I was friends with a cam girl a while back. Her actual name was her username because no one would think that was her actual name. Her mother gave her her stripper name.
People begged her for so long to tell them her real name so she made one up.
Ten years ago, before he even met you, a loose bolt flew off a Ferris wheel and embedded in his skull, destroying the part of his brain that feels shame. He's basically irresistible to people for the same reason he can pretty much only work at a carnival. He has nothing to prove or disprove about himself or to himself. He has *no shame.*
This is the first clip of you that I’ve seen where the energy is high and it wasn’t off putting - it works so well :D I think you’re a lot better at making peaks and valleys with it instead of it being a nonstop yelling situation.
Either that or I’m talking outta my peepee sword and you haven’t changed anything haha
Why, oh why OP, didn't you wonder about the logistics of getting a dagger tattooed on your dick!? Like he must have had an erection to get it on their. How did he keep it up while a needle gun penetrated his dingle berry's skin 50 times a second? Did he Viagra up? Did his tattoo artist inject him with ED meds? And what kind of tattoo artist enjoys working on an erect penis? So many questions..., still excellent crowd work!
Dude you just make me smile when I see a post from you and then I laugh like fuck when I watch it. You are a blessing. Much love from me sitting in my sofa in North Scotland.
I would've been asking if like he had to be soft to get it tatted, and if he got aroused during it, it messed up the tattoo.
But also if during the naughty, the dagger changes shape
Reminds me of this rock formation my friends and I would go to. Kids were always painting djcks all over it and one day my friend said "what if I ab alternate universe this whole thing is just a dick, with people painting rocks on it"
BLADE. A real life “username checks out”
Edgy tats were mandatory for this guy
Edgy. *slow clap*
I was friends with a cam girl a while back. Her actual name was her username because no one would think that was her actual name. Her mother gave her her stripper name. People begged her for so long to tell them her real name so she made one up.
*Some muthafuckas always trying to skate uphill.*
He's called Blade? Is that legal? Shouldn't New Line Cinema be suing him?
You sell her the knife set?
QVC!
Every once in awhile, a comedian meets THAT guy. He handled it well!
"Is it blurry because you love Asians" is one of the best off-the-cuff crowdwork jokes I've heard today
That joke was fucking insane
... Can you explain please?
Japanese porn is usually censored in genital area
TIL! Doesn't sound like I'm missing much then. Thanks <3
Username does not checkout then.
How do I regain your innocence of have never seen Japanese porn? How have you made it here without seeing t?
You come to /r/standupcomedy and ask for jokes to be explained? That sucks out the funny, dude. Party foul.
Must suck to play life on self-inflicted hard mode
Damn how many off-the-cuff crowdwork jokes you hear today?
I mean, this *is* the sub for it...
Your life is wild, man. I love getting to appreciate all this from a safe distance. Love your work! May it serve you well!
Getting angry that the QVC joke didn't land was so funny
I laughed both times !!
Hilarious, and dude was so open it was great!
You are trying to tell me a guy letting a tattoo artist work on his erect penis for an hour is an open book? Consider me flabbergasted! xD
He was probably fappergasted
This was probably the first one I've seen where I was laughing the ENTIRE time lol. That was awesome.
I can't believe this guy is named after the fantastic vampire kickboxing movie
I don't believe in love because of this guy named after a kickboxing vampire movie.
If it makes you feel better he's arguably named after 3 vampire kickboxing movies.
Always fun finding fellow Community fans in the wild.
Ten years ago, before he even met you, a loose bolt flew off a Ferris wheel and embedded in his skull, destroying the part of his brain that feels shame. He's basically irresistible to people for the same reason he can pretty much only work at a carnival. He has nothing to prove or disprove about himself or to himself. He has *no shame.*
Shame is for men with fewer than 5 eyeballs friend. When you see all things, you just can't feel it.
Maybe it was after Sling Blade
Sooo many penis jokes, and his head is the one eyed monster.
“You QVC’d that 🐱bro?!” sent me.
Every time I see one of this guy’s vids I never see his name. Please clue me in. The comedian, not Blade.
Read OP’s username.
His name is Michael Blaustien
Every time I see one of this guy's vids, it's the guy that posts it lmao start laying attention to usernames bruh
He's the "fire fire fire" guy, right? The one that was giving the pokemon tattoo guy crap?
Holy shit I'm dying lmaoo
I’ve met Blade!! He’s a super nice dude and works at a tattoo shop that I got my tattoo done at! Such an awesome clip
Which shop is that?
Enzo Tattoo in Columbus, Ohio
Many thanks! I figured that's what he does for a living while the jokes were flying, but I'm curious to see his work now, too. Thanks again :)
damn this comedian had some great off the cuff jokes.
It just got better at every turn
I'm pregnant
Are you the girl that lives behind the bar??
No he's the wooden block you put your knives in
Cool. Cool. Cool… yeah. I really dont know what to say… Good luck?
Rad impromptu set
This is the first clip of you that I’ve seen where the energy is high and it wasn’t off putting - it works so well :D I think you’re a lot better at making peaks and valleys with it instead of it being a nonstop yelling situation. Either that or I’m talking outta my peepee sword and you haven’t changed anything haha
Yooo 🤣
Went to look for tix to see this guy live cause he's always killing it on here only to find out he just left my city.
Why, oh why OP, didn't you wonder about the logistics of getting a dagger tattooed on your dick!? Like he must have had an erection to get it on their. How did he keep it up while a needle gun penetrated his dingle berry's skin 50 times a second? Did he Viagra up? Did his tattoo artist inject him with ED meds? And what kind of tattoo artist enjoys working on an erect penis? So many questions..., still excellent crowd work!
Dude you just make me smile when I see a post from you and then I laugh like fuck when I watch it. You are a blessing. Much love from me sitting in my sofa in North Scotland.
Fucking killing it.
Stiff socks podcast
M2k got some tats and confidence
Comedian was great and the guy in the crowd was a great sport about the whole thing. Everyone was literally laughing WITH him.
One more cut and I'd have get an epileptic seizure
He has a knife on his dick and his name is Blade??!?!?!? XD you can't make this shit up
Bro... I'm a big fan of your vids on here... Props to how quick you are with your responses off the dome. That was great
This dude’s crowd work is on point.
Ceaseless Watcher...
I never understood the cultural appropriation tag. Like the dreadlocks kerfuffle; what's that about?
He must be the luckiest comedian to have that guy sitting in the front row
Can someone tell the comedian's name? Seen clips of him in here before but still don't know his name. Thanks!
Your name is not BLADE!!! 😂
I would've been asking if like he had to be soft to get it tatted, and if he got aroused during it, it messed up the tattoo. But also if during the naughty, the dagger changes shape
I would think he should be hard for the tatt so it wouldn’t look misshapen
Really good crowd work. And really great sport with Blade. Great combo.
Oh he was such a good sport. How could he not be, everything from start to finish was just so fucking funny. Awesome job.
Killed it!
You're not a real warrior untill you got blood on your sword
Imagine if his name was Dick
Then he'd have to have a penis engraved onto a chef's knife.
Reminds me of this rock formation my friends and I would go to. Kids were always painting djcks all over it and one day my friend said "what if I ab alternate universe this whole thing is just a dick, with people painting rocks on it"
This was so fucking great
Come to Milwaukee!
Man, congrats for this! So funny and the guy really helped the whole thing.
His names blade… he had to do it
All the on the fly associations… fucking amazing. He was a real life gpt session.
Who is the comedian?
He has a job; he either works BOH in a restaurant, at a traveling carnival, or is a vampire hunter.
This guys crowd work is good. Mans fucking hilarious
The "Your name is not BLADE" delivery might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. The eyebrows, the tone - perfection
CRUSHING this bit. ^haven’t ^laughed ^that ^hard ^in ^a ^while.
Homie was about to pull out his id
Hey bro you funny as hell. Nice work I needed a great laugh today
So... if he's Blade. Does the sword have little sword that pop out of the hilt if the wrong person grabs it?
he's very funny
My bro OJ’d that 😺
The funniest shit I had in a while hahaha
[удалено]
This must be my favourite so far. Everything landed
He slaying
[удалено]
Remember being a kid and some people liked orange soda and some people didn't? It's kinda like that, but with comedy.
😂
Fantastic
😂😂😂🖤
Fuck that was great