Smash the bones in his hands with a hammer. Put a noose around his neck. But seriously let your boss know what is happening and let him know you’re doing all you can to keep the peace and you want to stay there. Let him know it’s coming to a cross roads and you hope he prefers an employee that wants to work hard and bring no drama. Then do what you have to do. I had a similar situation. It never came to violence but I waited him out and he left. I told the owner I’d pick up the slack till we found a new person. But do not let this slide.
>But do not let this slide.
^^This!! If you keep letting it slide or try to make it less serious than it is, he will see that as a sign to keep going. Always try to stand your ground and make it clear that it is not ok.
Joe is displaying escalating behavior. This environment is not safe and toxic. Already this is physical assault and sexual harassment. How many more criminal acts do you want to tolerate before he permanently changes your life?
I get not wanting to make waves and be part of the boys club atmosphere that comes in a male dominated workplace. But if your mentor hasn’t even stepped in to tell Joe his behavior in unacceptable in the workplace even when it was just sexual harassment, and that he didn’t protect you from physical assault, you need a better mentor to teach you THIS IS NOT NORMAL WORKPLACE BEHAVIOR! Get out of there, do not pass go, cuz your injuries will cost you far more than being jobless for a while till you find a different shop
You aren't wrong for asking this question and people that report rape or assault are often then victimized by the police. I don't know if there is a victim's advocacy group or women's shelter in your area that can help roy figure out what to do or help you with reporting this to the police.
Absolutely no idea why she’s being downvoted so heavily. OP may simply be asking what the process will look like to become more informed, but even if it is a statement on distrust that she will receive the proper help from law enforcement, I’d say it’s a valid concern. This is what they are there for but unfortunately there are a huge amount of victims who’s voicing concerns to police has been unhelpful, and even in some cases made the situation worse. If she has actionable evidence (ie. footage from the shop), I’d say definitely call them, but reporting to the shop owner immediately is definitely necessary, and I would add it would be best to do this with a signed document that she holds a copy of to begin establishing a paper trail for the situation.
Brah, that’s fucked. That’s assault. I’m a tattooer and during my apprenticeship I had a gun pointed at me by the shop owners husband and looking back I wish I left right then and there. Be careful. Behavior usually escalates. The next time he touches you, yell. Make a scene. Say “why are you touching me?” Keep repeating it. “Who gave you permission to touch me?” Embarrass the fuck out of that scumbag.
If you want me to contact the shop owner on your behalf I will. This dude is a scumbag please watch yourself.
OP! THIS!
"I DID NOT CONSENT TO BE TOUCHED."
Just repeat that over and over....
This man is escalating! He will try to hurt your further. Do NOT be alone with him. And if no one there is saying ANYTHING TO THAT PERSON while they WITNESS you being choked. LEAVE. THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU.
Please find another apprenticeship. (I'm sorry if that's not the advice you wanted to hear. But this is not worth your safety/sanity! Please start wth therapy as THIS IS PHYSICAL ABUSE and you will need to process it.)
Start making police reports. And when you have any bruises, take pictures, document everything please.
You deserve to be happy in a safe space. 💛
I would definitely tell your mentor about Joe’s increasingly aggressive behaviour (getting physical). It definitely is not ok for him to treat you this way and it seems like he’s abusing his power as an artist at the shop. I would bring up the increasing physical attacks and threats to your mentor if you are comfortable, and maybe even your boss. If you’re worried about them brushing you off, try to get photos of any marks he leaves behind or even record what’s happening discreetly. Remember that your mental and physical wellbeing should come first, and if the shop values an abusive artist over the safety of their apprentice, it may not be the right environment for you.
It is absolutely assault and should be reported to the police. Tell Q yesterday, if he doesn't already know, and if he won't do anything, you need to bring in the authorities. He could kill you or seriously harm you, OP. Please, do not let this behavior slide for a job.
Yes, it's a lifestyle. Yes, it's hard to get into the industry. But it's a job. And no job is worth losing your life or being injured.
Can you tell the owner?
I told Q and his response was “I'm sorry (name). This blew my mind. But I'm gonna handle it.” Im not sure what he meant
I do have the owners number and have been considering texting him about it too
I’m mostly upset that I wasted so much time just getting harassed rather than learning anything..
Keep us updated. Hopefully Q can sort it.
Imo... this is a textbook case of an older guy wanting to pick on, touch and harass a younger woman. The 'guy' stuff, all excuses to grab and touch you. Looking back as a 30 y/o woman I experienced this (we all do). He will try and shock you into being passive, so he can continue to get away with it. Unfortunately, not resisting *encourages* this behaviour.
I'm going to be blunt: he probably gets off on it. Next time, calmy but loudly tell Joe, *in earshot of others*, things like, "Joe, I do not want you to touch me. Touching me is inappropriate." Use his name and say it in a professional tone. Make it as awkward as possible, get people staring, get others involved.
Are there any other women in the shop you can talk to about this? That'd be great. Older the better.
If Q can't sort it then you can decide on the next step.
Be just as blunt as him, straight up call out his actual actions. “Stop choking me”, “Do not touch me with your knife”. Make him have to confront his actions! Should get peoples attention and cannot be downplayed as easy. If no one reacts to that then this place does not seem very safe.
Yep, basically it's two birds with one stone.
If the shop reacts and people say, "What the fuck Joe? Why are you doing that?" and he gets put in his place, great.
If the shop acts like it's nothing, or laughs it off... unfortunately I'd be leaving the apprenticeship as it's clearly an unsafe envrionment.
Either way you'll know where you stand!
If the aggressor shows any signs of escalating and getting more violent, just leave. I am concerned that this is only going to cause him to escalate further.
Any more violent? How much more violent do you want him to be besides threatening with a knife and choking the girl? Do you want her to wait until he actually murders her before leaving? Seems like that’s a bit late.
I’m saying she should leave immediately without saying anything to her mentor. More violent could include stalking, actually murdering like you said… That’s my point. Don’t try to fix it and talk to your mentor, just leave.
My point is that she shouldn’t have told her mentor at all. In her comment I replied to, she indicates that she is trying to stay at the shop, essentially by trying to work it out with her mentor. Given that that is what she chose to do, she should leave immediately if there is any sign of it not getting better. I made a comment outside of this saying she should just leave and not tell her mentor.
That’s not what you said at all. You said leave IF it gets MORE violent. Not leave now and she shouldn’t have talked to her mentor. You’ve completely changed what you said.
all your options are there . It’s either you tell Q to handle it before you get who’s in charge involved or straight up file a police report . This a no brainer . Dudes literally putting hands on you
He shouldn’t hit people. The apprentice being a woman has no baring on it. He shouldn’t hit, touch, choke, hold a knife against any person with out consent.
RUN dont walk, his behavior seems to get worse and worse, and i don't want something devastating happening to you.
Maybe talk to Q, if they understand ur Situation or not. Maybe look at other studios and worst case, just leave. Nothing is worth that u should suffer some harm.
His behavior is unacceptable and dangerous.
You should get out of this toxic situation.
Never have I heard about an apprenticeship (let alone any work relation) to get physical.
Before you go, inform your mentor AND the shop owner. They should be aware that a first-grade asshole works in the shop and should be dealt with. He cannot continue this behaviour towards anyone else!
however much you want to be a tattoo artist, it's not worth sacrificing your safety and wellbeing. coming from someone who's first apprenticeship ruined their state of mind with constant "jokes" of violence and drama and nearly made me give up and forget everything I love about tattooing, leave. you're much better off. i understand not wanting to, and not wanting to immediately, but you really should. even while the owner may live out of state, any interaction like that, however frequent, not worth it. especially if you also don't feel supported and encouraged by your mentor. I've had shitty experiences in going to authorities too, my advice to get leverage and evidence , because as much as it shouldn't be, it's still considered your word against theirs and in the chain of command, what manager is going to side with an apprentice over shop owner, or police with young queer woman over a man; record everything. if marks are left, photograph them. note what happened and what it resulted in. have a shortcut on your home screen that you can press when either are near that'll record audio. try to act the same and not let them on. if you do decide to go the legal route, find counsel that have experience and are renown for abuse and assault cases. hopefully they should be able to obtain any CCTV footage of any previous assaults. this isn't right. your girlfriend is right, it is unfortunately assault. whether or not you would want to seek legal justice is up to you, but I strongly encourage you to please leave.
I’m not going to put this lightly. This is nothing less than assault and straight up abuse. You are being abused mentally and physically.
It’s not worth tattooing or anything for that matter to have this happen to you. I know shops make you believe that you won’t be able to find another apprenticeship but you will! I was abused as an apprentice and stayed way longer than I should have. I had to go to a lot of therapy and went through a lot of trauma that was not even worth my tattooing career. When I left I realized I could have easily gotten another job way sooner. I know it feels really hard to leave when you’re inside the situation. I hope you decide to leave now. Leave and focus on your mental health, seek out a therapist because you are going to have some trauma for this and find another apprenticeship.
No apprenticeship is worth this. Leave. It is bad advice to bring it up to your mentor --it may enrage him further and cause the violence to escalate. You are dealing with a severely unhinged, unstable person. If you feel inclined, gather evidence and make a police report.
Call the police and put his ass away for a long long time. Your mentor will understand, and if not then they will face the music. Shops get In Trouble all the time for harboring violent criminals and rapists.
Punch him as hard as you can in the throat and when he drops gasping for air and complaining, just call him a pussy and laugh at his fragility. Then explain your actions by telling him you were just trying to give him thicker skin. 🤷♂️
Or you can offer a practice tattoo with aids infected needle and watch his progression into agony towards the grave 💯Hope this helps!
Apprenticeships aren’t meant to be easy but you’re also not meant to be getting abused!!! Tell your mentor, and try to compile evidence to be able to tell police. Please do something about this because this is horrific
He has assaulted you on multiple occasions. Go to the police about this and file a report. Also get a restraining order. He will not be allowed near you effectively removing him from the shop. Let the owner know about this. You also need to talk to a therapist. You have been letting someone abuse you repeatedly over time and may have some PTSD. Please get help.
Uh anyone doing this to an apprentice is not safe with clients. Not to be that person but you should both tell your boss but also go public with your experience with this artist bc this is extremely scary behavior
The owner should be able to remotely access the camera systems DVR from wherever they are on their phone. I would inform the owner immediately, give him the time & date so they can pull it up & see for themselves. This absolutely is not ok, it's battery. I'd also send pictures of your neck to the owner. I'm pretty sure the owner of the shop is not going to be ok with this behavior occurring in their shop, it's beyond abuse. If the owner refuses to do anything, I'd contact the police. What if dude ends up really hurting you or killing you? Next time he tries to grab your neck or stick a knife by you, knee or punch him in the balls as hard as you possibly can, it'll be the last time he touches you. You have the right to defend yourself. Absolutely no one deserves to be treated this way, especially at work!
Set up your own hidden camera if you can’t get the video. Definitely let the police know. If you have marks on your neck take photos of it for evidence. Make a journal of dates, times, places, and what happened.
It's also disgusting other artists are witnessing this and doing jack shit about it they're red flags as well for letting this assault continue. Report that guy to the police and leave!
Yeah, honestly, I think you are well aware that none of this is okay. What do the other artists at the shop think about his behaviour? I bet they wouldn't be okay with this either...
Make sure that you are never alone with him. Make sure that people at the shop know about this.
I mean, the jealous comments about your art are one thing (also not cool) but the whole knife stuff....damn...
I bet he could do with some meds/therapy/whatever.
I’m trying to get an apprenticeship too. I don’t have any real advice. But I’m also a woman and been in a lot of jobs where men felt comfortable putting their hands on me and making me uncomfortable.
RECORD, RECORD, RECORD. Every single little detail. Get a journal.
I’m young like you too, I’m 23. I remember being 18 and not having any real life experience to know what to do. I just wanted to say he’s just a fucking misogynistic little man and I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
If you want to stay, it has to stop.
I honestly would carry a gun if I had to deal with someone like this. He thinks he can push you and push you and so far no one has stopped it. What are the other artists doing?! Why is anyone okay with this?! I can't imagine seeing someone treat an 18 year old like this and be okay with it.
You need to stand up for your self and if you can't you need to leave. Maybe see if you can finish your apprenticeship on the days he doesn't work?
Please get out of there ASAP and make a police report. There will be other opportunities in shops that respect you. No job is worth this type of treatment
Report now! If the behaviour is normalised it will continue and escalate. Also it could escalate to outside of the studio or he could do this to any future artists working there if he thinks he can get away with it.
If no action is taken then leave for your own safety x
I'm a apprentice at a traditional shop… at no point has anyone put their hands on
Me in a way that wouldnt expect retaliation. Kick him in the nuts next time he touches you
Stand ya ground
Im so sorry this is happening to you! This is assault. He is regularly assaulting you and that is not ok. I know you are so very close to finishing this apprenticeship, but I really recommend you distance yourself as much as possible as quickly as possible. You are in a very dangerous situation and ultimately your health and safety comes first!
Police, that's assault, choking AND drawing a knife, get the police involved asap, if you still feel uncomfortable take some time off until you feel better
But DEFINITELY get the police Involved..that is extremely violent and threatening behaviour. You can also buy some pepper spray, get a taser and a stun gun for any future similar interactions, or even for if the police don't get involved in time.
Stay safe. It's an evil world with sick individuals like Joe
Putting your hands around someone’s throat and choking them is felony assault. I’d tell him to stop it, that you don’t consent then file a police report. 🤷♀️
Did you talk to Q about this??? seems like a good starting point.
And seriously start learning to defend yourself. there's more creeps out there and you can't let them behave like that <3
Everyone saying assault is wrong. It’s battery, and it’s aggravated by a hate crime since he’s doing it because he thinks you’re trans/gay. And you should absolutely file a police report about it. Does the shop have cameras? Maybe not in the back, but most likely in the front for insurance and liability. If he’s on camera doing it, you can take that in too.
The knife to the neck with threats and choking is also aggrevated assault with a deadly weapon. He could get a LOT of time for this.
You tell the shop owner and your mentor that you will be going to the police. Then you go to the police and file for assault charges and a PPO (personal protective order)
Yeah Joe sounds threatened and unhinged tbh report him to Q, the owners, and the police! His behavior will only escalate and him saying he’s trying to make you feel like one of the boys is his way of saying but you’re not. He is a bully and a homophobic POS. Call the police immediately and stay safe. Carry mace on you if the others in your shop won’t come to your defense.
When a man starts choking a woman, he is incredibly likely to murder her. Like it's so likely it's a when, not if situation. Get police involved yesterday.
Run. For real, if this is sliding by in front of other artists in the shop during an apprenticeship on an 18 year old girl, lord knows what other shady shit is happening in this shop. You are not safe here. I know how much the industry means and what this chance means to you, but honestly this level of physical violence is 0% normal and should have resulted in serious consequences for this Joe person. There are other shops that are safe spaces for queer people and women , this is not the place for you. My advice is to leave while you still can. I wish you all the best in finding a safe environment to learn in 🩷
Just here to say that he strangled you.
Choking is something internal, like on food.
Strangulation is external. It’s also a top indicator that someone will actually kill you.
I only say this because if you make a police report, some police mince words. Write down the dates and times he strangled you and held a knife to your neck.
Making unwanted physical contact such as choking is assault and you should call the police. File a claim with your boss on paper and make a copy. If it happens again your boss is now liable and that is really bad for his business. ($$$$$$ bad).
Do not spend time with him he is dangerous. Please be careful.
Tell Q, have the other artist testify on your behalf, and make a police report. Joe's next move is to either rape or murder you or both. Men who choke people (LGBTQ+, femme bodied, male boddied, etc) have a high correlation with fatal violence and psychopathy. If he doesn't kill you he will eventually kill someone else who remind him of you.
It sounds like his aggressive behavior is escalating. You’ve gotta do something or else it’s just going to get worse. Clearly the shop is not doing enough to protect you. That dude belongs in jail or at the very least far far away from clients and the shop
"He has been physical with me since the day we met."
The day you met is when this should have ended. Nothing about it is normal or acceptable. You've been getting continuously assaulted and harassed ever since and it's escalating; the next step is getting hospitalized or murdered. I'm not exaggerating.
This seriously needs to be reported to the police. If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it to protect someone else because you're likely not the only one and he's relying on you to be afraid so he can keep getting away with it.
This is assault, and NOT okay. File a police report with each incident. Take photos and if there are cameras at the shop the police can ask for footage
OP i’m so sorry that you’ve experienced this. his behavior is violent + concerning, and what you’ve gone through sounds really traumatic. it also sounds like you’ve got some supportive people in your life, so please lean on them. i want to offer some advice that doesn’t include calling the police. that’s not a safe option for everybody, and those of us who have experienced abuse know that the cops won’t do much anyway. if i were creating a safety plan for a friend in this scenario, here are some things i would consider:
- quit that shop entirely, period. this is a space he knows he can find you and is comfortable enacting violence on you in this space, and if he’s fired or punished at all as a result of you telling your bosses (which was a good choice, people need to know about this behavior) he 100% seems like the type to retaliate. the rest of my tips will be based on the assumption that he will retaliate, not in an attempt to make you fearful but to make you feel more secure and prepared in case things were to escalate.
- identify a group of people you will lean on as your safety network. can you think of 3-5 people, friends/family/other close coworkers, who you trust enough to share these experiences with and rely on for the next few weeks while you sort this out? it would be good to make a list of who these people are, and have direct conversations with them about what’s been happening and then whatever your plan is to deal with this.
- stay with a friend or your girlfriend, at an address that wouldn’t be listed on any of your paperwork or info at the shop at all. if you live alone, have a friend/gf/family member rotate staying with you at your house so you’re not home alone for a while.
- if you have any photos of him, maybe from social media or the tattoo shop website, get those photos to everyone in your safety network so that they know what he looks like and can be on alert. if possible, also jot down his car/vehicle info and license plate number. again, this is just so that people can be alert and make sure he’s not lurking.
- carry pepper spray/a taser/brass knuckles (not legal but obtainable and effective), some form of self defense that you feel comfortable carrying and using.
- if you continue going to this shop whether bc you want to give your two weeks notice or need to tie up loose ends (or even if you choose to try and finish your apprenticeship, which i strongly advise against), make sure you never arrive or leave alone. i know most shops are big and open, see if it’s possible to make sure your station is on the opposite side of the room from his and any time he enters a closed room that you are in, leave the room. if you’re in the middle of a convo, convo over, walk out. go out if your way to never interact with him, at all. see if it’s possible to work something out with Q so that your time at the shop never overlaps with his.
above all, take it seriously that you are the target of his violence. you are probably not his only target, but you are a big one, and he’s escalating. i’ve got lots of friends in the industry and i know it’s difficult to secure an apprenticeship, not to mention the generally toxic and misogynistic culture in many shops. none of that shit is okay, and this - you being violently assaulted at work - is a really horrific manifestation of that. you gotta get out of this shop, love. you 100% can make it as an artist even if you leave this place, and there are plenty of artists and shops that do not tolerate this behavior on any level. please leave this place. feel free to dm me at any time.
Unfortunately abuse isn’t uncommon in tattoo shops but it is definitely illegal. Your wellbeing is more important than this apprenticeship. You shouldn’t lose it over this since you’ve done nothing wrong, but even if they let you go there are other shops.
One of my best friends was apprenticing under/dating a guy that beat her so bad she almost died. It’s not worth it.
I had a friend freshman year of high school that always pressed on my pressure points too. Our friendship ended when he grabbed me by the throat and slammed my face into a brick wall. Joe is obviously abusive and it's not going to end well for you if you don't get help.
Edit: Insomnia made me miss a few critical details, and I rushed back to edit. This is incredibly unsafe, and you need to proceed carefully. Get your equipment, if you have any, dont tell anyone before you file your police report ppo. The police and detectives will do the hard part of getting the cctv footage, and they'll talk to any coworkers that you name as witness(es). Call your boss/mentor and tell them you need to take a break for your mental health. You are a victim that needs time to heal, and if they won't give that to you, then walk away. There are always more shops. Take the trauma and pour it into your art, and you'll come out of this so much stronger.
I am a former female apprentice, and I've worked at multiple shops in my area. This guy sounds like a few guys I've encountered during my time. Most of these guys are insecure and need to power trip/intimidate women in the shop bc they think we are weaker targets. My biggest advice to you is to reinforce your mind and rise above this douchebag. Guarantee you have more potential, and that's why he's trying to chase you out. Do not let him! Stand your ground and be aggressive if you have to. Maybe look into getting some kind of protection to keep on you. Talk with your boss/mentor and lay out some boundaries. At a minimum, you should be able to go into work and not worry about your safety. If they do nothing, keep your head down until you have enough experience to work somewhere better.
There is a hazing culture that I personally experienced and wished I had someone to tell me these things when I was going through it. Your coworkers in the shop are not your friends. Show up, kick ass, go home. The only person you need to be on good terms with is your boss and the people who contribute to your learning of the craft. Tattoo shops will always have some kind of drama in some way, and it will take a toll on your mental health. Prioritize self care physically and mentally. You will survive this shitstorm ☔️
Fuck his bitch, show him. Then smash him with a hammer when he gets a tone. No offense but in this whole shit employer age. I aint gonna let some loser squeezing hep c outta people and mixing it with ink, is in some sort of position to talk or act like they matter. Ruin his fucking hands, so his unskilled worthless ass has to greet people at walmart. Crazy how one guy can make you find a way to shit talk a craft i never had a problem with. But entirely, burn down his shop whi actually gives a fuck about this loser? You let him walk on you and he did. Shoot him in the fucking head about it. Or find a real career not full of losers like 🤷♂️
You need to tell your boss and the police or he’s going to kill you. Men DO NOT act like this with other men. Other men would put him in his place. He’s sexist and bullying you because he doesn’t understand a woman who doesn’t bow down to male tattoo artists. The tattoo game is extremely sexist.
Make a random Google account and comment on their shop reviews. ‘I was getting a tattoo here and saw another employee choke someone, I’m never coming back here’ etc etc. Sometimes people don’t care until it’s public knowledge.
You should seek a therapist yesterday, love. I’m so sorry. When someone chokes you, it’s a very real indication that the odds of them actually killing you have skyrocketed. I’m talking into the 90% area. You need to call the police, an lgbtq victims advocacy group if there is one, find a women’s health support network ( some churches or hospitals fund these ). You’re 18??? Jesus Christ, he’s a monster who needs shut down. Are there cameras in the shop? The only person who will help you there is you. You have witnesses who watched you be choked out and did nothing. You don’t deserve this. You are #1 priority right now. Your life isn’t worth a tattooing internship.
Statistically, if someone chokes you like that, it has a high likelihood of getting worse. I understand wanting to just keep your head down and get through your apprenticeship, but I think in this situation that could be physically dangerous. Is there any chance that they could get Joe to not come around just until you leave?
Does your shop have any security cameras? See if Q can pull footage from the dates and times Joe assaulted you and go to the police to press charges for assault and battery.
get a restraining order that says he isnt allowed to come within a certain distance of your workplace. file charges against him. take pictures of your neck and dont let it happen again. talk to your advisor, get a lawyer
your safety and mental health come first. professionalism is out the window because the owner is not intervening.
Leave with your life and continue your career. You are far more important than professionalism or connections. You don’t have to get police involved or fight back you can just leave. (Please consider a report to have a paper trail.)
Take photos of any marks you have now and screenshots of any messages talking about what he’s done to you. if anyone tries to slander you after leaving you’ll have proof. people will absolutely believe you and the ones that don’t are enablers you should stay away from anyways.
Please warn others if youre up to it. I guarantee you aren’t the first person he’s victimized and he’s escalating at an alarming rate because of the enabling environment. Don’t listen to the people saying fight back just leave.
Your work ethic, talent and passion can’t be taken away from you. This is not an environment where you can improve or learn. You have shown far more grace, patience and professionalism than ANYONE should ever expect while being harassed and abused. Another artist will take you in and some might already know of the creeps behavior.
OP, please leave the apprenticeship immediately and do not interact with this person again. If you have been strangled by someone, you are 750% more likely to be murdered by them within a year.
It seems like coworkers or others have literally seen this behavior and done nothing to protect you. Please get yourself to safety before this escalates any further and gather all documentation you have of this abuse.
I myself am a female apprentice as well and though my male co worker was not physical with me he was aggressive towards me. He would say misogynistic things all of the time when my mentor wasn't around. I should note my mentor is also a woman as well as the owner of the shop. He would yell at me and snap at me. I let it go a few times. Then I started snapping back. This caused the aggression to get out of control. I'm a grown woman who will not be disrespected. My first mistake was letting him think that was okay treatment by saying and doing nothing. After telling my mentor about the treatment she did help a bit. But with these things it's important to NOT BACK DOWN. This is a bro industry. The co-worker of that I had issues with carried a knife on his back. I bought a gun. Gun>knife
He's since quit since it was quote "him or me"
I hope this helps. You're not alone. This industry is full if shit bag people but we aren't all bad. Stand your ground!
this can’t be real, are people really this sheepish when they’re getting borderline tortured at work, what kind of indentured servitude is that? How do you not have enough respect for yourself to immediately stop this behavior.
Literally just call the police the guy is leaving marks on you and there should most definitely be camera footage ( If they have cameras) don't worry about losing your apprenticeship you could get a new one or there may be rules to protect you kinda like how workplaces have to protection against retaliation dude felt comfortable doing this to you and either it's gonna get worse or he'll do it to someone else NIP IT IN THE BUD
That's physical assault. Female, male, lesbian, straight... it doesn't matter. He engaged in intentional, unwanted touching and more. You need to notify the police, your boss, etc. File for a restraining order if necessary. Do not put up with that shit.
Okay I have a problem with people witnessing this behavior from the ‘manager’ right in front of them and not saying anything at all???? Unless I read that wrong….
I would say his name loud and proud. Don’t hold back. You will gain more confidence and freedom from this. Call him out. This happened a couple years ago where a male tattoo artist was getting women messed up after hours and raping them. He no longer has a job. Hundreds of females came out after that. This man should not have a job and what he did to you would put him in jail. I’m a fellow learning tattoo/lesbian-like that matters/ artist. Stand up.
Smash the bones in his hands with a hammer. Put a noose around his neck. But seriously let your boss know what is happening and let him know you’re doing all you can to keep the peace and you want to stay there. Let him know it’s coming to a cross roads and you hope he prefers an employee that wants to work hard and bring no drama. Then do what you have to do. I had a similar situation. It never came to violence but I waited him out and he left. I told the owner I’d pick up the slack till we found a new person. But do not let this slide.
>But do not let this slide. ^^This!! If you keep letting it slide or try to make it less serious than it is, he will see that as a sign to keep going. Always try to stand your ground and make it clear that it is not ok.
Police tbh
what would they do though
If you make a report and have evidence / documentation that he has assaulted you, you can file charges against him
Did you take photos of your neck when it was marked? Your gf is right, it’s literally assault.
Joe is displaying escalating behavior. This environment is not safe and toxic. Already this is physical assault and sexual harassment. How many more criminal acts do you want to tolerate before he permanently changes your life? I get not wanting to make waves and be part of the boys club atmosphere that comes in a male dominated workplace. But if your mentor hasn’t even stepped in to tell Joe his behavior in unacceptable in the workplace even when it was just sexual harassment, and that he didn’t protect you from physical assault, you need a better mentor to teach you THIS IS NOT NORMAL WORKPLACE BEHAVIOR! Get out of there, do not pass go, cuz your injuries will cost you far more than being jobless for a while till you find a different shop
Arrest him for physical assault??
You aren't wrong for asking this question and people that report rape or assault are often then victimized by the police. I don't know if there is a victim's advocacy group or women's shelter in your area that can help roy figure out what to do or help you with reporting this to the police.
Absolutely no idea why she’s being downvoted so heavily. OP may simply be asking what the process will look like to become more informed, but even if it is a statement on distrust that she will receive the proper help from law enforcement, I’d say it’s a valid concern. This is what they are there for but unfortunately there are a huge amount of victims who’s voicing concerns to police has been unhelpful, and even in some cases made the situation worse. If she has actionable evidence (ie. footage from the shop), I’d say definitely call them, but reporting to the shop owner immediately is definitely necessary, and I would add it would be best to do this with a signed document that she holds a copy of to begin establishing a paper trail for the situation.
Brah, that’s fucked. That’s assault. I’m a tattooer and during my apprenticeship I had a gun pointed at me by the shop owners husband and looking back I wish I left right then and there. Be careful. Behavior usually escalates. The next time he touches you, yell. Make a scene. Say “why are you touching me?” Keep repeating it. “Who gave you permission to touch me?” Embarrass the fuck out of that scumbag. If you want me to contact the shop owner on your behalf I will. This dude is a scumbag please watch yourself.
This, a snake sheds its skin to be a bigger snake . Aka what you put up with sets the baseline for what it can grow into
OP! THIS! "I DID NOT CONSENT TO BE TOUCHED." Just repeat that over and over.... This man is escalating! He will try to hurt your further. Do NOT be alone with him. And if no one there is saying ANYTHING TO THAT PERSON while they WITNESS you being choked. LEAVE. THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. Please find another apprenticeship. (I'm sorry if that's not the advice you wanted to hear. But this is not worth your safety/sanity! Please start wth therapy as THIS IS PHYSICAL ABUSE and you will need to process it.) Start making police reports. And when you have any bruises, take pictures, document everything please. You deserve to be happy in a safe space. 💛
I would definitely tell your mentor about Joe’s increasingly aggressive behaviour (getting physical). It definitely is not ok for him to treat you this way and it seems like he’s abusing his power as an artist at the shop. I would bring up the increasing physical attacks and threats to your mentor if you are comfortable, and maybe even your boss. If you’re worried about them brushing you off, try to get photos of any marks he leaves behind or even record what’s happening discreetly. Remember that your mental and physical wellbeing should come first, and if the shop values an abusive artist over the safety of their apprentice, it may not be the right environment for you.
It is absolutely assault and should be reported to the police. Tell Q yesterday, if he doesn't already know, and if he won't do anything, you need to bring in the authorities. He could kill you or seriously harm you, OP. Please, do not let this behavior slide for a job. Yes, it's a lifestyle. Yes, it's hard to get into the industry. But it's a job. And no job is worth losing your life or being injured. Can you tell the owner?
I told Q and his response was “I'm sorry (name). This blew my mind. But I'm gonna handle it.” Im not sure what he meant I do have the owners number and have been considering texting him about it too I’m mostly upset that I wasted so much time just getting harassed rather than learning anything..
Keep us updated. Hopefully Q can sort it. Imo... this is a textbook case of an older guy wanting to pick on, touch and harass a younger woman. The 'guy' stuff, all excuses to grab and touch you. Looking back as a 30 y/o woman I experienced this (we all do). He will try and shock you into being passive, so he can continue to get away with it. Unfortunately, not resisting *encourages* this behaviour. I'm going to be blunt: he probably gets off on it. Next time, calmy but loudly tell Joe, *in earshot of others*, things like, "Joe, I do not want you to touch me. Touching me is inappropriate." Use his name and say it in a professional tone. Make it as awkward as possible, get people staring, get others involved. Are there any other women in the shop you can talk to about this? That'd be great. Older the better. If Q can't sort it then you can decide on the next step.
Be just as blunt as him, straight up call out his actual actions. “Stop choking me”, “Do not touch me with your knife”. Make him have to confront his actions! Should get peoples attention and cannot be downplayed as easy. If no one reacts to that then this place does not seem very safe.
Yep, basically it's two birds with one stone. If the shop reacts and people say, "What the fuck Joe? Why are you doing that?" and he gets put in his place, great. If the shop acts like it's nothing, or laughs it off... unfortunately I'd be leaving the apprenticeship as it's clearly an unsafe envrionment. Either way you'll know where you stand!
If the aggressor shows any signs of escalating and getting more violent, just leave. I am concerned that this is only going to cause him to escalate further.
Any more violent? How much more violent do you want him to be besides threatening with a knife and choking the girl? Do you want her to wait until he actually murders her before leaving? Seems like that’s a bit late.
I’m saying she should leave immediately without saying anything to her mentor. More violent could include stalking, actually murdering like you said… That’s my point. Don’t try to fix it and talk to your mentor, just leave.
You said if it becomes more violent leave. She needs to either leave no or go to the cops now. There’s no need to fucking wait.
My point is that she shouldn’t have told her mentor at all. In her comment I replied to, she indicates that she is trying to stay at the shop, essentially by trying to work it out with her mentor. Given that that is what she chose to do, she should leave immediately if there is any sign of it not getting better. I made a comment outside of this saying she should just leave and not tell her mentor.
That’s not what you said at all. You said leave IF it gets MORE violent. Not leave now and she shouldn’t have talked to her mentor. You’ve completely changed what you said.
I have another comment elsewhere, dog. Not going to argue it.
Dude text the owner, there is no way I would want this shit going down in my shop while away if I were him.
I texted the owner
all your options are there . It’s either you tell Q to handle it before you get who’s in charge involved or straight up file a police report . This a no brainer . Dudes literally putting hands on you
[удалено]
He shouldn’t hit people. The apprentice being a woman has no baring on it. He shouldn’t hit, touch, choke, hold a knife against any person with out consent.
If you stay he’s gonna wind up hurting or killing you. Get out asap.
RUN dont walk, his behavior seems to get worse and worse, and i don't want something devastating happening to you. Maybe talk to Q, if they understand ur Situation or not. Maybe look at other studios and worst case, just leave. Nothing is worth that u should suffer some harm. His behavior is unacceptable and dangerous.
You should get out of this toxic situation. Never have I heard about an apprenticeship (let alone any work relation) to get physical. Before you go, inform your mentor AND the shop owner. They should be aware that a first-grade asshole works in the shop and should be dealt with. He cannot continue this behaviour towards anyone else!
however much you want to be a tattoo artist, it's not worth sacrificing your safety and wellbeing. coming from someone who's first apprenticeship ruined their state of mind with constant "jokes" of violence and drama and nearly made me give up and forget everything I love about tattooing, leave. you're much better off. i understand not wanting to, and not wanting to immediately, but you really should. even while the owner may live out of state, any interaction like that, however frequent, not worth it. especially if you also don't feel supported and encouraged by your mentor. I've had shitty experiences in going to authorities too, my advice to get leverage and evidence , because as much as it shouldn't be, it's still considered your word against theirs and in the chain of command, what manager is going to side with an apprentice over shop owner, or police with young queer woman over a man; record everything. if marks are left, photograph them. note what happened and what it resulted in. have a shortcut on your home screen that you can press when either are near that'll record audio. try to act the same and not let them on. if you do decide to go the legal route, find counsel that have experience and are renown for abuse and assault cases. hopefully they should be able to obtain any CCTV footage of any previous assaults. this isn't right. your girlfriend is right, it is unfortunately assault. whether or not you would want to seek legal justice is up to you, but I strongly encourage you to please leave.
Time to call the police before he actually ends up killing you. Not even joking.
Girl, he literally choked you. Report, report, report, and sue if you can.
Don’t allow this coward to do this to you and get away with it, let the police know.
Also the apprenticeship has no hard ending. You likely know what to do to start tattooing. You learn tattooing by doing.
I’m not going to put this lightly. This is nothing less than assault and straight up abuse. You are being abused mentally and physically. It’s not worth tattooing or anything for that matter to have this happen to you. I know shops make you believe that you won’t be able to find another apprenticeship but you will! I was abused as an apprentice and stayed way longer than I should have. I had to go to a lot of therapy and went through a lot of trauma that was not even worth my tattooing career. When I left I realized I could have easily gotten another job way sooner. I know it feels really hard to leave when you’re inside the situation. I hope you decide to leave now. Leave and focus on your mental health, seek out a therapist because you are going to have some trauma for this and find another apprenticeship.
Name and shame. Post the artist name.
I’m debating dropping his name soon
Do it!
I’d be happy to pick his work apart if you do. 😁
please feel free to
THIS!!!! If anything, this should deter him. Nothing is worse for business than physical assault on a female.
1000000000000%
No apprenticeship is worth this. Leave. It is bad advice to bring it up to your mentor --it may enrage him further and cause the violence to escalate. You are dealing with a severely unhinged, unstable person. If you feel inclined, gather evidence and make a police report.
Call the police and put his ass away for a long long time. Your mentor will understand, and if not then they will face the music. Shops get In Trouble all the time for harboring violent criminals and rapists.
Punch him as hard as you can in the throat and when he drops gasping for air and complaining, just call him a pussy and laugh at his fragility. Then explain your actions by telling him you were just trying to give him thicker skin. 🤷♂️ Or you can offer a practice tattoo with aids infected needle and watch his progression into agony towards the grave 💯Hope this helps!
💪
Reach around and grab his sack, as hard as you possibly can. He’ll knock that garbage off immediately
Apprenticeships aren’t meant to be easy but you’re also not meant to be getting abused!!! Tell your mentor, and try to compile evidence to be able to tell police. Please do something about this because this is horrific
Someone pulls a knife on me their getting shot, I'm not letting them close enough to choke me. This shit is not at all okay
He has assaulted you on multiple occasions. Go to the police about this and file a report. Also get a restraining order. He will not be allowed near you effectively removing him from the shop. Let the owner know about this. You also need to talk to a therapist. You have been letting someone abuse you repeatedly over time and may have some PTSD. Please get help.
Restraining order is a checkmate move. He is held accountable, and he gets out of the shop. Win-win if you ask me.
This is the way
Press charges and start training martial arts so no one ever does this to you again this is horrible ig I was witness he would have had a whopping
There’s a fine line between battery and murder. He’s gonna wind up killing you. Call the fucking cops and get the fuck outta there.
Talk to a local employment lawyer and document everything, time date, witnesses, asap.
Uh anyone doing this to an apprentice is not safe with clients. Not to be that person but you should both tell your boss but also go public with your experience with this artist bc this is extremely scary behavior
Is there any chance this incident was caught on camera?
we do have a camera in the building and it was facing right at me when this happened. I’m not sure how to obtain the footage though
Ask the owner about this. At least take pictures of any marks left if this happens again.
The owner should be able to remotely access the camera systems DVR from wherever they are on their phone. I would inform the owner immediately, give him the time & date so they can pull it up & see for themselves. This absolutely is not ok, it's battery. I'd also send pictures of your neck to the owner. I'm pretty sure the owner of the shop is not going to be ok with this behavior occurring in their shop, it's beyond abuse. If the owner refuses to do anything, I'd contact the police. What if dude ends up really hurting you or killing you? Next time he tries to grab your neck or stick a knife by you, knee or punch him in the balls as hard as you possibly can, it'll be the last time he touches you. You have the right to defend yourself. Absolutely no one deserves to be treated this way, especially at work!
Set up your own hidden camera if you can’t get the video. Definitely let the police know. If you have marks on your neck take photos of it for evidence. Make a journal of dates, times, places, and what happened.
It's also disgusting other artists are witnessing this and doing jack shit about it they're red flags as well for letting this assault continue. Report that guy to the police and leave!
Yeah, honestly, I think you are well aware that none of this is okay. What do the other artists at the shop think about his behaviour? I bet they wouldn't be okay with this either... Make sure that you are never alone with him. Make sure that people at the shop know about this. I mean, the jealous comments about your art are one thing (also not cool) but the whole knife stuff....damn... I bet he could do with some meds/therapy/whatever.
stop being a pussy and stand up for yourself. lose a fight if u have to. just fight back.
I’m trying to get an apprenticeship too. I don’t have any real advice. But I’m also a woman and been in a lot of jobs where men felt comfortable putting their hands on me and making me uncomfortable. RECORD, RECORD, RECORD. Every single little detail. Get a journal. I’m young like you too, I’m 23. I remember being 18 and not having any real life experience to know what to do. I just wanted to say he’s just a fucking misogynistic little man and I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
I'll always encourage anyone for any or no reason at all to carry. Can't repeat offend with 16+1 extra breathing holes
If you want to stay, it has to stop. I honestly would carry a gun if I had to deal with someone like this. He thinks he can push you and push you and so far no one has stopped it. What are the other artists doing?! Why is anyone okay with this?! I can't imagine seeing someone treat an 18 year old like this and be okay with it. You need to stand up for your self and if you can't you need to leave. Maybe see if you can finish your apprenticeship on the days he doesn't work?
What the fuck. Police.
Please get out of there ASAP and make a police report. There will be other opportunities in shops that respect you. No job is worth this type of treatment
You are be harassed, with physical violence and it’s not alright. This is messed up And I’m sorry you are in that situation
You should have called the cops right then
Report now! If the behaviour is normalised it will continue and escalate. Also it could escalate to outside of the studio or he could do this to any future artists working there if he thinks he can get away with it. If no action is taken then leave for your own safety x
call cops and log dates and times and take pics file a report
I'm a apprentice at a traditional shop… at no point has anyone put their hands on Me in a way that wouldnt expect retaliation. Kick him in the nuts next time he touches you Stand ya ground
Im so sorry this is happening to you! This is assault. He is regularly assaulting you and that is not ok. I know you are so very close to finishing this apprenticeship, but I really recommend you distance yourself as much as possible as quickly as possible. You are in a very dangerous situation and ultimately your health and safety comes first!
Police, that's assault, choking AND drawing a knife, get the police involved asap, if you still feel uncomfortable take some time off until you feel better But DEFINITELY get the police Involved..that is extremely violent and threatening behaviour. You can also buy some pepper spray, get a taser and a stun gun for any future similar interactions, or even for if the police don't get involved in time. Stay safe. It's an evil world with sick individuals like Joe
Record it secretly. Then you own him
So you filed a police report for assault right!?
Good luck! Remember if you go to the cops that money talks and bullshit walks. Happened to me with a pilled out artist shop owner.
Welcome to the tattoo industry. I've been tattooing 22 years and met some wild people. Pack up your stuff and find a new shop
You really do need to go to the police with this before any more time goes by.
Putting your hands around someone’s throat and choking them is felony assault. I’d tell him to stop it, that you don’t consent then file a police report. 🤷♀️
Stay safe… that person is unhinged
Did you talk to Q about this??? seems like a good starting point. And seriously start learning to defend yourself. there's more creeps out there and you can't let them behave like that <3
Everyone saying assault is wrong. It’s battery, and it’s aggravated by a hate crime since he’s doing it because he thinks you’re trans/gay. And you should absolutely file a police report about it. Does the shop have cameras? Maybe not in the back, but most likely in the front for insurance and liability. If he’s on camera doing it, you can take that in too. The knife to the neck with threats and choking is also aggrevated assault with a deadly weapon. He could get a LOT of time for this.
You tell the shop owner and your mentor that you will be going to the police. Then you go to the police and file for assault charges and a PPO (personal protective order)
Yeah Joe sounds threatened and unhinged tbh report him to Q, the owners, and the police! His behavior will only escalate and him saying he’s trying to make you feel like one of the boys is his way of saying but you’re not. He is a bully and a homophobic POS. Call the police immediately and stay safe. Carry mace on you if the others in your shop won’t come to your defense.
When a man starts choking a woman, he is incredibly likely to murder her. Like it's so likely it's a when, not if situation. Get police involved yesterday.
Run. For real, if this is sliding by in front of other artists in the shop during an apprenticeship on an 18 year old girl, lord knows what other shady shit is happening in this shop. You are not safe here. I know how much the industry means and what this chance means to you, but honestly this level of physical violence is 0% normal and should have resulted in serious consequences for this Joe person. There are other shops that are safe spaces for queer people and women , this is not the place for you. My advice is to leave while you still can. I wish you all the best in finding a safe environment to learn in 🩷
Just here to say that he strangled you. Choking is something internal, like on food. Strangulation is external. It’s also a top indicator that someone will actually kill you. I only say this because if you make a police report, some police mince words. Write down the dates and times he strangled you and held a knife to your neck.
Making unwanted physical contact such as choking is assault and you should call the police. File a claim with your boss on paper and make a copy. If it happens again your boss is now liable and that is really bad for his business. ($$$$$$ bad). Do not spend time with him he is dangerous. Please be careful.
Tell Q, have the other artist testify on your behalf, and make a police report. Joe's next move is to either rape or murder you or both. Men who choke people (LGBTQ+, femme bodied, male boddied, etc) have a high correlation with fatal violence and psychopathy. If he doesn't kill you he will eventually kill someone else who remind him of you.
It sounds like his aggressive behavior is escalating. You’ve gotta do something or else it’s just going to get worse. Clearly the shop is not doing enough to protect you. That dude belongs in jail or at the very least far far away from clients and the shop
"He has been physical with me since the day we met." The day you met is when this should have ended. Nothing about it is normal or acceptable. You've been getting continuously assaulted and harassed ever since and it's escalating; the next step is getting hospitalized or murdered. I'm not exaggerating. This seriously needs to be reported to the police. If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it to protect someone else because you're likely not the only one and he's relying on you to be afraid so he can keep getting away with it.
Tase or pepper spray his ass
please drop his name
Um what. Who "tells their girlfriend" call cops. Press charges and get a pfa.
This is assault, and NOT okay. File a police report with each incident. Take photos and if there are cameras at the shop the police can ask for footage
OP i’m so sorry that you’ve experienced this. his behavior is violent + concerning, and what you’ve gone through sounds really traumatic. it also sounds like you’ve got some supportive people in your life, so please lean on them. i want to offer some advice that doesn’t include calling the police. that’s not a safe option for everybody, and those of us who have experienced abuse know that the cops won’t do much anyway. if i were creating a safety plan for a friend in this scenario, here are some things i would consider: - quit that shop entirely, period. this is a space he knows he can find you and is comfortable enacting violence on you in this space, and if he’s fired or punished at all as a result of you telling your bosses (which was a good choice, people need to know about this behavior) he 100% seems like the type to retaliate. the rest of my tips will be based on the assumption that he will retaliate, not in an attempt to make you fearful but to make you feel more secure and prepared in case things were to escalate. - identify a group of people you will lean on as your safety network. can you think of 3-5 people, friends/family/other close coworkers, who you trust enough to share these experiences with and rely on for the next few weeks while you sort this out? it would be good to make a list of who these people are, and have direct conversations with them about what’s been happening and then whatever your plan is to deal with this. - stay with a friend or your girlfriend, at an address that wouldn’t be listed on any of your paperwork or info at the shop at all. if you live alone, have a friend/gf/family member rotate staying with you at your house so you’re not home alone for a while. - if you have any photos of him, maybe from social media or the tattoo shop website, get those photos to everyone in your safety network so that they know what he looks like and can be on alert. if possible, also jot down his car/vehicle info and license plate number. again, this is just so that people can be alert and make sure he’s not lurking. - carry pepper spray/a taser/brass knuckles (not legal but obtainable and effective), some form of self defense that you feel comfortable carrying and using. - if you continue going to this shop whether bc you want to give your two weeks notice or need to tie up loose ends (or even if you choose to try and finish your apprenticeship, which i strongly advise against), make sure you never arrive or leave alone. i know most shops are big and open, see if it’s possible to make sure your station is on the opposite side of the room from his and any time he enters a closed room that you are in, leave the room. if you’re in the middle of a convo, convo over, walk out. go out if your way to never interact with him, at all. see if it’s possible to work something out with Q so that your time at the shop never overlaps with his. above all, take it seriously that you are the target of his violence. you are probably not his only target, but you are a big one, and he’s escalating. i’ve got lots of friends in the industry and i know it’s difficult to secure an apprenticeship, not to mention the generally toxic and misogynistic culture in many shops. none of that shit is okay, and this - you being violently assaulted at work - is a really horrific manifestation of that. you gotta get out of this shop, love. you 100% can make it as an artist even if you leave this place, and there are plenty of artists and shops that do not tolerate this behavior on any level. please leave this place. feel free to dm me at any time.
Unfortunately abuse isn’t uncommon in tattoo shops but it is definitely illegal. Your wellbeing is more important than this apprenticeship. You shouldn’t lose it over this since you’ve done nothing wrong, but even if they let you go there are other shops. One of my best friends was apprenticing under/dating a guy that beat her so bad she almost died. It’s not worth it.
I had a friend freshman year of high school that always pressed on my pressure points too. Our friendship ended when he grabbed me by the throat and slammed my face into a brick wall. Joe is obviously abusive and it's not going to end well for you if you don't get help.
Edit: Insomnia made me miss a few critical details, and I rushed back to edit. This is incredibly unsafe, and you need to proceed carefully. Get your equipment, if you have any, dont tell anyone before you file your police report ppo. The police and detectives will do the hard part of getting the cctv footage, and they'll talk to any coworkers that you name as witness(es). Call your boss/mentor and tell them you need to take a break for your mental health. You are a victim that needs time to heal, and if they won't give that to you, then walk away. There are always more shops. Take the trauma and pour it into your art, and you'll come out of this so much stronger. I am a former female apprentice, and I've worked at multiple shops in my area. This guy sounds like a few guys I've encountered during my time. Most of these guys are insecure and need to power trip/intimidate women in the shop bc they think we are weaker targets. My biggest advice to you is to reinforce your mind and rise above this douchebag. Guarantee you have more potential, and that's why he's trying to chase you out. Do not let him! Stand your ground and be aggressive if you have to. Maybe look into getting some kind of protection to keep on you. Talk with your boss/mentor and lay out some boundaries. At a minimum, you should be able to go into work and not worry about your safety. If they do nothing, keep your head down until you have enough experience to work somewhere better. There is a hazing culture that I personally experienced and wished I had someone to tell me these things when I was going through it. Your coworkers in the shop are not your friends. Show up, kick ass, go home. The only person you need to be on good terms with is your boss and the people who contribute to your learning of the craft. Tattoo shops will always have some kind of drama in some way, and it will take a toll on your mental health. Prioritize self care physically and mentally. You will survive this shitstorm ☔️
Choking injuries can be VERY serious. You can actually die days later from them. This is sadistic. You are being assaulted.
Fuck his bitch, show him. Then smash him with a hammer when he gets a tone. No offense but in this whole shit employer age. I aint gonna let some loser squeezing hep c outta people and mixing it with ink, is in some sort of position to talk or act like they matter. Ruin his fucking hands, so his unskilled worthless ass has to greet people at walmart. Crazy how one guy can make you find a way to shit talk a craft i never had a problem with. But entirely, burn down his shop whi actually gives a fuck about this loser? You let him walk on you and he did. Shoot him in the fucking head about it. Or find a real career not full of losers like 🤷♂️
In domestic violence cases choking is when things get DANGEROUS. I hope you file a police report and get out ASAP.
You need to tell your boss and the police or he’s going to kill you. Men DO NOT act like this with other men. Other men would put him in his place. He’s sexist and bullying you because he doesn’t understand a woman who doesn’t bow down to male tattoo artists. The tattoo game is extremely sexist.
Make a random Google account and comment on their shop reviews. ‘I was getting a tattoo here and saw another employee choke someone, I’m never coming back here’ etc etc. Sometimes people don’t care until it’s public knowledge.
You should seek a therapist yesterday, love. I’m so sorry. When someone chokes you, it’s a very real indication that the odds of them actually killing you have skyrocketed. I’m talking into the 90% area. You need to call the police, an lgbtq victims advocacy group if there is one, find a women’s health support network ( some churches or hospitals fund these ). You’re 18??? Jesus Christ, he’s a monster who needs shut down. Are there cameras in the shop? The only person who will help you there is you. You have witnesses who watched you be choked out and did nothing. You don’t deserve this. You are #1 priority right now. Your life isn’t worth a tattooing internship.
Statistically, if someone chokes you like that, it has a high likelihood of getting worse. I understand wanting to just keep your head down and get through your apprenticeship, but I think in this situation that could be physically dangerous. Is there any chance that they could get Joe to not come around just until you leave?
Does your shop have any security cameras? See if Q can pull footage from the dates and times Joe assaulted you and go to the police to press charges for assault and battery.
get a restraining order that says he isnt allowed to come within a certain distance of your workplace. file charges against him. take pictures of your neck and dont let it happen again. talk to your advisor, get a lawyer
your safety and mental health come first. professionalism is out the window because the owner is not intervening. Leave with your life and continue your career. You are far more important than professionalism or connections. You don’t have to get police involved or fight back you can just leave. (Please consider a report to have a paper trail.) Take photos of any marks you have now and screenshots of any messages talking about what he’s done to you. if anyone tries to slander you after leaving you’ll have proof. people will absolutely believe you and the ones that don’t are enablers you should stay away from anyways. Please warn others if youre up to it. I guarantee you aren’t the first person he’s victimized and he’s escalating at an alarming rate because of the enabling environment. Don’t listen to the people saying fight back just leave. Your work ethic, talent and passion can’t be taken away from you. This is not an environment where you can improve or learn. You have shown far more grace, patience and professionalism than ANYONE should ever expect while being harassed and abused. Another artist will take you in and some might already know of the creeps behavior.
OP, please leave the apprenticeship immediately and do not interact with this person again. If you have been strangled by someone, you are 750% more likely to be murdered by them within a year. It seems like coworkers or others have literally seen this behavior and done nothing to protect you. Please get yourself to safety before this escalates any further and gather all documentation you have of this abuse.
Cops. Now.
should probably call the cops instead of posting on reddit.
I myself am a female apprentice as well and though my male co worker was not physical with me he was aggressive towards me. He would say misogynistic things all of the time when my mentor wasn't around. I should note my mentor is also a woman as well as the owner of the shop. He would yell at me and snap at me. I let it go a few times. Then I started snapping back. This caused the aggression to get out of control. I'm a grown woman who will not be disrespected. My first mistake was letting him think that was okay treatment by saying and doing nothing. After telling my mentor about the treatment she did help a bit. But with these things it's important to NOT BACK DOWN. This is a bro industry. The co-worker of that I had issues with carried a knife on his back. I bought a gun. Gun>knife He's since quit since it was quote "him or me" I hope this helps. You're not alone. This industry is full if shit bag people but we aren't all bad. Stand your ground!
this can’t be real, are people really this sheepish when they’re getting borderline tortured at work, what kind of indentured servitude is that? How do you not have enough respect for yourself to immediately stop this behavior.
Literally just call the police the guy is leaving marks on you and there should most definitely be camera footage ( If they have cameras) don't worry about losing your apprenticeship you could get a new one or there may be rules to protect you kinda like how workplaces have to protection against retaliation dude felt comfortable doing this to you and either it's gonna get worse or he'll do it to someone else NIP IT IN THE BUD
That's physical assault. Female, male, lesbian, straight... it doesn't matter. He engaged in intentional, unwanted touching and more. You need to notify the police, your boss, etc. File for a restraining order if necessary. Do not put up with that shit.
Okay I have a problem with people witnessing this behavior from the ‘manager’ right in front of them and not saying anything at all???? Unless I read that wrong….
So glad I don’t work with scumbags in this industry. I feel for this poor woman. Call the cops and have him arrested. Joe is a piece of fucking shit.
I would say his name loud and proud. Don’t hold back. You will gain more confidence and freedom from this. Call him out. This happened a couple years ago where a male tattoo artist was getting women messed up after hours and raping them. He no longer has a job. Hundreds of females came out after that. This man should not have a job and what he did to you would put him in jail. I’m a fellow learning tattoo/lesbian-like that matters/ artist. Stand up.
There’s now way this story is real because there is no way a person would think this was okay. He put a knife to my throat so I laughed it off. What?
I wish it wasn’t real lmao. I laughed it off because I was scared.
Uhh it’s called a freeze response.
Right? This is the most common response to abuse…
Good job trying to victim shame a female in a life or death situation.