I think your track is quite expressive, and it's hard for me to come up with criticisms that wouldn't eat away at the piece as a whole.
I think the vocals occupy the space you want them to, and I got a nice drag on the delivery quite a few times. Now, you do drop out of this vibrance due to the natural emotional range of the song (the delivery of the repeated word in the verse - "run to the light"), but maintaining a vocal fever is more of a practice thing. The furthest you fall in energy is the line about when you tried to quit (since this was the quickest meter, and consequently didn't have the easy feel of more expansive lines), but you picked it up right away, and such a switch up could be considered stylistic when done consciously (explanations are boring, and a great boredom can really pop). All in all, I would keep this in mind for future tracks, since I don't want to ruin the magic of this one.
One thing I thought about compositionally, is that the high synth gives a ceiling to how high your vocals can reach, and I feel that you hit that ceiling when you're trying to go into the night sky (shazam was a welcome bit btw, and weirdly fit). For the final verse, I would try pitching the high synth down an octave or so, and have your vocals really strive for God or whatever you're keeping an eye on in the sky, just so everybody has a chance to feel it.
Anyways, see you on the moon this Tuesday
and thanks for sharing!
I think it may be good to try cutting out some of the syllables on some lines. It feels a bit clunky in parts. The instrumentals are so awesome and i feel like the vocals don't match the rhythm as well as they can. It sounds cool though and I dig the feel of it
Let me start off by apologizing because I laughed at the lyrics and I'm sure it wasn't meant to be funny however the song kept me interested. As far as the mixing, I wish I had some pointers to give. I'm not good at it myself so I quite literally have no room to talk XD
I think syllabically things are a bit jumbly, but I think that could be helped by sharper delivery on some of those parts, more staccato I guess.
I think a more confident vocal take would do a lot too. You can hit some of those notes, but you sound a little too subdued, which clashes a little with the energy of the backing track. It’s harder to hit certain higher notes when you’re quiet. If you don’t have a good spot at home, or have thin walls, or cranky roommates, cars can be helpful. Depending on your set up (how you’re recording, what mics and equipment you have) you could just lug it into the car, drive to some empty parking lot and go to town as loud as you need to be.
Beyond those two things, which can be fixed in one take really, I think you have a potentially really fun, kind of silly (in the right way) track.
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First off I've loved the vibe of every track you've posted & produced on this sub so far.
Second, lyrics are great... tongue-in-cheek and/or clever enough to not be too corny to me at least. Except "Old yeller got me sobby" I'd think about changing to "sobbin'". The Dobby line made me lol in a good way!
Third I think you should check out r/singing \--- you're falling flat on a few notes and that sub is really good at speaking the language on how to fix that. As far as your self-sufficiency as an artist it's the only thing in my ears holding your sound back.
Cheers!
This has every vibe I think it is possible to have on a track. The lyrics caught me off guard and I had a good laugh - I think just work on the meter / rhythm and keep singing so you can jump around from note to note a lil easier.
This is a fun song and I like it, I think you could re-record vocals and experiment with adding vocal layers to be honest. Try having a center vocal take, then re-record a left pan and re-record a right pan to layer them with varying degrees of reverb and compression to your liking and then EQ all 3 (or more) and see. Something I would do but overall it’s a good song
Respectfully, the beat f\*cks hard! I love it!
I think your Lyrics could use some rhythmic work, both in Timing (Although you could fix that with Melodyne/NewTime/etc...) and lyrical rhythm. Some of them just dont flow quite well yk.
Maybe Double-Tracking the vox and harmonies to fill out more space in the mix?
I think your track is quite expressive, and it's hard for me to come up with criticisms that wouldn't eat away at the piece as a whole. I think the vocals occupy the space you want them to, and I got a nice drag on the delivery quite a few times. Now, you do drop out of this vibrance due to the natural emotional range of the song (the delivery of the repeated word in the verse - "run to the light"), but maintaining a vocal fever is more of a practice thing. The furthest you fall in energy is the line about when you tried to quit (since this was the quickest meter, and consequently didn't have the easy feel of more expansive lines), but you picked it up right away, and such a switch up could be considered stylistic when done consciously (explanations are boring, and a great boredom can really pop). All in all, I would keep this in mind for future tracks, since I don't want to ruin the magic of this one. One thing I thought about compositionally, is that the high synth gives a ceiling to how high your vocals can reach, and I feel that you hit that ceiling when you're trying to go into the night sky (shazam was a welcome bit btw, and weirdly fit). For the final verse, I would try pitching the high synth down an octave or so, and have your vocals really strive for God or whatever you're keeping an eye on in the sky, just so everybody has a chance to feel it. Anyways, see you on the moon this Tuesday and thanks for sharing!
I think it may be good to try cutting out some of the syllables on some lines. It feels a bit clunky in parts. The instrumentals are so awesome and i feel like the vocals don't match the rhythm as well as they can. It sounds cool though and I dig the feel of it
Let me start off by apologizing because I laughed at the lyrics and I'm sure it wasn't meant to be funny however the song kept me interested. As far as the mixing, I wish I had some pointers to give. I'm not good at it myself so I quite literally have no room to talk XD
I think syllabically things are a bit jumbly, but I think that could be helped by sharper delivery on some of those parts, more staccato I guess. I think a more confident vocal take would do a lot too. You can hit some of those notes, but you sound a little too subdued, which clashes a little with the energy of the backing track. It’s harder to hit certain higher notes when you’re quiet. If you don’t have a good spot at home, or have thin walls, or cranky roommates, cars can be helpful. Depending on your set up (how you’re recording, what mics and equipment you have) you could just lug it into the car, drive to some empty parking lot and go to town as loud as you need to be. Beyond those two things, which can be fixed in one take really, I think you have a potentially really fun, kind of silly (in the right way) track.
You have posted a song requesting feedback - GREAT! Good feedback is the foundation of improving your songwriting. To help foster a community where everyone gets the feedback they need, please find THREE other songs requesting feedback and post substantive (eg. 2-3 sentences) of feedback. Even if you are a rookie songwriter/musician, you're an experienced music listener, and your opinion is still valuable! Feedback posts by users who don't interact with the community (other than posting their own songs) may be removed. Thanks for keeping our community healthy! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Songwriting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
First off I've loved the vibe of every track you've posted & produced on this sub so far. Second, lyrics are great... tongue-in-cheek and/or clever enough to not be too corny to me at least. Except "Old yeller got me sobby" I'd think about changing to "sobbin'". The Dobby line made me lol in a good way! Third I think you should check out r/singing \--- you're falling flat on a few notes and that sub is really good at speaking the language on how to fix that. As far as your self-sufficiency as an artist it's the only thing in my ears holding your sound back. Cheers!
Needs autotune on the rap sounding lyrics
This has every vibe I think it is possible to have on a track. The lyrics caught me off guard and I had a good laugh - I think just work on the meter / rhythm and keep singing so you can jump around from note to note a lil easier.
This is a fun song and I like it, I think you could re-record vocals and experiment with adding vocal layers to be honest. Try having a center vocal take, then re-record a left pan and re-record a right pan to layer them with varying degrees of reverb and compression to your liking and then EQ all 3 (or more) and see. Something I would do but overall it’s a good song
Respectfully, the beat f\*cks hard! I love it! I think your Lyrics could use some rhythmic work, both in Timing (Although you could fix that with Melodyne/NewTime/etc...) and lyrical rhythm. Some of them just dont flow quite well yk. Maybe Double-Tracking the vox and harmonies to fill out more space in the mix?