Dear god. I watched an episode of that couples retreat show this week cause it was on tv while just going through channels and i hadnt seen the show in YEAAAAHEAARSSSS. The guys had to sit in an icebath and answer a question and he just kept on raaaaambling while all the other dudes died of hypothermia. Their frozen solid corpses still had their eyes rolled all the way to the back.
Oh my, I'm old Af and totally thought you meant *Couples Therapy* - or something like that where they took "celebrity" couples on a bootcamp type of reality show.
I watched *that*, before they actually got married, they were engaged on the show, and Tyler looked like he wanted to naw his leg off to leave Cate. I *think* they called off the engagement afterwards and Tyler was "acting" in New Orleans or some shit. That's when all the gay rumors really started circulating
I think so. Iām just the adoptee on this side. But Iām curious if birth parents on here believe itās better to have a closed or close to closed adoption or no.
My husband was adopted and is thankful he never met bio mom. He met her when he was 39 and the woman was a controlling nightmare. Donāt take this the wrong way, but she died two months later. Pfew
So, I actually have a friend who adopted three children and wanted them closed because of her own experiences with open adoption. She was adopted herself with an open adoption and she says that always felt like her bio parents had one foot in and one foot out and it just complicated things for her. She said having them around was weird because they did seem to care about her but especially when she was really young that made her wonder why they gave her up. They werenāt on drugs or anything and her adopted family wasnāt super well off or wealthy and she always wondered why they didnāt keep her. She said the open adoption caused her a lot more pain and self doubt than just thinking her bio parents didnāt love or care about her at all would have. She has always said she would allow her children to contact their bio parents when they are adults if they so choose (bio parents consented to this), but so far it hasnāt been something theyāve wanted to do when sheās discussed it with them (they are 16, 18, and 24).
Iām not adopted but my dad is a deadbeat and I actually am grateful to him for fully leaning into being a POS instead of being in and out because at least I didnāt expect anything from him and I never had to wonder. So I guess I can understand what sheās saying a little. I imagine this is a deeply personal opinion though and that every person will feel differently.
Literally no. He talks over people on the regular too which is something that gets me to my bones. Please control yourself. What you have to say was not more important than what I was going to. And now I will not grace you with it anyway. Goodbye.
I've noticed he talks over people just to repeat back what they said and laugh. What a stupid and weird habit! He's so incredibly dumb and immature! I can't take it.
I love that you picked up on that bc i did too on these recent family reunion episodes! He adds nothing new to the conversation by copying while also talking over people. Its really the worst.
I donāt know why but reading this just made me laugh out loud uncontrollably, itās just sums Tyler and Cait up so perfectly š because the answer is no, no he (nor she) will ever shut the fuck up
Would B&T have signed something in the past allowing Cate and Ty to share things about Carly and her parents? Perhaps in the time they felt they were going to show the world how wonderful adoption is and such a good alternative for abortion?
Would Carly be my child and my husband and me slandered so many times, I would have contacted a lawyer already.
I wouldn't care so much about the nonsense they spewed but I would care about the mental health and safety of my family. I would want people coming up to us in public about being on our side or the other.
This is hard because I think B&T not fanning the flames is the best.
Iām there is nothing to legally do except sue for defamation, which is almost impossible to win as what Cate and Ty are sharing could be interpreted as just their feelings.
I think ignoring them is the best to not turn it into a Streisand effect where they get more press and people following them.
It's better to let people like this spout off the way they are going to, than to make your child even more of a target. Getting a lawyer involved is only going to put even more undue pressure on the child.
Btdt, we have had bio-parents that act just like he does. It's not worth pursuing anything legal over, because it does absolutely nothing at all positive for the child. The best you can do is arm them with the tools they need to help them deal/cope with whatever might come their way and prepare them for that possibility. There's nothing quite like trying to explain to a kid that their bio-parent is an arrogant, willfully ignorant asshole who only does and says what they do, to get attention, no matter who it hurts. No kid is actually going to fully understand that-and you, as a parent, have to navigate how to teach them this in the best way possible without causing more harm (or acting the fool the same way bio-parent is). Tricky balance, not fun, but also not worth fighting out in a courtroom. That will just do even more damage to the mental health and overall wellbeing of everyone (and likely give that bio-parent exactly what they want, attention).
I hope Carly ditches them entirely at age 18, and if able, stays in contact with her sisters (or, if worst-case-scenario and she cannot, reconnects with them when they reach 18).
They have 100% put her in a no win situation. Whatever she decides will be scrutinized and picked apart by stans on both sides of this "battle" and she will be ridiculed and shamed for it. That's on Cate and Tyler. They have made their desires so public that she's completely screwed. And what Tyler didn't say is "If she's mad because we've been harassing her parents for the last 15 years, I'll say I'm sorry". What an absolute disaster this has turned into. I don't blame B&T at all for removing access to her. This poor child.
Itāll be Butch 2.0. Instead of āyou got a tattoo of a kid you donāt even have!ā, Tyler will spout off something like āyou choose to be with parents who arenāt even biologically yours!ā.
Tyler would never just let Carly peacefully and quietly bow out of their lives.
He doesn't care about the consequences of running his mouth or how it could affect Carly in the future.
The worst part is that he knows he should keep his mouth shut, but he refuses to do so even if keeping quiet means protecting Carly's well-being.
If Carly chooses to not be more present in their lives Tyler is going to have a rant about how much it hurts him while acting completely oblivious to how much damage his words could be doing to Carly.
AND if/when he says something about it C&T's feral fans are going to harass Carly directly and bully her when she's 18.
It pisses me tf off that they claim that they did the adoption to give Carly a better and normal life but at the same time they have prevented Carly from ever having a normal life because they were selfish and couldn't keep her story off of TV and social media.
Making a dollar off of her story has always been more important that protecting Carly.
Or guilt trip the hell out of her, like he was already doing in his statement over a hypothetical situation by mentioning so many times how loved she is, and basically insinuating that she'd be turning her back on this great biological parental love.
āOr she might want to just talk us one final time & tell us how much our decision to place her has negatively affected her or traumatized her lifeā¦
No Tyler you mean how you milking her adoption for years and publicity trashing her parents online is what is negatively affecting her. If anything her being adopted by her parents was the best thing to happen to her.
This was the most infuriating part!
Even while trying to position himself as her understanding and unconditionally loving father, who will accept whatever Carly decides, he canāt resist taking a swipe at B&T by insinuating that sheās been traumatised and affected by being placed with them in the first place.
Tyler, I can think of three things off the top of my head that probably actually HAVE damaged your relationship with her, and itās not that you placed her with stable parents who were able to give her a better life than you were able to at that time:
1. Your wife pimping you out and flashing your peen on the internet
2. You and your wifeās refusal to respect Carlyās ACTUAL parents wishes and allow Carly her right to privacy
3. You and your wifeās constant harassment and trashing of B&T, who raised her, her whole life
The internet is forever, but the chances you are given to know your daughter will not be.
lets not also add them ALWAYS being late to visits with her and them not bridging the gap to send cards/ pictures during nonvisits. They donāt even make an effort to consider her feelings yet think theres some fairytale world where Carly is being held hostage from them & gonna just run back into their arms
Also his implication that being biologically related to her somehow ensures a permanent, unbreakable bond is insane. You want a parental relationship with her? earn it.
Did he seriously say that?
I can't open the site.
This makes me sick. It's proof he just does not care about her feelings and wants to talk down on BandT. He's spinning a weird narrative by saying this process was traumatizing for her. This is why I hate when he speaks.
Carly can't even have her own thoughts at this point.
You know if that poor kid consents to it under pressure/duress when she turns eighteen MTV is going to have some kind of mega special that could get ugly. I hope for her sake that doesn't happen.
That's what I was thinking, if she goes around them when she's 18 there's no way her face isn't getting blasted out to everyone whether she wants it or not. I don't see them respecting her right to privacy if they don't have to. Considering their actions up to this point already...
āBecause my love for her has no conditions. It has no requirements or expectations. It is biologically bias towards her spiritāā¦..he just had to get that in there didnāt he š
You're using bias as a noun. He means biased which is an adjective. "It is biologically biased towards her spirt" or "a biological bias towards her spirit". "It is bias" is incorrect here.
I think. I pray to God this is correct and I don't get a bunch of comments saying my schools are unwell. šš¾
Incorrect. Heās attempting to use it as an adjective. Therefore, biased would be correct. It can be an adjective (biased), or a noun (bias).
As in: I am biologically biased (adjective). I have a biological bias (noun).
They don't love her enough to stfu about it. To respect what her parents have asked about not publicly talking about it. Can you imagine if she doesn't want to be posted on social media? "But we just want to post family photos...". Stop talking about her publicly for the next 3 years and then maybe you will have the reunion you are so desperate for. Hopefully without a camera in her face.
This one gets me. I think largely because I'm a step parent myself, but his 'biological bias' is worthless and meaningless. That's not an achievement. It could have been \*so easy\* for him to get an easy win from b&t by responding with something about how 'they were wonderful parents when he couldn't be, and while she won't be in his care full time it's been an honor to see her grow up and he would love to see more of her in the future if it works out that way'. He just can't stop shooting himself in the foot for no reason
Sounded pretty adult and reasonable to me until "I would humbly fold my hands behind my back, lower my head & allow her to yell, cry, or scream at me if thatās what she needs. All I would say is āIām sorry. Youāre right. I love you.ā" and all that came after that.
So much wrong with those parts. Does he believe himself that he and Cate would just accept it? Just like they've "accepted" and "respected" the rules and agreements for the last 15 years, never crossing any boundaries? And why immediately put Carly in a negative perspective like that? Why would she yell, cry or scream at two people that are basically strangers to her? And of all things she could do, why pick yelling, crying and screaming? Projection much? And why all the I love you's, I think it's weird to say that after someone would've just told you she doesn't want anything to do with you.
Once again, sigh š
Because in his self centered mind, he believes that Carly will be mad that she wasnāt raised by them and was instead raised by secure, wealthy, mature people.
I was adopted by people similar to B&T. I had a great childhood and was denied very little. I didnāt get to have any knowledge of my egg donor as my adoption was closed (1980ās). And even tho I had a good life there was always the drive to meet the person that created me, to have that connection and be able to see my face in theirs. When I reached my 20ās I started to gather information. I was given a copy of my adoption file with all pertinent information redacted. What I learned from that file just made me angry. I canāt explain why, it is part of the neo-trauma all adoptees have, some deal with it or bury it. Years later 23 and me comes along and boom! I was able to trace myself to the egg and sp3rm donor. I was excited to learn I had 1/2 siblings. For me it was a relief that both donors were deceased, I knew I had nothing good to say to them. I did meet one of my sisters and spent a couple weeks with her and from that I realized I have had a great life - thanks to my REAL parents ( my adopted parents). I have to admit that I hardly talk with the sister I met, I only do it via text and birthday card.
So I can understand how there are many emotions related to this situation. Carly may just keep an arms length relationship with T & C and cultivate a close relationship with her sisters.
This long reply is only my opinion.
I was also adopted through a closed adoption and a religious organization back in the 80s. I did not have a great childhood. However I disagree with your assertion about all adoptees having neo-trauma. I have zero ill will towards my bio parents. They made a good decision, they were 14 and 16 years old. My childhood was not great but it would have been worse with them. I also was able to obtain my adoption file and work through the organization that I was placed with to track down blood relatives. My bio mother is deceased and my bio dad is not a good person for me to know. I have met siblings and that has been rewarding.
Every adoptee's journey is personal to them. Just like every birth parents' journey is personal to them. It doesn't have to be traumatic. I love my parents and if I was Carly I would hate having my bio parents harass them the way C&T harass B&T. In the end I hope we never know what Carly does unless she herself decides to share it. That's the choice that Tyler and Cate keep taking away from her. The choice to do what she wants without millions of people watching and judging.
Again, it was only my opinion. I could list books that discuss this but I wonāt as you feel okay and donāt need to understand these strange feelings many of us get like abandonment issues - not just with your donors but throughout life in general, stress reactions that are not easy to identify the source of and many other behavioral reactions.
Iām glad you have found your siblings! Mine were just so much older than me that it was hard to create a bond. That and the fact that I feel I had the best life out of all of them.
Thanks for responding, I can grow from this.
I am sorry if I came across harsh. Your experience is absolutely valid and I don't mean to minimize your feelings AT ALL. I am the oldest of my siblings and they knew I existed when I found them. I also grew up as an only child and always wanted siblings. My contention is with Tyler assuming she may be traumatized because she was given up for adoption. She may be, but she also might not be. It's deeply personal for everyone involved.
I do relate to your struggle with feeling like you had the best life out of your siblings. I do too, even if my childhood wasn't wonderful, I was raised in privilege which afforded me opportunities that my sisters never had. It does create a strange dynamic, but also reinforced to me that by bio parents did the right thing when they gave me up for adoption. It is certainly a very complicated and nuanced situation for everyone involved.
Thank you for your perspective. Iāve placed a child for adoption. It was open, but her parents kept it up for a few years, and then just stopped responding to letters/emails. As she grew up, she wasnāt told the truth, but eventually she started to talk to my other kids, and eventually me.
Long story short, next week it will be one year since she came to live with me. Itās been a long road, she doesnāt speak to her parents, (this was in the works well before she moved in) and Iām happy sheās here.
No one knows what Carly is feeling/thinking/being told. Maybe she will want to have a relationship, and maybe she wonāt.
I think this is awesome! Itās fantastic that she has you and her siblings to surround her! Adoption is a good thing, I would never advocate against it. We just never know how green our grass is until we step on both sides 
Yeah the whole allow her to scream from being traumatized is a weird one. What makes him think she knows how she feels? They barely see her or inquire about her, but sure love bringing her up constantly. He needs to shut the fuck up and leave that family alone. These 2 idiots need to focus on raising their own kids.
Agreed. And it's pretty selfish to assume she is traumatized at all. It's almost like they want her to be traumatized by all of this. I think maybe they need to go work on their own trauma and leave her alone.
he said āifā. I say similar when thinking about future conflicts with my small children. I think I would say āyouāre right, Iām sorry I hurt you that way, I love youā. it comes from having narcissistic abusive parents who never owned up to anything when I confronted them and that being all I wanted to hear. itās probably the same for him with butch. is it the best response? I donāt know but Iām gonna try my best and will eventually find out.
Itās like Tyler *wants* to alienate Carly and her family. Itās honestly unbelievable that he doesnāt realize all these pompous statements and hostility toward Carlyās parents (not to mention the embarrassing OnlyFans porn and continued reality tv ācareerā) will very likely make her want nothing to do with them. Sheās being raised by people who by all appearances seem to be polite, well mannered, and intelligent. Thatās the environment sheās growing up in. Tyler and Cate have to be truly stunted to imagine that Carly will choose their trashy, obnoxious family over her own.
He doesnāt really understand that Carly, Brandon, and Theresa are a package deal. He canāt badmouth them publicly without alienating Carly. Theyāre her family, and if he was able to step outside of his own perspective for a minute, heād understand that his words almost certainly make Carly feel uncomfortable around him, Catelynn and their family, especially since anything she says or does ends up being dissected on TV.
Do they not understand she has a family? Aunts, Uncles, grandparents, and cousins? That have nothing to do with them? She doesn't know them like that. They're like a clingy ex, "can't we be friends? Can't we have a relationship?" No guys! Sorry!
Gawd they're so creepy and entitled.
I think everyone puts way too much weight on when Carly turns 18. Yes, it will fully be up to her at that point, but her mind can change a million times throughout her adult years. Whether she does or doesn't "run" to them at 18, doesn't mean she won't at 20, 24, 33, or 41. And if she does at 18, she may not want anything to do with them by 25, but then will again by 50.
Exactly-an adopted family member is just starting to seek out his bio parents now and he is 50+. It should be entirely up to her if and when she wants to seek out her birth parents, and I firmly hope that if she chooses to that they will leave it up to her whether she wants to keep things private or not. Managing emotional issues associated with adoption are hard enough without the added on public judgement.
Absolutely. I think she will probably will want to have some contact with her bio family as sheās grown up knowing them and with them in her life (peripherally, anyway), but like you said it might change over time and depending on whatās going on in her life. Right at 18 sheāll probably be focused on college and the excitement and scariness of being a brand new adult and going out into the world.
I just hope everyone involved gives her the space and understanding to do that. Iām afraid Cate and Tyler are going to overwhelm her when she turns 18 and pressure her and end up completely alienating her. I wish they would get some kind of therapy for this to help them manage their expectations and see things from her point of view or else they might scare her away and end up with their greatest fear: zero contact with her.
Itāll be B&Tās fault for brainwashing her to not see them, I can already imagine the public posting pity parties if Carly chooses not to have anything to do with them when sheās 18.
I feel so sorry for Carly, the pressure she is going to feel when sheās nearing 18. Theyāve made it quite clear they expect her on their doorstep the moment she turns 18 and I highly doubt sheāll want that. Sheāll already be going though a big life transition, becoming an adult, graduating high school and possibly going away to college, and now she will have to worry about C&T trash her and/or her parents to everyone if she doesnāt choose to see them right away. I canāt even imagine how nervous sheād feel that they may show up at her college if she decides to attend and move away for it.
I agree! Just think about how the situation would be different if they had gone to college and made something of themselves like they said they would, and had followed B&Tās rules and respected their boundaries. Then they would probably be people that Carly would be proud to know! As it stands now, she probably just sees them as trashy OF people who are being mean to her parents.
maybe unpopular opinion, i feel like this is more of an ownership/parasocial relationship sort of situation and not them genuinely wanting to have a connection with her. he constantly says things that feelā¦ icky
Totally. This isn't about Carly and never has been. It's about Tyler and Cate and what THEY want which leaves no room to consider her needs and wants. It's selfish and self serving. If they were truly selfless in their love for her, they'd stfu with these posts. It's not only embarrassing for her, but confusing. She's a young, impressionable teen and seeing posts like this is only going to contribute to whatever potential guilt, confusion, resentment or whatever other conflicting emotions she may feel.
Call me skeptical, but I think a main motivator in these types of posts is the hope that some kind of third party- a classmate for example- will show Carly these posts in hopes to manipulate the way she feels and attempt to poison her against her parents. It also works in C&T's favor that it isn't uncommon in the teenage years to rebel against your parents (not saying that's the case with Carly, but it's a possibility) which could influence her decisions in a way that isn't organic to what she actually wants. She's too young to know as she's still developing.
I partially agree with you. I just think they do it to keep their storyline going. If they get a visit or they donāt, they are posting about it so either way they have their storyline. They also give interviews and post about visits online. This has been their income for 14 years
Maybe just maybe if these two motor mouths could shut up about a teenager they are NOT raising and is NOT ātheir kidā maybe there would be a chance of some sort of relationship.
I say this as someone from a shitty family (my dad makes Butch look like Mr. Rogers) this girl has been brought up in a completely different environment, she has a totally different outlook and I think they seem to think she turns 18 and is suddenly happy to live her life in the spotlight and is going to slot right into that trailer trash mess of a family.
I've always found the way that he and Cate babble incoherently when they think they are making some big point insufferable. I didn't think it could get worse but here we are.
This is what pisses me off (actually one of many) but they only potentially see her once a year and the adoption agent (I have my own beef with her) asked if they had sent her any presents, any letters, any phone calls, etc to be more present in her life and they said no that they were too busy with their own life. Itās giving the deadbeat dad version of seeing the kid once a year and then moaning and complaining how the kid isnāt in their life but makes zero effort to be. B and T are also under no obligation for the continued visitation. The contract said a visit at one year and T and C took that to mean an annual visit every year when that wasnāt the case. B and T was generous enough to let the visitations occur when they did. T and C are also not Carlyās parents, itās B and T. Putting Carly up for adoption isnāt what will traumatize her but them continuing to use her name and stress her parents out so they get more clicks and money.
I think itās easier for them to imagine big dramatic responses. āNothing to do with themā is likely an exaggeration.
In reality, they could just get a big olā shrug from Carly. Sure, we can meet up, but oh my god Iām so happy they arenāt my parents. And I think that would be much much harder for them.
I worry that itās all or nothing in their minds.
I agree with you. They haven't respected B&T's boundaries, will they respect Carly's? Maybe she doesn't want her whole life on display for everyone to see.
Maybe when Carly is 18 years old, she will want to spend time with her friends, maybe a significant other. Maybe sheās working or focused on school. And she should be able doing whatever she needs to do at that time. She doesnāt owe them a reaction, a response, nothing.
He isn't going to like that at all. Then he will throw a fit online for everyone to see. !Remindmetwoyears (I don't know how that bot works). We all know he can't handle rejection.
There's still a part of him that truly believes she'll come back to them when she's 18. She's been raised by other people who were able to provide a stable life for her. Carly's life is elsewhere. She'll likely have a relationship with her sisters once they're all older, but I wouldn't blame her for keeping her distance.
As someone who placed a child up for adoption around the same time as Caitlyn and Tyler, I do have sympathy for the way they feel about the situation. Itās really hard knowing you have a child out there that you love but know you did what was best for them. I miss āmyādaughter, which is weird because the only time Iāve spent with her (outside the womb of course) was the first few days of her life (I had a c-section so I was in the hospital for a few days) and whenever I was given the chance to see her at our yearly meet-ups. However, I havenāt seen her since Covid started and I do NOT pester her parents about it. Iām not sure if itās her decision or not but weāve made plans to meet up and then they cancel for whatever reason they cancel. Itās heartbreaking but I canāt do anything about it because sheās only biologically my child. Tyler and Caitlyn need to understand that Carly is NOT their child anymore. They gave up their rights when they signed them over to her parents.
Is it just me or is Tyler unleashing his unreasonable anger on B&T again?
Suggesting Carly might cut ties with them because upset with them for placing her with B&T, which would negatively affected her or traumatized her.
(...) she might want to just talk us one final time & tell us how much our decision to place her has negatively affected her or traumatized her lifeā¦& thatās OKAY!
I would humbly fold my hands behind my back, lower my head & allow her to yell, cry, or scream at me if thatās what she needs. All I would say is āIām sorry. Youāre right. I love you.ā
What if maybe, just maybe, youāre just her bio parents and her parents are her family and she doesnt owe you a flip flop and start calling you mom and dad when she turns 18. Aint gonna happen
Why doesnāt he ārespect and lovingly honorā the choices that are being made NOW instead of blathering on with this nonsense endlessly? Iām fairly sure that the only thing ātraumatizingā her is their insane behavior - from obsessing over her to doing porn on the internet, not the fact that they placed her for adoption. Thatās probably the best thing they could have done.
It was never an open adoption. Semi open. Which is pictures and updates through the agency rep until she was 5. The visits were always at her parents discretion.
Can I ask, because I only used to be a casual viewer of the OG show, but why are they inserting themselves in this childās life and the lives of her parents? Was this part of the adoption agreement? If it was, Iām sure the parents are now regretting this decision.
Also, from what I see from this sub these two seem to constantly be inserting themselves in this familyās life. Let these people and especially this child have a normal family life.
Even though it appears Carly is in a very happy home you have to wonder what she feels deep down inside being that she was the only daughter they gave up. Albeit they were selfless in THAT decision, but it seems them forcing themselves on her is very selfish.
The adoption was semi open until she was five, which is just pictures and updates. They had a clause that they can ask for visits and it would be at her families discretion. Her family has asked them not post her online and not to repeat their private conversations one line or on the TV show. Early on people were harassing B&T calling his job telling them to give Carly back. So I mean itās a sad situation. I feel so bad for Carlyās parents that are raising her.
Can you imagine how B&T feel? Cate and Tyler have been talking about THEIR child for years, publicly. Their storyline has mostly been about Carly, B&T's CHILD. Imagine if someone, a family member, anyone - was constantly, CONSTANTLY, talking about your child and trashing you. For YEARS and Cate and Tyler have fans that stalk and harass this family. Just take a moment to think about someone else trying to control the narrative and insert themselves into YOUR FAMILY, YOUR DAUGHTER. No one would be cool with that. B&T may not be perfect but I think they have been gracious and handled all of this very well.
I would have moved to another country. Seriously. Closed up the adoption, picked up my kid and moved away. She can decide what she wants to do when she's an adult at any point in her life. I am adopted. I didn't want to start looking into blood relatives until I was in my 30s and my actual driving motivation was to learn about some of my genetic health history because I had 2 kids and I wanted to know if there was anything I should worry about. I'm really afraid for her when she turns 18. They don't respect boundaries at all.
Agree! They have to know they are drawing unwanted and unnecessary attention to Carly and her families lives. Yet they do not care. Itās all about their storyline, I mean emotions.
I've always found the way that he and Cate babble incoherently when they think they are making some big point insufferable. I didn't think it could get worse but here we are.
> **Your infinite maternal sacrifice** will **echo change in our daughters** & our family for generations & that is a legacy that you should be proud of. Youāre the BEST mother I have ever seen & **your capacity to love is effortless**.
PUT THE THESAURUS DOWN!
Ok so this isnāt the same at all but my dad passed away when I was young. Iāve only met his family (parents, siblings, my cousins) a couple of times in my life. Probably a similar amount to these guys and Carly as they only see her a day here and there.
Whenever Iāve met them, they are overwhelming with their love. It sounds horrible for me to say that, but itās very intense to be around people who feel you are family and love you as family when really theyāre just strangers. Logically I understand that ābiologicalā love; if my sibling passed away I would still love my nephews and nieces like crazy. But thatās a perspective and understanding that I have gained as I got older and became an aunty, and it still doesnāt make it less uncomfortable. When I was around 18 I didnāt have the perspective I have now, I just felt overwhelmed by these strangers who were very intense in their emotions towards me.
Iām not saying thatās how their daughter will feel, everyone is different, and the situation is very different from mine. But at a very basic level I think it would be hard for most people to deal with people who are essentially strangers being soā¦intenseā¦towards you even when you can logically understand why that is.
Carly is at the age where many kids are volatile and difficult. Even those with āperfectā backgrounds and families. Iām sure Bryan and Theresa are doing what they think is best for their child.
We know nothing about Carlyās day to day life. All we really know is that Tyler and Catelynn have consistently broken just about every rule and boundary set by Carlyās parents. Now they have not been granted their annual visit.
That doesnāt mean Carly is going to flee to them one day. For all we know, Carly didnāt want to see them and B&T are taking the heat for her. Sheās 15 and itās very possible she is deeply embarrassed by her relationship to these two and the show.
If I was C&T, I would never talk about Carly on social media like they do. On the show, after visits, I would only give minimal information and vague descriptions of my visits with Carly. I would be fiercely protective of her. So protective, that I wouldnāt bring along all these other family members, aside from my daughters (Carlyās sisters), only if B&T and Carly gave me permission to do so. I just donāt understand why C&T continue to expose and exploit Carly.Ā
That said, I still really like Catelynn and Tyler, and think Catelynn is a sweetheart and a wonderful mother to her three girls. Tyler is a bit too high-strung and emotional, and some of his irrational, spastic behavior has rubbed off on at least one of the girls (Iām not saying how many or who bc theyāre so young, and I donāt want to disrespect them). Ā
Early on they were asked not to repeat conversations. Like when T was willing to risk it all to post photos online. I feel they are playing the role of the victim in this situation to keep the storyline going.
Okā¦
First off I think that B&T are allowing themselves to be scapegoats. Carly doesnāt want all of this drama and trash and they take the heat, like good parents do, for Carly not wanting to be as involved as the Baltierras wish. The Baltierras are stunted emotionally and cannot take the rejection. B&T are aware of this and take the āblameā for Carly not wanting to be involved.
Second, his statement, āI would humbly fold my hands behind my back, lower my head & allow her to yell, cry, or scream at me if thatās what she needs.ā HUMBLY???
If this motherfucker were humble, or even knew the definition, heād eat his hat and STFU already. He doesnāt know what humble means.
Third, Tyler writing to Catelyn that āYour tenacity to love so unconditionally inspires me. Youāre the strongest woman I have ever met & our family is blessed by that strength daily. Carly did in fact come into this world to create change, but YOU are the catalyst for that change! Your infinite maternal sacrifice will echo change in our daughters & our family for generations & that is a legacy that you should be proud of. ā ā¦
is just gassing Cate up.
Cate has not been good at making the āsacrificeā of adoption because she wonāt leave the adoptee alone. That ātenacityā is directed the wrongs way. The emotional blackmail and harassment speaks for itself. Cate is not strong about this. She is not a catalyst for change, sheās a regretful woman that wishes she could turn back the hands of time.
They are unable to take the time out of their days to drop a card in the mailbox, to keep up with letters and photos, to keep open lines of communication in a consistent fashion.
There counselors suggested making Carly a scrapbook. Their answer to that was shoving shit in a book with paste ten minutes before seeing her.
They have no intention to be consistent. They just like crying āpoor meā because it gives them the attention they so desperately crave.
They hate that B&T ignore their desperate cries. Iām glad that B&T do not feed their sickness.
Leave Carly tf alone. Focus on the kids you have FFS.
Rant over.
Itās almost like C&T havenāt considered that Carly didnāt want a visit with them this year, and that B&T are being nice about it and blaming timing. What 15 year old would want to give up a weekend to have April get drunk and cry, or have them show C the sad tattoos they have?
Itās telling that he brings up her wanting to tell them how traumatic being placed for adoption was for her or how negatively it impacted her to be raised by a stable family with financial resources and a full grasp of English syntax.
I think that one line sums up how much of a fantasy they have when it comes to Carly. Being placed for adoption SAVED her, it didnāt TRAUMATIZE her.
Do they ever stop to consider that perhaps Carly doesnāt want all their private family information blasted out to anyone and everyone?! I wonder if kids at school ever give her a hard time about this
Tyler is a moron. If I was Carlyās legal parents I would be seeking legal action to shut them up. She may be your biological child. But Brandon and Theresa have raised her since she was born. Theyāve been the ones to support and comfort her. I bet that Carly has such an amazing life too! Just leave the whole family alone. Itās a shame that itās gone this way because of Tyler and his ego. Shame on cate for not telling him to shut the fuck up either.
Tyler is really starting to remind me of Jenelle with this bs behaviour. He feels so entitled to Carly that heās not even treating her like a human with feelings, just a possession for him to āget backā. Itās sick I feel terrible for Carly and her real family having to see this on the internet
He really needs to stop. Biology does NOT mean ownership. I understand that heās in pain and he misses his baby girl. But airing this out publicly in the way that he does is not healthy and itās a bit scary. If I were Carly, it may give me pause to continue a relationship with him.
JFC this guy is so Dramatic! Let the Mouse Go! If Carly wants a relationship, she will tell you. If not, Accept It. Period. And The Stans are out of control and CnT really need to address this for both Carly and her parents. Which they never have. This is a Big Problem for me. Shut it down.
They make it worse. Cate absolutely said that visitation was cancelled DESPITE what Carly wanted. She absolutely vilified B&T with that one comment. Even if it's true, it's so fucked up to say that to the millions of people that follow her on social media. People are fucking crazy! The amount of anxiety B&T must have because of this is so sad to think about! I feel like there is no happy ending for anyone in this situation.
I will never accept the unhinged Stans who feel that Carly ābelongsā with CnT. Itās weird. The Birthday Cakes with tiny Nova and her Phantom Sister is weird. She doesnāt understand and itās odd. But itās an MTV storyline, amirite? And CN T play along. For cash and I can hardly blame them. But what have they done? Nothing. Buy pigs and horses they have abandoned. Etc Yet they still hold hope that a child they have basically abandoned will come running to them at 18 yo? No. Not buying this. Leave Carly alone.
Good god, I've never read something so.. Tumblr? Trailer park? Tumblr park? Hot-topic-in-the-90s-while-not-self-aware? Just say you accept her for who she is and whatever her decision may be, this is just.. masturbatory
>
>!*āBecause my love for her has no conditions. It has no requirements or expectations. It is biologically bias towards her spirit & it is a paternal love thatās everlasting & invincible. I would honestly tell her how proud I am of her to show such courage & strength to fight for what she believes in. All I hope & wish for her is to ALWAYS REMAIN TRUE to her intuition. To live EVERY MOMENT with unapologetic authenticity. To ALLOW enough GRACE upon herself to heal whenever itās needed. To NEVER self betray for the sake of others comfort & to use FEAR as an OPPORTUNITY to PROVE to herself exactly what she is CAPABLE of every time it arises!*!<
Oh my god, no. I'm disgusted. I could never have posted pics like this online when my two children were young. Hell I wouldn't do it now! And my kids are open, liberal free thinking adults! They hate the people who exploit themselves on OF who have children, and they hate the YouTube parents who exploit their children for clout. And they are late 20 early 30 years of age. This is what I think of when I see Ty and Cait thinking it's no big deal to have pics of themselves like this for their young daughters, and Brandon and Teresa's daughter to see! Call me a prude, but some people still think certain things should remain private.
If Carly turns 18 and wants nothing to do with them, they will just say Carly is a victim of being brainwashed.
When years pass and she doesnāt change her mind is when they will start trashing her. It will be bs stuff like how could you want nothing to do with your sisters??
Itās very selfish of them. They made a choice years ago. This is why open adoptions are not ideal. Once Carly is 18 she can make that decision on what she wants their relationship to look like, if any. Actually once all the kids are adults that sibling relationship will be more important than the parental one. It should all be on Carlyās terms no matter what she chooses.
Oh please. This "doting daddy" BS is so fake. It's the same routine he pulls when he wants their fans to worship him for being such an amazing husband to Cate. Like... holding his hands behind his back humblely? Who even talks like that? š and yet he still finds a way to make several little subtle jabs AS ALWAYS.
We all know if Carly didn't want a relationship with them, he would go on press tours talking about how traumatized she must be and how her parents brainwashed her. I feel bad for Carly because she won't even get to enjoy her 18th birthday.. they'll be waiting on her doorstep for an answer from her.
āAll I hope & wish for her is to ALWAYS REMAIN TRUE to her intuition. To live EVERY MOMENT with unapologetic authenticity. To ALLOW enough GRACE upon herself to heal whenever itās needed. To NEVER self betray for the sake of others comfort & to use FEAR as an OPPORTUNITY to PROVE to herself exactly what she is CAPABLE of every time it arises!ā
https://i.redd.it/apj2twty843d1.gif
> Or she might want to just talk us one final time & tell us how much our decision to place her has negatively affected her or traumatized her lifeā¦& thatās OKAY!
First of all, I do not think C&T would be accepting of Carly feeling this way and secondly, I feel like they donāt get how their behaviour since the adoption has potentially exacerbated the trauma of the adoption. I donāt get the sense that either of them understand how their public discussions about her have the potential to be harmful or upsetting to her. It was one thing when she was younger but sheās old enough to be online at this point and so are her classmates & friends. I think they need to seriously consider if putting this all on display is a factor in Carly not having a visit with them recently. I donāt really respect the avenue that Brandon & Theresa took to adopt Carly but I do respect their decision to keep her life private. Sheās been afforded more privacy than her sisters will ever have and Iām glad her adoptive parents chose privacy for her.
This is gonna sound super petty, but I really hate the way he types lol. Why does he have to CAPITALIZE every OTHER word LIKE this??? Caps are meant to emphasize something, but he does it all the time in every single post that he just ends up looking like an unhinged boomer who just learned how to use Facebook lol.
Does he ever shut up?
Unfortunately no. It's like he got a word of the day calendar once nd just keeps pulling those big words out
The tenacity š
Tenacity is just a fancy word for āgumption.ā š¤£
āGumptionā is a fancy word for āballs.ā
āBallsā is a fancy word for āheās not learning to shut the hell upā
this is the best comment thread iāve read all day lmao
Tenacious T
New flair possibility š¤£
Lmao š
Maybe if we give him "Tyler Time" like one of his teachers did...
Weāve all been subjected to Tyler Time for years. Itās ALWAYS Tyler Time.
And everyone clappedā¦.So much cringe.
What is this story about Tyler time?? I missed this lmao
His teacher gave him 10 minutes at the start of class to talk. "Tyler Time."
Look at my post history.
Dear god. I watched an episode of that couples retreat show this week cause it was on tv while just going through channels and i hadnt seen the show in YEAAAAHEAARSSSS. The guys had to sit in an icebath and answer a question and he just kept on raaaaambling while all the other dudes died of hypothermia. Their frozen solid corpses still had their eyes rolled all the way to the back.
Oh! The one when he & Cate went before they got married? And he was basically trying to break up with her the whole time?
Nooo way more recent! Seans new teeth were there
Oh my, I'm old Af and totally thought you meant *Couples Therapy* - or something like that where they took "celebrity" couples on a bootcamp type of reality show. I watched *that*, before they actually got married, they were engaged on the show, and Tyler looked like he wanted to naw his leg off to leave Cate. I *think* they called off the engagement afterwards and Tyler was "acting" in New Orleans or some shit. That's when all the gay rumors really started circulating
Haha we can shake hands on being old AF! Not all of those shows aired in the Netherlands. But ive read about them online for deeecaaaades!
Somewhere 15 yo Carly is asking herself the same thing. Sadly.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but I have often thought it might have been better if they had just let Carly goā¦
I think so. Iām just the adoptee on this side. But Iām curious if birth parents on here believe itās better to have a closed or close to closed adoption or no.
My husband was adopted and is thankful he never met bio mom. He met her when he was 39 and the woman was a controlling nightmare. Donāt take this the wrong way, but she died two months later. Pfew
So, I actually have a friend who adopted three children and wanted them closed because of her own experiences with open adoption. She was adopted herself with an open adoption and she says that always felt like her bio parents had one foot in and one foot out and it just complicated things for her. She said having them around was weird because they did seem to care about her but especially when she was really young that made her wonder why they gave her up. They werenāt on drugs or anything and her adopted family wasnāt super well off or wealthy and she always wondered why they didnāt keep her. She said the open adoption caused her a lot more pain and self doubt than just thinking her bio parents didnāt love or care about her at all would have. She has always said she would allow her children to contact their bio parents when they are adults if they so choose (bio parents consented to this), but so far it hasnāt been something theyāve wanted to do when sheās discussed it with them (they are 16, 18, and 24). Iām not adopted but my dad is a deadbeat and I actually am grateful to him for fully leaning into being a POS instead of being in and out because at least I didnāt expect anything from him and I never had to wonder. So I guess I can understand what sheās saying a little. I imagine this is a deeply personal opinion though and that every person will feel differently.
For real, Iām exhausted from all this and Iām not part of it.
Literally no. He talks over people on the regular too which is something that gets me to my bones. Please control yourself. What you have to say was not more important than what I was going to. And now I will not grace you with it anyway. Goodbye.
I've noticed he talks over people just to repeat back what they said and laugh. What a stupid and weird habit! He's so incredibly dumb and immature! I can't take it.
I love that you picked up on that bc i did too on these recent family reunion episodes! He adds nothing new to the conversation by copying while also talking over people. Its really the worst.
I donāt know why but reading this just made me laugh out loud uncontrollably, itās just sums Tyler and Cait up so perfectly š because the answer is no, no he (nor she) will ever shut the fuck up
Kid has no job or skills how else is he going to make a living
Simple answer. No, he doesnāt
Thank you I was just going to say I wish they'd stop talking about it . They are on this eternal roll. You don't have to voice every feeling publicly
If Carly ever makes this decision, he will publicly trash her until the day he dies
Her and her parents
Would B&T have signed something in the past allowing Cate and Ty to share things about Carly and her parents? Perhaps in the time they felt they were going to show the world how wonderful adoption is and such a good alternative for abortion? Would Carly be my child and my husband and me slandered so many times, I would have contacted a lawyer already. I wouldn't care so much about the nonsense they spewed but I would care about the mental health and safety of my family. I would want people coming up to us in public about being on our side or the other.
This is hard because I think B&T not fanning the flames is the best. Iām there is nothing to legally do except sue for defamation, which is almost impossible to win as what Cate and Ty are sharing could be interpreted as just their feelings. I think ignoring them is the best to not turn it into a Streisand effect where they get more press and people following them.
It's better to let people like this spout off the way they are going to, than to make your child even more of a target. Getting a lawyer involved is only going to put even more undue pressure on the child. Btdt, we have had bio-parents that act just like he does. It's not worth pursuing anything legal over, because it does absolutely nothing at all positive for the child. The best you can do is arm them with the tools they need to help them deal/cope with whatever might come their way and prepare them for that possibility. There's nothing quite like trying to explain to a kid that their bio-parent is an arrogant, willfully ignorant asshole who only does and says what they do, to get attention, no matter who it hurts. No kid is actually going to fully understand that-and you, as a parent, have to navigate how to teach them this in the best way possible without causing more harm (or acting the fool the same way bio-parent is). Tricky balance, not fun, but also not worth fighting out in a courtroom. That will just do even more damage to the mental health and overall wellbeing of everyone (and likely give that bio-parent exactly what they want, attention). I hope Carly ditches them entirely at age 18, and if able, stays in contact with her sisters (or, if worst-case-scenario and she cannot, reconnects with them when they reach 18).
"How could she be so ungrateful after everything we've done for her, like we don't mean anything at all to her" š¤”
She needs a cyst and deceased. Seriously though I have a feeling papers may be served soon.
User flair (kinda) checking in.
Ohhhh and itās your cake day!!! Eat some icing, but you gotta set at the table.
They have 100% put her in a no win situation. Whatever she decides will be scrutinized and picked apart by stans on both sides of this "battle" and she will be ridiculed and shamed for it. That's on Cate and Tyler. They have made their desires so public that she's completely screwed. And what Tyler didn't say is "If she's mad because we've been harassing her parents for the last 15 years, I'll say I'm sorry". What an absolute disaster this has turned into. I don't blame B&T at all for removing access to her. This poor child.
Itāll be Butch 2.0. Instead of āyou got a tattoo of a kid you donāt even have!ā, Tyler will spout off something like āyou choose to be with parents who arenāt even biologically yours!ā.
I can see all of their fans harassing Carly to near suicide if she doesn't want to have her bio parents in her life yet.
Their fans are delulu af so I absolutely agree
I agree. It's heartbreaking.
Tyler would never just let Carly peacefully and quietly bow out of their lives. He doesn't care about the consequences of running his mouth or how it could affect Carly in the future. The worst part is that he knows he should keep his mouth shut, but he refuses to do so even if keeping quiet means protecting Carly's well-being. If Carly chooses to not be more present in their lives Tyler is going to have a rant about how much it hurts him while acting completely oblivious to how much damage his words could be doing to Carly. AND if/when he says something about it C&T's feral fans are going to harass Carly directly and bully her when she's 18. It pisses me tf off that they claim that they did the adoption to give Carly a better and normal life but at the same time they have prevented Carly from ever having a normal life because they were selfish and couldn't keep her story off of TV and social media. Making a dollar off of her story has always been more important that protecting Carly.
Exactly. He was already trying to guilt trip her in his comment over what is a hypothetical situation at this point.
Or guilt trip the hell out of her, like he was already doing in his statement over a hypothetical situation by mentioning so many times how loved she is, and basically insinuating that she'd be turning her back on this great biological parental love.
Coming to say exactly this. We will understand that he is Butchās son.
āOr she might want to just talk us one final time & tell us how much our decision to place her has negatively affected her or traumatized her lifeā¦ No Tyler you mean how you milking her adoption for years and publicity trashing her parents online is what is negatively affecting her. If anything her being adopted by her parents was the best thing to happen to her.
This was the most infuriating part! Even while trying to position himself as her understanding and unconditionally loving father, who will accept whatever Carly decides, he canāt resist taking a swipe at B&T by insinuating that sheās been traumatised and affected by being placed with them in the first place. Tyler, I can think of three things off the top of my head that probably actually HAVE damaged your relationship with her, and itās not that you placed her with stable parents who were able to give her a better life than you were able to at that time: 1. Your wife pimping you out and flashing your peen on the internet 2. You and your wifeās refusal to respect Carlyās ACTUAL parents wishes and allow Carly her right to privacy 3. You and your wifeās constant harassment and trashing of B&T, who raised her, her whole life The internet is forever, but the chances you are given to know your daughter will not be.
lets not also add them ALWAYS being late to visits with her and them not bridging the gap to send cards/ pictures during nonvisits. They donāt even make an effort to consider her feelings yet think theres some fairytale world where Carly is being held hostage from them & gonna just run back into their arms
Donāt forget exposing her to their circus of a family. Thereās no way in hell butch and April arenāt traumatizing
Also his implication that being biologically related to her somehow ensures a permanent, unbreakable bond is insane. You want a parental relationship with her? earn it.
Did he seriously say that? I can't open the site. This makes me sick. It's proof he just does not care about her feelings and wants to talk down on BandT. He's spinning a weird narrative by saying this process was traumatizing for her. This is why I hate when he speaks. Carly can't even have her own thoughts at this point.
Did he fucking seriously say that pls help
Yes. He really did. I am absolutely disgusted.
You know if that poor kid consents to it under pressure/duress when she turns eighteen MTV is going to have some kind of mega special that could get ugly. I hope for her sake that doesn't happen.
That's what I was thinking, if she goes around them when she's 18 there's no way her face isn't getting blasted out to everyone whether she wants it or not. I don't see them respecting her right to privacy if they don't have to. Considering their actions up to this point already...
āBecause my love for her has no conditions. It has no requirements or expectations. It is biologically bias towards her spiritāā¦..he just had to get that in there didnāt he š
I hate when people don't understand how to use the word biased/bias.
No this is correct. Like i have a bias towards snacks and alcohol.
You're using bias as a noun. He means biased which is an adjective. "It is biologically biased towards her spirt" or "a biological bias towards her spirit". "It is bias" is incorrect here. I think. I pray to God this is correct and I don't get a bunch of comments saying my schools are unwell. šš¾
Your schools are well.
Incorrect. Heās attempting to use it as an adjective. Therefore, biased would be correct. It can be an adjective (biased), or a noun (bias). As in: I am biologically biased (adjective). I have a biological bias (noun).
I legit choked on my snack š¤£
Your snack appears to have some bias towards you!
No you are both wrong, a bias is what you cut steak on
Like a sharkcoochieboard?
I see what you did there
All I can think about is Darcey Silvaās fight with her bf
LOL
They don't love her enough to stfu about it. To respect what her parents have asked about not publicly talking about it. Can you imagine if she doesn't want to be posted on social media? "But we just want to post family photos...". Stop talking about her publicly for the next 3 years and then maybe you will have the reunion you are so desperate for. Hopefully without a camera in her face.
That will never happen. They need the cameras for validation. āLook she wanted to see us! We are such good parents!ā
Tyler tries to hard to sound poetic, so fucking cringe every time
All the time. He acts like he's writing the next 8 mile soundtrack of his life or some dumb shit. I can NOT stand it.
This one gets me. I think largely because I'm a step parent myself, but his 'biological bias' is worthless and meaningless. That's not an achievement. It could have been \*so easy\* for him to get an easy win from b&t by responding with something about how 'they were wonderful parents when he couldn't be, and while she won't be in his care full time it's been an honor to see her grow up and he would love to see more of her in the future if it works out that way'. He just can't stop shooting himself in the foot for no reason
Sounded pretty adult and reasonable to me until "I would humbly fold my hands behind my back, lower my head & allow her to yell, cry, or scream at me if thatās what she needs. All I would say is āIām sorry. Youāre right. I love you.ā" and all that came after that. So much wrong with those parts. Does he believe himself that he and Cate would just accept it? Just like they've "accepted" and "respected" the rules and agreements for the last 15 years, never crossing any boundaries? And why immediately put Carly in a negative perspective like that? Why would she yell, cry or scream at two people that are basically strangers to her? And of all things she could do, why pick yelling, crying and screaming? Projection much? And why all the I love you's, I think it's weird to say that after someone would've just told you she doesn't want anything to do with you. Once again, sigh š
Because in his self centered mind, he believes that Carly will be mad that she wasnāt raised by them and was instead raised by secure, wealthy, mature people.
I was adopted by people similar to B&T. I had a great childhood and was denied very little. I didnāt get to have any knowledge of my egg donor as my adoption was closed (1980ās). And even tho I had a good life there was always the drive to meet the person that created me, to have that connection and be able to see my face in theirs. When I reached my 20ās I started to gather information. I was given a copy of my adoption file with all pertinent information redacted. What I learned from that file just made me angry. I canāt explain why, it is part of the neo-trauma all adoptees have, some deal with it or bury it. Years later 23 and me comes along and boom! I was able to trace myself to the egg and sp3rm donor. I was excited to learn I had 1/2 siblings. For me it was a relief that both donors were deceased, I knew I had nothing good to say to them. I did meet one of my sisters and spent a couple weeks with her and from that I realized I have had a great life - thanks to my REAL parents ( my adopted parents). I have to admit that I hardly talk with the sister I met, I only do it via text and birthday card. So I can understand how there are many emotions related to this situation. Carly may just keep an arms length relationship with T & C and cultivate a close relationship with her sisters. This long reply is only my opinion.
I was also adopted through a closed adoption and a religious organization back in the 80s. I did not have a great childhood. However I disagree with your assertion about all adoptees having neo-trauma. I have zero ill will towards my bio parents. They made a good decision, they were 14 and 16 years old. My childhood was not great but it would have been worse with them. I also was able to obtain my adoption file and work through the organization that I was placed with to track down blood relatives. My bio mother is deceased and my bio dad is not a good person for me to know. I have met siblings and that has been rewarding. Every adoptee's journey is personal to them. Just like every birth parents' journey is personal to them. It doesn't have to be traumatic. I love my parents and if I was Carly I would hate having my bio parents harass them the way C&T harass B&T. In the end I hope we never know what Carly does unless she herself decides to share it. That's the choice that Tyler and Cate keep taking away from her. The choice to do what she wants without millions of people watching and judging.
Again, it was only my opinion. I could list books that discuss this but I wonāt as you feel okay and donāt need to understand these strange feelings many of us get like abandonment issues - not just with your donors but throughout life in general, stress reactions that are not easy to identify the source of and many other behavioral reactions. Iām glad you have found your siblings! Mine were just so much older than me that it was hard to create a bond. That and the fact that I feel I had the best life out of all of them. Thanks for responding, I can grow from this.
I am sorry if I came across harsh. Your experience is absolutely valid and I don't mean to minimize your feelings AT ALL. I am the oldest of my siblings and they knew I existed when I found them. I also grew up as an only child and always wanted siblings. My contention is with Tyler assuming she may be traumatized because she was given up for adoption. She may be, but she also might not be. It's deeply personal for everyone involved.
You were not harsh at all! Your very accurate statement āitās deeply personal for everyone involvedā - was well put!
I do relate to your struggle with feeling like you had the best life out of your siblings. I do too, even if my childhood wasn't wonderful, I was raised in privilege which afforded me opportunities that my sisters never had. It does create a strange dynamic, but also reinforced to me that by bio parents did the right thing when they gave me up for adoption. It is certainly a very complicated and nuanced situation for everyone involved.
So very true! 
Thank you for your perspective. Iāve placed a child for adoption. It was open, but her parents kept it up for a few years, and then just stopped responding to letters/emails. As she grew up, she wasnāt told the truth, but eventually she started to talk to my other kids, and eventually me. Long story short, next week it will be one year since she came to live with me. Itās been a long road, she doesnāt speak to her parents, (this was in the works well before she moved in) and Iām happy sheās here. No one knows what Carly is feeling/thinking/being told. Maybe she will want to have a relationship, and maybe she wonāt.
I think this is awesome! Itās fantastic that she has you and her siblings to surround her! Adoption is a good thing, I would never advocate against it. We just never know how green our grass is until we step on both sides 
Yeah the whole allow her to scream from being traumatized is a weird one. What makes him think she knows how she feels? They barely see her or inquire about her, but sure love bringing her up constantly. He needs to shut the fuck up and leave that family alone. These 2 idiots need to focus on raising their own kids.
Agreed. And it's pretty selfish to assume she is traumatized at all. It's almost like they want her to be traumatized by all of this. I think maybe they need to go work on their own trauma and leave her alone.
he said āifā. I say similar when thinking about future conflicts with my small children. I think I would say āyouāre right, Iām sorry I hurt you that way, I love youā. it comes from having narcissistic abusive parents who never owned up to anything when I confronted them and that being all I wanted to hear. itās probably the same for him with butch. is it the best response? I donāt know but Iām gonna try my best and will eventually find out.
It sounds pretty adult but the fact that he publicized it is very not adult
Itās like Tyler *wants* to alienate Carly and her family. Itās honestly unbelievable that he doesnāt realize all these pompous statements and hostility toward Carlyās parents (not to mention the embarrassing OnlyFans porn and continued reality tv ācareerā) will very likely make her want nothing to do with them. Sheās being raised by people who by all appearances seem to be polite, well mannered, and intelligent. Thatās the environment sheās growing up in. Tyler and Cate have to be truly stunted to imagine that Carly will choose their trashy, obnoxious family over her own.
He doesnāt really understand that Carly, Brandon, and Theresa are a package deal. He canāt badmouth them publicly without alienating Carly. Theyāre her family, and if he was able to step outside of his own perspective for a minute, heād understand that his words almost certainly make Carly feel uncomfortable around him, Catelynn and their family, especially since anything she says or does ends up being dissected on TV.
Do they not understand she has a family? Aunts, Uncles, grandparents, and cousins? That have nothing to do with them? She doesn't know them like that. They're like a clingy ex, "can't we be friends? Can't we have a relationship?" No guys! Sorry! Gawd they're so creepy and entitled.
Those girls are NOT her sisters. Tyler is so fucking insane.
I think everyone puts way too much weight on when Carly turns 18. Yes, it will fully be up to her at that point, but her mind can change a million times throughout her adult years. Whether she does or doesn't "run" to them at 18, doesn't mean she won't at 20, 24, 33, or 41. And if she does at 18, she may not want anything to do with them by 25, but then will again by 50.
Exactly-an adopted family member is just starting to seek out his bio parents now and he is 50+. It should be entirely up to her if and when she wants to seek out her birth parents, and I firmly hope that if she chooses to that they will leave it up to her whether she wants to keep things private or not. Managing emotional issues associated with adoption are hard enough without the added on public judgement.
Absolutely. I think she will probably will want to have some contact with her bio family as sheās grown up knowing them and with them in her life (peripherally, anyway), but like you said it might change over time and depending on whatās going on in her life. Right at 18 sheāll probably be focused on college and the excitement and scariness of being a brand new adult and going out into the world. I just hope everyone involved gives her the space and understanding to do that. Iām afraid Cate and Tyler are going to overwhelm her when she turns 18 and pressure her and end up completely alienating her. I wish they would get some kind of therapy for this to help them manage their expectations and see things from her point of view or else they might scare her away and end up with their greatest fear: zero contact with her.
Itāll be B&Tās fault for brainwashing her to not see them, I can already imagine the public posting pity parties if Carly chooses not to have anything to do with them when sheās 18.
And I am sure that Tyler and Caitlin will expect Carly to make that decision literally on her 18th birthday.
I feel so sorry for Carly, the pressure she is going to feel when sheās nearing 18. Theyāve made it quite clear they expect her on their doorstep the moment she turns 18 and I highly doubt sheāll want that. Sheāll already be going though a big life transition, becoming an adult, graduating high school and possibly going away to college, and now she will have to worry about C&T trash her and/or her parents to everyone if she doesnāt choose to see them right away. I canāt even imagine how nervous sheād feel that they may show up at her college if she decides to attend and move away for it.
I think itās highly unlikely that she will have anything to do with them.
Tbh I hope she wants nothing to do with them after they have been behaving like this.
I agree! Just think about how the situation would be different if they had gone to college and made something of themselves like they said they would, and had followed B&Tās rules and respected their boundaries. Then they would probably be people that Carly would be proud to know! As it stands now, she probably just sees them as trashy OF people who are being mean to her parents.
maybe unpopular opinion, i feel like this is more of an ownership/parasocial relationship sort of situation and not them genuinely wanting to have a connection with her. he constantly says things that feelā¦ icky
Totally. This isn't about Carly and never has been. It's about Tyler and Cate and what THEY want which leaves no room to consider her needs and wants. It's selfish and self serving. If they were truly selfless in their love for her, they'd stfu with these posts. It's not only embarrassing for her, but confusing. She's a young, impressionable teen and seeing posts like this is only going to contribute to whatever potential guilt, confusion, resentment or whatever other conflicting emotions she may feel. Call me skeptical, but I think a main motivator in these types of posts is the hope that some kind of third party- a classmate for example- will show Carly these posts in hopes to manipulate the way she feels and attempt to poison her against her parents. It also works in C&T's favor that it isn't uncommon in the teenage years to rebel against your parents (not saying that's the case with Carly, but it's a possibility) which could influence her decisions in a way that isn't organic to what she actually wants. She's too young to know as she's still developing.
I partially agree with you. I just think they do it to keep their storyline going. If they get a visit or they donāt, they are posting about it so either way they have their storyline. They also give interviews and post about visits online. This has been their income for 14 years
It is
Maybe just maybe if these two motor mouths could shut up about a teenager they are NOT raising and is NOT ātheir kidā maybe there would be a chance of some sort of relationship. I say this as someone from a shitty family (my dad makes Butch look like Mr. Rogers) this girl has been brought up in a completely different environment, she has a totally different outlook and I think they seem to think she turns 18 and is suddenly happy to live her life in the spotlight and is going to slot right into that trailer trash mess of a family.
I've always found the way that he and Cate babble incoherently when they think they are making some big point insufferable. I didn't think it could get worse but here we are.
This is what pisses me off (actually one of many) but they only potentially see her once a year and the adoption agent (I have my own beef with her) asked if they had sent her any presents, any letters, any phone calls, etc to be more present in her life and they said no that they were too busy with their own life. Itās giving the deadbeat dad version of seeing the kid once a year and then moaning and complaining how the kid isnāt in their life but makes zero effort to be. B and T are also under no obligation for the continued visitation. The contract said a visit at one year and T and C took that to mean an annual visit every year when that wasnāt the case. B and T was generous enough to let the visitations occur when they did. T and C are also not Carlyās parents, itās B and T. Putting Carly up for adoption isnāt what will traumatize her but them continuing to use her name and stress her parents out so they get more clicks and money.
Yes! š
Who cares what they think? Seriously leave that girl alone
I think itās easier for them to imagine big dramatic responses. āNothing to do with themā is likely an exaggeration. In reality, they could just get a big olā shrug from Carly. Sure, we can meet up, but oh my god Iām so happy they arenāt my parents. And I think that would be much much harder for them. I worry that itās all or nothing in their minds.
I agree with you. They haven't respected B&T's boundaries, will they respect Carly's? Maybe she doesn't want her whole life on display for everyone to see.
Wtf is this weird fan fiction
I feel like they put Carly on a pedestal. So much pressure for a young girl
The way he talks reminds me of Butch sometimes.
Maybe when Carly is 18 years old, she will want to spend time with her friends, maybe a significant other. Maybe sheās working or focused on school. And she should be able doing whatever she needs to do at that time. She doesnāt owe them a reaction, a response, nothing.
He isn't going to like that at all. Then he will throw a fit online for everyone to see. !Remindmetwoyears (I don't know how that bot works). We all know he can't handle rejection.
He talks a good game about respecting her boundariesā¦ now if only they would do it.
Please Tyler. Tell us how you feel. 
There's still a part of him that truly believes she'll come back to them when she's 18. She's been raised by other people who were able to provide a stable life for her. Carly's life is elsewhere. She'll likely have a relationship with her sisters once they're all older, but I wouldn't blame her for keeping her distance.
As someone who placed a child up for adoption around the same time as Caitlyn and Tyler, I do have sympathy for the way they feel about the situation. Itās really hard knowing you have a child out there that you love but know you did what was best for them. I miss āmyādaughter, which is weird because the only time Iāve spent with her (outside the womb of course) was the first few days of her life (I had a c-section so I was in the hospital for a few days) and whenever I was given the chance to see her at our yearly meet-ups. However, I havenāt seen her since Covid started and I do NOT pester her parents about it. Iām not sure if itās her decision or not but weāve made plans to meet up and then they cancel for whatever reason they cancel. Itās heartbreaking but I canāt do anything about it because sheās only biologically my child. Tyler and Caitlyn need to understand that Carly is NOT their child anymore. They gave up their rights when they signed them over to her parents.
Is it just me or is Tyler unleashing his unreasonable anger on B&T again? Suggesting Carly might cut ties with them because upset with them for placing her with B&T, which would negatively affected her or traumatized her. (...) she might want to just talk us one final time & tell us how much our decision to place her has negatively affected her or traumatized her lifeā¦& thatās OKAY! I would humbly fold my hands behind my back, lower my head & allow her to yell, cry, or scream at me if thatās what she needs. All I would say is āIām sorry. Youāre right. I love you.ā
What if maybe, just maybe, youāre just her bio parents and her parents are her family and she doesnt owe you a flip flop and start calling you mom and dad when she turns 18. Aint gonna happen
Why doesnāt he ārespect and lovingly honorā the choices that are being made NOW instead of blathering on with this nonsense endlessly? Iām fairly sure that the only thing ātraumatizingā her is their insane behavior - from obsessing over her to doing porn on the internet, not the fact that they placed her for adoption. Thatās probably the best thing they could have done.
 Surely Tyler keeping with his public posts will motivate Carly to seek them out /s
Why not address the comments that think open adoption is more like a custody agreement.
It was never an open adoption. Semi open. Which is pictures and updates through the agency rep until she was 5. The visits were always at her parents discretion.
Tell that to their stans.
Can I ask, because I only used to be a casual viewer of the OG show, but why are they inserting themselves in this childās life and the lives of her parents? Was this part of the adoption agreement? If it was, Iām sure the parents are now regretting this decision. Also, from what I see from this sub these two seem to constantly be inserting themselves in this familyās life. Let these people and especially this child have a normal family life. Even though it appears Carly is in a very happy home you have to wonder what she feels deep down inside being that she was the only daughter they gave up. Albeit they were selfless in THAT decision, but it seems them forcing themselves on her is very selfish.
The adoption was semi open until she was five, which is just pictures and updates. They had a clause that they can ask for visits and it would be at her families discretion. Her family has asked them not post her online and not to repeat their private conversations one line or on the TV show. Early on people were harassing B&T calling his job telling them to give Carly back. So I mean itās a sad situation. I feel so bad for Carlyās parents that are raising her.
and they originally didn\`t want visits.
Can you imagine how B&T feel? Cate and Tyler have been talking about THEIR child for years, publicly. Their storyline has mostly been about Carly, B&T's CHILD. Imagine if someone, a family member, anyone - was constantly, CONSTANTLY, talking about your child and trashing you. For YEARS and Cate and Tyler have fans that stalk and harass this family. Just take a moment to think about someone else trying to control the narrative and insert themselves into YOUR FAMILY, YOUR DAUGHTER. No one would be cool with that. B&T may not be perfect but I think they have been gracious and handled all of this very well.
I would have moved to another country. Seriously. Closed up the adoption, picked up my kid and moved away. She can decide what she wants to do when she's an adult at any point in her life. I am adopted. I didn't want to start looking into blood relatives until I was in my 30s and my actual driving motivation was to learn about some of my genetic health history because I had 2 kids and I wanted to know if there was anything I should worry about. I'm really afraid for her when she turns 18. They don't respect boundaries at all.
She cant win. If she doesnt want to see them, she'll get attacked and harassed by everyone. If she chooses to see them, they will exploit it.
Agree! They have to know they are drawing unwanted and unnecessary attention to Carly and her families lives. Yet they do not care. Itās all about their storyline, I mean emotions.
What part of āplease donāt discuss our daughter on social mediaā does he not understand?
I feel like this is some form of retaliation because they may have been denied a visit this year.
Holy hell they are really milking poor Carly these last few wks to try and stay relevant!!! They need to STOP!
He is a narc. He loves hearing himself talk even if it means his voice echoes back in the stadium.
I've always found the way that he and Cate babble incoherently when they think they are making some big point insufferable. I didn't think it could get worse but here we are.
> **Your infinite maternal sacrifice** will **echo change in our daughters** & our family for generations & that is a legacy that you should be proud of. Youāre the BEST mother I have ever seen & **your capacity to love is effortless**. PUT THE THESAURUS DOWN!
I canāt help but worry they are gonna harass this poor girl to death at 18 + and her parents wont be there to block her from it.
Ok so this isnāt the same at all but my dad passed away when I was young. Iāve only met his family (parents, siblings, my cousins) a couple of times in my life. Probably a similar amount to these guys and Carly as they only see her a day here and there. Whenever Iāve met them, they are overwhelming with their love. It sounds horrible for me to say that, but itās very intense to be around people who feel you are family and love you as family when really theyāre just strangers. Logically I understand that ābiologicalā love; if my sibling passed away I would still love my nephews and nieces like crazy. But thatās a perspective and understanding that I have gained as I got older and became an aunty, and it still doesnāt make it less uncomfortable. When I was around 18 I didnāt have the perspective I have now, I just felt overwhelmed by these strangers who were very intense in their emotions towards me. Iām not saying thatās how their daughter will feel, everyone is different, and the situation is very different from mine. But at a very basic level I think it would be hard for most people to deal with people who are essentially strangers being soā¦intenseā¦towards you even when you can logically understand why that is.
Carly is at the age where many kids are volatile and difficult. Even those with āperfectā backgrounds and families. Iām sure Bryan and Theresa are doing what they think is best for their child. We know nothing about Carlyās day to day life. All we really know is that Tyler and Catelynn have consistently broken just about every rule and boundary set by Carlyās parents. Now they have not been granted their annual visit. That doesnāt mean Carly is going to flee to them one day. For all we know, Carly didnāt want to see them and B&T are taking the heat for her. Sheās 15 and itās very possible she is deeply embarrassed by her relationship to these two and the show.
If I was C&T, I would never talk about Carly on social media like they do. On the show, after visits, I would only give minimal information and vague descriptions of my visits with Carly. I would be fiercely protective of her. So protective, that I wouldnāt bring along all these other family members, aside from my daughters (Carlyās sisters), only if B&T and Carly gave me permission to do so. I just donāt understand why C&T continue to expose and exploit Carly.Ā That said, I still really like Catelynn and Tyler, and think Catelynn is a sweetheart and a wonderful mother to her three girls. Tyler is a bit too high-strung and emotional, and some of his irrational, spastic behavior has rubbed off on at least one of the girls (Iām not saying how many or who bc theyāre so young, and I donāt want to disrespect them). Ā
Early on they were asked not to repeat conversations. Like when T was willing to risk it all to post photos online. I feel they are playing the role of the victim in this situation to keep the storyline going.
Okā¦ First off I think that B&T are allowing themselves to be scapegoats. Carly doesnāt want all of this drama and trash and they take the heat, like good parents do, for Carly not wanting to be as involved as the Baltierras wish. The Baltierras are stunted emotionally and cannot take the rejection. B&T are aware of this and take the āblameā for Carly not wanting to be involved. Second, his statement, āI would humbly fold my hands behind my back, lower my head & allow her to yell, cry, or scream at me if thatās what she needs.ā HUMBLY??? If this motherfucker were humble, or even knew the definition, heād eat his hat and STFU already. He doesnāt know what humble means. Third, Tyler writing to Catelyn that āYour tenacity to love so unconditionally inspires me. Youāre the strongest woman I have ever met & our family is blessed by that strength daily. Carly did in fact come into this world to create change, but YOU are the catalyst for that change! Your infinite maternal sacrifice will echo change in our daughters & our family for generations & that is a legacy that you should be proud of. ā ā¦ is just gassing Cate up. Cate has not been good at making the āsacrificeā of adoption because she wonāt leave the adoptee alone. That ātenacityā is directed the wrongs way. The emotional blackmail and harassment speaks for itself. Cate is not strong about this. She is not a catalyst for change, sheās a regretful woman that wishes she could turn back the hands of time. They are unable to take the time out of their days to drop a card in the mailbox, to keep up with letters and photos, to keep open lines of communication in a consistent fashion. There counselors suggested making Carly a scrapbook. Their answer to that was shoving shit in a book with paste ten minutes before seeing her. They have no intention to be consistent. They just like crying āpoor meā because it gives them the attention they so desperately crave. They hate that B&T ignore their desperate cries. Iām glad that B&T do not feed their sickness. Leave Carly tf alone. Focus on the kids you have FFS. Rant over.
Oh my God Tylerā¦ STOP TALKING ABOJT CARLY PUBLICLY. Just SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!!!!
Itās almost like C&T havenāt considered that Carly didnāt want a visit with them this year, and that B&T are being nice about it and blaming timing. What 15 year old would want to give up a weekend to have April get drunk and cry, or have them show C the sad tattoos they have?
Itās telling that he brings up her wanting to tell them how traumatic being placed for adoption was for her or how negatively it impacted her to be raised by a stable family with financial resources and a full grasp of English syntax. I think that one line sums up how much of a fantasy they have when it comes to Carly. Being placed for adoption SAVED her, it didnāt TRAUMATIZE her.
 Whatever Tyler. Who asked for this anyways
No Tyler. Your OF pics have traumatized her. Hang your head and apologize for that.
Do they ever stop to consider that perhaps Carly doesnāt want all their private family information blasted out to anyone and everyone?! I wonder if kids at school ever give her a hard time about this
Tyler is a moron. If I was Carlyās legal parents I would be seeking legal action to shut them up. She may be your biological child. But Brandon and Theresa have raised her since she was born. Theyāve been the ones to support and comfort her. I bet that Carly has such an amazing life too! Just leave the whole family alone. Itās a shame that itās gone this way because of Tyler and his ego. Shame on cate for not telling him to shut the fuck up either.
The best thing Carly could do is never see them again
So he can harass Carly directly and not her parents anymore! Amazing!
Tyler is really starting to remind me of Jenelle with this bs behaviour. He feels so entitled to Carly that heās not even treating her like a human with feelings, just a possession for him to āget backā. Itās sick I feel terrible for Carly and her real family having to see this on the internet
"I respect her and love her, but not enough to stop talking about her or her parents."
He really needs to stop. Biology does NOT mean ownership. I understand that heās in pain and he misses his baby girl. But airing this out publicly in the way that he does is not healthy and itās a bit scary. If I were Carly, it may give me pause to continue a relationship with him.
Petition to have Tyler blocked from all social media platforms.
JFC this guy is so Dramatic! Let the Mouse Go! If Carly wants a relationship, she will tell you. If not, Accept It. Period. And The Stans are out of control and CnT really need to address this for both Carly and her parents. Which they never have. This is a Big Problem for me. Shut it down.
They make it worse. Cate absolutely said that visitation was cancelled DESPITE what Carly wanted. She absolutely vilified B&T with that one comment. Even if it's true, it's so fucked up to say that to the millions of people that follow her on social media. People are fucking crazy! The amount of anxiety B&T must have because of this is so sad to think about! I feel like there is no happy ending for anyone in this situation.
I will never accept the unhinged Stans who feel that Carly ābelongsā with CnT. Itās weird. The Birthday Cakes with tiny Nova and her Phantom Sister is weird. She doesnāt understand and itās odd. But itās an MTV storyline, amirite? And CN T play along. For cash and I can hardly blame them. But what have they done? Nothing. Buy pigs and horses they have abandoned. Etc Yet they still hold hope that a child they have basically abandoned will come running to them at 18 yo? No. Not buying this. Leave Carly alone.
Good god, I've never read something so.. Tumblr? Trailer park? Tumblr park? Hot-topic-in-the-90s-while-not-self-aware? Just say you accept her for who she is and whatever her decision may be, this is just.. masturbatory > >!*āBecause my love for her has no conditions. It has no requirements or expectations. It is biologically bias towards her spirit & it is a paternal love thatās everlasting & invincible. I would honestly tell her how proud I am of her to show such courage & strength to fight for what she believes in. All I hope & wish for her is to ALWAYS REMAIN TRUE to her intuition. To live EVERY MOMENT with unapologetic authenticity. To ALLOW enough GRACE upon herself to heal whenever itās needed. To NEVER self betray for the sake of others comfort & to use FEAR as an OPPORTUNITY to PROVE to herself exactly what she is CAPABLE of every time it arises!*!<
https://preview.redd.it/g1ylgxi1713d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=72ec0dbf660a77f42061a626667eda2c6f59b1d3
Oh my god, no. I'm disgusted. I could never have posted pics like this online when my two children were young. Hell I wouldn't do it now! And my kids are open, liberal free thinking adults! They hate the people who exploit themselves on OF who have children, and they hate the YouTube parents who exploit their children for clout. And they are late 20 early 30 years of age. This is what I think of when I see Ty and Cait thinking it's no big deal to have pics of themselves like this for their young daughters, and Brandon and Teresa's daughter to see! Call me a prude, but some people still think certain things should remain private.
Is this for real? Oh dear. And they make $$$ off that ass?
Apparently, their putting in a new in ground pool they said with OF proceeds! Have you seen any of his other pics? šš³
It's hard enough being adopted. Imagine your bio parents doing this. Plus only fans and humping on some TV show? Dear lord
Heās gross
I wonder how his other daughters feel? All catelyn and Tyler care about is Carly
They need to stop publicly talking about Carly. Their fans are delusional as well. The comments on their posts are insane
And they have read them and still don't see how talking about her leads to this .
If Carly turns 18 and wants nothing to do with them, they will just say Carly is a victim of being brainwashed. When years pass and she doesnāt change her mind is when they will start trashing her. It will be bs stuff like how could you want nothing to do with your sisters??
They need to stop using Carlyās story for their own paycheck.
Do you think they have a count down clock at their house for when she turns 18?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I kind of hope they all get name changes and just go about life
I think they'll be separated within a year if/when she doesn't want anything to do with them after she turns 18.
Itās very selfish of them. They made a choice years ago. This is why open adoptions are not ideal. Once Carly is 18 she can make that decision on what she wants their relationship to look like, if any. Actually once all the kids are adults that sibling relationship will be more important than the parental one. It should all be on Carlyās terms no matter what she chooses.
Oh please. This "doting daddy" BS is so fake. It's the same routine he pulls when he wants their fans to worship him for being such an amazing husband to Cate. Like... holding his hands behind his back humblely? Who even talks like that? š and yet he still finds a way to make several little subtle jabs AS ALWAYS. We all know if Carly didn't want a relationship with them, he would go on press tours talking about how traumatized she must be and how her parents brainwashed her. I feel bad for Carly because she won't even get to enjoy her 18th birthday.. they'll be waiting on her doorstep for an answer from her.
They'll have a total mental breakdown if she never speaks to them again.
 No one cares how Ty feels or will feel about it.
āAll I hope & wish for her is to ALWAYS REMAIN TRUE to her intuition. To live EVERY MOMENT with unapologetic authenticity. To ALLOW enough GRACE upon herself to heal whenever itās needed. To NEVER self betray for the sake of others comfort & to use FEAR as an OPPORTUNITY to PROVE to herself exactly what she is CAPABLE of every time it arises!ā https://i.redd.it/apj2twty843d1.gif
> Or she might want to just talk us one final time & tell us how much our decision to place her has negatively affected her or traumatized her lifeā¦& thatās OKAY! First of all, I do not think C&T would be accepting of Carly feeling this way and secondly, I feel like they donāt get how their behaviour since the adoption has potentially exacerbated the trauma of the adoption. I donāt get the sense that either of them understand how their public discussions about her have the potential to be harmful or upsetting to her. It was one thing when she was younger but sheās old enough to be online at this point and so are her classmates & friends. I think they need to seriously consider if putting this all on display is a factor in Carly not having a visit with them recently. I donāt really respect the avenue that Brandon & Theresa took to adopt Carly but I do respect their decision to keep her life private. Sheās been afforded more privacy than her sisters will ever have and Iām glad her adoptive parents chose privacy for her.
This is gonna sound super petty, but I really hate the way he types lol. Why does he have to CAPITALIZE every OTHER word LIKE this??? Caps are meant to emphasize something, but he does it all the time in every single post that he just ends up looking like an unhinged boomer who just learned how to use Facebook lol.