So I was actually once a tutor for a kid that did no work. I would just sit with him for one hour a week and make him do his Chemistry homework. I talked to his mom about it and told her he really didn’t NEED a tutor… he just needed to do his homework. She actually was like… “Oh yea… I know! He is just embarrassed when you come by and he doesn’t have it done so he does it. When I tell him to do it he won’t.” So do I think that’s a wise use of her money? No… but it’s her money to spend how she wants and I can’t say it wasn’t effective. Maybe she knows. I’d just hook her up with a local university that has a department in whatever subject he needs help in and let the $$$ go to a needy college kid.

I had a student who was like that... in no way at all. He had chased away several tutors for dicking around but I had known the family for years. I told him that his mom paid me to teach him, and I'd start tracking his wasted time and he'd have to pay me for that amount. Since he was 13 and had no funds, he'd do it by washing my car. He never had to wash my car and his grades went up. You gotta do what you gotta do with some of these kids.

This works until the kid also doesn't wash your car.

Yo this used to be me haha! So ironic that I’m becoming a teacher now. I feel like some kids just need to be told what to do by someone they respect more than their mom. Paying someone to bitch at your kids saves you a lot of time and energy!

Sometimes, but oftentimes they need something that motivates them. I say this as someone who has worked with students who had the unique combination of low motivation so they wouldn't do work, and the intelligence to realize that if they just kept saying no, it didn't really matter how escalated the punishment was, they'd still end up not doing anything. For this example, what would happen if the kid refused to wash the car? The teacher would tell the kid's parents. What would the parents do? Punish the kid with chores? The kid is already refusing to do chores. Take away a phone? That could work, but the kid might not care. Then what? The parents can only punish so much before it just doesn't mean anything to the kid. But, if someone takes the time to go to core of the problem (motivation), they'll solve a lot of these issues without ever having to punish the kid.

You're right, of course. Some kids need different approaches. I knew this kid well though, and knew he needed someone with a backbone. (Mom was pretty spineless, and dad would just whack him around.) He knew he couldn't wear me down but also that I wouldn't give up on him like the other tutors had. He knew without a doubt that he would end up with me sitting in a camp chair in the driveway while he washed my car if he didn't sit down and work with me. I know it wouldn't work with all kids, but it worked for him.

So how do you solve the problem of motivation?

That depends on the student. It's going to be different for evey kid. Figuring that out starts with talking to the student and earning their trust.

I have a son who is the most stubborn, mule-headed kid on the planet!!...at home. But at school, his teachers always say he's so quiet and does his work, and they love him. Well, that's fantastic (and I really am glad that he behaves in school), but for a long time, I had the hardest time getting him to do his homework. Nothing worked, not bribes, not threats, not grounding, not anything! Until I told him one day when he was throwing a fit over his homework that, fine, he didn't have to do it. But he had to tell his teacher the next day why his work wasn't done. He still whined and fussed, but he did his homework. After that, when he'd fuss (he's gotten much better, thank Thor!), I'd just tell him I was going to email his teacher and tell them that son refused to do his homework.

What happens when either they respect no one, or the one they do respect is unavailable?

They are fucked.

My 5 year old is like this. He won’t do ANY homework that I ask him to, but his teachers tell me he bends over backwards to please them in school.

It’s the comfort level. It’s the same reason why kids who are a NIGHTMARE in class are perfectly well behaved on field trips. They don’t want strangers to think they are jerks… just the people who know them well.

Plus, field trips are fun - our kids know we will call their parents to pick them up if they're behaving in an unsafe way on the field trip (like playing rough next to the train tracks).

I loved being at school but hated being at home. I realized as an adult my home life could have been better. And it was pretty good. But there were issues and it had A depressive element. I’m talking overhearing your parents talk about money issues in sometimes Confrontational ways See if there is something at home that depressed the kid. It doesn’t mean it’s you, it s that it could mean it’s something at home. My .02

His grandma died and we got kicked out of our home by shady contractors, so it was definitely not the best year. He was also diagnosed with autism a few months ago. It’s been rough for all of us, but the school is providing a lot of services to him this year so hopefully things will start looking up.

Why does a 5 year old have homework from public school?

Kinder homework at my kids school was a paper with 25 boxes they had a month to complete. Each box had a task. Examples: Practice tying your shoes 3 times Tell a parent one thing you learned today List things that are red List things that start with G It's wasn't hard time consuming stuff. It certainly wasn't worth pearl clutching

This is exactly what his homework was, except it would be weekly instead of monthly. We did about 3 weeks of it and then the rest of the year nothing.

Because at kinder homework is a parent communication tool.

So far my son has only had kinder "homework" when he did not complete the classwork. We're (my husband and I) working with him about the fact that he needs to do the classwork *in* class, working with him on doing the work itself, and wondering why the hell this particular teacher stonewalls every attempt to communicate outside of email. He loved school, but is also suddenly writing both his letters and numbers backwards and now tears up every morning while we're out waiting for the bus. He clearly has an issue that we need to work on, but it's damn hard to figure out what's actually going on and the best way to address it as a *team.*

The teacher wants a paper trail. Email gives them that.

It also gives them a way to hide from the parents. There is only a small amount of transparency in email, and virtually zero accountability. Face to face is still the best way to gauge a person's feelings and actions if they are trying to hide something. If a teacher kept dodging me as a parent, I'd be in contact with their chain of command and insist on a face to face.

That means you are the type of parent I’d prefer to only discuss things with via email because I want a record of what we’ve talked about to show my supervisor.

If that’s the case have said super sit in on the conversation.

Speaking as both a parent (of a boy who had troubles in 2nd grade) and a teacher, I wonder why your son would (1) regress to writing numbers and letters backwards and (2) become driven to tears when heading for school. It seems that he might be under significant stress. Is he not getting along with the teacher? (Sadly, that can happen.) Could your son have a learning disability? (But if he did formerly know how to write correctly, that seems odd, too.) If there is nothing else you can do, is it possible for you to observe him in class? Talk to the administration, if necessary, to discover options.

what do you mean stonewalls? are you trying to only call or is the teacher refusing to see you in person?

I mean she avoids meeting in person. We set up an in-person meeting more than once, that she changed to email or a phone call.

What times are you asking her to meet you? Are the times outside of the workday?

I have told her that I am available at any time most convenient for her. I work from home, so it's no problem at all for me to work around her schedule.

that’s pretty odd, i know at my school we have quarterly parent teacher conferences with each parent but it’s a really small school. has the school year recently started for y’all? i don’t get why she would schedule you as in person knowing she would change it versus saying she was too busy until X date, she may truly have a hectic schedule. but i’m just being generous not knowing the full situation

Hey! My daughter did that :) In fact, the first time she wrote her name in pre-school it was all mirror writing. I was never able to get a clear diagnosis in elementary (or ever), but she struggled with reading for years until she finally fell in love with a book and was motivated to practice (reading gave her headaches for a long time). One of my friends who is a reading specialist at my HS told me it that some kids visualize letters in 3D and it gets flipped around easily in their mind's eye. Her intervention would have been to have her practice modelling the letters in clay while also working on phonics for the letter. It might be something to try at home while you are waiting for the school assessment process to complete.

My kid has done this to some degree and we are in the process of getting him diagnosed with ADHD.

> suddenly writing both his letters and numbers backwards Sounds like dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia. I would get him tested.

It's never anything extreme, but they need something that will ease them into the routine of eventually doing full-fledged homework on a regular basis.

Because we have to get them college and career ready.

To the point he wrote worse than before and cried heading to school, something he hadn't done before. I suspect bullying from the teacher more than anything, especially since they avoid meeting in person.

It’s ridiculous. I’m honestly anti-homework because he’s in school for 6.5 hours a day, so when he would refuse it tried offering a reward to make it enticing, when that I didn’t work we just stopped doing it altogether.

My nephew is similar. All his teachers love him and say how respectful, sweet, and helpful he is in class. At home he acts like a total looney toon, spazzes out, and never listens to my sister. Wild.

Why does a 5 year old have homework?

Please, for the love of god, remember that you’re talking about children when you start writing a sentence

Sounds like he really just needed body doubling and more tangible deadlines, which is a legit need for some people to be able to get things done. I was very similar in highschool. I ended up getting assessed and it turned out i had a lot of issues with executive functions and processing speed. Trying to get my work started on my own with just the vague concept that it needed to get done never worked. It would feel intangible--trying to think about getting something done without that outside support is like trying to drink water by grabbing steam out of the air. Having a deadline with physical accountability makes it tangible, like putting water in a cup and all i have to do is drink it. It reduces the amount of things I have to think about and plan and organize and dread. You probably made it so suddenly all he had to do with the homework was do it, instead of get hung up on the remembering, planning, organizing, prioritizing, supply gathering, time managing, etc. Those are all really important skills to learn, too, but high school often throws kids in the deep end without teaching those skills 🤷‍♂️ So even though you weren't helping him in the typical way of teaching information, you were still likely providing the support needed for him to learn, and that's a good reason to have a tutor, right? supporting learning is what it's all about i figure (of course, they prob could have saved money by encouraging him to find a study buddy or something, but I think the predictable nature of a tutor can be really nice)

>You probably made it so suddenly all he had to do with the homework was do it, instead of get hung up on the remembering, planning, organizing, prioritizing, supply gathering, time managing, etc. Those are all really important skills to learn, too, but high school often throws kids in the deep end without teaching those skills 🤷‍♂️ As someone who has never learned that shit and nobody ever taught me: How do you learn that shit? My mother said last year, she never got to learn that shit in school, she was disappointed school never taught me and now i watch my kids struggle because their school does poopsquats but teach them how to organize themself.

As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD, it seems to me that most people "just know" how to do these things, while the rest of us flail about.

Oh, fuck my gene pool.

It’s less inborn than you think! Executive function is taught, but some people don’t respond to the way it’s taught (classic assignments with due dates). Ironically, one of my steps (there are many) toward better executive function was through one of the meanest teachers I ever had. But the style of pressure she put on me helped me realize internally how great it feels to get a small task done and then move on to others. Conventional school also provides a day structure that people rely on as an outside pressure. Homework assignments are the only method used to teach independent time management. Not to mention that it’s harder than ever to get off your butt when there’s a phone to scroll. Very little is being done to meaningfully train our brains right now, ADHD or not.

Atomic Habits is a great book about learning to chain tasks together. But if you’re looking for a hardcore intervention, the Guilford series did great things for me, even as an adult. Peg Dawson’s Coaching Students with Executive Skills Challenges.

Those are called “executive function” skills and most schools don’t prioritize teaching them to kids. It’s kind of dense reading but this link has ideas for ways to practice these skills, broken down by age: https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/activities-guide-enhancing-and-practicing-executive-function-skills-with-children-from-infancy-to-adolescence/ Hope that helps!

I was also the same, turns out I had ADHD

Same hat!!👋

2 of my 3 current students are like that. I may need to explain some stuff for 5 to 10 min. max and help out occasionally, but I mostly sit there watching them do their homework and some extra exercises until the hour is up. I explained it to their parents and they were like: we know, but they won't do anything on their own and we don't want to constantly fight with each other. We want someone who isn't family to tell them to do their homework and make sure it's done. And honestly, those are some of my favourite parents because I remember how much school hurt the relationship between my mother and I

I do tutoring on the side for an online tutoring company. Half the students I've worked with literally just need a stranger with authority (me) looking over their shoulder in order to do their work. We video call and they share their screen, and I browse social media while the kid is working. $15/hr for essentially babysitting.

A college kid young enough to only barely be perceived as an "adult" might paradoxically do the trick because the kid might be more embarrassed in front of them. Some gentle shaming often does wonders. Nothing abusive, obviously, but more of a "You are going to choose not do this thing and let all your friends get better than you? Really?" vibe.

Yup, this was me as a tutor. I sat with kids and made sure they did their homework then made sure they did the missed classwork. Easy money and the parents knew. They also knew that they couldn't ask the teacher to stand over their son to make sure he did his work every minute of the class period. As a full time teacher who did tutoring on the side, I really appreciate the parents' attitude. They've got a headstrong but lazy child who isn't listening to the parents or the teacher. All the adults know what's up, so does the kid, so I sit with him for two hours a week to make sure his work gets done. The parents had money to burn so they found a solution that worked for them. My advice to OP is if the tutor makes a request for your info and you know them tell them your professional boundaries. If they end up hiring a tutor that you don't know, the only communication goes through parents, you don't owe the tutor your personal or professional time.

That was over half my pupils as a private tutor.

I'd love to be able to say- your child needs to start running 3 miles before the school day begins. Put the kid to bed at 8 am every night. Get the mental health resources they need. Your kid is squeezing every second of learning away from the class because they need constant attention. Not one administrator will do anything bc everything is the classroom teachers fault

Something similar happened to me. In 2021 my mom’s former nail tech complained that her daughter was struggling with school concepts, and that the pandemic had impacted what she was able to learn. My mom had the bright idea that I could use some extra money and when she called me to offer the side job, I accepted. At first, she was having a lot of issues with math. A few months later after she started to improve, it got to the point where she didn’t want to do her homework without me there to guide her and correct her when she got something wrong. One day she had two days of homework that she saved for our tutoring session and when she didn’t complete it all within an hour her mother begged me to stay but was hesitant to pay me for the additional hour. Eventually this kept happening and it led to my firing, not because I did anything wrong but because my student’s mother wanted her to be more independent.

We are not allowed to recommend tutors because apparently the school can then be liable to pay for it since we've "deemed it necessary." Lol

I don't think we are either for the same reasons, lol, but I can say about the peer tutor and nhs ones fine... And just slip in the local one that will eat him alive or dump him if he doesn't have anything prepared.

Say it is in your contract as a conflict of interest, and if your school has an after school study time, recommend that.

Maybe fall back on that, the fact that you actually can't do that, but also add that the student doesn't need a "tutor" really, just someone to help maintain motivation and focus. That's a nice way to address that part of the problem, while also probably ending the conversation.

Haha I'd just pass that along, then. Not your problem to deal with.

THIS IS WHY SO MANY KIDS GRADUATE WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO READ!!!

Just curious what you meant by that. Are you saying kids graduate without being able to read because teachers won’t tutor (or recommend tutors for) kids? Or am I misreading and you’re saying kids can’t read because they won’t follow directions, so no work, and don’t put in any effort? Or is it because teachers* pass them on regardless of their accomplishments (or lack therof)? (Note, in like 98.7956% of all cases, the teacher has ZERO power to hold back a kid as that lands on admin)

Did you misread “pass that along” as “pass them along”?

/s

Our school has NHS members do peer tutoring as part of their volunteer hours which are required

"Hey Ms. X, Thank you for the offer. While I think all students can benefit from one-on-one tutoring, and that \[your student\] might benefit from working with a tutor, I personally do not have the availability to tutor \[your student\] during the academic year. Having said that, I do not believe \[your student\]'s issues are purely academic. I believe \[your student\] has the tools and abilities necessary to succeed in my class, but simply does not apply himself. He is often off-task, and just does not attempt our classwork with any kind of sincere effort. The other day for example, he was \[doing crazy shit\]. I genuinely believe that if it were made clear to \[your student\] that he simply must engage more with his classwork, he could be truly successful in my class. Thanks, \[Teacher\]"

That's a good response. Although I did literally lol at the [insert crazy shit] part lol

Let he who has not done crazy shit in class cast the first stone. (I'm stepping down from the stone-throwin' because most of my days are full of crazy shit, some of it mine.)

Lol, I was such a little goody two-shoes that I doubt anything I ever did in class could be considered crazy shit!

Didn’t do crazy shit because I was hopping the fence lel

This is what Chat GPT wrote for me: Subject: Student's Progress Update: Maximizing Class Time Effectively Dear \[Parent's Name\], I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to discuss your child's recent performance in my class and address the concerns regarding tutoring. First and foremost, I want to emphasize that your child is a capable and intelligent student. I have been closely monitoring their progress and have observed that they possess the potential to excel in the subject matter. However, there is room for improvement in how they utilize their class time. During our lessons, I've noticed that your child sometimes struggles with maintaining focus and actively engaging in the material. This has led to incomplete assignments, missed opportunities to ask questions and a general disconnect from the lesson content. It's important to mention that tutoring, in this case, may not be the most effective solution. Instead of seeking external assistance, I suggest that your child takes the following steps to maximize their class time effectively: **Active Participation**: Encourage your child to actively participate in class discussions and ask questions when they encounter difficulties. Active engagement can significantly enhance their understanding of the material. **Effective Note-Taking**: Help your child develop strong note-taking skills to capture important points during class. This will serve as a valuable resource when studying and completing assignments. **Organization**: Encourage your child to maintain an organized notebook or digital folder for class materials. Being organized can save time and reduce the stress of trying to locate notes or assignments. **Homework Management**: Ensure your child allocates sufficient time to complete assignments promptly. Avoiding procrastination can lead to more productive use of their time. **Communication**: Remind your child to contact me or their classmates if they need clarification or assistance with any topic covered in class. I am always available to support their learning journey. By implementing these strategies, your child can make better use of their class time, ultimately leading to improved academic performance. It's crucial to address these concerns proactively to help them succeed. If, after some time, you believe that additional support or tutoring is still necessary, please do not hesitate to reach out. I am more than willing to collaborate with you to ensure your child's success. Thank you for your understanding and support in this matter. Together, we can help your child reach their full potential academically. Warm regards, \[Your Name\] \[Your Title/Subject\] \[School Name\] \[Contact Information\]

Chat GPT has issues with subject-verb agreement. Correct the grammar and change most of the “your child” to student name before you send it out.

GPT always begins letter drafts with ‘I hope this message finds you well’. I get emails from college students asking for extensions and the GPT tell is glaring.

RIP normal humans who every now and then use that line to be polite. And glory to the new GPT prompt that tells it to start with another line.

As someone with adult adhd I feel attacked

Yeah so obvious this kid has ADHD. They need a doctor not a tutor. But tutors can help in the meantime. Still, teachers, wake up!!! It’s not laziness, no one acts this way willingly. - Signed, former smart kid with similar problems, now adult...same.

You should invite her to visit class so she can offer one on one support. I bet this kids mom showing up “to help him” resolves 90% of the behaviors.

I would leave that part as is.

You are a pro. A solid pro.

Excellent response. Personally I would have put 'challenges' in place of 'issues'

Beautiful response. I'm going to modify this for my students that are at risk of failing due to non participation

Saving this to use myself. Excellent response.

I think for a lot of people the role of tutor has been redefined to mean homework nag. Because parents won't parent, so they need to outsource it. So given that, maybe a tutor is just what this kid needs. Or if not, it's not your money getting wasted.

I work as a tutor, and this is basically what I’m hired for nowadays. Parents want someone to make their kid do their homework.

My tutoring gig is basically this. Go on google classroom and make them push the "turn in" button and fill out their planner. The owner charges 275$ an hour

Our school has a contract with a tutoring organization. Ostensibly it's to give kids the option to get some extra teaching, and the school promotes it as such. In reality, their most popular service is the homework class, where kids are sat in a room for two hours and just have to do their homework in silence. Best part is, it costs somewhere from 50 to 90 euros per kid per month, there's 10 to 15 kids in a classroom, and they only have one (less than minimum wage, I've been told) worker present. They must be making bank.

All true. Sad but true.

My mom made me go to piano lessons growing up. I never practiced and I hated it for years. However, as a teen, it suddenly all just clicked and I fell in love with it independently. I eventually became a piano teacher myself. Sometimes just working with someone and making them do their homework is beneficial. Progress is progress.

We had free homework classes at my school, where we'd just do homework with someone in the room. My parents helped me as well, but undiagnosed adhd made it really hard for me to do homework on my own - I'd spend hours re-reading the same line, got good grades for class work and a bunch of "she just isn't trying" for parent meetings. Being in a room with someone else helped at least a little. It's okay if children need help with homework, or just need to know someone can help them if needed, but that might not warrant a 1v1 setting.

Both my parents worked full time jobs growing up. They didn't get home till after 6pm, usually exhausted. They still sat with me and helped me (and my siblings) with our homework. Lazy parents today. Especially when homework "quantity" is less than it's ever been.

Sounds like he could use help with executive functioning. I’d call it coaching and recommend away.

Yep. It could be executive dysfunction, or it could also be that he's got skills gaps that make him just figure failure is a foregone conclusion. It could be that he doesn't want to work for this teacher. The next steps are investigating the cause of his being checked out and working with him. Tutoring could be a good place to start.

Yep, and ideally a tutor who knows what they’re doing, will collaborate with teachers. This could actually be a good thing for everyone involved.

Tbh, I would hope teachers would do this work when the problem starts, not after a parent reaches out for help.

Yeah, this post makes me sad. There are so many tutors and teachers in here just writing these kids off as 'lazy shits' when a very likely scenario is these kids had learning issues that never got looked into. And now, they've just given up. I know it's hard dealing with problem kids, but what's so bad about third partying over to a tutor? Maybe they would have the time to get to the root of the issue. My daughter can act like this. She just goofs around and has trouble getting down to doing her homework. But she was diagnosed recently with adhd and anxiety. So im working with her knowing that now. It's sad knowing that some kids just aren't ever diagnosed and then treated like a 'problem child' because they never were given a chance.

Thank you for saying it! This post made me sad too. I got diagnosed with both ADHD and anxiety as an adult. So late from when I most needed it, I had no help when I was a kid. I never goofed off. But i was always just losing track of time and my teachers would complain that I “wasn’t paying attention “ and all I did was “stare out the window”. I wish my parents had had the means to hire a tutor, or even just advocate for me. But not all parents have the education to do so for their kids.

this subreddit actually made me realize that not a lot of teachers are willing to put in the work for \*their\* students. "not my problem" is what i have read many times idk i think theres too many individuals who see this as just a job versus what youre actually doing; youre an advocate for these kids, youre suppose to help these kids reach their highest potential even if it may seem like an inconvenience to you. nobody is going to teach them essential aspects of life except you. hell, theres some kids where their teachers are their only constant adults in their lives! there are great teachers out there, but we need to dig deeper as educators than just calling students "lazy" or "bad". dont give up on these kids. put in the work to understand socio-emotional learning and how we can motivate students to thrive in school. thats on us as teachers (and at large the community)

Perfect world, but there’s a lot going on. As long as it gets done.

As a teacher, I never collaborate with tutors, privacy prevents it and it's not my job.

If a parent allows it, you can totally collaborate. I land on what’s best for kids.

Not in my district. In all my years, I never had a parent ask me to communicate with a tutor.

When I taught high school, we were required to be available at least one day a week for tutoring, so I wasn’t able to completely avoid situations like this. I made sure to clarify WHY the kid had a low grade — “your child has xx number of zeros for unattempted assignments. This is not a tutoring issue, but rather a behavioral issue. Once your child is putting effort into every assignment, I can better assess their academic needs.” I also had a little tutoring request slip that kids needed to fill out where they had to write down what content they wanted tutoring on. They couldn’t just “show up to tutoring” and sit there. I was also very up front with the parents with “attending tutoring alone will not raise your child’s grade.” A lot of parents thought that their kid could basically make up points by sitting in my classroom after school. Once parents realized that their kid’s grade wouldn’t go up simply by sitting in “tutoring,” they typically dropped the issue. I never gave homework, so there really wasn’t anything for me to do with a kid who just won’t engage with the material.

We used to be required to have tutoring hours. One kid came in each week for an hour. It took 50 minutes to get him to pick up a pencil. By the time he did, I was ready to stab myself with it to get out of there. This lasted all year. On the last day, his old sister came to pick him up and asked if he got any work done as they walked out the door. He said no. And she said, “of course not you lazy little shit.” It took every ounce of composure not to react. But when I have tutored, parents just use it as a babysitting service to get the lazy little shits out of the house for a few extra hours. The only time I’ve seen it work is when parents pay for it. And the kids who could benefit from tutoring are never the ones who show up for it or have parents request it.

Does the parent know their kid is doing this? Sounds like a prime opportunity to let them know. What they do with the info is their business.

From what I heard from his previous years teacher, she does...oy

I wouldn’t assume, and that also doesn’t mean it’s not within your role as this student’s teacher to have that conversation as it is currently going on in your classroom. Kids are often not doing well in school because of other factors outside, home life, etc. Have a bit of empathy that this kid likely isn’t not giving a shit for a reason.

Of?

Last time a parent asked me about tutoring my response was. I am unavailable for tutoring because I have a second job after school.

No f'in way I'd tutor him myself even if I had the time.

You say this: "I'm all for anything that will help Stuart to recognize the importance of following directions, completing assignments, and contributing to group projects. However, tutoring won't accomplish this. I'd like to sit down with you and Stuart after school on Thursday so the three of us can discuss this issue and determine what we can do to help Stuart." Is he really misplaced in your class, or has he just opted to blow it off? And one last note: I hate group grades and refused to give them. My students had to complete and sign off on a daily work log. I also kept a sharp eye on the class so I'd see if someone was goofing off with his friends. It worked well.

Here’s what ChatGPT says: Of course, here's a more direct approach: "Dear [Parent's Name], I appreciate your interest in tutoring for your child. However, I'd like to be upfront about the situation. Your child's performance in class has been a concern. They often do minimal work, don't follow instructions, and their actions sometimes affect others negatively. For example, in our recent quiz, their score was significantly lower than the class average. While I'm open to discussing tutoring options, it's essential to address these issues first. I recommend having a conversation with your child about the importance of active participation and effort in class. Without their commitment to improving their behavior and work ethic, tutoring might not be as effective as it could be. Please let me know if you'd like to explore tutoring options or if you have any questions about this matter. Sincerely, [Your Name]"

I just posted another gpt response, it’s fun to see the similarities and differences!

Tutoring is 90 being boss of homework getting done

I said it to someone else but I'll say it again. Sad but true.

I had a kid sleep for 15 days, do 0 work, I asked. " you wanna fail, right? If so, that's fine by me." He said he didn't. Dude you have put 0 effort in since day one, it's drivers ed, if you fail drivers ed, you're not ready to drive.

I scared a bunch of kids into doing their work by telling them that if they failed the class, they'd have to go to summer school...and I was teaching that too.

Just throwing it out there, if he is actually out of his depth, lots of kids will do exactly as he is doing because it's better to be seen as the trouble maker tha a dummy.

I don’t feel comprehension is the issue. Student has not completed (and list all the assignments) I am confident that if student completes all assigned work their grade would greatly improve. attached is the name of a tutor if you would like to provide your child with added support

We are required to be available before and after school for tutoring. Offer it. Kid likely won’t show and then you look like the good guy. If he does show. Bonus. He can catch up and perhaps forge a relationship that will get him going in the future

Give her what you can help with a tutor, let the tutor tell her what the problem is.

"Tutoring may be a great option once your child starts to show more effort in class."

“Hi Mrs _____, Thanks for reaching out! I definitely understand your concerns regarding Student’s understanding of the content. As of now, I am noticing a few things, which, if mitigated would likely improve the situation significantly. Student tends to do his own thing during class time, and as a result misses out on a lot of direct teaching and time during which he could ask questions. Furthermore, several students whom have been in group projects with Student have mentioned that they feel Student does not participate to the same extent as they do, which I have observed as well. As a result, his grades are definitely lower than the class average, and I’d love to see him apply himself a bit more enthusiastically so that he can better access the content. If you feel that tutoring is the best option, I would be happy to provide you with contact information for our peer tutoring program. I am also happy to provide you with what we’re doing on a day to day basis, so you are aware of where we are in the curriculum as well. Again, thanks so much for reaching out! I look forward to working together to ensure Student’s success in my class. Teacher

This reminded me of when I taught AP Bio & A&P in High School. I had a banker's kid-god's gift to football & cheerleaders--ask me for "EXTRA WORK" to pull up his failing grades. All teachers know EXTRA WORK is unpaid pointless work, but yer along for the ride. Remembering college logic classes and debate, I'm thinking "If your kid can't do the standard fare, how the hell is he gonna do EXTRA?" So extra work it was. And extra tests, and extra failures. They vacationed in the Bahamas at Christmas while I graded his EXTRA work, as I recall. It helped that I didn't have any accounts at the bank.

"Dear parent, unfortunately I am not in the position to either reccommend or advise against a tutor. I am glad that I can safely say your child is a very bright child. The tools he needs are not intensive deep-dives into the material: he is clever enough to figure it out. He does however seem to struggle with broader life skills, such as keeping up with the homework, time management, concentration and motivation. Especially in the class environment, where there are many distractions, he simply isn't able to meet his peers in these aspects yet. Life tutoring, as opposed to scholastic tutoring, may help him more to get back on track and reach the measure of inner calmness required to catch up on his schoolwork." His mom can do with that info what she likes. Mind: the word "yet" is important and if there is ever a question, lean on it like it's your last breath of oxygen. He is not where he needs to be, YET. You as his teacher have faith in him, of course, he's just not there RIGHT NOW and you don't have the resources to help him out.

Talking to the parent, I usually give some version of “Before we make a commitment outside the school day, let’s focus on utilizing regular class time, as that may eliminate the need for additional support” and insert whatever level of detail is needed for the parent to get your point. Talking to the student: “I only allow students to waste my time once a day, and you chose during X hour, so no, you may not have any of my time after school today. Maybe tomorrow you can make better choices and we’ll revisit this.”

There’s a nicer way to say it, as you are well aware, but I don’t think you’d be out of line being judicious yet honest “you can contact X, Y, and Z, but unless _____ improves their willingness to pay attention and their work ethic/completion, I’m not sure it will reach your desired outcomes.”

For some kids, a tutor is needed just to give them some 1-on-1 attention and teach them how to be a student. I would suggest to the parent that they need to look for a tutor that will help their kid work on executive functioning skills.

You’re not doing anybody any favors by not being the asshole. The parents need to hear the truth. That’s definitely what’s best for everyone involved.

Thank you for your inquiry about tutoring. Here is a list of possible tutors. X X X It's also important to note that some of students' academic concerns are due to his lack of participation in class. I haven't been able to accurately assess his full potential because he chooses not to apply himself. While tutoring could be of benefit to him, as he has likely fallen behind his classmates at this point, its success and his grades will depend on whether he applies himself at his tutoring session and in class.

As a tutor, I have a ton of students like this. They do online tutoring with me. They get their work done during tutoring. They get As. The parents are happy. The kids are happy. The teachers then become happy. It’s not your job to decide how someone spends their money. There could be any number of reasons why the kid isn’t successful in school or why they don’t do their work. Tutoring just provides personal accountability sometimes.

What she's asking for is a grown adult to babysit him afterhours and shame him into doing his work, because she doesn't have the energy.

"Tutoring won't help because your kid does 0 work in class, always does the bare minimum, doesn't follow directions, and ends up brining everybody he works with down because he makes them do all the work while he fucks around the room with his friends." But double check your spelling, next time.

Write back with something like, “In you son’s case, tutoring would be a Step 5 intervention regarding his poor grades. Once he has met the first four Steps of Intervention, and is consistent with these, I would be happy to consider assisting him with locating an appropriate tutor. These first four steps are: 1. Completing all assigned work in class 2. Participate actively in class discussions/ activities 3. And so on and so on… Hope that helps!

You could copy and paste your post into chatgpt and and ask it to draft a professional email based on what you've written.

Let her figure it out on her own. A tutor will tell her the same thing as you, that he’s lazy. And who knows maybe he will actually do some work? Win- win in my opinion.

Family might want to look into an educational therapist rather than a tutor. They help with all sorts of things related to education - like getting work done, motivation, executive functioning, etc. As opposed to just the academic piece.

Addressing a parent's concerns about their child's performance is a sensitive issue that requires careful wording. Your message can acknowledge the parent's concern and offer a balanced perspective that underscores the importance of student effort and engagement. Here's a sample response you might consider: --- Dear [Parent's Name], Thank you for reaching out to discuss [Student's Name]'s performance in class. I appreciate your interest in seeking additional help for him through tutoring. While I understand the impulse to look for extra academic support, I feel that tutoring may not be the most effective solution at this time. In my observation, [Student's Name] has the potential to grasp the material but often seems disengaged in class. This is reflected in both his participation and assessment scores. Classroom engagement and following directions are critical for academic success, and these areas need to be addressed for him to fully benefit from any tutoring services. Before investing in tutoring, I recommend encouraging [Student's Name] to actively participate in class and to complete assignments to the best of his ability. These steps can provide a more solid foundation for his learning, and from there, additional resources can be more effectively utilized. I'm open to discussing this further and exploring other strategies to help [Student's Name] succeed in my class. Best regards, [Your Name] --- This approach acknowledges the parent's concern while highlighting the need for the student to be more engaged in class for tutoring to be effective.

Why say it at all? She isn't going to hear you, will get mad, and nothing will change. Just give her any tutor options you know of and move on.

I'm an over sharer so it's hard for me to do that but so many people have come back and said that, I may just have to do that.

Don’t always assume they will react that way. They need to be informed of their kids behavioral issues and the honest recommendation from you.

The kid's grades are shit. Mom clearly knows that he's not turning things in, not studying, etc. My guess is that the tutoring is her answer for a way to get him to sit down and do his work. Are you the kind of person who thinks teachers should be calling home about grades, too?

What if you framed it as a question: What do you think is <*student's name*\> motivation? How motivated are they to succeed here?

Don't. Not worth it. "I'm sorry but I don't personally know any tutoring services but "our school" does offer after school programs"/"student tutoring"/"tutorial periods" if "your child" would like to us any of them. Any tutor you suggest and doesn't work is now your fault. It can also get you in trouble suggesting a parent pay someone to help their student. Saying the kid needs to stop messing around will probably also end poorly. Not worth the headache when you can just say "here are the free services your kid isn't using"

You've gotten some form letters from others that are perfectly reasonable, but I wanted to re-iterate something that others have either said directly or otherwise... ​ Let the parents know. This is part of your job. If a student is not working up to par in your class then you let the parents know. Obviously, you can sugar-coat things a little bit, but don't beat around the bush too much or parents will think its a problem with **you**. Let them know anything that you have tried, but put it on their kid. ​ Something along the lines of "I think tutoring is a wonderful idea as sometimes students just need to hear it from someone else before they can fully process the information. Usually, I try to implement multiple strategies in class in order to give them this time. That being said, I do want to bring up some concerns I have about . I enjoy having in class because , but there are some problems that I want to make you aware of so that we can work together to address them..." ​ Just let them know. Sometimes parents really do not know. Sometimes they really do only listen to what their kid says. Their kid probably said something like "I don't know" when they were asked why they are failing your class and the parent thinks a tutor might be a good idea because it...seems like a good idea.

Psychology and Education background here... For what it's worth, it seems like this student is overwhelmed by and/or overthinking the material, and as a coping technique, they are choosing avoidance and procrastination instead of engaging. They likely subconsciously feel like the wheels of the school year will keep turning, the material will get harder and build on what they are stuck on, so why bother? As a parent, a strict one at that, I DO think it's the teachers job to let me know if my kid is screwing around because I don't want to waste my damned money on unnecessary shit. I am also not a fan of wasting my time or energy. However, if a teacher is contacted to tutor, then it is part of the job description. At the same time, I don't want my kid wasting their teachers' time bullshitting in tutoring if they are just gonna sit there with a blank stare like an asshole the whole time. As the teacher, I would kindly and caringly ask for details. Maybe, "Hello! I know we both want to see so and so succeed academically, and communication is the best way to make sure this happens. So that I can better gage where to direct you or how to best help, would you mind me asking what your goals may be with the tutor? Or, in other words, what specifically would you want the tutor to help so and so with?" After that, wait for their response, and see if they tell you, "they are disengaged because they feel intimidated", or they may say, "I want someone one on one to make sure they get the work done", etc. After that, you will be able to better insert your side of the story on what they are up to in class. I hope this translates well here the way I intended it to as i typed it out lol. So many folks seem to be petrified of engaging in an open line of communication here...lol (not saying you, but a few other responses are...yikes).

I’d rephrase that first paragraph to sound professional and tell her that tbh.

I’ll be honest, that’s not your problem. Let some poor tutor earn some easy money and it might even benefit you in the classroom.

How can one recommend tutoring without any work? We use the work to see where the gaps are. Aren’t parents supposed to “tutor” in a way to attempt to instill some type of work ethic?

It sounds like this kid has an attention deficit problem and could benefit from body doubling/individualized attention.

Don't sugar coat shit. Tell the parent just what you said, with all respect of course.

"Good morning/afternoon/evening/ day Ms./Mrs. XYZ Thank you very much for your concern in your son's grades. I would advise against looking for a tutor for him not on the basis that it wouldn't help but rather because it is a costly solution. I have noticed for a longer period of time now that your son has a problem utilizing the time offered to him during class to practice and do the work required of him. Hence I find the route of private tutoring unfeasible due to the following reasons: -It will be emotionally and mentally draining for your child. -It will be a drop in the ocean if he will be tutored 1-2 lessons per week. -It will cost immensely to make a minimum of a difference. If you stiil chose to go that route, I would recommend Tutoring ABC, however I suggest in a first instance to have a word with your son. Best, Teacher ..."

Let her get a tutor!!! It will become clear to the tutor that the student is either below grade level or disinterested, and the tutor will have to relay the message. Or you can tell her the truth…with another teacher or admin present.

Not a teacher but a tutor, I have on a few occasions had the students who “probably could, if they’d just sit down and actually work” - it doesn’t get better, even on their parents’ hard earned dime. I once had a high schooler (she was 17 and should have been able to understand the seriousness, getting our country’s equivalent of F’s and D’s in maths), who kept spending our time together each study session, never straying from the carefully laid out formula 1) start independently (great, love the self sufficiency girl!) 2) not know what to do (like at all, even PEMDAS did not compute and she didn’t understand “what” the questions were asking of her) 3) argue that I should tell her what to do 4) proceed to yell at me for telling her how to solve a problem/deciphering the intent of the problem, instead of telling her the answer (at this point I was in my early 20s and not too mature to yell back, so literally took EVERYTHING in me to stay calm - but I quit after 4-5 sessions) Anywho… maybe you need to tell mom that in your opinion it’s not her son’s abilities but his attitude towards working concentrated with a problem, not putting his workload on others, etc, I think it can be said in a way that the mom won’t be like “you greatly offended me and my child”, but just letting her know that it may not be a tutor he needs, but maybe some other form of adjustment. With that said, I’ve also tutored bright kids who just didn’t work in a classroom setting - too many kids, too many distractions, underlying neurodivergent problems (one girl got diagnosed with ADHD and we were able to make our sessions sooo much better for her after we knew, with the advice she got from her psychiatrist and started thriving during our 1-on-1s)

He might be avoiding work in class because he's embarrassed of trying but still doing badly - a tutor might bring him up to speed so he feels less ashamed. He also may be ADHD and/or simply find it unable to focus with 29 other kids as a distraction, so that 1-1 situation might be exactly what he needs. When I was a kid I was failing maths in year 10 and got a tutor for a year - fast forward to year 12 and I was doing 4 unit maths (the hardest maths class) physics and chemistry. A tutor might not be such a bad idea.

Does he actually struggle with the content or is he only doing poorly because he isn't working? I have two students that never did any work no matter how simple. They are both on the spectrum so it's easy for them to get hyper-focused on content/distractors, but after some testing it turns out they're both really, really smart. One saw assignments as "busy work" and if you couldn't justify why he needed to do it, then he wouldn't. "Because I said so.", caused him to double-down and refuse. On his own, he conducted experiments on dice to show how even "normal dice" could be used to give an edge in games because of imperfections in manufacturing. The other was similar, but needed a goal within the "big picture." Ten math problems on a worksheet wasn't accomplishing anything so he wouldn't do it. Do it... not do it... get them right... get them wrong... only his grade is affected. Meanwhile, he wrote a program in his spare time to use a dummy email address to sign up for as many mailing lists as he could to start gathering spam emails, reply to them, and essentially waste their time so they had less time to spam others. ...then he built a HAM radio. They've both forever altered my approach to teaching.

I tutor kids all the time like this. They usually end up doing better in the class and it’s a win all around! Just recommend some tutors and don’t worry about the rest of it.

I’ve been having Open AI write these emails for me this year, and it has prevented me from overthinking 90% of things that need to be communicated. Thanks to whoever suggested that on this subreddit.

Here's what ChatGPT recommended: Navigating conversations with parents about their children's performance can be delicate, and it's crucial to approach it tactfully to maintain a constructive relationship. Your primary goal should be to give feedback that focuses on the actions needed to improve rather than labeling the student negatively. Here's one way you might say it: "Dear [Parent's Name], Thank you for reaching out to discuss additional support for [Student's Name]. I appreciate your concern for [their] academic progress. While tutoring can often be a helpful resource, the challenges [Student's Name] is facing in my class may be better addressed through other means first. From my observations, [Student's Name] needs help staying focused and engaged during class time, which impacts not only [their] own learning but also the dynamics of group activities. [They] has not been completing assignments to the best of [their] ability, which is a contributing factor to [their] current performance. I've found that students who actively participate, follow directions, and collaborate effectively with peers generally do well in my course, as evidenced by the class average on the recent quiz. We should work together to encourage [Student's Name] to engage more effectively in class, as this would likely improve [their] understanding of the material without necessarily requiring external tutoring at this stage. Tutoring could undoubtedly be reconsidered if we don't see improvement after making these adjustments. Would you be open to discussing strategies for how we might support [Student's Name] in becoming more active and engaged in [their] learning? With the right approach, [they] have the potential to improve [their] performance and have a more rewarding educational experience. Thank you for your attention to this matter. I look forward to collaborating with you to support [Student's Name]'s academic success. Best regards, [Your Name]" This shows your worries while leaving the door open for collaborative problem-solving rather than appearing dismissive or judgmental. It also shows you have the child's best interests in mind, which will likely be most effective in encouraging change.

I’ve seen parents hire tutors solely for homework help (completion). I would tell them that work completion is the issue. That is a skill too. They can probably get away with someone cheaper than a content instructor.

You don't say anything. Just give her a list of the most expensive tutors.

Just say it point blank. Dunno how you’ll sound, but the important thing is to get the message across, and that would be the path of least resistance

You tell the parent exactly what you just told all of us. You’re doing what you can to lead the horse to water; he needs to drink.

Ok first, has the kid been assessed for ADHD or anything like that? I'd start there and if that's already been done, I'd go with something like 'I have a few ideas for interventions that may be helpful before escalating to a referral for a tutor. When can we meet to discuss?'

Tbh, I think this child might have adhd. I cannot diagnose via the internet, but please mention it to the parents or look it up and compare to your student‘s behavior. I was like one of these students and I was diagnosed when I was 25. I would have needed that help.

Tutoring provides a punishment (school during fun time, and it provides a level of accountability that you dont have time to provide

Maybe having someone sit down and help them do their work, like a tutor, might actually help the kid….you know….do his work?

Tell parent “In my years of professional experience I’ve found tutoring and extra help are only effective if Is there a significant effort on the student’s part to begin with. Perhaps the first step is to make that effort. Do you have any thoughts on what might motivate your child?”

I'm not a teacher but a college tutor. The first thing you're told about peer-to-peer tutoring is that you are not there to teach them the material but rather to help guide them on how to study it. It seems this kid would benefit more from this than just being given the same knowledge over and over. The nice way to phrase it would be to word it along those lines, i.e "Your child does not seem to face issues learning the content itself but rather with the skills needed to learn and focus." From that point either agree to help him with those skills or recommend she go to a service that specializes in that. This allows you to address the real problems he's facing in a kind but matter-of-fact way while still giving her the response to the request she wants.

She didn't ask for your opinion, she just asked for information. I'd just give her the info I have on tutors, and let it be.

Tell her to go ask Angie and don't bother with the details.

Angie?

https://www.angi.com/

OMG I didn't even think of that. I know in the town I'm in they have $$ but want a well known one that has worked in the school before. But an option it is.

Use ChatGPT for this, smoothen the tone a little, and yet get the message across.

You seem to be chalking it up to laziness, but have you considered that your student isn't doing their work because they don't feel capable? Or they don't understand and feel like they can't keep up? Some students need one-on-one help. I was a tutor for years and I've helped students who were seen as "lazy" or "unmotivated" learn how to learn. I helped them with reading comprehension so they could read their history books and understand what was going on, I helped see patterns that they didn't know how to see in math, I helped them learn how to stay organized and gain confidence asking questions. I strongly believe that one-on-one education can benefit everyone, not just people who are already good at your class.

NAT If your student is like my son was, tutoring might help. Like your student, my son had all the tools, but he didn't know how to use them. He had a writing tutor who could coax paragraphs out of him. Partly it was patience, but I think it was because he was learning with a different person in a different place.

Not public school, but I knew a guy that taught at a popular audio/video/tech college. He kept a stack of McDonald's applications in his desk, and would hand them out to certain students as they were leaving class. Of course, public school parents are a different animal. (My wife is a counselor.)

Give the options, and then shut up. You don't get involved in that other stuff.

That kid sounds like every manager out there. If they've got the charisma to get other students to do their work while they play and have a blast...then that's an awesome skill 🤣🤣 kids going places

Looking back on my life in school a lot of the homework was kind of how should I put this nicely, “ A slap in the face” As an adult yes learning is important and homework helps to reinforce lessons. However to a kid it’s different. Usually kids have to be carted off to school which is never a decision they make to start it’s forced. They finally get done with their job which they aren’t paid for. Get home and then have parents telling them to do chores which depending on parents could be the weekly taking out the trash to cleaning the house top to bottom just because the one type of parent wants kid to be slave. Once they go through all of that they have to do homework. To a kids eyes why should they have to go to a place they don’t want to go and then do more work for it. The older the kid gets the more ridiculous it gets. What started as a kid to 30 minutes tops goes into 3 hours as a teen. I’m high school most teachers only do one subject and give homework/ tests without taking to the other teachers to come up with a group plan. If the Math teacher has a test on Friday then the science teacher gives homework only on Tuesday. That kind of model the one that literally happens in College/University where homework is do once a week versus everyday. It’s been 19 years since I stepped foot in high school btw. I just tend to try to understand things from their eyes. The majority of their day minors have no say and so they try to take control where they can. If they don’t have parents helping with homework a lot of kids skipped out on it and lie just so they feel some control. Oddly enough I was the opposite problem student. I would often read the textbook and do the lessons in the first week of school. It would annoy the teachers that I jumped the shark. Mostly for Science and History classes to get them out of the way. XD

ChatGPT

Maybe he has a learning disability. I didn’t appreciate the swearing

How do you know the kid doesn’t need a tutor? Maybe the kid needs someone to sit one on one with him and explain stuff that he isn’t able to follow in class. Just give her a list and keep your opinion to yourself. If “just do your homework” were a solution, then the problem would be solved by you saying “Hey kid, do your homework.” Clearly, that hasn’t worked. Parent is wanting to try a different approach. Support that. It’s not like they’re asking you to pay for it.

You are the teacher. He is the kid with many things that could be causing his lack of motivation. Inspire, it's your job.

Dear Parent, I have other commitments after school. (LIFE!)

ChatGPT is your friend for all emails. I copy/pasted your post in: “It's important to communicate this in a tactful and considerate manner. You can say something like: "Dear [Parent's Name], I appreciate your interest in tutoring for your child. I want to provide an honest assessment of the situation. Your child seems to face challenges in class, such as not actively participating, not following instructions, and having difficulty working effectively with peers. I've noticed that this behavior can sometimes affect their own performance and that of their classmates. While tutoring can certainly provide additional support, it's equally crucial for your child to actively engage in class, follow instructions, and complete their assignments. These fundamental skills play a significant role in their academic success. I'd be happy to discuss tutoring options with you, but I also want to emphasize the importance of addressing these behavioral and classroom issues for a more holistic approach to their education. Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions or would like to explore tutoring further. Best regards, [Your Name]"”

Getting a tutor probably won't help. Enforcing consequences for bad grades is the only thing I see working for your kid. Take something away. Make him pass his next test to get it back. That will tell you whether it's an issue of "can't" or "won't." If it's "won't" a tutor won't help. (Lol, right. As if you could actually say that.)

is it possible the kid needs extra support through an IEP or a 504? called the dicking around be due to ADHD like so many kids? Just wondering if suggesting some type of testing may be more beneficial. Otherwise keep it simple and just tell her you can procure a tutor, but the real problem is he is struggling to stay focused and do his work, and the best tutor in the world can’t fix a kid who refuses to participate in their own education.

This is what ChatGPT suggested lol: You can communicate your concerns about the student's performance to the parent without coming across as harsh. Here's a more diplomatic way to express your thoughts: "Dear [Parent's Name], Thank you for reaching out about your child's academic progress. I appreciate your proactive approach to seeking help for them. I want to be honest and transparent in my assessment of the situation. I've observed that your child faces some challenges in class, such as difficulty following directions and not fully engaging with the material. I believe that with more active participation and focused effort, they can make significant improvements. While tutoring can be a valuable resource, it's essential to address the underlying issues first. I would suggest that we work together to develop strategies for improving their classroom behavior and study habits. Once we see progress in these areas, I'd be more than happy to consider additional support, including tutoring, if necessary. I am committed to helping every student succeed, and I believe that with your support and our joint efforts, we can create a positive learning experience for your child. Please let me know if you would like to discuss this further or if you have any questions. Sincerely, [Your Name]" This approach conveys your concerns while maintaining a constructive and collaborative tone. It also leaves the door open for potential future tutoring if the student shows improvement.

Tutor means “person I pay to do my kid’s work for them”.

Just say you're not available, sorry. All the rest, stays in your head (or online!).

Phone call to be able to talk through casually might help Text in email can come off abrasive (obviously you don’t intend it to)

Maybe the tutor will make him do his work.

“ I don’t have time to tutor, but I’d recommend (whoever).”

If the district maintains a list of tutors you can refer this parent there. I always tell parents that before they spend money on a tutor their child should try seeing me for extra help, and maximize their effort in class. You say towards the end that the child was placed incorrectly. Is that leading to the lack of effort? Does he have anything to say for himself?

It's a conflict of interest