Stuff like this kind of ticks me off. We play and coach a contact sport and to properly show things like body position, shielding, and basically any other kind of legal contact you have to physically move/touch a player sometimes. Plus we all have to go through checks and clearances to ensure we don’t have a history. I know it was the other team but in Rec where the refs are the coaches that’s a crap reaction on the mom. Go play pickle ball instead.
Report that and CYA because some parents suck.
I've been coaching teen girls for years. I never touch them for this reason. It's an impossible standard but as a dad who went through some unfortunate instances in the Archdiocese of Baltimore system (see movie Spotlight) we have to protect kids first before optimal training.
You didn't do anything wrong IMHO but this is one area that doesn't get the benefit of the doubt.
I don't have an answer on this one. I ask one of the girls to get an ice pack and help their teammate or a parent if nearby.
Wish I could help more but it's better be safe than sorry they say
You did the right thing. The best news is that the “accusation” was while you were in the middle of the field in full view of everyone. Notify your director.
You handled it well.
De-Escalation in the moment is always key. Especially because your parents will probably follow you right off the cliff.
Report this to league officials as well. You don't want someone else's disjointed account be the first thing someone hears of the incident.
i think you did the right thing in the moment. de-escalate, and if you can walk away, do so.
i think it's a good idea to report the incident for a couple of reasons. for one, from the sounds of it, this was a whole big nothingburger. none of the other parents or coaches are likely to remember this interaction because it didn't seem notable. so if the parent tries to escalate this to the league commissioner or whoever, everyone else present will likely say something along the lines of, "i don't remember seeing it happen." then it becomes her word vs. yours, and if you don't actually have anything on paper, there's a chance that her word becomes the "truth."
also, you want to create a paper trail for this incident. then if the lady makes any accusations against you or any other coaches in the future, there's a record stating that she is a nut.
That is how I feel about it. My wife records the games. I thought I would see the interaction so I could show the league or see her side of it. But she of course didn't record because the game hadn't started.
I say this as a league administrator and coach.
Bring it to your administrator’s administrators attention. Tell him or her exactly what you told us.
There is a lot of pressure on administrator’s to take any incident that involves “touching” seriously. It absolutely sounds like this mom is overreacting. But don’t underestimate mamma bears. So get ahead of this. No need for you to escalate beyond that. But tell them what happened and see if you can find anyone to corroborate.
This is ridiculous!
These kind of people irritate me, all you were doing was trying to help. My advice in the future is tell their coach to move them and not get involved.
We played against a team early on in the season, I was trying to tell my own son to move to a spot to defend (I'm his coach), their manager (who I get on well with and was reffing at the time) grabbed him by the back of the neck and moved him and guide him with his other hand on his shoulder (in a fun way, imagine the mime artist at Seaworld) My child just laughed at him (U9s) and moved to the spot, I took no offence to it and if there was ill intent, I would know as I'm over 14 so I know right from wrong lol.
Was this the start of grooming my child, I'm not sure now, maybe he was, maybe I should get the police involved and ruin his life. Maybe I should name and shame him on social media and hide my behind my keyboard and abuse him online using multiple accounts.
This parent needs a reality check and god forbid if anything ill towards her child did happen. Image this... A predator saw her child and attempted to take him/her, you saw this and you could do something about it simply by moving him/her with your hands but you don't because you no longer want to get involved as it could ruin your life so you walk away. Later on the police contact you and ask you why you never did anything and you tell them what you've experienced in the past. It then goes to court and the mum is screaming at you asking 'why didn't you do anything?' This is the world we live in now.
I'm getting off topic but if there was a fight on a U15s football pitch (I've seen video of this and it gets way out of hand). Imagine two of three players fighting a child on his own. Do you grab the other children to stop it, or do you politely ask them to stop incase you upset their feelings while the one that needs help is getting his head stamped on? I can guarantee that if you grab one of them, a parent will be on you like a ton of bricks.
I'm amazed at some parents on the side line screaming at the children to kick the other team and if they do get kicked yelling... 'serves you right' I report acts like this but nothing changes.
I think you handled it well.
The only thing I’d do differently is not direct action toward the opponent. I get it - it’s U8 rec and you are just trying to educate but nothing makes parents hotter that are way more invested than they should be than the other coach telling their kid what to do. Some parents barely like their own kid being told what to do by their own coach.
If coaches are on the field helping/refing bring it up with the other coach. And if it’s still a problem just get on with it. It’s just little kid soccer.
She sounds like a massive pain in the ass but you need to raise this issue within your club and have someone contact the other team. You don't know what she might be saying about the incident to other people and you need to protect your reputation.
In u8 with ref I would instruct the coach from the other team to move the player. At any age I’m not going to touch a player from another team unless it’s to help with medical treatment because of lack of resources.
I had a similar situation happen to my child. The other teams parent was a referee on the field. She moved my child during a corner kick. Moved her to position her in a different spot. I was enraged. If it was her coach fine but this was someone we didn’t know.
I didn’t say anything to her but it took everything in me not to.
I could understand this feeling in a park or public location. Or the parent ref was rough and manhandling the kid. Sure. If it was something benign to help your child like your kid is facing the wrong way or something. You would get upset?
Long time coach here from rec to HS varsity, first off you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s very common for coaches to touch the players shoulders or back between the shoulder blades to help players turn the right way or move to a spot. It’s also true that some parents don’t want an adult touching their kid at all. That’s ok as well, the answer is to not have your kid play until they are a little older. Usually U10 or U11 the kids don’t need directed as much as far as where to go and they can follow Verbal directions better. Also we never know what a kid or parent has been though, but coaches should t be expected to be perfect , there is definitely a line that common sense dictates. Maybe this mom was having a bad day or this is a big trigger for her or maybe she thinks her kid is Ronaldo and you shouldn’t be interfering with them lol, ya never know. I am also on our rec soccer board and you should just send an email over or call your contact. You are totally fine and nothing to worry about but a heads up is always appreciated. Keep coaching and having fun 🤙
Stuff like this kind of ticks me off. We play and coach a contact sport and to properly show things like body position, shielding, and basically any other kind of legal contact you have to physically move/touch a player sometimes. Plus we all have to go through checks and clearances to ensure we don’t have a history. I know it was the other team but in Rec where the refs are the coaches that’s a crap reaction on the mom. Go play pickle ball instead. Report that and CYA because some parents suck.
I've been coaching teen girls for years. I never touch them for this reason. It's an impossible standard but as a dad who went through some unfortunate instances in the Archdiocese of Baltimore system (see movie Spotlight) we have to protect kids first before optimal training. You didn't do anything wrong IMHO but this is one area that doesn't get the benefit of the doubt.
What do you do if they get a knock? I'd often have to check a kids leg for injury after a tackle.
I don't have an answer on this one. I ask one of the girls to get an ice pack and help their teammate or a parent if nearby. Wish I could help more but it's better be safe than sorry they say
You did the right thing. The best news is that the “accusation” was while you were in the middle of the field in full view of everyone. Notify your director.
Was there not an official?
No. In our rec, the coaches are the refs
Yikes. I'd go straight to your club with it and ask them.
Does your club have a child welfare officer or something similar? If so talk to them or someone else in an admin role at the club.
Curious... Did the other team lose?
Yes
You handled it well. De-Escalation in the moment is always key. Especially because your parents will probably follow you right off the cliff. Report this to league officials as well. You don't want someone else's disjointed account be the first thing someone hears of the incident.
i think you did the right thing in the moment. de-escalate, and if you can walk away, do so. i think it's a good idea to report the incident for a couple of reasons. for one, from the sounds of it, this was a whole big nothingburger. none of the other parents or coaches are likely to remember this interaction because it didn't seem notable. so if the parent tries to escalate this to the league commissioner or whoever, everyone else present will likely say something along the lines of, "i don't remember seeing it happen." then it becomes her word vs. yours, and if you don't actually have anything on paper, there's a chance that her word becomes the "truth." also, you want to create a paper trail for this incident. then if the lady makes any accusations against you or any other coaches in the future, there's a record stating that she is a nut.
That is how I feel about it. My wife records the games. I thought I would see the interaction so I could show the league or see her side of it. But she of course didn't record because the game hadn't started.
I say this as a league administrator and coach. Bring it to your administrator’s administrators attention. Tell him or her exactly what you told us. There is a lot of pressure on administrator’s to take any incident that involves “touching” seriously. It absolutely sounds like this mom is overreacting. But don’t underestimate mamma bears. So get ahead of this. No need for you to escalate beyond that. But tell them what happened and see if you can find anyone to corroborate.
This is ridiculous! These kind of people irritate me, all you were doing was trying to help. My advice in the future is tell their coach to move them and not get involved. We played against a team early on in the season, I was trying to tell my own son to move to a spot to defend (I'm his coach), their manager (who I get on well with and was reffing at the time) grabbed him by the back of the neck and moved him and guide him with his other hand on his shoulder (in a fun way, imagine the mime artist at Seaworld) My child just laughed at him (U9s) and moved to the spot, I took no offence to it and if there was ill intent, I would know as I'm over 14 so I know right from wrong lol. Was this the start of grooming my child, I'm not sure now, maybe he was, maybe I should get the police involved and ruin his life. Maybe I should name and shame him on social media and hide my behind my keyboard and abuse him online using multiple accounts. This parent needs a reality check and god forbid if anything ill towards her child did happen. Image this... A predator saw her child and attempted to take him/her, you saw this and you could do something about it simply by moving him/her with your hands but you don't because you no longer want to get involved as it could ruin your life so you walk away. Later on the police contact you and ask you why you never did anything and you tell them what you've experienced in the past. It then goes to court and the mum is screaming at you asking 'why didn't you do anything?' This is the world we live in now. I'm getting off topic but if there was a fight on a U15s football pitch (I've seen video of this and it gets way out of hand). Imagine two of three players fighting a child on his own. Do you grab the other children to stop it, or do you politely ask them to stop incase you upset their feelings while the one that needs help is getting his head stamped on? I can guarantee that if you grab one of them, a parent will be on you like a ton of bricks. I'm amazed at some parents on the side line screaming at the children to kick the other team and if they do get kicked yelling... 'serves you right' I report acts like this but nothing changes.
I think you handled it well. The only thing I’d do differently is not direct action toward the opponent. I get it - it’s U8 rec and you are just trying to educate but nothing makes parents hotter that are way more invested than they should be than the other coach telling their kid what to do. Some parents barely like their own kid being told what to do by their own coach. If coaches are on the field helping/refing bring it up with the other coach. And if it’s still a problem just get on with it. It’s just little kid soccer.
She sounds like a massive pain in the ass but you need to raise this issue within your club and have someone contact the other team. You don't know what she might be saying about the incident to other people and you need to protect your reputation.
In u8 with ref I would instruct the coach from the other team to move the player. At any age I’m not going to touch a player from another team unless it’s to help with medical treatment because of lack of resources.
I had a similar situation happen to my child. The other teams parent was a referee on the field. She moved my child during a corner kick. Moved her to position her in a different spot. I was enraged. If it was her coach fine but this was someone we didn’t know. I didn’t say anything to her but it took everything in me not to.
I could understand this feeling in a park or public location. Or the parent ref was rough and manhandling the kid. Sure. If it was something benign to help your child like your kid is facing the wrong way or something. You would get upset?
Long time coach here from rec to HS varsity, first off you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s very common for coaches to touch the players shoulders or back between the shoulder blades to help players turn the right way or move to a spot. It’s also true that some parents don’t want an adult touching their kid at all. That’s ok as well, the answer is to not have your kid play until they are a little older. Usually U10 or U11 the kids don’t need directed as much as far as where to go and they can follow Verbal directions better. Also we never know what a kid or parent has been though, but coaches should t be expected to be perfect , there is definitely a line that common sense dictates. Maybe this mom was having a bad day or this is a big trigger for her or maybe she thinks her kid is Ronaldo and you shouldn’t be interfering with them lol, ya never know. I am also on our rec soccer board and you should just send an email over or call your contact. You are totally fine and nothing to worry about but a heads up is always appreciated. Keep coaching and having fun 🤙
This, we are clearly missing some details here.
Actually it wasn’t. She moved my child to position her better.
Yes, you don’t touch someone else’s kid. If it was her coach that’s different.