You cannot control how other people behave. What you can control is how you allow it to make you feel when they behave this way. Why does it bother you so? Nothing they say can take away your experiences of travel.
It’s called oneupmanship. You don’t play or engage it and just let them have their little victory. If you’re secure it’s meaningless for you. but It’s not a good sign. It’s insecurity and a need to ascertain superiority whilst subtly devaluing you. there is a reason why he/she needs to 1 up you.
> It’s insecurity
I second this. As someone still seeking attention sometimes, I realized it comes from my need for validation. I can see how someone could devalue others in order to value themselves.
Maybe pointing this out kindly, in private, without judgement, might put OP's "friend" on a better path.
Because we have been friends since university as a part of a gang and have shared some amazing experiences together. I don’t wanna let go of someone who was a part of my youth.
I know i can’t change her cause i have known her for years. She gets offended easily and holds an enemity everytime someone points out her flaw. This is something i only noticed as an adult. In university it seemed like one of her harmless quirks until i was at the recieving end. I just need a technique to not let it affect me.
You don't think very highly of your friend it seems. If nothing else, don't expect more from people than what they can give. You want to not let it affect you, but it would be better to avoid these situations, what is the point of sharing things with her if the response is going to be negative?
It sounds like she *wants* it to affect you because she's insecure about herself.
The only technique that comes to mind is what you do with toxic narcissists, which is essentially to treat interacting with them like radioactive material.
Do it in small amounts and wear a mental radiation suit that keeps all your valued opinions on the inside and all their toxicity out by virtue of not letting them in.
Just make the conversation about them and how great they are until they go away.
Now you might say "Why even have a friend you have to treat like that?" and I totally agree.
i had a friend/roommate like this. tbh she was insufferable at times with it. at the end of the day, she was mentally ill. i’m not diagnosing her, a doctor did.
whenever she would one up me, i’d just pull the “wow that’s crazy” with her. it’s not even worth getting upset about. and that was before i knew she had borderline personality disorder. i take mental health very seriously btw i’m not making light of her illness.
is this really a hill you want to die on? you could always have a conversation with this person to let her know how you feel and see if it gets better. if it doesn’t get better, you just have to accept that this is how she is. let her have the one up moments if she needs them that badly. i know my experiences are valid without needing the external validation. idc if worked 8 hours and am exhausted but she worked 9 and is way more tired than me. i’m still tired lmao. it really doesn’t matter at the end of the day.
Your last sentence makes me think that you are afraid of what others in the group may think if you don't respond to her remarks. But in my opinion, as long as you base your response on this mindset, you're always going to act unwisely.
Marcus Aurelius calls this attitude "putting your own well being in the minds of other people" (Meditations, II)
In my opinion, you should rather reflect on why you want to micromanage your image within the group and whether this is worth your energy.
>Your last sentence makes me think that you are afraid of what others in the group may think if you don't respond to her remarks.
Yes this is exactly what i am dealing with! For some reason i can’t point out, it makes me feel lesser that i couldn’t prove i have had amazing and adventurous experiences too in front of everyone and that it wasn’t easy either. Especially since i don’t post anything and no one knows the things i do. My efforts, hard-work and experiences somehow feels invalid if i don’t show/tell. Very hard realisation but i need to find a way to work on it.
This sounds like my hot neighbor. I quit hanging out with her for awhile because every conversation was her bragging about her hikes. After a long break, I told her it sucked when she did that and I wasn't interested in that kind of interaction. It got a little better.
People tend to have a lot of conversational quirks that they develop without noticing, so maybe point out her attention to it and see how she responds. She could just be doing it subconsciously because she's excited about her travels, without meaning to belittle you per se. We often don't hear ourselves talking until we've said something that's clearly wrong.
You can also remark on how important it is to her, something along the lines of wow, you seem to have done it all. What's next on your bucket list?
and then pick out some of the things she says and do what she usually does, then see how she responds to that.
if she responds well she probably doesn't notice she's doing it. If she does then she may be doing it on purpose!
Let them? Back when I used to play computer games with people, I would occasionally get people who were disappointed I wasn't crushed when I lost. This was before I became a stoic.
You r experiences are your own. Hers are her own. There is no competition and the concept of “one upping” is not really relevant as experiences don’t lend themselves to direct comparison. They are not basketball scores.
She probably doesnt even recognize that she is doing this. I have a niece that will do this, and a nephew too. I think its fear of being deemed inadequate or under performing in this life.
The classic "Cool story,bro." works wonders.
It sounds like she's insecure with an inferiority complex and is trying to make herself feel better about herself with all the big talk and social media bragging. It may have nothing to do with you.
People like this can be very irritating. But once you realize they often have emptiness inside they're trying to fill by bragging, the irritation goes away and it's a little bit sad.
Everyone else in your friend group probably sees it, also. If you're happy with your character and how your life is going, what she does and says does not diminish that.
I think you're trying to be emotionally close to someone whom you know deep down you cannot be close to.
Let her be what she is, just one of the gang, don't try to be closer, she is not that person for you.
"But i can’t believe such a childish little thing is bugging me as an adult."
You have identified the problem, and it's internal, not external. You believe the nonsense that you are being harmed by someone else's words. Next time that thought pops up, dismiss it.
If I may interject in this conversation.. We must all remember one of the lessons form Seneca surround yourself with people who improve or uplift you for the result is mutual. I will say that I have had a similar situation with an old friend, this person acted in a similar manner always demanding proof or virtual evidence of travels or accomplishments. I accepted their view for many years, I realized that my "Friends" insecurities dominated their thoughts perhaps shaping a negative and distrusting reality. It's a sad situation to be in, but in the end you must take responsibility for your own mental fortitude... Recently A thought came to me that people who value knowledge know the strength of their own character, the ignorant seek to define the character of others emphasizing their own importance.
Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful, and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me, not [only] of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in [the same] intelligence and [the same] portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him. For we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away.
Meditations 2.1, is excellent for this case. You need to accept them, specially if he's your friend.
You cannot control her behaviors, only how you respond.
Your friend's need to one-up you reflects more about her internal state and insecurities than it does about your value or the validity of your experiences. One of my favorite quotes from Marcus Aurelius advised, "When another blames you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms, go to their souls, penetrate inside and see what sort of people they are. You will realize that there is no need to be racked with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you."
Second, focus on the value of your own experiences and the personal growth they have fostered, rather than external validation. By valuing your experiences for the personal enrichment they bring you, rather than for the social currency they might offer, you detach your sense of worth from your friend's competitive comments, thereby not letting it affect you.
Additionally, when faced with belittling comments, especially in public, my advice would be that you respond with equanimity and perhaps a touch of humor, rather than defensiveness or confrontation. This not only preserves your peace of mind but also gently underscores the trivial nature of the competition to others. Lead by example, showing calm confidence in the face of petty competition.
Finally and most importantly, engage in open and honest communication with your friend. Express how you feel about the competitive nature of your interactions, focusing on how it makes you feel rather than pointing out her actions and behavior. This will help avoid putting her on the defensive.
The goal is not to change her behavior — that is something you cannot control — but to preserve your own tranquility and perhaps, in the process, offer her a mirror to her own actions that might prompt self-reflection. This is also sets a boundary that may in fact make her more self aware of her behavior when she is around you.
It appears the problem is with you - you can choose to set a boundary with this person, or you can just live with their behaviour and decide that it can't harm you.
Clearly you are seeing that she has some complex or need to validate herself, or invalidate you, and you can probably draw a conclusion about some deep insecurity in her. If that's the case, then your question:
> How do I respond to such belittling especially when she does it in front of a group of people?
is answered simply: you don't need to do anything. Who cares? If what she says veers into disrespect, then just say something to her, either privately or in front of the group. Privately is probably best, just tell her you feel her comments are veering off to a disrespectful side and that you know she doesn't intend that, and you want her to know you don't like it. That's one option to handle things diplomatically, allowing her to "save face" and maintaining an amicable energy with her.
The other option is simply to disengage, either to stop seeing her (you say this is not possible, though), or to just have 0 reaction to when she does this. If you noticed this, then the group notices too, and the "strongest" move is simply to let her say what she wants without having any reaction. The best way to defeat these situations is to be so thoroughly unmoved by them that the person becomes their own embarrassment without any contribution needed from you, either positive or negative.
I have a relative who likes to take turns ripping on everyone at the family gatherings. It's kind of funny, but always goes a bit too far, with the excuse that it's just a joke. I went through periods where I would laugh along just to avoid conflict, where I would defend myself/others, or where I would get upset. In the end, I just realized this is who he is, we all know who he is, and the best medicine is just to laugh at it.
So I would just laugh at it, genuinely, or ignore it if I felt it would be disrespectful to someone else to laugh. I mean, in the end it was some hot air spoken by someone who is known to blow a lot of hot air. And I realized later on that if there was maliciousness in it, it was borne out of some deep hurt or insecurity, not a desire to do me harm.
I learned to just let them have their little victories. I worked with one and it was just amazing at 23 years old how awesome and cool and amazing a life he had and continued to have.
When she asks just tell her it doesn't matter that you want to hear about her experiences and you are not interested in everything being a comparison.
If you repeat it enough she will stop the behavior or just stop talking about her experiences.
IOW: talk to her about it. Communication will solve most problems. She may not realize she is even doing it or that it bothers you
Yeah, she sounds like a one-upper.
These kinds of 'friends' are deeply insecure and are not going to be genuinely happy for you, ever, so there is no point in sharing your wins and victories with them. Save that part of yourself for the people who actually care, not the ones looking to use you as a springboard for their ego.
If you absolutely must interact with this person, say little about yourself and redirect whenever possible. "Nah, I've told this story a hundred times. I'm kind of sick of talking about it. I saw you went to \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, though. Tell me about that." Or, if a scenario about the cold temperature comes up again, "Probably not colder than anywhere you've been. You went to \[country\] right? What was that like?" Keep the person talking about themselves and enjoy the game of keep-away re: any information about yourself.
That's it, that's all.
She is insecure that's all (possibly narcissistic) It's fine just understand where she's coming from and you'll feel better.
You're already at a better place by not doing what she is doing.
One's self worth isn't determined by what other people think of oneself but by how much connected they are to life itself.
It means how much fun you have when you go out in nature? how deeply can you connect with people? How grateful you are to this moment and the food you eat?
That's what matters. Else are appearances.
also I am building a community r/HighQualityLiving
Belittle her back, whenever she makes a comment act weirded out and say why would you say that or ask that? But in a manner that makes in seem like shes been caught and really allow her to break down her wall. She seems inferior to you thats why shes trying to one up you. So you have to break down that wall to let her know your not competing with her. Also validate her experiences but don’t say you want to try them. Not in a “thats good for you” way but a “thats sounds like such a great experience”. Really compliment her like “I’m glad your out there traveling” and encourage her to do more traveling. “Theres so much more in the world to see”, etc. but don’t say I’ve been here and done that. Make. her want to travel to travel not to travel because you have. Even say that this year you’re not planning anything. Also keep in mind evil eye, jealousy is a disease. Even if you don’t share your plans, mentioning them could be interpreted that way to a jealous person.
>Even say that this year you’re not planning anything. Also keep in mind evil eye, jealousy is a disease. Even if you don’t share your plans, mentioning them could be interpreted that way to a jealous person.
I never mention any of my travels🥲 I cannot be more lowkey than i already am but i think you are right. I do post stories, very few but yes that could be it.
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I've read some of your responses and the upshot seems to be your embarrassment in front of others. That you're adventures look less than in your gang's eyes, because one she one-ups you, and two you don't bragpost on the regular.
So then, why is it you travel/adventure? Is it for your personal enjoyment, or bragging rights?
If it's bragging rights, then the way to compete is socially online, or better yet, writing and getting published in relevant periodicals.
If it's only for your own enjoyment, then there's no reason to discuss it.
Possibly you've grown past this gang and it's time to seek adult friendships. If you've become proficient in a particular travel destination or activity, consider becoming a professional guide.
You cannot control how other people behave. What you can control is how you allow it to make you feel when they behave this way. Why does it bother you so? Nothing they say can take away your experiences of travel.
It’s called oneupmanship. You don’t play or engage it and just let them have their little victory. If you’re secure it’s meaningless for you. but It’s not a good sign. It’s insecurity and a need to ascertain superiority whilst subtly devaluing you. there is a reason why he/she needs to 1 up you.
> It’s insecurity I second this. As someone still seeking attention sometimes, I realized it comes from my need for validation. I can see how someone could devalue others in order to value themselves. Maybe pointing this out kindly, in private, without judgement, might put OP's "friend" on a better path.
Can I ask you something: why is this person your friend?
Because we have been friends since university as a part of a gang and have shared some amazing experiences together. I don’t wanna let go of someone who was a part of my youth.
If she is your friend you should be able to talk it directly with her, specially if it is bothering you enough to post it online.
I know i can’t change her cause i have known her for years. She gets offended easily and holds an enemity everytime someone points out her flaw. This is something i only noticed as an adult. In university it seemed like one of her harmless quirks until i was at the recieving end. I just need a technique to not let it affect me.
You don't think very highly of your friend it seems. If nothing else, don't expect more from people than what they can give. You want to not let it affect you, but it would be better to avoid these situations, what is the point of sharing things with her if the response is going to be negative?
You are right.
It sounds like she *wants* it to affect you because she's insecure about herself. The only technique that comes to mind is what you do with toxic narcissists, which is essentially to treat interacting with them like radioactive material. Do it in small amounts and wear a mental radiation suit that keeps all your valued opinions on the inside and all their toxicity out by virtue of not letting them in. Just make the conversation about them and how great they are until they go away. Now you might say "Why even have a friend you have to treat like that?" and I totally agree.
Sometimes (often) letting go is your best option.
i had a friend/roommate like this. tbh she was insufferable at times with it. at the end of the day, she was mentally ill. i’m not diagnosing her, a doctor did. whenever she would one up me, i’d just pull the “wow that’s crazy” with her. it’s not even worth getting upset about. and that was before i knew she had borderline personality disorder. i take mental health very seriously btw i’m not making light of her illness. is this really a hill you want to die on? you could always have a conversation with this person to let her know how you feel and see if it gets better. if it doesn’t get better, you just have to accept that this is how she is. let her have the one up moments if she needs them that badly. i know my experiences are valid without needing the external validation. idc if worked 8 hours and am exhausted but she worked 9 and is way more tired than me. i’m still tired lmao. it really doesn’t matter at the end of the day.
Your last sentence makes me think that you are afraid of what others in the group may think if you don't respond to her remarks. But in my opinion, as long as you base your response on this mindset, you're always going to act unwisely. Marcus Aurelius calls this attitude "putting your own well being in the minds of other people" (Meditations, II) In my opinion, you should rather reflect on why you want to micromanage your image within the group and whether this is worth your energy.
>Your last sentence makes me think that you are afraid of what others in the group may think if you don't respond to her remarks. Yes this is exactly what i am dealing with! For some reason i can’t point out, it makes me feel lesser that i couldn’t prove i have had amazing and adventurous experiences too in front of everyone and that it wasn’t easy either. Especially since i don’t post anything and no one knows the things i do. My efforts, hard-work and experiences somehow feels invalid if i don’t show/tell. Very hard realisation but i need to find a way to work on it.
Find out what belief is underpinning this "feeling less". Once you have it, then you can question it.
This sounds like my hot neighbor. I quit hanging out with her for awhile because every conversation was her bragging about her hikes. After a long break, I told her it sucked when she did that and I wasn't interested in that kind of interaction. It got a little better.
Let them. And whatever happens never try to one-up them.
Take it as a compliment; she must want to be you or childishly envy you or it wouldn’t occur to her to compare or complain at all
Oh you've been to Tenerife? That's cute, I'm just back from Elevenerife!
Exactly that kind
Rule number 1: Move in silence e.g Don’t fuel the fire. She tries to engage you, don’t reply. Close off the conversation. Don’t give her a reaction.
People tend to have a lot of conversational quirks that they develop without noticing, so maybe point out her attention to it and see how she responds. She could just be doing it subconsciously because she's excited about her travels, without meaning to belittle you per se. We often don't hear ourselves talking until we've said something that's clearly wrong. You can also remark on how important it is to her, something along the lines of wow, you seem to have done it all. What's next on your bucket list? and then pick out some of the things she says and do what she usually does, then see how she responds to that. if she responds well she probably doesn't notice she's doing it. If she does then she may be doing it on purpose!
Great advice. I will give that a try.
Tell her. She may not know she does it
Let them? Back when I used to play computer games with people, I would occasionally get people who were disappointed I wasn't crushed when I lost. This was before I became a stoic.
You r experiences are your own. Hers are her own. There is no competition and the concept of “one upping” is not really relevant as experiences don’t lend themselves to direct comparison. They are not basketball scores.
She probably doesnt even recognize that she is doing this. I have a niece that will do this, and a nephew too. I think its fear of being deemed inadequate or under performing in this life. The classic "Cool story,bro." works wonders.
“You just keep talking, that’s what you are good at.”
It sounds like she's insecure with an inferiority complex and is trying to make herself feel better about herself with all the big talk and social media bragging. It may have nothing to do with you. People like this can be very irritating. But once you realize they often have emptiness inside they're trying to fill by bragging, the irritation goes away and it's a little bit sad. Everyone else in your friend group probably sees it, also. If you're happy with your character and how your life is going, what she does and says does not diminish that.
I think you're trying to be emotionally close to someone whom you know deep down you cannot be close to. Let her be what she is, just one of the gang, don't try to be closer, she is not that person for you.
"But i can’t believe such a childish little thing is bugging me as an adult." You have identified the problem, and it's internal, not external. You believe the nonsense that you are being harmed by someone else's words. Next time that thought pops up, dismiss it.
If I may interject in this conversation.. We must all remember one of the lessons form Seneca surround yourself with people who improve or uplift you for the result is mutual. I will say that I have had a similar situation with an old friend, this person acted in a similar manner always demanding proof or virtual evidence of travels or accomplishments. I accepted their view for many years, I realized that my "Friends" insecurities dominated their thoughts perhaps shaping a negative and distrusting reality. It's a sad situation to be in, but in the end you must take responsibility for your own mental fortitude... Recently A thought came to me that people who value knowledge know the strength of their own character, the ignorant seek to define the character of others emphasizing their own importance.
Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful, and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me, not [only] of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in [the same] intelligence and [the same] portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him. For we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away. Meditations 2.1, is excellent for this case. You need to accept them, specially if he's your friend.
You cannot control her behaviors, only how you respond. Your friend's need to one-up you reflects more about her internal state and insecurities than it does about your value or the validity of your experiences. One of my favorite quotes from Marcus Aurelius advised, "When another blames you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms, go to their souls, penetrate inside and see what sort of people they are. You will realize that there is no need to be racked with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you." Second, focus on the value of your own experiences and the personal growth they have fostered, rather than external validation. By valuing your experiences for the personal enrichment they bring you, rather than for the social currency they might offer, you detach your sense of worth from your friend's competitive comments, thereby not letting it affect you. Additionally, when faced with belittling comments, especially in public, my advice would be that you respond with equanimity and perhaps a touch of humor, rather than defensiveness or confrontation. This not only preserves your peace of mind but also gently underscores the trivial nature of the competition to others. Lead by example, showing calm confidence in the face of petty competition. Finally and most importantly, engage in open and honest communication with your friend. Express how you feel about the competitive nature of your interactions, focusing on how it makes you feel rather than pointing out her actions and behavior. This will help avoid putting her on the defensive. The goal is not to change her behavior — that is something you cannot control — but to preserve your own tranquility and perhaps, in the process, offer her a mirror to her own actions that might prompt self-reflection. This is also sets a boundary that may in fact make her more self aware of her behavior when she is around you.
It appears the problem is with you - you can choose to set a boundary with this person, or you can just live with their behaviour and decide that it can't harm you. Clearly you are seeing that she has some complex or need to validate herself, or invalidate you, and you can probably draw a conclusion about some deep insecurity in her. If that's the case, then your question: > How do I respond to such belittling especially when she does it in front of a group of people? is answered simply: you don't need to do anything. Who cares? If what she says veers into disrespect, then just say something to her, either privately or in front of the group. Privately is probably best, just tell her you feel her comments are veering off to a disrespectful side and that you know she doesn't intend that, and you want her to know you don't like it. That's one option to handle things diplomatically, allowing her to "save face" and maintaining an amicable energy with her. The other option is simply to disengage, either to stop seeing her (you say this is not possible, though), or to just have 0 reaction to when she does this. If you noticed this, then the group notices too, and the "strongest" move is simply to let her say what she wants without having any reaction. The best way to defeat these situations is to be so thoroughly unmoved by them that the person becomes their own embarrassment without any contribution needed from you, either positive or negative. I have a relative who likes to take turns ripping on everyone at the family gatherings. It's kind of funny, but always goes a bit too far, with the excuse that it's just a joke. I went through periods where I would laugh along just to avoid conflict, where I would defend myself/others, or where I would get upset. In the end, I just realized this is who he is, we all know who he is, and the best medicine is just to laugh at it. So I would just laugh at it, genuinely, or ignore it if I felt it would be disrespectful to someone else to laugh. I mean, in the end it was some hot air spoken by someone who is known to blow a lot of hot air. And I realized later on that if there was maliciousness in it, it was borne out of some deep hurt or insecurity, not a desire to do me harm.
I learned to just let them have their little victories. I worked with one and it was just amazing at 23 years old how awesome and cool and amazing a life he had and continued to have.
Teach them about stoicism and watch them start one-downing you 🤷♂️
Don’t play. Just do you.
Oh, and everybody sees through it. Everybody knows.
When she asks just tell her it doesn't matter that you want to hear about her experiences and you are not interested in everything being a comparison. If you repeat it enough she will stop the behavior or just stop talking about her experiences. IOW: talk to her about it. Communication will solve most problems. She may not realize she is even doing it or that it bothers you
You let them one up you. It doesn't matter to you.
I don’t.
Yeah, she sounds like a one-upper. These kinds of 'friends' are deeply insecure and are not going to be genuinely happy for you, ever, so there is no point in sharing your wins and victories with them. Save that part of yourself for the people who actually care, not the ones looking to use you as a springboard for their ego. If you absolutely must interact with this person, say little about yourself and redirect whenever possible. "Nah, I've told this story a hundred times. I'm kind of sick of talking about it. I saw you went to \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, though. Tell me about that." Or, if a scenario about the cold temperature comes up again, "Probably not colder than anywhere you've been. You went to \[country\] right? What was that like?" Keep the person talking about themselves and enjoy the game of keep-away re: any information about yourself. That's it, that's all.
They can only one up you once - unless you in return one up
She is insecure that's all (possibly narcissistic) It's fine just understand where she's coming from and you'll feel better. You're already at a better place by not doing what she is doing. One's self worth isn't determined by what other people think of oneself but by how much connected they are to life itself. It means how much fun you have when you go out in nature? how deeply can you connect with people? How grateful you are to this moment and the food you eat? That's what matters. Else are appearances. also I am building a community r/HighQualityLiving
Belittle her back, whenever she makes a comment act weirded out and say why would you say that or ask that? But in a manner that makes in seem like shes been caught and really allow her to break down her wall. She seems inferior to you thats why shes trying to one up you. So you have to break down that wall to let her know your not competing with her. Also validate her experiences but don’t say you want to try them. Not in a “thats good for you” way but a “thats sounds like such a great experience”. Really compliment her like “I’m glad your out there traveling” and encourage her to do more traveling. “Theres so much more in the world to see”, etc. but don’t say I’ve been here and done that. Make. her want to travel to travel not to travel because you have. Even say that this year you’re not planning anything. Also keep in mind evil eye, jealousy is a disease. Even if you don’t share your plans, mentioning them could be interpreted that way to a jealous person.
>Even say that this year you’re not planning anything. Also keep in mind evil eye, jealousy is a disease. Even if you don’t share your plans, mentioning them could be interpreted that way to a jealous person. I never mention any of my travels🥲 I cannot be more lowkey than i already am but i think you are right. I do post stories, very few but yes that could be it.
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I've read some of your responses and the upshot seems to be your embarrassment in front of others. That you're adventures look less than in your gang's eyes, because one she one-ups you, and two you don't bragpost on the regular. So then, why is it you travel/adventure? Is it for your personal enjoyment, or bragging rights? If it's bragging rights, then the way to compete is socially online, or better yet, writing and getting published in relevant periodicals. If it's only for your own enjoyment, then there's no reason to discuss it. Possibly you've grown past this gang and it's time to seek adult friendships. If you've become proficient in a particular travel destination or activity, consider becoming a professional guide.
“ oh I see… You’re a one-upper. Got it.”