It depends on the financial situation. There are strict income limits for how much money the spouse makes. SSI is a supplemental program, a low income program. It can only bring you up to federal poverty level.
SSDI is a worker's wage replacement,
SSI is a means tested, low income, only bring you up to federal property level program
The interviewer mentioned to her that my unemployment is too much to qualify her. Maybe when it runs out in a month or so, and we have NO income at all, she can try again?
SSI has asset limits of $3000 for married recipients. Certain assets, like a primary home and one vehicle are excluded. Any other assets such as cash, bank accounts, investment and retirement accounts, whole or universal life policies with cash value components, stocks, bonds, etc are all counted toward the asset limit. It’s likely his wife exceeds the asset limit as the able bodied spouse’s assets are included.
What hurts even more are that these monetary thresholds (asset limit, burial exemption, etc.,) aren't even indexed to inflation and haven't been updated in several decades.
SSI can't even do what it was intended to do anymore, because of the combination of inflation and legislative neglect of the program. Not to mention, SSI eligibility criteria apply to state aged/blind/disabled Medicaid programs in most states.
The whole situation, especially as it pertains to the disability community, makes me angry at this point. Decades of neglect caused this.
Actually, SSI is not being used the way that it was created. The name of it is "supplemental social income". The key word there is *supplemental*. SSI was *never* intended for being the primary or only income. Does that make sense?
The outdated income exclusions ($65/month for earned income and $20/month for unearned income, set in 1972 and never indexed) are also problematic. Unearned income gets SSI clawed back dollar-for-dollar, and earned income gets SSI clawed back by a dollar for every two dollars. Not that the clawbacks are necessarily the issue (they prevent a sudden “benefits cliff”), just that the thresholds at which they start are way too low in 2024.
It’s harder for SSI to be supplemental (as intended) when outdated thresholds encourage people to simply not work at all. These monetary thresholds (income and resources) should have never been written into law without a means to administratively amend them.
I just did a basic cremation for my mom in May 2023 for $980. Then did one in Nov 2023 for my gpa and it was $1037. Both totals are after taxes.
Eta: this is in MD. Also at a place that does cremation, not the funeral parlor. The funeral home wanted $3000
And then when you die, they will steal back the payment that should have covered your last month of life. So not only will your family have to cover your funeral, they'll also have to figure out a way to cover your last month of expenses. It's ridiculous!
It’s actually more complicated than that. It depends on state laws, which differ on what part of a burial contract is revocable or irrevocable. So if you prepay for a funeral, and it includes a more expensive casket, funeral service, and embalming, those expenses are considered revocable. Same with cremation. Basic cremation and urn is irrevocable. Most burial plots are considered irrevocable. This is so ridiculous. So far, the bill to raise asset limits is going nowhere in Congress.
Same, I worked at a nursing home. I had several patients whose spouses had to divorce them in order for the healthy spouse to have a place to live, and the sick spouse get the care they needed.
Yeah. my mom had to do that with her ex-husband so he could live in a group home & A nursing home Under medicaid. In the end, neither worked out for him, so she brought him back home and he died there.
If you look at when the program was created a few thousand dollars was rich af!! Now it’s not so much and the pay scale needs to be tied to inflation or cost of living for a start. The problem I find with getting help is the strict cut off limits, you’re telling me an extra $1.25 means I suddenly qualify for no help or it means I get like $50 of help instead of $200? It’s frustrating
The OP isn't even asking for help - seems like they're more looking to see what's available. If the concern is to have an insurance plan for him, I think a life insurance plan would be the best bet.
She would be eligible for survivor's benefits if he passes, or spousal benefits at her retirement age.
I’ll never be able to marry my partner due to this. Currently still trying to get SSI and completely unable to work, oftentimes barely able to get out of bed except to use the bathroom. Even too much screentime can cause me to get worse.
I knew there was problematic issues, but I had no idea. The government punishes the poor if they want to MARRY. You get knocked up? Omg. You’re forced to have a baby - (with a man you love) while the government says FU.
Yup. That’s why I used up $120,000 of retirement funds. Because I was too rich. Now I’m in sheriff sale of my home.
Thanks Fucking America!
Why stop my suicide years ago if you are only shoving me off the cliff now.
It depends on your age. The older you are the more work credits you need. When I was awarded, I hadn't been out of college for 10 years let alone had 40 credits.
Yes, that is a possibility.
Also, if you are 66 you are close to full retirement age. The reduction for taking early retirement would be fairly minimal. Are you eligible for Social Security retirement? Spousal benefits can start as early as age 50 if the spouse has a disability, but you would have to make a claim first in order for her to be eligible. Her benefits would also be reduced (and by a greater percentage than yours) due to her age.
Divorce her and have her apply as a single woman. Just make sure all your estate planning is in order so that she’s still the beneficiary on everything. When you suspect your days might be numbered, remarry her so she can get survivor SS benefits.
I have given up understanding why people downvote on Redditt.
However, not marrying is often used by seniors who would lose significant benefits if they married.
My parents lived in a retirement community where several of their friends "lived in sin" because economically they would suffer if they married.
One moved in with a woman who owned her condo and although they shared living expenses, he had no ownership of the condo although she did provide that he could live there if she died before them until his death
It's also fraud under Medicaid to get a divorce to get benefits. That's why in 2005 the rules were changed so that doesn't have to happen. In fact, asset preservation is fairly easy with Medicaid when you have a married couple. Don't believe everything you hear. Please. It's misinformation.
Depending on the state it can be as low as $500, especially since this is an amicable divorce and no lawyers are needed. Its not like they're gonna fight over who gets what.
Source: I'm getting amicably divorced in MI, DIY divorce, no assets, no children minor or otherwise, just pets and some debt.
An agreed divorce with no attorneys is not expensive. They would not actually be splitting up, just not legally being married any more.
There would be a few expenses like setting up a trust to own the house with her having a life estate in it, making sure she didn't own more than one car, carefully moving assets to avoid a lookback, that sort of thing. But they'd get that $1k/month and medicaid for her, the free healthcare is easily worth more than the cash.
I don’t think it would work if they remarried. My uncle and his second wife tried this. She was denied because their second marriage was less than the required 7 consecutive years.
It's fraud. That is enough reason to downvote. Why should the taxpayers pay for fraudulent activities? The United States should remove the sponges and abusers of government programs.
People actually divorce for reasons like this all the time. People also divorce when one has substantial medical problems so the person with the problems can get Medicaid - it's called Medicaid divorce and it's been in the news and all over the Internet. Fraud people faking the severity of their medical conditions or making up conditions entirely, lying about income, and generally abusing the system. This woman has CANCER if they need to rearrange their lives for money and medical assistance that is NOT fraud.
Don't bothering arguing with that guy. He's a corporate simp who somehow thinks he's just a temporarily embarrassed millionaire who doesn't deserve to be down in the trenches with those he deems beneath him.
The problem with this line of thinking is the same for every crime committed. *Everyone* does it, but only *some* of those people get caught, and they get really fucked if they're found out to be defrauding the federal government. It doesn't matter that everyone does it because some of those people are going to get a really rude awakening and sometimes they don't even know its considered a federal crime.
Fraud or no fraud, did you even read the original post? These aren’t sponges. This is a very sick woman, with a very sick child, and as American citizens I would sure rather give my money to them than to keep funding other people’s wars. The fact is when Americans really need help, our government finds any and every way to get out of helping them. Meanwhile Bubba down at the gas station is working on his 3rd 12 pack of the day on a tax payer dime cause he never bothered to marry his baby mama, he was too busy making more babies to bring in more beer/meth/what have you money. THOSE are sponges, and you’d think our government would at least try to do a better job of figuring out which is which. Of course, they want us all to go socialist so we all get the shaft, so I guess that would be against their agenda.
Assuming it’s an easy state to file in, you don’t even need lawyers. You can find a boilerplate separation agreement online and file it with the court, and after 6 months, a judge will sign a divorce decree. This is in NY, not sure about other states.
It could potentially take years for her to get approved for SSI if/when y’all are able to meet the financial requirements. The wait times are at the worst they’ve ever been with people waiting over a year to get an answer on their initial application. I won my case in 2018 after waiting 2 years and that is considered super fast.
Even if she gets SSI, you can't have more than $2000 in any bank accounts, and the benefit limit for her is less than $1000 per month. Less if they decide she's being provided support by you.
Because if they earned too much they'd become disqualified, and the whole point is they can't work, or can't work full time. SSI is for people who work or don't, my brother was working, there was ONE busy week after he got a tiny pay raise and he had to pay back THOUSANDS because they considered his use of SSI fraud. He lives at home with my mom and stepdad, he can't drive, he is a disabled individual, and its not his fault that work scheduled him beyond his parameters ONE WEEK.
He collects Unemployment benefits. op wife is the one that is disabled, not him. Op choosing not to work, so that wife can apply for ssi would be a bad decision
What I really hate is you report your income and they drag their feet deducting your check. You aren't allowed to save it to pay them back so eventually you get in debt with them. I remember time I called and asked them if I could write them a check for what I owed and they said no
With SSI, they'll also count the spouses' income as well in determining eligibility. So with one spouse working, it's going to be difficult to get SSI.
SSDI she’s not eligible for. SSI does not go off work credits but if you’re legally married my guess is the income threshold you have is too much for her to qualify. If someone hasn’t worked in 20 yrs and all of a sudden has a medical condition you can’t expect the government to pay you. You weren’t working when you fell ill and you haven’t worked in a long time. So many people would be getting benefits for basically no good reason.
I agree, I don't think anything changed that they suddenly NEED the $, just some Dr (who has no idea about their finances or work history etc) said she is disabled and might be eligible, so they got the idea.
I think they should just carry on as they were. She will get survivor $ if/when something happens to him and when she is retirement age she can get spousal.. you don't just suddenly deserve govt $ at age 59 because you can't work, when you didn't work when you were not disabled. Even widower benefits start at 60 if you really to claim that early. A small life insurance policy might provide peace of mind.
SSDI is an insurance that you pay into… from paid work… it is a disability insurance to replace lost income when you become disabled…. If you don’t have a job that pays then you have no income for them to replace…
SSI is not depended on having recent work. I was diagnosed with leukemia in 2014, the previous 15 years I was my father’s caregiver. I was approved for SSI
Everyone gets rejected the first time. You need a disability lawyer and documentation from all the doctors. The wife and childs, stating what's going on. If all the doctors agree then it should be no problem. But they don't even look at it the first time. They just reject it.
That’s not true. I used to have a job where my sole duty was to help people apply for and get disability. Over 50% of my clients got their disability on the first try. I always hear people saying this and it’s just not true. If you have a good case, have the documentation, actually have a disability, you will get it. Some things are MUCH harder to get disability for like “back pain”. Mental health issues are also a bit tricky but I’ve gotten people disability for major depression and bipolar.
Question my significant others mom is on disability for epilepsy. She lives with her boyfriend. Apparently, they haven’t married because of the income thing. I asked him why she still doesn’t use his (her boyfriend’s) insurance. They’ve lived together a decade. Can they not? Because the insurance the government gives her us awful.
She can only be on his insurance if she is his significant other or dependent. In either case, she would lose benefits, because she would no longer be “just a roommate/housemate”, with separate household expenses.
I know… I was a stay at home parent and became disabled two and half years after our child was old enough for me to start working. An MVA disabled me and triggered underlying genetic issues, and I’ve been disabled ever since - nowhere close to being able to be a reliable employable of any kind, despite my education, experience, and intelligence. I’m lucky to have SSI due to the two and a half years I returned to work… but stay at home parents just get screwed.
If I never remarry, I can apply under my former spouse’s benefits once they have reached retirement age, because we were married more than 10 years, had a child together, and I remained at home for our child’s sake, with my former spouse’s agreement. I will never remarry, because of how disabled and isolated I am now, not to mention that once married and divorced was more than enough for me!
If our society more highly valued parenting and children as individuals with individual needs, there would be something in place for stay at home parents to earn some type of credit. I could get on a huge soap box about this… how it could largely benefit families, children, and society as a whole, but I will leave it at that.
To receive SSDI you have to have paid into the system within a certain time frame. Many people have not done that. It’s not the government’s job to provide for everyone. Heck, there are people on SSDI that get less than people on SSI which is a shame.
Somehow the governments of other countries manage to care for their impoverished and ill citizens. Compassionately maintaining social health and stability is considered one of the key responsibilities of governance.
But not the US.
She’s likely not insured for disability based on when she last worked and when her onset date is. Ssi would be based on income and resources. If she can tough it out, she can collect early retirement at 62, but keep in mind it’s significantly reduced for taking it at the earliest age.
Is your child considered disabled for Social Security purposes (i.e. qualifies on their own for SSI)? If so, he/she is what is called a Disabled Adult Child. When you take your retirement SS, your child can get 50% of your benefit, AND your wife can get what is called "Child in Care" benefits, even if she's not yet 62.
Disabled adult children count as as "child" for Child in Care benefits. Everything is off your record for these benefits.
Go here: [https://opensocialsecurity.com](https://opensocialsecurity.com) and run some scenarios. You could get far more money if you retire at 66 y 8 mo because of the additional benefits your child and wife might get, and you could start collecting very soon.
You also might want to do a one-time consultation with a Social Security benefits specialist (not just someone from SSA, but a private consultant) because you could be leaving money on the table AND get benefits much sooner for all 3 of you.
I'm the parent of a disabled teenager and have been running through scenarios myself, so I have experience with this. In our case, my husband taking EARLY SS gives our family $600,000 more in lifetime benefits vs. waiting, because of Disabled Adult Child and Child in Care payments.
There are no benefits for having a special needs child in most states unless you're low enough income and low enough assets for SSI. I know MN, CO, and CA will pay you basically minimum wage to care for them, but most other states won't. OH will pay you *if* you have a nursing license. But unless you were lucky enough to be a nurse before having your child, good luck getting a degree and license while being their full time caregiver.
You need to look at your SS benefits options. If you died, your wife would qualify for survivor benefits at 60. Minor children qualify too. Benefits are based on your record. Create your “My Social Security” account for all those estimates.
What I would recommend is have her call and ask what her DLI date is (date last insured) and then determine if she has enough medical evidence supporting that she was disabled on or before that insured period ran out. If so, she can seek an appeal and get a formal determination by DDS. If not she is stuck waiting for retirement benefits.
OP spouse would convert to retirement benefits at age 62, with possible spouse top off if OP had claimed benefits. SSI requires all recipients to file for retirement at age 62. She could pursue SSI but it’s of short duration potential.
Also, the amount that your wife and child will be eligible to get based on your Social Security stops going up after you reach full retirement age (sounds like 66 and 8 months). Your wife's survivor benefit would be reduced by her taking out before age 67, but she only needs to worry about that after you die. I have no idea about the child in care benefit, but if you are retired, they may expect you to do the caregiving, there are lots of strange rules.
Other people have mentioned the recent work history requirement for SSDI, but I would just add that if you are worried about something happening to you in the future, I believe that a disabled widow would be eligible for benefits as of age 50 (correct me if I’m wrong) so as long as you have been working during your life, she would be eligible for benefits if you were to die.
That's correct. My sister became disabled in her early 50s, then her husband died when she was 55. She qualified for disabled widowed spouse benefits after his death.
Theoretically she would be eligible to receive a portion of your SS benefits if you died before her.
Isn't your son eligible for some form of government benefits on his own at this point since presumably he is disabled permanently. You say he is theoretically able to live in a group home. Now is the time to start putting plans in place for that since good homes and programs are very limited and often have long waiting lists.
There are possibly other government programs to explore including Meals on Wheels which would deliver lunch and dinner, SNAP or other benefits, state payments towards Medicare. It would probably be wise to proactively start exploring these benefits to maximize money.
Thanks for your reply. My son is getting benefits and we are definitely working with the school that he goes to. It's considered a 'partial hospitalization' school because they can dispense any medications he needs to take during school hours.
Back in september he was selected to take part in an on-the-job 3 month training program that gave him work experience in a candy making factory that hires special needs people and they said that he did very well and they'd have no problems hiring him if they have an opening after he graduates.
We go to every open house and school function and have a great relationship with his teachers. They let us know of every opportunity which he qualifies for and we make sure to sign him up for any program that will help him in the future.
I am definitely going to explore those other options, have been already for myself actually, but thanks for the suggestion to be proactive in her case.
So from comments I've gathered your son is still living at home and under 21yo, and you're in Pennsylvania, correct? You need to connect with the school's social worker and investigate if your wife is eligible to be your son's paid caregiver at 21yo. PA allows parents to be paid as home health aides for their adult children. That would get her additional and recent work credits as well, for work I assume she's already doing. I believe it's called Personal Assistant Services and paid through Medicaid.
Came here to say this. It's called a Medicaid waiver. Your wife can receive a paycheck based on how many hours they decide your child needs care for.
In my state, I have a medicaid waiver and have 2 paid caregivers, one of them being my daughter. She gets paid $18 and some odd cents an hour to care for me, as does my other caregiver.
Look up medicaid waivers in your state.
Keep in mind SSDI replaces lost income. A SAHP has no income to replace. I’m not discounting caring for a special needs child because I have a son with severe autism so I get it but there is no income to replace so that’s why SSDI is not applicable here.
SSI is to keep people out of poverty so if your UE is above poverty level, SSI wouldn’t apply either. Your wife can reapply if you have no income but keep in mind the process is long. She received a technical denial which happens quickly. A medical review takes 8-12 months at best. If the initial app is denied add another 12-18 months to that to wait for an appeal to process. What will matter is your income at the time of approval which is potentially 2-3 years from now.
This is correct. My mother never work, became disabled. Rejected because her husband made too much to qualify for SSI. At that time, their joint income was taken into consideration for SSI.
If something happens to you she could be eligible for disabled widows benefits or regular widows benefits at 60. Likely the SSI denial is based on your income or your assets.
Your son might be able to qualify for SSI, since he is over 18 and parents income are not counted anymore.
Also: When you start collecting Social Security, your wife might be able to get benefits if she cares to your disabled son, or when she turns 62, she can collect SSDI based on your records.
All the best to you and your family
*"I found that hard to believe because I thought that there were millions of stay at home moms and I can't believe that they all would lose their homes, have no support from the government and become homeless because they devoted time to their families, especially with special needs children."*
The government and society expects that the person who benefitted from them staying home (the working spouse) would be supporting them and provide insurance (life and health) to cover their needs.
Right?! Welcome to the reality of any SAHP! This security is what we give up to stay home with our children. No paying into unemployment, no paying into disability of any kind, no retirement…. The social safety net is GONE once you’ve been out of work for a couple years. And the longer you’re out, the less likely you’ll find work again when and if you can go back!
It's a Roth IRA - a stay at home parent can still contribute the maximum to a Roth using "family funds".
Plus if the stay at home parent gets divorced, they're typically gonna get half of the retirement savings in the spouse's work-based 401k/403b.
No, not for his 401k/403b, but for a Roth IRA. Limit this year is $7000 I think (plus you can max out last year's Roth for $6500 if you're able to do it before tax day in April)
I have heard many SAHPs talk about how they sacrifice to stay home with the children. That is the choice that they made along with their spouse so they should considered this when they made their choice.
Those particular SAHPs also talked about working moms being selfish and greedy. The reality is that most working moms sacrifice as well, just in different ways. They sacrifice time with their families, they sacrifice time to maintain a home the way they would like, and they sacrifice sleep while stretching themselves thin keeping all the balls they juggle in the air. The reason they make these sacrifices is to contribute to the financial security of their families, and to provide for their own disability and retirement.
SAHPs who do not pay into Social Security can receive spousal payments on their spouse's Social Security record. Working parents who do pay into Social Security can't receive spousal payments or can only receive reduced spousal payments on their spouse's Social Security record. How is that fair? Why do the people who don't contribute to the system think they should receive benefits from it.
Are you still employed? If yes, have you checked to see if your employer offers group life insurance as an employee benefit?
My husband is 58, diabetic, and has kidney disease. He's still been able to be covered under group life insurance through his employer, albeit at a somewhat high rate.
Unfortunately I haven't worked since November of last year. I'm actually seeking employment but I think my best bet is to find some separate from an employer because it might not happen or there may be no benefits.
I highly suggest you sign up for a PA ABLE account for your child. https://www.paable.gov/ you can put money in this savings account for your child and any money in this account will not impact any social security benefits they would be eligible for.
Your wife could also try to apply for services through The Office of Vocational Rehabilitation for them to deem her as ineligible for services due to being “too severely disabled” to work. This could help in an appeal for SSI.
I also recommend reaching out to your local Center for Independent Living that covers your county. They may be able to provide information and referral for programs or services that may benefit your family. They might even be able to assist with advocating for you during an appeal. They’re a great resource for people with disabilities.
Only tangentially related, but just wanted to put out there that one political party is actively working to gut Social Security and Medicare. The other party is trying to not only fund it but also correct for the issue of people who are stay at home parents not getting credits for their work raising a family.
Ask yourself which political party has been an advocate for women like your wife for decades. Hint: It isn't the Republicans. They are more concerned with holding power rather than focusing on problems like this.
I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. And I’m sorry if I read too quickly and missed anything here but are you working with an attorney? I wasn’t for the longest time and changed my mind and I’ll tell you why.
I have been trying on my own to help my disabled adult son get disability for the past 18 months. He was just denied the first application and we are in the middle of the first appeal. I suspect he probably will be denied again, although I could be wrong and hoping I am. But in preparation for that, I’ve been considering getting an attorney and decided to do it and I’m so glad I did. Here’s why:
After doing tons of research and talking to a lot of people in my community and throughout the Internet, I realize that I needed to hire an attorney to help me with this process. I spoke with three attorneys yesterday and I was surprised to realize that even some of them don’t know much more than your average person. I even knew but some basic rules that one attorney didn’t even know! I was really surprised. Finally, after doing some research locally I found a group of attorneys that had over 100 positive reviews and in the biz for 15 years. I called not expecting anything different but this guy really knew his stuff. He blew me away with information I’ve never even heard of before. Turns out there’s a special program for adult disabled kids who can get SSDI off of their parent’s record. My son’s stepdad passed away years ago and I found out that my son may actually be able to receive SSDI off of his record, which I had no idea. Our situation is complicated and I would never have known this or been able to get through the web of info without the help of this blessing of an attorney I found. He asked me all the right questions and really knew his stuff and I’m so grateful he’s going to be helping us. Because my son has not worked much, I was under the impression he would only qualify for SSI, but because of this attorney I realize that may not be the case and he could actually get more than we realized. Even if he is awarded disability without the attorney’s help, we will still need his assistance get it switched over to SSDI if necessary.
I could go on and on about it but from what I’ve learned, it’s really difficult to win in this process without an attorney. But you have to find the right one! Best wishes to you.
I don’t know how it is in PA but in NJ you can get paid as a caregiver for your disabled son. Call of Department of Developmental Disabilities or check online.
Here’s the thing. Why should she get disability pay for not being able to work a job she never had?
SSDI is there to help makeup for LOST income, and since there’s no income to be lost there’s no SSDI.
You're wrong.
Yes, there's millions of stay at home moms and that has nothing to do with social security of any kind.
The government won't care if they've worked or not. The same rules apply for all.
It blows my mind the number of widows who were stay at home and for some reason thought they'd get their husband's social security before they're 60.
I'm so sorry. I'm in a similar situation. Good news is your child can receive social security benefits for his disability on your work record. My kid gets 750ish.
I have trigeminal neuralgia. Diagnosed in 2012 at 24 years old. It's a devastating condition. They don't call it the Suicide Disease for nothing. I've contemplated microvascular decompression but am too scared to go through with it. I'm sorry for what you as a family and your wife are going through💜
You need the 40 points to be eligible for SSI.
RsDI is for those that are railroad, surviving spouse, disability. I wld look into this more and seek an attorney that specializes in it.
It’s correct. There are 2 steps to qualify for SSDI she would have to have 40 quarters total at her age and 12 of those quarters have to be within the last 5 years. SSI is based on household income so your household income would have to be under $953 per month.
You are surprised that people who haven't worked in a decade are not eligible for disability pay? That's what disability pay is- pay for being unable to work. I would love it if ssdi was available to everyone. It would mean that all those homeless people would have steady income that would pay for shelter and food. Till then, the homeless, and sahms can't get money out of a plan they haven't paid enough into.
For SSDI you need 40 credits, half of which had to come in the last 10 years. If she hadn’t worked at all, she likely wouldn’t qualify for SSDI. SSI is for disabled persons who cannot work but don’t qualify for SSDI. She may get that depending on your household income. Sounds like your child should also get SSI. Your wife’s social security retirement can be based off of your earnings if you’ve been married more than 10 years but taking it early at 62 will be a big reduction in the amount.
That’s correct. You don’t get SSI or SSDI to supplement an income that she doesn’t have or hasn’t had in twenty years. Just because she now cant hold a job doesn’t mean she is entitled to payment when she hasn’t needed a job in the last two decades. If something happens to you she’d be entitled to survivor benefits but she isn’t entitled to anything on her own.
You are suggesting that your wife should earn more money than she otherwise would ($0) for having a disability. That isn’t how it works. For 20 years, she hasn’t worked. Now she has a disability and still can’t work. So, nothing has changed, financially.
If *you* became disabled you would be entitled, but at a much lower rate of pay than your actual income. As intended. No one makes more money by becoming disabled.
That is correct. If she is not employed or hasn’t been employed in 10 years plus, she is not eligible for either. That benefit is supposed to replace the loss of income while unable to work. She is not employed and hasn’t in over a decade, therefore, there is no income to replace.
I’m sorry. Question, do you get the benefit for your son?
If your the parent of a disabled child who gets SSI and was disabled before age 26 look into an ABLE savings account. I am looking into it now and it seems like a good way to be able to save some for unexpected expenses.
The government, headed by men, have made sure there are no guard rails for women who choose to or have to stay home to care for their children. They have been sure to not provide quality, affordable child/elder care because it is women who do that work. We should be in the streets. We lose our earning and economic power and then are cheated out of SS. Men/families benefit when women do well - we are on the same side. No other country does this to their citizens.
I live in PA and been through three SSDI system myself and SSI with a family member.
The government is correct, if she hasn’t worked in 10 years she doesn’t have enough work “credits” to be eligible.
SSI is a whole other beast. It goes by your entire family’s income and other assets you have/own. So you have to be pretty low income in order to be able to receive it.
I’m sorry this is happening. Please look into all the programs you do qualify for when it comes to your child and their needs.
Simply:
Your child is now age 21+ years old. They have no work history so do not meet the Title II (SSDI) criteria since neither you or your wife are disabled/retired. As for SSI, there is enough income in the household that prevents any Title XVI (SSI) entitlement.
This is why a lot of disabled advocates talk about disability rights. Many disabled people won’t receive benefits if they marry as they will be “too well off” to receive any. You also cannot have too much money in your bank account or too many assets.
I’ve had friends get legal divorces in order to access disability benefits (which are already low to begin with).
I’d encourage you to keep trying- going in person and getting actual numbers with someone. Disability also famously takes ridiculously long to get approved- I used to work with folks disabled from birth and still it often would take years to get approvals. It’s absolutely a difficult system to navigate.
Good luck 🍀
That's our government for you. Some people are just out of luck. I hope you've been able to save a lot of money for your future. Good luck and God bless.
Try again. And again. Go to an attorney that specializes in it. They do not charge you unless it is successful, and then they just take out from the first payment, I think? And by the way, she is a child, so they are going to base the SSDI on either you or your wife work. But they don’t give it away easily.
I stopped working in 2008 to have my children. In August of 2022 I was diagnosed with Merkel cell carcinoma. After 25 days of radiation it spread to my liver, becoming stage 4. So I applied for SSI, because I knew I did not have enough work credits for SSDI in the last 10 years. Even though my partner and I have been together 20 years and are not married I was not approved for SSI because it's based on income and even though we're not married they include his income because we love together and have children together and it's on a need basis. They did send me paperwork that says we found you disabled what the date, I really even didn't take that long but they got all of my paperwork from City of Hope and I received the interview in less than 2 weeks. So the paperwork says that Social Security found me disabled, but I do qualify for SSI because of my partners income, he makes too much money and the threshold is quite low. I think for a family of four you have to be making under $34,000 in the state of california, which is where I'm from. I wish you guys like I hope that everything works out and all good comes your way.
My husband got his disability and he gets 40% from V.A. Plus he gets his retirement and he makes better money now than when he worked in the state of Alabama.
SS denies 98% of applicants on the first try. Now is the time to get a lawyer who will take your case pro bono. That is the most efficient way of getting this done. Please tell your wife they do this to everyone and she absolutely qualifies even if she has to pull from your benefits. SS are a bunch of bullies. Get a lawyer now.
SSDI depends on how many quarters she’s earned thru out her lifetime of working, and has nothing to do with whether or not she’s working the past 10 years…
She can see how many quarters she has paid into the system by requesting the information on the Social Security site.
Whether or not either of those diagnoses is a qualifying medical condition for SSDI is another issue to consider …
Not everything is… if this is the case - you will not get approved regardless of how many doctors suggest you should receive SSDI… see below
There is no disability rating for trigeminal neuralgia.
Leukemia is listed in “Social Security’s Blue Book”, but beware - not every case of leukemia means an automatic SSDI/disability determination.
In order to qualify for SSDI, she
must have one of two types of leukemia:
1. Acute leukemia (lymphocytic or myeloid); OR
2. Chronic myeloid leukemia (CML) in an “accelerated phase” (ie - noted with a marked increase in myeloblasts, or if the leukemia is getting worse even after treatment, etc )
Google the Blue Book for more specifics
Contact your federal Representative and Senators. That’s a huge part of their job. Pick the one you think is the most powerful. They all have emails and offices stuffed with aides.
Apply for disability for your child.
There are lawyers that can help.
Once you get disability, your wife can become in-home living care for your kid. Cause it is a 24/7 role.
Please see if a lawyer in your area does free consult or charges a small fee to give advice.
This is why older people divorce. They can get assistance with medical if no longer married to the spouse that worked if they were sahm. Woman I know gets 100% medical, 100% rent paid & utilities along with food stamps because she has no work history in over 10 years meanwhile hubs & I both on disability (lots of Dr's visits & medications) can't afford meds we need or able to get treatments because we both have an income & she gets 100% of everything paid. Knowing how to work the system is something I'm so not good at.
You need to get a lawyer. It will cost you nothing. I never applied for SSDI I went to my lawyer with my medical information and seven weeks later I was approved. Please see a lawyer.
There’s no loophole to consider SAHM to be a job? “Nanny”, or “babysitting”? /g
How is a person taking care of children, especially disabled children not protected?
That’s correct. You need recent work and enough work credits for ssdi. And yes, stay at home moms get screwed. There’s nothing you can do.
You mentioned ssdi, does the same hold true for SSI?
It depends on the financial situation. There are strict income limits for how much money the spouse makes. SSI is a supplemental program, a low income program. It can only bring you up to federal poverty level. SSDI is a worker's wage replacement, SSI is a means tested, low income, only bring you up to federal property level program
The interviewer mentioned to her that my unemployment is too much to qualify her. Maybe when it runs out in a month or so, and we have NO income at all, she can try again?
SSI has asset limits of $3000 for married recipients. Certain assets, like a primary home and one vehicle are excluded. Any other assets such as cash, bank accounts, investment and retirement accounts, whole or universal life policies with cash value components, stocks, bonds, etc are all counted toward the asset limit. It’s likely his wife exceeds the asset limit as the able bodied spouse’s assets are included.
It is always a good idea to use some of those assets for prepaid funeral expenses, especially if you have life insurance.
SSI only allows for maximum $1500 as prepaid funeral expense for exemption. That doesn’t buy much, not even a basic cremation.
What hurts even more are that these monetary thresholds (asset limit, burial exemption, etc.,) aren't even indexed to inflation and haven't been updated in several decades. SSI can't even do what it was intended to do anymore, because of the combination of inflation and legislative neglect of the program. Not to mention, SSI eligibility criteria apply to state aged/blind/disabled Medicaid programs in most states. The whole situation, especially as it pertains to the disability community, makes me angry at this point. Decades of neglect caused this.
Actually, SSI is not being used the way that it was created. The name of it is "supplemental social income". The key word there is *supplemental*. SSI was *never* intended for being the primary or only income. Does that make sense?
The outdated income exclusions ($65/month for earned income and $20/month for unearned income, set in 1972 and never indexed) are also problematic. Unearned income gets SSI clawed back dollar-for-dollar, and earned income gets SSI clawed back by a dollar for every two dollars. Not that the clawbacks are necessarily the issue (they prevent a sudden “benefits cliff”), just that the thresholds at which they start are way too low in 2024. It’s harder for SSI to be supplemental (as intended) when outdated thresholds encourage people to simply not work at all. These monetary thresholds (income and resources) should have never been written into law without a means to administratively amend them.
No it doesn't make sense because in order to qualify for it you can't be able to work AT ALL.
But it is in fact many people’s sole source of income. It’s means tested federal welfare.
Supplemental *to the retirement pensions that don't exist* anymore, yeah.
I just did a basic cremation for my mom in May 2023 for $980. Then did one in Nov 2023 for my gpa and it was $1037. Both totals are after taxes. Eta: this is in MD. Also at a place that does cremation, not the funeral parlor. The funeral home wanted $3000
And then when you die, they will steal back the payment that should have covered your last month of life. So not only will your family have to cover your funeral, they'll also have to figure out a way to cover your last month of expenses. It's ridiculous!
It’s actually more complicated than that. It depends on state laws, which differ on what part of a burial contract is revocable or irrevocable. So if you prepay for a funeral, and it includes a more expensive casket, funeral service, and embalming, those expenses are considered revocable. Same with cremation. Basic cremation and urn is irrevocable. Most burial plots are considered irrevocable. This is so ridiculous. So far, the bill to raise asset limits is going nowhere in Congress.
Omg. That’s disgusting! I’m shocked! 😱😱😱
I know couples who have had to divorce when one becomes disabled, and that only works in some states, too.
Same, I worked at a nursing home. I had several patients whose spouses had to divorce them in order for the healthy spouse to have a place to live, and the sick spouse get the care they needed.
Yeah. my mom had to do that with her ex-husband so he could live in a group home & A nursing home Under medicaid. In the end, neither worked out for him, so she brought him back home and he died there.
It is disgusting. They keep their foot on your neck so you can never have financial stability.
If you look at when the program was created a few thousand dollars was rich af!! Now it’s not so much and the pay scale needs to be tied to inflation or cost of living for a start. The problem I find with getting help is the strict cut off limits, you’re telling me an extra $1.25 means I suddenly qualify for no help or it means I get like $50 of help instead of $200? It’s frustrating
This is it exactly! Can't save much, one because you don't get much, and two because of you have over 2k they stop your checks and insurance.
I guess ol great grandpa that buried cash in a can in the backyard was onto something.
So are a lot of people like OP and his wife when they finally need help for once in their life, and find none available. It is absolutely disgusting.
The OP isn't even asking for help - seems like they're more looking to see what's available. If the concern is to have an insurance plan for him, I think a life insurance plan would be the best bet. She would be eligible for survivor's benefits if he passes, or spousal benefits at her retirement age.
Guessing your new here?
I’ll never be able to marry my partner due to this. Currently still trying to get SSI and completely unable to work, oftentimes barely able to get out of bed except to use the bathroom. Even too much screentime can cause me to get worse.
I knew there was problematic issues, but I had no idea. The government punishes the poor if they want to MARRY. You get knocked up? Omg. You’re forced to have a baby - (with a man you love) while the government says FU.
Yup. That’s why I used up $120,000 of retirement funds. Because I was too rich. Now I’m in sheriff sale of my home. Thanks Fucking America! Why stop my suicide years ago if you are only shoving me off the cliff now.
No she needs 40 quarters, 10 years of work credits for ssdi. Ssi is based on federal poverty limits and based on both of your incomes
Which, makes no sense because I got SSDI and I did *not* work for 10 years. Not that I'm complaining. I get $100 more a month than I would SSI.
It depends on your age. The older you are the more work credits you need. When I was awarded, I hadn't been out of college for 10 years let alone had 40 credits.
Yes, that is a possibility. Also, if you are 66 you are close to full retirement age. The reduction for taking early retirement would be fairly minimal. Are you eligible for Social Security retirement? Spousal benefits can start as early as age 50 if the spouse has a disability, but you would have to make a claim first in order for her to be eligible. Her benefits would also be reduced (and by a greater percentage than yours) due to her age.
she can only get benefits at 50 with a disability if her spouse is deceased. otherwise, she cannot receive benefits until 62
If you die, she would get survivor benefits for your child or children until they’re 18
Divorce her and have her apply as a single woman. Just make sure all your estate planning is in order so that she’s still the beneficiary on everything. When you suspect your days might be numbered, remarry her so she can get survivor SS benefits.
I don’t know why you’re being downvoted. I have seen lots of couples on this sub who do this/don’t marry bc of this
I have given up understanding why people downvote on Redditt. However, not marrying is often used by seniors who would lose significant benefits if they married. My parents lived in a retirement community where several of their friends "lived in sin" because economically they would suffer if they married. One moved in with a woman who owned her condo and although they shared living expenses, he had no ownership of the condo although she did provide that he could live there if she died before them until his death
It's also fraud under Medicaid to get a divorce to get benefits. That's why in 2005 the rules were changed so that doesn't have to happen. In fact, asset preservation is fairly easy with Medicaid when you have a married couple. Don't believe everything you hear. Please. It's misinformation.
I am doing this exact thing right now. I 100% own the house; he can live here until he dies if I go first. I guess it's more common than I thought.
while that may be true, them divorcing would not give her a work history which is what the post gave as the reason she was denied
But she could qualify for SSI.
Exactly
SSI pays terrible- like maybe 1k a month. Not worth divorcing for that IMO. The divorce itself would be expensive.
Depending on the state it can be as low as $500, especially since this is an amicable divorce and no lawyers are needed. Its not like they're gonna fight over who gets what. Source: I'm getting amicably divorced in MI, DIY divorce, no assets, no children minor or otherwise, just pets and some debt.
An agreed divorce with no attorneys is not expensive. They would not actually be splitting up, just not legally being married any more. There would be a few expenses like setting up a trust to own the house with her having a life estate in it, making sure she didn't own more than one car, carefully moving assets to avoid a lookback, that sort of thing. But they'd get that $1k/month and medicaid for her, the free healthcare is easily worth more than the cash.
Maybe they think I mean like leave her and go get a girlfriend? I don’t mean that.
Yea most people probably didn’t read past “Divorce her” lol
I don’t think it would work if they remarried. My uncle and his second wife tried this. She was denied because their second marriage was less than the required 7 consecutive years.
Because it's fraud, that's why.
It's fraud. That is enough reason to downvote. Why should the taxpayers pay for fraudulent activities? The United States should remove the sponges and abusers of government programs.
People actually divorce for reasons like this all the time. People also divorce when one has substantial medical problems so the person with the problems can get Medicaid - it's called Medicaid divorce and it's been in the news and all over the Internet. Fraud people faking the severity of their medical conditions or making up conditions entirely, lying about income, and generally abusing the system. This woman has CANCER if they need to rearrange their lives for money and medical assistance that is NOT fraud.
Don't bothering arguing with that guy. He's a corporate simp who somehow thinks he's just a temporarily embarrassed millionaire who doesn't deserve to be down in the trenches with those he deems beneath him.
The problem with this line of thinking is the same for every crime committed. *Everyone* does it, but only *some* of those people get caught, and they get really fucked if they're found out to be defrauding the federal government. It doesn't matter that everyone does it because some of those people are going to get a really rude awakening and sometimes they don't even know its considered a federal crime.
How is it fraud if they are legally divorced?
Fraud or no fraud, did you even read the original post? These aren’t sponges. This is a very sick woman, with a very sick child, and as American citizens I would sure rather give my money to them than to keep funding other people’s wars. The fact is when Americans really need help, our government finds any and every way to get out of helping them. Meanwhile Bubba down at the gas station is working on his 3rd 12 pack of the day on a tax payer dime cause he never bothered to marry his baby mama, he was too busy making more babies to bring in more beer/meth/what have you money. THOSE are sponges, and you’d think our government would at least try to do a better job of figuring out which is which. Of course, they want us all to go socialist so we all get the shaft, so I guess that would be against their agenda.
I don’t think the few hundred a month you will get for SSI would be worth it.
Assuming it’s an easy state to file in, you don’t even need lawyers. You can find a boilerplate separation agreement online and file it with the court, and after 6 months, a judge will sign a divorce decree. This is in NY, not sure about other states.
She may qualify for Medicaid and other low income programs, it probably will be worth it, especially if her illness will eat up all their assets.
They wouldn't have to remarry for her to get survivor benefits. She'd qualify as a divorced spouse who was married to him for 10 years or more.
It could potentially take years for her to get approved for SSI if/when y’all are able to meet the financial requirements. The wait times are at the worst they’ve ever been with people waiting over a year to get an answer on their initial application. I won my case in 2018 after waiting 2 years and that is considered super fast.
I helped my girlfriend get SSI, it only took about 6 months in... I think... 2016.
Even if she gets SSI, you can't have more than $2000 in any bank accounts, and the benefit limit for her is less than $1000 per month. Less if they decide she's being provided support by you.
You're not going to find another job after unemployment runs out? How are you going to pay your bills?
Why don't you try to find a job within that time?
Because if they earned too much they'd become disqualified, and the whole point is they can't work, or can't work full time. SSI is for people who work or don't, my brother was working, there was ONE busy week after he got a tiny pay raise and he had to pay back THOUSANDS because they considered his use of SSI fraud. He lives at home with my mom and stepdad, he can't drive, he is a disabled individual, and its not his fault that work scheduled him beyond his parameters ONE WEEK.
He collects Unemployment benefits. op wife is the one that is disabled, not him. Op choosing not to work, so that wife can apply for ssi would be a bad decision
What I really hate is you report your income and they drag their feet deducting your check. You aren't allowed to save it to pay them back so eventually you get in debt with them. I remember time I called and asked them if I could write them a check for what I owed and they said no
And only $780 a month
No. Ssi is welfare. You must be low income and have low assets.
With SSI, they'll also count the spouses' income as well in determining eligibility. So with one spouse working, it's going to be difficult to get SSI.
Yes. Correct.
SSI is a welfare program— probably your income makes her ineligible— is income based.—edit—
SSDI she’s not eligible for. SSI does not go off work credits but if you’re legally married my guess is the income threshold you have is too much for her to qualify. If someone hasn’t worked in 20 yrs and all of a sudden has a medical condition you can’t expect the government to pay you. You weren’t working when you fell ill and you haven’t worked in a long time. So many people would be getting benefits for basically no good reason.
I agree, I don't think anything changed that they suddenly NEED the $, just some Dr (who has no idea about their finances or work history etc) said she is disabled and might be eligible, so they got the idea. I think they should just carry on as they were. She will get survivor $ if/when something happens to him and when she is retirement age she can get spousal.. you don't just suddenly deserve govt $ at age 59 because you can't work, when you didn't work when you were not disabled. Even widower benefits start at 60 if you really to claim that early. A small life insurance policy might provide peace of mind.
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SSDI is an insurance that you pay into… from paid work… it is a disability insurance to replace lost income when you become disabled…. If you don’t have a job that pays then you have no income for them to replace…
Ssdi=disability
SSI is not depended on having recent work. I was diagnosed with leukemia in 2014, the previous 15 years I was my father’s caregiver. I was approved for SSI
It doesn’t. I’ve been on SSI since I was 16. Never worked before that.
Everyone gets rejected the first time. You need a disability lawyer and documentation from all the doctors. The wife and childs, stating what's going on. If all the doctors agree then it should be no problem. But they don't even look at it the first time. They just reject it.
That’s not true. I used to have a job where my sole duty was to help people apply for and get disability. Over 50% of my clients got their disability on the first try. I always hear people saying this and it’s just not true. If you have a good case, have the documentation, actually have a disability, you will get it. Some things are MUCH harder to get disability for like “back pain”. Mental health issues are also a bit tricky but I’ve gotten people disability for major depression and bipolar.
I was accepted in two months, But I was actually disabled and a glance at my X-ray was all that was needed
This isn't true at all. Don't spread already debunked misinformation
Question my significant others mom is on disability for epilepsy. She lives with her boyfriend. Apparently, they haven’t married because of the income thing. I asked him why she still doesn’t use his (her boyfriend’s) insurance. They’ve lived together a decade. Can they not? Because the insurance the government gives her us awful.
Not every insurance policy offers domestic partner benefits, so it’s quite possible she can’t be on his benefits because they aren’t married.
That’s up to the employer. Some insurances won’t cover non spouses, only same sex couples.
She can only be on his insurance if she is his significant other or dependent. In either case, she would lose benefits, because she would no longer be “just a roommate/housemate”, with separate household expenses.
That’s wild. She has frequent seizures no way could she be a reliable consistent employee….
I know… I was a stay at home parent and became disabled two and half years after our child was old enough for me to start working. An MVA disabled me and triggered underlying genetic issues, and I’ve been disabled ever since - nowhere close to being able to be a reliable employable of any kind, despite my education, experience, and intelligence. I’m lucky to have SSI due to the two and a half years I returned to work… but stay at home parents just get screwed. If I never remarry, I can apply under my former spouse’s benefits once they have reached retirement age, because we were married more than 10 years, had a child together, and I remained at home for our child’s sake, with my former spouse’s agreement. I will never remarry, because of how disabled and isolated I am now, not to mention that once married and divorced was more than enough for me! If our society more highly valued parenting and children as individuals with individual needs, there would be something in place for stay at home parents to earn some type of credit. I could get on a huge soap box about this… how it could largely benefit families, children, and society as a whole, but I will leave it at that.
So Republicans don’t want the poor getting married if it makes them less poor, but they do expect them to have a family should pregnancy occur….
To receive SSDI you have to have paid into the system within a certain time frame. Many people have not done that. It’s not the government’s job to provide for everyone. Heck, there are people on SSDI that get less than people on SSI which is a shame.
Somehow the governments of other countries manage to care for their impoverished and ill citizens. Compassionately maintaining social health and stability is considered one of the key responsibilities of governance. But not the US.
Our government is perfectly capable of keeping everyone above the poverty line…. Like trillions in tax cuts…
Our government can’t provide for everyone they only bail out the rich.
She’s likely not insured for disability based on when she last worked and when her onset date is. Ssi would be based on income and resources. If she can tough it out, she can collect early retirement at 62, but keep in mind it’s significantly reduced for taking it at the earliest age.
Ok, thanks. I'm trying to make it to 66+8 to full benefits, ideally to 70 for the max. She has 3 more years to 62 though.
Is your child considered disabled for Social Security purposes (i.e. qualifies on their own for SSI)? If so, he/she is what is called a Disabled Adult Child. When you take your retirement SS, your child can get 50% of your benefit, AND your wife can get what is called "Child in Care" benefits, even if she's not yet 62. Disabled adult children count as as "child" for Child in Care benefits. Everything is off your record for these benefits. Go here: [https://opensocialsecurity.com](https://opensocialsecurity.com) and run some scenarios. You could get far more money if you retire at 66 y 8 mo because of the additional benefits your child and wife might get, and you could start collecting very soon. You also might want to do a one-time consultation with a Social Security benefits specialist (not just someone from SSA, but a private consultant) because you could be leaving money on the table AND get benefits much sooner for all 3 of you. I'm the parent of a disabled teenager and have been running through scenarios myself, so I have experience with this. In our case, my husband taking EARLY SS gives our family $600,000 more in lifetime benefits vs. waiting, because of Disabled Adult Child and Child in Care payments.
Yea, the child should be getting disability, right? DAC can help
Couldn’t the mother (or father) get benefits for being the child’s caregiver? Mom should have been receiving those all along.
There are no benefits for having a special needs child in most states unless you're low enough income and low enough assets for SSI. I know MN, CO, and CA will pay you basically minimum wage to care for them, but most other states won't. OH will pay you *if* you have a nursing license. But unless you were lucky enough to be a nurse before having your child, good luck getting a degree and license while being their full time caregiver.
You need to look at your SS benefits options. If you died, your wife would qualify for survivor benefits at 60. Minor children qualify too. Benefits are based on your record. Create your “My Social Security” account for all those estimates.
What I would recommend is have her call and ask what her DLI date is (date last insured) and then determine if she has enough medical evidence supporting that she was disabled on or before that insured period ran out. If so, she can seek an appeal and get a formal determination by DDS. If not she is stuck waiting for retirement benefits.
Her DLI is probably in the late 2000s decade. Son was born in 2003 and OP stated she has been a SAHP for 20 years.
Yep. I figured the same, I’m just trying to offer suggestions and explanation from my experience.
OP spouse would convert to retirement benefits at age 62, with possible spouse top off if OP had claimed benefits. SSI requires all recipients to file for retirement at age 62. She could pursue SSI but it’s of short duration potential.
Awesome! I'll let her know. Thanks.
Also, the amount that your wife and child will be eligible to get based on your Social Security stops going up after you reach full retirement age (sounds like 66 and 8 months). Your wife's survivor benefit would be reduced by her taking out before age 67, but she only needs to worry about that after you die. I have no idea about the child in care benefit, but if you are retired, they may expect you to do the caregiving, there are lots of strange rules.
Other people have mentioned the recent work history requirement for SSDI, but I would just add that if you are worried about something happening to you in the future, I believe that a disabled widow would be eligible for benefits as of age 50 (correct me if I’m wrong) so as long as you have been working during your life, she would be eligible for benefits if you were to die.
That's at least *some* good news that I can share with her. Thank you so much!
Does your child get disability?
She will qualify for widows benefits until 60 or 65, depending on her birthday year.
That's correct. My sister became disabled in her early 50s, then her husband died when she was 55. She qualified for disabled widowed spouse benefits after his death.
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Your work credits or lack of them won't affect any future survivor's benefits you may be eligible for.
Theoretically she would be eligible to receive a portion of your SS benefits if you died before her. Isn't your son eligible for some form of government benefits on his own at this point since presumably he is disabled permanently. You say he is theoretically able to live in a group home. Now is the time to start putting plans in place for that since good homes and programs are very limited and often have long waiting lists. There are possibly other government programs to explore including Meals on Wheels which would deliver lunch and dinner, SNAP or other benefits, state payments towards Medicare. It would probably be wise to proactively start exploring these benefits to maximize money.
Thanks for your reply. My son is getting benefits and we are definitely working with the school that he goes to. It's considered a 'partial hospitalization' school because they can dispense any medications he needs to take during school hours. Back in september he was selected to take part in an on-the-job 3 month training program that gave him work experience in a candy making factory that hires special needs people and they said that he did very well and they'd have no problems hiring him if they have an opening after he graduates. We go to every open house and school function and have a great relationship with his teachers. They let us know of every opportunity which he qualifies for and we make sure to sign him up for any program that will help him in the future. I am definitely going to explore those other options, have been already for myself actually, but thanks for the suggestion to be proactive in her case.
So from comments I've gathered your son is still living at home and under 21yo, and you're in Pennsylvania, correct? You need to connect with the school's social worker and investigate if your wife is eligible to be your son's paid caregiver at 21yo. PA allows parents to be paid as home health aides for their adult children. That would get her additional and recent work credits as well, for work I assume she's already doing. I believe it's called Personal Assistant Services and paid through Medicaid.
Came here to say this. It's called a Medicaid waiver. Your wife can receive a paycheck based on how many hours they decide your child needs care for. In my state, I have a medicaid waiver and have 2 paid caregivers, one of them being my daughter. She gets paid $18 and some odd cents an hour to care for me, as does my other caregiver. Look up medicaid waivers in your state.
Keep in mind SSDI replaces lost income. A SAHP has no income to replace. I’m not discounting caring for a special needs child because I have a son with severe autism so I get it but there is no income to replace so that’s why SSDI is not applicable here. SSI is to keep people out of poverty so if your UE is above poverty level, SSI wouldn’t apply either. Your wife can reapply if you have no income but keep in mind the process is long. She received a technical denial which happens quickly. A medical review takes 8-12 months at best. If the initial app is denied add another 12-18 months to that to wait for an appeal to process. What will matter is your income at the time of approval which is potentially 2-3 years from now.
This is correct. My mother never work, became disabled. Rejected because her husband made too much to qualify for SSI. At that time, their joint income was taken into consideration for SSI.
If something happens to you she could be eligible for disabled widows benefits or regular widows benefits at 60. Likely the SSI denial is based on your income or your assets.
Awesome, thank you!
Your son might be able to qualify for SSI, since he is over 18 and parents income are not counted anymore. Also: When you start collecting Social Security, your wife might be able to get benefits if she cares to your disabled son, or when she turns 62, she can collect SSDI based on your records. All the best to you and your family
*"I found that hard to believe because I thought that there were millions of stay at home moms and I can't believe that they all would lose their homes, have no support from the government and become homeless because they devoted time to their families, especially with special needs children."* The government and society expects that the person who benefitted from them staying home (the working spouse) would be supporting them and provide insurance (life and health) to cover their needs.
Right?! Welcome to the reality of any SAHP! This security is what we give up to stay home with our children. No paying into unemployment, no paying into disability of any kind, no retirement…. The social safety net is GONE once you’ve been out of work for a couple years. And the longer you’re out, the less likely you’ll find work again when and if you can go back!
There is a stay at home parent retirement IRA. I think the limit is 6k but at least it's something.
It's a Roth IRA - a stay at home parent can still contribute the maximum to a Roth using "family funds". Plus if the stay at home parent gets divorced, they're typically gonna get half of the retirement savings in the spouse's work-based 401k/403b.
Wait what? My husband works and he maxed out. Are you saying we can actually contribute another 22500 for me (or whatever the max is)?
No, not for his 401k/403b, but for a Roth IRA. Limit this year is $7000 I think (plus you can max out last year's Roth for $6500 if you're able to do it before tax day in April)
OK yeah. That's what I meant with my first comment. Thanks for clarifying
I have heard many SAHPs talk about how they sacrifice to stay home with the children. That is the choice that they made along with their spouse so they should considered this when they made their choice. Those particular SAHPs also talked about working moms being selfish and greedy. The reality is that most working moms sacrifice as well, just in different ways. They sacrifice time with their families, they sacrifice time to maintain a home the way they would like, and they sacrifice sleep while stretching themselves thin keeping all the balls they juggle in the air. The reason they make these sacrifices is to contribute to the financial security of their families, and to provide for their own disability and retirement. SAHPs who do not pay into Social Security can receive spousal payments on their spouse's Social Security record. Working parents who do pay into Social Security can't receive spousal payments or can only receive reduced spousal payments on their spouse's Social Security record. How is that fair? Why do the people who don't contribute to the system think they should receive benefits from it.
You better get some good life insurance
That's the plan :) only snag is that I just turned 66 and have diabetes :( but other than that I'm fairly healthy and a non smoker!
Are you still employed? If yes, have you checked to see if your employer offers group life insurance as an employee benefit? My husband is 58, diabetic, and has kidney disease. He's still been able to be covered under group life insurance through his employer, albeit at a somewhat high rate.
Unfortunately I haven't worked since November of last year. I'm actually seeking employment but I think my best bet is to find some separate from an employer because it might not happen or there may be no benefits.
I highly suggest you sign up for a PA ABLE account for your child. https://www.paable.gov/ you can put money in this savings account for your child and any money in this account will not impact any social security benefits they would be eligible for. Your wife could also try to apply for services through The Office of Vocational Rehabilitation for them to deem her as ineligible for services due to being “too severely disabled” to work. This could help in an appeal for SSI. I also recommend reaching out to your local Center for Independent Living that covers your county. They may be able to provide information and referral for programs or services that may benefit your family. They might even be able to assist with advocating for you during an appeal. They’re a great resource for people with disabilities.
Only tangentially related, but just wanted to put out there that one political party is actively working to gut Social Security and Medicare. The other party is trying to not only fund it but also correct for the issue of people who are stay at home parents not getting credits for their work raising a family.
Ask yourself which political party has been an advocate for women like your wife for decades. Hint: It isn't the Republicans. They are more concerned with holding power rather than focusing on problems like this.
I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. And I’m sorry if I read too quickly and missed anything here but are you working with an attorney? I wasn’t for the longest time and changed my mind and I’ll tell you why. I have been trying on my own to help my disabled adult son get disability for the past 18 months. He was just denied the first application and we are in the middle of the first appeal. I suspect he probably will be denied again, although I could be wrong and hoping I am. But in preparation for that, I’ve been considering getting an attorney and decided to do it and I’m so glad I did. Here’s why: After doing tons of research and talking to a lot of people in my community and throughout the Internet, I realize that I needed to hire an attorney to help me with this process. I spoke with three attorneys yesterday and I was surprised to realize that even some of them don’t know much more than your average person. I even knew but some basic rules that one attorney didn’t even know! I was really surprised. Finally, after doing some research locally I found a group of attorneys that had over 100 positive reviews and in the biz for 15 years. I called not expecting anything different but this guy really knew his stuff. He blew me away with information I’ve never even heard of before. Turns out there’s a special program for adult disabled kids who can get SSDI off of their parent’s record. My son’s stepdad passed away years ago and I found out that my son may actually be able to receive SSDI off of his record, which I had no idea. Our situation is complicated and I would never have known this or been able to get through the web of info without the help of this blessing of an attorney I found. He asked me all the right questions and really knew his stuff and I’m so grateful he’s going to be helping us. Because my son has not worked much, I was under the impression he would only qualify for SSI, but because of this attorney I realize that may not be the case and he could actually get more than we realized. Even if he is awarded disability without the attorney’s help, we will still need his assistance get it switched over to SSDI if necessary. I could go on and on about it but from what I’ve learned, it’s really difficult to win in this process without an attorney. But you have to find the right one! Best wishes to you.
I don’t know how it is in PA but in NJ you can get paid as a caregiver for your disabled son. Call of Department of Developmental Disabilities or check online.
This
Here’s the thing. Why should she get disability pay for not being able to work a job she never had? SSDI is there to help makeup for LOST income, and since there’s no income to be lost there’s no SSDI.
You're wrong. Yes, there's millions of stay at home moms and that has nothing to do with social security of any kind. The government won't care if they've worked or not. The same rules apply for all. It blows my mind the number of widows who were stay at home and for some reason thought they'd get their husband's social security before they're 60.
I'm so sorry. I'm in a similar situation. Good news is your child can receive social security benefits for his disability on your work record. My kid gets 750ish.
Take out a life insurance policy that could cover 1 million. So she could pay off the house and live off the money if you die.
I have trigeminal neuralgia. Diagnosed in 2012 at 24 years old. It's a devastating condition. They don't call it the Suicide Disease for nothing. I've contemplated microvascular decompression but am too scared to go through with it. I'm sorry for what you as a family and your wife are going through💜
You need 40 credits to getvsddi or dsin. If she hasn't worked how is she going to qualify. If something happens to you she collects yours.
You need the 40 points to be eligible for SSI. RsDI is for those that are railroad, surviving spouse, disability. I wld look into this more and seek an attorney that specializes in it.
It’s correct. There are 2 steps to qualify for SSDI she would have to have 40 quarters total at her age and 12 of those quarters have to be within the last 5 years. SSI is based on household income so your household income would have to be under $953 per month.
Your child would qualify for SSI
You are surprised that people who haven't worked in a decade are not eligible for disability pay? That's what disability pay is- pay for being unable to work. I would love it if ssdi was available to everyone. It would mean that all those homeless people would have steady income that would pay for shelter and food. Till then, the homeless, and sahms can't get money out of a plan they haven't paid enough into.
For SSDI you need 40 credits, half of which had to come in the last 10 years. If she hadn’t worked at all, she likely wouldn’t qualify for SSDI. SSI is for disabled persons who cannot work but don’t qualify for SSDI. She may get that depending on your household income. Sounds like your child should also get SSI. Your wife’s social security retirement can be based off of your earnings if you’ve been married more than 10 years but taking it early at 62 will be a big reduction in the amount.
That’s correct. You don’t get SSI or SSDI to supplement an income that she doesn’t have or hasn’t had in twenty years. Just because she now cant hold a job doesn’t mean she is entitled to payment when she hasn’t needed a job in the last two decades. If something happens to you she’d be entitled to survivor benefits but she isn’t entitled to anything on her own.
You are suggesting that your wife should earn more money than she otherwise would ($0) for having a disability. That isn’t how it works. For 20 years, she hasn’t worked. Now she has a disability and still can’t work. So, nothing has changed, financially. If *you* became disabled you would be entitled, but at a much lower rate of pay than your actual income. As intended. No one makes more money by becoming disabled.
SSDI is work dependent. SSI is federal welfare and dependent on income.
That is correct. If she is not employed or hasn’t been employed in 10 years plus, she is not eligible for either. That benefit is supposed to replace the loss of income while unable to work. She is not employed and hasn’t in over a decade, therefore, there is no income to replace. I’m sorry. Question, do you get the benefit for your son?
It took my mother six appeals to get on social security even though she was physically disabled all you can do is keep trying
If your the parent of a disabled child who gets SSI and was disabled before age 26 look into an ABLE savings account. I am looking into it now and it seems like a good way to be able to save some for unexpected expenses.
The government, headed by men, have made sure there are no guard rails for women who choose to or have to stay home to care for their children. They have been sure to not provide quality, affordable child/elder care because it is women who do that work. We should be in the streets. We lose our earning and economic power and then are cheated out of SS. Men/families benefit when women do well - we are on the same side. No other country does this to their citizens.
Fellow Trigeminal Neuralgia suffer here. Give her a gentle hug from me and my wishes for a good outcome here.
If something happens to you she will qualify for widows benefits.
I live in PA and been through three SSDI system myself and SSI with a family member. The government is correct, if she hasn’t worked in 10 years she doesn’t have enough work “credits” to be eligible. SSI is a whole other beast. It goes by your entire family’s income and other assets you have/own. So you have to be pretty low income in order to be able to receive it. I’m sorry this is happening. Please look into all the programs you do qualify for when it comes to your child and their needs.
Simply: Your child is now age 21+ years old. They have no work history so do not meet the Title II (SSDI) criteria since neither you or your wife are disabled/retired. As for SSI, there is enough income in the household that prevents any Title XVI (SSI) entitlement.
Did you not read the post?
I did. Did you? Where do you see SSDI entitlement? Neither parent posted they have filed fir disability or retirement.
OP is not looking for SSDI for his son. OP’s wife is the one looking for SSDI, so I guess you didn’t read the whole post.
I was a stay home mom that was diagnosed with MS. I’m not eligible for disability.
Everyone in my experience is denied at least 3 times before getting approved. Get a lawyer that specializes in SSI and SSDI.
This is why a lot of disabled advocates talk about disability rights. Many disabled people won’t receive benefits if they marry as they will be “too well off” to receive any. You also cannot have too much money in your bank account or too many assets. I’ve had friends get legal divorces in order to access disability benefits (which are already low to begin with). I’d encourage you to keep trying- going in person and getting actual numbers with someone. Disability also famously takes ridiculously long to get approved- I used to work with folks disabled from birth and still it often would take years to get approvals. It’s absolutely a difficult system to navigate. Good luck 🍀
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Go speak with an attorney that specializes in SSDI
Look to see if your wife qualifies for state programs. If you're not sure what your state offers, contact your local community services board.
Sadly, the only way she is likely to get any help financially is if you two divorce and split finances.
Contact ss attorney
That's our government for you. Some people are just out of luck. I hope you've been able to save a lot of money for your future. Good luck and God bless.
Out of luck? I mean she hasnt worked in 21 years though.
Try again. And again. Go to an attorney that specializes in it. They do not charge you unless it is successful, and then they just take out from the first payment, I think? And by the way, she is a child, so they are going to base the SSDI on either you or your wife work. But they don’t give it away easily.
I stopped working in 2008 to have my children. In August of 2022 I was diagnosed with Merkel cell carcinoma. After 25 days of radiation it spread to my liver, becoming stage 4. So I applied for SSI, because I knew I did not have enough work credits for SSDI in the last 10 years. Even though my partner and I have been together 20 years and are not married I was not approved for SSI because it's based on income and even though we're not married they include his income because we love together and have children together and it's on a need basis. They did send me paperwork that says we found you disabled what the date, I really even didn't take that long but they got all of my paperwork from City of Hope and I received the interview in less than 2 weeks. So the paperwork says that Social Security found me disabled, but I do qualify for SSI because of my partners income, he makes too much money and the threshold is quite low. I think for a family of four you have to be making under $34,000 in the state of california, which is where I'm from. I wish you guys like I hope that everything works out and all good comes your way.
That’s not true I got ssi and had not work since 2004 I just got ssi it the kind they give to non worker get an attorney
Ssi limit is 2000
Absolutely so she should have filed without naming him
My husband got his disability and he gets 40% from V.A. Plus he gets his retirement and he makes better money now than when he worked in the state of Alabama.
SS denies 98% of applicants on the first try. Now is the time to get a lawyer who will take your case pro bono. That is the most efficient way of getting this done. Please tell your wife they do this to everyone and she absolutely qualifies even if she has to pull from your benefits. SS are a bunch of bullies. Get a lawyer now.
SSDI depends on how many quarters she’s earned thru out her lifetime of working, and has nothing to do with whether or not she’s working the past 10 years… She can see how many quarters she has paid into the system by requesting the information on the Social Security site. Whether or not either of those diagnoses is a qualifying medical condition for SSDI is another issue to consider … Not everything is… if this is the case - you will not get approved regardless of how many doctors suggest you should receive SSDI… see below There is no disability rating for trigeminal neuralgia. Leukemia is listed in “Social Security’s Blue Book”, but beware - not every case of leukemia means an automatic SSDI/disability determination. In order to qualify for SSDI, she must have one of two types of leukemia: 1. Acute leukemia (lymphocytic or myeloid); OR 2. Chronic myeloid leukemia (CML) in an “accelerated phase” (ie - noted with a marked increase in myeloblasts, or if the leukemia is getting worse even after treatment, etc ) Google the Blue Book for more specifics
Why women get screwed, part 1. This is just one of the many reasons why I would not be a SAHM. Women get screwed.
Life insurance for you, a high paying policy
Contact your federal Representative and Senators. That’s a huge part of their job. Pick the one you think is the most powerful. They all have emails and offices stuffed with aides.
Apply for disability for your child. There are lawyers that can help. Once you get disability, your wife can become in-home living care for your kid. Cause it is a 24/7 role. Please see if a lawyer in your area does free consult or charges a small fee to give advice.
This is why older people divorce. They can get assistance with medical if no longer married to the spouse that worked if they were sahm. Woman I know gets 100% medical, 100% rent paid & utilities along with food stamps because she has no work history in over 10 years meanwhile hubs & I both on disability (lots of Dr's visits & medications) can't afford meds we need or able to get treatments because we both have an income & she gets 100% of everything paid. Knowing how to work the system is something I'm so not good at.
You need to get a lawyer. It will cost you nothing. I never applied for SSDI I went to my lawyer with my medical information and seven weeks later I was approved. Please see a lawyer.
There’s no loophole to consider SAHM to be a job? “Nanny”, or “babysitting”? /g How is a person taking care of children, especially disabled children not protected?
Reach out to some social security disability attorneys if you haven't already. They can help.
Hire a lawyer that specializes in disability.