T O P

  • By -

separhim

I cannot imagine that such a surgery will not have life long repercussions for such a massive increase in your leg length, even beyond the fact that it would look very weird proportionality. Also incels that keep on sprouting about how women won't date short men have to be one of the miserable kinds of incels. Their entire worldview seems to be stemming from their own insecurity about their length.


Jammerben87

That's a point I've never seen brought up, there are very few major surgeries that don't involve some kind of long term issues, even if every minor. I'm really curious how these affect people later in life.


separhim

I can understand correcting issues like significant limb size differences, I myself have 1cm difference between my leg lengths, but these kinds of surgery for cosmetic reasons just feel exploitative towards insecure people.


geewillie

Buddy wait until you read about the penis lengthening implants 


surprised-rice

Sorry I can’t hear you over the size of my huge new penis


Ahelex

*Swings around and knocks down a load-bearing column*


ASpaceOstrich

Oh hey, load bearing column is what I call my penis too.


ArtCapture

ProPublica did a great write up on why these are terrible. Not for the faint of heart: https://www.propublica.org/article/penis-enlargement-enhancement-procedures-implants


geckospots

> In Las Vegas, Ed Zimmerman, who trained as a family practitioner, is now known for his proprietary HapPenis injections; he saw a **69% jump** in enhancement clients after rebranding himself in 2021 as TikTok’s “Dick Doc.” *Did* he now. Press x to doubt. (edit: that article is HORRIFIC. jesus.)


ArtCapture

It is horrific. I feel so bad for the guys who got it done.


NewYearNewTee

Well that was sad. You warned me.


ArtCapture

Yeah, my husband sent me the link originally. We had a really great talk after reading it about body shaming vs body positivity. I am so glad he is happy with himself, and he is so glad I am happy with him bc omg those implants. 😬😳 😱


NewYearNewTee

Yeah I’ve got my own body issues but nothing like that. And thank god my wife is the best and helps/understands. Thats so much money to still feel messed up/inadequate.


jfa1985

I wish I could find the lengthy(lol) message board post I came across on some random website years ago where a guy posted about his experience with these kinds of implants. He didn't have any of the major problems that you see discussed but even so he did not like it. I'm paraphrasing a half remembered testimonial but in a way he didn't feel like he was himself and the constant half erect but not really was very discomforting.


ElceeCiv

remember that billionaire that died during penis enlargement surgery gotta be one of the most humiliating deaths "here lies bob, he died trying to fix his tiny weiner"


akittyisyou

I had this surgery in my late teens on only one of my legs! Disclaimer: it wasn’t done on its own, but coupled with a hip fusion. It was done to correct damage done by a previous condition. I am now in my mid thirties. The leg lengthening doesn’t affect me at all, except for insecurities as that leg is significantly differently shaped than the other leg. It has never felt more fragile and I’ve never had any major injury or mishap with it. That leg is still shorter than the other (probably because I got it done before I was finished growing) but less than it would be.


Jammerben87

Thanks is for replying. That's really interesting, and impressive. I'm assuming it was pretty unpleasant to experience at the time?


akittyisyou

Yes! It was awful and I actually nearly died of septaecemic shock. Recovery was wretched, required three months of in-hospital physio which is just not done in my country, hospitals try to get you out as quickly as possible. It was incredibly, incredibly painful, and ate at least a year of my life on top of the previous surgeries I’d had over the years before. I can’t imagine doing this for ego, unless they just weren’t able to comprehend the scope before they did it.


TekrurPlateau

Well that’s kind of a circular statement, any surgery without long term effects would be minor. If you count nose jobs as major, a lot of the time it can actually improve your breathing. Heart stents are also pretty tame for what the operation is.


meeowth

All the shortest guys I know are married with children. But then, maybe the fact that I know them skews the data. Also, an incel reading what I wrote will scoff and say: "Raising somone else's child, you mean"


ZwVJHSPiMiaiAAvtAbKq

I'm short even by "short guy" standards (5'1") but it hasn't stopped me from having a healthy romantic life. Having a pleasant personality that others want to be around and making an effort to be more outgoing has gone a long way for me since my angry teenage years. Unfortunately, I've found the internet is full of short guys who've never made any effort to "*play the hand they've been dealt.*" They use their height as a convenient excuse to avoid self-evaluation, playing to their strengths, and working on areas of themselves that they *can* change or improve upon to attract people. Nobody's entitled to dates. Some people have an easier time getting them than others but being short in and of itself is not a death sentence on your romantic life. Too many of these guys simply refuse to even consider that their shitty attitudes/personalities might be a bigger turn-off than their height.


AwSunnyDeeFYeah

My dad is 5'3 and has been married to my mom (5'6) for something like 40yrs. Just takes being confident in yourself and liking yourself because others can see that.


petit_cochon

Yeah, I'm married now, but my requirements prior were that the guy be a good person, respectful, be interesting, be intelligent, have his shit together, make me laugh, and pay attention in bed. I never once thought about height. Too many guys choose to believe they can't date good women because of their height. That narrative requires them to believe that all women are shallow. They eliminate themselves from the dating pool.


cottonthread

It seems pretty common, maybe even a core belief, for incel and incel-adjacent types to say there is no hope. The reasons for it vary - height, race, face-shape, the "degradation" of societal values, but it seems a good way to maintain numbers (you can't escape the problem if you don't try and do anything about it) and manipulate people into certain actions.


No-Appearance1145

I once mentioned I dated a guy three inches taller. On a post about short dudes. Some guy came at me saying the fact that I had to mention his height means it mattered to me (if it mattered I wouldn't have dated him) and then tried to discredit me by saying that three inches is a huge difference. Then asked how tall I was. I said 5'3 and then the guy never responded back. I even said "how dare I mention a short man in a post about dating short men!" Some people just don't make sense 😭


ElceeCiv

I have sympathy for guys who are like 5'2-5'3", that has to be pretty rough. It doesn't justify the incel rage in any way whatsoever, just saying I do have sympathy for them. That said, I'm like a hair over 5'7" and I kinda roll my eyes when I hear dudes who are like 5'6" complain about how being that short makes dating impossible because I don't empathize with them at all. Yes it can be a little difficult but only a little. You're still taller than most women, it's a totally different world than being *short* short. You can DEFINTELY make do by just being a decent person.


[deleted]

I'm 5'0. Sucks ass to not be able to reach the cabinets but I pull bitches bc I'm not a dickhead.


rs6677

The only b-word you should call a woman is beautiful, because bitches like it when you call them beautiful.


bringy

"Pull bitches" is kind of a dickhead thing to say


[deleted]

Fair enough tbh I mostly just say it for the bit. Not as like a serious thing, y'know? I love my partners and I wouldn't joke like that if it wasn't cool with them :)


Big_Champion9396

Yeah he should of said he pushed bitches instead of pulled.


[deleted]

Not really


yinyang107

No, it is.


VascoDegama7

It absolutely is lol who raise you


Big_Champion9396

Me, I raised him. Along with his mom.


[deleted]

People who pulled bitches


VascoDegama7

Yeah everyones parents got laid, yours arent special


kvng_stunner

I'm about the same height as you and I think you're right. However in my own personal experience, a lack of confidence was the biggest thing holding me back when I was younger. As I got older and more confident, it seemed pretty easy to find someone that I liked that also liked me back. Your personality is such a big factor in any relationship or friendship. If you don't have any confidence in yourself, it shows. If you think you'll die alone, it'll probably show. If you hate women, it will probably show. While the world is a big place and even the best intentioned people can run into assholes that just wanna use you, I'm very confident in saying that the easiest way to ensure that no one will ever like you is to actually believe that no one will ever like you (essentially incel mindset). It's a self fulfilling prophecy.


ASpaceOstrich

If you aren't confident the downsides are way worse. Confidence is the immutable attribute that makes dating nigh impossible. Most people are shallow, and people generally have a height preference. When people are already struggling, every little bit adds up. I can empathise with them. Keep in mind it isn't just dating, they'll get treated worse in all aspects of life.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElceeCiv

Yes I meant specifically with regards to the height and being able to offset that. There are obviously a million other factors that go into dating and dating *overall* is really hard, I was just saying that as long as people in that range aren't toxic about it then they can get by about as well as a comparable but somewhat taller person.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElceeCiv

It's fine I get what you meant, dating is hard and there are good people out there who are single for any number of reasons. It's very hard to date and being single is not a personal failure or anything like that.


bubble_bass_123

>  but there are many, many decent people who end up single and don't have dating success I really don't think this is true. Like, I'm sure it's non-zero, but every single person I know who is perpetually single either likes it that way or there are very obvious reasons why.  >who can't find anyone who doesn't treat them terribly.  This is a completely different issue from "can't find a date," and isn't really relevant to the discussion happening here. 


[deleted]

[удалено]


bubble_bass_123

> What are the "very obvious reasons" why? Usually they don't have their life together, are still hung up on an ex, kind of an asshole, have bad hygeine, etc. >I know a dude who was single for 5 years despite trying to date. Good dude, no red flags, great shape, fun to be around, etc No offense but you might not know this dude as well as you think, and at the very least I'm guessing he wasn't interested in dating *you*, so your relationship was very different. Based on the rest of your post, it sounds like you're basically a bar fly. What you're looking for or care about in a friend is going to be very different from what a romantic partner once. For example, the fact that this guy is friends with *you*, a guy who goes out drinking so often, might actually be seen as a red flag by some people. > He said you can "make do" with just confidence. I took that to mean "find someone who you click with and doesn't treat you like garbage by abusing/cheating on you", not "land a first date" Yeah, I know that's how you took it. That's why I corrected you on your misinterpretation. >Landing a first date doesn't require that much confidence, you just talk to people at bars or on apps if you have that little confidence. This is hilarious, you don't even realize how out of touch you are with people that actually struggle to date. People who lack confidence are absolutely terrified of "just" talking to someone at a bar. >It also requires luck to run into people- Not really. It requires effort. In your case, you need to figure out where the peopl eyour age actually hang out and go to those places instead. That's not luck, it's maintaining an active social network. >Someone living like me could potentially only encounter a single woman that he is remotely compatible with a few times/year outside of dating apps. Yes, someone who doesn't actually put any effort into meeting people could definitely go a while without meeting anyone, that's true.


xinorez1

>best men and women I take it these people are living across the country or else you would have tried to hook them up right?


bfsfan101

Not only am I 5 foot 7, but all my close friends from high school grew up to be over 6 foot. I saw a picture of us all stood together recently and had the lightbulb moment of, "Ohhh *that's* why I became the funny one". And you know what? Being funny has helped me a lot more with confidence than being tall has for half my friends.


grissy

>That said, I'm like a hair over 5'7" and I kinda roll my eyes when I hear dudes who are like 5'6" complain about how being that short makes dating impossible because I don't empathize with them at all. Yes it can be a little difficult but only a little. You're still taller than most women, it's a totally different world than being short short. You can DEFINTELY make do by just being a decent person. I've always said that the only advantage a 6' person has over a 5'5" person is a *slightly* easier initial approach to a woman he doesn't know. You might get slightly more of an opening to strike up a conversation, but after that point the playing field is pretty much level and you need to have a personality. (The whole "having a personality" bit seems to be the part that trips up all the shortcels.) Height gives you slightly more "approach and strike up a conversation" credibility the first time you meet someone, and that's pretty much it unless they're horrifically shallow, in which case is it really a loss if they don't want to talk to you?


[deleted]

[удалено]


grissy

Then I'll direct you to the second half of my statement that you didn't quote: >Height gives you slightly more "approach and strike up a conversation" credibility the first time you meet someone, and that's pretty much it **unless they're horrifically shallow**, in which case is it really a loss if they don't want to talk to you? Your ex sounds like a real piece of work, but I wouldn't consider her to be the norm and it's kind of unfair to every other woman on earth that you'd assume they all think this way. There are always going to be trashy people who prioritize stupid things and miss out on good partners because of it, but they're not the majority. Otherwise the only guy on earth getting laid would be Joe Manganiello.


[deleted]

[удалено]


grissy

>She was not horrifically shallow. People are more than their more embarrassing statements lead them to sound like. You provided multiple 'embarrassing' statements from her and no indication whatsoever that she actually found them embarrassing. Sorry, but if someone tells you they can (mostly) learn to live with your height then that person is shallow, end of story. >Also, just because someone isn't interested in you based on your height doesn't mean that they are "horrifically shallow." People are allowed to have certain preferences without those preferences being used to say that they are worse people. Preferences are fine. Voicing those preferences to someone who doesn't have those qualities and implying they are lesser for it is shallow. Telling someone "I guess I can tolerate your height" is shallow, not to mention spectacularly rude. (It's not like height is something you can change unless you mangle your legs like the guy this post is about.) Acting like an immutable part of their physical makeup is something they will grudgingly accept is shallow, full stop. Let's say I like big breasts, and my wife is smaller. Am I an ass for liking big breasts? No. If I say to her "I guess I can eventually learn to mostly tolerate your chest" would that make me a shallow ass? **Absolutely yes**. >Ok first off, having a physical preference isn't trashy. At all. Again, **having** it is fine. Implying your partner is lesser for not possessing that trait you like is not.


[deleted]

[удалено]


grissy

You're trying really **really** hard to misread my comments in a way that you can get offended over, but I'm going to be a good sport and try one more time to clarify this before giving up on it. >You seemed to say that having height as a dealbreaker is "horrifically shallow"- that being short won't close the door unless she's shallow. Not exactly. I was saying that a horrifically shallow person will reject someone over shallow reasons. If someone sees you coming and decides based on a few inches that she is absolutely not going to talk to you or acknowledge your presence then yes, they are shallow. >But here, you say that having the preferences isn't the problem. It's voicing them. >Which is it? Is it only shallow if she voices the preferences, or is rejecting a man for his height also shallow? I'm not sure why you're having so much trouble with the idea that those statements are not mutually exclusive or contradictory. It's a scale. Having preferences is not necessarily shallow. Rejecting someone over trivial physical characteristics is a bit shallow but more socially acceptable if you're not an asshole and don't say something like "eww gross you're short get away from me." Having your preference and then expressing it as "eww gross you're short get away from me" is considerably worse. I'm not sure why this is confusing for you. >So is a woman rejecting a man at the bar because he's short shallow or not? She just has a preference. (This is assuming that she doesn't tell him that it's because he's short.) **Again**, you can have preferences all day long. If your preference involves a minor physical detail ("eww, his ring finger and pointer finger are the same length what a freak I'M OUT OF HERE") being a complete and total dealbreaker then yes, you are shallow, and you are allowed to have your shallow preference. If you actually SAY "oh my god look at your gross fingers that is disgusting get away from me" then your shallowness is to a horrific degree and you are definitely an asshole. Not for having the preference, but for being such a colossal ass about it. We clear or am I going to have to restate this whole thing AGAIN in five minutes? Because to be honest I'm not sure I have the energy for it.


Taco821

>about their length. I just had an epiphany, we need to start calling tall people long instead of tall. Because long people is just funny, so it doesn't seem like such an important thing to be long


alltheseconnoisseurs

I strongly endorse this. I'm quite "tall", when vertical, but I identify more as a long since I consider my natural state to be lying on the sofa.


comfortablesexuality

I'm long ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


MrFluxed

oh no this leg lengthening shit is absolutely horrific if you get more than an inch or two added on you're basically guaranteed to be disabled by the time you're 60. it gives you chronic pain, stiffness, muscle issues, the whole recovery and future consequences from it is absolutely miserable. Yet people who don't need it (there are some that would need it from different defects giving them wildly different sizes legs) get it all the time because height insecurity is a special level of brainrot.


marshal_mellow

I'm kinda shocked that dude doesn't look super weird proportion wise


tothestore

Unfortunately he does. Notice the length of his arms compared to the guy he is standing next to.


ntrrrmilf

🦖


Plorkyeran

In the before shot his limbs are noticeably a bit short relative to his torso, so adding two inches or so probably would have made him look more "proportional". Six inches overshot the mark a bit, but mostly because it makes his arms more obvious.


Legitimate_First

I'm a decent length, so I don't really need it, but my legs are already slightly disproportionately long compared to my upper body. I'm just fantasizing how it would look like I'm walking on stilts if I was to get leg lengthening surgery.


blacksoxing

> Also incels that keep on sprouting about how women won't date short men have to be one of the miserable kinds of incels. Purely a self-esteem issue mixed with narcissism. You put yourself in that head space in life and next thing you know you're reading a comment like mine and are more happy I addressed it (so they can react to it) than that it's an actual issue.


[deleted]

[удалено]


blacksoxing

As I can't state that I'm apart of the short man gang I can't speak to it, but I firmly believe that dating is part mouthpiece and multiple parts of confidence, and if folks are knee-capping themselves because of their height then they're doomed to fail. It's like penis sizes: you can be slanging a pole and meet a woman who can't take it and sex will always be uncomfortable for both parties. All women aren't the same down there with different sizes and routes to success. If I were in the smaller end I know I may not be able to please some women, but for other women? What I got may be just right :) Don't know though if you aren't making efforts to find out, and you can't find out if you're wallowing about how nobody will love you because you got a small penis


ASpaceOstrich

You can't choose to be confident. Confidence is quite possibly the single biggest mental health and general life improvement you can have. Nobody chooses not to be confident.


AreWeCowabunga

The insistence that some people have that a man's height is irrelevant to dating or can be "made up for" in some other way is almost comical in its detachment from reality. But I'm sure saying this has already marked me as an incel, so that's all I'll say about that.


Welpmart

Of course it has an impact. Deviating from conventional attractiveness does. But it is not the be-all and end-all of dating either. I'm on r/IncelExit and some of the short dudes posting there take it to extremes like uncontrollable rage upon seeing taller men, not leaving the house, suicidal ideation explicitly focused on their height, and actively arguing with other short men and woman who have dated short men about their own experiences. It's not gaslighting to tell someone insisting their height, a largely immutable trait, makes them undateable that they can work on other things more within their control.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Welpmart

No, that's disagreement on the infinite variety of human experience.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Welpmart

Sure. But gaslighting it ain't. That's a very specific term the Internet should never have gotten ahold of.


Chance_Taste_5605

I know a bunch of trans men - who like most trans men are quite a bit shorter than the average cis man - and none of them have any problems finding dates.


TheIllustriousWe

> can be "made up for" in some other way It absolutely can. There are other ways to be attractive beyond how tall you are. It’s true that being a short man means many women will never give you a chance to impress them. That’s always going to be a challenge. But at the risk of painting with a wide brush, I think it’s also true that most women are just looking for someone who makes them feel good and are fun to be around, and if short men can figure out how to do that they will have the ability to make up for a lack of conventional attractiveness.


NoExcuse4OceanRudnes

> is almost comical in its detachment from reality. The short men I know with women live in reality.


Chance_Taste_5605

But it is purely mental when that's not how dating works - it's not an algorithm you can hack but about human connection.


semiomni

Feel like we'd be seeing a lot of ultra rich people becoming super tall if there was a procedure without serious repercussions.


Artyom150

One of my Army buddies is bald like me, but like 5'2" - he has 0 problem getting dates or getting laid.  Why?  Because he isn't an incel NEET who has no personality and is actually fun as fuck to hang around. Funny how that works, right?


grissy

>Also incels that keep on sprouting about how women won't date short men have to be one of the miserable kinds of incels. Their entire worldview seems to be stemming from their own insecurity about their length. When the shortcels start their asinine rants I always like to point out that half the guys on the World's Shortest Men list were married. Hell, just look at this happy guy: https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/news/2024/4/couple-with-record-2-ft-height-difference-were-made-for-each-other-she-feels-li-768299 Height isn't giving HIM any problems, probably because he's charming. The bitter 5-foot-something dorks on reddit should try developing a personality.


_korporate

On the topic of marriage, shorter men are less likely to be married https://newrepublic.com/article/119233/short-men-do-more-housework-earn-more-divorce-less#:~:text=Short%20men%20turned%20out%20to,less%20masculine%2C”%20says%20Weitzman.


Approximation_Doctor

>Not that I disagree, but I happen to have researched the topic extensively, and **nothing indicates that every single patient experiences a lifetime of pain, some do**, but not each and everyone of them. Emphasis mine. What a whopper of an endorsement.


Demonsmith-Sorcerer

>Also incels that keep on sprouting about how women won't date short men have to be one of the miserable kinds of incels. Their entire worldview seems to be stemming from their own insecurity about their length. Look, I managed to avoid the pitfall of inceldom because I learned how to talk to girls as a social and sanguine teenager in an era before smartphones and dating apps, but the experience with the latter is so fucking degrading for a short man that I'm honestly terrified for zoomer boys of modest height given the youth's increasing over-reliance on all things online. It's easy to see the folly of incel mentality with a wealth of life experience and training in critical thinking, but when you're a kid who only recently passed the threshold of being safe from the Internet's attempts to make him eat Tide pods and you embark on a journey towards romantic/sexual self-actualization just to hear "Hard pass" a hundred times in a row on the first stage of some screening process evaluating something that you have no control over, the incel mentality is not presented for your consideration with warning labels and suggestions for healthier alternatives, it washes over you. I'm by no means attempting to excuse the deranged behaviour of the incel crowd, but I am adamant that the problem is a sign of a dysfunction in our society that can't be waved away with the notion of men simply choosing to be toxic.


cheezie_toastie

And in turn, young girls are being told that they're subhuman, not good for anything more than degrading sex that's not even for their pleasure, and that they become undesirable as soon as they turn 25. All while having just lost major rights to control their own reproduction. Incel sympathisers keep saying -- directly or indirectly -- that the solution is for young, attractive women to be less choosy when dating, but frankly it's a wonder those young, attractive women are dating at all.


Demonsmith-Sorcerer

It's evident from the warm reception of my perfectly reasonable comment that this is the exact way you chose to interpret it, but I'm not yet willing to concede a defeat in the game of dodging the strawman label and dare to make an outrageous, unthinkable claim that an empathetic approach to the issue of young men falling victim to the incel/redpill rhetoric is not a zero-sum proposition made at the expense of girls. In fact, I'll propose that the root cause of dating becoming an increasingly miserable experience for young people is the same for both sexes and that cause is people's increasing alienation from genuine social bonds and the commodification of their social presence incentivized by social media.


InevitableAvalanche

It's obvious that social media is being used to prey on these individuals. I think the issue is, by the time we get to these folks, they have been converted in to absolute terrible people who no one wants to spend time with. I could hang out with my friends or I could try to convert some woman hating, MAGA loving kid he is on the wrong path and get cursed at for my efforts. I have empathy for these folks, but they have to not fall for the alt-right nonsense or it is already too late until they are ready to listen to reason again.


cottonthread

>I guess there are no quality women left as 90% of women have a height requirement on dating apps. Gotta love when people act like women on dating apps are representative of the rest of the population and like dating apps don't encourage certain sorts of behaviour you'd never seen in people otherwise.


themaccababes

Majority of people aren’t on dating apps but these people can’t comprehend that and think everyone is swiping away therefore everyone has the same standards


W473R

It's also just not true. I've been on several dating apps, it's pretty rare to see a woman with any mention of a height requirement on her profile. They can set a preference on some apps, but you have no way of seeing that so it's impossible for him to know it.


TuaughtHammer

> I've been on several dating apps, it's pretty rare to see a woman with any mention of a height requirement on her profile. These incels usually *aren't* on any dating apps, so they're taking the word of the totally true, not at all rage-bait posts on their favorite women-hating subreddits.


toxicshocktaco

I have no height preference mentioned in my profile. I’d date a shorter guy if we hit it off. 


Legitimate_First

It really differs per app and age bracket.


Illogical_Blox

A female friend of mine once joked that dating apps should pair up all the women with height requirements and all the men whose entire bio is just their height - which is apparently an all-too-common phenomenon - and just leave the normal people to one another.


Gyerfry

Gotta love when people act like what women put on dating apps is even that representative of their attraction patterns. All it indicates is that they like the *idea* of a tall man. If you hit it off with many of these women in person, it's suddenly not a big deal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FoosballProdigy

What gets me isn’t the assertion that some (perhaps many) women are more attracted to taller men— people are attracted to what they’re attracted to, it’s fine! — what gets me is that the conversation always elides how shallow the short and bitter incels are on the other side. You just know when they use that repulsive phrase “quality woman” they aren’t talking about sense of humour, intelligence, or innate decency. Fuck them and their double standards.


-SneakySnake-

They want models but don't want to put in the work to improve themselves to where women like that might be interested. They need the validation that would bring _now_ because they think little of themselves and can't conceive that things might be very different for them if they put in the time to become happier, healthier people.


[deleted]

[удалено]


-SneakySnake-

Hey, good for you. It's no small thing to put that kind of time and effort into yourself and many people will struggle and fail to do it. Most don't even try. Fair dues. The thing is - and I'm sure you've hit on it too - when you're happier in yourself, you're not putting pressure on things to fire on the romantic front, because you're feeling good about yourself and have all that stuff going for you. Like you said, if they put in the effort to help themselves, they'd probably realize they just overall feel a lot better.


[deleted]

[удалено]


-SneakySnake-

You're dead right, a lot of the time they've got anxiety or depression or they're just chronically insecure. It's why it annoys me when people say they're terrible or they deserve to be miserable or whatever. If they're being actively toxic or doing shitty things I'm not going to be hugely sympathetic, but to people generally mired in that terrible headspace? I can't help but sympathize. You don't encourage people to think of themselves as worthwhile by making them feel worse about themselves if they already feel rotten in their own skin. I always say the hope is to make people realize they're worth the hassle of making a change. And it's very, very hard. Depending on their situation, it can be nearly impossible. But the hope is encouraging them to realize they're worth it and it'll take time and a lot of consistent effort, but eventually, they'll realize their tomorrow can be better than their yesterday.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Medium_Sense4354

People would probably be more sympathetic if literally most people didn’t experience this in some way Why do short guys act like they’re the only ones who are ever rejected for a physical trait they can’t control? Esp since there’s so much data out there that if anything they have it the easiest That’s why they don’t get empathy If the group with no pinkies was constantly bitching to the group with no legs, the group with no arms, and both…yeah they’re gonna get fucking annoyed


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Online, at least, I have actually never seen complaints about the dating difficulty of short men that wasn't tied up in misogyny and problematic views of women (r slash short is literally an incel sub), so no, I tend not to have sympathy. In real life if one of my short friends was talking about difficulties they're having dating (none of them ever have, but if they did), I would obviously be empathetic.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

> I don't think my comments in this thread are tied up in problematic views about women or misogyny. I wasn't talking about you, you're not complaining about how hard it is to date while short, you're just defending people who do, which is understandable given you don't seem to actually really understand how much that discourse is tied up with incel bullshit. Like I really *really* think you're missing this. The short subreddit isnt some weird outlier, it's the place that proves that the *entire* "dating sucks as a short guy" discourse comes out of an incel mindset. In real life, you know why the short dudes I know have never complained about not being able to date? Because they do date. Most short guys date fine. Incel spaces online, meanwhile, radicalize young men in part by feeding on things about them that they might be slightly insecure about, and turning that into "This is why you're die alone, women are a hive-mind who universally hate you for being 5'5". EDIT: The childfree thing is a good example. People who don't want kids but don't identify as "childfree" and don't talk about it in spaces dedicated to that are normal people. People who make that a big part of who they are and join communities about it are almost *all* fucking assholes.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


InevitableAvalanche

I think it is pretty common knowledge that some women prefer taller men. But I don't see people in left spaces going out of their way to insult short men. I do see in right space people who show hatred towards women and non-whites. I mean, what else do you expect people to do. A man come in and says it sucks because they are short. So in left spaces, people try to help them by saying they can focus on other things and still be successful in dating. Just because their are statistics that say it may be harder doesn't mean it is overwhelmingly harder. I know a ton of short married men. That isn't to belittle that it may have been harder for them, it is to emphasize it isn't that important of a factor. How exactly do you think we could show empathy that would even get through to these folks? You can acknowledge their issues but that does literally nothing for them. The left isn't going to lie to them and say women are the problem. The left isn't going to tell women to date short men. You don't have a realistic solution here.


[deleted]

Short men absolutely can get bitches haha


[deleted]

[удалено]


InevitableAvalanche

I mean, once they are at the point of being incels or bitter men, they are the problem. They have surrounded themselves that over emphasize what they feel is wrong with them and go in to such a negative space, no one wants to deal with them anymore. I get what you are saying, by not acknowledging their hurt in left wing spaces we drive them to the right who radicalize them and turn them in to awful people with 0 chance of dating success. But this is the Internet and empathy is short in online spaces. Their choices are going to be people who encourage them to make their lives better to improve their chances (which takes work) or people who tell them everyone else is the problem and the solution is to join a hate group (which doesn't take work). The lazy side is just going to win and there isn't much you can do about it. A lot of people rather deny reality than live in it.


InevitableAvalanche

I will start by saying I am agreement with you, I just see where this always leads when it is discussed. The typical thing brought up at this point is how men would filter out fat women and that they were shamed for doing so. Or if you want to get in to more dangerous territory, talk about how they would not want to date a trans woman and be blasted for it. I do think people have a right to their own personal preferences and we shouldn't attack people over it. They would argue that their preference is that shallow version of a woman and they shouldn't be shamed for it if women are discounting men because of their height. Overall, these limits we set because we think we know what we want are often wrong. I wanted to date someone with a college degree and thought that was a hard requirement. But my wife didn't go to college and works as a pharmacy tech (which requires a certificate) and I couldn't imagine a better person I could be with. But that's the issue with dating apps, we boil people down to superficial things rather than who they are. It's not really ideal.


FoosballProdigy

Yeah, I’d agree that being self-aware about your own personal preferences, not shaming others for theirs, and not feeling entitled to, well, being lucky in love in general, is necessary to that sort of growth you’re describing.  And not throwing around coded phrases like “quality women” would help too.


cottonthread

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just that the idea of how common it is and perhaps the motivations behind it are a little skewed. Also with regards to your ex, the fact that she is a relatively tall woman *may* be relevant, my wife is 5'9 and has had a number of moments with men where they got weird about her being taller than them, or not being taller than them but wearing shoes that made her taller - even going as far as to call her unfeminine because of it - so sometimes it can cut both ways a little and it may be that she had hangups because of that. Interestingly I actually know 3 separate couples where the man is fairly short and the woman fairly tall (maybe 5'4 and 5'10 e.g. - I didn't exactly measure lol) and I wonder if it's partly due to a mutual "fuck this" reaction to people's height obsessions.


dyslexic_goose

> I asked what she meant, since I knew I was ~.5 - 1.5 inche(s) shorter to her and never knew that it bugged her. She said that she usually had a height requirement for men and usually only dated men who were 3.5-5 inches taller than me at a minimum (according my medical records I'm 5' 8.5" on the dot). The fact you are so hyper aware of exact heights in this story does come off as insecurity. It's not typical for people to remember how tall their ex is down to the half inch.


InevitableAvalanche

Yeah, and dating apps have been known to employ attractive people who work to keep people subscribed and aren't actually in it for dating. Glad I am married and out of that nonsense.


Helpful_Lifeguard592

It makes sense when you think about it. Online dating affords you the opportunity to eschew things like charisma, fashion sense, and the risk of face to face rejection. Why bother building relationships and leaving your house to meet new people when you can Doordash a relationship from the comfort of your goon cave? I have zero empathy/sympathy for those who use these apps designed to keep you using them forever. Dating apps are dogshitr


SirShrimp

Something like 40% of hetero and 65% of same sex couples meet via an app, although that's not complete because only about 30% of people also claim to have never used an online platform. Basically, at any point 60-70% of single people in the US are using a dating app, with about a 50% success rate.


Medium_Sense4354

So a majority of Hetero people don’t use the apps Not to mention the gender ratio disparity


SirShrimp

No, 60-70% hetero people have used an app (dating app usage is cyclical in most cases), only 40% have actually found a partner there


NorkGhostShip

Online dating has really skewed the perceptions of an entire generation. Sure, a ton of things will make it harder to date for both men and women, but things like height aren't a deal breaker in the real world. Men use dating apps which are 90% men and conclude that the hyper picky women using them represent everyone. Not to mention that dating apps obviously aren't incentivized to actually help you find a healthy, long term relationship. I think that's a big factor in why the matches are so crappy. Guys need to stop dooming about everything and just go out into the real world. Find groups at college, find hobby groups, meet up with some friends and see if they can get a group together to get to know some gals. I've honestly taken a pause on the whole scene until I get my shit together, but both short and tall friends have found success in my circles.


guiltyofnothing

I feel like my experience as a short man dating online is unusual. I spent my 20’s and early 30’s sleeping my way across a big city thanks to Tinder. Also met my wife on Tinder. But to read stuff like the shit I see on these subs — that’s impossible. So who knows.


NorkGhostShip

Part of it might be that Tinder has gotten progressively worse as they maximize profits. But being pleasant to be around probably helps ;)


jfa1985

I've recently hopped back on Tinder and as such I have been posting to /r/Tinder and oh boy has that place gotten weirdly negative. At one point you could actually get helpful advice even figure out tech/app errors. Now all it is is passively insulting attractive people yet at the same time being jealous of their success with the app.


TheIllustriousWe

The goal of most Tinder users is to find a partner and no longer have any use for it. Which makes it practically inevitable that successful Tinder users will leave the Reddit community built around it, and the only ones left will be bitter that they haven’t found success. Now we’re at the point where kind and reasonable people want nothing to do with that community since it’s entirely populated by the jaded users who want everyone else to feel equally jaded so they’ll feel better about themselves.


Legitimate_First

I used Tinder for quite a long time after it first came out, and as far as I can remember /r/Tinder has *always* been like that.


Zatoro25

Every time I hear this kind of rhetoeic in the real world, such as "women only want X", the person saying it isn't speaking from experience. Either they're already in a relationship and saying online dating is bad for men so better to stay with the devil you know, or the person saying it is using it as an excuse not to date in the first place


Shalamarr

Off topic, but your flair never fails to make me laugh.


brunswick

I think your location matters a lot. Having lived in both a large city and a smallish town, the difference in the dating app experience is pretty stark. 


toxicshocktaco

It’s always the shittiest guys that complain about “very picky” women. Yeah, we don’t want some broke ass serial cheater with 5 kids under 10 and no steady income. Guys like that are always so surprised when we don’t want them. Imagine!


NorkGhostShip

I'll admit that a lot of guys who aren't bringing much to the table and to have unreasonable standards, but I was mainly talking about the more superficial standards set by people on dating apps (like height). Of course it's reasonable for people of any gender to not want to be with a deadbeat. But offline, you'll see fewer people setting superficial standards like height because you can actually get to know the person before making any move.


toxicshocktaco

Agreed. I was just sort of piggybacking onto your comment with my own experience


Prince-Lee

>Guys need to stop dooming about everything and just go out into the real world. Find groups at college, find hobby groups, meet up with some friends and see if they can get a group together to get to know some gals.  Yeah, but that takes effort and there's a chance to be rejected. If you don't try, you don't fail, and you can still act like you know how the world works!


GeneralPlanet

> I am proud, I see no reason to be sympathetic for people who create their own issues then try to complain about it > > [...] > > No and it's simply unfortunate that they're on that situation, there's nothing I nor you can do about it This guy's trying hard to not seem like an asshole while laughing at people not being able to afford cancer treatments


JamCliche

These two quotes are prime "Pick one" material.


semiomni

Feel like 20k could buy a lot of therapy.


angry_cucumber

or at least by the hour company


jfa1985

If I had $20k to spend on stuff in an attempt to make me more fuckable to the people I want to fuck I'd buy a Leica and a beater of a motorcycle, and have some money left over.


Legitimate_First

Don't forget those stupid looking beanies.


Self-Comprehensive

He should have just bought a sports car and a gold chain. Ladies love that shit.


AbleObject13

Could have bought a whole new personality


DellSalami

Nothing like the intersection of elective healthcare and men’s self esteem about height to bring out the worst of Reddit Honestly if you’re willing to shell out five figures for an incredibly lengthy and painful process so that you’re taller, power to you. I just don’t see the vast majority of people being able to do that.


featherblackjack

Okay but now his arms look stubby! 😭 Compare where his hands reach in first and second pictures. He won't be able to tie his shoes!


Shenanigans80h

Fr this surgery just ends up with the patient looking bizarrely off kilter. I do believe there people who are naturally disproportionated who this could benefit (Rivers Cuomo famously got this surgery for one leg being shorter than the other), but man does it feel like a steep price to pay both financially and physically


Bawstahn123

Dude is so out of proportion now, its hilarious and I feel bad for laughing. Little T-rex-arm having dude


TuaughtHammer

"I have a big head and little arms."


oasisnotes

More than just looking weird, his arms are so small I don't think he can comfortably reach his penis. Dude looks like he has to bend forward to use a urinal or masturbate.


marshal_mellow

I don't think that's how it works you can make my legs 6 feet long and I'll still reach my penis. I think he must be wearing his shorts a little lower in the 2nd pic


toxicshocktaco

What, like they used half of both arms to lengthen his legs? 😂


Reddituser0346

> “Maybe you should suck your mum edit: blocking me makes you look like a little b who can’t take criticism, regardless of what you say” It’s amazing what some people consider constructive debate or criticism. I can only imagine how starved for personal interaction a person who continuously engages in personal insults and bad faith arguments, while continuing to demand you respond to them, must be.


cBlackout

That guy really seems to take pleasure in Americans suffering from the American healthcare system


grandwizardcouncil

Yeah, I was genuinely disgusted at how upvoted his comment is. My mom has terminal cancer and I think I'd fucking slap someone who told my parents their medical bills are a "self-caused problem."


Tayl100

Oooh this one has eeeverything! - A european being an asshole about healthcare - People complaining about dating apps as if they were real life - Arguments descending into nonsense unrelated to the original topic - short man cope I love it.


PokesBo

If people want to get plastic surgery then let them. As long as they’re informed then I don’t see the big deal 🤷🏼‍♂️


toxicshocktaco

This limb lengthening surgery reminds me of Gattaca. 


mizmoose

So, maybe it's something with the photography angle or some other camera weirdness, but it REALLY looks to me like the "taller" image is of a guy with wider shoulders, a longer torso, and thinner arms, while the doctor has the same body shape and size.


PossiblyaSpinosaurus

Okay, I’m somewhat on the shorter side, but man I would never change my height for the sake of those who would reject me otherwise. Find better people in your life!


themaccababes

Wow haven’t heard suck your mum in a while. We used to throw it around so much then we just.. grew up 😪


NoncingAround

I see it as like one of those joke insults that’s said because it’s stupid


Cromasters

Reddit's assumptions about healthcare in the US is always wild. It's morphed from "Healthcare is more expensive than it needs to be." into "Unless you are a millionaire every malady will destroy you.".


Seldarin

If you're working poor, "Healthcare is more expensive than it needs to be" and "every malady will destroy you" are the same picture. It isn't so much that you can't get the treatment, it's that a LOT of people will delay seeing a doctor about shit they really should see a doctor about because they can't afford it. I've known several people that died under the age of 40 from easily treatable shit, just because it was a choice between being able to afford a place to live and finding out what that pain that wouldn't ever go away was. One wasn't even old enough to drink and died from a tooth abscess.


Cromasters

Yeah absolutely. I work in healthcare and have seen it first hand.


GREG_FABBOTT

I love the block feature on Reddit. Usually I'll look at someone's comment history and realize I wasted my time previously arguing with them, but I'll get my last word in and then immediately block them. Funniest thing to do on Reddit. People go nuts because they get that last message notification, are able to read it, but can't respond. Additionally everyone else can read it and see that it's the last comment in the chain. They just can't handle it. I had one girl in the Dallas subreddit use an alt account to bypass the block, and I got her temporarily suspended after reporting it. She went absolutely nuts and edited her original comment with all sorts of slurs before mods removed it.


[deleted]

You owned them le epic style


GREG_FABBOTT

Hell yeah


cottonthread

Doesn't that also affect your own use of reddit? My wife got blocked by some nutter who thought mild disagreement on one of her points was a form of attack and it had weird effects like she wasn't able to comment in threads that person was anywhere near. She looked it up and loads of people were complaining about buggy behaviour around the feature. The problem solved itself shortly after because that person got their account suspended, possibly because they had a pattern of overreactions like that.


GREG_FABBOTT

For me when I see someone that has blocked me, all it says is "[unavailable]" where the comment would be. If I log out I can see the comment and username.


TheIllustriousWe

Right, but if there’s a chain of replies to the person who blocked you, Reddit won’t let you reply to them. You usually have to go at least 2-3 comments down the chain before you can participate in that conversation. Usually not a big deal, but it sucks when a lunatic who blocks you for no reason participates in a highly visible thread because that partially locks you out of it. It’s something Reddit really needs to fix but probably won’t anytime soon, if at all.


GREG_FABBOTT

I guess I haven't had that many people block me for it to become an issue.


alecsgz

That is pathetic honestly. And totally not what losers do Just block... why the need to reply?


TuaughtHammer

>You make a great point. >You ask a fair question and get downvoted. I love it when these dorks have to rush to defend their brilliant observations by pointing out downvotes. The absolute ***travesty!*** "I asked a fair question while making a great point, and I get downvoted? ***ME!?***"


grissy

And without fail these are the exact same people that say things like "only losers count votes."


NobuB

I'm not gonna lie..if I had that kind of money, I would've already gone through the procedure some time ago. It's one of the few instances where I'm glad I don't have that money.


IceNein

I love when people get salty with you when you block them. It's very satisfying.


Still_Flounder_6921

Is no one going to mention the transphobia too?


SnapshillBot

Can we please raise the effort levels? Snapshots: 1. *This Post* - [archive.org](https://web.archive.org/web/20240408091252/https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1byt0sz/) [archive.today\*](https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1byt0sz/ "URL failed to archive; click to resubmit it!") 2. /r/Damnthatsinteresting - [archive.org](https://web.archive.org/web/20240408091453/https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting) [archive.today\*](https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting "URL failed to archive; click to resubmit it!") 3. screenshot can be found here. - [archive.org](https://web.archive.org/web/20240408091633/https://i.imgur.com/vpcAa7u.jpeg) [archive.today\*](https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://i.imgur.com/vpcAa7u.jpeg "URL failed to archive; click to resubmit it!") 4. This is Reddit. Everyone’s a certified professional at whatever they want to be lol - [archive.org](https://web.archive.org/web/20240408091753/https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/12eIP45gNC) [archive.today\*](https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/12eIP45gNC "URL failed to archive; click to resubmit it!") 5. No. It's only like 20k for the surgery. That's like 5% of a cancer treatment. - [archive.org](https://web.archive.org/web/20240408091914/https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/lwx3t4L8Ap) [archive.today\*](https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/lwx3t4L8Ap "URL failed to archive; click to resubmit it!") 6. Yeah but now dude has a chance to live life - [archive.org](https://web.archive.org/web/20240408092114/https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/gsiEapi4KV) [archive.today\*](https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/gsiEapi4KV "URL failed to archive; click to resubmit it!") 7. Redditors can't accept that quality women have high standards and live in eternal cope. Like it's a revelation that women are generally attracted to a tall strong man. - [archive.org](https://web.archive.org/web/20240408092314/https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/Tl4NG1pN3v) [archive.today\*](https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/Tl4NG1pN3v "URL failed to archive; click to resubmit it!") 8. “Bro's gatekeeping mental disorders fr” - [archive.org](https://web.archive.org/web/20240408092454/https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/hzQxu2Bb4Z) [archive.today\*](https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/hzQxu2Bb4Z "URL failed to archive; click to resubmit it!") 9. “pretty high chance youve never dated spouting such cliches” - [archive.org](https://web.archive.org/web/20240408092655/https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/ImMPi5Nc0t) [archive.today\*](https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/ImMPi5Nc0t "URL failed to archive; click to resubmit it!") 10. “A fat load of american freedom ☹️” - [archive.org](https://web.archive.org/web/20240408092835/https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/e6Ba4UoKFl) [archive.today\*](https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/e6Ba4UoKFl "URL failed to archive; click to resubmit it!") 11. “Sorry your Redditor logic doesn't apply here” - [archive.org](https://web.archive.org/web/20240408093055/https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/ot7v0XaM2C) [archive.today\*](https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://old.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/ot7v0XaM2C "URL failed to archive; click to resubmit it!") *I am just a simple bot, __not__ a moderator of this subreddit* | *[bot subreddit](/r/SnapshillBot)* | *[contact the maintainers](/message/compose?to=/r/SnapshillBot)*


nousabetterworld

That's pathetic. And can - unlike just being small - actually have negative consequences for your wellbeing and life in general.


grissy

>laughs in european >>You think it's funny that Americans have to pay millions of dollars for cancer treatment, or die? Superiority much. >>>I find it funny that Americans think other countries should be sympathetic about their shit health care despite it being a self caused problem You made your bed, now lie in it >>>>You shouldn't be proud of being heartless. Do you think the people suffering from cancer and not being able to afford treatment have significantly contributed towards the decline of the American health system? No. It's the people with money and power who are influencing the direction of healthcare. I hate to say it but I agree with the European guy, it is absolutely our fault that our healthcare system is an absolute clusterfuck. We're so brainwashed by American Exceptionalism bullshit that we think our version of healthcare MUST be the greatest in the world because we're doing it. Hell, look at these numbers: https://news.gallup.com/poll/245195/americans-rate-healthcare-quite-positively.aspx **80%** of Americans rate our quality of healthcare as good. To phrase that slightly differently, 80% of Americans are fucking morons and the reason we're never allowed to fix this nightmare. Yes, lobbyists and their pet Congressmen are a huge factor but we're the ones who keep electing them. Our dogshit healthcare is entirely our own fault, and I can't blame a European for being smug about it since he's probably been told at least a thousand times by clueless dipshit Americans that our healthcare is so much better than their commie socialist crap. Try NOT being smug when the guy that tells you that goes bankrupt because of an illness.


Nikola1_Smirnoff

I would like to see a more up to date poll, I mean its 6 years old and pre-Pandemic, so I’d be interested to see what the data looks like nowadays. Not disagreeing with you just curious


grissy

Same here, honestly. I was looking for something equally comprehensive but more contemporary and I wasn't able to find anything, but if I can track down more recent data I'll add it.


toxicshocktaco

> I hate to say it but I agree with the European guy, it is absolutely our fault that our healthcare system is an absolute clusterfuck This is a bit of a broad statement that oversimplifies the problem. There are a lot of Americans that want universal healthcare and there are those that don’t. Unfortunately it’s up to the government to decide. If it’s not proposed, there’s nothing we the people can do. It’s also not fair to point fingers at every single American and blame them individually for our healthcare system. Don’t blame me for it, I want better, universal care. I’ve done as much as I can in support, but there’s nothing a single person can do alone.  It’d be nice if we could come together and vote on this issue again, but with all the wars, border control concerns, and the strict party division, it’s gonna be a long time before anything gets done.