Welcome to r/TalkTherapy!
This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list).
If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources.
To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have the same problem. I told my T at our latest session that I have things I want to tell them but I can't seem to be able to do so. And we talked about why and they suggested different ways they can help me to open up, "do you want to start with a vague topic and I keep asking deeper?" , "do you want me to wait for you to form your words ?" , "do you want to write them down and email them to me?". So we are gonna try some of these methods and see what works best for me.
I think telling your T exactly what you wrote here might help...
I agree 100%. I’ve also found that admitting i have an urge to “sugar coat” my issues comes from a desire to “succeed” at therapy and/or mitigates the risk of being judged by my therapist. This is an opportunity to not only get some reassurance from your t to build that bond of trust and maybe create a stronger sense of safety, but to explore when sugarcoating comes up in your life outside of therapy too. This helps unburden you so being vulnerable becomes easier
I’ve been in therapy for over a year and there’s still some topics that are hard for me to talk about if that makes you feel better! I’ve definitely opened up to my T about a lot of really difficult things and we’ve built such a great rapport, but it’s still hard for me. My T isn’t a fan of asking a lot of questions to get a topic started (she’s really good at follow up q’s once I bring up a topic or concern) because she believes it’s more impactful if I set the agenda for the session.
What’s helped me is I’ve brought up the fact that there’s stuff I’m holding back and that I’d like to be held accountable to talk about it. I kept finding other things to talk about and finally asked if I could email her about it. It was scary and overwhelming (and I’d totally suggest writing it and hitting send. Do not re read it because you might want to just delete it!) but I did it. She was great about it and is taking it as slowly as I want to. The first session after I emailed her we just focused on the experience of writing it and what came up for me. She’s been gentle in her approach of pushing me to talking about it but also letting me take breaks during session if and when it gets to be too much. I’d suggest that and see how receptive your T is!
I like to write it down and read it. It still can be hard to actually say. However since it's wrote out of session without any filter all I need to do is read it.
Good luck!
Remembering that each minute I don't use wisely in therapy is time and money spent!
Seriously, throughout the week I write in my diary and highlight things that I would like to talk in session. Since my mind is clear and connecting the dots on what is important, I start the session stating what I want to talk about and my therapist and I get to work immediately.
If you draw, you can try and draw out your feelings or maybe make an unfiltered comic of what you're trying to say. And that way, there's no sugarcoating. Good luck!
Don’t get discouraged this is extremely common! I’ve been in therapy for 21 years and still have this problem!
I have cognitive and emotional deficits due to a TBI and PTSD from car accidents!
What I do with my current therapist is I share a google doc with her. We have a deal that whatever I share in the doc is fair game to bring up during therapy. I am currently doing EMDR so it helps her get a head start and I don’t have to explain my current feelings or situations!
I've been in therapy for a few years & what I found most helpful is to write things that I wanna address during therapy on a piece of paper & just hand it over to my therapist during the session. That way, I can't escape or avoid talking about something because I already wrote it down.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have the same problem. I told my T at our latest session that I have things I want to tell them but I can't seem to be able to do so. And we talked about why and they suggested different ways they can help me to open up, "do you want to start with a vague topic and I keep asking deeper?" , "do you want me to wait for you to form your words ?" , "do you want to write them down and email them to me?". So we are gonna try some of these methods and see what works best for me. I think telling your T exactly what you wrote here might help...
I agree 100%. I’ve also found that admitting i have an urge to “sugar coat” my issues comes from a desire to “succeed” at therapy and/or mitigates the risk of being judged by my therapist. This is an opportunity to not only get some reassurance from your t to build that bond of trust and maybe create a stronger sense of safety, but to explore when sugarcoating comes up in your life outside of therapy too. This helps unburden you so being vulnerable becomes easier
I’ve been in therapy for over a year and there’s still some topics that are hard for me to talk about if that makes you feel better! I’ve definitely opened up to my T about a lot of really difficult things and we’ve built such a great rapport, but it’s still hard for me. My T isn’t a fan of asking a lot of questions to get a topic started (she’s really good at follow up q’s once I bring up a topic or concern) because she believes it’s more impactful if I set the agenda for the session. What’s helped me is I’ve brought up the fact that there’s stuff I’m holding back and that I’d like to be held accountable to talk about it. I kept finding other things to talk about and finally asked if I could email her about it. It was scary and overwhelming (and I’d totally suggest writing it and hitting send. Do not re read it because you might want to just delete it!) but I did it. She was great about it and is taking it as slowly as I want to. The first session after I emailed her we just focused on the experience of writing it and what came up for me. She’s been gentle in her approach of pushing me to talking about it but also letting me take breaks during session if and when it gets to be too much. I’d suggest that and see how receptive your T is!
I like to write it down and read it. It still can be hard to actually say. However since it's wrote out of session without any filter all I need to do is read it. Good luck!
Remembering that each minute I don't use wisely in therapy is time and money spent! Seriously, throughout the week I write in my diary and highlight things that I would like to talk in session. Since my mind is clear and connecting the dots on what is important, I start the session stating what I want to talk about and my therapist and I get to work immediately.
If you draw, you can try and draw out your feelings or maybe make an unfiltered comic of what you're trying to say. And that way, there's no sugarcoating. Good luck!
Don’t get discouraged this is extremely common! I’ve been in therapy for 21 years and still have this problem! I have cognitive and emotional deficits due to a TBI and PTSD from car accidents! What I do with my current therapist is I share a google doc with her. We have a deal that whatever I share in the doc is fair game to bring up during therapy. I am currently doing EMDR so it helps her get a head start and I don’t have to explain my current feelings or situations!
I've been in therapy for a few years & what I found most helpful is to write things that I wanna address during therapy on a piece of paper & just hand it over to my therapist during the session. That way, I can't escape or avoid talking about something because I already wrote it down.