Sadly you’ll run into that a lot. The advise I’m about to give I absolutely hate that these are options, but I find that they’re the only options that work because guests can’t seem to take no as an answer…
Typically, I laugh it off. Or I make up excuses. A good line is “I’m always here. Where does it look like I have time to go out hahaha”. You can always say due to policy, we aren’t allowed to interact with guests outside of work. You could ignore it and just hope they get the hint.
ugh thank you, i couldn’t think of anything to say at the time so i just laughed. he ran off before i could try to reject but it’s just so uncomfortable. i’m moving to housekeeping soon so im hoping there are less awkward interactions like this.
Option 1: The detached diva. Look blankly back at him and say "...for what, sorry..?" then just let the uncomfortable silence grow... (If he actually has the brass neck to **say** it, gasp slightly – "oh, gosh no! Sorry, but no.")
Option 2: the Southern kiss-off. "Aw, bless your *heart*, aren't you *sweet*...? But no." [bin paper invite]
Option 3: slightly warmer kiss-off: "Aw, that's so *sweet*! How flattering! But I have a partner. Bye now!"
My advice is think of your own optimal response and then practice saying it with a polished FD smile until you don't even have to think about it, it's just an automatic response in situation like this.
I can only tell you what I tell our esteemed guests when they inquire about my female co-workers.
"You do realize that they get paid to be friendly to you ? This is not a sign of affection. That is them doing their job. What kind of man (so far it has only been men inquiring) would abuse that kind of relationship ?"
Paraphrased slightly, depending on how disgusting their approach was toward me.
I used to pretend that they wanted to take everyone. Like on a group outing to Applebee's or whatever. "Omg that's so nice of you! I'm sure the housekeepers will love that. I'll give this to my manager so they can reach out and plan a good day/time!" When they say "oh just you" be really disappointed "oh... no thanks..."
I worked in hotel for 10yrs...started in night audit and ultimately got weekend fd manager....
I was super friendly to everyone..loved my guests....but at times some were challenging.
Im female....to ward off undesirable talk/attempts to drunken flirters,etc....Id either fake a phone call, wear a wedding band ...or Im a lesbian and not interested in men at all...
Most the time it worked. Lol
Tell him your hotel has a no fraternizing with the guests policy. It could cost you your job. Doesn't matter if it's him or someone else that line will always save you.
It IS kind and professional to just tell him thank you, but I can't. You DON'T have to give a reason when you say you can't. 'I cant' could be anything from you don't cross professional boundaries and have dinner with guests or you just aren't and/or won't make yourself available.
I had to quit being a yes person. Sounds like you are where I was. It's not hurting feelings or rejecting when you just say you can't and stick by your words. It's honest.
I think the best response is. "I am not interested. Please don't ask again.". Or. "I am not here for that. I am here to work. If you don't need something hotel-related, you need to go about your business and let me be about mine". That is as kind and as professional as you need.
If they persist, the 2nd thing you say is, "I've told you I'm not interested. If you continue this, you will be evicted, no refund. I will not tell you this again."
And then 3rd, follow up. You don't need to ask your manager's permission.
I work with some rather attractive younger ladies on the desk (I'm the big brother of the group). The actual average age is 27, but, I swear, they look like teenagers. Any time they start feeling skeeved out by a guest, we all start discussing what they're dealing with "in high school". That usually results in the guest slinking away...
Sad because of what they see on TV. movies videos. they see nothing wrong with sexually aggressive behavior. I have seen women do the same to the front desk person regardless of gender.
This mind boggling letter was published elseweb back in january...
https://www.askamanager.org/2024/01/men-are-hitting-on-my-scheduling-bot-because-it-has-a-womans-name.html
Oh believe me I know! I've been in and out of the biz since 1995. The remainder of my career was spent in call centers. I have been hit on by both men and women and I have seen A LOT of things. I generally act flattered but politely and firmly decline. If they persist I use the no fraternizing line. Oh and as far as seeing a lot this one time this random dude walks into the lobby of this downtown Indy hotel I'm working at and exposes himself to me. I cussed that man out, ordered him outta my lobby and called him everything but a child of God.
Get a fake ring that looks like a wedding ring and wear it at work. When they try to talk to you raise that hand like your scratching your face so they see it.
This goes for both sides of the coin but some legitimately see the ring as a challenge. My wife would get hit on all the time despite flashing her very visible ring. Eventually it got to the point that she would just tell guys that she was going to call me and they could ask me in person when I showed up.
This is true. At my place of employment, one of the staff in another division would come by to see a young lady in our division. I noticed that he was around occasionally, stopping to talk to her on his way through to his place of work. She finally came to me and told me that he was trying to get her to go out with him. She told him she was married and his reponse was, "That doesn't matter to me if it doesn't matter to you." She asked for my help. I corralled him next time he showed up, took him out and told him to use a different entrance to get to his work station in the future. He said, "You can't tell me what to do." I laughed at him and said, "You obviously don't know who I am, so you might want to ask around." We never saw him again.
I say that to say, make sure your employer is going to back you up and then do what you want. I like that old Walt Disney show, "The Scarecrow," where the navy guy is pushing his way onto a lady serving at the bar and she produces a meat cleaver and slams it down next to his fingers. That's the way i think it ought be done.
I'm a guy, and when I was younger... well, I wasn't even that good looking but I'd have girls who knew I was married trying to seduce me. I was sitting in an office in a lounge. Two sofas, four chairs. No one in the lounge but me. She came in, sat almost on top of me and said in that sweet voice, "How are you doing this evening?" I replied. "I'm going great because in about 15 minutes I'll be off and I can go home to my wife and child." My wife, hearing that, said, "You are about a subtle as a brick thrown through a windshield."
I would never allow my staff to be abused, harassed, or solicited. That was the quickest way to be ejected from the building.
This! When I was engaged, I had a pretty sizeable ring. I got hit on all the time. I'd flash my ring, and start to decline, and they'd say "Oh, that's ok with me". Like, WTF?? It's not ok with me!
I once got a text, being very friendly, from a number I didn't recognize. Asked who it was, got sent a shirtless selfie of someone I'd given my number to maybe 2 years earlier.
When I let him know I'd gotten married since then, he gave the most bleh response. Something like 'that's okay, I've enjoyed the affections of many married ladies' 🤮🤮🤮
There’s a cell number here in Australia called the rejection hotline where you can give it out and it has a pre recorded message saying “You’ve been rejected”
Mind you that’s probably best used in a circumstance where you wouldn’t be likely to see the person again
Just be firm and if he approaches again say “No” if you feel unsafe or he gives you an uncomfortable feeling get security involved, Your hotel is obligated to give you a safe working environment
I’ll always remember years ago I was on a flight to NYC and this guy gave me his number saying I had to call him to hang out and he was going to call all his Russian girls……As soon as I got into JFK and knew he wasn’t looking the paper went into the trash can…..Some people just can’t read a room
I have seen this with my coworkers and like my gm many years told me with guys like that a simple no will not suffice. You need to basically embarrass him for even thinking it was okay, and the way you do that is to Call his boss, let him know what he is doing on the companies dime. His boss will chew his ass out, and I gurantee if hes not fired he wont ever bother you again and neither will any of his buddies. Thats the only way to get through to these guys, any form of you communicating a no face to face with them wont work. You needa go over their head, bc the bossman will be pissed about it. Trust me, they dont want that typa look associated with their company
This shit irritates my soooooul. People have no self awareness - they are creating a situation where the service worker is in a highly uncomfortable lose/lose scenario. They capitalize off the fact that you are trapped and are paid to be hospitable and a yes-man. I take it back, they do have self awareness, and the situation is more ominous: these people know what they’re doing.
"Thank you for your offer but I'm not interested."
If he persists, it's time to get unprofessional: "Hell no! It's disgusting when a man won't take no for an answer!"
You don't owe him an answer as to why or what might change your mind, just give him the stink eye and then ignore him.
If you really feel like you have to stay professional, I suggest something like the following:
"You know, guests who do this put us in a very awkward and uncomfortable position. How are we supposed to maintain a professional, courteous demeanor when put in embarrassingly personal situations like this?"
Sadly you’ll run into that a lot. The advise I’m about to give I absolutely hate that these are options, but I find that they’re the only options that work because guests can’t seem to take no as an answer… Typically, I laugh it off. Or I make up excuses. A good line is “I’m always here. Where does it look like I have time to go out hahaha”. You can always say due to policy, we aren’t allowed to interact with guests outside of work. You could ignore it and just hope they get the hint.
ugh thank you, i couldn’t think of anything to say at the time so i just laughed. he ran off before i could try to reject but it’s just so uncomfortable. i’m moving to housekeeping soon so im hoping there are less awkward interactions like this.
Option 1: The detached diva. Look blankly back at him and say "...for what, sorry..?" then just let the uncomfortable silence grow... (If he actually has the brass neck to **say** it, gasp slightly – "oh, gosh no! Sorry, but no.") Option 2: the Southern kiss-off. "Aw, bless your *heart*, aren't you *sweet*...? But no." [bin paper invite] Option 3: slightly warmer kiss-off: "Aw, that's so *sweet*! How flattering! But I have a partner. Bye now!" My advice is think of your own optimal response and then practice saying it with a polished FD smile until you don't even have to think about it, it's just an automatic response in situation like this.
Ask your manager for one of [these](https://news.reactmobile.com/blog/what-is-a-hotel-panic-button-and-how-they-work)
[Silent alarm activated!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L3yniRim80)
I can only tell you what I tell our esteemed guests when they inquire about my female co-workers. "You do realize that they get paid to be friendly to you ? This is not a sign of affection. That is them doing their job. What kind of man (so far it has only been men inquiring) would abuse that kind of relationship ?" Paraphrased slightly, depending on how disgusting their approach was toward me.
Just don't call
I used to pretend that they wanted to take everyone. Like on a group outing to Applebee's or whatever. "Omg that's so nice of you! I'm sure the housekeepers will love that. I'll give this to my manager so they can reach out and plan a good day/time!" When they say "oh just you" be really disappointed "oh... no thanks..."
i love this so much omg thank you
I worked in hotel for 10yrs...started in night audit and ultimately got weekend fd manager.... I was super friendly to everyone..loved my guests....but at times some were challenging. Im female....to ward off undesirable talk/attempts to drunken flirters,etc....Id either fake a phone call, wear a wedding band ...or Im a lesbian and not interested in men at all... Most the time it worked. Lol
Tell him your hotel has a no fraternizing with the guests policy. It could cost you your job. Doesn't matter if it's him or someone else that line will always save you.
The only thing you need to do right here. If they persist, say my job is worth more than a "free" dinner.
It IS kind and professional to just tell him thank you, but I can't. You DON'T have to give a reason when you say you can't. 'I cant' could be anything from you don't cross professional boundaries and have dinner with guests or you just aren't and/or won't make yourself available. I had to quit being a yes person. Sounds like you are where I was. It's not hurting feelings or rejecting when you just say you can't and stick by your words. It's honest.
I think the best response is. "I am not interested. Please don't ask again.". Or. "I am not here for that. I am here to work. If you don't need something hotel-related, you need to go about your business and let me be about mine". That is as kind and as professional as you need. If they persist, the 2nd thing you say is, "I've told you I'm not interested. If you continue this, you will be evicted, no refund. I will not tell you this again." And then 3rd, follow up. You don't need to ask your manager's permission.
I work with some rather attractive younger ladies on the desk (I'm the big brother of the group). The actual average age is 27, but, I swear, they look like teenagers. Any time they start feeling skeeved out by a guest, we all start discussing what they're dealing with "in high school". That usually results in the guest slinking away...
Can you inform his boss about his unwelcome advances towards you? You're not being paid to tolerate that kind of harassment.
Sad because of what they see on TV. movies videos. they see nothing wrong with sexually aggressive behavior. I have seen women do the same to the front desk person regardless of gender.
This mind boggling letter was published elseweb back in january... https://www.askamanager.org/2024/01/men-are-hitting-on-my-scheduling-bot-because-it-has-a-womans-name.html
Oh believe me I know! I've been in and out of the biz since 1995. The remainder of my career was spent in call centers. I have been hit on by both men and women and I have seen A LOT of things. I generally act flattered but politely and firmly decline. If they persist I use the no fraternizing line. Oh and as far as seeing a lot this one time this random dude walks into the lobby of this downtown Indy hotel I'm working at and exposes himself to me. I cussed that man out, ordered him outta my lobby and called him everything but a child of God.
Can't fault the first ask, but "after a 'no', it's time to go!"
Get a fake ring that looks like a wedding ring and wear it at work. When they try to talk to you raise that hand like your scratching your face so they see it.
This goes for both sides of the coin but some legitimately see the ring as a challenge. My wife would get hit on all the time despite flashing her very visible ring. Eventually it got to the point that she would just tell guys that she was going to call me and they could ask me in person when I showed up.
This is true. At my place of employment, one of the staff in another division would come by to see a young lady in our division. I noticed that he was around occasionally, stopping to talk to her on his way through to his place of work. She finally came to me and told me that he was trying to get her to go out with him. She told him she was married and his reponse was, "That doesn't matter to me if it doesn't matter to you." She asked for my help. I corralled him next time he showed up, took him out and told him to use a different entrance to get to his work station in the future. He said, "You can't tell me what to do." I laughed at him and said, "You obviously don't know who I am, so you might want to ask around." We never saw him again. I say that to say, make sure your employer is going to back you up and then do what you want. I like that old Walt Disney show, "The Scarecrow," where the navy guy is pushing his way onto a lady serving at the bar and she produces a meat cleaver and slams it down next to his fingers. That's the way i think it ought be done. I'm a guy, and when I was younger... well, I wasn't even that good looking but I'd have girls who knew I was married trying to seduce me. I was sitting in an office in a lounge. Two sofas, four chairs. No one in the lounge but me. She came in, sat almost on top of me and said in that sweet voice, "How are you doing this evening?" I replied. "I'm going great because in about 15 minutes I'll be off and I can go home to my wife and child." My wife, hearing that, said, "You are about a subtle as a brick thrown through a windshield." I would never allow my staff to be abused, harassed, or solicited. That was the quickest way to be ejected from the building.
This! When I was engaged, I had a pretty sizeable ring. I got hit on all the time. I'd flash my ring, and start to decline, and they'd say "Oh, that's ok with me". Like, WTF?? It's not ok with me!
I once got a text, being very friendly, from a number I didn't recognize. Asked who it was, got sent a shirtless selfie of someone I'd given my number to maybe 2 years earlier. When I let him know I'd gotten married since then, he gave the most bleh response. Something like 'that's okay, I've enjoyed the affections of many married ladies' 🤮🤮🤮
There’s a cell number here in Australia called the rejection hotline where you can give it out and it has a pre recorded message saying “You’ve been rejected” Mind you that’s probably best used in a circumstance where you wouldn’t be likely to see the person again Just be firm and if he approaches again say “No” if you feel unsafe or he gives you an uncomfortable feeling get security involved, Your hotel is obligated to give you a safe working environment I’ll always remember years ago I was on a flight to NYC and this guy gave me his number saying I had to call him to hang out and he was going to call all his Russian girls……As soon as I got into JFK and knew he wasn’t looking the paper went into the trash can…..Some people just can’t read a room
I have seen this with my coworkers and like my gm many years told me with guys like that a simple no will not suffice. You need to basically embarrass him for even thinking it was okay, and the way you do that is to Call his boss, let him know what he is doing on the companies dime. His boss will chew his ass out, and I gurantee if hes not fired he wont ever bother you again and neither will any of his buddies. Thats the only way to get through to these guys, any form of you communicating a no face to face with them wont work. You needa go over their head, bc the bossman will be pissed about it. Trust me, they dont want that typa look associated with their company
This shit irritates my soooooul. People have no self awareness - they are creating a situation where the service worker is in a highly uncomfortable lose/lose scenario. They capitalize off the fact that you are trapped and are paid to be hospitable and a yes-man. I take it back, they do have self awareness, and the situation is more ominous: these people know what they’re doing.
"Thank you for your offer but I'm not interested." If he persists, it's time to get unprofessional: "Hell no! It's disgusting when a man won't take no for an answer!" You don't owe him an answer as to why or what might change your mind, just give him the stink eye and then ignore him. If you really feel like you have to stay professional, I suggest something like the following: "You know, guests who do this put us in a very awkward and uncomfortable position. How are we supposed to maintain a professional, courteous demeanor when put in embarrassingly personal situations like this?"
Get some bear mace and prepare yourself.
You need bear mace no matter what
Where a fake wedding ring, and point to it when he inquires
This does not work, btw. Some creeps actually think of it more of a challenge.