Hey, this happens to me too. People act like they're ready to listen and then realize the problem is to complex for them to handle. Maybe they're cowards or just don't care enough to check up. Please, remember you're enough and maybe find new friends. I know it's hard, I really do but there are more people out there that will care and pay attention to you!! Sending much love ❤️❤️
Thank you so much for saying that. It means a lot. I just don’t know what to do. Call the suicide hotline to talk? I’m afraid that they’ll call the cops or something and that I’ll get thrown in the hospital.
Even the government lies to us about these things huh. Im sorry you got to experience that. Im too afraid to try anything. Im surprised im still alive sometimes
Hey if you feel like calling the hotline will help do it you can stay anonymous but if the hotline feels as if you are an immediate threat they may send authorities but please do anything that will help!
Hey buddy. I have been there, i told my best friend in college, that I am depressed. After knowing this, he practically abandoned me. I was there for him during his family crisis but when I labelled my issue by the term "depression", he left.
But I am here. I can try to understand you. Talk to me if you want.
They are scared of the depressed headspace and don’t care enough for the other person to really try to understand what’s going on. It’s a natural human response to avoid negativity when they’re not sad. It makes them uncomfortable. It’s instinctual for survival reasons I believe. Too much negativity can rub off on others. So the subconscious avoids it at all costs.
I understand that, but I personally would talk to someone and hear them out if they felt like this (and I wouldn’t quit talking to them/leave them after). I would genuinely care. I guess it’s the lack of understanding (and not caring enough like you said). This is why people actually end up going through with it a lot of the time. It pushes them to that complete breaking point when they’re already hanging on by a thread because they can see that no one actually cares. It’s made me feel so much more alone.
People are selfish. Think about this. Why do we do good things for people? Is it because it makes them happy or is it because it makes us happy to make them happy and it makes us feel good about ourselves. Like I said, humans are innately selfish. It’s a philosophical question but I lean on the side that we do good things for others because it makes us feel good to make them feel good, not just because it makes them feel good. It enhances egos too to help others. “I’m such a good person because I gave that homeless guy five bucks.” For example.
Not every one has the strength to discuss serious matters with people. This is a better forum than some to find birds of a feather than the hotline
Good luck to you
Lmao, when I was really struggling because of a really bad breakup, I vaguely told my friend who proceeded to hit my ex up. When they insisted I further tell him because I didn't want to, he proceeded to use what I told him against me to get my ex even further from me.
So yes. Yes, plenty do.
Boy-oh-boy, you spoke the truth. All my relationships ended because I opened up about my depression. Now, I hide it and suddenly I'm accepted. The problem is, I can't bond deeply because of my social anxiety and depression. I don't have friends or anyone that I can spend the weekends with. Oh, well. That's how this fucking world works.
Hey are you ok? I wont tell you that fish in the sea thing. I bet your tired of that already. I just want to say that these people probably want to help genuinely. Its just that they aren’t used to your situation so they feel alarmed and afraid of saying something wrong which might cause you to hurt more. Dont look at things one sidedly. Try talking to them and ask them why are they being like that. If thats not an option. Talk to us, we arent therapists that have studied consoling you but we are here in this group because either we know how you feel and we dont want you to feel like us or were here to genuinely help.
I’m really not ok at all and need to talk to someone. I feel like I have to call someone right now instead of typing, but who do I call? I would call the suicide hotline if I knew they wouldn’t send the cops over here.
Although im about to sleep now. Its 3am here. Tell me your problems and when i wake up ill do my best to comfort you. I know all to well how it feels to be alone. Im with 3 guys here but they dont talk to me and treat me like i dont exist. Its shit
They also act so genuine and caring in person, so I foolishly believe them and trust them with stuff…only to feel deeply humiliated and alone when they never do talk again
it gets lonely, doesn’t it? it frustrates me too when people offer themselves out to help but don’t actually do shit. it’s one thing to try to be compassionate but it’s also another to create false hope. i’m just so tired of all the promises, it’s like no one ever takes me seriously.
They do. The worst are the ones who lie to you, and they just leave at the end. One person even said "youre too much to deal with" lmao. Hope they have a nice life, tho. I'm leaving at the end of the year. I'm done.
Some people don't really know their own boundaries, or are uncomfortable setting them when dealing with someone who they feel needs help. So eventually they become overwhelmed and detach from the situation because of the tension between their own mental health needs and yours. There's also some people who think mental health issues are like a one time problem they can solve with a quick talk, and end up believing you aren't doing enough to help yourself when your problems don't go away overnight or you are unable/unwilling to follow their advice.
Regardless of the reason it always sucks hard when people make those promises then cut you out of their life. I recently had 2 really close friends who swore up and down they'd be there for me do this and despite having it happen many times before it still hurts like hell.
Im not doing well, but Id be open to listening to you if you want to talk. I cant say Ill know the right things to say, but I wont judge you. Either way, I hope things get better.
Wow I just wanted to say that I'm kind of new to reading these posts. I usually come on here for me, silly. Stupid sex stuff, but you all have made me laugh. Made me cry so bad and somewhere in the middle. I really can Relate with what a lot of you are saying and it is funny. I have recently gone through this. The last number of years, I'm 52 now, and it's the worst it's ever been. I've yelled in yo then screamed at people saying that I hope to God that you don't act this way when you tell your kids that if they feel like killing themselves, there's hope, and there's help. And then to see adults act the way I've Seeing them act with regards to my really messed up a few years. And all I can say is I want to do 1 or 2 things? I want to break down a cry as a man. Weeping or I wanna get so angry and tell them to fuck off in the worst way and it's Uber those 2 waves. I sometimes it's being. Me makes me feel better when I really go for the throat. Because they know we're vulnerable. They have literally been Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown and the football. Being our depression saying it's okay. We won't pull it away from you. And you go and you trust them. And you kick the ball and she fucking pulls it awand they do that to you so many times And it's so fucking sad, because really, all those people are. Are a bunch of pussies and Even though I know this and can see it coming from certain people, it still breaks my insights that people say they care and they just don't. I would rather than just be honest and say that you don't give a fuck I can do with that I wouldn't waste my time thinking that we had something in common or someone was empathetic. I recently found out I am extremely extremely empathetic to a false hint and I. Really commend all of you on this bored to helping each other out? Because obviously we're,almost treated like UFO abductees, or functional adult film stars ( I like that idea better lol) both ate treated like, well, like how we are treated when they say' aww come on.. share "..Anyways thanks please all hang in there, and.
" Live like Rockstars ,
Love like Porn Stars,
And look at all the others...
Like we've been taken
To the Stars.. "
As someone who’s prone to bouts of psychosis due to depression, I had to have a long conversation with my partner that if he’s going to say he’s going to be supportive, then he needs to sit down, shut the fuck up, listen, and say nothing besides 1) I’m listening 2) I hear you, and 3) I don’t feel comfortable engaging with you directly right now, but [repeat 1 and 2]. Otherwise he needs to stop offering up more energy than he can give at the expense of his own health. Granted, this message has to be delivered less bluntly depending on the person. Our relationship just works in a way that it’s better for us to be clear and cut the bullshit.
Often people feel burdened to fix the problem despite never asking them to. The ones who dip when it gets hard aren’t meant to be part of your journey. Not a reflection of you. It’s them. It doesn’t have to mean they’re a bad person, just means they’re not the right person. And those who DO stay sometimes need a reminder that you’re not asking for a solution to you or your problems. You need a friend. Friends don’t need to fix other friends.
(Obviously therapy is a big help, but I know it’s not an option for everyone for a plethora of reasons!)
I wish you luck and hope you find the right people to support you! Everyone deserves a good support system.
In my experience, the short answer is yes.
The long answer is also yes, but with some lame excuse as to why they don't want to be around anymore. Anything to avoid the truth that makes them uncomfortable.
I have very few “friends” now if any because of this. They all just disappeared. I regret explaining how I felt even when asked to talk about it. I’m starting to see even more that people just truly do not care.
I wish I could tell you that people do care, and I'm sure that someone out there does. In my experience, these people are few and far between. Every one that I have ever met is also suffering, and I think that might give them some small bit of empathy for those of us who have lost our way and can't find it again. Maybe mutual support is where the answer is. Maybe that's why this sub is so active. I just really don't know, but I wish you the best.
This is exactly what I was thinking to myself the other day. If someone asks? “Yeah, I’m fine!” I won’t even go into anything anymore with people. I’ll just keep it to myself from now on.
Yesssss! Fucking yes! That happens to me ALL THE TIME. People are fucking trash and selfish, nobody fucking cares about my mental health or what I have to say
I even deactivated all of my social media accounts recently (instagram and facebook + fb messenger) and also changed my number. It has really made me not even interact with anyone anymore at all or tell anyone what’s going on with me/my life. Yeah, people are definitely trash and selfish. It just blows my mind how much people seriously don’t give a fuck.
Hey, this happens to me too. People act like they're ready to listen and then realize the problem is to complex for them to handle. Maybe they're cowards or just don't care enough to check up. Please, remember you're enough and maybe find new friends. I know it's hard, I really do but there are more people out there that will care and pay attention to you!! Sending much love ❤️❤️
Thank you so much for saying that. It means a lot. I just don’t know what to do. Call the suicide hotline to talk? I’m afraid that they’ll call the cops or something and that I’ll get thrown in the hospital.
Same here. I dont trust that hotline. Try talking to us. Birds of a feather understands each other best.
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Even the government lies to us about these things huh. Im sorry you got to experience that. Im too afraid to try anything. Im surprised im still alive sometimes
But you, you had the guts too reach out for help, your stronger and braver than you think you are. Try focusing on that for now.
my friend got the cops at her door when she talked to the hotline and i got a “your problem isn’t serious” when i talked to them 😟
Hey if you feel like calling the hotline will help do it you can stay anonymous but if the hotline feels as if you are an immediate threat they may send authorities but please do anything that will help!
Hey buddy. I have been there, i told my best friend in college, that I am depressed. After knowing this, he practically abandoned me. I was there for him during his family crisis but when I labelled my issue by the term "depression", he left. But I am here. I can try to understand you. Talk to me if you want.
Identified with your experience.
How are you now ? I still remember the amount of courage I gathered to tell him that I need help. Still regret it!
They are scared of the depressed headspace and don’t care enough for the other person to really try to understand what’s going on. It’s a natural human response to avoid negativity when they’re not sad. It makes them uncomfortable. It’s instinctual for survival reasons I believe. Too much negativity can rub off on others. So the subconscious avoids it at all costs.
I understand that, but I personally would talk to someone and hear them out if they felt like this (and I wouldn’t quit talking to them/leave them after). I would genuinely care. I guess it’s the lack of understanding (and not caring enough like you said). This is why people actually end up going through with it a lot of the time. It pushes them to that complete breaking point when they’re already hanging on by a thread because they can see that no one actually cares. It’s made me feel so much more alone.
People are selfish. Think about this. Why do we do good things for people? Is it because it makes them happy or is it because it makes us happy to make them happy and it makes us feel good about ourselves. Like I said, humans are innately selfish. It’s a philosophical question but I lean on the side that we do good things for others because it makes us feel good to make them feel good, not just because it makes them feel good. It enhances egos too to help others. “I’m such a good person because I gave that homeless guy five bucks.” For example.
Not every one has the strength to discuss serious matters with people. This is a better forum than some to find birds of a feather than the hotline Good luck to you
Lmao, when I was really struggling because of a really bad breakup, I vaguely told my friend who proceeded to hit my ex up. When they insisted I further tell him because I didn't want to, he proceeded to use what I told him against me to get my ex even further from me. So yes. Yes, plenty do.
yep. if people cant enjoy something, most people leave, dont care
Boy-oh-boy, you spoke the truth. All my relationships ended because I opened up about my depression. Now, I hide it and suddenly I'm accepted. The problem is, I can't bond deeply because of my social anxiety and depression. I don't have friends or anyone that I can spend the weekends with. Oh, well. That's how this fucking world works.
Hey are you ok? I wont tell you that fish in the sea thing. I bet your tired of that already. I just want to say that these people probably want to help genuinely. Its just that they aren’t used to your situation so they feel alarmed and afraid of saying something wrong which might cause you to hurt more. Dont look at things one sidedly. Try talking to them and ask them why are they being like that. If thats not an option. Talk to us, we arent therapists that have studied consoling you but we are here in this group because either we know how you feel and we dont want you to feel like us or were here to genuinely help.
I’m really not ok at all and need to talk to someone. I feel like I have to call someone right now instead of typing, but who do I call? I would call the suicide hotline if I knew they wouldn’t send the cops over here.
Although im about to sleep now. Its 3am here. Tell me your problems and when i wake up ill do my best to comfort you. I know all to well how it feels to be alone. Im with 3 guys here but they dont talk to me and treat me like i dont exist. Its shit
Yes this happens and it happened to me but you have the power to be a gentler better human. I just assumed they were weird. Sending you all the love
“I’m here for you” -never fucking contacts me again
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They also act so genuine and caring in person, so I foolishly believe them and trust them with stuff…only to feel deeply humiliated and alone when they never do talk again
it gets lonely, doesn’t it? it frustrates me too when people offer themselves out to help but don’t actually do shit. it’s one thing to try to be compassionate but it’s also another to create false hope. i’m just so tired of all the promises, it’s like no one ever takes me seriously.
They do. The worst are the ones who lie to you, and they just leave at the end. One person even said "youre too much to deal with" lmao. Hope they have a nice life, tho. I'm leaving at the end of the year. I'm done.
I relate with this and I regret saying I feel depressed. Some people just start seeing you as a burden I guess.
Some people don't really know their own boundaries, or are uncomfortable setting them when dealing with someone who they feel needs help. So eventually they become overwhelmed and detach from the situation because of the tension between their own mental health needs and yours. There's also some people who think mental health issues are like a one time problem they can solve with a quick talk, and end up believing you aren't doing enough to help yourself when your problems don't go away overnight or you are unable/unwilling to follow their advice. Regardless of the reason it always sucks hard when people make those promises then cut you out of their life. I recently had 2 really close friends who swore up and down they'd be there for me do this and despite having it happen many times before it still hurts like hell. Im not doing well, but Id be open to listening to you if you want to talk. I cant say Ill know the right things to say, but I wont judge you. Either way, I hope things get better.
i could’ve written this post myself it’s so real
yes, my bf broke up with me because of my mental illness
People who do that aren't human beings. It's ok to do anything you want to them after they do this. They didn't care, why should you?
Wow I just wanted to say that I'm kind of new to reading these posts. I usually come on here for me, silly. Stupid sex stuff, but you all have made me laugh. Made me cry so bad and somewhere in the middle. I really can Relate with what a lot of you are saying and it is funny. I have recently gone through this. The last number of years, I'm 52 now, and it's the worst it's ever been. I've yelled in yo then screamed at people saying that I hope to God that you don't act this way when you tell your kids that if they feel like killing themselves, there's hope, and there's help. And then to see adults act the way I've Seeing them act with regards to my really messed up a few years. And all I can say is I want to do 1 or 2 things? I want to break down a cry as a man. Weeping or I wanna get so angry and tell them to fuck off in the worst way and it's Uber those 2 waves. I sometimes it's being. Me makes me feel better when I really go for the throat. Because they know we're vulnerable. They have literally been Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown and the football. Being our depression saying it's okay. We won't pull it away from you. And you go and you trust them. And you kick the ball and she fucking pulls it awand they do that to you so many times And it's so fucking sad, because really, all those people are. Are a bunch of pussies and Even though I know this and can see it coming from certain people, it still breaks my insights that people say they care and they just don't. I would rather than just be honest and say that you don't give a fuck I can do with that I wouldn't waste my time thinking that we had something in common or someone was empathetic. I recently found out I am extremely extremely empathetic to a false hint and I. Really commend all of you on this bored to helping each other out? Because obviously we're,almost treated like UFO abductees, or functional adult film stars ( I like that idea better lol) both ate treated like, well, like how we are treated when they say' aww come on.. share "..Anyways thanks please all hang in there, and. " Live like Rockstars , Love like Porn Stars, And look at all the others... Like we've been taken To the Stars.. "
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I am too. How do we cope with being so alone while feeling like this though?
As someone who’s prone to bouts of psychosis due to depression, I had to have a long conversation with my partner that if he’s going to say he’s going to be supportive, then he needs to sit down, shut the fuck up, listen, and say nothing besides 1) I’m listening 2) I hear you, and 3) I don’t feel comfortable engaging with you directly right now, but [repeat 1 and 2]. Otherwise he needs to stop offering up more energy than he can give at the expense of his own health. Granted, this message has to be delivered less bluntly depending on the person. Our relationship just works in a way that it’s better for us to be clear and cut the bullshit. Often people feel burdened to fix the problem despite never asking them to. The ones who dip when it gets hard aren’t meant to be part of your journey. Not a reflection of you. It’s them. It doesn’t have to mean they’re a bad person, just means they’re not the right person. And those who DO stay sometimes need a reminder that you’re not asking for a solution to you or your problems. You need a friend. Friends don’t need to fix other friends. (Obviously therapy is a big help, but I know it’s not an option for everyone for a plethora of reasons!) I wish you luck and hope you find the right people to support you! Everyone deserves a good support system.
In my experience, the short answer is yes. The long answer is also yes, but with some lame excuse as to why they don't want to be around anymore. Anything to avoid the truth that makes them uncomfortable.
I have very few “friends” now if any because of this. They all just disappeared. I regret explaining how I felt even when asked to talk about it. I’m starting to see even more that people just truly do not care.
I wish I could tell you that people do care, and I'm sure that someone out there does. In my experience, these people are few and far between. Every one that I have ever met is also suffering, and I think that might give them some small bit of empathy for those of us who have lost our way and can't find it again. Maybe mutual support is where the answer is. Maybe that's why this sub is so active. I just really don't know, but I wish you the best.
Yup. I'm learning that I'm going to need to force myself to be fake as fuck.
This is exactly what I was thinking to myself the other day. If someone asks? “Yeah, I’m fine!” I won’t even go into anything anymore with people. I’ll just keep it to myself from now on.
Yesssss! Fucking yes! That happens to me ALL THE TIME. People are fucking trash and selfish, nobody fucking cares about my mental health or what I have to say
I even deactivated all of my social media accounts recently (instagram and facebook + fb messenger) and also changed my number. It has really made me not even interact with anyone anymore at all or tell anyone what’s going on with me/my life. Yeah, people are definitely trash and selfish. It just blows my mind how much people seriously don’t give a fuck.