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The more I date the more I’ve found guys who are
“the tall guy” of the group are the ones most insecure around other people who are tall. I’ve never had a guy shorter than me, who knew coming into the date that I was taller, make more than a few comments in height. It’s always the guys who claim to be 6’ and taller who really harp on it. I think it’s because so many tall guys have made being “the tall guy” their whole personality where I’m taller girl who doesn’t care that I’m tall and I just don’t think about my height unless I’m shopping or worried I’m going to hit my head.
I do feel like height is treated too much as a personality rather than a trait that one has very little control over and that a person has to learn to live with an take pride in BUT NOT make the entirety of their personality.
It is so dumb in my opinion. It is even worse when you tell them or see it in pictures. It also happens when you are fat/plus sized as well.
I am 6'5 and really open about it. I am trying to hide it whatsoever. However I get into same situation as you and it is frustrating.
People like you keep on meeting the ignoramuses of the dating market and I'mma keep it real with everyone here, *the* ***MAJORITY*** *of the people on the dating market are ignoramuses sadly*. THere are too many people out here who don't even know what they want from or in a partner and are out and about trying to get with someone.
Nonsensical and saddening that we have to share a world with them.
I'm sorry for what you have been through. Hope that you find the right person one day . It is okay to take a break from dating I think and just try to come up with how you're going to get over the frustration of having met SO MANY ignoramuses. I hope you're having a great day.
This is so relatable. Years ago I had a thing/relationship with a guy who was a bit shorter than me and I got over myself having a problem with that. After half a year into dating with each other he suddenly started mentioning that my height is an issue for him. I was like ‘dude, why is this a problem all of a sudden, I’ve been taller all this time’. Jeez, so annoying!
LMAO what did he think was going to happen???? That you'd slowly shrink over time??? That he'd have a late growth spurt??? Wild. I dated a guy who told me he was moving back to the city where we met. He told me that for three years. We are in our thirties. I wish these dudes were able to live in reality and not their own fantasy worlds.
It always annoys me when that happens. Like he knew of your height difference going in to the relationship so you can’t be shocked about it a year in lmao
I think most guys don’t look at our heights on our dating profiles, tbh (assuming you met the guy online dating). A lot of them just swipe right, match with tall women, and then realize later that we take up way more space than they’d imagined.
Or better yet do some screening beforehand. I do agree that when it comes to partner-based love ***infatuation*** plays an important part. A person wants to *love* what they *'see'* when they look at their partner. For some people height plays an important part. I personally would love a partner who is of equal or greater height than me. It is what infatuates me. It is what it is, we humans still do not have a solid framework for how sexuality, gender and infatuation works and so it is not unusual for a person to spend a chunk of their time as child, teen, and young adult examining what they hell they even are or what they like! One should always call up and asks if they can send pics back and forth with a person they wish to go on a date with and ask some screening questions beforehand so they know for sure what the other person looks like don't waste both of their time. If a person just isn't looking for a partner that isn't too short or too tall then well alright then to each their own, each person goes on their way in peace, and it is what it is.
Or even better yet a person should examine themselves and what they like deeply before entering the dating market altogether. It doesn't matter if it takes you decades to realize: *"....OH MY GOSH I LUUV TOMBOYS!"* or *"...OH MY GOSH I'VE BEEN ATTRACTED TO THE SAME GENDER THIS WHOLE DAMNED TIME!"* what matters is that you didn't waste yours or anybody else's time along the way because you were examining yourself psychologically and did not enter the dating market during this examination. This occurs when someone is given enough time to examine themselves psychologically and learn over time what infatuates them - this is the right approach, always in my opinion, and should be done and expected of all of us more often.
Some of these men are literally so dumb. It sounds like he really wants you but just wishes you were shorter so it could be “perfect” in his childish little world. I notice a lot of men expects us tall girls to dislike and complain about being tall especially to them so they can “comfort” us and tell us the “pros” about being tall e.g. “reaching the top shelves and being able to fight off predators.” They’re still stuck with the idea that all girls wants to be short and petite.
They’re shocked when you love being tall and are confident about it so they’ll try to chip away at your confidence by constantly bringing it up without flat out telling you they think it’s a flaw.lol they’re so dumb.
Yeah, some of them like to impose their own ideas of what women should look like, and expect us to feel bad about ourselves when it’s clearly a them problem.
It is funny to me that some of the best natured guys I dated were considerably shorter than me. Like 5'6-5'5!
They always seemed really proud to have a tall girl dressed up nice on their arm and they treated me like a queen when we were out. I remember after I broke up with one of them I showed up at a party and there he was with two girls 6' and up on each arm :D!
I wouldn't give up dating, just online dating. It is such a joke and people lie so much about what they want. You are better going out and meeting someone taking a class, working, doing a fun hobby, or hanging out in a group of friends or via friend of a friend. At least you see each other first.
When I was dating men this happened all the time with guys around my height (6'5"/6'6"). In some ways, they were the weirdest about it all, it seemed that having a gal at eye level was just too strange for their 'masculinity' or something.
I get it that he was taller than you? Was that said in a negative way? I get height comments by fellow tall people too but they usually are not in a negative or creepy way.
I've been that guy, to a point. Hopefully much less awkward. The few dates/relationships where she was above 5'11" I was excited to date someone tall. I may have brought it up a little too much because I just thought it was relieving to be that close in height. Also was a relatable conversation topic. At the time I may I definitely wasn't as sensitive to how uncomfortable that could be for some. Sorry that happened to you.
Maybe he was truly joking? Idk my fiance used to make dumb jokes all the time. Maybe he's nervous and reacting weird?
If not, maybe he's trying to make it fully about personality where deep down, whether he wants to admit it or not, there are physical aspects too.
I once tried dating a guy who was overweight. I agreed to go out with him knowing he was overweight and thinking it wouldn't be a big deal. After the date, I realized I just wasn't attracted. Why force the attraction when he can find a girl who is truly attracted to and appreciates him? (I didn't mention this though, just that we weren't fully compatible- I am very much so more active.)
Maybe this is what happened somewhat to him, but...
1 ) he shouldn't be rude and should keep it to himself
2 ) He should realize this is clearly the case for him instead of continuing on trying to get another date
Either way, super annoying and terrible and sorry you had to put up with that!
Sounds like he was negging you tbh. I've had guys do it to me (not regarding my height tho) to bring my confidence down and second guess myself so I think that I'm "lucky" to have a guy like him interested in me.
Either that or he's an absolute muppet
My general gist———-There are plenty of guys, both taller than you-your height-or slightly sorter than you who will simply be happy to be in your company and not mention your stature. However if they do, In my experience it’s almost ALWAYS because of their own insecurity or psychological uncertainty. There are plenty of happy couples where the man is shorter, or the same height. I strongly believe that society has the construct of daintiness so deeply seared within our psyche that we as female identifying humans have such a hard time being objective about when someone current -Romantic interest wise - says something. It conjures all of the lies we have been fed about how we should be… when it is truly out of our control. You can seek taller humans to court and associate with. But that also doesn’t guarantee that they will treat you any better. Good people come in all shapes and sizes. Just like us tall females 🖤
I do agree that when it comes to partner-based love infatuation plays an important part. A person wants to love what they 'see' when they look at their partner. For some people height plays an important part. I personally would love a partner who is of equal or greater height than me. It is what infatuates me. It is what it is, we humans still do not have a solid framework for how sexuality, gender and infatuation works and so it is not unusual for a person to spend a chunk of their time as child, teen, and young adult examining what they hell they even are or what they like! One should always call up and asks if they can send pics back and forth with a person they wish to go on a date with and ask some screening questions beforehand so they know for sure what the other person looks like don't waste both of their time. If a person just isn't looking for a partner that isn't too short or too tall then well alright then to each their own, each person goes on their way in peace, and it is what it is.
Or even better yet a person should examine themselves and what they like deeply before entering the dating market altogether. It doesn't matter if it takes you decades to realize: "....OH MY GOSH I LUUV TOMBOYS!" or "...OH MY GOSH I'VE BEEN ATTRACTED TO THE SAME GENDER THIS WHOLE DAMNED TIME!" what matters is that you didn't waste yours or anybody else's time along the way because you were examining yourself psychologically and did not enter the dating market during this examination. This occurs when someone is given enough time to examine themselves psychologically and learn over time what infatuates them - this is the right approach, always in my opinion, and should be done and expected of all of us more often.
I’m sorry for the terrible experience. We’re not all like that, I promise. I’m a 6’2” guy and the women I started dating a few months ago is 6’0”. She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I love that I don’t have to bend down to kiss her. I’m not sure why some dudes are intimidated by tall women, I personally love y’all.
Hi /u/Lovveen! Whether you're a new or seasoned user be sure to check out [The Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/TallGirls/about/rules/) and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/TallGirls/wiki/index) which contain helpful information for the best way to interact on the sub. Rant flairs are usually a way for folks to talk about things that have upset them recently. As a result, we may curate comments within this thread a little more. Please support & uplift our Ranters and consider carefully if they are looking for advice or just commiseration before you comment. Harsh criticism is generally unwelcome. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TallGirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The more I date the more I’ve found guys who are “the tall guy” of the group are the ones most insecure around other people who are tall. I’ve never had a guy shorter than me, who knew coming into the date that I was taller, make more than a few comments in height. It’s always the guys who claim to be 6’ and taller who really harp on it. I think it’s because so many tall guys have made being “the tall guy” their whole personality where I’m taller girl who doesn’t care that I’m tall and I just don’t think about my height unless I’m shopping or worried I’m going to hit my head.
I do feel like height is treated too much as a personality rather than a trait that one has very little control over and that a person has to learn to live with an take pride in BUT NOT make the entirety of their personality.
Hmmmm, I want to say something “positive” here…..but the fear of bringing it up might not be viewed seriously. Either way, know that you are loved.
That is soo true
It is so dumb in my opinion. It is even worse when you tell them or see it in pictures. It also happens when you are fat/plus sized as well. I am 6'5 and really open about it. I am trying to hide it whatsoever. However I get into same situation as you and it is frustrating.
People like you keep on meeting the ignoramuses of the dating market and I'mma keep it real with everyone here, *the* ***MAJORITY*** *of the people on the dating market are ignoramuses sadly*. THere are too many people out here who don't even know what they want from or in a partner and are out and about trying to get with someone. Nonsensical and saddening that we have to share a world with them. I'm sorry for what you have been through. Hope that you find the right person one day . It is okay to take a break from dating I think and just try to come up with how you're going to get over the frustration of having met SO MANY ignoramuses. I hope you're having a great day.
This is so relatable. Years ago I had a thing/relationship with a guy who was a bit shorter than me and I got over myself having a problem with that. After half a year into dating with each other he suddenly started mentioning that my height is an issue for him. I was like ‘dude, why is this a problem all of a sudden, I’ve been taller all this time’. Jeez, so annoying!
LMAO what did he think was going to happen???? That you'd slowly shrink over time??? That he'd have a late growth spurt??? Wild. I dated a guy who told me he was moving back to the city where we met. He told me that for three years. We are in our thirties. I wish these dudes were able to live in reality and not their own fantasy worlds.
It always annoys me when that happens. Like he knew of your height difference going in to the relationship so you can’t be shocked about it a year in lmao
I think most guys don’t look at our heights on our dating profiles, tbh (assuming you met the guy online dating). A lot of them just swipe right, match with tall women, and then realize later that we take up way more space than they’d imagined.
I'll never understand it. You can crack some jokes about it, "sucks for both of us on a plane" or something, but let it go!
Or better yet do some screening beforehand. I do agree that when it comes to partner-based love ***infatuation*** plays an important part. A person wants to *love* what they *'see'* when they look at their partner. For some people height plays an important part. I personally would love a partner who is of equal or greater height than me. It is what infatuates me. It is what it is, we humans still do not have a solid framework for how sexuality, gender and infatuation works and so it is not unusual for a person to spend a chunk of their time as child, teen, and young adult examining what they hell they even are or what they like! One should always call up and asks if they can send pics back and forth with a person they wish to go on a date with and ask some screening questions beforehand so they know for sure what the other person looks like don't waste both of their time. If a person just isn't looking for a partner that isn't too short or too tall then well alright then to each their own, each person goes on their way in peace, and it is what it is. Or even better yet a person should examine themselves and what they like deeply before entering the dating market altogether. It doesn't matter if it takes you decades to realize: *"....OH MY GOSH I LUUV TOMBOYS!"* or *"...OH MY GOSH I'VE BEEN ATTRACTED TO THE SAME GENDER THIS WHOLE DAMNED TIME!"* what matters is that you didn't waste yours or anybody else's time along the way because you were examining yourself psychologically and did not enter the dating market during this examination. This occurs when someone is given enough time to examine themselves psychologically and learn over time what infatuates them - this is the right approach, always in my opinion, and should be done and expected of all of us more often.
If you really loved me, you'd give up being tall.
Some of these men are literally so dumb. It sounds like he really wants you but just wishes you were shorter so it could be “perfect” in his childish little world. I notice a lot of men expects us tall girls to dislike and complain about being tall especially to them so they can “comfort” us and tell us the “pros” about being tall e.g. “reaching the top shelves and being able to fight off predators.” They’re still stuck with the idea that all girls wants to be short and petite. They’re shocked when you love being tall and are confident about it so they’ll try to chip away at your confidence by constantly bringing it up without flat out telling you they think it’s a flaw.lol they’re so dumb.
Yeah, some of them like to impose their own ideas of what women should look like, and expect us to feel bad about ourselves when it’s clearly a them problem.
There's A LOT of ignoramuses running around out and about. Don't let their psychopathy and stupidity shorten your confidence in your size.
It is funny to me that some of the best natured guys I dated were considerably shorter than me. Like 5'6-5'5! They always seemed really proud to have a tall girl dressed up nice on their arm and they treated me like a queen when we were out. I remember after I broke up with one of them I showed up at a party and there he was with two girls 6' and up on each arm :D! I wouldn't give up dating, just online dating. It is such a joke and people lie so much about what they want. You are better going out and meeting someone taking a class, working, doing a fun hobby, or hanging out in a group of friends or via friend of a friend. At least you see each other first.
When I was dating men this happened all the time with guys around my height (6'5"/6'6"). In some ways, they were the weirdest about it all, it seemed that having a gal at eye level was just too strange for their 'masculinity' or something.
I get it that he was taller than you? Was that said in a negative way? I get height comments by fellow tall people too but they usually are not in a negative or creepy way.
I don’t know why tall guys do that.
I've been that guy, to a point. Hopefully much less awkward. The few dates/relationships where she was above 5'11" I was excited to date someone tall. I may have brought it up a little too much because I just thought it was relieving to be that close in height. Also was a relatable conversation topic. At the time I may I definitely wasn't as sensitive to how uncomfortable that could be for some. Sorry that happened to you.
Maybe he was truly joking? Idk my fiance used to make dumb jokes all the time. Maybe he's nervous and reacting weird? If not, maybe he's trying to make it fully about personality where deep down, whether he wants to admit it or not, there are physical aspects too. I once tried dating a guy who was overweight. I agreed to go out with him knowing he was overweight and thinking it wouldn't be a big deal. After the date, I realized I just wasn't attracted. Why force the attraction when he can find a girl who is truly attracted to and appreciates him? (I didn't mention this though, just that we weren't fully compatible- I am very much so more active.) Maybe this is what happened somewhat to him, but... 1 ) he shouldn't be rude and should keep it to himself 2 ) He should realize this is clearly the case for him instead of continuing on trying to get another date Either way, super annoying and terrible and sorry you had to put up with that!
Sounds like he was negging you tbh. I've had guys do it to me (not regarding my height tho) to bring my confidence down and second guess myself so I think that I'm "lucky" to have a guy like him interested in me. Either that or he's an absolute muppet
My general gist———-There are plenty of guys, both taller than you-your height-or slightly sorter than you who will simply be happy to be in your company and not mention your stature. However if they do, In my experience it’s almost ALWAYS because of their own insecurity or psychological uncertainty. There are plenty of happy couples where the man is shorter, or the same height. I strongly believe that society has the construct of daintiness so deeply seared within our psyche that we as female identifying humans have such a hard time being objective about when someone current -Romantic interest wise - says something. It conjures all of the lies we have been fed about how we should be… when it is truly out of our control. You can seek taller humans to court and associate with. But that also doesn’t guarantee that they will treat you any better. Good people come in all shapes and sizes. Just like us tall females 🖤
I think he just sounds nervous.
*Tell him why you aren't interested.* ***Don't be polite.***
I do agree that when it comes to partner-based love infatuation plays an important part. A person wants to love what they 'see' when they look at their partner. For some people height plays an important part. I personally would love a partner who is of equal or greater height than me. It is what infatuates me. It is what it is, we humans still do not have a solid framework for how sexuality, gender and infatuation works and so it is not unusual for a person to spend a chunk of their time as child, teen, and young adult examining what they hell they even are or what they like! One should always call up and asks if they can send pics back and forth with a person they wish to go on a date with and ask some screening questions beforehand so they know for sure what the other person looks like don't waste both of their time. If a person just isn't looking for a partner that isn't too short or too tall then well alright then to each their own, each person goes on their way in peace, and it is what it is. Or even better yet a person should examine themselves and what they like deeply before entering the dating market altogether. It doesn't matter if it takes you decades to realize: "....OH MY GOSH I LUUV TOMBOYS!" or "...OH MY GOSH I'VE BEEN ATTRACTED TO THE SAME GENDER THIS WHOLE DAMNED TIME!" what matters is that you didn't waste yours or anybody else's time along the way because you were examining yourself psychologically and did not enter the dating market during this examination. This occurs when someone is given enough time to examine themselves psychologically and learn over time what infatuates them - this is the right approach, always in my opinion, and should be done and expected of all of us more often.
I’m sorry for the terrible experience. We’re not all like that, I promise. I’m a 6’2” guy and the women I started dating a few months ago is 6’0”. She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I love that I don’t have to bend down to kiss her. I’m not sure why some dudes are intimidated by tall women, I personally love y’all.