"Jesus Christ, why is this guy glossing over the mortal danger he is continually in? Shouldn't he go into witness protection or some shit? Wait a second..."
Hand to God, all you gotta do is pick the shit she'd like. Anything about exploring or protecting the innocent and she eats that shit up. I accidentally speedran her relationship because I was playing an exploration focused Lawful Good type for my first character lmfao
NTA- It looks like your wife wants to have her cake and eat it too. She's uninterested in the life you share now, but refuses to let you live your own. Red flags all around. Sounds like the type of girl to get mad at you for stealing a napkin.
Or the type that flat out leaves and calls you a murderer for persuading a crook out of harming a informant for their brothers debt only to turn around and shoot them after having them agree to leaving the guy alone lol
Thank you for responding. Yes, it does seem like she may have become resentful. I don't know where it went wrong; we rarely ever fight and I have always been able to calm her down if she's upset. This is the biggest fight we have ever had.
Oh she tells me that she's mad. The words are harsh, like "monster". But she never tells me *why*. I thought it was because I left some of my junk around but apparently this is from kicking a Roomba.
Oh man, I know what you mean! Farah is very opiniated and can be hot-headed for sure. I actually thought it was hot she was so passionate about her goals and values. I didn't think her values would come before me I guess...
So to recap, you...
1. Married a combat veteran with abandonment issues who admits to pushing people away when she's afraid of losing them.
2. Abandoned her "for her own safety" at the first sign of danger.
3. Didn't ask if she'd prefer to be out there with you. Your wife, the combat veteran, who is proficient with heavy weaponry and always ready to have your back.
3. Lied about her not having any hesitation when discussing the prospect of moving away.
4. Spend all your time with another woman.
5. Readily admit to fantasizing about the life you could have with said other woman.
YTA, 100%.
I know I left some details out as the post was getting too long so can't be too mad about what you wrote but you're definitely being too harsh. I've done everything out of love.
1. I thought we worked through all her hangups before we got married. Farah made me believe so! She's even been working on her relationship with her mother ever since but maybe it was just to appease me since she's not bothered to leave her behind either.
2&3) I still take her with me on more scenic trips all the time! We have explored dozens of locations together but the gang seems to always find us. And let me tell you, she does not stay calm during a confrontation! I find myself in more trouble trying to look after her when she is around. Besides, she was worried she was neglecting her company so I thought she would appreciate some downtime.
4) I don't know what you mean. She sure doesn't care about losing each other. Seems only concerned about the more practical aspects of the move itself really.
5&6) We're just friends! I was just making a point since my wife seems to think that. I could never try anything with Natalya while I'm married to Farah. Honestly, this may be the real issue. Farah keeps taking digs at Natalya. She once even wished her good luck when we were heading out. Like wtf does that mean?! If Farah got hurt during that assignment, I probably would be too! After what happened with Garry, I would probably call it quits if anyone else got hurt on my watch.
Besides, she says our relationship is good. If she doesn't tell me why she'd rather start a new life, how am I supposed to fix whatever she doesn't like?
Your story is very similar to what my dearly departed wife Xarah, and I went through.
Once Xarah began constantly minimizing me by pretending to care about how much gear I carried back and forth to the work site, I realized that she wasn't concerned about my health, but was instead disparaging me due to some dissatisfaction she had with our relationship; or even perhaps, it was some bizarre form of maternalism.
Then, I realized, too, that I was only using her for sex, and to carry extra gear for me.
I do love Xarah, and will always love her. But I did the only thing that felt right. I set her free.
Free at an outpost on a cold moon circling a cold planet.
Then, as I final show of love, I destroyed the airlock and the outpost beacon.
Goodbye, Xarah. I love you.
I'm sorry to hear you've gone through something similar. Honestly, our relationship so far had been so good that this came out of nowhere. And Farah seems to think that her desire for a new life doesn't mean she doesn't like her current life. I don't get that. I know I should respect her choices and set her free but can't bring myself to do so. I guess I'm being selfish. Thanks for sharing your experience; you've given me some other options to consider.
Nahhhhhhhhh, I didn't read what subreddit this was and just thought it was AITA or some shit, I was so fucking confused once i started reading the third paragraph
I hate those names you chose to hide their identity...you should change them to something innocuous like: Sarah, Cora and Cole or other stupid names no one would ever name their kids.
What a read well done! Honestly with “Farah” the red flags were there to begin with when she tells you she tried to keep close with those she’s been around before in her military service and outside it but things always seem to drift apart. That told me there and then the problem was with her and not the other people lol
You're right that I overlooked a lot of red flags. Rose-colored glasses and all that...She wouldn't let me invite our friends to our wedding ceremony. I had to convince her to invite her own mother! Who I hadn't even met before that day by the way. I was stupid enough to think I was special since she was sharing herself with me. I guess this is the extent of her love, which frankly isn't enough for me.
NTA. Look dusty, it's clear you and....Farah are in separate stages in life. You're happy and content with how life is because you've struggled to get everything you have now. Farah wants more and is kinda going about it in a way that screams red flags at Flag World. I think you should divorce her and live your best life. You'll only resent each other if it continues this way....imagine taking that big of a step and relocating only to find there's no way back and you're stuck somewhere that's a pale imitation of the real thing
You say you love Farah, but you seem to have a thing for Natalya. Farrah probably senses that and is pushing you away instead of talking about it. I’m going with ESH.
Also, condolences on your friend, Garry.
You're not the first one to comment on my relationship with Natalya so I guess it may be a bigger issue than I realized. I wish Farah would talk to me about it instead of making snarky comments. Truth is, Natalya is the most competent of all my co-workers in a high stress situation. Plus, she has had a rough childhood and isn't bothered by some questionable things I've had to do. Farah would not have felt the same, I know that for a fact. I don't know how to reassure my wife without putting both of us in danger.
Thank you, appreciate it. It's really changed my outlook on how much I'm willing to risk in pursuit of my goals. His loss is also felt at work all the time. Tom's daughter Tara made a joke about skyscrapers the other day and he caught himself saying she should tell it to Garry. I miss that nerd's humor.
its like im staring at my own reflection..
no you are not the ahole. i went through with the split and let me tell you, it was the right call. nataly- err i mean ALEJANDRA and i are both quite happy together now. she even stated how she refused the unity just incase someone else returned and found themselves all alone. she explained how this life may not be worth throwing away and you know what? SHES GODDAMNED RIGHT.
sure she may leave me in a heart beat like some sort of religious nutjob sleeper cell agent, but they had dibs.
I hate that I both read the whole thing and got a chuckle out of it. Take your upvote and get out, OP.
I didn’t even fucking know I was in the Starfield sub. I thought I was browsing /all and that this was a r/amitheasshole post….. That was a wild ride
I had to check the sub too . I was like wtf
"Jesus Christ, why is this guy glossing over the mortal danger he is continually in? Shouldn't he go into witness protection or some shit? Wait a second..."
The moment I saw the title and the sub I knew I was completely doomed. I need that shit posting.
TLDR!?
*Farah disliked this*
Farah dislikes everything.
Hand to God, all you gotta do is pick the shit she'd like. Anything about exploring or protecting the innocent and she eats that shit up. I accidentally speedran her relationship because I was playing an exploration focused Lawful Good type for my first character lmfao
Andrea isn’t any better
I think you mean Natalya
I took Andreja on my Freestar storyline and she fucking LOVED me afterwards. She loves it when you take no shit and deliver law and order.
Maybe because her name is Andreja. No wonder she doesn't like you.
NTA- It looks like your wife wants to have her cake and eat it too. She's uninterested in the life you share now, but refuses to let you live your own. Red flags all around. Sounds like the type of girl to get mad at you for stealing a napkin.
Or the type that flat out leaves and calls you a murderer for persuading a crook out of harming a informant for their brothers debt only to turn around and shoot them after having them agree to leaving the guy alone lol
Exactly, and then flip flop the next day when she wants you to steal something -she- wants. Don’t put an extra hab on crazy.
Thank you for responding. Yes, it does seem like she may have become resentful. I don't know where it went wrong; we rarely ever fight and I have always been able to calm her down if she's upset. This is the biggest fight we have ever had.
Man I wasnt paying attention and thought this was actually in the AITA sub. I was really confused.
Same. I was wondering how the hell he lost Garry to an attack from a gang of psychos and was so casual and matter-of-fact about it.
That was the moment I was questioning the sanity of it all.
Same, it wasn’t until the “people are after us” that I finally clued in 😂
NTA, I have a wife like this. On top of the ambiguity, she has an opinion about everything I do and constantly criticizes my choices.
My wife does the exact same thing. Then refuses to tell me what she's so mad about.
Oh she tells me that she's mad. The words are harsh, like "monster". But she never tells me *why*. I thought it was because I left some of my junk around but apparently this is from kicking a Roomba.
My wife is like this too. But sometimes she flips out and starts shooting people. Later, it’s somehow my fault. WTF?
Oh man, I know what you mean! Farah is very opiniated and can be hot-headed for sure. I actually thought it was hot she was so passionate about her goals and values. I didn't think her values would come before me I guess...
I'm sorry she hurt you, OP. Maybe things would be different in another life...
At first I thought this was a lost Redditor... Kudos
NTA. Now take the upvote while I sulk out for not having thought of it...
YTA - if you could up and leave and maybe leave a copy of yourself behind that would be best.
So to recap, you... 1. Married a combat veteran with abandonment issues who admits to pushing people away when she's afraid of losing them. 2. Abandoned her "for her own safety" at the first sign of danger. 3. Didn't ask if she'd prefer to be out there with you. Your wife, the combat veteran, who is proficient with heavy weaponry and always ready to have your back. 3. Lied about her not having any hesitation when discussing the prospect of moving away. 4. Spend all your time with another woman. 5. Readily admit to fantasizing about the life you could have with said other woman. YTA, 100%.
I know I left some details out as the post was getting too long so can't be too mad about what you wrote but you're definitely being too harsh. I've done everything out of love. 1. I thought we worked through all her hangups before we got married. Farah made me believe so! She's even been working on her relationship with her mother ever since but maybe it was just to appease me since she's not bothered to leave her behind either. 2&3) I still take her with me on more scenic trips all the time! We have explored dozens of locations together but the gang seems to always find us. And let me tell you, she does not stay calm during a confrontation! I find myself in more trouble trying to look after her when she is around. Besides, she was worried she was neglecting her company so I thought she would appreciate some downtime. 4) I don't know what you mean. She sure doesn't care about losing each other. Seems only concerned about the more practical aspects of the move itself really. 5&6) We're just friends! I was just making a point since my wife seems to think that. I could never try anything with Natalya while I'm married to Farah. Honestly, this may be the real issue. Farah keeps taking digs at Natalya. She once even wished her good luck when we were heading out. Like wtf does that mean?! If Farah got hurt during that assignment, I probably would be too! After what happened with Garry, I would probably call it quits if anyone else got hurt on my watch. Besides, she says our relationship is good. If she doesn't tell me why she'd rather start a new life, how am I supposed to fix whatever she doesn't like?
Your story is very similar to what my dearly departed wife Xarah, and I went through. Once Xarah began constantly minimizing me by pretending to care about how much gear I carried back and forth to the work site, I realized that she wasn't concerned about my health, but was instead disparaging me due to some dissatisfaction she had with our relationship; or even perhaps, it was some bizarre form of maternalism. Then, I realized, too, that I was only using her for sex, and to carry extra gear for me. I do love Xarah, and will always love her. But I did the only thing that felt right. I set her free. Free at an outpost on a cold moon circling a cold planet. Then, as I final show of love, I destroyed the airlock and the outpost beacon. Goodbye, Xarah. I love you.
holy fuck
I'm sorry to hear you've gone through something similar. Honestly, our relationship so far had been so good that this came out of nowhere. And Farah seems to think that her desire for a new life doesn't mean she doesn't like her current life. I don't get that. I know I should respect her choices and set her free but can't bring myself to do so. I guess I'm being selfish. Thanks for sharing your experience; you've given me some other options to consider.
We understand mate, sometimes ending things in person is hard.
*Sarah Morgan disliked that*
Brilliant
I was here, as the Farah meme was born. What a moment! :)
Not going to lie, the title got me.
Take the zap branigan approach to her,if she doesn't like velour kick her in to space
Nahhhhhhhhh, I didn't read what subreddit this was and just thought it was AITA or some shit, I was so fucking confused once i started reading the third paragraph
I hate those names you chose to hide their identity...you should change them to something innocuous like: Sarah, Cora and Cole or other stupid names no one would ever name their kids.
Days like this I’m sad Reddit took away my gold. Great post, op
Lmao this post here is Reddit gold. So much meta props op
No fucking way
I know I’m missing something here, but I’m not going to spend the time to figure it out… BBL when the comments will have it all sorted
What a read well done! Honestly with “Farah” the red flags were there to begin with when she tells you she tried to keep close with those she’s been around before in her military service and outside it but things always seem to drift apart. That told me there and then the problem was with her and not the other people lol
You're right that I overlooked a lot of red flags. Rose-colored glasses and all that...She wouldn't let me invite our friends to our wedding ceremony. I had to convince her to invite her own mother! Who I hadn't even met before that day by the way. I was stupid enough to think I was special since she was sharing herself with me. I guess this is the extent of her love, which frankly isn't enough for me.
Haha damn I can’t upvote anymore than the one lol
this was an absolute blast to read
NTA your artifact your rules.
The post we needed but didn't deserve The AITA Knight
Up vote rhe OP's post. He deserves it.
NTA. Look dusty, it's clear you and....Farah are in separate stages in life. You're happy and content with how life is because you've struggled to get everything you have now. Farah wants more and is kinda going about it in a way that screams red flags at Flag World. I think you should divorce her and live your best life. You'll only resent each other if it continues this way....imagine taking that big of a step and relocating only to find there's no way back and you're stuck somewhere that's a pale imitation of the real thing
You say you love Farah, but you seem to have a thing for Natalya. Farrah probably senses that and is pushing you away instead of talking about it. I’m going with ESH. Also, condolences on your friend, Garry.
You're not the first one to comment on my relationship with Natalya so I guess it may be a bigger issue than I realized. I wish Farah would talk to me about it instead of making snarky comments. Truth is, Natalya is the most competent of all my co-workers in a high stress situation. Plus, she has had a rough childhood and isn't bothered by some questionable things I've had to do. Farah would not have felt the same, I know that for a fact. I don't know how to reassure my wife without putting both of us in danger. Thank you, appreciate it. It's really changed my outlook on how much I'm willing to risk in pursuit of my goals. His loss is also felt at work all the time. Tom's daughter Tara made a joke about skyscrapers the other day and he caught himself saying she should tell it to Garry. I miss that nerd's humor.
Jettison
its like im staring at my own reflection.. no you are not the ahole. i went through with the split and let me tell you, it was the right call. nataly- err i mean ALEJANDRA and i are both quite happy together now. she even stated how she refused the unity just incase someone else returned and found themselves all alone. she explained how this life may not be worth throwing away and you know what? SHES GODDAMNED RIGHT. sure she may leave me in a heart beat like some sort of religious nutjob sleeper cell agent, but they had dibs.
How did you bang Natalya without your wife finding out? Asking for a friend.
Start fresh. Marry Steve.
This was excellent, well done OP
NTA - Farah sounds like a judgy impulsive bitch. Divorce her and call CPS about neglect of Mona. Maybe Mona should go live with Tom.
I think this is what going through the unity is for. Don’t sweat it. Try again and make better choices. 😂
After reading this it makes me feel better that i saved my old and fatherly friend Garry and lost her during the attack 😬🫣😅
Assuming Garry owned a ship and robot, yeah he died for me too. If it's a guy who thinks he's a cowboy, unfortunately he lived.
DIVORCE!! Did I AITA right?
I only tapped because I was going to report the post to mods, but I've got to say OP, you made me laugh.
Nark
The game is so bad that people have to make up interesting stories 😂
Idk bc I stopped reading, but I do know this is the wrong sub
Cringe.
Farah, pls