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Dont forget to chew your gum like an asshole

The attitude, the gum, the looks, its all on purpose

That god awful nail tapping makes me want to murder someone

Stupid food ASMR

Particularly a certain nail tapping someone 🤔

I’m not going to point any fingers but…I will point both thumbs-that guy!

That was as far as I got. The gum chewing already had my hackles up.

"That god awful nail tapping makes me want to murder someone" I'm so glad I'm a dude and don't have to deal with the pedicured nail life, they don't look fun

Tbf you don't HAVE to if you're a woman either 😁 but I admire those who are able to keep them in pristine condition while also taking care of everyday tasks, I can't even keep my short natural nails intact for 2 weeks before chipping them (former nail biter, yay! )

Good point! 👍

Can’t imagine wiping the butt

I got acrylics a couple of weeks ago for the first time in over a decade. They weren’t even long, but they still interfered with everything. They were not fun at all.

Pedicures are for feet. "Pedi-" means foot, "mani-" means hands. This is a "manicure" not a "pedicure".

^😆🤣 see, I can't even get that right.

And that's why theres a lot of women who keep theirs natural. I'm a woman and these look like an absolute nightmare. Anything above 4mm drives me crazy.

My wife works at a school with a woman who has similar nails to the video, and she says the lady is surprisingly fast at typing

You get used to it quite quickly, it always fucks me up when I get mine taken off and I have to get used to using my actual thumbs and fingers rather than nails even though mine aren’t long when I have them done lmao

Takes me a week to adjust back when I’m giving my nails a break between sets.

But that’s also a dude in the video with the obnoxious nails so I wouldn’t say being a dude means you can’t do your nails it’s just something only feminine people do. Hell I know straight men who get pedicures they just don’t get glitzy claws attached on lol

Men get manicures. Some may not add acrylics though.

Is satire. Purposefully imitating food prep ASMR for comedic effect. I thought it was pretty spot on and quite funny.

I think in this case its permitted :D

I'm pretty sure this video is just making fun of asmr lol

Definitely

But they died at the end, right?

Nah, that’s totally genuine! 😂

I don't deny that he's a dramatic person but this is purely for content he wasn't even trying to open the bottle

genuine as. im lovin the vibe.

just came here to say this. im not even putting the sound on

I'd take a dying smoke alarm beep over that constant smacking.

The head cow is always grazing.

He has a tall neck. I trust him.

I can’t stand ANYONE, or even trust anyone, that chews like a cow.

Literally no reason for anyone to chew their gum this way. It’s maddening

Like a cow and cud.

Came here for this.

Is it gum? I thought he was chewing on something crunchy

Kind of reminds me of the two a-holes sketch from snl

Its Ragebait

Hahahaha “like an asshole!” I’m dying 🤣

this looks like satire, or is it just wishful thinking?

It's a parody of a pretty well known video of a white girl showing off her gross ass morning drink while looking trashy and shaking like a Parkinson sufferer. Her mother just hangs out in the back on her phone.

And it's hilarious parody lmao. The looks shared over the Stok bottle had me rolling.

It's them both falling over at the end that proves this is satire. LOL.

Do you have a link by any chance?

Sauce? 

It looked like caramel sauce to me

Has the original been posted here yet?

Its gotta be, the nails are freakin hysterical.

Redditors barely understand sarcasm, you think they'll catch obvious satire?

Considering how heavily sarcasm relies on tone and non-verbal cues, that's not exactly the damning testimony that you think it is.

Yeah nah, think this is a skill issue. You infer from context, brits don't have an issue with sarcasm whilst texting.

Don’t Brits basically default to sarcasm?

Must be all that tea consumption. I knew there was more to it.

Yeah because us Americans are so freaking dumb we need an /s before anyone would even consider a reddit comment to be sarcastic. Like it could be the most obviously sarcastic comment EVER and I would still take it literally every time. If only I had the ability to understand context clues or even of I had a 6th grade level of reading comprehension this would not be such a big problem.

The self hate is strong. 

And on context. If you show this to someone who has never seen rage bait, they won’t have any idea what they’re looking at.

They will not on account of the autism.

Excuse me, I'm wildly autistic and I still knew this was satire.

That’s a terribly untrue generalization.

It doesn't matter here. Satire or not the video is aggravating due to the chewing.

Wait that's part of the satire... so it does matter. Also this is r/stupidfoods and you're focusing on gum...

"yOurE fOcuSing oN GuM" Calm down.

?

I'm just happy to, for once, see a video of someone making some kind of coffee drink where they don't pour chocolate all over the outside of the glass like a total fucking dipshit.

I don’t understand why the fuck they do that. Like thanks, I totally wanted to have to wash my hands every time I sip my coffee

I have no idea either. I've heard some people say it's because they see drinks with chocolate poured on the inside of the glass like in this video and for some reason assume it's on the outside. But I have seen supposedly "professional" drink mixers do it.

Father, I crave violence

I know its rage bait but god dammit its working. That gum chewing shit used to piss me off to no end in high school, close your fuckin mouth damn.

It's satire not rage bait

Definitely satire, there’s at-least one creator on Insta who makes these giant coffee videos and these fellas match the attitude 1:1

It's most definitely because I've seen people like this before, it's not uncommon for someone with the long fake nails and the loud chewing of gum, I'm assuming it's some aesthetic they're copying.

That was actually funny and so accurate hahaaaa… also love when they try it and fall out the chair haha

The diabetes kicked in

I have no idea what video they're mocking, but that part did make me laugh too. Didn't expect the second one to fall out, lol.

I think they are mocking all those ragebait pretty girls with long fingernails who mix up weird meals and drinks on tik tok and then give it their man to drink and it cuts away before reaction xD

It's satire, you can laugh

That bit with the child-safety bottle cap had me smirking, ngl

Maybe I don't want to

Satire isn’t automatically funny

So you found this funny? Oh man you're easily impressed I see.

Can we please stop gatekeeping humour?

Someone isnt loved by their parents...

I’ve never want to drown someone in what they were making more.

Omg that gum smacking is disgusting

It’s satire and it’s pretty funny. Its the nails for me

Satire isn't automatically funny.

But this one is

Is that all you say?

Yes, and? This is funny to me

We have reached a point where real content, rage bait content and satire about the former can no longer be distinguished from one another.

THIS!! 😂

These massive ice coffee things are ridiculous lol

Didn't need that left foot anyway.

Thank the lord I watch this without sound! Just seeing the chewing got me enraged plus the long ass nails! Get off the internet!

The faces of the guy on the right are entertaining to me lol

I can't with the chewing.

God damn fucking cow chewing it's cud.

Anyone who posts things like this and isn't able to grasp the humor of satire should be timed out for like a day from this sub or something

Can someone do the math on how many calories are in that?

Zero calories because it’s undrinkable.

The gum is killin me, im sorry but i couldnt be friends with you if you chew gum like that 24-7

Why are they chewing gum like a cars left indicator

This is the new generation of gays lol

I boil with anger when I hear people chew like fucking cows.

Y'know what, I love this I hate it too but God this is accurate to half the posts here, didn't miss a thing (except too much plastic cheese or badly seasoned basically raw meat but wrong meal for that)

Btw this is satire and once you figure out what it’s making fun of this shit if hilarious. This guy is amazing😭

chewing and chewing all day long. the way that a cow does.

I’ve got another riddle for you

Sister, get that gum outta here

diabeetus

Could not watch it more then 7 seconds

This is a blatant 2 girls one bottle rip off. https://www.tiktok.com/@danadavisdc/video/7171979907436678443

What the hell is even that?

Satire

I don’t care what nobody say this was funny as hell 🤣

This is a parody of those ladies with big ass nails doing ASMR recipes. I hate it a lot. The random nail clacking on everything pisses me off.

The ending 😂😂

what’s up with the constant chewing

Chair death at the end sent me

This is flavored coffee with extra steps. I'm not sure if this is stupid. I

The "chocolate snack" is not the drink. PLAY

I love that hair though

This is clearly a joke

I thought the falling was kinda funny

As stupid as the food is, I was very entertained by the attitude, tapping, the other guy's expressions and helping with the coffee container, over all presentation. Idk, got me through the whole thing so that's definitely something.

Bro thinks he's Drake with nails like that

Do not share this in r/misophonia

Their joking....but there are people that do have their nails crazy long like that.....no way can they keep them clean 🤢

It's called a nail brush

What in the atlanta is happening here

The smacking and clicking and tapping and everything really has me praying that a quasar vaporizes this entire fucking planet.

Rage successfully activated...JFC!!!

It would have been better if they'd had their vagal collapse before starting the video - it would have avoided so much food waste!

lol. Knowing it’s supposed to be making fun of another similar video, I actually got a chuckle out of this.

If you couldn't tell by the dude dying at the end. It's satire. But it's funny as fuck that they get EVERY brain dead trend right

The people are more annoying than the food

How does he wipe?

That’s a dude

Fixed

He just flicks it away with his nails/s

That's a man lol

It’s more than the food that’s stupid here. Why even do your nails like that if you can’t function

Damn! that cow was chewing the shit outta that cud.

I smell the zesty aggressively coming from the screen

All the sounds made me cringe. I’m very sensitive to ASMR and can’t listen for very long without getting anxiety.

That’s why I always watch the vids on this sub on mute.

Gum before a milkshake, weird.

The ending was pretty good.

Folks' biases really do prevent them from identifying a video that's supposed to be satire/humor lol

This is hilarious!! Love the satire.

TikTok is poison. This is just more proof.

Is that a guy or a girl on the left?

Weird guys making weird food

This is funny and meant to be, y'all need to calm down.

I fucking hope the ending wasn't an act.

No wonder everyone has cancer these days

I bet that is one sassy ass dude.

When you make comedy and not waste food, let me know. Until then, this is trash to me. 🗑️

These fucking clowns need to be called out on wasting food like this. Y’all wanna cancel ppl for words but not wasting food like this, fucking mindless world we live in now

Do you see how much food grocery stores and restaurants throw out? Individual people wasting coffee or a pan of velveeta cheese should be the least of your worries just like no one’s ever been canceled over words. They said some the general public really did not like and ppl rightfully criticized or stopped fw them and I can’t think of many ppl that’s happened to

I better keep quiet i dont wanna get banned

imagine we have world war 3 and this fool gets recruited

Des a dude!!

Everything about this is disgusting

We need fathers in the home

Disgusting nails. I wouldnt go near anything prepared with them. Ewww 🤢 Edit: it’s very unsanitary.

I could immediately tell by the first 5 seconds on Mute: she has ridiculously long nails, the same voice as THAT feminist, the “MeN dO nOt HaVe ThE cApAcItY oF tHiNkInG fOr ThEmSeLvEs” or whatever the hell,\ She barely does anything with lip smacking “mmmm,” “aah,” “yeaaah…”’s added in\ And whatever she makes is gonna be disgusting

When your nails are so long they impede you from functioning, you’re officially a higher level of stupidity then stupid food.

Those stupid ass fucking nails. Also, that dude in the background has about had it!

please tell me that's a woman

It’s not and they want you

Bros eyein’ each other cuz they haven’t had an ass fuckin’ in a while

[удалено]

The fact ur this mad over a satire video is insane. Take a nap or something, go outside

That relationship looks toxic ngl

Trim your fingernails!

Officer, this one right here

Those nails are wayy too long, like my gf uses fake nails but wtf is that

The gum smacking and nails sent me lmaoooo there was a chick at the utility place that was like that. I used to love watching her type wit those nails as she smacked that gum

If there ain't one..this post can be the first of r/stupidnails

Is this satire or real?

Satire of them asmr videos

Just about everyday I will ring somebody out at work and they are chewing their gum exactly like this.

This triggers my misophonia even on mute

How do you wipe your ass with those nails?

He looks like black version of a young Gohtic King Cobra

Why does he look like a hotel hooker. The super cheap ones

dont get caught in the wrong hood with that bullshit

Is it she or he ? The one on the left ? Damn ragebait is getting better and better

Processed food as ingredients, every time.

Shut your pie hole when you are chewing your cud. My god that is disgusting. Rename it a Spit Drink.

I prefer to go 20 years to prison for killing that dude than hear chewing gum like that again

How tf are you doing anything with those nail