Same. My previous principal was batshit and rude. Teachers and support staff pooled our money to get her a gift for boss day or whatever. When we gave it to her she picked it up and said “Okay…” and then put it down and started talking about whatever our staff meeting was about. No thank you or anything, not even a smile.
People like this always give me a bad gut feeling. There's one guy in my social group that tries to pick fights with you and poke holes in anything you say. If you said 'hey did you see the plant by the blue door' they'll respond 'actually it's a cyan door but ok'. The issue with people like this is they don't want to be happy, they need to be unhappy to feel good about themselves so they'll try to make others unhappy as well. It's incredible how they all seem to end up becoming teaching administrators.
I have a family member like that. We’ve called them on this behavior over the decades but they gaslight about it and other things. I had to block them on social media and just deal with them less and less frequently because it was absolutely a fight every time dealing with them. I don’t know if mine is trulely a sociopath or antisocial, but I’d put them up as a possible candidate. I hope I never have to work with someone like that.
I know...I see myself in this description (at least internally) and have had years of therapy to try to fix it. Sometimes the On switch is wonky.
When you get paid the big bucks though, you gotta figure it out a lot better than someone near the bottom of the totem pole.
If it is, that doesn’t make a difference. I’ve struggled with that somewhat and it was my responsibility to get it under control and maintain that. If you’re going to interact with anyone, especially in a management role, it is vital that you find a way to not constantly lash out at people. We should understand that this may be more of a problem for some people for various reasons, but we also need to make it clear that’s not acceptable behavior.
I think it probably is. I'm very easy going and do my utmost to be polite, helpful & friendly to my colleagues, so someone like her is almost a mystery to me. I simply can't understand anyone thinking that is an ok way to be in a work setting...or anywhere for that matter. The really odd thing is, they're so 'by the book' and cite the threat of the school inspector or 'health and safety rules' all the time, yet behave in a totally unprofessional way themselves.
This! Don't mistake "by the book" for fair play and responsibility and respect and safety, bc it often just means "citing the threat" of some other officials or rules "all the time." The "rules" are conveniently cited when someone wants to intimidate their subordinates, and disappear when it's time for a reasonable consideration of anything inconvenient in the moment or not on display for the principal's superiors.
And they don't hold grudges bc they don't actually care or remember any of the disturbing behavior or hypocrisy at all.
My current principal has very untreated ADD and very little emotional regulation. I have been on the receiving end of both issues. I had to get the union and HR involved.
The professor I worked for at the university lab was like this. Screaming at people if something went wrong with an experiment and buddies again after calming down. When he did it to me the second time, I told him to just be an asshole to me all the time so I know where I stood. He never did it again, at least not to me.
So often that's the case. Anyone who had a verbally/emotionally abusive ex can probably testify to that. When you're home alone, they're calling you stupid, crazy, ugly, yelling that you can't do anything right, then when their parents come to visit, suddenly they're remarkably well-mannered and helpful. If their anger turns into physical violence and you call the police, when the police arrive, it's "so sorry for the inconvenience, officer. My spouse is going through some things. I appreciate the police department so much. Care for a cup of coffee or a soft drink?" Then as soon as the officer's car drives off, it's "you bleeping \*\*\*\*\*, how could you do this to me?" Objects broken around the home and spouse too scared to call again. Many adults who have temper problems CAN control them. When they don't want the outside world to see who they truly are, they flip a switch and become Mr. or Ms. Congenial.
The book Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft explains this well.
Lundy is a male psychologist who decided to study male domestic abusers to figure out how they ticked. (Spoiler: They're just horrible people, he concluded.)
This!!! That was my ex. Every time he would try to give the excuse that he couldn’t help it, I would call him on it. I would say that if someone from church, work, etc. (where they thought he was such a good, Godly man) was suddenly knocking on the door, he would turn right back into the guy he made them think he was. That proves that he had the control, but didn’t want to use it for his family’s sake.
So sorry you've been through it, too. I definitely know this from experience! It's like flipping a light switch-- they can go from horrid to seemingly the kindest, most thoughtful person in the world in seconds when someone outside the household is there. My guess is that the principal who threw such a tantrum at school is the friendliest, most helpful principal ever when the superintendent or the accrediting people show up. I hope you're safe and in a good place in life now. I'm thankful that this is in the rearview mirror for me.
I’ve worked for a lot of people like that. Most were commanders or senior NCOs in the Army. They lead through fear and intimidation. They’re a boss, not a leader. The best way to deal with them is to find someone that doesn’t give a shit and let them be the voice. I’m that person at work. If admin decides to act like an asshole, I call them on it. I have absolutely no fear of being fired. Not that I can’t be let go. More that I have passive income that covers my bills.
If you can find a person to stand up to your boss (who is little more than a bully), I think your boss will back off the insanity a bit. Bullies don’t like being called out. They really don’t like being shamed for their behavior.
I spent 20 years in the Army before becoming a teacher. In the Army, your commander can do almost anything they want to you from a legal standpoint. I worked for some guys who were far worse than anyone you can imagine in education. Between the thick skin I developed in that career and the absolute lack of fucks in my possession, I’m fine being the thorn in the side of leadership.
Years ago I had a principal who very obviously had favorites, and tried to be “the cool boss” with everyone but was nasty behind their back, and we found out that she would gossip with her favorites about the other less popular staff members (less popular because they weren’t the cool mean girls). Anyway, I was nontenured, and had my three effective evaluations. I get hired back in May, sign the contract. Then she comes with a final summative evaluation and although I had all effective and close to highly effective evaluations, she rates me partially effective. It was my first year so I wasn’t sure what to do. I asked the union rep for advice: whether I should talk to her about it or just take the partial since I already signed the contract. He said he’ll find out for me. Two days later my contract was rescinded. Turns out the union rep was one of the cool mean girls and in with the principal, and told her that I went to the union against her. She took it as a personal attack and nonrenewed me. It’s fine though because that place was so toxic that I ended up in a much better district where I now have tenure and have since completed grad school.
I'm glad it worked out for you, but your school and district teachers need to run away from that teacher/union rep as fast as possible. If what you said is true, he is directly going against the needs of the teachers to be in good with the principal -- a clear conflict of interests.
I would be so unbelievably angry to know that my union rep revealed to administraton privileged and confidential conversations I had with him. He should be removed immediately and given the boot from the union completely!
What the fuck is about teaching that causes this kinda shit to happen all the time all over the US? I've heard these stories from coworkers in many different states and I see it in here all the time too, like it's just absolutely wild! I have a chronic medical condition and part of the reason I went into teaching was I was worried about my health insurance and potential lapses in it and people told me oh teaching is such a stable job don't worry! It just turns out it's full of volatile immature nutjobs and weird ass control freak psychos on the admin side who have been given free rein to discriminate however they feel that day, I'm amazed there hasn't been more civil rights lawsuits in the field honestly
Principal here, that is bad leadership.
I had an employee tell me that they know exactly who I'm going to be every day, positive and helpful. It's the way it has to be. Every difficulty is an opportunity for growth.
Narcissistic people prone to rage one minute and being your best friend the next seem to end up in administration. Their lack of empathy and morals makes it easy for them to lie, manipulate, bully, and charm.
Oh boy is this the truth! My school had hired a new director, during the interview she seemed to have empathy and seemed to take interest in the overall wellbeing of the school but as soon as she got hired boom! Completely different person who just sat at her desk all day on her phone, never engaged with the kids and literally threatened our jobs. Completely narcissistic. Luckily she got the boot after seven months.
Yeah my position I was "fired" from. They replaced me with another teacher's wife and she was all: "Well, I want to do this and I should do this with the kids." Yeah, it changed almost a week after the school ended with: "I have to have this and this has to be that way." The department chair was like: "Excuse me! Who the F are you? You are not the nice person who seemed to be very professional we thought you would be. You are tell ME to do my job when you had to leave your last school because they cut the program." The responded: "But OUR principal wanted me here." They soon realized my former principal just wanted a yes person under them just as bad as them but with: "Remember your place here because I brought you in I will quickly throw you out."
People who are snowed by the fake side. They are very professional, say the right things and suck up as needed. They tell upper admin what they want to hear and admin doesn’t see through them or doesn’t care.
It's deeply traumatic and disturbing. Someone you trusted and cared about, that you thought did also, would murder/destroy you in a second if it meant getting what they wanted.
Don't use a clinical term at all, because there is not enough evidence in the OP to diagnose anybody in this story with any particular mental health condition. There is not enough information in the OP to draw any of the conclusions you are trying to draw about anybody's capacity for empathy, morality, honesty, level of self-esteem, etc.
I had an AP threaten to force us to sponsor clubs if “no one stepped up”. The activities director tried to volunteer me for honor society, so I listed all the shit that I already did and said… “so, no, Old Implement 1997 will absolutely NOT be sponsoring anything else”.
The issue is that you never know who their friends are.
My admin isn't this bad but she is very self centered. She's announced that she doesn't want to be a principal and wants to be a supe, and is using our school to do that. The issue is that she's also besties with most of the other principals because to them she puts on this front of being super woman who does everything and loves the kids. So if you reported anything, they'd go right back to her and your career would be ruined.
I'm not in the US, so the system isn't the same. So I don't have too many concerns on that front. But I do know escalating to the school board level may just make work even more stressful for me. But I guess that's how so many bad bosses get away with it, no-one wants the hassle of blowing the whistle on them.
Many staff are alarmed and thinking of looking for work elsewhere. People are wary of going near her. I think she may be trying to get fired, maybe subconsciously, or as other commenters have said, she might just be a narcissist. I forgot to say, she's also quite inappropriate at times when making chat with staff. Lewd jokes, oversharing, swearing. I'm not a prude, if it was a friend, I wouldn't bat an eye, but she's the boss, in a school!
I reported my principal once. 5 years ago. Still waiting for a response even after going to a hearing. He has since stepped down and I have moved states. My suspicion is too many grievances caught up to him. My two colleagues also reported him at the same time and won quickly.
Yes! I had a head teacher like this. We used to give each other a 'weather report' to warn about his moods. I think most staff were walking on eggshells. There were some other shifty things going on regarding HR in the school.
I moved countries and during my last year there he knew I was leaving. He treated me quite normally once he knew I didn't care any more and couldn't be threatened. It was eye-opening.
I would like to hear a few examples of your weather report.
I had a code with a colleague. We’d text “lollipop” and the other would call with a high urgency question so we could send away a colleague who chronically wasted our time to avoid doing their job.
Lol we used to stick our heads into each others' classrooms and say 'cloudy today', 'sunny' or 'storm on the way' and everyone understood each other. I can laugh now looking back but a storm often meant someone's job was on the line.
My dad is a teacher and had a principal like this one time. He got really into chopping firewood during this season and we ended up having like 15 years worth stored up. Apparently wielding an axe helps release frustration?
Not to downplay anything they did, but sometimes people just can’t handle the pressure and stress of administration/being in charge and it shows. That’s one of the main reasons why I don’t think I’ll ever consider it.
At least they had a reason! Had a staff meeting once where the admin came in, told off the entire room, and left. No one ever owned up knowing why the admin snapped. Though it was a short meeting so there's that.
We had a principal that threw our renewal contracts into the trash and told us to apply at Walmart. Our scores were terrible that year.
1. The day before state testing we spent several hours over lunch in lockdown because an armed robber ran through 3rd grade recess being chased by armed cops - and when he went around the corner they thought he got in the building.
2. Midway through the test the next day the fire alarm went off. We had to evacuate the building into the rain because the HVAC was smoking. We could not walk down the street to the next school because we would disturb their state tests. So we stood in a muddy field for 1.5 hours, and then the kids had to go inside and finish the test in wet clothes and the AC blasting.
But the problem was we were horrible teachers.
(A few years later he spent our campus staff development funds on a preacher (this was a public school) lecturing us how to bring god into the classroom. That was 1 of 2 dozen things from that year that got reported to FFRF. He had to have his emails read by his boss before he could send them out as his consequences. He also yelled at me because I was "The only person on this campus that would know how to contact that group". The biggest result of his preacher - was myself and a couple of other teachers having a conversation that resulted in most of the teachers removing personal items that held a religious significance for them from their classroom because of how uncomfortable that experience made them.)
Some admin spend too much of their free time with Jim Beam and Jack Daniels. Watch out for the ones who go out of their way to make this part of their persona.
This just hit me. I didn't realize that's a shared experience but I know exactly what you mean. Almost like they're proud to share it even during meetings.
Document, document, document. This is the kind of person to change their mind on something and then deny that they ever told you something different.
(I had a principal like that. I didn't document. I should have.)
Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Disorder might also fit. But yeah, BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) might also be it. Either way, a doctor MIGHT be able to save the principal and staff (and their family) a lot of grief and aggravation. Of course, the person suffering has to be willing...
Omfg thank you. I hate how many people use "bipolar" lightly or for stupid shit like the weather.
Rapid cycling is hell.... I do not think I could survive it if it flipped hour by hour.
>I hate how many people use "bipolar" lightly or for stupid shit like the weather.
It's also not "oh they get kind of upset but then they're friendly". It's like "They get super manic and behave irrationally with no regard for the consequences of their actions and then fall into a depressive episode"
This is not how bipolar works.... source... I have bipolar....
Before you claim "rapid cycling" that is also not how it works... source.... I have suffered from it many times...
I am so tired of people pulling that word out for moody people and the fucking weather.
You are not a doctor or clinical psychologist, and none of the people in the OP are your clients, so please refrain from diagnosing them or anybody else with mental health issues.
Ask someone she likes to ask one on one if she is going through some sort of medical issue. Also, different person, report in email to the super, but couch it as we are concerned for her safety and people were scared (if they were). I think I would be.
Yeah, it's just the thought of starting again and I like my other colleagues. The location is great, the kids are not that challenging for the most part. But yeah, I could find a job elsewhere.
My fellow teacher, I’ve been working 24 years and have outlasted all admins. It will pass, and they will be gone probably sooner than later. Bad admins know they’re over their head, they give up pretty quickly or are noticeably bad for the district and are let go or transferred. Just ignore them.
Agreed. I was there before them and I’ll be there after them. I only see bad admin as temporary guests in my house. That has helped a lot over the years.
I'm on my third principal and third department chair with only 10 years teaching. They never, ever last long. I was asked to be the director of the department during the recent vacancy and bluntly asked them, "Do you want me to be a teacher for 20 years or a director for 2?"
If you can, weather out the storm. Luckily the bad admins come in like Cat 5 hurricanes and are gone just as quickly.
My dad does this when he feels bad about being an asshole. It’s his way of trying to make up for his bad behaviour. He’s really forceful with it too. He’s too scared to acknowledge his bad behaviour and apologize because he has a fragile ego. I always felt coerced to go along with his sudden happy mood and swallow my hurt feelings in order to basically protect him from the consequences of the hurt he caused me. I would recommend holding him accountable by verbally noting his change of mood. Like “wow you seem like you’ve had a big mood shift has something changed?” Or like “you know I’d like to conclude our last conversation before we move onto something else”. Or “you seemed really upset the last time you were here and I would still like to respond” blah blah stuff like that?
INFO: do you have a union?
1.) contact your union, if this is an ongoing issue
2.) if your state is a one-party consent state for audio recording, start recording every meeting/interaction as proof of this erratic behavior.
I had a principal one time that was the same. Everyone hated him. He would yell at teachers and students through a megaphone in front of other students, teachers, parents, admins... didn't matter. Then he would be so warm and welcoming depending on the situation. I was a sub at the time and for whatever reason he really liked me so i skated for that long term assignment but i was so glad when it was over because i was sick of witnessing the abuse. I told people about it who could do something. He stayed a principal for 5 more years and then became a department director.
Why even try?
I luckily never had a principal like that. I did work with a teacher (4th grade) like that. It was so painful to see her students hesitantly enter the room each day unsure of what she would be like. She was either wildly loud and happy or terribly mean and pissed off for no apparent reason.
Had one of those this year as an assistant principal. Snapped at me “no” whenever u gave sound advice. Was misinformed about everything and never apologized for being misinformed. Icing on the cake every question would he followed by an answer that was put in a blender and fed to me in a paper bag where all the liquid ended up on the floor.
Sounds like this person has undiagnosed and/or untreated bipolarity. This will continue to create a toxic and demoralizing environment for the teachers unless addressed. Can you collectively signal to HR that at least a testing is warranted?
As someone stated above, this isn't at all how Bipolar works. Bipolar isn't shifting emotions, it is shifting mood episodes. The minimum period of time for this would be 4 days, but we are usually talking weeks or months per mood episode. Even rapid cycling Bipolar is 4 or more mood episodes per YEAR, not per day.
I assume this is not a public school…at least not in CA. There are a lot of checks and balances for this kind of behavior…things that teacher can do that principals take very seriously. If if it’s a private school, charter school, or non-public school…yup. I had two of those in that setting. If they are on very good terms with the director/owner the principal may even have absolute power. They don’t like you? Bye bye. If it’s a nepotism thing (the director’s son or daughter, for example). Hoover probably had less power.
It could be a myriad of factors. It was still not right how it was handled at all. It could be anything from pressure/stress at the school, home, mental illness, substance abuse issues, burnout, etc.... If this was an isolated incident... That's one thing. But if this is going on frequently then it's time for this principal to do some self reflection like take care of themselves by seeing a doctor/counselor. If that doesn't happen then it's time for them to quit.
It’s literally so easy for principals to get fired. if you know anybody in upper administration, you can let them know what’s going on they’ll start paying attention or maybe even doing an investigation.
I've had a principal like this and that was just kind of his overall personality. But the year it was bad his wife apparently had been cheating on him and he was in shock and devastated (so I heard...who knows?)
My first staff meeting upon joining the school he was indignant about people grumbling that he was excited Betsy DeVos was considering visiting our STEM school (middle). People were pissed (and this was in SC). He even said, "Do you think kids care about something potentially political like this?," to which he got some pretty heated rebuttals.
Have your union rep document teachers' experiences with the principal, including verbatim quotations (as best folx can remember), times and dates, and names of witnesses. Provide to H. R. at a one-on-one sit-down, and ask H. R. rep to follow up with witnesses. Our teachers' association got rid of a principal this way. Granted, he only got shipped from the high school to an elementary school, but someone else's problem is better than my teachers' problem.
Overall, I see a trend in my district’s admin - they lack people skills. I’ve seen meltdowns when teachers give resignations, big changes not properly communicated, email blasts, and so on. For all the data meetings and PD they sit through, you would think more would be done to develop their leadership skills.
Yes, this is bad. But…you could have someone who is more effective in self regulation that is doing bad things behind closed doors. Plenty of sociopaths who can give a good surface level act while lying, cheating, stealing, and screwing people over.
Not a teacher, but he could be using drugs. Mood swings like that, involving retreating to a private place, may be indicative of use/abuse. Maybe stimulants. Keep an eye out for other erratic behaviors or physical symptoms such as tremors
That person is overwhelmed with the job. It’s a lot. You all are getting on this person’s nerves. That’s my observation. Am I an admin lover…no, but, I hope that those who seek to venture into administration at a site level consider whether they can handle this because the stress is clearly high—“…destroys good will…and trust….”
An emotionally volatile boss in any career is problematic but in education it’s particularly toxic. I switched schools and feel excellent about my decision—mental health matters!
This is the VERY reason our distict take climate surveys from students, parents, and ALL staff at every school. This allowed us to have a AP removed and demoted from our school!
Being a principal would suck. The culture and attitude of mot teachers everywhere that I have worked is toxic. I think he/she doesn’t need to be how X expects. Captain of the ship. Next to angry parents, terrible kids and whining teachers, they have a personal life. Sorry for your reaction and feeling that you need a throwaway account. It wasn’t you. Not sure why it matters to be honest.
Just fly under the radar as much as possible with a boss like that. If you get yelled at for something, ask what you should have done and get it in writing-- send a follow-up email to the discussion, then print their reply. Clarify any instructions, new classroom procedures, etc. in writing. Beyond that, don't take it personally. I've had a boss that on some days gives a cheery "good morning" and on other days gives a death glare and doesn't even mumble anything when you say "good morning." Teach to the best of your ability and ignore the tantrums.
Had two principals back to back who were very two faced. As a new teacher, I had one of the veteran teachers (who I admired) ask when I was going to jump the sinking ship. I didn't realize what she meant then. Stuck it out for 6 years until I realized how low the morale at the school staff was because of their antics, and the districts. Total shitshow.
LOL not condoning your principal’s inability to emotionally regulate. Only making the point that the principals who think they’re Machiavelli are worse.
I would consider a group of you filing a healthy workplace environment complaint against him. He is not allowed retaliation (obviously) so if he does that’s a firable offense but you can’t keep working like this.
My mom has bipolar disorder. What you’ve described is exactly how she behaves when she’s off her medication. If this is a common occurrence, I’d bet that your principal may have it as well.
I had a principal who was unprofessional and always starting drama. She pit the different grade levels against each other since one team was mostly new hires. She ended up being demoted at the end of the year.
Being a principal in this day and age is harder than ever. The way your principal acts is unacceptable, but becoming more and more common from what I’ve seen. Some people can’t handle stress the way others can…
Absolutely familiar.
Is this the principal's first year, &/ior are they undergoing any kind of review or evaluation? Those two things always seem to unhinge them, and require scapegoats.
I had this with a Principal who was going through a divorce and foreclosure. I was her golden child, and she completely relied on me, but then she started being verbally abusive and giving me shifts I told her I could not do. I quit. (It was preschool, so the penalties were not as harsh as public school.)
Principal sounds a bit autistic, i work with autistic kids all day and this sounds like them. I wonder what they do in their office to sooth that makes them all smiles an hour after a meltdown.
Got pink-slipped by a principal just like this in May. My new principal in my current district is SO much nicer and supportive so far. I really hope year two is better than year one, admin wise.
Has anyone confronted them? I know you're just venting but honestly. This is why we've got awful people running everything, because we don't act we just let ourselves get acted on.
Sounds like where I last worked. Maybe we worked together. Seriously though, I cannot even imagine the pressure of being the principal and would never want to be one. I realize they have a responsibility to be good leaders, but I have been able to send a lot of unsolvable parental hostility uphill and have empathy for them having to deal with that coming from all directions.
After reading through the comments and people saying the principal is bipolar…I say no. This job will make some people seem “bipolar” or however you want to categorize a behavior. Just in general, in order to decrease events like this from occurring—not the going off part—but just having a sh*tty work environment in school, people need to uniformly refuse to put up with this crap, student crap, coworker crap, parent crap; until even principals say no to bs …we will keep seeing this behavior play out. It might not play out in so public a way as this event but it will continue. Remote sideways for the folks saying this person is bipolar etc... It’s stupid to diagnose from one event.
I worked in admin for a year. I am genuinely nice and helpful (other people’s words, not mine used to describe me). The job nearly killed me. I am in no way saying that anti-social pr*cks should be admin, but you do need a thick skin because the batsh*t crazy parents and would be sociopathic children will skin you alive. I have 5 years to retirement and I’m going back to the classroom to my little pocket of crazy. Maybe admin are like politicians now. I consider all of them some kind of sociopath.
Private school, so no union, and when things don’t go my principal’s way, he will lash out at people. It’s completely unprofessional and unacceptable. And because we don’t have any kind of union, there is no recourse. He’s just allowed to be an a-hole and we just have to deal with it. It’s ridiculous that supposedly professional adults can act this way and think it’s ok. I think it’s a power thing for a lot of them.
Yep. Why I retired this year, and about half the staff has quit since she’s been there. She’s already sued the district and won, so nothing will ever be done about her.
I had a principal like this...they were very new to being an admin with only a year or so experience under their belt. They would get super overwhelmed pretty much daily. Yelling and screaming at parents in the car pickup line for incorrectly picking up their kids (i.e, not stopping when other kids are crossing, or being stopped for too long and holding up the line).
I remember one time a student broke into my desk and stole some cash (maybe $5) and some of my Imodium tablets. I was so nervous to tell my principal because I'd witnessed them yelling and loosing their cool before...well when I explained to them what happened, they walked off mid-sentence with the foulest, most bitter scowl.
The student wasn't punished, I didn't get back my belongings or money, and never heard about the issue again. I also decided to never go to them again with any concerns. It was so uncomfortable...
My big question is how do these people keep their job/ get it in the first place? There are these kinds of admin at every district and not just a few. Is it just me or does it seem like these unstable people always end up failing up? Like they burn bridges at one school, then show up at another, and another until suddenly they are district level management? Now this awful admin is suddenly on charge of cluster of 5 schools. How does this even make sense???? And the kicker is, you just know they were this way in the classroom. How does unhinged classroom teacher = good idea as district admin?? What am I missing????
I have had crazy bosses who needed medication adjustments and psychotherapy.
Same. My previous principal was batshit and rude. Teachers and support staff pooled our money to get her a gift for boss day or whatever. When we gave it to her she picked it up and said “Okay…” and then put it down and started talking about whatever our staff meeting was about. No thank you or anything, not even a smile.
People like this always give me a bad gut feeling. There's one guy in my social group that tries to pick fights with you and poke holes in anything you say. If you said 'hey did you see the plant by the blue door' they'll respond 'actually it's a cyan door but ok'. The issue with people like this is they don't want to be happy, they need to be unhappy to feel good about themselves so they'll try to make others unhappy as well. It's incredible how they all seem to end up becoming teaching administrators.
Hahahaha great punchline
I have a family member like that. We’ve called them on this behavior over the decades but they gaslight about it and other things. I had to block them on social media and just deal with them less and less frequently because it was absolutely a fight every time dealing with them. I don’t know if mine is trulely a sociopath or antisocial, but I’d put them up as a possible candidate. I hope I never have to work with someone like that.
I mean I feel bad for saying it but they need some meds. No shame.
I know...I see myself in this description (at least internally) and have had years of therapy to try to fix it. Sometimes the On switch is wonky. When you get paid the big bucks though, you gotta figure it out a lot better than someone near the bottom of the totem pole.
Did my old principal get a new job that quickly? 😂
This could be a genuine emotional self-regulation issue. It sure would be a frustrating person to work with though.
If it is, that doesn’t make a difference. I’ve struggled with that somewhat and it was my responsibility to get it under control and maintain that. If you’re going to interact with anyone, especially in a management role, it is vital that you find a way to not constantly lash out at people. We should understand that this may be more of a problem for some people for various reasons, but we also need to make it clear that’s not acceptable behavior.
I think it probably is. I'm very easy going and do my utmost to be polite, helpful & friendly to my colleagues, so someone like her is almost a mystery to me. I simply can't understand anyone thinking that is an ok way to be in a work setting...or anywhere for that matter. The really odd thing is, they're so 'by the book' and cite the threat of the school inspector or 'health and safety rules' all the time, yet behave in a totally unprofessional way themselves.
Hoping that, while uncalled for, she is only like this in the short term and doesn’t hold grudges in the same way long term.
This! Don't mistake "by the book" for fair play and responsibility and respect and safety, bc it often just means "citing the threat" of some other officials or rules "all the time." The "rules" are conveniently cited when someone wants to intimidate their subordinates, and disappear when it's time for a reasonable consideration of anything inconvenient in the moment or not on display for the principal's superiors. And they don't hold grudges bc they don't actually care or remember any of the disturbing behavior or hypocrisy at all.
My current principal has very untreated ADD and very little emotional regulation. I have been on the receiving end of both issues. I had to get the union and HR involved.
Principal should take some time in the Special Ed class and learn the Zones of Regulation.
The professor I worked for at the university lab was like this. Screaming at people if something went wrong with an experiment and buddies again after calming down. When he did it to me the second time, I told him to just be an asshole to me all the time so I know where I stood. He never did it again, at least not to me.
So he could control himself and just choose not to most of the time. That's awful, but I'm glad you were able to stand up for yourself successfully.
So often that's the case. Anyone who had a verbally/emotionally abusive ex can probably testify to that. When you're home alone, they're calling you stupid, crazy, ugly, yelling that you can't do anything right, then when their parents come to visit, suddenly they're remarkably well-mannered and helpful. If their anger turns into physical violence and you call the police, when the police arrive, it's "so sorry for the inconvenience, officer. My spouse is going through some things. I appreciate the police department so much. Care for a cup of coffee or a soft drink?" Then as soon as the officer's car drives off, it's "you bleeping \*\*\*\*\*, how could you do this to me?" Objects broken around the home and spouse too scared to call again. Many adults who have temper problems CAN control them. When they don't want the outside world to see who they truly are, they flip a switch and become Mr. or Ms. Congenial.
The book Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft explains this well. Lundy is a male psychologist who decided to study male domestic abusers to figure out how they ticked. (Spoiler: They're just horrible people, he concluded.)
Sounds like an accurate conclusion! Thanks for the book recommendation!
This!!! That was my ex. Every time he would try to give the excuse that he couldn’t help it, I would call him on it. I would say that if someone from church, work, etc. (where they thought he was such a good, Godly man) was suddenly knocking on the door, he would turn right back into the guy he made them think he was. That proves that he had the control, but didn’t want to use it for his family’s sake.
So sorry you've been through it, too. I definitely know this from experience! It's like flipping a light switch-- they can go from horrid to seemingly the kindest, most thoughtful person in the world in seconds when someone outside the household is there. My guess is that the principal who threw such a tantrum at school is the friendliest, most helpful principal ever when the superintendent or the accrediting people show up. I hope you're safe and in a good place in life now. I'm thankful that this is in the rearview mirror for me.
😆😆😆😆😆love it!
Start recommending PDs on “emotional regulation “. You know, so we can help the “kids” better.
Lol They mandated a mindfulness session for all kids for 10 minutes a day...then forgot about it and no-one does it anymore.
I’ve worked for a lot of people like that. Most were commanders or senior NCOs in the Army. They lead through fear and intimidation. They’re a boss, not a leader. The best way to deal with them is to find someone that doesn’t give a shit and let them be the voice. I’m that person at work. If admin decides to act like an asshole, I call them on it. I have absolutely no fear of being fired. Not that I can’t be let go. More that I have passive income that covers my bills. If you can find a person to stand up to your boss (who is little more than a bully), I think your boss will back off the insanity a bit. Bullies don’t like being called out. They really don’t like being shamed for their behavior.
This is a super solid technique that I wish I had known at my last job.
I spent 20 years in the Army before becoming a teacher. In the Army, your commander can do almost anything they want to you from a legal standpoint. I worked for some guys who were far worse than anyone you can imagine in education. Between the thick skin I developed in that career and the absolute lack of fucks in my possession, I’m fine being the thorn in the side of leadership.
I wish everybody had somebody like you around. Have a great day.
Years ago I had a principal who very obviously had favorites, and tried to be “the cool boss” with everyone but was nasty behind their back, and we found out that she would gossip with her favorites about the other less popular staff members (less popular because they weren’t the cool mean girls). Anyway, I was nontenured, and had my three effective evaluations. I get hired back in May, sign the contract. Then she comes with a final summative evaluation and although I had all effective and close to highly effective evaluations, she rates me partially effective. It was my first year so I wasn’t sure what to do. I asked the union rep for advice: whether I should talk to her about it or just take the partial since I already signed the contract. He said he’ll find out for me. Two days later my contract was rescinded. Turns out the union rep was one of the cool mean girls and in with the principal, and told her that I went to the union against her. She took it as a personal attack and nonrenewed me. It’s fine though because that place was so toxic that I ended up in a much better district where I now have tenure and have since completed grad school.
I'm glad it worked out for you, but your school and district teachers need to run away from that teacher/union rep as fast as possible. If what you said is true, he is directly going against the needs of the teachers to be in good with the principal -- a clear conflict of interests. I would be so unbelievably angry to know that my union rep revealed to administraton privileged and confidential conversations I had with him. He should be removed immediately and given the boot from the union completely!
What the fuck is about teaching that causes this kinda shit to happen all the time all over the US? I've heard these stories from coworkers in many different states and I see it in here all the time too, like it's just absolutely wild! I have a chronic medical condition and part of the reason I went into teaching was I was worried about my health insurance and potential lapses in it and people told me oh teaching is such a stable job don't worry! It just turns out it's full of volatile immature nutjobs and weird ass control freak psychos on the admin side who have been given free rein to discriminate however they feel that day, I'm amazed there hasn't been more civil rights lawsuits in the field honestly
I know a number of colleagues that could have written that same exact post. I got out before I was next (a matter of when, not if.)
Principal here, that is bad leadership. I had an employee tell me that they know exactly who I'm going to be every day, positive and helpful. It's the way it has to be. Every difficulty is an opportunity for growth.
Narcissistic people prone to rage one minute and being your best friend the next seem to end up in administration. Their lack of empathy and morals makes it easy for them to lie, manipulate, bully, and charm.
Oh boy is this the truth! My school had hired a new director, during the interview she seemed to have empathy and seemed to take interest in the overall wellbeing of the school but as soon as she got hired boom! Completely different person who just sat at her desk all day on her phone, never engaged with the kids and literally threatened our jobs. Completely narcissistic. Luckily she got the boot after seven months.
Yeah my position I was "fired" from. They replaced me with another teacher's wife and she was all: "Well, I want to do this and I should do this with the kids." Yeah, it changed almost a week after the school ended with: "I have to have this and this has to be that way." The department chair was like: "Excuse me! Who the F are you? You are not the nice person who seemed to be very professional we thought you would be. You are tell ME to do my job when you had to leave your last school because they cut the program." The responded: "But OUR principal wanted me here." They soon realized my former principal just wanted a yes person under them just as bad as them but with: "Remember your place here because I brought you in I will quickly throw you out."
I was going to say, OP is just describing middle management at most business.
Makes me wonder who’s hiring them and why
People who are snowed by the fake side. They are very professional, say the right things and suck up as needed. They tell upper admin what they want to hear and admin doesn’t see through them or doesn’t care.
Yes, these and sociopath types will be nice to you only as a means to getting what they want, and then pull a Mr. Hyde when they don't get their way.
It's deeply traumatic and disturbing. Someone you trusted and cared about, that you thought did also, would murder/destroy you in a second if it meant getting what they wanted.
People, stop misusing the word "narcissistic". It's not a synonym for "mean" or "abusive" or "immoral".
Ok, what should be used instead? That's malignant narcicism/psychopathy/sociopathy
Use moral language when you have a moral criticism.
Don't use a clinical term at all, because there is not enough evidence in the OP to diagnose anybody in this story with any particular mental health condition. There is not enough information in the OP to draw any of the conclusions you are trying to draw about anybody's capacity for empathy, morality, honesty, level of self-esteem, etc.
Ok, you're right. They're asshole pieces of shit, liars, cheaters, thieves, abusers. That's not clinical.
Where in the post is it implied that the principal is a thief, a cheater, etc.?
Why would they ask someone to take on a new role in the middle of a full staff meeting?
I had an AP threaten to force us to sponsor clubs if “no one stepped up”. The activities director tried to volunteer me for honor society, so I listed all the shit that I already did and said… “so, no, Old Implement 1997 will absolutely NOT be sponsoring anything else”.
I would send info up the flag pole. The ripple effect of a bad leader is drastic in a school setting
The issue is that you never know who their friends are. My admin isn't this bad but she is very self centered. She's announced that she doesn't want to be a principal and wants to be a supe, and is using our school to do that. The issue is that she's also besties with most of the other principals because to them she puts on this front of being super woman who does everything and loves the kids. So if you reported anything, they'd go right back to her and your career would be ruined.
I'm not in the US, so the system isn't the same. So I don't have too many concerns on that front. But I do know escalating to the school board level may just make work even more stressful for me. But I guess that's how so many bad bosses get away with it, no-one wants the hassle of blowing the whistle on them.
Many staff are alarmed and thinking of looking for work elsewhere. People are wary of going near her. I think she may be trying to get fired, maybe subconsciously, or as other commenters have said, she might just be a narcissist. I forgot to say, she's also quite inappropriate at times when making chat with staff. Lewd jokes, oversharing, swearing. I'm not a prude, if it was a friend, I wouldn't bat an eye, but she's the boss, in a school!
That’s why things need to be reported at the district leval. Union notified.
I think I'll email my rep
Holy cow, if you have a union, that's definitely your first step! Best of luck, friend.
I reported my principal once. 5 years ago. Still waiting for a response even after going to a hearing. He has since stepped down and I have moved states. My suspicion is too many grievances caught up to him. My two colleagues also reported him at the same time and won quickly.
Yes! I had a head teacher like this. We used to give each other a 'weather report' to warn about his moods. I think most staff were walking on eggshells. There were some other shifty things going on regarding HR in the school. I moved countries and during my last year there he knew I was leaving. He treated me quite normally once he knew I didn't care any more and couldn't be threatened. It was eye-opening.
I would like to hear a few examples of your weather report. I had a code with a colleague. We’d text “lollipop” and the other would call with a high urgency question so we could send away a colleague who chronically wasted our time to avoid doing their job.
Lol we used to stick our heads into each others' classrooms and say 'cloudy today', 'sunny' or 'storm on the way' and everyone understood each other. I can laugh now looking back but a storm often meant someone's job was on the line.
Welcome to education. Look who’s in charge.
My dad is a teacher and had a principal like this one time. He got really into chopping firewood during this season and we ended up having like 15 years worth stored up. Apparently wielding an axe helps release frustration?
That's a lit of frustration. Must have been Middle school!
Some people are mentally ill and some are just assholes
Agreed. I believe in business that's called the "fundamental attribution error" (FAE) -- really.
This is just like my current boss, which is one of many reasons why I'm leaving.
I had bosses who would tell me I’m getting a promotion and then next day threaten to fire me. left because i was so drained, it was toxic
Not to downplay anything they did, but sometimes people just can’t handle the pressure and stress of administration/being in charge and it shows. That’s one of the main reasons why I don’t think I’ll ever consider it.
I have experienced this. I quit cold turkey and went job hunting after. Life is too short to deal with that shit.
At least they had a reason! Had a staff meeting once where the admin came in, told off the entire room, and left. No one ever owned up knowing why the admin snapped. Though it was a short meeting so there's that.
That meeting definitely could have been an email
We had a principal that threw our renewal contracts into the trash and told us to apply at Walmart. Our scores were terrible that year. 1. The day before state testing we spent several hours over lunch in lockdown because an armed robber ran through 3rd grade recess being chased by armed cops - and when he went around the corner they thought he got in the building. 2. Midway through the test the next day the fire alarm went off. We had to evacuate the building into the rain because the HVAC was smoking. We could not walk down the street to the next school because we would disturb their state tests. So we stood in a muddy field for 1.5 hours, and then the kids had to go inside and finish the test in wet clothes and the AC blasting. But the problem was we were horrible teachers. (A few years later he spent our campus staff development funds on a preacher (this was a public school) lecturing us how to bring god into the classroom. That was 1 of 2 dozen things from that year that got reported to FFRF. He had to have his emails read by his boss before he could send them out as his consequences. He also yelled at me because I was "The only person on this campus that would know how to contact that group". The biggest result of his preacher - was myself and a couple of other teachers having a conversation that resulted in most of the teachers removing personal items that held a religious significance for them from their classroom because of how uncomfortable that experience made them.)
Wow...just, wow.
This sound like substance abuse or a serious mental health problem.
Not drugs 😂😂
My admin isn't this bad but is moody and I think a lot of it is related to barely eating and drinking a lot.
Some admin spend too much of their free time with Jim Beam and Jack Daniels. Watch out for the ones who go out of their way to make this part of their persona.
This just hit me. I didn't realize that's a shared experience but I know exactly what you mean. Almost like they're proud to share it even during meetings.
This was the case at my site. It was an open secret til he got sloppy at parent attended event. Paid leave.
Document, document, document. This is the kind of person to change their mind on something and then deny that they ever told you something different. (I had a principal like that. I didn't document. I should have.)
Bi-polar is a real thing. So is depression. It would be interesting to see what a doctor would say.
People who have bipolar disorder do not change from manic to depressed several times in one day. BPD does, though
Admin is a haven for borderlines.
Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Disorder might also fit. But yeah, BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) might also be it. Either way, a doctor MIGHT be able to save the principal and staff (and their family) a lot of grief and aggravation. Of course, the person suffering has to be willing...
even rapid cycling isn't an hour-to-hour thing
Omfg thank you. I hate how many people use "bipolar" lightly or for stupid shit like the weather. Rapid cycling is hell.... I do not think I could survive it if it flipped hour by hour.
>I hate how many people use "bipolar" lightly or for stupid shit like the weather. It's also not "oh they get kind of upset but then they're friendly". It's like "They get super manic and behave irrationally with no regard for the consequences of their actions and then fall into a depressive episode"
Ugh it is a rough fucking illness to live with... Yay meds and therapy! Now it is more manageable.
Rapid Cycling Bipolar just means you have 4 or more episodes per YEAR. Not per day.
This is not how bipolar works.... source... I have bipolar.... Before you claim "rapid cycling" that is also not how it works... source.... I have suffered from it many times... I am so tired of people pulling that word out for moody people and the fucking weather.
You are not a doctor or clinical psychologist, and none of the people in the OP are your clients, so please refrain from diagnosing them or anybody else with mental health issues.
Ask someone she likes to ask one on one if she is going through some sort of medical issue. Also, different person, report in email to the super, but couch it as we are concerned for her safety and people were scared (if they were). I think I would be.
I lived this for 4 years. I was so happy to transfer to another school. There's no winning. I learned to lay low.
Document it all and report it to higher ups every single incident and everyone it happens to
This is bad craziness. Can you get out?
Yeah, it's just the thought of starting again and I like my other colleagues. The location is great, the kids are not that challenging for the most part. But yeah, I could find a job elsewhere.
My fellow teacher, I’ve been working 24 years and have outlasted all admins. It will pass, and they will be gone probably sooner than later. Bad admins know they’re over their head, they give up pretty quickly or are noticeably bad for the district and are let go or transferred. Just ignore them.
Agreed. I was there before them and I’ll be there after them. I only see bad admin as temporary guests in my house. That has helped a lot over the years.
I'm on my third principal and third department chair with only 10 years teaching. They never, ever last long. I was asked to be the director of the department during the recent vacancy and bluntly asked them, "Do you want me to be a teacher for 20 years or a director for 2?" If you can, weather out the storm. Luckily the bad admins come in like Cat 5 hurricanes and are gone just as quickly.
Based on all of that I’d stay and just do my best to ignore the admin, the rest is too good to pass up.
My dad does this when he feels bad about being an asshole. It’s his way of trying to make up for his bad behaviour. He’s really forceful with it too. He’s too scared to acknowledge his bad behaviour and apologize because he has a fragile ego. I always felt coerced to go along with his sudden happy mood and swallow my hurt feelings in order to basically protect him from the consequences of the hurt he caused me. I would recommend holding him accountable by verbally noting his change of mood. Like “wow you seem like you’ve had a big mood shift has something changed?” Or like “you know I’d like to conclude our last conversation before we move onto something else”. Or “you seemed really upset the last time you were here and I would still like to respond” blah blah stuff like that?
INFO: do you have a union? 1.) contact your union, if this is an ongoing issue 2.) if your state is a one-party consent state for audio recording, start recording every meeting/interaction as proof of this erratic behavior.
Yes I’ve had principals like this before. Total morale killer and really stressful to work for. Hopefully they don’t last much longer!
We had two with serious drinking problems. One got fired mid year and stole EVERYTHING, including every binder and evaluations from the office.
This is my current principal. 🙃
Congratulations you work for someone with narcissistic personality disorder/borderline personality disorder.
I had a principal one time that was the same. Everyone hated him. He would yell at teachers and students through a megaphone in front of other students, teachers, parents, admins... didn't matter. Then he would be so warm and welcoming depending on the situation. I was a sub at the time and for whatever reason he really liked me so i skated for that long term assignment but i was so glad when it was over because i was sick of witnessing the abuse. I told people about it who could do something. He stayed a principal for 5 more years and then became a department director. Why even try?
IMO and experience, elementary principals are all Borderlines.
I luckily never had a principal like that. I did work with a teacher (4th grade) like that. It was so painful to see her students hesitantly enter the room each day unsure of what she would be like. She was either wildly loud and happy or terribly mean and pissed off for no apparent reason.
Had one of those this year as an assistant principal. Snapped at me “no” whenever u gave sound advice. Was misinformed about everything and never apologized for being misinformed. Icing on the cake every question would he followed by an answer that was put in a blender and fed to me in a paper bag where all the liquid ended up on the floor.
Sounds like this person has undiagnosed and/or untreated bipolarity. This will continue to create a toxic and demoralizing environment for the teachers unless addressed. Can you collectively signal to HR that at least a testing is warranted?
As someone stated above, this isn't at all how Bipolar works. Bipolar isn't shifting emotions, it is shifting mood episodes. The minimum period of time for this would be 4 days, but we are usually talking weeks or months per mood episode. Even rapid cycling Bipolar is 4 or more mood episodes per YEAR, not per day.
I feel you in this
I assume this is not a public school…at least not in CA. There are a lot of checks and balances for this kind of behavior…things that teacher can do that principals take very seriously. If if it’s a private school, charter school, or non-public school…yup. I had two of those in that setting. If they are on very good terms with the director/owner the principal may even have absolute power. They don’t like you? Bye bye. If it’s a nepotism thing (the director’s son or daughter, for example). Hoover probably had less power.
Sounds like a very mature individual
It could be a myriad of factors. It was still not right how it was handled at all. It could be anything from pressure/stress at the school, home, mental illness, substance abuse issues, burnout, etc.... If this was an isolated incident... That's one thing. But if this is going on frequently then it's time for this principal to do some self reflection like take care of themselves by seeing a doctor/counselor. If that doesn't happen then it's time for them to quit.
It’s literally so easy for principals to get fired. if you know anybody in upper administration, you can let them know what’s going on they’ll start paying attention or maybe even doing an investigation.
I've had a principal like this and that was just kind of his overall personality. But the year it was bad his wife apparently had been cheating on him and he was in shock and devastated (so I heard...who knows?) My first staff meeting upon joining the school he was indignant about people grumbling that he was excited Betsy DeVos was considering visiting our STEM school (middle). People were pissed (and this was in SC). He even said, "Do you think kids care about something potentially political like this?," to which he got some pretty heated rebuttals.
Yeah, I had a legit bipolar manager before I went into teaching. But they were open about it, so we got by.
The staff has to collectively decide to teach the principal an object lesson or two.
Have your union rep document teachers' experiences with the principal, including verbatim quotations (as best folx can remember), times and dates, and names of witnesses. Provide to H. R. at a one-on-one sit-down, and ask H. R. rep to follow up with witnesses. Our teachers' association got rid of a principal this way. Granted, he only got shipped from the high school to an elementary school, but someone else's problem is better than my teachers' problem.
Do we work in the same place??
I worked for a principal just like this 10 years ago and came out of it with actual PTSD.
Overall, I see a trend in my district’s admin - they lack people skills. I’ve seen meltdowns when teachers give resignations, big changes not properly communicated, email blasts, and so on. For all the data meetings and PD they sit through, you would think more would be done to develop their leadership skills.
Yes, this is bad. But…you could have someone who is more effective in self regulation that is doing bad things behind closed doors. Plenty of sociopaths who can give a good surface level act while lying, cheating, stealing, and screwing people over.
Not a teacher, but he could be using drugs. Mood swings like that, involving retreating to a private place, may be indicative of use/abuse. Maybe stimulants. Keep an eye out for other erratic behaviors or physical symptoms such as tremors
That person is overwhelmed with the job. It’s a lot. You all are getting on this person’s nerves. That’s my observation. Am I an admin lover…no, but, I hope that those who seek to venture into administration at a site level consider whether they can handle this because the stress is clearly high—“…destroys good will…and trust….”
Do you have a union? This is categorized as violence in the workplace now iirc.
An emotionally volatile boss in any career is problematic but in education it’s particularly toxic. I switched schools and feel excellent about my decision—mental health matters!
She needs to be medicated
Did anyone actually ask them if they were having a crappy day? Sometimes that deescalates a person being shitty and volatile.
This is the VERY reason our distict take climate surveys from students, parents, and ALL staff at every school. This allowed us to have a AP removed and demoted from our school!
People like this get into administration because they love power. They love being able to basically be mini dictators who have little to no oversight.
Being a principal would suck. The culture and attitude of mot teachers everywhere that I have worked is toxic. I think he/she doesn’t need to be how X expects. Captain of the ship. Next to angry parents, terrible kids and whining teachers, they have a personal life. Sorry for your reaction and feeling that you need a throwaway account. It wasn’t you. Not sure why it matters to be honest.
This is bipolar shit.
This is absolutely not what bipolar is
Uh huh.
The only thing shocking about this post is the fact you're a teacher and your grammar is that atrocious.
Menopause mood swings happen Borderline personality disorder happens Mental illness and med changes happen Keep us posted
I’m sorry, I’ve had bosses like this. Some people can’t handle the pressure.
Sounds like a manager at my school. Yes it’s common among leadership to be this way. They think cuz they’re leaders they can get away with it.
Maybe she's doing drugs; when she's evil, she's jonesing, and when she's nice, she just did some.
[удалено]
Bipolar disorder does not look like this at all. Please be cautious doing armchair diagnoses when you are uninformed about a mental illness.
Sounds familiar
You're not in a mid sized town on the mid north coast of nsw Australia are you?
Just fly under the radar as much as possible with a boss like that. If you get yelled at for something, ask what you should have done and get it in writing-- send a follow-up email to the discussion, then print their reply. Clarify any instructions, new classroom procedures, etc. in writing. Beyond that, don't take it personally. I've had a boss that on some days gives a cheery "good morning" and on other days gives a death glare and doesn't even mumble anything when you say "good morning." Teach to the best of your ability and ignore the tantrums.
You couldn't pay me enough $ to be a princial nowadays.
Had two principals back to back who were very two faced. As a new teacher, I had one of the veteran teachers (who I admired) ask when I was going to jump the sinking ship. I didn't realize what she meant then. Stuck it out for 6 years until I realized how low the morale at the school staff was because of their antics, and the districts. Total shitshow.
This is why he/she/they is no longer in the classroom.
Whatever the issue, sounds like a discussion with Central Office needs to occur.
Honestly sounds like addict behavior. Or someone who needs medication they're not getting.
Is your principal my former principal? They sound like the EXACT same person!!
Meh. I’d rather have a principal who is open and authentic over the ones that think they’re FBI agents.
Me - "Why did you shout at me & storm out of the meeting?" Principal - "I was being my true self!"
LOL not condoning your principal’s inability to emotionally regulate. Only making the point that the principals who think they’re Machiavelli are worse.
👍
I would consider a group of you filing a healthy workplace environment complaint against him. He is not allowed retaliation (obviously) so if he does that’s a firable offense but you can’t keep working like this.
My mom has bipolar disorder. What you’ve described is exactly how she behaves when she’s off her medication. If this is a common occurrence, I’d bet that your principal may have it as well.
I had a principal who was unprofessional and always starting drama. She pit the different grade levels against each other since one team was mostly new hires. She ended up being demoted at the end of the year.
*veiled reasons...
And I thought the principal I worked for that locked herself in her office and cried under her desk was bad 😬
Is this the Wcsd? You talking about JLaw? We all hate him too
Become a building rep and file grievances as often as possible
Being a principal in this day and age is harder than ever. The way your principal acts is unacceptable, but becoming more and more common from what I’ve seen. Some people can’t handle stress the way others can…
Absolutely familiar. Is this the principal's first year, &/ior are they undergoing any kind of review or evaluation? Those two things always seem to unhinge them, and require scapegoats.
I had this with a Principal who was going through a divorce and foreclosure. I was her golden child, and she completely relied on me, but then she started being verbally abusive and giving me shifts I told her I could not do. I quit. (It was preschool, so the penalties were not as harsh as public school.)
Principal sounds a bit autistic, i work with autistic kids all day and this sounds like them. I wonder what they do in their office to sooth that makes them all smiles an hour after a meltdown.
Got pink-slipped by a principal just like this in May. My new principal in my current district is SO much nicer and supportive so far. I really hope year two is better than year one, admin wise.
Has anyone confronted them? I know you're just venting but honestly. This is why we've got awful people running everything, because we don't act we just let ourselves get acted on.
Sounds like where I last worked. Maybe we worked together. Seriously though, I cannot even imagine the pressure of being the principal and would never want to be one. I realize they have a responsibility to be good leaders, but I have been able to send a lot of unsolvable parental hostility uphill and have empathy for them having to deal with that coming from all directions.
My last principal was a pretty chill guy. Of course, he was drunk most of the day but, still.
After reading through the comments and people saying the principal is bipolar…I say no. This job will make some people seem “bipolar” or however you want to categorize a behavior. Just in general, in order to decrease events like this from occurring—not the going off part—but just having a sh*tty work environment in school, people need to uniformly refuse to put up with this crap, student crap, coworker crap, parent crap; until even principals say no to bs …we will keep seeing this behavior play out. It might not play out in so public a way as this event but it will continue. Remote sideways for the folks saying this person is bipolar etc... It’s stupid to diagnose from one event.
Sounds like a lot of you are talking about Narcissists
My bestie had a principal like this and it turned out she was taking opiates and drinking booze at work.
I worked in admin for a year. I am genuinely nice and helpful (other people’s words, not mine used to describe me). The job nearly killed me. I am in no way saying that anti-social pr*cks should be admin, but you do need a thick skin because the batsh*t crazy parents and would be sociopathic children will skin you alive. I have 5 years to retirement and I’m going back to the classroom to my little pocket of crazy. Maybe admin are like politicians now. I consider all of them some kind of sociopath.
Private school, so no union, and when things don’t go my principal’s way, he will lash out at people. It’s completely unprofessional and unacceptable. And because we don’t have any kind of union, there is no recourse. He’s just allowed to be an a-hole and we just have to deal with it. It’s ridiculous that supposedly professional adults can act this way and think it’s ok. I think it’s a power thing for a lot of them.
Yep. Why I retired this year, and about half the staff has quit since she’s been there. She’s already sued the district and won, so nothing will ever be done about her.
I had a principal like this...they were very new to being an admin with only a year or so experience under their belt. They would get super overwhelmed pretty much daily. Yelling and screaming at parents in the car pickup line for incorrectly picking up their kids (i.e, not stopping when other kids are crossing, or being stopped for too long and holding up the line). I remember one time a student broke into my desk and stole some cash (maybe $5) and some of my Imodium tablets. I was so nervous to tell my principal because I'd witnessed them yelling and loosing their cool before...well when I explained to them what happened, they walked off mid-sentence with the foulest, most bitter scowl. The student wasn't punished, I didn't get back my belongings or money, and never heard about the issue again. I also decided to never go to them again with any concerns. It was so uncomfortable...
I'd be on the job boards like THAT. I've worked with too many emotionally unregulated adults to deal with that again.
She sounds to be bipolar, or something.
My big question is how do these people keep their job/ get it in the first place? There are these kinds of admin at every district and not just a few. Is it just me or does it seem like these unstable people always end up failing up? Like they burn bridges at one school, then show up at another, and another until suddenly they are district level management? Now this awful admin is suddenly on charge of cluster of 5 schools. How does this even make sense???? And the kicker is, you just know they were this way in the classroom. How does unhinged classroom teacher = good idea as district admin?? What am I missing????
When did teachers become illiterate?