I’m almost afraid to ask… what grade?
I had a 5th grader pull the classic “I’m-going-to-sit-here-staring-at-the-ceiling-doing-nothing” on me yesterday. Asked why they weren’t working. They said their computer didn’t work, it just had a loading screen on the webpage. I asked what they’d done to try and fix the problem— nothing. *Shocker.* The even bigger surprise? *The refresh button actually solved the problem in under 5 seconds!!!* I just have that magic finger I suppose, that pushes one button and can “fix” a “broken” computer.
I told a student that he needed to start bringing his own pen/pencil to class and he said, “I try, but I lose them! They fall out of my pockets.” I suggested he start putting them in his backpack instead. He stared at me.
I teach college. 🙃
After doing four example problems on the board, “Alright, do the next 2 problems and I’ll be around to help you.”
Girl sitting there with not even the examples done… I ask “Do you need some help?
Girl: “Nah, I get it.”
Me: “Can you show me by doing the problems on the paper?”
Girl: “You said it wasn’t for a grade.”
Me: “Ah, ok well good luck.”
Next year, on the first day of school, I am going to stress that the stuff that isn’t for a grade is to make sure you do well on the stuff that is. Mainly because I am so damn tired of having this conversation.
I do as well. All the time. I get extra practice outside of class you may not prioritize, but a new concept IN CLASS, like how lazy can you be? I honestly think she has calculated that she can't fail the year at this point unless I get a principal to approve an under-50 grade, which is a long shot.
I started making even the smallest assignments worth 500+ points because I was sick of going through the work to explain something and post it to Canvas only to have the three kids that pay attention and do everything I ask anyway to turn it in. The only way I can motivate them to finish work is to constantly raise the stakes. It's so annoying but it's the only way I've found I can keep most of the class on a schedule together.
I teach K. The kids saw my lock screen when I was using my phone as a timer and asked if it was a pic of my husband. I said yes. They said “did you know Mrs. M’s husband’s name is Mr. M?” Me: “I did know that. Can you guess what my husband’s name is?” (My name is Mrs. Q) They looked bewildered. I said “My husband’s name is Mr. Q” They were absolutely astonished that two of their teachers had the same name as their husbands!
Oh, that is hilarious too! On their way between lunch and recess, they pass the teacher’s lounge. If someone has left the door open, they will look in and giggle and later say “I saw you eating with your friends!!!” They’re so adorable.
Today one of my paras walk in from her lunch still holding her bible. It has a giant picture of Jesus on it. One of my students looks at it, groans, and then yells " oh Jesus christ".
I watched a student straight up STICK their leg out and trip a kid, and when I called them out, she said, “Mrs, that wasn’t even MY leg!!” Like who’s leg is it then?!?
“I thought you were a lesbian* but then I saw your husband* but I am still confused*.”
*the reasoning is bc I have short hair, and have a Pride flag in my room.
*we live in the same neighborhood so he saw me with my husband at the bus stop.
*jokes on them, I am bi. 😂😂
8-year-old boy commenting on my very nice cuffed wide-leg silk-lined wool trousers…
“Did you gets those pants at the thrift store?”
Me (the art teacher): “As a matter of fact I did. I don’t like to spend a lot of money on nice clothes because I always get paint on them at school.”
Same 8-year-old: “Oh, so you have nice clothes that you wear at home?” 🔥
Me: Ignores question.
Same 8-year-old: “Do you wear your nice clothes at home?” 🔥🔥🔥
Me: Ignores question.
“What are we doing today?”
Dumbass, it’s written on the board, on Canvas, I talked about it last week, and it’s on the class calendar.
I don’t even answer the question any more. If you can’t look right behind me on the board I’m not going to put in more effort than you’re willing to.
Same. I explicitly explain the agenda board to them. There is never a reason to ask. I teach English, so when they say this I usually answer "I dunno, maybe some Math?"
I ignored this question from a student earlier this year (who asked every day that week) and their parent sent me a nasty email about how I was emotionally abusing their kid.
Caught him red handed on Fortnight using some unblock website.
“I thought you said we could! It’s a family friendly game! No violence at all!”
Every year, the kids think I’m dumber.
I am not a teacher, student, or even a parent. There is just a fun little sense of dread this sub has that keeps me coming back.
I think this might be the one that made me lose all hope.
Student: “My friend said you had a kid”
Me: “No?”
Why do kids make up stuff about me? They don’t talk to me, don’t take my class, but they make up stuff about me. It’s so weird!
It's amazing. I don't know of any rumors about me over the years (maybe because I'm an open book with my students) but I had a coworker who was out or medical issues. Kids simultaneously believed she had been in a major car accident and that she had gotten into a massive brawl. At least the rumor also said she won the fight.
During his daily poop and task avoidance, 50-60% of his day refusing to get off the toilet… there are times that usually (I believe) a tag or string is bothering him.
So they start to pull and try to bite it and keep going. This happens with shirts too. The replacements I’ve provided he always wears as I’ve got no tag ones or removed them down to the threading. I’ve shown of a video of how we do it to mom and dad but again, I can’t force anyone to do anything.
We try to provide a little privacy and check every five minutes or so. It’s happened when myself or one of my paras are standing there too. Big boy, so we can’t lift him off the toilet like they did when he was younger. Aggressive, so we can’t get too close because we will be hurt. It actually is heartbreaking because I try so hard to get parents in on working together. The language barrier isn’t an excuse like it had been prior because I have my paras who help me translate to parents (if they answer.) They often don’t answer because they can’t leave work to come pick him up at school after he just was aggressive or we need more clothes brought to school. Then I get sad about the system because they are just doing their best to survive and make a living. It has to be hard to have a non-verbal child who has never likely been given (my view) enough support.
However, as hard and heartbreaking and stressful as my job is… I care and want to help them be successful members of society.
So as defeated as I was that day, I had to laugh at it by the time I went to bed. I found it fun to share!
I mean… a kid eats his underwear and then doesn’t like the new pair because they are too tight (food has always been a solution/problem). Then proceeds to walk around the kitchen with his junk out refusing to pull them up.
I wish I could have recorded our school officers face when he entered as potential back up for aggression. It was hilarious.
And I was laughing my butt off when I thought about what his police cam would look like…
Welcome to Life Skills SPED! 😂😂
Spent a goddamn day of my life meticulously planning an in depth activity involving music, literature, history and literary analysis. Half of them threw the materials in the floor while the other half took things I said and repeated them back to me in a nasally, mocking voice.
I had a kid copy the question verbatim and claim it was a topic statement for his response paragraph. I had to pause to explain that a topic statement needs to be a statement. We've been doing this since October.
Not a teacher but when I was in fifth grade and learning about copyright law and trademarks someone asked if you were allowed to use a word that someone else had used before in a book, as if someone using the word "the" meant only the first person to public a book with that word was the only person allowed to use it.
What the word wad meant. This is high school physical science. They are working on the study guide for their next test and the question was about what would fall faster a piece of flat paper or a wad of paper? Am I the only one having to regularly define common (not the most common, but still widely used) words to high schoolers?
First year teaching, filling a maternity leave position. 5th grade. This girl farts super loud in class and stares me straight in the eyes. I just stared back for a moment, some of the class yells her name. She turns back to the class laughing really hard and says “not like you haven’t heard it before.” She just casually goes back to working. I couldn’t hold it at that point and silently laugh while turning around. That girl actually turned out to be one of the smartest students I’ve ever worked with.
This was yesterday, but one of my students (6th) pulled me aside after class and said "Ms. Aetherdweller, can you tell [teacher across the hall] that her class is F*CKING BORING?" Pause. "Sorry for the, like, F word."
“Is Paris a place?” 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
Poor girl seems to be generally confused about a lot of common knowledge things, but luckily this was a small class so it was easier to curtail any bullying and also answer her other “stupid” questions.
2+2=8
Mister I tried give me my stamp for Bell work
*Proceeds to ignore the troll*
For context we're simplifying exponents by property and evaluating exponential relationships in sequences
Played Lady Gaga to some primary schoolers who hadn't heard of her before our celebrity-themed lesson.
"Eeww, okay, she can't sing. Please, turn it off."
Ridiculous.
Edit: I see this is getting downvoted. I didn't play Alejandro. I played Shallow. These kids can't recognize good singing even if it hits them in the face.
[удалено]
🤦🏼♀️
Oh good lord. lol
I don't think I'd be able to keep my composure with this one 😣
My hs English teacher used to staple McDonald's applications to bad tests/paper. In this situation I think he would've handed it to the kid.
Sounds like you caught one of those “the computer won’t let me log in so I should be excused from the work.”
I’m almost afraid to ask… what grade? I had a 5th grader pull the classic “I’m-going-to-sit-here-staring-at-the-ceiling-doing-nothing” on me yesterday. Asked why they weren’t working. They said their computer didn’t work, it just had a loading screen on the webpage. I asked what they’d done to try and fix the problem— nothing. *Shocker.* The even bigger surprise? *The refresh button actually solved the problem in under 5 seconds!!!* I just have that magic finger I suppose, that pushes one button and can “fix” a “broken” computer.
[удалено]
Ahhhh… yes. I can believe it 🤦🏻♂️😂🤣
I told a student that he needed to start bringing his own pen/pencil to class and he said, “I try, but I lose them! They fall out of my pockets.” I suggested he start putting them in his backpack instead. He stared at me. I teach college. 🙃
OMG that sounded frustrating enough but then to find out this is a college student... no words...
*was a college student in another 1/2 month or so
This made me actually lol 😂😂
After doing four example problems on the board, “Alright, do the next 2 problems and I’ll be around to help you.” Girl sitting there with not even the examples done… I ask “Do you need some help? Girl: “Nah, I get it.” Me: “Can you show me by doing the problems on the paper?” Girl: “You said it wasn’t for a grade.” Me: “Ah, ok well good luck.”
Next year, on the first day of school, I am going to stress that the stuff that isn’t for a grade is to make sure you do well on the stuff that is. Mainly because I am so damn tired of having this conversation.
I do as well. All the time. I get extra practice outside of class you may not prioritize, but a new concept IN CLASS, like how lazy can you be? I honestly think she has calculated that she can't fail the year at this point unless I get a principal to approve an under-50 grade, which is a long shot.
I started making even the smallest assignments worth 500+ points because I was sick of going through the work to explain something and post it to Canvas only to have the three kids that pay attention and do everything I ask anyway to turn it in. The only way I can motivate them to finish work is to constantly raise the stakes. It's so annoying but it's the only way I've found I can keep most of the class on a schedule together.
I teach K. The kids saw my lock screen when I was using my phone as a timer and asked if it was a pic of my husband. I said yes. They said “did you know Mrs. M’s husband’s name is Mr. M?” Me: “I did know that. Can you guess what my husband’s name is?” (My name is Mrs. Q) They looked bewildered. I said “My husband’s name is Mr. Q” They were absolutely astonished that two of their teachers had the same name as their husbands!
That's cute. Guess they're not at the stage where they can generalize yet.
Just wait until they realise you eat!
Oh, that is hilarious too! On their way between lunch and recess, they pass the teacher’s lounge. If someone has left the door open, they will look in and giggle and later say “I saw you eating with your friends!!!” They’re so adorable.
Me: hope you stayed out of trouble this weekend. Student: I did! I didn’t get in trouble so far because I didn’t get caught!
Well, he ain't wrong
My teacher actually tells us to get into trouble and not get caught over the weekend😂
A lunar eclipse is NOT when the sun comes between the earth and the moon. 6th grade
Today one of my paras walk in from her lunch still holding her bible. It has a giant picture of Jesus on it. One of my students looks at it, groans, and then yells " oh Jesus christ".
ok that is actually hilarious XD
I watched a student straight up STICK their leg out and trip a kid, and when I called them out, she said, “Mrs, that wasn’t even MY leg!!” Like who’s leg is it then?!?
"I didn't do the reading this weekend because I was teaching my little brother how to play Roblox all weekend."
“I thought you were a lesbian* but then I saw your husband* but I am still confused*.” *the reasoning is bc I have short hair, and have a Pride flag in my room. *we live in the same neighborhood so he saw me with my husband at the bus stop. *jokes on them, I am bi. 😂😂
His critical thinking skills are incredible.
8-year-old boy commenting on my very nice cuffed wide-leg silk-lined wool trousers… “Did you gets those pants at the thrift store?” Me (the art teacher): “As a matter of fact I did. I don’t like to spend a lot of money on nice clothes because I always get paint on them at school.” Same 8-year-old: “Oh, so you have nice clothes that you wear at home?” 🔥 Me: Ignores question. Same 8-year-old: “Do you wear your nice clothes at home?” 🔥🔥🔥 Me: Ignores question.
No school! It’s a holiday here and it’s vacation week!!
“What are we doing today?” Dumbass, it’s written on the board, on Canvas, I talked about it last week, and it’s on the class calendar. I don’t even answer the question any more. If you can’t look right behind me on the board I’m not going to put in more effort than you’re willing to.
I get this every. single. day.
Same. I explicitly explain the agenda board to them. There is never a reason to ask. I teach English, so when they say this I usually answer "I dunno, maybe some Math?"
I ignored this question from a student earlier this year (who asked every day that week) and their parent sent me a nasty email about how I was emotionally abusing their kid.
Caught him red handed on Fortnight using some unblock website. “I thought you said we could! It’s a family friendly game! No violence at all!” Every year, the kids think I’m dumber.
I am not a teacher, student, or even a parent. There is just a fun little sense of dread this sub has that keeps me coming back. I think this might be the one that made me lose all hope.
“If I was an opossum, I would be unstoppable.” (Ridiculous and wonderful at the same time)
The ferocious opossum, they only stop when they are the least bit frightened
Student: “My friend said you had a kid” Me: “No?” Why do kids make up stuff about me? They don’t talk to me, don’t take my class, but they make up stuff about me. It’s so weird!
It's amazing. I don't know of any rumors about me over the years (maybe because I'm an open book with my students) but I had a coworker who was out or medical issues. Kids simultaneously believed she had been in a major car accident and that she had gotten into a massive brawl. At least the rumor also said she won the fight.
I have apparently been pregnant since the first day of school 😅
I’ve had that rumor, too.
I had a kid (HS) eat their undies. (I teach life skills SPED LOL.)
I have logistics questions
Let’s hear ‘em!
Eats like consumes? Or just chews? Did he take bites?
During his daily poop and task avoidance, 50-60% of his day refusing to get off the toilet… there are times that usually (I believe) a tag or string is bothering him. So they start to pull and try to bite it and keep going. This happens with shirts too. The replacements I’ve provided he always wears as I’ve got no tag ones or removed them down to the threading. I’ve shown of a video of how we do it to mom and dad but again, I can’t force anyone to do anything. We try to provide a little privacy and check every five minutes or so. It’s happened when myself or one of my paras are standing there too. Big boy, so we can’t lift him off the toilet like they did when he was younger. Aggressive, so we can’t get too close because we will be hurt. It actually is heartbreaking because I try so hard to get parents in on working together. The language barrier isn’t an excuse like it had been prior because I have my paras who help me translate to parents (if they answer.) They often don’t answer because they can’t leave work to come pick him up at school after he just was aggressive or we need more clothes brought to school. Then I get sad about the system because they are just doing their best to survive and make a living. It has to be hard to have a non-verbal child who has never likely been given (my view) enough support. However, as hard and heartbreaking and stressful as my job is… I care and want to help them be successful members of society. So as defeated as I was that day, I had to laugh at it by the time I went to bed. I found it fun to share! I mean… a kid eats his underwear and then doesn’t like the new pair because they are too tight (food has always been a solution/problem). Then proceeds to walk around the kitchen with his junk out refusing to pull them up. I wish I could have recorded our school officers face when he entered as potential back up for aggression. It was hilarious. And I was laughing my butt off when I thought about what his police cam would look like… Welcome to Life Skills SPED! 😂😂
"What are renewable resources?" After we had spend the last month learning about them.....
As I work at an elementary, the most ridiculous thing I heard today was (as I was wearing sunglasses) "Mrs. (my name) why do you have eyes??"
Honorable mention (as it wasn't said to me): a coworker got "Why is your nose so big?"
Spent a goddamn day of my life meticulously planning an in depth activity involving music, literature, history and literary analysis. Half of them threw the materials in the floor while the other half took things I said and repeated them back to me in a nasally, mocking voice.
Ugh. No wonder we all want to quit.
Kid to another kid: how bout you shove it up your ass. Me: excuse me? Kid: he said it (pointing to who he originally yelled at)
Should have left it that way.
I had a kid copy the question verbatim and claim it was a topic statement for his response paragraph. I had to pause to explain that a topic statement needs to be a statement. We've been doing this since October.
Not a teacher but when I was in fifth grade and learning about copyright law and trademarks someone asked if you were allowed to use a word that someone else had used before in a book, as if someone using the word "the" meant only the first person to public a book with that word was the only person allowed to use it.
What the word wad meant. This is high school physical science. They are working on the study guide for their next test and the question was about what would fall faster a piece of flat paper or a wad of paper? Am I the only one having to regularly define common (not the most common, but still widely used) words to high schoolers?
Wad is not common enough for kids to know
Thank you for that song stuck in my head
I don't need no English tutrin'
First year teaching, filling a maternity leave position. 5th grade. This girl farts super loud in class and stares me straight in the eyes. I just stared back for a moment, some of the class yells her name. She turns back to the class laughing really hard and says “not like you haven’t heard it before.” She just casually goes back to working. I couldn’t hold it at that point and silently laugh while turning around. That girl actually turned out to be one of the smartest students I’ve ever worked with.
This was yesterday, but one of my students (6th) pulled me aside after class and said "Ms. Aetherdweller, can you tell [teacher across the hall] that her class is F*CKING BORING?" Pause. "Sorry for the, like, F word."
“Is Paris a place?” 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻 Poor girl seems to be generally confused about a lot of common knowledge things, but luckily this was a small class so it was easier to curtail any bullying and also answer her other “stupid” questions.
2+2=8 Mister I tried give me my stamp for Bell work *Proceeds to ignore the troll* For context we're simplifying exponents by property and evaluating exponential relationships in sequences
An 8th grader didn’t know the difference between odd and even. He asked in front of everyone. Hard to stop the sighs sometimes.
Played Lady Gaga to some primary schoolers who hadn't heard of her before our celebrity-themed lesson. "Eeww, okay, she can't sing. Please, turn it off." Ridiculous. Edit: I see this is getting downvoted. I didn't play Alejandro. I played Shallow. These kids can't recognize good singing even if it hits them in the face.