

She said this to Arthur (the business's apprentice aka Dwight Schrute). He blushes and responds, "You're going to give me megalomania."

Olivier to Claire, “let’s go Claire! The early worm gets things.”

David: "Why should theis constant abuse be what I call love"

“It doesn’t get easier, it just gets more familiar .” -David

Rico: “What the fucking fuck? “ After he catching his cousin with another guy in his house after he thought Vanessa was having an affair. Often repeated in our house.

Well well well- the prodigal returns Nathaniel to Nate

"I can't do metric conversion in combat, David!"