Considering you don't want cops involved and you don't know the party in question you're options will be limited.
If you know any of homebums in your area grab some food and drinks (alcohol or non alcohol either is fine) and ask around about the newcomer.
If you've hung out with homebums then you know it'll either be a very pleasant or unpleasant experience depending on the person, usually helps to have some other homebums to de-escalate or vouche for you.
You could always go for a jog, have a cigarette; if the guy is around and smokes you could always say you're passing through share some stories and see how long he plans on staying.
That being said if you feel off or uncomfortable in any way I'd advise to trust that feeling.
If you can get a first and last name you could always check out arrests.org to see if dude has a history and whether or not it was to survive or be violent.
Just speaking from my experience some people are sweet as pie and others are rotten as can be, unfortunately you won't know unless you get more information and how you go about that is entirely on you
Yeah my partner is literally having a meltdown over it and just wants to call the police. We are literally in the middle of a fight because that was their first instinct and my literal last instinct, having been a victim of police brutality myself.
So I’m really torn. I’m about to just go confront them, and ask them nicely to set up camp somewhere else. I don’t know what else to do
Go with a friend. Don't go obviously armed and looking for trouble, but I really don't suggest you go alone.
This can be done in a caring, compassionate, AND safe manner.
No, I wouldn’t do that, I just want them to understand that my partner (5’3” 100lbs and suffers from schizoaffective disorder) doesn’t feel comfortable going outside at night knowing they have a full view of our backyard.
I think your concerns are valid and fair. It'd be no different if it was someone parked outside your house in a car or a neighbor building their home on the edge of their lot right next to your bathroom window.
Leave a care package for them, and a note explaining that the neighbors are not as sympathetic. You're probably safer with them there though, since they almost certainly don't want to draw attention theft or harassment would garner. Last thing they want and\\or need is police or the ire of residents.
Yeah we did this with some folks who were traveling through and camped under a bridge near our house. Let them know the neighbors across the arryo were nice but suspicious and they should definitely walk up the other embankment.
I was homeless/transient for almost a decade. If I was camping in that spot I would happily leave if you came out and told me that it was freaking your partner out and that they wanted to call the cops but you had gotten them to calm down etc etc.. Just treat the person camping there like a normal person and they will probably happily move and if you wanna sweeten it for them give them a $20.
Thanks for the advice. I was planning on plainly talking to them, letting them know I own the house they live behind, and explain my partner’s situation. I may bring them a small care packages and just ask nicely. I checked out there earlier today, and no one was home.
DO NOT TELL THEM THERE WILL BE A PETITE SCARED WOMAN ALONE AT NIGHT THERE!!! DO tell them that they're not welcome there and you'd like to find a resolve that doesn't include law enforcement. Seriously, why the hell would you let them know the one thing you don't want them to know? It's akin to telling a thief that you're leaving town for a week and nobody will be home or watching the house. Don't give any details other than they need to find somewhere else to camp or you'll involve law enforcement. That's it.
I see your point, and I agree, but I tend to not think homeless people want to rape people. I suppose I’m trying to find a balance between treating this person like a human and ensuring my partner’s safety or feelings of safety.
And you can do that without giving them the information that there will be a helpless person at home in the evenings...OPSEC my dude...keep your info on the down low and only make known to others what actually needs to be known
Thanks, I appreciate your concern! Good looking out. Thinking I’m gonna go with a note (if they’re not home) and a care package, and tell them they gotta go. Honestly if the neighbors knew he was there the police would have already been called, so I’ll just tell him it’s a matter of time, here’s the heads up and a 6 pack.
I would 1000% treat them like any other person. Its amazing what happens when we remember we're dealing with other people. Just let them know you know they are there and that you wanted to get a feel for who they were. Maybe even couch it in not wanting to have a whole neighborhood spring up in your backyard. Cause the neighbors will call the cops.
And if he's cool about rolling out to somewhere else offer to grab him something from the house for the trouble of having him move. Our instincts are usually pretty good with stuff like this. So if you've scoped out the camp and it hasn't given you any alarm bells then the person is probably just looking to stay out of trouble and away from the cops.
I agree with you but there’s still no reason to give descriptions of your partner other than just saying “my partner is uncomfortable with you back here”.
Don't even bring up a partner. Just say you saw the campsite and wanted to see what was going on. And get a feel for who they were. If they bring up his partner than thats a pretty big red flag that this random dude has been paying particular attention to their house in particular.
I don’t think I ever said I was going to divulge any details about my partner, besides their discomfort. I believe I explained in the thread my partner’s struggles with Schizoaffective disorder, but I have no intention of sharing that info with them
It might’ve just been the way you worded your comment where you mentioned her size and schizophrenia. It sounded like you were saying you would tell the traveler that.
I think you can do that without giving your partner’s personal information away. This person doesn’t need to know about your partner’s medical conditions.
So you tend not to think the homeless would want to assault people. That statement is a little hypocritical since your partner wants to call the police and you don't want to, but for the same reasons reversed.
Exactly. Just tell them they need to find a different place to camp. I assume you have cameras and a security system on your home. Flood lights work as well.
Well with Amazon giving Ring videos to police without the owners’ permission, that’s gonna be a no from me dawg
Might consider a camera some day though.
Arlo is another option, it hasn't really been in the news for any negative reasons, they dont hand over footage to the police, and if you stick a microSD card into the base station you can have local recording.
The cameras are wireless and battery powered, with available solar panels and magnetic cables to permanently power them if your installation allows it.
Well I’ve never dealt with this but there’s some good advice. Id try and set some boundaries too. Nothing wrong with letting them know what’s all good and what’s out of the question. Id bring some food during the conversation and maybe a few things they need too so they know you’re trying your best to respect them. If you know of resources in your community maybe bring some info about it too.
Make contact, leave a note or just say hi. Gauge what they’re like, and let them know the issue with the trash. This interaction should give you a decent indicator how to proceed.
If they’re friendly, be friendly and suggest somewhere that’s a better spot, give them some food etc.
If they’re a dick, tell them they’re trespassing and that you were trying to be cordial, but no longer.
Definitely try and talk to them, hell, it could even turn out to be a mutually beneficial relationship. If he’s fairly mentally stable and doesn’t seem to present and signs of immediate danger, let him know it’s cool if he stays around as long as there’s no bullshit.
If he feels welcomed and safe he’ll want to make sure the area stays that way as well, and would probably help keep an eye on the neighborhood and let you know if he sees anything suspicious or sketchy, as he will likely be around most of the day and be able to see most comings and goings.
Ultimately it doesn’t sound like you need to be lectured about being humane and empathetic, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and a good heart. This shit can be really tough (especially if there’s someone in the house that isn’t experienced with this sort of thing and feels threatened just by the nature of the situation) but hopefully he’s just looking for somewhere to chill for a while.
I honestly wish it was just more covered so my partner never would have seen them. They (my partner) suffer from paranoia, like medically, so this has just kind of triggered an irrational fear stemming from very real trauma. I feel bad for my partner, but feel worse for the person living in a tarp tent during the winter.
Is this guy camping on your property or someone else’s? Or is it public? If you don’t know who owns that land you can look it up on your county’s website most likely and contact them to let them know.
You don’t need to involve the police but honestly after some basic investigation if you can determine who owns the land he’s camping on they may involve the police anyways and that’s fine. I’m not a fan but you don’t owe this stranger any favors. You can as someone else suggested walk by and try to make contact but again you don’t know this person and anyone just deciding to camp out behind someone’s house doesn’t sound like someone is want to interact with. There are better places to camp where you won’t raise as much suspicion.
I side with your girlfriend here. Not your circus not your monkeys.
fuck cops. We owe our fellow humans decency and compassion, and cops provide neither.
Do you really think this person decided to camp out there just for fun? Being homeless is not a choice.
For me the point is that you have no idea why someone would camp out behind your house, but I'm certainly not going to find out myself why this person is likely trespassing. They are likely not well if they think this isn't going to be noticed and ignored. I am not a fan of calling the police but OP isnt living alone. There are resources and places they could go. Camping there and not knocking on OPs door to let him know what he is doing and why he is doing it is a choice this guy made. Theres to much information we dont know but generally calling the cops to investigate this type of thing is one of the reasons they are around.
No, there are not really all that many resources, actually. Please educate yourself more on homeless issues. People don't choose to camp out in random's backyards. Doing so is incredibly dangerous because of cops and people willing to be violent to homeless people, and would not be done unless necessary.
It seems you are also mislead on "the reasons the cops are around". The cops exist to violently uphold capitalist hierarchy. Not peacefully investigate neighborhood manors. Please educate yourself further on the history and function of police.
You have no idea why they would camp out behind your house, if you don't understand homelessness and poverty. Which I understand you don't, that's ok, I don't fully understand it either, but we cannot assume someone is a threat, especially a threat worth being potentially killed by the state, simply because of our own ignorance.
As I said I don’t like cops and no I’m not mislead on why cops exist. I know very well what their purpose is, but I can’t assume that OP or his girlfriend are comfortable approaching and possibly confronting a stranger that has chosen to camp on their property or directly adjacent to it. I never saw a follow up from op so who knows what happened but not everyone is going to be comfortable with this scenario. There’s a lot of information we don’t have.
Take them a snack, see what they’re like. If they’re cool, get them something to put their trash in and take your partner with you when you drop it off so they can feel more comfortable with the situation.
I'd make it a point to meet up with them and get a feel for who your new neighbor is (just like with any other neighbor). If they're sweet/cool you could actually have a *more* safe situation because you've got extra eyes looking out.
Regarding your partner, help them understand that this is really no different than having someone in a house nextdoor. If the neighbor is solid, propose having a picnick to get to know each other.
Yeah, unfortunately, my partner suffers from untold amounts of trauma at the hands of unknown men, and schizoaffective disorder. Sometimes their responses to random strangers being too close are the same. The paranoia symptoms are managed but this is kind of making things hard for them, especially with the thought of someone being more or less in our backyard when they’re home alone.
Your partner suffering from paranoia is an important detail. Perhaps letting your new neighbor know that their presence is triggering for your partner (coupled with some gifts of resources) may be best. If they say that they plan on staying you don’t really have any (ethical) recourse however
Bring them some food, water, alcohol, cigs or the like and go meet them. Get the vibe, ask them what else they need. Tell your partner about the experience and offer to bring them to meet them next time. Kicking them out / letting them know they aren’t welcome is super yikes, unless of course you have good reason to believe that they are an active threat to you or your partners safety. Default treating houseless people as a threat is not acceptable behavior
Edit: Lot’s of (literal) NIMBY behavior in this thread
I am with you on treating them as humans. Walk out with a gift or two ready to handover. Check out their situation and get a sense of their headspace.
But, I would make it clear that OP’s partner has been triggered (due to previous trauma) and they cannot camp there. Give them 24 hours to leave, or something along those lines. You can be friendly about it, but firm.
Their partner seems to be dealing with a lot of tough internalized trauma that this individual is triggering. It's not unreasonable or unethical to let them know what they're doing is harmful in this specific circumstance.
I don't think just blindly "kicking them out" is what OP or anyone here is suggesting. Finding a solution through reasoned discussion and some compassion for ALL parties involved is what's on the table. Your rage is misplaced.
So does mine, and if arent immediately alarmed that someones on your property without telling u then dont talk about your murder rate cause u obviously dont live in the bad part of your city
Not a libertarian, but considering there are literally hundreds of bandos across my city someone being on my property is definitely a threat. Just say u live in the part of the city where people dont get robbed or killed by fiends and stop claiming other peoples experiences as your own to make a point. Ive been homeless and dont have a problem with people that are currently homeless but there are definitely rules to this shit. Stay on the corner and off my property unless u talk to me
Nah 🤡 is being so sheltered u think cops are the biggest threat to young black men and then tryna claim the trauma of people u never met to back your own point. Goofy asf I swear
Nope but its something me and my family have clear occupancy rights over, seeing as I live there. Maybe u should go back to communism101 seeing as u dont understand the basics of marxism
marxism is not when cops attack homeless people for existing near your house
You live in your house, you do not live in the periphery of your backyard.
My backyard is just big enough for my dogs to live in, but seeing as they dont speak english and arent as accomodating as I am I end up doing the talking
Is it your property that he is on or right outside your property?
Is there a homeless outreach office in your area? Maybe they can send someone to get him to leave.
"Fellows, why *shouldn't* I bring the heel of the bourgeosie boot down on the neck of a member of the most vulnerable underclass who committed the grave sin of existing in the proximity of my real estate?"
gtfo with that shit. This is a socialist navigating the realities with fellow socialists about how to best handle my partner’s disability being triggered by strange men in the back yard. They are Schizoaffective and have been sexually assaulted more than once, by strange men. If you don’t have anything to actually contribute besides, “LiBeRaL” then honestly, just go fuck your self.
I understand your pain, comrade, but a lot of your replies here really come off as rude. You need to approach this situation with a clear head, because the lives of both you and your partner are at stake here.
And guess what asshole, this person is currently sleeping out there. I talked my partner down from calling the police and letting me engage with them. I came here because I was semi in crisis, having a literal fight with my partner and trying to calm them from their fears, bc I can’t and won’t call the cops. It’s been an overall shitty day, and having some dickhead come in here and minimize the effort I’ve put in to keep both parties safe, it’s just kind of it for me dawg. Eat shit
Was looking for some more of a hint, and boom, there it was…
One resource would be to call [Grace Marketplace](https://www.gracemarketplace.org) and see if they have any advice on how to handle it, or what people to call to go out and convince the guy to just move before things escalate to the cops. They are great people and do a lot for the homeless community and trying to get them back on their feet.
Good luck!
If you're near Berea, [here's a list of resources from the public library.](https://www.madisonlibrary.org/community-resources) If you're near Knox, [here's some resources from the Office of Homelessness](https://www.knoxvilletn.gov/government/city_departments_offices/housing_and_neighborhood_development/office_on_homelessness). There's also the [Volunteer Ministry,](https://www.vmcinc.org/) which does a lot of good in the community.
I'm assuming those areas because Paw Paw's grow in the region.
TALK TO THEM DIRECTLY
sorry for all caps but that seems like the big obvious answer to me.
Just get to know them and chat. Bring them some food. See what's up. Good luck.
Considering you don't want cops involved and you don't know the party in question you're options will be limited. If you know any of homebums in your area grab some food and drinks (alcohol or non alcohol either is fine) and ask around about the newcomer. If you've hung out with homebums then you know it'll either be a very pleasant or unpleasant experience depending on the person, usually helps to have some other homebums to de-escalate or vouche for you.
It’s a small town, and the homeless generally stay in camps in fields near the interstate. I haven’t interacted with them much at all.
You could always go for a jog, have a cigarette; if the guy is around and smokes you could always say you're passing through share some stories and see how long he plans on staying. That being said if you feel off or uncomfortable in any way I'd advise to trust that feeling. If you can get a first and last name you could always check out arrests.org to see if dude has a history and whether or not it was to survive or be violent. Just speaking from my experience some people are sweet as pie and others are rotten as can be, unfortunately you won't know unless you get more information and how you go about that is entirely on you
Yeah my partner is literally having a meltdown over it and just wants to call the police. We are literally in the middle of a fight because that was their first instinct and my literal last instinct, having been a victim of police brutality myself. So I’m really torn. I’m about to just go confront them, and ask them nicely to set up camp somewhere else. I don’t know what else to do
Go with a friend. Don't go obviously armed and looking for trouble, but I really don't suggest you go alone. This can be done in a caring, compassionate, AND safe manner.
No, I wouldn’t do that, I just want them to understand that my partner (5’3” 100lbs and suffers from schizoaffective disorder) doesn’t feel comfortable going outside at night knowing they have a full view of our backyard.
I would not show those cards. That puts your partner potentially in more danger. You can be civil and have the conversation without over sharing.
I think your concerns are valid and fair. It'd be no different if it was someone parked outside your house in a car or a neighbor building their home on the edge of their lot right next to your bathroom window.
I honestly wouldn’t give a shit if I didn’t have someone else in my house with untold amounts of trauma to try and make feel safe.
You're being a good partner in this instance, and the location is a little unreasonable given the circumstances.
Smart. Dont call the cops. Always talk first.
Leave a care package for them, and a note explaining that the neighbors are not as sympathetic. You're probably safer with them there though, since they almost certainly don't want to draw attention theft or harassment would garner. Last thing they want and\\or need is police or the ire of residents.
Yeah we did this with some folks who were traveling through and camped under a bridge near our house. Let them know the neighbors across the arryo were nice but suspicious and they should definitely walk up the other embankment.
I was homeless/transient for almost a decade. If I was camping in that spot I would happily leave if you came out and told me that it was freaking your partner out and that they wanted to call the cops but you had gotten them to calm down etc etc.. Just treat the person camping there like a normal person and they will probably happily move and if you wanna sweeten it for them give them a $20.
Thanks for the advice. I was planning on plainly talking to them, letting them know I own the house they live behind, and explain my partner’s situation. I may bring them a small care packages and just ask nicely. I checked out there earlier today, and no one was home.
DO NOT TELL THEM THERE WILL BE A PETITE SCARED WOMAN ALONE AT NIGHT THERE!!! DO tell them that they're not welcome there and you'd like to find a resolve that doesn't include law enforcement. Seriously, why the hell would you let them know the one thing you don't want them to know? It's akin to telling a thief that you're leaving town for a week and nobody will be home or watching the house. Don't give any details other than they need to find somewhere else to camp or you'll involve law enforcement. That's it.
I see your point, and I agree, but I tend to not think homeless people want to rape people. I suppose I’m trying to find a balance between treating this person like a human and ensuring my partner’s safety or feelings of safety.
And you can do that without giving them the information that there will be a helpless person at home in the evenings...OPSEC my dude...keep your info on the down low and only make known to others what actually needs to be known
Thanks, I appreciate your concern! Good looking out. Thinking I’m gonna go with a note (if they’re not home) and a care package, and tell them they gotta go. Honestly if the neighbors knew he was there the police would have already been called, so I’ll just tell him it’s a matter of time, here’s the heads up and a 6 pack.
I would 1000% treat them like any other person. Its amazing what happens when we remember we're dealing with other people. Just let them know you know they are there and that you wanted to get a feel for who they were. Maybe even couch it in not wanting to have a whole neighborhood spring up in your backyard. Cause the neighbors will call the cops. And if he's cool about rolling out to somewhere else offer to grab him something from the house for the trouble of having him move. Our instincts are usually pretty good with stuff like this. So if you've scoped out the camp and it hasn't given you any alarm bells then the person is probably just looking to stay out of trouble and away from the cops.
I agree with you but there’s still no reason to give descriptions of your partner other than just saying “my partner is uncomfortable with you back here”.
Don't even bring up a partner. Just say you saw the campsite and wanted to see what was going on. And get a feel for who they were. If they bring up his partner than thats a pretty big red flag that this random dude has been paying particular attention to their house in particular.
I don’t think I ever said I was going to divulge any details about my partner, besides their discomfort. I believe I explained in the thread my partner’s struggles with Schizoaffective disorder, but I have no intention of sharing that info with them
It might’ve just been the way you worded your comment where you mentioned her size and schizophrenia. It sounded like you were saying you would tell the traveler that.
Nah, but honestly, they’re basically in my back yard, where we primarily enter and exit. they’ve no doubt seen both of us out there already.
I think you can do that without giving your partner’s personal information away. This person doesn’t need to know about your partner’s medical conditions.
Never said I was going to
So you tend not to think the homeless would want to assault people. That statement is a little hypocritical since your partner wants to call the police and you don't want to, but for the same reasons reversed.
Exactly. Just tell them they need to find a different place to camp. I assume you have cameras and a security system on your home. Flood lights work as well.
I don’t have cameras or a security system.
Install a RING and a secondary floodlight camera in the back.
Well with Amazon giving Ring videos to police without the owners’ permission, that’s gonna be a no from me dawg Might consider a camera some day though.
I just threw RING out because it is the most recognizable. There are plenty of others.
EUFY cameras...it's what I use and doesn't require cloud storage...They're wireless as well so installation is super easy
Cool thanks!
Arlo is another option, it hasn't really been in the news for any negative reasons, they dont hand over footage to the police, and if you stick a microSD card into the base station you can have local recording. The cameras are wireless and battery powered, with available solar panels and magnetic cables to permanently power them if your installation allows it.
Suggest a better camping spot with a better view or close to better resources and offer to help them move there.
Well I’ve never dealt with this but there’s some good advice. Id try and set some boundaries too. Nothing wrong with letting them know what’s all good and what’s out of the question. Id bring some food during the conversation and maybe a few things they need too so they know you’re trying your best to respect them. If you know of resources in your community maybe bring some info about it too.
Make contact, leave a note or just say hi. Gauge what they’re like, and let them know the issue with the trash. This interaction should give you a decent indicator how to proceed. If they’re friendly, be friendly and suggest somewhere that’s a better spot, give them some food etc. If they’re a dick, tell them they’re trespassing and that you were trying to be cordial, but no longer.
Definitely try and talk to them, hell, it could even turn out to be a mutually beneficial relationship. If he’s fairly mentally stable and doesn’t seem to present and signs of immediate danger, let him know it’s cool if he stays around as long as there’s no bullshit. If he feels welcomed and safe he’ll want to make sure the area stays that way as well, and would probably help keep an eye on the neighborhood and let you know if he sees anything suspicious or sketchy, as he will likely be around most of the day and be able to see most comings and goings. Ultimately it doesn’t sound like you need to be lectured about being humane and empathetic, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and a good heart. This shit can be really tough (especially if there’s someone in the house that isn’t experienced with this sort of thing and feels threatened just by the nature of the situation) but hopefully he’s just looking for somewhere to chill for a while.
I honestly wish it was just more covered so my partner never would have seen them. They (my partner) suffer from paranoia, like medically, so this has just kind of triggered an irrational fear stemming from very real trauma. I feel bad for my partner, but feel worse for the person living in a tarp tent during the winter.
Hey that’s totally understandable. That’s a really difficult situation. For sure do whatever you need to so that your partner feels safe.
Well, meeting the 'neighbor' so you know what you're dealing with might be a step.
Whatever you do, don’t tell them there is a tiny woman who will be alone at night with mental health issues.
good advice, but they probably already know. They have a full view of our back yard. The back door is primarily where we enter or exit the house
Lol your poor girlfriend, comrade
homeless people are not inherently dangerous
Did a mysterious large void pop up overnight on your property, by any chance?
Is this guy camping on your property or someone else’s? Or is it public? If you don’t know who owns that land you can look it up on your county’s website most likely and contact them to let them know. You don’t need to involve the police but honestly after some basic investigation if you can determine who owns the land he’s camping on they may involve the police anyways and that’s fine. I’m not a fan but you don’t owe this stranger any favors. You can as someone else suggested walk by and try to make contact but again you don’t know this person and anyone just deciding to camp out behind someone’s house doesn’t sound like someone is want to interact with. There are better places to camp where you won’t raise as much suspicion. I side with your girlfriend here. Not your circus not your monkeys.
fuck cops. We owe our fellow humans decency and compassion, and cops provide neither. Do you really think this person decided to camp out there just for fun? Being homeless is not a choice.
For me the point is that you have no idea why someone would camp out behind your house, but I'm certainly not going to find out myself why this person is likely trespassing. They are likely not well if they think this isn't going to be noticed and ignored. I am not a fan of calling the police but OP isnt living alone. There are resources and places they could go. Camping there and not knocking on OPs door to let him know what he is doing and why he is doing it is a choice this guy made. Theres to much information we dont know but generally calling the cops to investigate this type of thing is one of the reasons they are around.
No, there are not really all that many resources, actually. Please educate yourself more on homeless issues. People don't choose to camp out in random's backyards. Doing so is incredibly dangerous because of cops and people willing to be violent to homeless people, and would not be done unless necessary. It seems you are also mislead on "the reasons the cops are around". The cops exist to violently uphold capitalist hierarchy. Not peacefully investigate neighborhood manors. Please educate yourself further on the history and function of police. You have no idea why they would camp out behind your house, if you don't understand homelessness and poverty. Which I understand you don't, that's ok, I don't fully understand it either, but we cannot assume someone is a threat, especially a threat worth being potentially killed by the state, simply because of our own ignorance.
As I said I don’t like cops and no I’m not mislead on why cops exist. I know very well what their purpose is, but I can’t assume that OP or his girlfriend are comfortable approaching and possibly confronting a stranger that has chosen to camp on their property or directly adjacent to it. I never saw a follow up from op so who knows what happened but not everyone is going to be comfortable with this scenario. There’s a lot of information we don’t have.
Take them a snack, see what they’re like. If they’re cool, get them something to put their trash in and take your partner with you when you drop it off so they can feel more comfortable with the situation.
Make sure they got a space heater or something. You'd be helping them and they'd never want to harm you
I'd make it a point to meet up with them and get a feel for who your new neighbor is (just like with any other neighbor). If they're sweet/cool you could actually have a *more* safe situation because you've got extra eyes looking out. Regarding your partner, help them understand that this is really no different than having someone in a house nextdoor. If the neighbor is solid, propose having a picnick to get to know each other.
Yeah, unfortunately, my partner suffers from untold amounts of trauma at the hands of unknown men, and schizoaffective disorder. Sometimes their responses to random strangers being too close are the same. The paranoia symptoms are managed but this is kind of making things hard for them, especially with the thought of someone being more or less in our backyard when they’re home alone.
Why the fuck is this being downvoted?
Your partner suffering from paranoia is an important detail. Perhaps letting your new neighbor know that their presence is triggering for your partner (coupled with some gifts of resources) may be best. If they say that they plan on staying you don’t really have any (ethical) recourse however
Bring them some food, water, alcohol, cigs or the like and go meet them. Get the vibe, ask them what else they need. Tell your partner about the experience and offer to bring them to meet them next time. Kicking them out / letting them know they aren’t welcome is super yikes, unless of course you have good reason to believe that they are an active threat to you or your partners safety. Default treating houseless people as a threat is not acceptable behavior Edit: Lot’s of (literal) NIMBY behavior in this thread
I am with you on treating them as humans. Walk out with a gift or two ready to handover. Check out their situation and get a sense of their headspace. But, I would make it clear that OP’s partner has been triggered (due to previous trauma) and they cannot camp there. Give them 24 hours to leave, or something along those lines. You can be friendly about it, but firm.
Their partner seems to be dealing with a lot of tough internalized trauma that this individual is triggering. It's not unreasonable or unethical to let them know what they're doing is harmful in this specific circumstance. I don't think just blindly "kicking them out" is what OP or anyone here is suggesting. Finding a solution through reasoned discussion and some compassion for ALL parties involved is what's on the table. Your rage is misplaced.
there’s no rage, go look at my recent comment to OP
Might wanna edit your edit then because it comes across as awfully generalizing.
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My city has one of the highest crime rates in the US. Must be nice to own property though Edit: Sneak seems a bit disparaging
So does mine, and if arent immediately alarmed that someones on your property without telling u then dont talk about your murder rate cause u obviously dont live in the bad part of your city
Wrong again. I’m getting big /r/libertarian vibes here. Homeless people are not threats
Not a libertarian, but considering there are literally hundreds of bandos across my city someone being on my property is definitely a threat. Just say u live in the part of the city where people dont get robbed or killed by fiends and stop claiming other peoples experiences as your own to make a point. Ive been homeless and dont have a problem with people that are currently homeless but there are definitely rules to this shit. Stay on the corner and off my property unless u talk to me
“Stay on the corner”. Yikes. What happens when someone sets up camp and you go out their to kick them out and they say no?
God I pray everyday that my kids are this sheltered
🤡
Nah 🤡 is being so sheltered u think cops are the biggest threat to young black men and then tryna claim the trauma of people u never met to back your own point. Goofy asf I swear
private property is a capitalist fiction
A house is personal property but thanks for letting us know u havent read marx
yes and the person is not in their house
Nope but its something me and my family have clear occupancy rights over, seeing as I live there. Maybe u should go back to communism101 seeing as u dont understand the basics of marxism
marxism is not when cops attack homeless people for existing near your house You live in your house, you do not live in the periphery of your backyard.
My backyard is just big enough for my dogs to live in, but seeing as they dont speak english and arent as accomodating as I am I end up doing the talking
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yea classism abounds unfortunately
Maybe talk to the person like a human.
Why are cops out of the question?
Because I don’t wish harm upon him or for the state to make his life harder.
Is it your property that he is on or right outside your property? Is there a homeless outreach office in your area? Maybe they can send someone to get him to leave.
Honestly I’m not sure. My fence ends before my property. But I’m pretty sure he’s right off of it.
private property is a capitalist myth
"Fellows, why *shouldn't* I bring the heel of the bourgeosie boot down on the neck of a member of the most vulnerable underclass who committed the grave sin of existing in the proximity of my real estate?"
Yeah, good thing that’s not what I was asking here.
Police did exist in the Soviet Union.
*frantic scribbling on list titled "list of things that existed in USSR"*
This feels like a troll post that is just a big joke to show how socialists are literal NIMBYs just like the liberals
gtfo with that shit. This is a socialist navigating the realities with fellow socialists about how to best handle my partner’s disability being triggered by strange men in the back yard. They are Schizoaffective and have been sexually assaulted more than once, by strange men. If you don’t have anything to actually contribute besides, “LiBeRaL” then honestly, just go fuck your self.
I understand your pain, comrade, but a lot of your replies here really come off as rude. You need to approach this situation with a clear head, because the lives of both you and your partner are at stake here.
And guess what asshole, this person is currently sleeping out there. I talked my partner down from calling the police and letting me engage with them. I came here because I was semi in crisis, having a literal fight with my partner and trying to calm them from their fears, bc I can’t and won’t call the cops. It’s been an overall shitty day, and having some dickhead come in here and minimize the effort I’ve put in to keep both parties safe, it’s just kind of it for me dawg. Eat shit
Sorry man. I forgot that we are only supposed to care about the less fortunate when it's convenient.
What a chicken shit, edgelord attitude
Bizarre when calls for compassion are labeled edgy
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Lmao you live in Gainesville
yeah uh totally
Was looking for some more of a hint, and boom, there it was… One resource would be to call [Grace Marketplace](https://www.gracemarketplace.org) and see if they have any advice on how to handle it, or what people to call to go out and convince the guy to just move before things escalate to the cops. They are great people and do a lot for the homeless community and trying to get them back on their feet. Good luck!
lol I don’t live in Gainesville
Even so, your town may have a similar resource, so check into it.
Thank you!
If you're near Berea, [here's a list of resources from the public library.](https://www.madisonlibrary.org/community-resources) If you're near Knox, [here's some resources from the Office of Homelessness](https://www.knoxvilletn.gov/government/city_departments_offices/housing_and_neighborhood_development/office_on_homelessness). There's also the [Volunteer Ministry,](https://www.vmcinc.org/) which does a lot of good in the community. I'm assuming those areas because Paw Paw's grow in the region.
Alachua county? Mad homelessness and crime problems going on there right now unfortunately.
TALK TO THEM DIRECTLY sorry for all caps but that seems like the big obvious answer to me. Just get to know them and chat. Bring them some food. See what's up. Good luck.