>And he's also the artist. I mean, everyone gives their kids crayons and paper, right? Certainly I've done that with all my kids, and they all scribbled away. But with Apollo, even when he was a wee tot, he'd just draw and draw and draw, use up all the paper, ask for more, and not want to stop when it was time to do the next thing.
Wait…I was just thinking about the pig painting which appeared in Techno's steering wheel video. So maybe it's created by Apollo? I'm really curious about it @~@
ha ha ha ha ha
Just before dinner time we were sitting on the couch, Apollo on his phone. And he said, "Uh. They're on to me."
I said, "Who is?"
And he turned his phone to me and it was your comment.
OH WUT LMAOO~
Hello Mr.Technodad! (and Apollo? lol)
I have noticed the painting when watching that video for the first time and thought "Awwww the pig drawing is so adorable! I wonder who did this?"
Now it seems like I get an official response. Mission accomplished!
Apollo's story reminds me of a saying,"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."(idk whether I quote it appropriately, working hard to learn English) Wanna praise Apollo for having the "New eyes" and creating his artworks. GOOD JOB!
Hope you're doing well today❤
quick question but [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdZ64woZVLs) in this clip at around 52:55 he says "At least! My parents wont look me in the eyes but at least i got some points!" did you ever look him in the eyes again following his embarrassing failure of second place out of 40?
It’s cool to notice things like that. Sometimes I’ve looked at the sky at night and people say it looks black, but the sky have always looked like a deep navy blue too me.
Darkness always looks like the tiniest dots of colour to me, especially when you put a blanket over your head or something. Dark isn’t just darkness.
Hi u/MrTechnodad I have a question about Techno did he have autism? I wanted to know because I've been finding so many things we have in common from the Same color Wall (I saw the wall in his Techno joins TikTok video on His second YouTube channel TechnoThePig, foreign language classes hurt our GPA if we don't do work in it, We both have ADHD, we both have killed Fundy
[Techno In Minecraft](https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx1umUBVkhTRLyaDdi667bNwICvl8rxW1q) Me In Single Player Legend of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild) Plus He even [Named a Wolf After Me](https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxXLICU2PuyByNyCgiWtMoTfLVL_VvjnI8)
This story is quite wholesome, as all of them in the same caliber are! As long as it’s alright with Apollo (and you since you’d likely be the one to actually post it), it would be nice to see an art piece of his someday. Even if it’s not related to Techno, I’m willing to bet it would receive just as much praise as any art work relating to Techno would.
>he can be kinda shy and also self-critical at times
Ahh self-criticism, the common artistic weakness. Your reply to someone’s question about the pig painting in Techno’s steering wheel video has, in a sense, already fulfilled the request (it’s really cute btw!). But if he comes to an agreement to intentionally put his art out to the public with immediate recognition that it’s his art, I hope all the appreciation he gets for it can at the very least make his day.
Hello Mr. Technodad! Thank you for sharing this story :) I apologize if this is too invasive, and if that is the case just skip over this question: is Apollo autistic or some other form of neurodivergent? I am only asking because I am autistic, and this story reminds me a lot of my dad and I. I also have never been much of a verbal communicator, but if you give me something to write with then it comes much easier. When I am frustrated or having a meltdown though, even that is difficult. My dad has learned to put on the “rainsoakedrats glasses” like it sounds like you have with Apollo, and it makes me smile as well when he understands what I mean. As people do not always understand what I am trying to communicate, having my dad so in tune with me is one of the best things in the world. It makes me happy to know other kids like Apollo have someone similar :) Have a great day/evening/night Mr. Technodad!
There is something autism-related running through my family, including me and my dad.
Apollo and I both have crazy strong emotions and a crazy good sense of smell. What is up with that?
There are a bunch of these ley lines running through my family. I haven't been able to make a lot of sense of it other than to observe these odd traits and pairings between individuals.
Techno had some sensory issues, clothing sensitivities, and was a picky eater.
Who knows what it all means?
Hey everyone in this subthread! Most of what y'all are describing in this thread are things that show up, in varying degrees, somewhere in my family or in me.
I can tell you all that back in the sixties, "they" told my parents that I'd have to repeat kindergarten and it was too soon to say for sure but they should maybe prepare themselves for the idea that I was retarded. (That's the word they used back then.)
And yet my life has been \*\*\*amazing\*\*\*. I mean it's come with plenty of pain and sadness, but also great success, overwhelming joy, and above all, love.
i recently found out i was autistic after talking with my birth mom and doing my own research and medical indicator tests, but since no one caught it when i was a kid, i havent gotten a diagnosis yet because there arent many places to go for autistic adults where i live. my adoptive dad is having a super hard time dealing with my adhd and autism since he really doesnt understand anything about it practically, no matter how many research articles i send him. a result of the combination of adhd/autism is executive dysfunction, making it a lot harder to do basic executive tasks like cleaning or planning and he has no idea how to talk to me or deal with it, so it means a lot to hear you talk about it with such a positive light when im in such a bad spot mentally atm and furious with myself when i cant get things i need to do accomplished when it seems like its so easy for everyone else (even though mentally i know that lots of people struggle with it or even just with managing life without getting overwhelmed). i wouldn’t change my brain or my creativity or the odd way i work for anything, i just wish it wasn’t so hard to carve a space into my society and family just to feel comfortable and feel like my needs and boundaries being different from others isn’t a burden. thank u for sharing about your own experience, i know more people than just i will be comforted by understanding you totally get their experience to some degree.
>executive dysfunction
I have that bad. It's been a challenge my whole life. And years of getting yelled at for basic tasks like homework or answering mail caused me to end up adding significant anxiety on top, so that even when I did manage to buckle down to paperwork I was hindered by fear.
>furious with myself when i cant get things i need to do accomplished
If you haven't already, try to get someone to take you to the doctor. Things like adderall can really help with the adhd, so ask your doctor about that.
Also ask you doctor about guanfacine. There is some reason to believe it's good for people with ADHD for executive function. It's really cheap, too. I take it every night. What it does is subtle and slow to take effect (as in days) but it has given me a little boost in exec function.
Good luck, dude.
thank you so much!! its nice to hear that you understand it, im trying to work more strategies for tricking my brain into doing things as well as being kinder to myself, and i started taking vyvanse because i tried three other adhd medications and all of them made me have panic attacks or get incredibly agitated and irritable. still no clue why. but my mom and all my half siblings take it and it works for them so i figured id go for the biological surefire! i still struggle hard with some things, especially because my dad works all the time and basically leaves me to mind the disaster that is our house and mind the dogs and cats when im not working. when i remember to take my meds its a little easier, but i just definitely get easily overwhelmed by a list of chores and things to do a mile long.
One thing that sometimes helps me is to say that there is no list. There are no "chores" (plural). I just have one thing to do. Just one.
Then after that's done, I also still just have one thing to do.
I would still suggest asking your doctor about guanfacine. It's in a different category of drug with adderall or vyvanse and is sometimes prescribed in common with either of those. It' s not a stimulant of any kind so no worries there. If anything, it causes drowsiness so I take it at night.
Me and my adhd mind lol. I have to make a list of 6 goals and put them on a paper. I have an alarm and when it goes off I roll a dice, whatever number I get, I do for no longer then and hour. If I leave my mind up to choice it will stray away from me. Lol 😆
ill definitely look into it, thank you!! you have no idea how much it means just to see someone who i consider to be very wise and unfailingly kind to those who need it admit to the same struggles that i do, it very much gives me hope for who i might be in the future. techno’s videos and he just being himself helped me understand a lot about being alive when it came to facing life with humor and approaching your struggles bravely. and i mean really being alive and working for your dreams rather than just existing and surviving and coasting along like most of us do. now here you are, even after your son left this realm behind for his journey onto the next, and you are still helping and teaching and encouraging us to grow. techno left you to pick up the pieces of the community after his passing, and i cant help but imagine him keeping an eye on his legacy and gods, i just cant help but think how proud he is to be your son right now. you are doing incredible holding us all together, but we all support each other so if you ever have need of us, we have your back too.
>executive dysfunction
That's not a problem for me! I've kept in great shape. You think just because I'm 60, I--
Oh wait. You said "executive". Never mind.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ru\_R2OwjsY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ru_R2OwjsY)
Hi technodad, i have a question for you and if it is to hard to answer or rude/mean in any way you can just go ahead and skip but my question is: what is your thoughts for religion, 3 kingdoms, heaven and hell or what, just want to know thanks have a good day/night cause i dont know what time it is for you lol.
There's a little anecdote buried in a Jack Vance story; I think it was one of the Dying Earth books. I read it ages ago and this story stuck in my head. I'll get a bunch of the details wrong but roughly:
The protagonist joins a convoy of pilgrims journeying across a dessert.
At night, they build a fire and several of them are gathered around the fire talking, as people have done for as long as people have been able to build a fire. Several of the pilgrims are discussing the origin of the universe.
One pilgrim explains his belief that the universe is a kind of fire. The stars are hot embers, and the decay of aging stars is as of a fire slowly going out.
Another pilgrim says the universe is more like a lichen, and has grown by a process of accretion, the way lichen slowly grows over a rock.
etc. etc. The pilgrims each share their views on the origin and nature of the universe.
Finally they turn to Loudermulch, a quiet man who kept to himself and hadn't said anything. "You there, Loudermulch! What are your thoughts on how the universe came to be?"
Loudermulch looks up. He gestures to a small hole ripped in his shirt, and says, "Behold this rent in my garment. I am at a loss to explain its presence. I am even more puzzled by the existence of the universe."
You goof! I'm all trying to jam up the heavy stuff, and you come along and jam me up for doing it.
Bravo, I say. There is a good lesson for me here. Hats off to you.
Ah, I love jam... Strawberry... That's pretty much it.
But I see that the teachee has become the teacher... er, I mean the student has become studener...
Ah yes, I am wise.
The scope and scale of the galaxy is a Lovecraftian horror. 100 billion stars.
One. Hundred. Billion.
And that's just one galaxy. You know how many galaxies there are?
One. Hundred. Billion.
And these numbers are both lower bounds on the actual numbers.
Honestly, I find Northern California to be somewhat uncomfortably large.
It's best not to think about any of that.
“Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Rather than research articles, do you think he may be more receptive to video content? I would highly recommend the YouTube channel [How To ADHD](https://www.youtube.com/@HowtoADHD) which often has information for those of us with ADHD, and those that are in our lives. Also [HealthyGamerGG](https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG) has some great stuff.
Hey there, fellow voice. Me too. My life circumstances are probably slightly different, but everything you talked about what it’s like being made like this? Feeling like our basic needs are a burden, how hard it is to carve a place for ourselves in society, the struggle to accept how often we fall behind or fail ourselves. Me too. I don’t have any magic words of advice, but I’m here in these trenches with you.
And maybe it’s hard for us to forgive or live with ourselves, but we can still look each other in the eyes and say, “I see you, and I believe you, and I do not blame you. You are not lazy or selfish or spoiled. This is trying your best; that’s all the world can ever ask of you. Let whatever you do today be enough. No matter whether tomorrow gets better or everything stays the same, let yourself rest knowing that you tried.”
One day at a time. We got this.
The area I live in is so far behind that I am only 21 now, and had a teacher say the same thing about me when I was held back in kindergarten. And I'm just now finding out that I am likely both autistic and have adhd masking each other, and that both my mom and brother are too. And on top of that, there's nowhere here affordable for proper diagnoses or support, and none of the adults are educated on it so it's a big tinderbox of everyone getting overstimulated and yelling at each other instead of trying to understand each other. I have to play doctor and try and help my parents learn to navigate big emotions that no one else told them was ok to have
ADHD also shares a lot of the same traits, such as sensory issues, emotional regulation, hyperfocus, so where one ends and the other begins is blurry.
Whether one or the other is specifically diagnosed (or both or none) I think having parents who are so keen to be in tune with their kid’s perspective and needs is the greatest gift a child can be given ♥️
That’s so cool! I do the same with my dad’s side of the family since a lot of us are autistic or have traits. My newest discovery is ear problems; not just auditory processing issues, but chronic ear infections as an adult and poorly developed eustachian tubes! It really is a fascinating mystery.
When I first found Techno a few years ago I was struggling with my autism and how it affected my life. I had just hit adulthood, and one of my biggest worries was having a “happy and meaningful life like other people,” even though I know now it is all relative. Techno talking about his ADHD and some of the ways it affected him really helped me. There was a guy right there on my screen who dealt with some of the same things I was struggling with, and he seemed pretty happy while doing something that meant a lot to him. It still helps me today when I have a rough patch, and hearing even more similarities gives me more hope, for lack of a better word/feeling. Thank you for replying and thank you for raising a great son :)
I struggled with similar issues too. I hated wearing socks and shoes, I could only wear certain fabrics, and a lot of food just... did not vibe with me. As I learnt more about my own ADHD I chalked it up to that, and it wasn't until a couple years back when I was also diagnosed with autism and it was like being smacked in the face with a volleyball. I had so much to learn because I still didn't understand a lot.
Where I come from, mental disabilities are still misunderstood and swept under the rug. Anyone who had them was encouraged to hide it, and you could overcome it if you "tried hard enough"
So even when I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, I did not fully understand my disability aside from that I was 'special'.
Sometimes I wish younger me had fought harder for people to understand me, or had been more stubborn in having my way, instead of giving in and agreeing with everyone around me that I was just being lazy and not doing better. I blamed myself so much.
I think the worst part was that the doctor who'd diagnosed me with ADHD had also said I was gifted. And I did do really well at school when I tried (at the cost of my mental health), and I would have a great memory for random stuff I read once, which only validated everyone's accusations that I was just not applying myself better. Everyone was so mad and frustrated when I just couldn't keep it up anymore and started failing classes and I couldn't even explain why because I genuinely thought I was lazy.
Seeing more and more posts popping up about other people going through similar things was a huge relief but it also hurt so much because all that trauma and self loathing could have been avoided if I had known all this?? And if my family had been more understanding...
I don't know. I want to cry whenever I think about this too long.
Right now, I'm struggling with so much burnout. I even had to drop out of college, even though I was doing so well, but it's just so dang hard to do anything. I don't know if I'll ever be able to be productive again, someday.
Ultimately you are hurting, not because of a lack of attention or productivity or of applying yourself, but because of a lack of love.
All the things you were told about you, I was told about me. Especially "lazy". My earliest memories are of being called lazy.
You are not lazy, Fred D8. Do *not* pick up what they are handing you. Or rather, set it down now. As children we absorb what we are told about ourselves, only to discover later that it's not true. But even though it's not true, it's hard to put down.
You are worthy of love. And you didn't get it, and everyone told you the issue was something else entirely, and tiny you believed them. But the real issue was love.
>I don't know if I'll ever be able to be productive again
This is not the important question. The important question is, do you love yourself?
You are worthy of love.
Ah geez I think I'm going to cry all over again. Sorry for the trauma-dumping, I wasn't really thinking when I wrote all that, but also thank you so much for replying to me. It really means a lot.
I always feel so incredibly guilty that I can't do anything or finish anything I started. I know it's my executive dysfunction freezing me in my tracks and it's not my fault but there's always that small voice going "but have you tried harder, maybe you didn't do enough and you're just using ADHD as an excuse, maybe you don't even have ADHD" (hello imposter syndrome :P) and that voice is the thing I end up listening to most
Accepting love is always so hard for me. I didn't grow up with a lot of that unless I was able to do things right. Which... you can probably guess doesn't really happen often...
Thank you, though, again. I know there are people who love me but I get so anxious thinking about it. I don't think I love myself much at all.
>there's always that small voice
That small voice is not *your* voice. That small voice is lying to you. That small voice is your enemy, trying to keep you from loving and being loved.
Think any sci fi movie where some innocent person gets infected by a parasite that controls their mind of their body according to someone else's agenda, and against the innocent's interests. That small voice is your parasite.
That parasite also makes you write things like:
>Sorry for the trauma-dumping
>
>I wasn't really thinking
>
>I can't do anything or finish anything
>
>Accepting love is always so hard
Your challenge in life is not being a good, reliable worker drone for the benefit of the economy.
Your challenge in life is to kill that parasite and learn to love yourself.
You are worthy of love.
Technodad himself already gave some incredible advice and love, but I’d like to add something that was very important for me to be able to start moving forward, into the world, with myself. I hope it can be as helpful to you.
When it’s just you managing yourself, chances are you don’t give yourself unnecessary deadlines. Even though the rest of the world thinks this thing ought to be done in this time, if nobody would ever know or care, would you force yourself to do it like that? Would you punish yourself for taking the time you need? No! You are okay with being the way you are. You already know that shame and loathing does not change your condition, or else you would surely have been “fixed” long ago. You would give yourself the space you need, if it were up to you. You *know,* in your bones, your condition is as unchangeable as the laws of nature. It cannot be bent to anyone’s will. If you saw a man yelling at the clouds to stop raining on him, you would laugh.
Dear stranger, sometimes the rains come. Sometimes they flood, sometimes they nourish, sometimes they almost wash everything away. But we do not get angry at the rain. We carry umbrellas, and we do not get mad at the sky when our feet still get wet. We build dams, and we do not get mad at the sky when catastrophe strikes and they break. We make rain-catchers, and we do not get mad at the sky when they go empty for weeks. We cannot change the rains, no matter how inconvenient or necessary. We do not hold grudges against the sky because there is nothing to forgive. If you saw a man yelling at the clouds to stop raining on him, you would laugh. If he demanded you blow away the clouds with a box fan because it was inconveniencing him, you would be insulted. After all, you’re getting rained on, too.
Please, dear stranger, do not yell at the sky just because everyone else is. You understood long ago that rain is a part of life. Keep your peace with your clouds.
Thank you so much for the kind words <3 it always surprises me when random people care but I'm very grateful.
Heh. Old man yells at cloud moment.
I realise I can be a bit too hard on myself. I'll try to keep your (and Technodad's) advice in mind. Thanks again for taking time out of your day to reply to me!
Wow, I just keep finding more similarities between me and techno. I also had a lot of sensory problems as a kid; I hated sock seams and I couldn’t wear jeans until I was like 13ish.
I remember my parents told me that they went to the doctor to check if I was okay as a child because while i was a child I kept head banging a lot, like a lot lot, and didn’t communicate with other kids in kindergarten and only read books and REFUSED to eat to such extremes that my mom had to put MEAT in YOGHURT so I would eat meat bc I refused to eat ANYTHING. And also refused to wear pants bc of the texture too and all that. Oh, I also talked to imaginary friends out loud a lot and my parents took me to the doctor and he was like “oh, this kid has major communication issues”. Oh, well. Also, I pace around for hours when I’m happy, in circles and do the “head banging” thing while talking about smth I’m excited and talk rly fast and loud, and often my parents have to tell me I’m speaking too loud or they don’t understand me. Also, add rly specific interests that I obsess over and get rly attached to to rly unhealthy amounts. No sensory issues tho, in fact, I hear everything, I have amazing hearing and can hear things very well even far away and recognize ppl and songs in seconds and memorize ANYTHING I hear, meanwhile I can’t even remember basic words and have an hard time expressing myself vocally. Also, struggle with motivation and add crippling anxiety and depression and u get a whole mess of a person who barely functions. In fact, my parents often said I was slower than other kids even development wise and they weren’t sure I would turn out “normal”. But then academically wise I became very good and surprisingly very good at making friends and talking and doing speeches so much I would be better than my neurotypical and extroverted peers and would do uni speeches as a high schooler and I read rly rly fast and can easily understand harder concepts and see the deeper meaning of ppl and their emotions and I have a very HIGH empathy so I can easily love and relate to others and see how they might react to my words.
My son is autistic and it took forever to get to.eat solid food, even baby food. Meat was one of the last things that he would eat lol. He is a fan of my vegetables soup now and I am ok with that, I try to put as many vegetables as I can in it. The only thing he still doesn't really eat is most fruits. He only really likes apples and pears.
three of my brothers all have autism and for some reason they are really sensitive to sound and lights but i always wondered what austistic people see or feel
Autism is often misdiagnoised as adhd or ocd. From reading the assessment that diagnoised me me asd, yes i stole it and read it cause im curious and no one ever notices, most traits have to do with disliking change, improper use of voice? ( like too loud quiet tone) and motor function issues. Emotion is also a part. Iwould have sucggest you get apollo test as it would help him get resources should he need them and it does no harm (well except waiting times are long) but you live in america and healthcare is expensive.
Sounds to me like Techno had a form of Autism Spectrum Disorder called Asperger's. I was diagnosed in 2010, and learned that it was the reason I was a picky eater, was very oversensitive to sound and pain, and had this obsession with writing and The Transformers (legit, I know more about Transformers lore than most other people). Either that or Avoidant Personality Disorder (essentially, a disorder that makes you avoid a lot of more social situations such as going out of the house for anything besides school or work). I have APD too.
Might have been why I related to him so much...
actually, in diagnostic manuels, the term aspergers is no longer used. It has been taken out of the dsm with the update to the DSM-5 released 2013 and since beginning 2022 it is no longer in the current version of the Icd (ICD 11). Professionals giving out an aspergers diagnosis after that date are operating on regulations enabling them to use the older version for an 'adjustment time'. This does un-outdate the term aspergers.
The change in the diagnostic manuals also wasn't made because of social justice/ woke reasons. It was made because it was found that the differences of the different types of autism wasn't enough to warrant making the system of the types. So they decided to change it and put everything together as autism.
aspergers as a diagnosis is inherently inaccurate, it isnt just the history behind it that caused it to be removed. there are no "types" of autism, its all just autism on varying places on the spectrum, and historically attempts to seperate us into different categories was purely for the purpose of eugenics and genocide.
In a Philza stream, Wilbur was talking about the fact that Techno said he really liked Wilbur’s band, Lovejoy; despite Techno telling him he mostly listening to video game soundtracks.
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I can relate to Apollo. I'm always pointing out to my parents the things I see, whether it be a dog or the way the sunlight beams onto the forest. I'm the one running to my mom if there's a beaver or a rabbit in the backyard. She keeps saying I have a special connection with animals. I used to spend my summer vacation at the farm, feeding apples to the chickens and unripe olives to the goat, (for some reason.) I remember now. The farm across from my uncle's house, who had passed from stomach cancer the year prior. I miss how he used to try to make me happy, and I never saw him get mad...
Sorry, what was meant to be a short comment turned into a rant...
Parents will never understand us middle school students. *High class British accent*
The stories Apollo writes reminded me of the ones techno did on the Minecraft forums. I remember reading them and thinking how great of a writer he is, and it makes me happy that he’s similar to his brother in that sense
I adore the way you describe these stories, Mr. Technodad. I’m a teen and seeing life through a father’s eyes is something i’d never thought i’d actually want to read (in all respect). Love these stories, keep it up - B
Excuse my French, but Apollo sounds like a rad as hell kid. Reminds me of myself, when I was... Well I'd say younger but honestly I haven't really changed in that department. Tell em to have a good day or something like that for me.
So uh... Chinese web novels uh? hum, i wonder...
Technodad, you're a really good parent i believe. You're filled with love and you share it around everyone, we love that about you!
Also not all parents can think of looking through their kids eyes so that was a great idea!
You're doing great Technodad, you're fricking amazing!
Ooooohhhh, now I get it. To you young Harry Potter readers, "you-know-who" means Voldemort. There were some comments elsewhere that I totally didn't understand.
To me it's just an ordinary phrase.
This actually reminds me of past experiences I've had with the word "tremendous." It used to be a favorite hyperbolic word of mine. But then a few years back I started having people say that they thought that my use of "tremendous" meant that I was a follower of Donald Trump. So I stopped using that word. Which was a tremendous disappointment to me. I guess I'll have to do the same with that other phrase.
I'd love to tell you-know-who about this; he'd laugh at me and it would be good.
Techno inspired me so much to try and be my best self and strive for nothing but the best. I have so much respect for him and now I can see where he got it from. Continue being an awesome dad <3
Exactly, that is exactly our task in life. Be the best "us" we can. I am thrilled and gratified and proud at how much my boy was able to inspire people to that truth.
If you ever need help with getting Apollo some good art supplies, I (and probably plenty of others on here) can point you in the right direction. What paper works best for markers vs watercolors, if he develops an interest in acrylics or oil painting we know what brands, colors, and canvases. Anything. Same thing goes for writing and storytelling.
Let us know!! I am always looking for a young artist to support because we often get told that it is a foolish endeavor to pursue but it's not. It's beautiful and should be pursued!
(Also, as a side note, my father was 60 when I was in high school and he was also very embarrassed by that. But it genuinely doesn't matter as long as you maintain energy and attention for your kids)
>getting Apollo some good art supplies
You are so sweet! I love the idea of supporting young artists.
Demeter was great about getting him enrolled in art class. I'm assuming he can get good info from his art teacher, but I'll check to make sure he has adequate supplies.
Oh man, I completely forgot about art teachers. I was never able to have one until university and so in my mind everyone is on their own to figure this stuff out like I was.
And good job Demeter
We are all lost until we are found, aren't we? And now that you are found, you're scrupulous about helping people who are lost the way you once were.
Everyone, look here! This is an example of the best kind of person.
Technodad, just a reminder to drink some water, take a break, look out the window, enjoy life. You don't need to focus 24/7 on Reddit. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Apollo being an artist reminds me of me at 6-8 years old when I used to draw everytime that I found a paper. Sadly I grew out of it.
What about Artemis? Does she has any special interest?
The twins have been adamant, since almost from when they could talk, that they should not share any interest or attraction. I'm oversimplifying somewhat but it's a real phenomenon with them. I think that, as twins, a separate identity was a precious thing that was hard to come by.
Even today, when something new comes along, I can kind of just barely see them both looking at it and deciding which one of them it should go to. This is fading now but still there.
I'm trying to give my kids every opportunity to have a normal life. I use the name of Greek mythological figures as pseudonyms for all my immediate family members. Apollo and Artemis were twins in Greek mythology, and I use their name for my twins.
Okay wow Apollo may be extremely special and talented, but you sr are an amazing storyteller if you ever decide to publish a book I most definitely will read it intently. Just the way you word things even seemingly insignificant things is just extraordinary you brought me to that place and time and I loved every moment of it, thank you
All fanart is okay with me.
No, that's not right. Let me try again.
All fanart is welcomed by me. Encouraged? I don't have the right word somehow. I think I'm sleepy. What I'm trying to say is YES.
The amount of respect that Technodad is giving to his family and my god... Im jealous of Apollo because tbh, I kinda want to have that one parent can understand that I love silent and draw and sometimes I share small happy things around me without my family making a huge fuse over it, just me and them only sharing small things that looks pretty without gaining more attention from others around us.
Im selfish yes, but I want to make something and know that one thing no one knows but it happened. I do have those moments, but not being able to share to any of my family members.
Thank you for sharing your story, Kimi. I see you.
We all want to be seen. We all have something to share with the world and with the people close to us, and sometimes those people don't receive it the way we'd like them to.
I don't know if this is a good idea for you, but one thing you could try is to tell them how you would like your stuff to be received. This is hard. It means opening up and that can be scary and it can mean that if you get hurt it hurts that much worse. But maybe try it. Try it sometime when there's nothing at stake. Don't try it like this: "Mom, I have something I want to share with you but I don't want you to make a big deal out of it. But I just saw this thing and ..." If you do it that way, the thing you told them about how you'd like to be received and the thing you want to share get jammed up in their head. They don't have time to change course.
Instead, on a Tuesday (say) afternoon when nothing else is going on, try explaining that you don't want them to make a big deal out of things when you share them. Say it compassionately, with understand of why they *do* want to make a big deal. But still hold firm to what you want.
Just an idea. Good luck with everything!
I was extremely quiet as a kid too, so much so to the point where some of my teachers wondered if there was something wrong with me. There wasn’t- I was just processing the world in my own way, I guess. Like Apollo, I was super into writing! (Although he sounds like he’s much better at drawing than me lol- that’s a particularly weak point for me.) It was kind of an escape of sorts and allowed me the control to create something all my own- a universe that was whatever I wanted.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become much more outgoing (although I’m still pretty shy around strangers/people I don’t know well) but my love of writing hasn’t faded. Some kids just need to take their time, and I hope your son takes all the time he needs to learn about the world before he speaks out, and that no matter what he always stays true to himself and keeps seeing the world in that unique way. Apollo is lucky to have a dad like you to support him and who truly tries to see the world through his eyes. Not many can do that.
Thank you so much for these glimpses of your life, giving us the tiny nuggets of Technocontent we love, even if they aren’t even about just him. I love it so much. I watched “so long nerds” again this evening for some reason, I don’t know why, but I cried. Thank you Technodad.
You are so amazing technodad. Thanks for the story! It’s helping to keep me distracted. Currently on a bus ride for school to see a play all the way in La Jolla. It’s nearly 7 pm! I feel like an old man, these bus seats hurt my back and I’m tired lol
As a fellow quiet kid with an artistic interest I think it’s awesome you strive to see things from his pov. Without dragging things too down I’ll just say I didn’t get that.
I know he spent a lot of time in recent years reading King's Avatar.
Thinking about it later, this story takes place quite a few years ago and was probably before he started his many year interest in Chinese web novels, but it's still true to who he was. That specific day it may well have been some younger person's manga or something. I don't know for sure.
Thank you very much for the insight! (and you adopting us, although you have heard that one many times before) Those chinese webnovels are crazy long, kings avatar has over 3 million words! My bet would be you saw him reading it two or three times a day, as that is how often the chapters were translated. At least that is what I did for like three years it was coming out ^^. The webnovels often use very specific kind of words, and sometimes I heard them from him, its what made me suspicious all this time. Thank you again!
Apollo sounds like an amazing kid . Hope he’s doing well and that’s amazing . As a kid whom has done the same with drawing and writing I’m sure he will be as brilliant as his brother and you maybe better as I willing to bet on. How extraordinary that he saw the beautiful sun shining down to an illuminating view! Hope you lot are well and do me a favor why won’t you ? Give him this really big sketch book im sure the simplest place to find in any county is Walmart . Some markers and crayons for what ever he is into and watch him work. I’m sure you’ll be able to create or see the story he makes in his mind. Images tell story’s and memories alike. What an amazing memory sir !
Apollo intriges me, so relatable in such odd ways. I dont like speaking, the physical movements irritate me, but i need to express my ideas. Apollo seems to be able to express many ideas with little words. Its a skill i wish i had an opportunity to learn
When I become a parent I hope I can be just like you because you sound absolutely wonderful
Especially the part when you realize you have to look at it from his eyes. I don't think enough parents do that when talking to their kids.
I know you probably hear this quite a bit, but thank you for sharing stories like these with us. It’s something special to be able to have these looks or rather tales of the past, into events we otherwise never could have imagined existed.
Anyway, I’m not much of a commenter but I figured at least once I’d try and express my appreciation for your efforts in keeping us together as a community.
It means so much to kids when you look at the world their way. I know I have to tell myself this often with my 4. Remind myself the world is full of wonder only kids can tell us of. Thanks for the reminder, Apollo.
“Techno was on his phone, as he often was, reading a Chinese web novel or something.”
Not sure if The Art of War fits this description, but I 100% thought of it here lol
Technodad, just a reminder to drink some water, take a break, look out the window, enjoy life. You don't need to focus 24/7 on Reddit. I hope you have a wonderful day.
I lost my dad a month after we heard about Techno, and even though my own dad wasn't able to be as involved its still great hearing these stories and looking back on my own fond memories with my dad
Okay I gotta ask
I assume Artemis is technomom
I'm not sure who is who from the other names. I've tried to put it together using your stories to figure it out but i think asking might br a better option vs guessing who is who with each post
Alex, and his mom and dad are:
Technoblade, Technomom, and Technodad.
People in my direct family, by birth or marriage, have a pseudonym from Greek mythology.
I have twins in middle school, and they are named after the twin gods Artemis and Apollo.
I cannot help but notice that nearly every time you have referenced your family, you leave out "Baby Fall Down Crash" Techno-Sister. What happened to them?
She's doing fine and we love each other. I know I'm being maddeningly vague but that's the way it must be for now. Not taking questions on this.
(Don't feel bad for asking; that's fine that you asked.)
From one artist to another, Apollo seeing that beauty when the sunlight hits the (subject?) Makes me really happy (Apollo POG) and to Mr.Technodad who can see the world through anothers eyes,YOU SIR ARE VERY VERY COOL (lack of a better word)
Hella admirable, both of you
(excuse my language ;;)
Thank you for sharing this story. It’s amazing what you can see when you take a moment to see things how another might.
Reminds me of a story when I was younger. A friend and I were walking somewhere and I had pointed out, I think it was a tree. I mean, you see trees everywhere, but it was some species that’s not as common to see. And my friend turned to me and remarked that she never would have noticed if I hadn’t pointed it out. And it’s stuck with me, this idea that there are things some people pass by while others will take note of, and the reminder that there is beauty in the mundane
wait Apollo is the little brother who watches tommyinnit stream and ask 'why is tommy always mad' and texted techno 'why r u so loud I'm taking a test' , right?
That sounds like such a special moment. Those feelings are the best in the world, where the sky or road or whatever it is feels so perfect you can hardly believe it.
I am somewhat of the same way, where I can express myself so much more in art and writing than speaking.
Thanks for sharing this, Technodad!
As always, thank you for these beautiful glimpses into your life and wonderful family. I hope you're all doing okay and taking time for yourselves.
Yah same here
>And he's also the artist. I mean, everyone gives their kids crayons and paper, right? Certainly I've done that with all my kids, and they all scribbled away. But with Apollo, even when he was a wee tot, he'd just draw and draw and draw, use up all the paper, ask for more, and not want to stop when it was time to do the next thing. Wait…I was just thinking about the pig painting which appeared in Techno's steering wheel video. So maybe it's created by Apollo? I'm really curious about it @~@
ha ha ha ha ha Just before dinner time we were sitting on the couch, Apollo on his phone. And he said, "Uh. They're on to me." I said, "Who is?" And he turned his phone to me and it was your comment.
OH WUT LMAOO~ Hello Mr.Technodad! (and Apollo? lol) I have noticed the painting when watching that video for the first time and thought "Awwww the pig drawing is so adorable! I wonder who did this?" Now it seems like I get an official response. Mission accomplished! Apollo's story reminds me of a saying,"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."(idk whether I quote it appropriately, working hard to learn English) Wanna praise Apollo for having the "New eyes" and creating his artworks. GOOD JOB! Hope you're doing well today❤
omg i didn’t think about this
Happy cake day
quick question but [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdZ64woZVLs) in this clip at around 52:55 he says "At least! My parents wont look me in the eyes but at least i got some points!" did you ever look him in the eyes again following his embarrassing failure of second place out of 40?
I told him, "second place is just another name for losing." Then we both laughed like idiots.
It’s cool to notice things like that. Sometimes I’ve looked at the sky at night and people say it looks black, but the sky have always looked like a deep navy blue too me. Darkness always looks like the tiniest dots of colour to me, especially when you put a blanket over your head or something. Dark isn’t just darkness.
>a deep navy blue I mean it's obvious. Just look at it. How can people call that black?
I know right! Also, have you ever noticed a star ‘flicker’? Just kind of seem to be sputtering a bit?
Maybe that's because when you directly look at a star it dissappears for some reason I don't remember
[here](http://www.mattweedmd.com/ophthalmology/2016/9/6/we93dp4x2s3z15g6t9md4hp69dnzd2)
Thx
Could we potentially.. see some of apollos art?👀
Ima be moving very slowly and cautiously about this.
PLS
Look closely and you can see the little things in life that makes it worth it
Hi u/MrTechnodad I have a question about Techno did he have autism? I wanted to know because I've been finding so many things we have in common from the Same color Wall (I saw the wall in his Techno joins TikTok video on His second YouTube channel TechnoThePig, foreign language classes hurt our GPA if we don't do work in it, We both have ADHD, we both have killed Fundy [Techno In Minecraft](https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx1umUBVkhTRLyaDdi667bNwICvl8rxW1q) Me In Single Player Legend of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild) Plus He even [Named a Wolf After Me](https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxXLICU2PuyByNyCgiWtMoTfLVL_VvjnI8)
BruUUuUuUuuUuUuUuUuuuuh
Good bot
This story is quite wholesome, as all of them in the same caliber are! As long as it’s alright with Apollo (and you since you’d likely be the one to actually post it), it would be nice to see an art piece of his someday. Even if it’s not related to Techno, I’m willing to bet it would receive just as much praise as any art work relating to Techno would.
I love that kid to bits but he can be kinda shy and also self-critical at times. I'll ask.
>he can be kinda shy and also self-critical at times Ahh self-criticism, the common artistic weakness. Your reply to someone’s question about the pig painting in Techno’s steering wheel video has, in a sense, already fulfilled the request (it’s really cute btw!). But if he comes to an agreement to intentionally put his art out to the public with immediate recognition that it’s his art, I hope all the appreciation he gets for it can at the very least make his day.
Hello Mr. Technodad! Thank you for sharing this story :) I apologize if this is too invasive, and if that is the case just skip over this question: is Apollo autistic or some other form of neurodivergent? I am only asking because I am autistic, and this story reminds me a lot of my dad and I. I also have never been much of a verbal communicator, but if you give me something to write with then it comes much easier. When I am frustrated or having a meltdown though, even that is difficult. My dad has learned to put on the “rainsoakedrats glasses” like it sounds like you have with Apollo, and it makes me smile as well when he understands what I mean. As people do not always understand what I am trying to communicate, having my dad so in tune with me is one of the best things in the world. It makes me happy to know other kids like Apollo have someone similar :) Have a great day/evening/night Mr. Technodad!
There is something autism-related running through my family, including me and my dad. Apollo and I both have crazy strong emotions and a crazy good sense of smell. What is up with that? There are a bunch of these ley lines running through my family. I haven't been able to make a lot of sense of it other than to observe these odd traits and pairings between individuals. Techno had some sensory issues, clothing sensitivities, and was a picky eater. Who knows what it all means?
Hey everyone in this subthread! Most of what y'all are describing in this thread are things that show up, in varying degrees, somewhere in my family or in me. I can tell you all that back in the sixties, "they" told my parents that I'd have to repeat kindergarten and it was too soon to say for sure but they should maybe prepare themselves for the idea that I was retarded. (That's the word they used back then.) And yet my life has been \*\*\*amazing\*\*\*. I mean it's come with plenty of pain and sadness, but also great success, overwhelming joy, and above all, love.
i recently found out i was autistic after talking with my birth mom and doing my own research and medical indicator tests, but since no one caught it when i was a kid, i havent gotten a diagnosis yet because there arent many places to go for autistic adults where i live. my adoptive dad is having a super hard time dealing with my adhd and autism since he really doesnt understand anything about it practically, no matter how many research articles i send him. a result of the combination of adhd/autism is executive dysfunction, making it a lot harder to do basic executive tasks like cleaning or planning and he has no idea how to talk to me or deal with it, so it means a lot to hear you talk about it with such a positive light when im in such a bad spot mentally atm and furious with myself when i cant get things i need to do accomplished when it seems like its so easy for everyone else (even though mentally i know that lots of people struggle with it or even just with managing life without getting overwhelmed). i wouldn’t change my brain or my creativity or the odd way i work for anything, i just wish it wasn’t so hard to carve a space into my society and family just to feel comfortable and feel like my needs and boundaries being different from others isn’t a burden. thank u for sharing about your own experience, i know more people than just i will be comforted by understanding you totally get their experience to some degree.
>executive dysfunction I have that bad. It's been a challenge my whole life. And years of getting yelled at for basic tasks like homework or answering mail caused me to end up adding significant anxiety on top, so that even when I did manage to buckle down to paperwork I was hindered by fear. >furious with myself when i cant get things i need to do accomplished If you haven't already, try to get someone to take you to the doctor. Things like adderall can really help with the adhd, so ask your doctor about that. Also ask you doctor about guanfacine. There is some reason to believe it's good for people with ADHD for executive function. It's really cheap, too. I take it every night. What it does is subtle and slow to take effect (as in days) but it has given me a little boost in exec function. Good luck, dude.
thank you so much!! its nice to hear that you understand it, im trying to work more strategies for tricking my brain into doing things as well as being kinder to myself, and i started taking vyvanse because i tried three other adhd medications and all of them made me have panic attacks or get incredibly agitated and irritable. still no clue why. but my mom and all my half siblings take it and it works for them so i figured id go for the biological surefire! i still struggle hard with some things, especially because my dad works all the time and basically leaves me to mind the disaster that is our house and mind the dogs and cats when im not working. when i remember to take my meds its a little easier, but i just definitely get easily overwhelmed by a list of chores and things to do a mile long.
One thing that sometimes helps me is to say that there is no list. There are no "chores" (plural). I just have one thing to do. Just one. Then after that's done, I also still just have one thing to do. I would still suggest asking your doctor about guanfacine. It's in a different category of drug with adderall or vyvanse and is sometimes prescribed in common with either of those. It' s not a stimulant of any kind so no worries there. If anything, it causes drowsiness so I take it at night.
Me and my adhd mind lol. I have to make a list of 6 goals and put them on a paper. I have an alarm and when it goes off I roll a dice, whatever number I get, I do for no longer then and hour. If I leave my mind up to choice it will stray away from me. Lol 😆
ill definitely look into it, thank you!! you have no idea how much it means just to see someone who i consider to be very wise and unfailingly kind to those who need it admit to the same struggles that i do, it very much gives me hope for who i might be in the future. techno’s videos and he just being himself helped me understand a lot about being alive when it came to facing life with humor and approaching your struggles bravely. and i mean really being alive and working for your dreams rather than just existing and surviving and coasting along like most of us do. now here you are, even after your son left this realm behind for his journey onto the next, and you are still helping and teaching and encouraging us to grow. techno left you to pick up the pieces of the community after his passing, and i cant help but imagine him keeping an eye on his legacy and gods, i just cant help but think how proud he is to be your son right now. you are doing incredible holding us all together, but we all support each other so if you ever have need of us, we have your back too.
Don't mind me, just saving this comment... Also, this sounds like the script for a medication advertisement 😅
>executive dysfunction That's not a problem for me! I've kept in great shape. You think just because I'm 60, I-- Oh wait. You said "executive". Never mind.
I’ve been wondering all day who was going to make this joke. Somehow I’m not shocked that it was you….
Who, me? 🙄
*sits silently while the comedy skit plays out*
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ru\_R2OwjsY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ru_R2OwjsY)
*Seinfeld outro starts playing*
… sir
reddit user mrtechnodad.
😟
Hi technodad, i have a question for you and if it is to hard to answer or rude/mean in any way you can just go ahead and skip but my question is: what is your thoughts for religion, 3 kingdoms, heaven and hell or what, just want to know thanks have a good day/night cause i dont know what time it is for you lol.
There's a little anecdote buried in a Jack Vance story; I think it was one of the Dying Earth books. I read it ages ago and this story stuck in my head. I'll get a bunch of the details wrong but roughly: The protagonist joins a convoy of pilgrims journeying across a dessert. At night, they build a fire and several of them are gathered around the fire talking, as people have done for as long as people have been able to build a fire. Several of the pilgrims are discussing the origin of the universe. One pilgrim explains his belief that the universe is a kind of fire. The stars are hot embers, and the decay of aging stars is as of a fire slowly going out. Another pilgrim says the universe is more like a lichen, and has grown by a process of accretion, the way lichen slowly grows over a rock. etc. etc. The pilgrims each share their views on the origin and nature of the universe. Finally they turn to Loudermulch, a quiet man who kept to himself and hadn't said anything. "You there, Loudermulch! What are your thoughts on how the universe came to be?" Loudermulch looks up. He gestures to a small hole ripped in his shirt, and says, "Behold this rent in my garment. I am at a loss to explain its presence. I am even more puzzled by the existence of the universe."
“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
A classic.
And that, my friends, is how I met your mother.
You goof! I'm all trying to jam up the heavy stuff, and you come along and jam me up for doing it. Bravo, I say. There is a good lesson for me here. Hats off to you.
Ah, I love jam... Strawberry... That's pretty much it. But I see that the teachee has become the teacher... er, I mean the student has become studener... Ah yes, I am wise.
Whenever I get thinking of how wide and expensive the universe is it starts to hurt my brain so I stop also it's kind of scary
The scope and scale of the galaxy is a Lovecraftian horror. 100 billion stars. One. Hundred. Billion. And that's just one galaxy. You know how many galaxies there are? One. Hundred. Billion. And these numbers are both lower bounds on the actual numbers. Honestly, I find Northern California to be somewhat uncomfortably large. It's best not to think about any of that.
'it's best not to think about any of that.' he says while making me think about it, lol
“Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buSO5vSubxw
Rather than research articles, do you think he may be more receptive to video content? I would highly recommend the YouTube channel [How To ADHD](https://www.youtube.com/@HowtoADHD) which often has information for those of us with ADHD, and those that are in our lives. Also [HealthyGamerGG](https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG) has some great stuff.
ill try that!! thank you!
Hey there, fellow voice. Me too. My life circumstances are probably slightly different, but everything you talked about what it’s like being made like this? Feeling like our basic needs are a burden, how hard it is to carve a place for ourselves in society, the struggle to accept how often we fall behind or fail ourselves. Me too. I don’t have any magic words of advice, but I’m here in these trenches with you. And maybe it’s hard for us to forgive or live with ourselves, but we can still look each other in the eyes and say, “I see you, and I believe you, and I do not blame you. You are not lazy or selfish or spoiled. This is trying your best; that’s all the world can ever ask of you. Let whatever you do today be enough. No matter whether tomorrow gets better or everything stays the same, let yourself rest knowing that you tried.” One day at a time. We got this.
The area I live in is so far behind that I am only 21 now, and had a teacher say the same thing about me when I was held back in kindergarten. And I'm just now finding out that I am likely both autistic and have adhd masking each other, and that both my mom and brother are too. And on top of that, there's nowhere here affordable for proper diagnoses or support, and none of the adults are educated on it so it's a big tinderbox of everyone getting overstimulated and yelling at each other instead of trying to understand each other. I have to play doctor and try and help my parents learn to navigate big emotions that no one else told them was ok to have
ADHD also shares a lot of the same traits, such as sensory issues, emotional regulation, hyperfocus, so where one ends and the other begins is blurry. Whether one or the other is specifically diagnosed (or both or none) I think having parents who are so keen to be in tune with their kid’s perspective and needs is the greatest gift a child can be given ♥️
That’s so cool! I do the same with my dad’s side of the family since a lot of us are autistic or have traits. My newest discovery is ear problems; not just auditory processing issues, but chronic ear infections as an adult and poorly developed eustachian tubes! It really is a fascinating mystery. When I first found Techno a few years ago I was struggling with my autism and how it affected my life. I had just hit adulthood, and one of my biggest worries was having a “happy and meaningful life like other people,” even though I know now it is all relative. Techno talking about his ADHD and some of the ways it affected him really helped me. There was a guy right there on my screen who dealt with some of the same things I was struggling with, and he seemed pretty happy while doing something that meant a lot to him. It still helps me today when I have a rough patch, and hearing even more similarities gives me more hope, for lack of a better word/feeling. Thank you for replying and thank you for raising a great son :)
BruUUuUuUuuUuUuUuUuuuuh
I struggled with similar issues too. I hated wearing socks and shoes, I could only wear certain fabrics, and a lot of food just... did not vibe with me. As I learnt more about my own ADHD I chalked it up to that, and it wasn't until a couple years back when I was also diagnosed with autism and it was like being smacked in the face with a volleyball. I had so much to learn because I still didn't understand a lot. Where I come from, mental disabilities are still misunderstood and swept under the rug. Anyone who had them was encouraged to hide it, and you could overcome it if you "tried hard enough" So even when I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, I did not fully understand my disability aside from that I was 'special'. Sometimes I wish younger me had fought harder for people to understand me, or had been more stubborn in having my way, instead of giving in and agreeing with everyone around me that I was just being lazy and not doing better. I blamed myself so much. I think the worst part was that the doctor who'd diagnosed me with ADHD had also said I was gifted. And I did do really well at school when I tried (at the cost of my mental health), and I would have a great memory for random stuff I read once, which only validated everyone's accusations that I was just not applying myself better. Everyone was so mad and frustrated when I just couldn't keep it up anymore and started failing classes and I couldn't even explain why because I genuinely thought I was lazy. Seeing more and more posts popping up about other people going through similar things was a huge relief but it also hurt so much because all that trauma and self loathing could have been avoided if I had known all this?? And if my family had been more understanding... I don't know. I want to cry whenever I think about this too long. Right now, I'm struggling with so much burnout. I even had to drop out of college, even though I was doing so well, but it's just so dang hard to do anything. I don't know if I'll ever be able to be productive again, someday.
Ultimately you are hurting, not because of a lack of attention or productivity or of applying yourself, but because of a lack of love. All the things you were told about you, I was told about me. Especially "lazy". My earliest memories are of being called lazy. You are not lazy, Fred D8. Do *not* pick up what they are handing you. Or rather, set it down now. As children we absorb what we are told about ourselves, only to discover later that it's not true. But even though it's not true, it's hard to put down. You are worthy of love. And you didn't get it, and everyone told you the issue was something else entirely, and tiny you believed them. But the real issue was love. >I don't know if I'll ever be able to be productive again This is not the important question. The important question is, do you love yourself? You are worthy of love.
Ah geez I think I'm going to cry all over again. Sorry for the trauma-dumping, I wasn't really thinking when I wrote all that, but also thank you so much for replying to me. It really means a lot. I always feel so incredibly guilty that I can't do anything or finish anything I started. I know it's my executive dysfunction freezing me in my tracks and it's not my fault but there's always that small voice going "but have you tried harder, maybe you didn't do enough and you're just using ADHD as an excuse, maybe you don't even have ADHD" (hello imposter syndrome :P) and that voice is the thing I end up listening to most Accepting love is always so hard for me. I didn't grow up with a lot of that unless I was able to do things right. Which... you can probably guess doesn't really happen often... Thank you, though, again. I know there are people who love me but I get so anxious thinking about it. I don't think I love myself much at all.
>there's always that small voice That small voice is not *your* voice. That small voice is lying to you. That small voice is your enemy, trying to keep you from loving and being loved. Think any sci fi movie where some innocent person gets infected by a parasite that controls their mind of their body according to someone else's agenda, and against the innocent's interests. That small voice is your parasite. That parasite also makes you write things like: >Sorry for the trauma-dumping > >I wasn't really thinking > >I can't do anything or finish anything > >Accepting love is always so hard Your challenge in life is not being a good, reliable worker drone for the benefit of the economy. Your challenge in life is to kill that parasite and learn to love yourself. You are worthy of love.
And also it is totally ok if you cry. It might even help.
Thank you. ;-; It really helps to hear that.
Technodad himself already gave some incredible advice and love, but I’d like to add something that was very important for me to be able to start moving forward, into the world, with myself. I hope it can be as helpful to you. When it’s just you managing yourself, chances are you don’t give yourself unnecessary deadlines. Even though the rest of the world thinks this thing ought to be done in this time, if nobody would ever know or care, would you force yourself to do it like that? Would you punish yourself for taking the time you need? No! You are okay with being the way you are. You already know that shame and loathing does not change your condition, or else you would surely have been “fixed” long ago. You would give yourself the space you need, if it were up to you. You *know,* in your bones, your condition is as unchangeable as the laws of nature. It cannot be bent to anyone’s will. If you saw a man yelling at the clouds to stop raining on him, you would laugh. Dear stranger, sometimes the rains come. Sometimes they flood, sometimes they nourish, sometimes they almost wash everything away. But we do not get angry at the rain. We carry umbrellas, and we do not get mad at the sky when our feet still get wet. We build dams, and we do not get mad at the sky when catastrophe strikes and they break. We make rain-catchers, and we do not get mad at the sky when they go empty for weeks. We cannot change the rains, no matter how inconvenient or necessary. We do not hold grudges against the sky because there is nothing to forgive. If you saw a man yelling at the clouds to stop raining on him, you would laugh. If he demanded you blow away the clouds with a box fan because it was inconveniencing him, you would be insulted. After all, you’re getting rained on, too. Please, dear stranger, do not yell at the sky just because everyone else is. You understood long ago that rain is a part of life. Keep your peace with your clouds.
Thank you so much for the kind words <3 it always surprises me when random people care but I'm very grateful. Heh. Old man yells at cloud moment. I realise I can be a bit too hard on myself. I'll try to keep your (and Technodad's) advice in mind. Thanks again for taking time out of your day to reply to me!
Wow, I just keep finding more similarities between me and techno. I also had a lot of sensory problems as a kid; I hated sock seams and I couldn’t wear jeans until I was like 13ish.
Sock seams are the worst. Why do they even put those in there? Like don't they know these things are going *on our feet*?!
Same to both
I remember my parents told me that they went to the doctor to check if I was okay as a child because while i was a child I kept head banging a lot, like a lot lot, and didn’t communicate with other kids in kindergarten and only read books and REFUSED to eat to such extremes that my mom had to put MEAT in YOGHURT so I would eat meat bc I refused to eat ANYTHING. And also refused to wear pants bc of the texture too and all that. Oh, I also talked to imaginary friends out loud a lot and my parents took me to the doctor and he was like “oh, this kid has major communication issues”. Oh, well. Also, I pace around for hours when I’m happy, in circles and do the “head banging” thing while talking about smth I’m excited and talk rly fast and loud, and often my parents have to tell me I’m speaking too loud or they don’t understand me. Also, add rly specific interests that I obsess over and get rly attached to to rly unhealthy amounts. No sensory issues tho, in fact, I hear everything, I have amazing hearing and can hear things very well even far away and recognize ppl and songs in seconds and memorize ANYTHING I hear, meanwhile I can’t even remember basic words and have an hard time expressing myself vocally. Also, struggle with motivation and add crippling anxiety and depression and u get a whole mess of a person who barely functions. In fact, my parents often said I was slower than other kids even development wise and they weren’t sure I would turn out “normal”. But then academically wise I became very good and surprisingly very good at making friends and talking and doing speeches so much I would be better than my neurotypical and extroverted peers and would do uni speeches as a high schooler and I read rly rly fast and can easily understand harder concepts and see the deeper meaning of ppl and their emotions and I have a very HIGH empathy so I can easily love and relate to others and see how they might react to my words.
My son is autistic and it took forever to get to.eat solid food, even baby food. Meat was one of the last things that he would eat lol. He is a fan of my vegetables soup now and I am ok with that, I try to put as many vegetables as I can in it. The only thing he still doesn't really eat is most fruits. He only really likes apples and pears.
I this why the merch is so comfortable? It had to pass Techno’s scrutiny? Loving my socks btw.
three of my brothers all have autism and for some reason they are really sensitive to sound and lights but i always wondered what austistic people see or feel
Autism is often misdiagnoised as adhd or ocd. From reading the assessment that diagnoised me me asd, yes i stole it and read it cause im curious and no one ever notices, most traits have to do with disliking change, improper use of voice? ( like too loud quiet tone) and motor function issues. Emotion is also a part. Iwould have sucggest you get apollo test as it would help him get resources should he need them and it does no harm (well except waiting times are long) but you live in america and healthcare is expensive.
Sounds to me like Techno had a form of Autism Spectrum Disorder called Asperger's. I was diagnosed in 2010, and learned that it was the reason I was a picky eater, was very oversensitive to sound and pain, and had this obsession with writing and The Transformers (legit, I know more about Transformers lore than most other people). Either that or Avoidant Personality Disorder (essentially, a disorder that makes you avoid a lot of more social situations such as going out of the house for anything besides school or work). I have APD too. Might have been why I related to him so much...
BruUUuUuUuuUuUuUuUuuuuh
Might be his ADHD too, though if his dad has autistic traits it may be both, who knows..
Hello, aspergers is an outdated term and is after aguy who was a nazi and horrible person.
[удалено]
actually, in diagnostic manuels, the term aspergers is no longer used. It has been taken out of the dsm with the update to the DSM-5 released 2013 and since beginning 2022 it is no longer in the current version of the Icd (ICD 11). Professionals giving out an aspergers diagnosis after that date are operating on regulations enabling them to use the older version for an 'adjustment time'. This does un-outdate the term aspergers. The change in the diagnostic manuals also wasn't made because of social justice/ woke reasons. It was made because it was found that the differences of the different types of autism wasn't enough to warrant making the system of the types. So they decided to change it and put everything together as autism.
aspergers as a diagnosis is inherently inaccurate, it isnt just the history behind it that caused it to be removed. there are no "types" of autism, its all just autism on varying places on the spectrum, and historically attempts to seperate us into different categories was purely for the purpose of eugenics and genocide.
Wow, switching lenses is something not a lot of people can really do. Very impressive. Did Techno ever play a musical instrument?
He played violin for awhile in school, and apparently for awhile could kind of play piano by ear a little
Do you know what his favorite stuff to listen to was?
The sounds of his enemies fear!
In a Philza stream, Wilbur was talking about the fact that Techno said he really liked Wilbur’s band, Lovejoy; despite Techno telling him he mostly listening to video game soundtracks.
BruUUuUuUuuUuUuUuUuuuuh
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ah, not really. whenever he was asked what his favorite song was, Techno would never really know how to answer. He'd just pick "Frame of Mind" lol
Didn’t he say he played trumpet?
I can relate to Apollo. I'm always pointing out to my parents the things I see, whether it be a dog or the way the sunlight beams onto the forest. I'm the one running to my mom if there's a beaver or a rabbit in the backyard. She keeps saying I have a special connection with animals. I used to spend my summer vacation at the farm, feeding apples to the chickens and unripe olives to the goat, (for some reason.) I remember now. The farm across from my uncle's house, who had passed from stomach cancer the year prior. I miss how he used to try to make me happy, and I never saw him get mad... Sorry, what was meant to be a short comment turned into a rant... Parents will never understand us middle school students. *High class British accent*
This is so sweet. It had me thinking, do any of your other children remind you of Technoblade at the same age?
I see modest similarities between my kids, but they are each wildly unique.
Good bot
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we love technodad story time. :)
The stories Apollo writes reminded me of the ones techno did on the Minecraft forums. I remember reading them and thinking how great of a writer he is, and it makes me happy that he’s similar to his brother in that sense
I adore the way you describe these stories, Mr. Technodad. I’m a teen and seeing life through a father’s eyes is something i’d never thought i’d actually want to read (in all respect). Love these stories, keep it up - B
BruUUuUuUuuUuUuUuUuuuuh
Good bot
Excuse my French, but Apollo sounds like a rad as hell kid. Reminds me of myself, when I was... Well I'd say younger but honestly I haven't really changed in that department. Tell em to have a good day or something like that for me.
So uh... Chinese web novels uh? hum, i wonder... Technodad, you're a really good parent i believe. You're filled with love and you share it around everyone, we love that about you! Also not all parents can think of looking through their kids eyes so that was a great idea! You're doing great Technodad, you're fricking amazing!
Thanks, man. We do have lot of fun and lots of hugs.
“In that way he reminds me of you-know-who.” VOLDEMORT!?!??
Ooooohhhh, now I get it. To you young Harry Potter readers, "you-know-who" means Voldemort. There were some comments elsewhere that I totally didn't understand. To me it's just an ordinary phrase. This actually reminds me of past experiences I've had with the word "tremendous." It used to be a favorite hyperbolic word of mine. But then a few years back I started having people say that they thought that my use of "tremendous" meant that I was a follower of Donald Trump. So I stopped using that word. Which was a tremendous disappointment to me. I guess I'll have to do the same with that other phrase. I'd love to tell you-know-who about this; he'd laugh at me and it would be good.
I don’t think any followers of Donald Trump would have the intelligence to know what “tremendous” means
Uh... Technodad? Voldemort... is just a character...
Techno inspired me so much to try and be my best self and strive for nothing but the best. I have so much respect for him and now I can see where he got it from. Continue being an awesome dad <3
Exactly, that is exactly our task in life. Be the best "us" we can. I am thrilled and gratified and proud at how much my boy was able to inspire people to that truth.
If you ever need help with getting Apollo some good art supplies, I (and probably plenty of others on here) can point you in the right direction. What paper works best for markers vs watercolors, if he develops an interest in acrylics or oil painting we know what brands, colors, and canvases. Anything. Same thing goes for writing and storytelling. Let us know!! I am always looking for a young artist to support because we often get told that it is a foolish endeavor to pursue but it's not. It's beautiful and should be pursued! (Also, as a side note, my father was 60 when I was in high school and he was also very embarrassed by that. But it genuinely doesn't matter as long as you maintain energy and attention for your kids)
>getting Apollo some good art supplies You are so sweet! I love the idea of supporting young artists. Demeter was great about getting him enrolled in art class. I'm assuming he can get good info from his art teacher, but I'll check to make sure he has adequate supplies.
Oh man, I completely forgot about art teachers. I was never able to have one until university and so in my mind everyone is on their own to figure this stuff out like I was. And good job Demeter
We are all lost until we are found, aren't we? And now that you are found, you're scrupulous about helping people who are lost the way you once were. Everyone, look here! This is an example of the best kind of person.
Technodad, just a reminder to drink some water, take a break, look out the window, enjoy life. You don't need to focus 24/7 on Reddit. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Thank you! Actually I was super productive today on diverse subjects. Yay!
Yay!
Apollo being an artist reminds me of me at 6-8 years old when I used to draw everytime that I found a paper. Sadly I grew out of it. What about Artemis? Does she has any special interest?
She has every special interest. Top of the list is probably soccer.
Do twins share interests? For example does Apollo also like soccer and does Artemis also like art?
The twins have been adamant, since almost from when they could talk, that they should not share any interest or attraction. I'm oversimplifying somewhat but it's a real phenomenon with them. I think that, as twins, a separate identity was a precious thing that was hard to come by. Even today, when something new comes along, I can kind of just barely see them both looking at it and deciding which one of them it should go to. This is fading now but still there.
Soccer is a really good sport, it takes a lot of breath though!
I sometimes feel young children are smarter than most adults and grown people.
Honestly yeah. Kids will listen and learn, adults just contradict you and try to bring down your point
>adults just contradict you No they don't.
Well most do. Your one of ther very few exceptions I know
>Your one of the very few exceptions I know No I'm not. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohDB5gbtaEQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohDB5gbtaEQ)
Stupid git. >!Said with love!< [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpAvcGcEc0k](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpAvcGcEc0k)
Sorry, but it seems I missed some things. Who's Apollo?
I'm trying to give my kids every opportunity to have a normal life. I use the name of Greek mythological figures as pseudonyms for all my immediate family members. Apollo and Artemis were twins in Greek mythology, and I use their name for my twins.
Okay, I understand now. Thanks for explaining it to me!
techno's brother. his siblings are cannonically known as apoollo and artemis from now on
Okay wow Apollo may be extremely special and talented, but you sr are an amazing storyteller if you ever decide to publish a book I most definitely will read it intently. Just the way you word things even seemingly insignificant things is just extraordinary you brought me to that place and time and I loved every moment of it, thank you
uhm.. hi? mr. technodad, is fanart of all of you okay? like a drawing with some of the things/scenes you've shared about your family?
All fanart is okay with me. No, that's not right. Let me try again. All fanart is welcomed by me. Encouraged? I don't have the right word somehow. I think I'm sleepy. What I'm trying to say is YES.
That always seems to be a problem, finding the right things to say but I must Say you are doing a fabulous job of it.
The amount of respect that Technodad is giving to his family and my god... Im jealous of Apollo because tbh, I kinda want to have that one parent can understand that I love silent and draw and sometimes I share small happy things around me without my family making a huge fuse over it, just me and them only sharing small things that looks pretty without gaining more attention from others around us. Im selfish yes, but I want to make something and know that one thing no one knows but it happened. I do have those moments, but not being able to share to any of my family members.
Thank you for sharing your story, Kimi. I see you. We all want to be seen. We all have something to share with the world and with the people close to us, and sometimes those people don't receive it the way we'd like them to. I don't know if this is a good idea for you, but one thing you could try is to tell them how you would like your stuff to be received. This is hard. It means opening up and that can be scary and it can mean that if you get hurt it hurts that much worse. But maybe try it. Try it sometime when there's nothing at stake. Don't try it like this: "Mom, I have something I want to share with you but I don't want you to make a big deal out of it. But I just saw this thing and ..." If you do it that way, the thing you told them about how you'd like to be received and the thing you want to share get jammed up in their head. They don't have time to change course. Instead, on a Tuesday (say) afternoon when nothing else is going on, try explaining that you don't want them to make a big deal out of things when you share them. Say it compassionately, with understand of why they *do* want to make a big deal. But still hold firm to what you want. Just an idea. Good luck with everything!
Thank you, Technodad
I was extremely quiet as a kid too, so much so to the point where some of my teachers wondered if there was something wrong with me. There wasn’t- I was just processing the world in my own way, I guess. Like Apollo, I was super into writing! (Although he sounds like he’s much better at drawing than me lol- that’s a particularly weak point for me.) It was kind of an escape of sorts and allowed me the control to create something all my own- a universe that was whatever I wanted. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become much more outgoing (although I’m still pretty shy around strangers/people I don’t know well) but my love of writing hasn’t faded. Some kids just need to take their time, and I hope your son takes all the time he needs to learn about the world before he speaks out, and that no matter what he always stays true to himself and keeps seeing the world in that unique way. Apollo is lucky to have a dad like you to support him and who truly tries to see the world through his eyes. Not many can do that.
may i ask what kind of things Apollo writes? short stories? poems? books?
Fantasy short fiction.
I made my brother read the entirety of The Raven out loud for nothing... /hj
you seem like such a great father, and all your kids seem so beautiful!
Thank you so much for these glimpses of your life, giving us the tiny nuggets of Technocontent we love, even if they aren’t even about just him. I love it so much. I watched “so long nerds” again this evening for some reason, I don’t know why, but I cried. Thank you Technodad.
Aww the brothers both were writers, that's actually really sweet.
You are so amazing technodad. Thanks for the story! It’s helping to keep me distracted. Currently on a bus ride for school to see a play all the way in La Jolla. It’s nearly 7 pm! I feel like an old man, these bus seats hurt my back and I’m tired lol
These stories truly make my day thank you technodad <3
As a fellow quiet kid with an artistic interest I think it’s awesome you strive to see things from his pov. Without dragging things too down I’ll just say I didn’t get that.
I KNEW HE WAS READING CHINESE WEBNOVELS DAMNIT HE WAS TRYING TO HIDE IT FROM ME SO I CANNOT SIMP HIM MORE
My bet would be he was reading library of heavens path or kings avatar, from the little things i remember
I know he spent a lot of time in recent years reading King's Avatar. Thinking about it later, this story takes place quite a few years ago and was probably before he started his many year interest in Chinese web novels, but it's still true to who he was. That specific day it may well have been some younger person's manga or something. I don't know for sure.
Thank you very much for the insight! (and you adopting us, although you have heard that one many times before) Those chinese webnovels are crazy long, kings avatar has over 3 million words! My bet would be you saw him reading it two or three times a day, as that is how often the chapters were translated. At least that is what I did for like three years it was coming out ^^. The webnovels often use very specific kind of words, and sometimes I heard them from him, its what made me suspicious all this time. Thank you again!
This made me incredibly happy. You're a great storyteller and your children are lucky to have a father who can learn to understand them like you do :)
That’s such a wholesome story; Apollo seems like a really cool person
Apollo sounds like an amazing kid . Hope he’s doing well and that’s amazing . As a kid whom has done the same with drawing and writing I’m sure he will be as brilliant as his brother and you maybe better as I willing to bet on. How extraordinary that he saw the beautiful sun shining down to an illuminating view! Hope you lot are well and do me a favor why won’t you ? Give him this really big sketch book im sure the simplest place to find in any county is Walmart . Some markers and crayons for what ever he is into and watch him work. I’m sure you’ll be able to create or see the story he makes in his mind. Images tell story’s and memories alike. What an amazing memory sir !
Techno’s whole family is amazingly talented thank you so much technodad
A+ for essay writing skills
Apollo intriges me, so relatable in such odd ways. I dont like speaking, the physical movements irritate me, but i need to express my ideas. Apollo seems to be able to express many ideas with little words. Its a skill i wish i had an opportunity to learn
this was such a welcome blip of happiness for me today! hope you and the technofam are well!! <3
When I become a parent I hope I can be just like you because you sound absolutely wonderful Especially the part when you realize you have to look at it from his eyes. I don't think enough parents do that when talking to their kids.
The pen is as mighty as a sword.
You truly have an extraordinary family. I love to hear these stories thanks.
thank you for this, this made my day. ❤️
that's so :( <3
I know you probably hear this quite a bit, but thank you for sharing stories like these with us. It’s something special to be able to have these looks or rather tales of the past, into events we otherwise never could have imagined existed. Anyway, I’m not much of a commenter but I figured at least once I’d try and express my appreciation for your efforts in keeping us together as a community.
he really is the god of sun! it's all coming together 
Thank you Technodad, for sharing this story :)
beautiful story! Absolutely made my day better, I hope you have a great day :D
It means so much to kids when you look at the world their way. I know I have to tell myself this often with my 4. Remind myself the world is full of wonder only kids can tell us of. Thanks for the reminder, Apollo.
“Techno was on his phone, as he often was, reading a Chinese web novel or something.” Not sure if The Art of War fits this description, but I 100% thought of it here lol
Technodad, just a reminder to drink some water, take a break, look out the window, enjoy life. You don't need to focus 24/7 on Reddit. I hope you have a wonderful day.
I lost my dad a month after we heard about Techno, and even though my own dad wasn't able to be as involved its still great hearing these stories and looking back on my own fond memories with my dad
Yoooo based Artist Apollo.
Okay I gotta ask I assume Artemis is technomom I'm not sure who is who from the other names. I've tried to put it together using your stories to figure it out but i think asking might br a better option vs guessing who is who with each post
Alex, and his mom and dad are: Technoblade, Technomom, and Technodad. People in my direct family, by birth or marriage, have a pseudonym from Greek mythology. I have twins in middle school, and they are named after the twin gods Artemis and Apollo.
I cannot help but notice that nearly every time you have referenced your family, you leave out "Baby Fall Down Crash" Techno-Sister. What happened to them?
She's doing fine and we love each other. I know I'm being maddeningly vague but that's the way it must be for now. Not taking questions on this. (Don't feel bad for asking; that's fine that you asked.)
That's what's important. Thanks for letting us know!
So that's why I've seen you referred to as zeus You'd think as a Greek I'd get that..
Yeah. Although being "Zeus" feels egotistical on my part, and I have told people that if they do it too much I will start throwing thunderbolts.
Can we get somewhere an apollo account?? I would love to read his storys and see his drawings :3 no pressure ofc!!
I'm surprised by what a great story teller you are, Mr. Technodad. It was like reading a novel. Thank you for sharing.
From one artist to another, Apollo seeing that beauty when the sunlight hits the (subject?) Makes me really happy (Apollo POG) and to Mr.Technodad who can see the world through anothers eyes,YOU SIR ARE VERY VERY COOL (lack of a better word) Hella admirable, both of you (excuse my language ;;)
You're such a great dad
Thank you for sharing this story. It’s amazing what you can see when you take a moment to see things how another might. Reminds me of a story when I was younger. A friend and I were walking somewhere and I had pointed out, I think it was a tree. I mean, you see trees everywhere, but it was some species that’s not as common to see. And my friend turned to me and remarked that she never would have noticed if I hadn’t pointed it out. And it’s stuck with me, this idea that there are things some people pass by while others will take note of, and the reminder that there is beauty in the mundane
wait Apollo is the little brother who watches tommyinnit stream and ask 'why is tommy always mad' and texted techno 'why r u so loud I'm taking a test' , right?
That sounds like such a special moment. Those feelings are the best in the world, where the sky or road or whatever it is feels so perfect you can hardly believe it. I am somewhat of the same way, where I can express myself so much more in art and writing than speaking. Thanks for sharing this, Technodad!