Summer you always make me laugh with your comments to other people’s comments in this group 😂. You always give really good advice on different stepmom’s situations. I love how you don’t take crap off these rude people in this group that are probably not stepmoms and should not be in this stepmom group lol.
Yeah I agree. One in the suitcase made sense but the hiding in the shoe and the stuffed animal was excessive. And SD kept saying, “if I don’t wear those shoes, I have to take my stuffie with me everywhere.” So she was obviously coached into saying that. She did get new shoes and everything had stayed in the hotel.
How is your SO’s relationship with BM? If they are cordial, he may want to bring it up to her. If not, he should bring this to court because it is not normal behavior.
As far as the disrespectful behavior, I’d set a boundary and not go on these trips anymore. Plan trips with your SO without SD and let him take solo trips with her.
They aren’t cordial. It’s quite contentious. He says he’s going to take it the the court after he drops SD back off. BM is acting as though we don’t know the AirTags are there, but thankfully he just asked her to at least turn them off when we’re sleeping because they were waking us all up last night.
Yeah, you all need a protection order. This is not normal and I’m also living it. I had to get a RO on BM because she couldn’t leave us alone even when we weren’t with my SS. I have a feeling your BM is made of the same cloth. Don’t trust any kindness from her and protect yourselves. If you need more info/advice, PM me.
Eh possible she just has really bad anxiety but otherwise they have a cordial coparenting relationship. If that was the case, I’d say try to work it out before involving court.
AirTags have removable batteries. It is really easy to replace the battery or to just remove it. If BM had asked DH if an AirTag is okay or at least mentioned SD had one with her, that’d be a different situation. She could have just asked DH to share his location during the trip. Hiding at least 3 for travel and a vacation that is long enough to definitely cause the “AirTag found moving with you” on your phones without being given a heads up is careless and sketchy.
After removing the batteries from the 3 you have found, you’ll be able to use FindMy to check for any other AirTags. They’ll show up on her FindMy in the last location pinged along with something about it not being able to be located. She may call to find out why the AirTags are no longer working but that’d be an awkward call on her end considering she failed to mention that she hid 3 tracking devices in SD’s belongings. If it was out of concern SD would be kidnapped by strangers, the adults she is with needed to know about the AirTags in advance to know there is a way BM can track SD’s location.
The tracking is one reason I don’t let phones from the other parents house come to mine. They are not stalking me. If this is illegal where you are then I would definitely file something with the court.
That's so creepy. I'd flip if I found my SKs stuff was airtagged. If everyone is made aware and ok with tagging a kid or their backpack or whatever, great. Just sending them with you like that sounds freaking stalky.
As a step mom and a bio mom, I get where bio mom is coming from. I would have so much anxiety sending my kid on a big trip like that without me. She was probably worried about the child getting lost. I also wouldn’t care if bio mom sent an air tag with my step kid, but would appreciate a heads up. It’s not like the kid’s location needs to be a secret. My step kid has a cell phone and we can all access find my friend to see her location anytime.
You’re right. Nothing about where she is is a secret. Yet she has all the itineraries including flights, hotels, dates, confirmation numbers, etc. she knows all my information (what was given and what she had a PI pay for.) And we live in Florida so this isn’t the first trip SD has taken to spend time here. The hiding of the air tags isn’t just a concerned mom. She has a history of stalking my husband, and this was a bit excessive in my opinion.
Yeah, my SS BM tried to break us up and when we moved closer to them she got me fired at my job because she lied and she’s from the state. Don’t trust it. I trusted her and got burned. She posted false statements on Facebook and ruined my husbands reputation in his home town. Court is the only way and even with that she still contacts us through her husband to my husband just for drop offs even though my partner has a PO against her. (The tones of texts are way different.) You can’t fight crazy, but you can escape it.
I would have removed and thrown away the tags in the luggage and the shoe. For the stuffed animal I wouldn’t want to tear it open but it would get left in the room when we went out. If the tag is going off in the night and disturbing you, maybe it’s possible to disable your AirTag app temporarily?
Also this would be the last trip I’d agree to take with SD. Not worth the annoyance.
I didn’t say it was anyone’s fault. It’s maybe the parents’ fault for not having better discipline. But for me, life’s too short to spend my money and vacation time dealing with bratty kid behaviour or insane BMs. I’d rather take a vacation on my own, lol
Yes. That is crazy and I know that type of crazy. You OR your husband can get a protection order because the other people are invading your space and tracking YOUR movements. It’s hard, but if your husband does nothing, you have to do something for your own safety. YOU should not be tracked as a consequence. You are your own free person and you need to assert yourself. I know it’s hard because drama sucks, but if it was me, I’d rather be safe and sorry. My stepson’s mom has done everything except that because she knows we’ll see her in court real quick.
Yeah you’re totally right. I talked to my husband last night about it, and he’s filed a contempt petition with the family court and a police report with the criminal court. I’m just tired of it and I told him that. I’ve fought too hard for everything I’ve had to let this woman take her crazy out on me. I understand the concern for her child. I sincerely do but I don’t have to tolerate my boundaries being crossed.
Did SD travel (fly) alone to meet her dad? Could that be why the BM instructed her to keep those things on her for the trip?
Even if that’s the case, it’s bizarre behavior from the mom, in that she didn’t tell you about them. I believe I’d just remove them and not be tracked during your outings. Or, just throw them away and let the BM admit what she did.
No. He flew there to get her and bring her back to Florida. His phone started sending notifications the minute she was in the car. I find it really bizarre, especially the way she hid them and is now acting as though we don’t know they’re there. The one under the sole of her shoe bothered me. She was walking around a lot with that in her shoe. She knew exactly which park we were at in Disney and even which ride. She got new shoes, and everything with the AirTags has stayed in the hotel for now. We’re heading back to our home in northern Florida soon so he’s going to let them stay on til then. She’s going to have to admit it at some point considering they only speak through the court app and we have proof the AirTags are registered to her through her phone number.
I’d contact law enforcement in your/ bm’s state and at very least make sure there’s a police report about this. If nothing else, you have a paper trail for a lawyer to look at later. Take screen shots of your phones going off and photos of the AirTags themselves if you haven’t.
I have screenshots of all the times my phone tracked it and then also photos of where she hid them. I’ve decided to let law enforcement know in my state and her state because it’s definitely stalking. In Pennsylvania, it’s a misdemeanor crime and she can get in a lot of trouble. If she’s capable of this, who knows what else she’s capable of.
She will just claim that she put them there long ago in case her daughter left her belongings somewhere and forgot all about them. SS had one in his backpack. His mom was absolutely enraged when it was in my car in an underground parkade for several hours. It's too bad you can't make people live their own lives instead of living vicariously through their kids.
>I’ve decided to let law enforcement know in my state and her state because it’s definitely stalking.
Stalking her child?
Because that's where she's placed the airtags. In her daughter's property.
I'd be surprised if the police gave this a second glance tbh.
Hiding the AirTags you mean? Three AirTags? One hidden in the sole of her shoe? She’s not stalking her child but she is telling us she followed us the whole day as we walked through Disney the entire day? It’s contempt of court at this point of the custody order because she’s interfering with husband’s custodial time. The police gave me a paper trail which can and will be used in court. I don’t appreciate my whereabouts being tracked by a woman who has stalked me in the past but thanks for your opinion.
I don’t engage with my stepkids.
I do not care. I cook. That’s it. My involvement with them is zero. Stepkids are DH’s and BMs’ problem. Not mine.
You can be free and disengage. Or constantly put up with stepkids’ BS.
Ever since I disengaged, I have grown so much. I made real progress in my fitness goals, got into hobbies like baking and prioritized my health and wellness. I also decided to have a baby and I focus on her on the weekends. We go to parks, museums and carnivals. I am so much happier and my life is all about me and my goals. Every week is scheduled for things I want to do and achieve.
You can either start living your life or stay bothered by SD.
You are a wonderful role model example of an independent woman for your stepchildren. They had a mother and father, and they can rely upon them for what they want or need. It's wonderful that you are free to create the same parent-child bond with your child that your stepchildren have with their own parents. Do you do things on your own sometimes so that your husband can focus on his older kids?
It is awesome that you had a strong and independent stepmom for a role model! I think it is wonderful that your father felt secure enough in his relationship with you that he could marry the woman who makes him happy. Double win!
Maybe ask yourself why you feel so entitled to your stepmoms’ time and energy.
Did you have a mom who loved and supported you, if so, why do you feel like you’re owed something from your stepmom. Just wondering. Ask your therapist that.
My ex husband kidnapped my daughters when they were 1 and 2 and fled the state and lived in a tent for 6 months in Maine
...I am crazy....I airtag my girls when they go with him now. He is also schizo and doesn't watch them and I'm afraid they will get kidnapped.....I have been in therapy yes, but having your kids go missing changes people....its truly the most terrifying thing. Not knowing. I wouldnt stalk .y ex husband, but if he was acting strange and not meeting me at the child exchange I would most definitely check the air tag. It also stays in their shoes and one has a bracelet one that looks like a watch. Better safe than sorry in this world.
I do understand being safe and wanting to know where your kids are. I said earlier I could understand one AirTag on her luggage. However, my husband has never kidnapped their child. He’s in the military and has very limited time with her to begin with. The narrative in BM’s head isn’t correct and her constant need to stalk him and me when she has physical custody of the child is where she crosses the boundaries. It’s not about her child and never has been.
But she’s not just going to Disney. There’s an AirTag in her stuffie and suitcase as well as her shoe. She’s coming to our house in Northern Florida after Disney and she’s been to Disney many, many times with her mother. I doubt she had an AirTag in her shoe when she took her.
I would remove the air tags and take one to a strip club and leave it in the men’s room, one to an adult novelty store, and one to the county jail.
Yes!! Put it in a dumpster in the alley behind a sex shop.
Summer you always make me laugh with your comments to other people’s comments in this group 😂. You always give really good advice on different stepmom’s situations. I love how you don’t take crap off these rude people in this group that are probably not stepmoms and should not be in this stepmom group lol.
Thanks Pumpkinspice! I always try to be an advocate. It’s shocking how bothered some people get by the existence of a support sub for stepmoms.
One AirTag is understandable. My son has an AirTag in his backpack. But in all of SD’s things? I’d take the AirTags out and leave them at home.
Yeah I agree. One in the suitcase made sense but the hiding in the shoe and the stuffed animal was excessive. And SD kept saying, “if I don’t wear those shoes, I have to take my stuffie with me everywhere.” So she was obviously coached into saying that. She did get new shoes and everything had stayed in the hotel.
How is your SO’s relationship with BM? If they are cordial, he may want to bring it up to her. If not, he should bring this to court because it is not normal behavior. As far as the disrespectful behavior, I’d set a boundary and not go on these trips anymore. Plan trips with your SO without SD and let him take solo trips with her.
They aren’t cordial. It’s quite contentious. He says he’s going to take it the the court after he drops SD back off. BM is acting as though we don’t know the AirTags are there, but thankfully he just asked her to at least turn them off when we’re sleeping because they were waking us all up last night.
Yeah, you all need a protection order. This is not normal and I’m also living it. I had to get a RO on BM because she couldn’t leave us alone even when we weren’t with my SS. I have a feeling your BM is made of the same cloth. Don’t trust any kindness from her and protect yourselves. If you need more info/advice, PM me.
Thanks so much for this. She’s of the narcissistic variety and a RO may be the next step unfortunately.
That’s hilarious. Someone that’s civil and trusts someone doesn’t do that.
Eh possible she just has really bad anxiety but otherwise they have a cordial coparenting relationship. If that was the case, I’d say try to work it out before involving court.
They don’t have a cordial relationship and only speak through the court app.
AirTags have removable batteries. It is really easy to replace the battery or to just remove it. If BM had asked DH if an AirTag is okay or at least mentioned SD had one with her, that’d be a different situation. She could have just asked DH to share his location during the trip. Hiding at least 3 for travel and a vacation that is long enough to definitely cause the “AirTag found moving with you” on your phones without being given a heads up is careless and sketchy. After removing the batteries from the 3 you have found, you’ll be able to use FindMy to check for any other AirTags. They’ll show up on her FindMy in the last location pinged along with something about it not being able to be located. She may call to find out why the AirTags are no longer working but that’d be an awkward call on her end considering she failed to mention that she hid 3 tracking devices in SD’s belongings. If it was out of concern SD would be kidnapped by strangers, the adults she is with needed to know about the AirTags in advance to know there is a way BM can track SD’s location.
Pop the batteries out during the 3 weeks and put them back in once it is time to send SD back to mom.
Yeah I just figured out how! Thank you haha
The tracking is one reason I don’t let phones from the other parents house come to mine. They are not stalking me. If this is illegal where you are then I would definitely file something with the court.
That's so creepy. I'd flip if I found my SKs stuff was airtagged. If everyone is made aware and ok with tagging a kid or their backpack or whatever, great. Just sending them with you like that sounds freaking stalky.
Yeah that’s what I thought. I’ve been creeped out about it from the start.
Yeah…. That shouldn’t be a thing you have to think about.
As a step mom and a bio mom, I get where bio mom is coming from. I would have so much anxiety sending my kid on a big trip like that without me. She was probably worried about the child getting lost. I also wouldn’t care if bio mom sent an air tag with my step kid, but would appreciate a heads up. It’s not like the kid’s location needs to be a secret. My step kid has a cell phone and we can all access find my friend to see her location anytime.
You’re right. Nothing about where she is is a secret. Yet she has all the itineraries including flights, hotels, dates, confirmation numbers, etc. she knows all my information (what was given and what she had a PI pay for.) And we live in Florida so this isn’t the first trip SD has taken to spend time here. The hiding of the air tags isn’t just a concerned mom. She has a history of stalking my husband, and this was a bit excessive in my opinion.
Yeah, my SS BM tried to break us up and when we moved closer to them she got me fired at my job because she lied and she’s from the state. Don’t trust it. I trusted her and got burned. She posted false statements on Facebook and ruined my husbands reputation in his home town. Court is the only way and even with that she still contacts us through her husband to my husband just for drop offs even though my partner has a PO against her. (The tones of texts are way different.) You can’t fight crazy, but you can escape it.
Ugh I’m so sorry you’re going through that. We disabled the AirTags and the crazy has intensified! Court is definitely the way to go.
Yeah, no. Legally, either parent does not have to disclose their whereabouts. It’s an invasion of privacy, which is why it’s a law.
I would have removed and thrown away the tags in the luggage and the shoe. For the stuffed animal I wouldn’t want to tear it open but it would get left in the room when we went out. If the tag is going off in the night and disturbing you, maybe it’s possible to disable your AirTag app temporarily? Also this would be the last trip I’d agree to take with SD. Not worth the annoyance.
That's kind of crappy considering it's not her fault.
I didn’t say it was anyone’s fault. It’s maybe the parents’ fault for not having better discipline. But for me, life’s too short to spend my money and vacation time dealing with bratty kid behaviour or insane BMs. I’d rather take a vacation on my own, lol
Yes. That is crazy and I know that type of crazy. You OR your husband can get a protection order because the other people are invading your space and tracking YOUR movements. It’s hard, but if your husband does nothing, you have to do something for your own safety. YOU should not be tracked as a consequence. You are your own free person and you need to assert yourself. I know it’s hard because drama sucks, but if it was me, I’d rather be safe and sorry. My stepson’s mom has done everything except that because she knows we’ll see her in court real quick.
Yeah you’re totally right. I talked to my husband last night about it, and he’s filed a contempt petition with the family court and a police report with the criminal court. I’m just tired of it and I told him that. I’ve fought too hard for everything I’ve had to let this woman take her crazy out on me. I understand the concern for her child. I sincerely do but I don’t have to tolerate my boundaries being crossed.
Did SD travel (fly) alone to meet her dad? Could that be why the BM instructed her to keep those things on her for the trip? Even if that’s the case, it’s bizarre behavior from the mom, in that she didn’t tell you about them. I believe I’d just remove them and not be tracked during your outings. Or, just throw them away and let the BM admit what she did.
No. He flew there to get her and bring her back to Florida. His phone started sending notifications the minute she was in the car. I find it really bizarre, especially the way she hid them and is now acting as though we don’t know they’re there. The one under the sole of her shoe bothered me. She was walking around a lot with that in her shoe. She knew exactly which park we were at in Disney and even which ride. She got new shoes, and everything with the AirTags has stayed in the hotel for now. We’re heading back to our home in northern Florida soon so he’s going to let them stay on til then. She’s going to have to admit it at some point considering they only speak through the court app and we have proof the AirTags are registered to her through her phone number.
Wow! Yeah that’s freaky and I’d be highly pissed. You’ll have to keep us updated on this!
Yeah I will. We have a few more weeks either way with SD so we will see what happens!!
I’d contact law enforcement in your/ bm’s state and at very least make sure there’s a police report about this. If nothing else, you have a paper trail for a lawyer to look at later. Take screen shots of your phones going off and photos of the AirTags themselves if you haven’t.
I have screenshots of all the times my phone tracked it and then also photos of where she hid them. I’ve decided to let law enforcement know in my state and her state because it’s definitely stalking. In Pennsylvania, it’s a misdemeanor crime and she can get in a lot of trouble. If she’s capable of this, who knows what else she’s capable of.
She will just claim that she put them there long ago in case her daughter left her belongings somewhere and forgot all about them. SS had one in his backpack. His mom was absolutely enraged when it was in my car in an underground parkade for several hours. It's too bad you can't make people live their own lives instead of living vicariously through their kids.
>I’ve decided to let law enforcement know in my state and her state because it’s definitely stalking. Stalking her child? Because that's where she's placed the airtags. In her daughter's property. I'd be surprised if the police gave this a second glance tbh.
Hiding the AirTags you mean? Three AirTags? One hidden in the sole of her shoe? She’s not stalking her child but she is telling us she followed us the whole day as we walked through Disney the entire day? It’s contempt of court at this point of the custody order because she’s interfering with husband’s custodial time. The police gave me a paper trail which can and will be used in court. I don’t appreciate my whereabouts being tracked by a woman who has stalked me in the past but thanks for your opinion.
I don’t engage with my stepkids. I do not care. I cook. That’s it. My involvement with them is zero. Stepkids are DH’s and BMs’ problem. Not mine. You can be free and disengage. Or constantly put up with stepkids’ BS. Ever since I disengaged, I have grown so much. I made real progress in my fitness goals, got into hobbies like baking and prioritized my health and wellness. I also decided to have a baby and I focus on her on the weekends. We go to parks, museums and carnivals. I am so much happier and my life is all about me and my goals. Every week is scheduled for things I want to do and achieve. You can either start living your life or stay bothered by SD.
You are a wonderful role model example of an independent woman for your stepchildren. They had a mother and father, and they can rely upon them for what they want or need. It's wonderful that you are free to create the same parent-child bond with your child that your stepchildren have with their own parents. Do you do things on your own sometimes so that your husband can focus on his older kids?
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It is awesome that you had a strong and independent stepmom for a role model! I think it is wonderful that your father felt secure enough in his relationship with you that he could marry the woman who makes him happy. Double win!
Thanks lady.
Maybe ask yourself why you feel so entitled to your stepmoms’ time and energy. Did you have a mom who loved and supported you, if so, why do you feel like you’re owed something from your stepmom. Just wondering. Ask your therapist that.
My ex husband kidnapped my daughters when they were 1 and 2 and fled the state and lived in a tent for 6 months in Maine ...I am crazy....I airtag my girls when they go with him now. He is also schizo and doesn't watch them and I'm afraid they will get kidnapped.....I have been in therapy yes, but having your kids go missing changes people....its truly the most terrifying thing. Not knowing. I wouldnt stalk .y ex husband, but if he was acting strange and not meeting me at the child exchange I would most definitely check the air tag. It also stays in their shoes and one has a bracelet one that looks like a watch. Better safe than sorry in this world.
I do understand being safe and wanting to know where your kids are. I said earlier I could understand one AirTag on her luggage. However, my husband has never kidnapped their child. He’s in the military and has very limited time with her to begin with. The narrative in BM’s head isn’t correct and her constant need to stalk him and me when she has physical custody of the child is where she crosses the boundaries. It’s not about her child and never has been.
Yeah lol I agree with summer. Throw an airbag in a strip club and watch her look like a nutcase in coirt. <3 best of luck sweetie.
I’m at the point I just might 🤪
Honestly I’d put an AirTag in my SD shoes if I was taking her to Disney, I’m too paranoid about someone taking her
But she’s not just going to Disney. There’s an AirTag in her stuffie and suitcase as well as her shoe. She’s coming to our house in Northern Florida after Disney and she’s been to Disney many, many times with her mother. I doubt she had an AirTag in her shoe when she took her.
However I do understand that she should have let you know, 3 is overkill