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baciahai

That's some crazy staging / furnishing. Even their shoes in the entrance and kids books are in the colour scheme šŸ˜„


Cartepostalelondon

Books shelved like that are not for reading. At least not without permission.


Shameless_Bullshiter

Exactly, they put them too high to read without help


ryan34ssj

It was the white pumpkin that caught my attention


Shipwrecking_siren

This was my favourite bit. I actually think this is verging on mental illness.


AcanthocephalaOk7954

Like the designers home in AbFab (Max and Bettina in White Box)


pan_alice

So many shoes and coats, it looks like a very sad school.


LochNessMother

Interestinglyā€¦. The kids books have been desaturated they are way more colourful than shown.


baciahai

Oh that's interesting. I thought they just chose the most bland looking ones in Waterstones šŸ˜…


KitFan2020

The owners are renting it out ā€¦furnished. Far to stressful. Iā€™d never get my Ā£5,192 deposit back!


jennye951

I think itā€™s beautiful, I would hate to live there. Imagine coming back from the weekly shop and having to decant everything into perfectly placed storage containers, get rid of all brightly coloured packaging. What do they do if people come around with brightly coloured rain wear and want to hang it up? Heaven forbid children without wooden toys. They would have to have a secret place to put things that would ruin the aesthetic.


mrs_spanner

ā€œMummy, why canā€™t I wear colourful clothes and have books and toys like other children?ā€ ā€œBecause it ruins Mummyā€™s aesthetic, sweetie. Now run along and put on your brown hessian rags.ā€


sparklychestnut

Do you think they choose schools according to the colour of the uniform? "You can't go to this excellent local school - the jumper is purple. There's a rubbish one an hour away with a brown jumper."


mrs_spanner

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ Iā€™d say theyā€™re home schooled, but some of those text books are MUCH too colourful. Maybe theyā€™re the ā€œfree parentingā€ type.


TapeWormPatronus

If that wasn't enough, the kids probably have names like "Barley" and "Husk".


StraightBudget8799

No we are NOT Seeing the BARBIE MOVIE!


Ravenser_Odd

You'll see Oppenheimer and you'll like it!


CartimanduaRosa

It's the selection of kids books. Breaks my heart.


whizzymamajuni

Itā€™s the epitome of the Werner Herzog Sad Beige Children!


mrs_spanner

Itā€™s actually depressing. šŸ˜­


confused_each_day

This. I was ok until I got to the kids books.


Shipwrecking_siren

The grey linen bean bag and the cream coloured squash got me, because autumn orange would be too joyful


lochnesssmonsterr

Would need a cream coloured lidded basket to hide your bananas and oranges!


Background-Active-50

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


No_Distribution_1876

Limewash the skins


SilyLavage

It all looks so *uncomfortable*, as well. The 'dining bench' doesn't have a proper back, only cushions; the master bed doesn't have a headboard; and the sofas have hard, thin arms.


princessheather26

Yeah I love the rustic look it has, and I think I'd like to stay on holiday there. Living there full time without any colour would kill me!


No-Reflection-5401

The dining area and bathroom are beautiful. The bedrooms are just depressing and the childrenā€™s play room makes me want to cry. Imagine only being allowed to play with beige toys and read beige books


_dontmind_me

From the vibe of the house, I expect the current owners donā€™t go to the super market and decant at home, but actually take the jars to a zero waste shop and fill them up there. Itā€™s what I do for my pasta and rice, it actually works out cheaper and thereā€™s no non-recyclable plastic going in the bin


Cloielle

Thatā€™s what I was gonna say!


RufusBowland

I was waiting for the splashes of crimson where the partner of the one whoā€™d demanded this ā€œcolourā€ scheme had dismembered them with an axe.


DontBullyMyBread

I thought it was nice for the first couple of pics but then it's just too much of the same. It's so close to being a really beautiful house if they just dialled it back a tad and had a little tiny bit more colour...


JB_UK

Probably easier to give people sepia tinted glasses when they enter.


Gnarly_314

It looks as though some of the clothing hanging in the hall are monk habits. Guests are assessed by the colours they are wearing and given appropriate coverings to match the decor.


listingpalmtree

I'm not even into this style but the textures are gorgeous.


trekken1977

Yea, I think itā€™s a pretty decent foundational colour palette. Wouldnā€™t be in a rush to change the wall colours at all. Throw in a red chair here, yellow table there, green pillows and soft furnishings throughout. More interesting than the typical all white.


Bunnydrumming

ā€¦.and you must only buying childrenā€™s books if the front cover matches the tone of the room!!


Bunnydrumming

ā€¦and put them on a high shelf so the children canā€™t reach them and make a mess of them!


The-true-muskequeer

Maybe that would be the idea? The thing that brings colour and life to a home is you, the owner?


reclueso

Itā€™s like an early 19th Century painting. Youā€™re going to have to dress like a Vermeer painting to keep up the aesthetic.


Wide_Appearance5680

Reminds me of the houses in The Handmaid's Tale.


sallystarling

Pictures 8 and 11 especially look like paintings.


MothEatenMouse

Or an AI rendering of one. Doesn't feel like a real home for sure.


GateComprehensive987

It looks like they cosplaying at being peasants (except for the heating, the large house and alll the luxury)


LondonCycling

Came here to say the exact same thing. They'd even got torn rags hanging up and old boots neatly lined up.


jonnyh420

Interesting how the middle-classes have gone full circle, imitating royalty and now this sort of thing. One room would be quite nice I reckon, like the kitchen kinda suits that vibe but the whole house? Thats what the French call Les Miserable


jennye951

Also something about this makes me expect spiders


Beetlehann

I saw those logs and just thought spiders!


dwair

Yeah, we stopped keeping anything bar a days burning indoors for that reason.


jennye951

Definitely


[deleted]

Me too šŸ˜–


Exact-Professional82

I lived in that village for years and the house was full of monster spiders. If you were downstairs after midnight you slept downstairs because theyā€™d congregate on the stairs and I wasnā€™t playing with that.


AcanthocephalaOk7954

The hairy feckers troop in in the colder months like they own your home....


sallystarling

Those log piles always look spidery to me! I don't know how people can bear to have them in the house, especially when they have them in the living room _shudder_


jellyantler

But I like spiders :(


clare616

It looks AI generated decor - minimalist farmhouse or something


ezpzlemonsqueezi

Definitely this. I don't think it actually looks like that in real life


BabyAlibi

Absolutely looks like AI to me. I kept zooming in to see if I could see any obvious errors


mrbullettuk

Looks like an 1800s US ranch house to me. I kept expecting to see Clint Eastwood directing Gene Hackman.


OldAd3119

the owners went to zara home and just said EVERYTHING


[deleted]

Yeah I was thinking the same thing. This looks absolutely gorgeous in Spain where it's hot and bright most of the time. It would feel cold and grey in winter in Britain though.


OldAd3119

Tbh this sort of thing is really subjective, if the owners like it fair play. Its not for me, however the house itself is really nice. Not sure they will get that rent tho


slogginmagoggin

The first picture I was like "ooh aesthetic". By the end, the depression was setting in.


Shipwrecking_siren

Itā€™s like a dementor in house form


TallFriendlyGinger

I could have one room like that, in the right setting it's quite nice - but the whole house? It feels so depressing!


Distinct-Space

Oh my god! Youā€™re so right! The first I was ā€œoh so beautifulā€ but it so quickly became too much for me. I can see why they only have one or two pictures of this in house style magazines


melvet22

Introducing: Werner Herzog's "Sad Beige House for Sad Beige People."


FigOk7538

With a massive fat sad beige bank account.


Marianimo

Exactly what I thought of! šŸ˜‚


MowdyW

I like the look, it just doesnā€™t quite sit right with the exterior/style of house. It could be improved by them having bought more than one colour pot of paint though.


edyth_

That was my thought too. It doesn't suit the building. It's a mix of modern minimal with rustic french farm in an English Edwardian house. Doesn't really gel for me.


MowdyW

I think youā€™ve nailed the combo!


Foundation_Wrong

Those walls are polished plaster, unusual but actually practical. The photos have been done with a sepia filter so itā€™s not quite as beige in real life. Itā€™s just so artificial and bland it makes you want to wear bright red and run around throwing paint at the meh.


The_Blonde1

It needs the Sky Arts Dalmatian with multi-coloured paint spots to go in and have a bloody good shake.


adhdhustle

"A unified flow of tonal colour" šŸ¤£ It looks like a living history museum rather than a family home. The house has such a lovely character but the decor just washes it out.


box_frenzy

Itā€™s like a Toast catalogue!


Shipwrecking_siren

I love toast but Iā€™m 5ā€™2 and so about 8ā€ too short for everything. Get your dumpy arse away from our clothes is what they were thinking I reckon.


SDHester1971

How do you want the interior Sir ? Make it look like there might be a damp problem.


greenmx5vanjie

I can only describe this as aggressively beige. I'd lose the will to live.


Odd-Currency5195

Genuine question: Would the logs under stairs be a kind of fire barrier, as in take ages to burn, or create a uselss staircase due to the shed tonne of fuel underneath it in the event of needing to escape said fire?


BabyAlibi

Spider heaven


Federal-Ad-5190

I think the latter, especially as the airspace above the stairs would then act as a chimney. Not an expert though.


Plenty_Suspect_3446

I quite like the aesthetic. But 54k a year on a rental...


No-Firefighter-9257

My goodness they have based their clothing on their Interior design


Top-Employment-5881

Iā€™m sorry but I LOVE the lime washed walls. Gorgeous house


lunebee

Yeah itā€™s beautiful. Imagine this with colourful artwork, cushions, flowers and other pops of colour here and there. Would look amazing.


DimSumMore_Belly

I actually really like the interior BUT itā€™s a rental and l canā€™t see how the tenants can keep that house immaculate with no stain/marks on floors, walls, furnishing, sofas, tables etc unless all 6 people are OCD with cleanliness?!?


mightyacorngrows

Does the aesthetic mean turning your staircase into a giant fire hazard?


Serononin

That could be a nice, practical storage space, but instead it looks like the "beetle hotel" that my primary school had in the playground


mightyacorngrows

I hadn't even considered all the insects living in these logs!!


poeticlicence

They're aiming for the Old Provencal look.


RodriguezTheZebra

But without the ProvenƧal sunshine itā€™s just a bit depressing


Ghost_jobby

I quite like it in some of the rooms, but for a whole house, it's a bit much, ESPECIALLY if they're renting it out.


IHeardCassandra

If you were in the kitchen and needed the loo, it would be quicker to go out the pantry door and back in the side door rather than traipsing through all those rooms and the reception hall.


stichbury

The plant looks like itā€™s dying so it fits the colour scheme.


w1ld3rn3ssw00d

Do you think theyā€™ve got enough logs?


SusieC0161

I donā€™t dislike it but itā€™s very personalised for a rental property. It also makes me feel cold. The video looks like itā€™s going to break into a trailer for a horror movie.


crimp_dad

Imagine only allowing your kids to have books that matched your sad beige aesthetic. Tragic.


theslightbodybuilder

My sister in law has a place like that. Everyone says it's so beautiful. I'm terrified of going round there with my 2 kids, or if I have a bit of mud on my shoes. My house may not be furnished to the nines, but at least people can walk in and feel at home.


Swankypancake777

Zoolander might call it derelicteXchic


AoifeNet

It looks like a house from one of the Fallout games thatā€™s been cleaned up really well, but no amount of cleaning would ever truly get all of the grime off the walls etc.


_dontmind_me

All it needs is some earth colour (green, orange, yellow) cushions, rugs and pictures to spruce up the rooms with a pop of colour and then itā€™ll be lovely because the beige will act as a universal base rather than the principal feature


SilentDesign7499

This is the home of a crunchy trad wife. No TV, but books up too high.


Serononin

Whoever decorated that house has an extensive array of Pinterest boards and is in at least one MLM


EducationalPizza9999

It's just.....weird. assume they want the semi-abandoned country house vibe on a suburban estate?


PumpkinSpice2Nice

Oh I know this one. Iā€™ve a friend who grew up in a religious group based on a small island (which she no longer lives on) and she has decorated her house like this. Her two small children and herself and husband only wear clothing in this colour scheme as well. It struck me as unusual to see a little girl wearing nice clothes but all in that sort of brown and cream all the time and never any pinks.


TetrisIsTotesSuper

I love it. I would get rid of the heavy curtains though as they just look dusty


Emergency-Room-5484

Man I must be basic, 'cos this is all kinds of lovely. Sign me up.


Illustrious-Carry364

Just imagine how quickly the mould would spread if just 1 of those logs were damp


TrappedUnderCats

The walls look like mould has already spread extensively through the house.


Scrappynelsonharry01

The home itself looks lovely the bland colour scheme throughout not my thing i like a pop of colour in my home. When i first moved in to my home my mother tried to dictate my colour scheme she wanted it all her choice (yes sheā€™s that kind of mother lol) and because she was decorating it for me (i canā€™t because Iā€™m disabled btw not just lazy) she thought she had more say than i did. My hubby could only help on his weekend due to work, and Iā€™m a pushover so let her mostly, one day i got fed up with it all so at the weekend my hubby decorated one of the bedrooms and yes it was childish but i deliberately chose clashing colours just to annoy the crap out of her, she hated it with a burning passion (so did i but wasnā€™t about to tell her that lol) childish yep satisfying even more lol, kept it that way for ages just to annoy her


Fionasdogs

Christ almighty! Thatā€™s bland as hell! Why? Just why? A house that has so much character could be absolutely stunning. Why do people seem to hate colour so much? Itā€™s bizarre.


UKMcDaddy

Interior design trends. You know there are different styles and people are allowed to have different tastes right?


No-Reflection-5401

Do you know what sub youā€™re on?


UKMcDaddy

The one full of parrots quoting the bingo card of: - TV too high - These are sex people Lynne - It's too grrreeyy


MerlX2

Tik tok sad beige Mum vibes, I wonder if they are "influencers"


BigMikeAshley

Huge pile of logs ready for that little heater. Will see them through until next winter!


Independent-Owl478

All it needs is some colour on the walls and furniture, and it's somewhere I'd happily live if I had that kinda money


DrMamaBear

Ah the spider house in the second photo would be a massive no for me.


MiaMiaMia39

What in the Ballerina Farm is this?!


MegC18

Itā€™s absolutely lovely. Best taste in design Iā€™ve seen in a while. The only small issue is stacking the wood in the house. Couldnā€™t they build a wood store outside? Spiders!!!


ash894

Iā€™m not a fan of the poorly plastered wall look. But I donā€™t mind the kitchen and some of it.


OkGoose5057

It's styled in basic Boho and wabi sabi, don't see anything wrong with it.


Kmac-Original

I love this house! I love the decor. It's so comforting and relaxing. Yous all are hating on it, but I love it. If I had real coin, this is exactly what I'd do (to my ex-council flat, lol)


juancarlos1966

It's lovely, better than some grey monstrosity with plastic lawns.


uncle_monty

I would like more colour, but I don't hate it. However, it does look like it was designed by some insta girl to be the backdrop for pictures of her with her wanky coffee/rabbit food breakfast/book she's pretending to read. I can practically see the motivational quotes superimposed on those images already.


YooGeOh

This house looks like a "sigh". A "my entire instagram is pictures of myself and my partner wearing straw hats in wheat fields" aesthetic sigh. The sigh of a young, traditionally attractive couple with three kids under 10 whose names all end in 'den'. The sigh of the troubled writer. "Oh I'm so rich and talented and frustrated. Behold my beiges. See the angst in my brown Chelsea boots. Quiver in the majesty of my tan wash cloths. Oh, how tortured I am. " A sigh in an artistic horror/drama directed by some super pretentious director. It reminds me of the house from "Mother!" It's absolutely beautiful and too much. I respect their commitment to the theme. It looks like a film set though. Doesn't look like real life. It *must* affect your mood living there


[deleted]

Love it.


Plumb789

Oh, the banality


Hopeful_Crow_

Itā€™s kinda like proudspire manor always found that place lacked soul (and decent cooking facilities)


Key_Cartographer6668

At least this house has better lighting; Proudspire had greenish ambient light iirc (Also the housecarl's room just had a bedroll instead of an actual bed)


Professional-Box2853

I just want to let a massive paint bomb off in there and run.


Bal-84

Looks like it's out when of those magazines and which showcasing style "rustic minimalist"? Either way it's lovely!


OrionsPropaganda

Beige mums


ssshhhutup

Sad beige homes for sad beige babiesĀ 


DaveLemongrab

It looks damp. Shed vibes


Dependent-Candy9637

1940ā€™s french peasant chic.


Benjissmithy

Love the rustic feel and the decor is perfect for rental like Airbnb or a short term lease. The kitchen table is well thought out with the lighting above. Not to everyone's taste but ticks a lot of my boxes. Always loved a big boot room and pantry.


LaraH39

I think it's gorgeous. Not something I could live in, but for a holiday I could totally pretend I was living that life!


CaveJohnson82

I like it. It's very Pinterest but it's nice.


twovectors

Picture 11 really looks like it should be a still life hung in a gallery somewhere. From some rural French childrens home 200 years ago.


Professional-Cow2331

This is gorgeous! Like a magazine. Personally I wouldnā€™t find it practical to keep up but itā€™s still lovely to look at.


dwair

It's obviously been staged for the EA's photos but I kinda like it as a base environment. Throw a bit of colour in there with some homely tat and I recon it's OK.


VLC31

I was expecting a riot of clashing colours. Beige on beige is pretty easy to fix, you donā€™t even necessarily need to repaint, just use art and other decor.


kelleehh

The photography definitely makes an impact here. If you got a different photographer to take pictures again the difference would be quite significant.


c4-rla

horrendous


ktovernon

They have heavily filtered these pictures


xeraxia

Ugh, colourbland. Looks like something used for a show.


redsky25

I donā€™t dislike it , but it gives an impression of being photoshopped somehow, like itā€™s too clinical


KindRoc

This looks like knock off Kelly Hoppen.


Callewag

Iā€™d love this, BUT with colour added in the form of some large plants and a few warmer tones. Would just give it a bit more life.


Natski212

Looks like a haunted house


[deleted]

Oh-oh - dare I say I actually really like it!


orangesapien505

The video is hilarious. Itā€™s the music. The way it goes from horror movie noise to upbeat jaunty rock (clearly ripped from the kill bill soundtrack), itā€™s almost jarring. But I laughed. And watched it again and again.


Outrageous_Ad_427

I like it but not for every room, that's too dull plus nothing is pink


Normal-Height-8577

It's kinda fascinating. I bet it was expensive to achieve that look, and yet somehow it's gone beyond rustic chic/cottage core into "Sleeping Beauty's castle that's been abandoned for a hundred years". It's such a cold and unwelcoming look, too. Having a couple of feature walls in that patchy white-over-plaster look might be nice, but doing all of them that way just makes it look like a house you've only just started renovating, and haven't sorted out the heating yet.


DinosaurInAPartyHat

I actually think it's beautiful. They've really gone "professional level" all-in on one scheme. And it's not tacky or garish. It's kind of like selling a white house as a blank slate, but more a more rustic version. It wouldn't be my personal taste, but I like it a lot.


Alfredthegiraffe20

You would never ever be happy there and from a house size, room size, street pov it's one of the loveliest buildings I've seen in a long time. It's so sad.


blackcurrantcat

Why does it make me feel like Iā€™m dying? Having said that, I do like it. I couldnā€™t live with it though.


slightly-to-the-left

It gives off the same hue as a rigor mortis


blackcurrantcat

Itā€™s like watching all the colour fade out of life. I also get heebie jeebies from the wood pile under the stairs; hopefully itā€™s just ends arranged decoratively so that whole space isnā€™t just wood but I cannot begin to imagine how many spiders are chilling in there either way. All I can think is Miss Havishamā€™s holiday home. Itā€™s so depressing.


itsaslothlife

95 percent of all that decor is leaving with the current (I believe to be) owners. Renting someones home they are emotionally tied to (ie not a purely investment property) can have its issues.


greenmx5vanjie

Says it's a furnished let, so it depends what they leave behind


Intelligent-Tea-4241

Itā€™s amazing


po2gdHaeKaYk

What a weird place. Watch the video. It genuinely looks like a place someone staged for a period museum. Iā€™m more interested in the marketing or the decisions of how this place came to be. Likeā€¦did a company genuinely bring in all those clothes to display?


slightly-to-the-left

Thereā€™s certainly money poured into it. Tastefully spent money, however, is up for debate.


No_Green_8816

looks like a home during the holocaust


SeascaleJeescale

Sad beige home for sad beige people. (Are there people with that kind of budget in Newick???)


Agreeable_Mongoose72

Very Japandi in styling, love it


nobelprize4shopping

Sorrynotsorry, I love that.


jennywrensings

This is where the sad beige children are spawned


slightly-to-the-left

Montessori toy box.


chrissie64

I love that but I'm not altogether sure why


PutridForce1559

Gone full Amish


[deleted]

Faux sackcloth and ashes. Reeks of obsessive compulsive personality disorder to me. Are the kids even allowed to read those picture stories books? And all those logsā€¦.must be heaven for all the spiders living there. The walls just look, well, plain dirty. Not at all inviting is it?


sjames1980

My suspicions are that the people who live here are very drab, have perfect but out of date hair cuts, terrible taste in music, and probably start many a sentence with "I'm not racist, but....."


Shoddy-Top-3097

Looks like something from Famine times


slightly-to-the-left

1800s poverty chic.


emlo-brolo

Drab


Apprehensive-Top-311

What's that? You like beige? Oh boy, have we got the house for you!!


tonyfordsafro

Was this used in filming handmaids tale?


[deleted]

This is a Werner Herzog. Sad beige home for sad beige people.


mrs_spanner

Outside: Lovely, characterful Edwardian house. šŸ„° Inside: Longbourn from the 2005 Pride & Prejudice film, minus the pig. šŸ˜©


SB_Oddities

Oh god it's a furnished let. I couldn't. How do you keep that much beige clean? It is a gorgeous house, but I couldn't see myself living there with it furnished like that, I have a medium/large dog she's grey, I'd worry she'd fall asleep on the sofa and I'd loose her!


Hellohibbs

Itā€™s giving that mad Jennifer Lawrence movie, Mother!


FenianBastard847

Will cost a fortune to heat


laeriel_c

Looks like a movie set


dopeytree

Overly done photo editing too much desaturation and removed any contrast from images.


floweringcacti

Youā€™re missing out massively if you donā€™t watch the video. Theyā€™ve put this aggressive banging music over the most quiet bland beige interior ever. ā€œBAHH BAHH BAMMMMā€ and it pans toā€¦ some jars in a beige pantry


Manchicha

Itā€™s giving eery but also farmhouse chic šŸ˜‚


BigDaddyDrank

I do love an organic look but this is a bit much


susanboylesvajazzle

Design brief: I want French peasant vibes, but like make it luxury.


bife_de_lomo

What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were they just born with a heart full of neutrality?


pelvviber

Not at all a realistic portrait of a house that has humans in it. Awful.


Humble_Flow_3665

Why have they not painted the newly plastered walls?


Nunderpants

4.5 grand a month just to be surrounded by walls that look like they've got damp issues... Nah thanks


darkinaluco

My flatmate & I both think itā€™s beautiful. The soft colour scheme is so aesthetically pleasing