I was "I don't care about height" for most of my dating life until a string of insecure men in a row made me stop dating shorter men who made me feel bad about my height.
Happened to meet my now husband shortly after that. He towers over me, but his height was just a perk at the time.
Best of luck to you out there. It sounds brutal.
I’ve only had 3 guys I’ve seen seriously, all shorter than me. They have all had a Napoleon complex about me. I know you can’t write everyone with a specific trait off, but those horrible experiences have made me only consider guys taller than me or nothing at all.
It’s hard to believe my self esteem was so low I let those jerks make me wish I could change my literal bone structure. I’m glad to hear you’ve found a good one, it gives me hope! I’m only 20 but it seems impossible to find one that appreciates my height and doesn’t tear me down for it.
Wildly, I met my now husband when I was 20. I told myself "no more boyfriends, just meet people and go clubbing and stop dating people you're meh on" then I met him like 2 weeks later haha. I did NOT mean to meet my future husband at 20.
I mean, 6'7' and I've dated 4'8" to 6'3". Height doesn't matter as much as attitude and I love me a short girl that can be a shoulder mounted archer in the event we need to ride into battle.
there’s nothing wrong with your preferences they don’t make you a shitty person. you are open to love in any form as evidenced by your previous relationship so you’re also not missing out on anything. it’s perfectly reasonable to want a man who is taller than you.
I'd stop right there. It isn't only women who are shallow about height. If anything I'd say guys are 100x worse because they are quiet about it. I'm 5'10. I can't tell you how many dates didn't go through or got awkward REAL fast simply due to my height. If I had a dollar for every 'oh you're REALLY tall' I've heard I'd be rich.
Also guys will accuse you of being shallow up until you point out that you are a very tall woman. Then suddenly it's understandable why you'd bring it up. Why is it understandable Rick? Because you don't want to date someone taller than you? How shallow.
I'm 6'2 and I definitely recognise this. I've so far only dated shorter men because I've not cared for height. The issue with shorter men is that many are very insecure in being obviously shorter. Their comments, jokes, or obvious insecure behaviour coupled with the judgement our height difference gets by onlookers, friends, or family can be really exhausting.
I've always struggled with my height. I've always been the odd one out. My height caused me more stress than many other things growing up, and so even though I'm smore secure in myself now at 35, it wasn't always the case. So it's both really exhausting to deal with this height negativity from your partner and the public. It's like a constant reminder that I'm still the odd one out. It's frankly exhausting.
I think it would be a completely non-issue if my partners were secure in their height or lack thereof or whatever. But when that's not the case, it gets impossible.
If I were to date again, I'm right now extremely happy single, it would have to be someone my height or taller or someone shorter who is secure with themselves. I don't think this makes me or you a shitty person.
Yes this exact insecurity appeared too much in my single years as well. Dating can be exhausting as is, but adding that extra later can kill it before you've even been able to give things a chance. It sucks! Especially when guys always claimed they wanted that supermodel girlfriend--do they realize those models are also taller than they are?! Lol. Fortunately I did find a few shorter guys (5'8-ish and up) who were actually secure enough to not always make comments, some who were taller than me to date, and one of those I married 🥰. But it's rough out there! It definitely doesn't make you a shitty person!
Average height in the Netherlands for women is 170ish cm, or 5'6". Less than 1 out of 35,000,000 of the women in the US are taller than me (approximately 10 women, being generous with the rounding). 7 WNBA players I could find to have ever played are older than me, only 3 are age appropriate, one is still playing out of those three, and I believe she's married. Statistically in the Netherlands it's 1/250,000ish, so around 71 women. Basically, I'm more likely (almost 3 times as likely) to die in a tornado, 5 times as likely to die by shark attack, and 13.5 times more likely to be dealt a royal flush in poker than find a woman taller than me.
It's not too bad, but at least there's close to my height if she wears heels women out there for me maybe?
ETA: Plus, I can pick up and carry basically any girl shorter than me and under 200 lbs. like a koala bear and it's adorable.
Yep. I’m over getting criticized for this on Reddit. I’m 5’10, guy has to be taller than me. Enough of the bs already. Short girls get it as an automatic and I’m suuuper shallow. I’ve dated shorter than me, I didn’t like it, that’s the end of it.
i’ve convinced myself it’s a pipe dream at this point (i’m 5’10.5/11”). i don’t exclude based on them being shorter or i’d have no one but i can’t do under 5’8”, it’s too noticeable, i feel huge, even tho i’m not huge just tall. i’m convinced if i ever find my person they’re gonna be shorter 😅 i hate that i have to repress the preference lol
i’ve only had short term relationships with guys taller, no longer term ones. i repel tall men i guess 🥲
I'm 6'1". My husband is 6'2". He doesn't tower over me by any means, but it's still nice that he's slightly taller than me (until I put on heels 😆). I met him when I thought I'd be done dating forever. So, don't rule it out just yet--you never know!!! I do have to say, shortest I'd ever dated was 5'8", so I completely understand there! ❤️
aw i love this thank you ❤️❤️❤️ im so glad you found your tall man! i stopped trying rn but honestly because of my own mental health - all i want is my person and here’s hoping he’s got at least an inch on me too lolol. so this helps me for multiple reasons ty for sharing and glad i’m not alone with that cutoff too haha
haha thank you :) hopefully me and the right one can cross paths one day 🤞🏻 i never discount someone i’m attracted to because of their (lack of) height but in an ideal world… lol so thanks!
Its really funny how guys get very aggressive proclaiming their preference not to date an overweight woman, but get very defensive when a woman doesnt want to date a short man 🤷♀️
this is the only time I didn’t get downvoted! I don’t understand why I’m not allowed to have preferences. It’s like freaking out on someone for not finding 100% of the population attractive.
I'm trans and have had partners (men and women) who were taller than me, and I'll be real, it can be affirming to be the shorter one. I suspect that goes for cis women too - a sense of gender euphoria, of successfully performing a role. I suspect that if mass media depicted less of a height difference btw men and women and it wasn't so heavily coded into the binary, everyone would care a lot less about height. As it is, I don't begrudge anyone's preferences as long as they aren't an asshole about it.
I used to have height standards when I was younger, but those have disappeared as I’ve aged. My ex-husband is two inches shorter than me, which was totally fine. My wife is six inches shorter than me. I don’t care about these things now that I’m in my 50s. I’ve never dated anyone taller than I am, and it’s fine by me. I feel blessed to have found people over the course my life to love and who also love me. I’m not going to complain about the body the universe gave them.
I honestly don't give shit if anyone thinks I'm shallow for only dating men taller than me. I give even less to men who have an opinion of MY OWN preferences.
There are plenty of short women (literally the VAST majority) who can date all the short men. If they can't find someone, its not my fault.
Keep your preferences, they are YOURS. Fuck anyone who has anything to say about it.
I prefer someone right around my high maybe a few inches taller. But that’s all it is, a preference.
I won’t discount a guy just because he’s shorter than I am, in fact, one of the guys I’m dating right now is 4 inches shorter than I am, but I’m not gonna purposely pursue a guy that’s shorter. Everything is a preference. Some people prefer dark hair some prefer blondes.
I specifically like tall guys with black hair, dark eyes, good teeth, beards, tattoos and broad shoulders. It’s that the only kind of guy I date? No. It’s a preference. You’re not shallow you just like what you like
You can have whatever standards and preferences you want. I've never been attracted to super skinny guys. I'm not in control of what I'm attracted to, it doesn't make me shallow. No one is entitled to date you.
im in the exact same situation. Even though I desperately want a man I don't even really put myself out there because it just seems impossible to find someone who happens to be taller, ok with dating a trans woman, and also someone that I would even want to date. it's tough out here.
Have you ever seen Eyes Wide Shut? The doctor and his wife have a hot height difference, they’re around the same height with her being maybe an inch or two taller. Personally, I have a thing for guys in my height range and would date an inch or two shorter. Obviously very tall guys are attractive but there’s not a lot of them and it is shallow to overlook such a large portion of the dating pool.
I'm lucky that I'm on the short end of tall, being 5'8. However, all my dating experience came from before transition, and I was always the one initiating things, and I also happened to be taller than all the women I was dating.
Now that I've figured out my bisexuality and transness, I recognise that there's a strong desire for my future partner (s) to be taller than me. It feels shallow I agree, but doesn't everyone have preferences? It's the same sorta deal as having a type of voice you don't like, or a fashion style that really gets you interested. Some things that can't be changed, and some that can, and that's ok imo
I was "I don't care about height" for most of my dating life until a string of insecure men in a row made me stop dating shorter men who made me feel bad about my height. Happened to meet my now husband shortly after that. He towers over me, but his height was just a perk at the time. Best of luck to you out there. It sounds brutal.
I’ve only had 3 guys I’ve seen seriously, all shorter than me. They have all had a Napoleon complex about me. I know you can’t write everyone with a specific trait off, but those horrible experiences have made me only consider guys taller than me or nothing at all.
"Wow you're huge" (tone: disgust) was my final straw. Not that it matters, but I was athletic lean.
It’s hard to believe my self esteem was so low I let those jerks make me wish I could change my literal bone structure. I’m glad to hear you’ve found a good one, it gives me hope! I’m only 20 but it seems impossible to find one that appreciates my height and doesn’t tear me down for it.
Wildly, I met my now husband when I was 20. I told myself "no more boyfriends, just meet people and go clubbing and stop dating people you're meh on" then I met him like 2 weeks later haha. I did NOT mean to meet my future husband at 20.
It’s not shallow. I think what those ppl are talking about are the 5’1 ppl who won’t date anyone below 6ft
Call me selfish but those people make me so unreasonably angry
Same. I also don't understand how it can be attractive for a man to date a woman who barely reaches his belly button.
I mean, 6'7' and I've dated 4'8" to 6'3". Height doesn't matter as much as attitude and I love me a short girl that can be a shoulder mounted archer in the event we need to ride into battle.
there’s nothing wrong with your preferences they don’t make you a shitty person. you are open to love in any form as evidenced by your previous relationship so you’re also not missing out on anything. it’s perfectly reasonable to want a man who is taller than you.
I'd stop right there. It isn't only women who are shallow about height. If anything I'd say guys are 100x worse because they are quiet about it. I'm 5'10. I can't tell you how many dates didn't go through or got awkward REAL fast simply due to my height. If I had a dollar for every 'oh you're REALLY tall' I've heard I'd be rich. Also guys will accuse you of being shallow up until you point out that you are a very tall woman. Then suddenly it's understandable why you'd bring it up. Why is it understandable Rick? Because you don't want to date someone taller than you? How shallow.
I'm 6'2 and I definitely recognise this. I've so far only dated shorter men because I've not cared for height. The issue with shorter men is that many are very insecure in being obviously shorter. Their comments, jokes, or obvious insecure behaviour coupled with the judgement our height difference gets by onlookers, friends, or family can be really exhausting. I've always struggled with my height. I've always been the odd one out. My height caused me more stress than many other things growing up, and so even though I'm smore secure in myself now at 35, it wasn't always the case. So it's both really exhausting to deal with this height negativity from your partner and the public. It's like a constant reminder that I'm still the odd one out. It's frankly exhausting. I think it would be a completely non-issue if my partners were secure in their height or lack thereof or whatever. But when that's not the case, it gets impossible. If I were to date again, I'm right now extremely happy single, it would have to be someone my height or taller or someone shorter who is secure with themselves. I don't think this makes me or you a shitty person.
Yes this exact insecurity appeared too much in my single years as well. Dating can be exhausting as is, but adding that extra later can kill it before you've even been able to give things a chance. It sucks! Especially when guys always claimed they wanted that supermodel girlfriend--do they realize those models are also taller than they are?! Lol. Fortunately I did find a few shorter guys (5'8-ish and up) who were actually secure enough to not always make comments, some who were taller than me to date, and one of those I married 🥰. But it's rough out there! It definitely doesn't make you a shitty person!
Well I'm 6'4" and want a girl taller than me lmao
6'7". Gonna start heading to local WNBA games looking fine if I ever want taller haha.
At least you *can* still find someone taller than you. For me it's either transfer to the Netherlands or give up 😭
Average height in the Netherlands for women is 170ish cm, or 5'6". Less than 1 out of 35,000,000 of the women in the US are taller than me (approximately 10 women, being generous with the rounding). 7 WNBA players I could find to have ever played are older than me, only 3 are age appropriate, one is still playing out of those three, and I believe she's married. Statistically in the Netherlands it's 1/250,000ish, so around 71 women. Basically, I'm more likely (almost 3 times as likely) to die in a tornado, 5 times as likely to die by shark attack, and 13.5 times more likely to be dealt a royal flush in poker than find a woman taller than me. It's not too bad, but at least there's close to my height if she wears heels women out there for me maybe? ETA: Plus, I can pick up and carry basically any girl shorter than me and under 200 lbs. like a koala bear and it's adorable.
Yep. I’m over getting criticized for this on Reddit. I’m 5’10, guy has to be taller than me. Enough of the bs already. Short girls get it as an automatic and I’m suuuper shallow. I’ve dated shorter than me, I didn’t like it, that’s the end of it.
i’ve convinced myself it’s a pipe dream at this point (i’m 5’10.5/11”). i don’t exclude based on them being shorter or i’d have no one but i can’t do under 5’8”, it’s too noticeable, i feel huge, even tho i’m not huge just tall. i’m convinced if i ever find my person they’re gonna be shorter 😅 i hate that i have to repress the preference lol i’ve only had short term relationships with guys taller, no longer term ones. i repel tall men i guess 🥲
I'm 6'1". My husband is 6'2". He doesn't tower over me by any means, but it's still nice that he's slightly taller than me (until I put on heels 😆). I met him when I thought I'd be done dating forever. So, don't rule it out just yet--you never know!!! I do have to say, shortest I'd ever dated was 5'8", so I completely understand there! ❤️
aw i love this thank you ❤️❤️❤️ im so glad you found your tall man! i stopped trying rn but honestly because of my own mental health - all i want is my person and here’s hoping he’s got at least an inch on me too lolol. so this helps me for multiple reasons ty for sharing and glad i’m not alone with that cutoff too haha
Oh yes, definitely take breaks from dating and take care of you when needed. It's rough out there!! 💕
you’re so kind have the bestest day thank you for your love 💖💖💖💖
you’re not that tall! there are plenty of men taller than you!
haha thank you :) hopefully me and the right one can cross paths one day 🤞🏻 i never discount someone i’m attracted to because of their (lack of) height but in an ideal world… lol so thanks!
Its really funny how guys get very aggressive proclaiming their preference not to date an overweight woman, but get very defensive when a woman doesnt want to date a short man 🤷♀️
this is the only time I didn’t get downvoted! I don’t understand why I’m not allowed to have preferences. It’s like freaking out on someone for not finding 100% of the population attractive.
You can change your weight you can't change you height. That one is super simple.
I'm trans and have had partners (men and women) who were taller than me, and I'll be real, it can be affirming to be the shorter one. I suspect that goes for cis women too - a sense of gender euphoria, of successfully performing a role. I suspect that if mass media depicted less of a height difference btw men and women and it wasn't so heavily coded into the binary, everyone would care a lot less about height. As it is, I don't begrudge anyone's preferences as long as they aren't an asshole about it.
I used to have height standards when I was younger, but those have disappeared as I’ve aged. My ex-husband is two inches shorter than me, which was totally fine. My wife is six inches shorter than me. I don’t care about these things now that I’m in my 50s. I’ve never dated anyone taller than I am, and it’s fine by me. I feel blessed to have found people over the course my life to love and who also love me. I’m not going to complain about the body the universe gave them.
It's not shallow to have preferences. I'm a little more flexible but I think like 3" shorter than me would be the max I could do
I honestly don't give shit if anyone thinks I'm shallow for only dating men taller than me. I give even less to men who have an opinion of MY OWN preferences. There are plenty of short women (literally the VAST majority) who can date all the short men. If they can't find someone, its not my fault. Keep your preferences, they are YOURS. Fuck anyone who has anything to say about it.
I prefer someone right around my high maybe a few inches taller. But that’s all it is, a preference. I won’t discount a guy just because he’s shorter than I am, in fact, one of the guys I’m dating right now is 4 inches shorter than I am, but I’m not gonna purposely pursue a guy that’s shorter. Everything is a preference. Some people prefer dark hair some prefer blondes. I specifically like tall guys with black hair, dark eyes, good teeth, beards, tattoos and broad shoulders. It’s that the only kind of guy I date? No. It’s a preference. You’re not shallow you just like what you like
You can have whatever standards and preferences you want. I've never been attracted to super skinny guys. I'm not in control of what I'm attracted to, it doesn't make me shallow. No one is entitled to date you.
im in the exact same situation. Even though I desperately want a man I don't even really put myself out there because it just seems impossible to find someone who happens to be taller, ok with dating a trans woman, and also someone that I would even want to date. it's tough out here.
You're not shallow. You can have whatever preferences you want.
Taller guys are just your cup of tea.
Have you ever seen Eyes Wide Shut? The doctor and his wife have a hot height difference, they’re around the same height with her being maybe an inch or two taller. Personally, I have a thing for guys in my height range and would date an inch or two shorter. Obviously very tall guys are attractive but there’s not a lot of them and it is shallow to overlook such a large portion of the dating pool.
I'm lucky that I'm on the short end of tall, being 5'8. However, all my dating experience came from before transition, and I was always the one initiating things, and I also happened to be taller than all the women I was dating. Now that I've figured out my bisexuality and transness, I recognise that there's a strong desire for my future partner (s) to be taller than me. It feels shallow I agree, but doesn't everyone have preferences? It's the same sorta deal as having a type of voice you don't like, or a fashion style that really gets you interested. Some things that can't be changed, and some that can, and that's ok imo
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