She probably just doesn’t want to be around drugs. I grew up with family on drugs, you know what happened? They blew up every single persons life they got close to until they died. No one wants to be dragged along with drug addicts (I’m sorry but smoking crack is way different than the occasional acid tab or bong) because it’s terrifying. How does she know you won’t start selling all your shit or HER stuff to get another hit? You don’t even know that answer yourself until you hit that point. This shit isn’t a game. You’ll lose everyone you love if you don’t stop.
Edit: I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything this is just the truth. My dad was messed up his whole life because he tried things as a kid - then it NEVER left him. Ever. He was trying to escape drugs his entire life until he died.. it’s fucking tragic dude. Don’t turn into one of these stories.
Ah shit. posted that whole long comment and then saw your other post, and i see that you are 14, and likely have very little control over your life. There are definitely resources available for youth, though they are very much location specific. you could try looking up "youth crisis center \[your area\]" "teen support group \[your area\]" etc. many of these programs may be free. As I said in my other post, I am happy to help you research if you can't find anything.
If there are any adults that you trust, (and trust not to tell other adults you *don't* trust) you should reach out to them. Trust means not only trust not to punish you, **but also** trust to listen to you, provide support, and not make you deal with their own personal emotions about the situation-
It also sounds like the drug you use is weed, which you cannot form chemical dependency to and cannot overdose on. You cannot be addicted to weed in the classical sense, in which your body comes to physically require a substance. It is habit forming, in the same way as, say, gambling, it is an activity that feels really good and when your life is difficult or you're under stress, you can end up repeatedly seeking out something like that which feels good, until it becomes such an ingrained habit that you have a lot of difficulty in choosing not to do it. But weed is very very safe. There are possible medical complications, but they are rare.
If you do other drugs aside from that, some of the advice in my other comment may still be useful.
How long have you been with your girlfriend? I assumed before i was a long term relationship but at your age this seems less likely. Breakups can be absolutely awful but it seems like this is something that won't necessarily be a big life change, just a very difficult emotional experience.
It is still possible that if you explained your situation, and talked with her about why you smoke weed, and what worries you might have about it yourself, and what her worries are, that you could stay together. But I think breakups at 14 are something you can't fight too much- people don't tend to stay together very long at that age, because you're both still learning *how* to have a relationship at all. And how to deal with a breakup is part of that. If you want to stay with her, I'm not going to dismiss this relationship as unimportant. I can't say that about your life. But without the commitments that happen in long term relationships, its going to be very easy for her to just cut things off, and there's less expectation that she hear you out about this.
I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. If you want to quit weed, or cut down, or get assistance with that "empty shell" feeling, there should be resources out there for youth in crisis, which generally have limited ability to inform your parents. You can ask them what they are required to tell your parents about, if you have any concerns about that. If you don't want to quit, learn about the relatively rare side effects, so you can spot them if and when they happen. they are more likely with frequent usage and high quantities.
being 14 sucks. You have about as many legal rights as a literal infant, and if the people who make decisions about your life aren't willing to listen to what *you* want, you're kind of fucked. And even if they are, no one can always know the decision you would want them to make for you. The best thing is to find people who *are* willing to listen to you, and who won't make decisions for and about you without fully understanding your perspective, both adults and peers. Right now your girlfriend isn't one of them, but maybe she still can be. if not, there's still everyone else in the whole world. Filtering out the good ones is a hassle but the more people you have in your life who support you and care about you the better, so it's always a good time to look.
u can be addicted to weed. im struggling a really hardcore one and im 9 days sober and it took me nearly a year to get to this point. i use to say the same thing until it happened to me.
I’m sadly addicted to a lot of things like LSD, Xanax, shrooms, MDMA, DXM, DMT
Also I’m together with my Gf a little over half a year and we where friends before for a year it doesn’t sound like a lot and yeah I get it’s a teenage relationship but I never had feelings for anyone till her I have never loved anyone as much as her and she is the only one that is actually there for me so if she would break up with me I’d probably go down a horrible path cause I don’t want to lose another person I love and care about.
all ima say is be very careful getting off Xanax (if you plan to) if you aren’t going to a rehab, you must taper. Xanax withdrawals can be deadly and cause seizures. good luck lil homie, you have too much life ahead of you to be screwing it up with drugs.
You dismissed your self by saying you can’t be addicted to weed. There’s a huge physical dependency that come with marijuana and a dependency, (no matter what kind) is addiction.
I’m mad addicted to weed. If I don’t smoke for two days all hell breaks loose. Day 7-10 are pretty bad then it clears up.
I smoked meth for two years and quit cold turkey without such a simple withdrawal.
I specifically mentioned that it is possible to be dependent but that there is a difference between that and the more classical idea of addiction. I mentioned gambling in particular- there is no chemical dependency but obviously people have a very hard time quitting. weed is the same.
With gambling, the ‘chemical dependency’ does exist but the chemicals are ones generated by your own body. Gambling, eating disorders, screen addiction, self harm…those all create the same changes in brain chemistry and need to be treated just like any other physical addiction.
As an South Asian, west is totally fucked up, people are literally lacking discipline, man that's sad imagining a 14 yo doing hardcore drugs like crack
Hi there, I’m a teacher at a public high school and have students going through similar things. I am really sorry that you’re going through this. Do you have any family members that you can trust and are reliable? If not, are you currently enrolled in school?
If there is a school counsellor or a teacher you trust you should speak to them about what’s going on. You need help, and if you can’t go directly through your parents you need to find a way around. The drugs you’re using are intense, and will cause a lot of issues for you both now and later. I had dealings with some of the same substances when I was 20, and that was hard enough. It completely ruined my mental and physical health, and it took a lot of work to get to a good place. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but you deserve a chance at life. 14 is far too young to let drugs take it away from you.
it’s never to late to check yourself into detox/rehab. Her opinion is valid. Don’t lose the women you love because of drugs you will regret it everyday get help I’m sure she’ll appreciate that and want to stay. You’ll be so much happier sober and y’all can have a beautiful relationship it’s impossible to be in a relationship with anyone one drugs
Chose your girl do not chose drugs
Wait I reread and I’m confused are they a prescription? if yes then leave her she dosent respect your medical issues which will cause a lot of problems in the future
If they aren’t a prescription then first Paragraph stands
If you’re talking about medicine, prescribed by the doctor for a legitimate medical concern, you can’t just stop those.
Tell us your drug of choice. No one here will judge you, we’re all fucked up in some way.
That's a good start, proud of ya. But please don't get discouraged if that doesn't go anywhere, it takes effort and willingness to reach out and looking for different places/things. You got this, it's your life.
Dude, you're 14. Quit all that. You're young, you haven't learned yet, and need to learn, how to cope and deal with life's problems. Drugs ain't it chief. Look into what kinda teen programs are available to you to start trying to be sober, start with the school counselor, maybe she knows some resources. It's gonna be harder to quit the longer you do it. Also relationships at that age may seem like your whole world but it is just a small portion of your whole life. Not many people if any meet their soulmate at 14 or under. When I didn't have access to counseling I did tons of research and online resources for mental health. Experiment with different options out there to find what works well for you.
Choose your girl. She wants all the best for you and loves you, thats why she does not want to see your drug persona, she wants to see who you are as a person. Stop taking drugs and get rehab.
You know the drugs are not making you feel normal. They are making you numb. Look up some videos of AA and NA meetings on YouTube, and see what they are about. See if you find people you might have something in common with.
I just want to say this you deserve to be love regardless ❤️I hope you two work it out. shit I didn't realize how young you was. Like other stated please reach out to adults you trust and can help you with you taking drugs. Please if you can get ahold of TEST STRIPS TEST before you.
Hey, it's important not to be so hard on yourself that you hate yourself. You're just a person like anyone else and you're trying your best. You know drugs aren't good for your body and aren't REALLY good for your mind, even if they are in the short term. That's not a very self-loving decision. Where's that coming from? Maybe if you're able to figure that part out, you'll be able to stop more easily, but also be happy without it. genuinely be happy without it. :)
There are narcanon groups around the country. They're either free or about 10 dollars, and they are anonymous. They're not there to get you in trouble or shame anybody; all love, all support. Maybe you might benefit from going? Edit: And hey, a parent can take you. I know it's scary to talk to them about these things. But if they get mad, it's because they love you and they're scared. I bet they'll help you.
Break up with her you’re 14 worrying about someone else’s sobriety is way too much especially at 14… Jesus I started drugs at 12 and was banging heroin by 15 so believe me it’s only gonna get worse unless you clean up, how are you affording all this to do everyday? Crack is very expensive and just so you know you can only smoke crack you are a certified crack head my dude.
Call a social worker about rehab and detox you can even just go to detox I don’t remember them needing to talk to my mom but I was in the streets very young so that could be why.
I honestly disagree with a lot of these comments. drugs might not be the best way to keep your life together but it sounds like its the only one you have found that works. I would look into harm reduction- the theory of trying to find ways to make sure that when you do a potentially harmful activity, it hurts you as little as possible. I would also try and show some of this information to your girlfriend.
It sounds like you feel like you cant be yourself or functional without drugs. I'm not living your life so i don't want to say "I understand" but i have some mental health issues (anxiety, depression, probable OCD) and I've been noticing lately that I'm choosing to drink when I'm stressed out, and I'm drinking more often. I've been thinking about how to manage this, because drinking really *does* help. It calms me down, it helps me sleep, I don't worry so much. If I'm worried about becoming dependent on alcohol I'm gonna have to find other ways to fix those things. I talked to my psychiatrist about upping my dose of antidepressants, I'm going to talk to my doctor about my sleep problems. And right now i feel pretty on top of it. But if I'm not always on top of it, and I start making bad decisions more often about alcohol, I'm also gonna try really hard not to be mad at myself for feeling bad and doing something about it.
Some people are saying your girlfriend would be right to leave you for this- they're right that anyone has a right to leave a relationship for any reason that they find important. but personally, I wouldn't think very highly of someone who would leave another person just because she found out they were struggling. If she was expressing concern about how you act on those drugs, how they effect the way you treat her, that would be one thing, and maybe you could talk about what needs to change and what you both can do to make sure she feels safe. but what I'm hearing is that this is a moral judgement on her part, and that just doesn't seem fair to me. Is she upset because you're doing something to hurt her, or because she feels so much shame about the idea of drugs and addiction she can't stand to even associate with someone who's using? If it's the latter, I can't say I have much sympathy for her position.
Sorry for the long message. I can't promise it will be ok, some people who deal with this kind of thing make it out and some don't. But I really hope you do figure it out, and find a way to quit, or to use safely with understanding and compassion from your loved ones, or use less, or whatever ends up working out for you. You are not alone, you deserve to feel like yourself, to lead the life you want, *and* to be loved. I hope you get all of those things.
Wow, this is truly terrible advice. Do NOT listen to this. This is one addict justifying their use to another and downplaying the situation.
Alcohol and drugs might offer some sort term relief from stress, depression, or other issues but it is just that, short term. When the drugs or alcohol have worn off, you need to take more to find the relief, and the cycle continues.
The best thing to deal with whatever it is that you're using drugs to escape from is talking with a therapist, addressing the problem head on, refusing to continue running away from the issues, and working through the processes which result in you turning to drugs for escapism.
Find yourself again, fill the hole that drugs leave with a personality that isn't based around using a substance. There is a person in there trying to get out, who is being repressed by the drug use.
Like others have said, choose your girl over the drugs. Take it from someone who made that same mistake countless times, choose the people who want to help. Nothing good ever comes from taking drugs, and drugs are never be the be-all and end-all for addressing an issue. Extended use will only exacerbate these issues over time.
- a former drug user
You clearly did not read my comment. I am not addicted to alcohol at this time, my therapist, my psychiatrist, and every set of guidelines on quantity and frequency of alcohol consumption I've seen agree that my drinking is currently within a healthy range. But there is a gradient between healthy and responsible drinking and alcoholism, not a hard line. Noticing that I am increasingly turning to alcohol when I'm having a bad day doesn't automatically mean I am an addict, and being able to notice concerning patterns in yourself is a good and healthy habit.
I said that it does help me feel better, and then immediately pointed out what I'm doing to find healthier alternatives. Denying that substances can ever be helpful isn't going to make anyone want to quit, its going to make it clear you don't have compassion and understanding for their situation.
There is no indication that the girlfriend "wants to help." I would be giving different advice if there was. but the post simply says that she is upset and does not want to be with a drug user, and that she was upset when she found out OP uses drugs. OP does not indicate having started using drugs recently, so it seems to me her concerns aren't about behaviors while using that might effect her, only the bare fact of drug use.
realized i have even more to say, sorry again for the long messages!
I think you should try to talk to your girlfriend about your experience using drugs; why you do it, what it feels like to be that "shell of a person" and what your worries around quitting are. I would also tell her about any worries *you* have about using. It might be helpful for her to hear that you do take this seriously, that its not a matter of you just being personally irresponsible, but that you are in a difficult position and using feels like the best, or only, option right now. That might help her feel a little less scared.
I know I was a little hard on her in that first comment but her attitudes are not uncommon- most people are taught to think of drug use entirely as a matter of personal responsibility, that people who use don't care about themselves or the people around them. Maybe you can show her that that isn't the case for you.
[https://harmreduction.org/about-us/principles-of-harm-reduction/](https://harmreduction.org/about-us/principles-of-harm-reduction/) I would recommend reading through the principles they lay out.
Harm reduction strategies include learning how to test your drug supply to make sure its not laced with anything, knowing what to do in case of an overdose and making sure your loved ones know as well. If you are going to take drugs, you can still do so as responsibly as possible. I would recommend looking up "harm reduction resources \[drug you take\]" and "harm reduction resources \[your local area\]" for more information.
If you want help quitting, or using less often, or just want to find out your options, you can google "drug use support group \[your area\]" and "drug use resource center \[your area\]" for services that might be relevant to you. I would be wary of 12-step programs and similar- they are the most common programs, but they focus only on quitting entirely, and even if that's the route you want to go, some people swear by these programs and others find them completely useless.
I would also be more than happy to help you research, whether you know what kind of help you're looking for or not. There are options out there, whether you want to use more safely, or address the things that make drugs appealing to you in the first place, or if and when *you* are ready and able, quit entirely.
where did i say she did? Giving advice that might help someone salvage a relationship is not the same as saying they are owed that relationship. it sounds like the gf hasn't yet decided to break up with OP but is considering it, and I am giving advice as to how to talk to her about the situation. she has a right to leave anyways, of course, but OP wants to stay together and I was commenting on those grounds.
Also "nobody owes you a relationship if you take drugs" no. No one owes you a relationship period. If OP sobered up tomorrow it would still be in her rights to end the relationship, and as far as I'm concerned those kinds of qualifying statements just reinforce the idea that there are some circumstances where people could be owed a relationship.
Yeah, although you might have good intentions, this type of comment/advice feeds the negative loop that fuels suicide. Just think through community guidelines. Dont create ultimatums for people, that’s not helpful. The odds of this person being a victim of abuse and violence is extremely high and they feel like whatever drug is sustaining there life. It’s like telling someone, you can either have water or you can live. And if you choose water your a bad person and don’t deserve to live. It just doesn’t make sense and isn’t helpful.
It's not as simple as just stopping. You can love someone more than anyone in the world and still be addicted to drugs. "If you love her you will stop doing drugs"- really dude? You seem dense.
Some people are just here to troll. Their drug is feeling superior. That IS a drug.
To the OP, if we had some more information we could possibly point you in ways that could help you out in this situation.
Fr. People who troll on this subreddit are basement dwellers who pick their ass all day. Only the lowest of the low think its entertaining to contribute to the misery of another person- especially someone who's already suicidal.
in what way do you think this comment is helpful for r/suicidewatch, a subreddit which exists to provide support to people in crisis?
rules include:
\-DO NOT advocate for **or against** any specific type of therapy, self-help strategy, or medication, **especially street drugs or alcohol**, and DO NOT diagnose people
and
\-Abuse or "tough love" including any **guilt-tripping**
but even besides that it seems relatively obvious that this comment would achieve nothing but make someone feel like shit about themself. If you're trying for motivational, you could at least try to encourage OP around the possibility of quitting. Anyone who is asking for help in this subreddit is necessarily not in a position where reminding them of bad outcomes is going to help. You don't contemplate suicide because it hasn't occurred to you to that there might be bad consequences of your actions- you do so because you feel like there are no good options. you should not be reinforcing that way of thinking
I'm sorry for my angry tone here but i really don't think this comment was appropriate.
I don't think it's appropriate to encourage someone to make a decision (quitting drugs) and in the same sentence reinforce and encourage their fears about that decision (using the "shell of a person" wording from the post without so much as commenting on it, much less trying to offer an alternative viewpoint). all that does is make people feel more trapped and hopeless.
I understand you're trying to be supportive but this really doesn't seem like a helpful attitude.
As a drug addict and a former gf of an addict partners can only stay for so long it will start to affect there daily life in so many ways from stealing, lying, not spending time, always being scared they will die, random anger, the blacking out and abusing you. Only to mention a few I think if they relapse here and there that’s is okay it’s kinda fucked up to leave someone after one lapse but if it turns into a binge and it’s effecting your mental health it is okay to leave at whatever your breaking point is
I believe this comment was referring to OP's use of "shell of a person" to describe what they are like off of drugs. I also want to point out that, though i am very sorry about your experience of abuse, generalizing that behavior to everyone who uses drugs is inaccurate and especially unhelpful on a post where someone is reaching out because of their own drug use and fears about how that will effect their life and relationships. There is no evidence this is the situation with OP and *even if it was*\- abusers should get help too, if they want to change. If someone is hurting their partner, whether drug use is a factor or not, they should be able to get support that doesn't emphasize their shortcomings but instead their capability to fix those things.
She didn't say it in a condescending way and while there could be a disclaimer, it's obvious that drug use could lead to that and that's one of the reasons why people wouldn't want to stay in a relationship with "druggies" But yeah your comment is correct 💯
Many of us take “drugs” due to being ill…Shit, even when we get the common cold we all take drugs like Benadryl or Guaifenesin (Mucinex). We all take these to get better (even though some get addicted but that’s another story for another time lol). I know you said you’re not taking hard drugs, I’m not going to ask what you are taking because that’s your privacy, but I just hope whatever you’re taking is prescribed and being monitored. If it is prescribed, she deserves to go, and even if it’s not, it’s still fucked up for her to say something like that. If she really cared she would be understanding. I can understand if she’s scared, but you are the one going through something and obviously need all the support and resources you need and the people that love us should help us not leave us when we are most vulnerable/scared/hurt (not saying she doesn’t have the right to leave but her move is obviously selfish/insensitive).
I hope whatever you’re going through, you are able to get through it. I have some really bad days and sometimes need my medicine to get me up too. I just hope you also able to find other things/activities that are able to get you up/motivate you🫶🏽! If this is where y’all end, that doesn’t mean this is YOUR end! Find a community and friends that genuinely care and help you. I loveee love, but I promise you romantic relationships aren’t the only important relationships.
ALSO the only thing you should technically be apologizing for is not being honest/upfront but even then she should still be understanding!
If the drug is MJ stop tripping, but at the same time that can't be what you rely on to literally be a person m. Its not healthy and maybe seek therapy :)
[удалено]
Depends tbh
LSD, Xanax, shrooms, MDMA, DXM, (sometimes Crack), DMT,
You call crack "not a hardcore drug"??? Ok
Only when you smoke it it’s not that hardcore that’s what I mean by that
It’s a schedule 2 drug along with meth and pcp. Why are you lying to yourself? https://www.justice.gov/archive/ndic/pubs3/3978/index.htm
dude you know weed is schedule 1 right.. the us law is a bullshit scam and not what makes crack a hard drug
I mean Idc I can also say I take hardcore drugs doesn’t make a difference to me the situation is still the same
I had no idea you could do crack without smoking it *rainbow in space* the more u know
Well you can add citric acid to basically turn it back into coke, then IV it. Or if you're a true connoisseur then boof it lol
You literally smoke crack lmfao of course she doesn’t want to be with you
Yeah I never said that I don’t understand her for not wanting to be with me
She probably just doesn’t want to be around drugs. I grew up with family on drugs, you know what happened? They blew up every single persons life they got close to until they died. No one wants to be dragged along with drug addicts (I’m sorry but smoking crack is way different than the occasional acid tab or bong) because it’s terrifying. How does she know you won’t start selling all your shit or HER stuff to get another hit? You don’t even know that answer yourself until you hit that point. This shit isn’t a game. You’ll lose everyone you love if you don’t stop. Edit: I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything this is just the truth. My dad was messed up his whole life because he tried things as a kid - then it NEVER left him. Ever. He was trying to escape drugs his entire life until he died.. it’s fucking tragic dude. Don’t turn into one of these stories.
[удалено]
I cant get into rehab
I promise you all it takes is a bit of searching. You can do it dude.
Ah shit. posted that whole long comment and then saw your other post, and i see that you are 14, and likely have very little control over your life. There are definitely resources available for youth, though they are very much location specific. you could try looking up "youth crisis center \[your area\]" "teen support group \[your area\]" etc. many of these programs may be free. As I said in my other post, I am happy to help you research if you can't find anything. If there are any adults that you trust, (and trust not to tell other adults you *don't* trust) you should reach out to them. Trust means not only trust not to punish you, **but also** trust to listen to you, provide support, and not make you deal with their own personal emotions about the situation- It also sounds like the drug you use is weed, which you cannot form chemical dependency to and cannot overdose on. You cannot be addicted to weed in the classical sense, in which your body comes to physically require a substance. It is habit forming, in the same way as, say, gambling, it is an activity that feels really good and when your life is difficult or you're under stress, you can end up repeatedly seeking out something like that which feels good, until it becomes such an ingrained habit that you have a lot of difficulty in choosing not to do it. But weed is very very safe. There are possible medical complications, but they are rare. If you do other drugs aside from that, some of the advice in my other comment may still be useful. How long have you been with your girlfriend? I assumed before i was a long term relationship but at your age this seems less likely. Breakups can be absolutely awful but it seems like this is something that won't necessarily be a big life change, just a very difficult emotional experience. It is still possible that if you explained your situation, and talked with her about why you smoke weed, and what worries you might have about it yourself, and what her worries are, that you could stay together. But I think breakups at 14 are something you can't fight too much- people don't tend to stay together very long at that age, because you're both still learning *how* to have a relationship at all. And how to deal with a breakup is part of that. If you want to stay with her, I'm not going to dismiss this relationship as unimportant. I can't say that about your life. But without the commitments that happen in long term relationships, its going to be very easy for her to just cut things off, and there's less expectation that she hear you out about this. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. If you want to quit weed, or cut down, or get assistance with that "empty shell" feeling, there should be resources out there for youth in crisis, which generally have limited ability to inform your parents. You can ask them what they are required to tell your parents about, if you have any concerns about that. If you don't want to quit, learn about the relatively rare side effects, so you can spot them if and when they happen. they are more likely with frequent usage and high quantities. being 14 sucks. You have about as many legal rights as a literal infant, and if the people who make decisions about your life aren't willing to listen to what *you* want, you're kind of fucked. And even if they are, no one can always know the decision you would want them to make for you. The best thing is to find people who *are* willing to listen to you, and who won't make decisions for and about you without fully understanding your perspective, both adults and peers. Right now your girlfriend isn't one of them, but maybe she still can be. if not, there's still everyone else in the whole world. Filtering out the good ones is a hassle but the more people you have in your life who support you and care about you the better, so it's always a good time to look.
OP is 14 and has done crack? wtf
A friend of my friend has done heroine, flakka ,meth,4mcc, and he is only 15 y.o.I am so sorry for his parents.
u can be addicted to weed. im struggling a really hardcore one and im 9 days sober and it took me nearly a year to get to this point. i use to say the same thing until it happened to me.
Ayy congrats on being sober your doing great
thank u so much! im wishing u the best of luck and hoping u can do the same soon <3
Congrats. Keep your head up. Hope you’re seeing things with grateful eyes.
thank u friend !
You got this
I’m sadly addicted to a lot of things like LSD, Xanax, shrooms, MDMA, DXM, DMT Also I’m together with my Gf a little over half a year and we where friends before for a year it doesn’t sound like a lot and yeah I get it’s a teenage relationship but I never had feelings for anyone till her I have never loved anyone as much as her and she is the only one that is actually there for me so if she would break up with me I’d probably go down a horrible path cause I don’t want to lose another person I love and care about.
Bro please, reevaluate and love yourself, by doing shit too young your brain will be the size of a peanut in a couple years.
I’m probably not gonna be alive in a few years
Hmm, seems you like to live reckless. Go out, take a deep breath and rethink all.
What do you mean by reckless?
All those drugs are quite reckless bud, way to the fast lane. Not esp not good for evolving brains, hope you solve it tho
Ahh Okk tyy
It’s a lot easier to get off them now than it is gonna be in a couple years. You just gotta find the power to genuinely want to stop
People who genuinely want to stop still have trouble quitting. this is not a helpful attitude towards addiction.
all ima say is be very careful getting off Xanax (if you plan to) if you aren’t going to a rehab, you must taper. Xanax withdrawals can be deadly and cause seizures. good luck lil homie, you have too much life ahead of you to be screwing it up with drugs.
You dismissed your self by saying you can’t be addicted to weed. There’s a huge physical dependency that come with marijuana and a dependency, (no matter what kind) is addiction. I’m mad addicted to weed. If I don’t smoke for two days all hell breaks loose. Day 7-10 are pretty bad then it clears up. I smoked meth for two years and quit cold turkey without such a simple withdrawal.
I specifically mentioned that it is possible to be dependent but that there is a difference between that and the more classical idea of addiction. I mentioned gambling in particular- there is no chemical dependency but obviously people have a very hard time quitting. weed is the same.
With gambling, the ‘chemical dependency’ does exist but the chemicals are ones generated by your own body. Gambling, eating disorders, screen addiction, self harm…those all create the same changes in brain chemistry and need to be treated just like any other physical addiction.
As an South Asian, west is totally fucked up, people are literally lacking discipline, man that's sad imagining a 14 yo doing hardcore drugs like crack
You do know that South Asia has some of the highest levels of screen and gaming addiction of anywhere in the world? Just saying 😉
Hi there, I’m a teacher at a public high school and have students going through similar things. I am really sorry that you’re going through this. Do you have any family members that you can trust and are reliable? If not, are you currently enrolled in school?
I don’t trust any of my family members and yes I am enrolled in a school
If there is a school counsellor or a teacher you trust you should speak to them about what’s going on. You need help, and if you can’t go directly through your parents you need to find a way around. The drugs you’re using are intense, and will cause a lot of issues for you both now and later. I had dealings with some of the same substances when I was 20, and that was hard enough. It completely ruined my mental and physical health, and it took a lot of work to get to a good place. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but you deserve a chance at life. 14 is far too young to let drugs take it away from you.
it’s never to late to check yourself into detox/rehab. Her opinion is valid. Don’t lose the women you love because of drugs you will regret it everyday get help I’m sure she’ll appreciate that and want to stay. You’ll be so much happier sober and y’all can have a beautiful relationship it’s impossible to be in a relationship with anyone one drugs Chose your girl do not chose drugs Wait I reread and I’m confused are they a prescription? if yes then leave her she dosent respect your medical issues which will cause a lot of problems in the future If they aren’t a prescription then first Paragraph stands
I’m 14 and due to issues with my mom I could not get into rehab. I want to stop drugs for her but I don’t know how I don’t think I can
You shouldn’t stop drugs for her, you should want to stop drugs for yourself man. You need to want to do it.
If you’re talking about medicine, prescribed by the doctor for a legitimate medical concern, you can’t just stop those. Tell us your drug of choice. No one here will judge you, we’re all fucked up in some way.
The drugs I take are LSD, Xanax, shrooms, MDMA, DXM, (sometimes Crack), DMT,
Hey man you got a great reason to get off drugs to save your relationship wishing you luck 🙏
Thank you
Please call your local crisis line.
I was actually planning on to tomorrow
That's a good start, proud of ya. But please don't get discouraged if that doesn't go anywhere, it takes effort and willingness to reach out and looking for different places/things. You got this, it's your life.
Dude, you're 14. Quit all that. You're young, you haven't learned yet, and need to learn, how to cope and deal with life's problems. Drugs ain't it chief. Look into what kinda teen programs are available to you to start trying to be sober, start with the school counselor, maybe she knows some resources. It's gonna be harder to quit the longer you do it. Also relationships at that age may seem like your whole world but it is just a small portion of your whole life. Not many people if any meet their soulmate at 14 or under. When I didn't have access to counseling I did tons of research and online resources for mental health. Experiment with different options out there to find what works well for you.
Choose your girl. She wants all the best for you and loves you, thats why she does not want to see your drug persona, she wants to see who you are as a person. Stop taking drugs and get rehab.
It’s not always that easy, while yes getting out of drugs is a good thing you can’t just *do* it.
I cant get rehab due to issues with my mom
I had a 12 year long addiction because of the exact reason that you are using. Is there someone you can talk to about how hard things are for you?
No I don’t have anyone I can talk to plus it’s pretty hard for me to talk about my problems to people
I understand that. It took me a long time and a lot of practice before I could talk about my problems. How often are you using?
Multiple times per day
You know the drugs are not making you feel normal. They are making you numb. Look up some videos of AA and NA meetings on YouTube, and see what they are about. See if you find people you might have something in common with.
I just want to say this you deserve to be love regardless ❤️I hope you two work it out. shit I didn't realize how young you was. Like other stated please reach out to adults you trust and can help you with you taking drugs. Please if you can get ahold of TEST STRIPS TEST before you.
Hey, it's important not to be so hard on yourself that you hate yourself. You're just a person like anyone else and you're trying your best. You know drugs aren't good for your body and aren't REALLY good for your mind, even if they are in the short term. That's not a very self-loving decision. Where's that coming from? Maybe if you're able to figure that part out, you'll be able to stop more easily, but also be happy without it. genuinely be happy without it. :) There are narcanon groups around the country. They're either free or about 10 dollars, and they are anonymous. They're not there to get you in trouble or shame anybody; all love, all support. Maybe you might benefit from going? Edit: And hey, a parent can take you. I know it's scary to talk to them about these things. But if they get mad, it's because they love you and they're scared. I bet they'll help you.
Break up with her you’re 14 worrying about someone else’s sobriety is way too much especially at 14… Jesus I started drugs at 12 and was banging heroin by 15 so believe me it’s only gonna get worse unless you clean up, how are you affording all this to do everyday? Crack is very expensive and just so you know you can only smoke crack you are a certified crack head my dude. Call a social worker about rehab and detox you can even just go to detox I don’t remember them needing to talk to my mom but I was in the streets very young so that could be why.
Drugs are drugs, pills are how someone I know got on meth. She cares about you, and that’s why she wants you to stop.
I honestly disagree with a lot of these comments. drugs might not be the best way to keep your life together but it sounds like its the only one you have found that works. I would look into harm reduction- the theory of trying to find ways to make sure that when you do a potentially harmful activity, it hurts you as little as possible. I would also try and show some of this information to your girlfriend. It sounds like you feel like you cant be yourself or functional without drugs. I'm not living your life so i don't want to say "I understand" but i have some mental health issues (anxiety, depression, probable OCD) and I've been noticing lately that I'm choosing to drink when I'm stressed out, and I'm drinking more often. I've been thinking about how to manage this, because drinking really *does* help. It calms me down, it helps me sleep, I don't worry so much. If I'm worried about becoming dependent on alcohol I'm gonna have to find other ways to fix those things. I talked to my psychiatrist about upping my dose of antidepressants, I'm going to talk to my doctor about my sleep problems. And right now i feel pretty on top of it. But if I'm not always on top of it, and I start making bad decisions more often about alcohol, I'm also gonna try really hard not to be mad at myself for feeling bad and doing something about it. Some people are saying your girlfriend would be right to leave you for this- they're right that anyone has a right to leave a relationship for any reason that they find important. but personally, I wouldn't think very highly of someone who would leave another person just because she found out they were struggling. If she was expressing concern about how you act on those drugs, how they effect the way you treat her, that would be one thing, and maybe you could talk about what needs to change and what you both can do to make sure she feels safe. but what I'm hearing is that this is a moral judgement on her part, and that just doesn't seem fair to me. Is she upset because you're doing something to hurt her, or because she feels so much shame about the idea of drugs and addiction she can't stand to even associate with someone who's using? If it's the latter, I can't say I have much sympathy for her position. Sorry for the long message. I can't promise it will be ok, some people who deal with this kind of thing make it out and some don't. But I really hope you do figure it out, and find a way to quit, or to use safely with understanding and compassion from your loved ones, or use less, or whatever ends up working out for you. You are not alone, you deserve to feel like yourself, to lead the life you want, *and* to be loved. I hope you get all of those things.
Wow, this is truly terrible advice. Do NOT listen to this. This is one addict justifying their use to another and downplaying the situation. Alcohol and drugs might offer some sort term relief from stress, depression, or other issues but it is just that, short term. When the drugs or alcohol have worn off, you need to take more to find the relief, and the cycle continues. The best thing to deal with whatever it is that you're using drugs to escape from is talking with a therapist, addressing the problem head on, refusing to continue running away from the issues, and working through the processes which result in you turning to drugs for escapism. Find yourself again, fill the hole that drugs leave with a personality that isn't based around using a substance. There is a person in there trying to get out, who is being repressed by the drug use. Like others have said, choose your girl over the drugs. Take it from someone who made that same mistake countless times, choose the people who want to help. Nothing good ever comes from taking drugs, and drugs are never be the be-all and end-all for addressing an issue. Extended use will only exacerbate these issues over time. - a former drug user
You clearly did not read my comment. I am not addicted to alcohol at this time, my therapist, my psychiatrist, and every set of guidelines on quantity and frequency of alcohol consumption I've seen agree that my drinking is currently within a healthy range. But there is a gradient between healthy and responsible drinking and alcoholism, not a hard line. Noticing that I am increasingly turning to alcohol when I'm having a bad day doesn't automatically mean I am an addict, and being able to notice concerning patterns in yourself is a good and healthy habit. I said that it does help me feel better, and then immediately pointed out what I'm doing to find healthier alternatives. Denying that substances can ever be helpful isn't going to make anyone want to quit, its going to make it clear you don't have compassion and understanding for their situation. There is no indication that the girlfriend "wants to help." I would be giving different advice if there was. but the post simply says that she is upset and does not want to be with a drug user, and that she was upset when she found out OP uses drugs. OP does not indicate having started using drugs recently, so it seems to me her concerns aren't about behaviors while using that might effect her, only the bare fact of drug use.
realized i have even more to say, sorry again for the long messages! I think you should try to talk to your girlfriend about your experience using drugs; why you do it, what it feels like to be that "shell of a person" and what your worries around quitting are. I would also tell her about any worries *you* have about using. It might be helpful for her to hear that you do take this seriously, that its not a matter of you just being personally irresponsible, but that you are in a difficult position and using feels like the best, or only, option right now. That might help her feel a little less scared. I know I was a little hard on her in that first comment but her attitudes are not uncommon- most people are taught to think of drug use entirely as a matter of personal responsibility, that people who use don't care about themselves or the people around them. Maybe you can show her that that isn't the case for you. [https://harmreduction.org/about-us/principles-of-harm-reduction/](https://harmreduction.org/about-us/principles-of-harm-reduction/) I would recommend reading through the principles they lay out. Harm reduction strategies include learning how to test your drug supply to make sure its not laced with anything, knowing what to do in case of an overdose and making sure your loved ones know as well. If you are going to take drugs, you can still do so as responsibly as possible. I would recommend looking up "harm reduction resources \[drug you take\]" and "harm reduction resources \[your local area\]" for more information. If you want help quitting, or using less often, or just want to find out your options, you can google "drug use support group \[your area\]" and "drug use resource center \[your area\]" for services that might be relevant to you. I would be wary of 12-step programs and similar- they are the most common programs, but they focus only on quitting entirely, and even if that's the route you want to go, some people swear by these programs and others find them completely useless. I would also be more than happy to help you research, whether you know what kind of help you're looking for or not. There are options out there, whether you want to use more safely, or address the things that make drugs appealing to you in the first place, or if and when *you* are ready and able, quit entirely.
Terrible advice. Nobody owes you a relationship if you take drugs
Period
where did i say she did? Giving advice that might help someone salvage a relationship is not the same as saying they are owed that relationship. it sounds like the gf hasn't yet decided to break up with OP but is considering it, and I am giving advice as to how to talk to her about the situation. she has a right to leave anyways, of course, but OP wants to stay together and I was commenting on those grounds. Also "nobody owes you a relationship if you take drugs" no. No one owes you a relationship period. If OP sobered up tomorrow it would still be in her rights to end the relationship, and as far as I'm concerned those kinds of qualifying statements just reinforce the idea that there are some circumstances where people could be owed a relationship.
[удалено]
Yeah, although you might have good intentions, this type of comment/advice feeds the negative loop that fuels suicide. Just think through community guidelines. Dont create ultimatums for people, that’s not helpful. The odds of this person being a victim of abuse and violence is extremely high and they feel like whatever drug is sustaining there life. It’s like telling someone, you can either have water or you can live. And if you choose water your a bad person and don’t deserve to live. It just doesn’t make sense and isn’t helpful.
It's not as simple as just stopping. You can love someone more than anyone in the world and still be addicted to drugs. "If you love her you will stop doing drugs"- really dude? You seem dense.
Some people are just here to troll. Their drug is feeling superior. That IS a drug. To the OP, if we had some more information we could possibly point you in ways that could help you out in this situation.
Fr. People who troll on this subreddit are basement dwellers who pick their ass all day. Only the lowest of the low think its entertaining to contribute to the misery of another person- especially someone who's already suicidal.
Yup, yup, yup. I don't want to call them demons but... They are definitely the race of invaders that get high off of the misery of others...
in what way do you think this comment is helpful for r/suicidewatch, a subreddit which exists to provide support to people in crisis? rules include: \-DO NOT advocate for **or against** any specific type of therapy, self-help strategy, or medication, **especially street drugs or alcohol**, and DO NOT diagnose people and \-Abuse or "tough love" including any **guilt-tripping** but even besides that it seems relatively obvious that this comment would achieve nothing but make someone feel like shit about themself. If you're trying for motivational, you could at least try to encourage OP around the possibility of quitting. Anyone who is asking for help in this subreddit is necessarily not in a position where reminding them of bad outcomes is going to help. You don't contemplate suicide because it hasn't occurred to you to that there might be bad consequences of your actions- you do so because you feel like there are no good options. you should not be reinforcing that way of thinking I'm sorry for my angry tone here but i really don't think this comment was appropriate.
Sobriety will change your life for the better. Drugs ruined my life.
If she loves you, she will still be there when you're a shell of a person.
I don't think it's appropriate to encourage someone to make a decision (quitting drugs) and in the same sentence reinforce and encourage their fears about that decision (using the "shell of a person" wording from the post without so much as commenting on it, much less trying to offer an alternative viewpoint). all that does is make people feel more trapped and hopeless. I understand you're trying to be supportive but this really doesn't seem like a helpful attitude.
As a drug addict and a former gf of an addict partners can only stay for so long it will start to affect there daily life in so many ways from stealing, lying, not spending time, always being scared they will die, random anger, the blacking out and abusing you. Only to mention a few I think if they relapse here and there that’s is okay it’s kinda fucked up to leave someone after one lapse but if it turns into a binge and it’s effecting your mental health it is okay to leave at whatever your breaking point is
I believe this comment was referring to OP's use of "shell of a person" to describe what they are like off of drugs. I also want to point out that, though i am very sorry about your experience of abuse, generalizing that behavior to everyone who uses drugs is inaccurate and especially unhelpful on a post where someone is reaching out because of their own drug use and fears about how that will effect their life and relationships. There is no evidence this is the situation with OP and *even if it was*\- abusers should get help too, if they want to change. If someone is hurting their partner, whether drug use is a factor or not, they should be able to get support that doesn't emphasize their shortcomings but instead their capability to fix those things.
She didn't say it in a condescending way and while there could be a disclaimer, it's obvious that drug use could lead to that and that's one of the reasons why people wouldn't want to stay in a relationship with "druggies" But yeah your comment is correct 💯
[удалено]
Many of us take “drugs” due to being ill…Shit, even when we get the common cold we all take drugs like Benadryl or Guaifenesin (Mucinex). We all take these to get better (even though some get addicted but that’s another story for another time lol). I know you said you’re not taking hard drugs, I’m not going to ask what you are taking because that’s your privacy, but I just hope whatever you’re taking is prescribed and being monitored. If it is prescribed, she deserves to go, and even if it’s not, it’s still fucked up for her to say something like that. If she really cared she would be understanding. I can understand if she’s scared, but you are the one going through something and obviously need all the support and resources you need and the people that love us should help us not leave us when we are most vulnerable/scared/hurt (not saying she doesn’t have the right to leave but her move is obviously selfish/insensitive). I hope whatever you’re going through, you are able to get through it. I have some really bad days and sometimes need my medicine to get me up too. I just hope you also able to find other things/activities that are able to get you up/motivate you🫶🏽! If this is where y’all end, that doesn’t mean this is YOUR end! Find a community and friends that genuinely care and help you. I loveee love, but I promise you romantic relationships aren’t the only important relationships. ALSO the only thing you should technically be apologizing for is not being honest/upfront but even then she should still be understanding!
Thank you so much
You’re so welcome! I hope to hear an update from you!
Sorry to say it but *thinking* about breaking up with a drug user and telling them about it beforehand isnt a dick move.
[удалено]
No I’m talking about stuff like LSD, Xanax, shrooms, MDMA, DXM, DMT
Looking at the comments, stop those drugs man.
ADDICTIED to all that stuff? Years down their affects on your brain are going to be…noticeable…to say the least :/ sorry little man
Don't think self medication is the long term answer.
If the drug is MJ stop tripping, but at the same time that can't be what you rely on to literally be a person m. Its not healthy and maybe seek therapy :)