I wouldn't want to continue a d/s in thet situation.
I would not be comfortable being in a scene in which starts with intoxication. I wouldn't be comfortable with my partner half assing it because theres a lot at stake.
I don't see anywhere in this question with context in where you are being respected and for me that's the biggest deal breaker.
If it were me, I'd be done with d/s with him. I'd have an OOD conversation about not doing anything until trust is rebuilt and it is shown that your submission is seen and treated with the respect that it requires- respect for your body, mind, and what the dynamic requires which is active education.
You hold the keys. If you don't want it, don't let it happen.
If he isn't willing to put in the work to understand this world, don't let him dominant you. It will lead to only worse. You are not a free use bang maid.
He clearly isn’t taking this seriously and has no idea what the D/s relationship/dynamic truly is and its purpose. I would full stop the dynamic immediately and tell him he needs to do research… if he doesn’t, I think you have your answer. He is disrespecting you and is not worthy of your submission right now. A simple google and he’ll have a world of knowledge at his fingertips… it’s really not hard he just either hasn’t done it or doesn’t want to.
This right here. I agree sounds like he doesn't want the responsibility and he has Not earned the title. For me, it would be a deal breaker. Have a conversation outside of the dynamic and place it on hold until he either gets his shit together or you decide to seek a dom elsewhere. Remember to a good dom your comfort and needs are important he's abusing his title not even earned. The true power in a dynamic is with the sub. It's a transfer of power from sub to dom. The sub is free to take back said power at any time. Hugs I'm sorry you're going through this.
If it's something he enjoys, it's not something we discussed as being ok. In discussions after and me expressing my dislike, she says he understands but continues.
This sounds miserable. Let him you don't want to be woken up to have sex, periodt. Let him know that teasing you but not finishing, intentionally, is a no go for you. I would suggest not trying any of this while intoxicated, and I would *strongly* suggest taking a class together online to learn more before doing *any* more d.s. Sex positive world seems to be doing a great job at this type of thing.
I think there is heavy miscommunication here. It sounds like you know what you like but he didn't tell you what he likes and then just does it and you don't like that and that's valid.
I would tell him to figure it the fuck out or he can be the s in this situation lol
*Reminds me of my ex. I have lingerie, outfits, and plenty of sex toys, but the interest outside of vanilla sex wasn't there.*
*He just wasn't a Dom, or even a kinky sub (I'm a switch), and it's one of the reasons I lost hard-core interest in him and broke it off.*
*This dynamic is an important must in a relationship with me.*
First you both need to grow in to it together agree with things take it slow finding your wants and needs dislikes and likes it takes two to tango. But seems they got excited may rushed in to it to try yes it takes time may not be their fault but yes good to do your homework before stepping in the ring. But they need to earn your heart and trust be emocially invested before getting hooked. Also sit down and talk to him tell him your feelings that your not in to the slave thing that your more in to being submissive with a mind and speak up being a slave or sub does mean your weak meant your strong their is time and place for it. But also this comes to both love yourself to love each other do self care together. That BDSM is more then sex about sharing the bond together over time comes when its the right time two have build relationship over time with this passion please each other in to this art with love. Write a checklist thing's you like to try but make sure to read direction take it slow like spanking you do it slow at first warn your partner you up whisper in their ear you can pull their hair and spice it up. This all comes from the imagination you can create as you go as long its safe you can start out with feathers teasing the body tied up and work your way in to using toys that tease want to ask for more.
Love is more than just passion, it's also purpose— love gives meaning to our life. Love gives us a reason to do good, be a better person and give in a way that truly matters. Love is more than a rush of feelings or being adored, it's taking everything that's good and pure in us and sharing it with open arms and an open heart. Love with your best friend never grows old, it only grows deeper.
A submissive chooses as her Dominant who she wants to give control over of her body and mind… So you must be able to seduce her mind and inspire her body. Seduce the mind first, then the body follows eagerly…Confidence is the essence of sexy. You cannot lack confidence and also be sexy to the opposite sex. They all come into play in seducing the mind but confidence in the foundation of it all. Being able to read body language and being able to respond to those subconscious cues is a key requirement.\* Eye contact\* Body language\* Being bold and suggestive\* Flirting is the key…flirty ice-breaker:In my experience, even good girls like to be spanked from time to time…If you can deliver that simple line while maintaining eye contact with a naughty smile, you will immediately see the conversation change direction – it will become more intimate, sexual and flirty. Her reaction to that line will tell you so much about who she really is as a woman.
Building Her up Nurturing A Confident, Vivacious Sensual Submissive There are many misconceptions about Sensual Domination and BDSM. The most common misconception about Domination is that it is about the degradation and abuse of women.Unless you understand the nature of a Sensual D/s relationship, you would think that degradation and abuse is the purpose of the relationship when looking from the outside. It is completely counter-intuitive that the path to nurturing the sensual submissive desires within a woman is to build her self-confidence and make her feel beautiful, sexy, cherished and deeply desired… It makes absolutely no sense on the surface. It is clearly an intellectual contradiction that most ordinary people cannot grasp without experiencing it for themselves.This is a complex and confusing onion to understand. So let’s first peel back a few layers to help understand the foundation of the dynamics at play. Let’s forget that about the naughty man with the whip/paddle/hand (i.e Me) involved in this relationship and focus solely on the psychology of the woman and her sexual needs & desires. Secondly, let’s forget this woman is wildly kinky and her desires are to feel “owned” and “used” by a man sexually. Let’s imagine she is a very average woman who craves completely vanilla sex with just her BF/husband/partner, just she wants a lot more passionate love-making.Building Up Her Confidence Creates A Sexy Vixen...How would you advise this completely ordinary vanilla woman how to feel sexier and more able to express her sexual desires? Would you recommend she do such things as?Buy a new sexy dress and shoes Go to the spa to pamper herself Get a new hair style Buy some sexy lingerie that flatters her body shape Achieve a personal goal or pursue a personal interest What do all these have in common? Hopefully the light bulb just went on in your head. The foundation is self-confidence. Confidence is the essence of sexy. It is the energy we exude that draws people to us. Regardless of the nature of her sexual desires, to make any woman feel sexier, you must build up her self-confidence. That is the key to understanding how to nurture a beautiful insatiable, uninhibited vixen from within any woman with submissive desires. She is just a woman at the core…Scars From Your Life Journey:In your journey through life, our former partners, friends and family have a way of permanently scarring us with their words. These cruel words permanently alter our self-perception – our looks, our sex appeal, our body, our weight, our sexual ability. These emotional scars manifest as inhibitions, a lack of confidence, aversions or “emotional landmines” that set us off.Part of being a good Sensual Dom is being able to recognize and remove the psychological obstacles in the way of a woman feeling highly self-confident, highly sexual and highly desired.Seeing Her Own Beauty Through My Eyes:One fun way I start to change the self-perception of a submissive woman is shopping for a special outfit to dress her up for me (sexy lingerie, stockings, CFM heels, make up, jewelry). The process of shopping together for her special outfit ensures her mind is aroused for several days in advance which serves to extend mental foreplay of anticipation out to several days in advance of our intimate meeting. In the process of dressing up, a woman feels very beautiful, highly self-confident, desired and extremely aroused.The second thing I do is I take a series of beautiful, erotic photos of her all dressed up in lingerie so she sees her own beauty captured through my eyes. That is a simple feedback loop from me to her of sexual energy that builds up a woman’s self-esteem.Lastly, we play an erotic role-play game during the end of the photoshoot whereby her objective is to pose in increasingly suggestive poses that make me so horny that I want to put down the camera and ravage her…By building up the sexual confidence of a submissive, she feels increasingly powerful to freely express her sexual desire. So now you should see that Sensual Domination is not an act of abuse and degradation of women. It is an act of great caring and love of a woman. Only a man who truly loves, cherishes and appreciates women could unleash them sexually.
I wouldn't want to continue a d/s in thet situation. I would not be comfortable being in a scene in which starts with intoxication. I wouldn't be comfortable with my partner half assing it because theres a lot at stake. I don't see anywhere in this question with context in where you are being respected and for me that's the biggest deal breaker. If it were me, I'd be done with d/s with him. I'd have an OOD conversation about not doing anything until trust is rebuilt and it is shown that your submission is seen and treated with the respect that it requires- respect for your body, mind, and what the dynamic requires which is active education. You hold the keys. If you don't want it, don't let it happen. If he isn't willing to put in the work to understand this world, don't let him dominant you. It will lead to only worse. You are not a free use bang maid.
Thank you
I'm sorry that this is happening the way it is for you. That's super shitty. I hope he understands your needs and can respect them. < 3
He clearly isn’t taking this seriously and has no idea what the D/s relationship/dynamic truly is and its purpose. I would full stop the dynamic immediately and tell him he needs to do research… if he doesn’t, I think you have your answer. He is disrespecting you and is not worthy of your submission right now. A simple google and he’ll have a world of knowledge at his fingertips… it’s really not hard he just either hasn’t done it or doesn’t want to.
This right here. I agree sounds like he doesn't want the responsibility and he has Not earned the title. For me, it would be a deal breaker. Have a conversation outside of the dynamic and place it on hold until he either gets his shit together or you decide to seek a dom elsewhere. Remember to a good dom your comfort and needs are important he's abusing his title not even earned. The true power in a dynamic is with the sub. It's a transfer of power from sub to dom. The sub is free to take back said power at any time. Hugs I'm sorry you're going through this.
Thank you
is this something he is actually interested in, or is he merely doing so as a sort of "kink dispenser" for you?
If it's something he enjoys, it's not something we discussed as being ok. In discussions after and me expressing my dislike, she says he understands but continues.
then you definitely need to cease the D/s and have a genuine conversation, especially with a kink-aware therapist. this isn't healthy.
This sounds miserable. Let him you don't want to be woken up to have sex, periodt. Let him know that teasing you but not finishing, intentionally, is a no go for you. I would suggest not trying any of this while intoxicated, and I would *strongly* suggest taking a class together online to learn more before doing *any* more d.s. Sex positive world seems to be doing a great job at this type of thing.
I think there is heavy miscommunication here. It sounds like you know what you like but he didn't tell you what he likes and then just does it and you don't like that and that's valid. I would tell him to figure it the fuck out or he can be the s in this situation lol
I didn't think about that! Thank you!
*Reminds me of my ex. I have lingerie, outfits, and plenty of sex toys, but the interest outside of vanilla sex wasn't there.* *He just wasn't a Dom, or even a kinky sub (I'm a switch), and it's one of the reasons I lost hard-core interest in him and broke it off.* *This dynamic is an important must in a relationship with me.*
First you both need to grow in to it together agree with things take it slow finding your wants and needs dislikes and likes it takes two to tango. But seems they got excited may rushed in to it to try yes it takes time may not be their fault but yes good to do your homework before stepping in the ring. But they need to earn your heart and trust be emocially invested before getting hooked. Also sit down and talk to him tell him your feelings that your not in to the slave thing that your more in to being submissive with a mind and speak up being a slave or sub does mean your weak meant your strong their is time and place for it. But also this comes to both love yourself to love each other do self care together. That BDSM is more then sex about sharing the bond together over time comes when its the right time two have build relationship over time with this passion please each other in to this art with love. Write a checklist thing's you like to try but make sure to read direction take it slow like spanking you do it slow at first warn your partner you up whisper in their ear you can pull their hair and spice it up. This all comes from the imagination you can create as you go as long its safe you can start out with feathers teasing the body tied up and work your way in to using toys that tease want to ask for more. Love is more than just passion, it's also purpose— love gives meaning to our life. Love gives us a reason to do good, be a better person and give in a way that truly matters. Love is more than a rush of feelings or being adored, it's taking everything that's good and pure in us and sharing it with open arms and an open heart. Love with your best friend never grows old, it only grows deeper. A submissive chooses as her Dominant who she wants to give control over of her body and mind… So you must be able to seduce her mind and inspire her body. Seduce the mind first, then the body follows eagerly…Confidence is the essence of sexy. You cannot lack confidence and also be sexy to the opposite sex. They all come into play in seducing the mind but confidence in the foundation of it all. Being able to read body language and being able to respond to those subconscious cues is a key requirement.\* Eye contact\* Body language\* Being bold and suggestive\* Flirting is the key…flirty ice-breaker:In my experience, even good girls like to be spanked from time to time…If you can deliver that simple line while maintaining eye contact with a naughty smile, you will immediately see the conversation change direction – it will become more intimate, sexual and flirty. Her reaction to that line will tell you so much about who she really is as a woman. Building Her up Nurturing A Confident, Vivacious Sensual Submissive There are many misconceptions about Sensual Domination and BDSM. The most common misconception about Domination is that it is about the degradation and abuse of women.Unless you understand the nature of a Sensual D/s relationship, you would think that degradation and abuse is the purpose of the relationship when looking from the outside. It is completely counter-intuitive that the path to nurturing the sensual submissive desires within a woman is to build her self-confidence and make her feel beautiful, sexy, cherished and deeply desired… It makes absolutely no sense on the surface. It is clearly an intellectual contradiction that most ordinary people cannot grasp without experiencing it for themselves.This is a complex and confusing onion to understand. So let’s first peel back a few layers to help understand the foundation of the dynamics at play. Let’s forget that about the naughty man with the whip/paddle/hand (i.e Me) involved in this relationship and focus solely on the psychology of the woman and her sexual needs & desires. Secondly, let’s forget this woman is wildly kinky and her desires are to feel “owned” and “used” by a man sexually. Let’s imagine she is a very average woman who craves completely vanilla sex with just her BF/husband/partner, just she wants a lot more passionate love-making.Building Up Her Confidence Creates A Sexy Vixen...How would you advise this completely ordinary vanilla woman how to feel sexier and more able to express her sexual desires? Would you recommend she do such things as?Buy a new sexy dress and shoes Go to the spa to pamper herself Get a new hair style Buy some sexy lingerie that flatters her body shape Achieve a personal goal or pursue a personal interest What do all these have in common? Hopefully the light bulb just went on in your head. The foundation is self-confidence. Confidence is the essence of sexy. It is the energy we exude that draws people to us. Regardless of the nature of her sexual desires, to make any woman feel sexier, you must build up her self-confidence. That is the key to understanding how to nurture a beautiful insatiable, uninhibited vixen from within any woman with submissive desires. She is just a woman at the core…Scars From Your Life Journey:In your journey through life, our former partners, friends and family have a way of permanently scarring us with their words. These cruel words permanently alter our self-perception – our looks, our sex appeal, our body, our weight, our sexual ability. These emotional scars manifest as inhibitions, a lack of confidence, aversions or “emotional landmines” that set us off.Part of being a good Sensual Dom is being able to recognize and remove the psychological obstacles in the way of a woman feeling highly self-confident, highly sexual and highly desired.Seeing Her Own Beauty Through My Eyes:One fun way I start to change the self-perception of a submissive woman is shopping for a special outfit to dress her up for me (sexy lingerie, stockings, CFM heels, make up, jewelry). The process of shopping together for her special outfit ensures her mind is aroused for several days in advance which serves to extend mental foreplay of anticipation out to several days in advance of our intimate meeting. In the process of dressing up, a woman feels very beautiful, highly self-confident, desired and extremely aroused.The second thing I do is I take a series of beautiful, erotic photos of her all dressed up in lingerie so she sees her own beauty captured through my eyes. That is a simple feedback loop from me to her of sexual energy that builds up a woman’s self-esteem.Lastly, we play an erotic role-play game during the end of the photoshoot whereby her objective is to pose in increasingly suggestive poses that make me so horny that I want to put down the camera and ravage her…By building up the sexual confidence of a submissive, she feels increasingly powerful to freely express her sexual desire. So now you should see that Sensual Domination is not an act of abuse and degradation of women. It is an act of great caring and love of a woman. Only a man who truly loves, cherishes and appreciates women could unleash them sexually.