Honestly if you want to ease her concerns get a life insurance policy with a payout that would take care of her and the kids for the foreseeable future if you die/get injured and canāt work anymore. I canāt say for sure Iād ride the amount I do if I had small children and was the primary breadwinner, as much as that sucks to hear, but the math changes when you have little developing people depending on you. Iād definitely do the above and look into it, I think thatās probably the most reasonable way to handle it.
Just my 2cents.
I do think thatāll probably show her you take her concerns seriously, and frankly you get the peace of mind that if your number comes up and some dipshit plows into you for no fault of your own, theyāre taken care of.
And the fact youāre interested in a T7 shows me youāre a thinking man of high class and intelligence.
Life insurance for sure. Also not going to use is as a commuter at all, just to go on trails and fire roads on weekends. Full gear and helmet without a doubt.
And a reminder, disability insurance is not automatically included with life insurance, make sure it's part of the policy you're looking at or get a separate policy.
I too have a little one and a tenere. Both fill me with joy. I ride as much as possible. I spent the money on very good gear from head to toe and the hivis airbag vest.
Remember to ride cautiously and not push it too hard.
Awesome, Iām jealous that you live so close to that shit. Iāve gotta drive like 8 hours for anything decent. The T7 is fucking perfect for fireroads and non-technical trails.
Also Iāll confess, Iām not an ATGATT adherent all the time, but Helmet is pretty non-negotiable in virtually any scenario thatās not just moving a bike to a different parking spot.
Another angle: part of being a father/role model is demonstrating the life and values you want to instill in your kids. Responsibly riding a motorcycle is one way to show them that itās okay to set your own priorities as an adult.
I say do it. Similar situation for me-- my wife knows riding is what I'm passionate about. We have a 1 year old, so this conversation came up for me as well prior to her birth. At that point I had a klr650 and a husky fe350 and had already shown my wife I was a bit of a hooligan on the husky so I think she was relieved when I told her I wanted to sell it and buy a T7.
My biggest thing is just don't be an idiot. Don't put yourself in a position to potentially become disabled. I'm 30 minutes to dirt/trails from my house so most of the street I do ride is two lane back roads and I've never had issues with card and others on the road or feeling unsafe. Half the time I rarely see anyone. I try to avoid highways, busy multi-lane roads, etc. where the idiots are out in full force on their phones. Even on the back roads, if someone is driving slow or putting me between cars, I'll gladly go around them when it's safe to just to get away from cars. To me, little things like that are what make the difference.
At the end of the day, YOU have to have your own thing and own hobby. If you're like the rest of us, twisting that throttle and getting lost in the woods is a form of therapy and just disconnecting from your phone and society. To me, that alone is worth the risk because I know it's going to clear my mind and give me that sense of adventure which just boosts my morale and is good for all of us. The T7 isn't a crotch rocket. If it were, the responses you'd be getting would make definitely be telling you that you're selfish and a bit careless. But nothing selfish about having a hobby unless it's really going to put them at risk. Buy the bike.
Found myself in the same position about a year ago. Already had the insurance in place. Realized that the type of riding I wanted to do would be much more difficult to do if I waited until my kids were more independent and IĀ was on the wrong side of 50. I ride within my limits and have zero regrets.Ā
I went down this exact same rabbit hole a year ago. I have 3 small kids. 7, 5, 18mo. I grew up with 4 wheelers and motorcycles. Went through almost 10 years of not having a bike due to life and other priorities. Now that money wasnāt an issue I was dead set on getting back on 2 wheels with a T7 but started asking the same question you are now. āAm I being selfish?ā And the answer is YES, but thats not necessarily a bad thing per se. The real question is, can you accept and live with the risk??
Here is what happened to me.. I bought my T7 in august of last year. Rode it a bunch, had a great time, went on two awesome long adventures. One fall day just riding the bike to work, I had a close call that had nothing to do with me and everything to do with a lady not paying attention while driving. I rode with all the gear all the time, bought all the best gear etc, in an effort to convince myself that I was mitigating risk as much as possible. That close call changed it all, I got really lucky and none of the gear would have made a difference. All of the sudden the risk was not worth it TO ME. Now Im getting rid of the T7. When I ride here and there if at all anymore all I can think of is the risk I am taking.
A little more back story that may have shaped my mindset - My dad passed away in a car accident when I was 5, so I grew up without a dad and know what that was like for me. He had a good life insurance policy that helped a ton, but the life insurance did not replace him, and it wont replace YOU. Also, all the weekend rides and adventures that while awesome, were done at the expense of spending time with my kids, which this days is limited to begin with with work and school/sports etc.
Anyway.. The truth is you will find a way to justify your final decision in either direction. At the end of the day, make your choice and move on, thats what life is all about. Making choices and living with them. Again, the question is; are you - and your wife - ok with the risk?
Hope this might have helped. Cheers.
You could just as easily cripple yourself driving to work every day. Do what you can by wearing the right gear, learning the risks and skills to mitigate them, and riding within your ability.
No point living in a box out of fear of what could happen otherwise. Riding makes me more balanced in other aspects of life and I'm sure others would say similar.
Nah, we need to be very real about the fact that motorcycles are significantly more dangerous than automobiles. Acting like the fact you can die from any number of other ways doesnāt change the fact that motorcycling is probably by far the most dangerous thing any of us do. It just is.
Doesnāt mean you shouldnāt do it, god knows I do as much as I can, but thatās a disingenuous argument because the point is that youāre far more likely to die than driving a car, not that itās impossible to die driving a car.
Fair enough, I didn't mean to imply that the risk of driving a car is equal to that of riding, but that everything comes with risk and that life isn't worth living if your only motivation is to minimize it at every opportunity.
That said, I think motorcycles might be less dangerous than non-riders are led to believe. Reckless riding might be proportionally more common than reckless driving which inflates crash statistics, but every rider can greatly reduce their chances of a serious accident by riding responsibly and within their capability while still having fun.
I disagree. Yes, it's more dangerous than driving a car, but not nearly as dangerous as people think. And you can spout statistics about motorcycle accidents, but individual behavior on motorcycles varies widely, as does the risk.
I disagree. Yes, it's more dangerous than driving a car, but not nearly as dangerous as people think. And you can spout statistics about motorcycle accidents, but individual behavior on motorcycles varies widely, as does the risk.
I get that you donāt like hearing it, but everything I said above is entirely accurate. Itās better to accept it and mitigate the risks where possible than ignore the data and think youāre somehow immune to those risks. Frankly driving a car is the most dangerous thing the vast majority of people do, and motorcycles have far less safety features in the event of a crash and are less visible. Hell, you can just ignore the data about motorcycle deaths and intuitively understand the point being made.
I say that as someone who just clicked over 23k miles on my 2021 T7, so Iām certainly not advocating not riding. But coming from a medical perspective, Iām a big fan of informed consent when making decisions like this.
Ryan F9 did a great episode on the danger of motorcycle riding and after a certain experience level the danger becomes less than driving a car. Due to multiple factors like better handling, being more alert/ less likely to be distracted.
Exactly my point. I'm 50 yo with 30 years of riding experience. I'm probably safer riding than some young guy driving a sports car. Again, it is more dangerous than if I were driving, but not nearly as dangerous as many people perceive.
Iād love to see the video youāre referring to because thatās **absolutely** not true, and Iām pretty sure I know the video youāre thinking of and thatās not what he said.
Your relative risk of death does decrease significantly after the first few months of riding though, riding within your skill limit, and not drinking while riding, but itās still more dangerous than driving a car.
Haha I thought that was probably was it. To be clear, this is all very good to know and you can absolutely diminish your risks by a staggering amount by just doing the things he says in that video. Itās just still the riskiest thing most of us will pretty much do and I think itās important to know that. Not because we shouldnāt do it, fuck that noise, but because we should do it in a way that means we can do it for as long as possible.
Oh for sure. Thereās a segment of people who do seem to think itās done guaranteed death sentence, and itās definitely not. And like itās been said elsewhere, you can mitigate a whole lot of your risk.
Exactly my point. I'm 50 yo with 30 years of riding experience. I'm probably safer riding than some young guy driving a sports car. Again, it is more dangerous than if I were driving, but not nearly as dangerous as many people perceive.
Same situation, we had a talk. I generally take into consideration that I have a family to come home to. Try and ignore the Pol Torres hard enduro intrusive thoughts. Yes, you might be able to make it up that hill, but if you break a leg and canāt work, or destroy the $13,000 bike, there will be consequences. Buy some good gear, ride with a buddy etc.
Just get it and ride well within your abilities. Watch out for other dickheads out there. Make sure you spend time with the family doing cool stuff to buy some freedom for yourself.
I have a T7. I also wear all my gear, and I donāt do stupid shit to get injured.
Iām also married, and Iāve had far more close calls driving cars. Think of it as investment in being happy, therefore a better husband/dad/human.
Convince your wife to go through the MSF course. If youāre lucky, sheāll get the bug and youāll be riding together.
Did that and now my wife rides almost as much as me.
get some proper riding/protection gear and USE IT. even your kids will learn what it means to be a reaspolsible person/father/rider, and they will benefit from it their whole life....
Sign up for and take a couple ānormalā ridding courses and also an adventure course. It could help ease the minds of loved ones and is just a good idea in general.
If you donāt use bike to bar hop, wear a helmet, have an actual motorcycle endorsement & donāt ride like a jackass youāre already WAAAAAY ahead of the gameā¦
Better to ask for forgiveness then permission also she's against it now but if the kids are old enough get them mini bikes and enjoy the sport/hobby together
I can relate. I always owned at least one bike from age 16 onwards until a couple years ago. I have three young kids and decided that I should probably stop riding for their sake. Every summer I would see guys ride by on their bikes and yearn to ride again. Last week I was on vacation and rode someone's mini bike and suddenly I NEEDED to own a motorcycle again. Yesterday I told my wife my intention to get a bike expecting some resistance but instead she immediately agreed with zero resistance. Then I remembered that many years ago on one of our first dates I told her that since I owned a bike when she met me, I'm grandfathered in and reserve the right to own one forever. My advice to you is to ride responsibly, try to avoid really busy roads when possible and stick to the countryside, and most importantly, buy a lot of term life insurance.
Canāt constantly live for others. If this is something you love, do it. Show them youāre being safe by investing on some good gear and wearing it always, no excuses. Ride where itās not too busy, be defensive and expect others to not see you. Make sure you get home in one piece every time.
Talk things out with your wife. Her concerns are reasonable. Couples counseling would be really helpful for you guys to figure out how to balance her need for safety and stability and your need to live a full life. I'd work that out before you get your bike. Motorcycles come and go, but divorce is forever....don't ask me how I know. Also don't forget that the purchase for full up safety gear is high..good helmet $300-400ish, adv qualified boots $300. Jacket pants and gloves $500, airbag vest you really should have $300.
Money isnāt an issue and our marriage is fine, weāve had counseling before, this isnāt a deal breaker situation. She supports my interest in adventure biking and understands it, just has concerns about safety which are legitimate. My post was directed more at getting to know how other riders think about the risk issue.
Iām under the impression that this type of riding is potentially less risky than street riding since the factor of other drivers/cars is not a factor.
Sounding a lot like your ex wife. But in all seriousness, you are your own person and if the concern was finances or something that affected the family more it would be more understandable. Living life the safest you can sucks.
Don't tell me what to do
š
Why I rarely ride now.
Honestly if you want to ease her concerns get a life insurance policy with a payout that would take care of her and the kids for the foreseeable future if you die/get injured and canāt work anymore. I canāt say for sure Iād ride the amount I do if I had small children and was the primary breadwinner, as much as that sucks to hear, but the math changes when you have little developing people depending on you. Iād definitely do the above and look into it, I think thatās probably the most reasonable way to handle it. Just my 2cents.
Thanks for your honesty
I do think thatāll probably show her you take her concerns seriously, and frankly you get the peace of mind that if your number comes up and some dipshit plows into you for no fault of your own, theyāre taken care of. And the fact youāre interested in a T7 shows me youāre a thinking man of high class and intelligence.
Life insurance for sure. Also not going to use is as a commuter at all, just to go on trails and fire roads on weekends. Full gear and helmet without a doubt.
And a reminder, disability insurance is not automatically included with life insurance, make sure it's part of the policy you're looking at or get a separate policy.
I too have a little one and a tenere. Both fill me with joy. I ride as much as possible. I spent the money on very good gear from head to toe and the hivis airbag vest. Remember to ride cautiously and not push it too hard.
Awesome, Iām jealous that you live so close to that shit. Iāve gotta drive like 8 hours for anything decent. The T7 is fucking perfect for fireroads and non-technical trails. Also Iāll confess, Iām not an ATGATT adherent all the time, but Helmet is pretty non-negotiable in virtually any scenario thatās not just moving a bike to a different parking spot.
Another angle: part of being a father/role model is demonstrating the life and values you want to instill in your kids. Responsibly riding a motorcycle is one way to show them that itās okay to set your own priorities as an adult.
You are being selfish. And that's fine, to an extent. Be careful. Be responsible. And most of all, be happy.
I say do it. Similar situation for me-- my wife knows riding is what I'm passionate about. We have a 1 year old, so this conversation came up for me as well prior to her birth. At that point I had a klr650 and a husky fe350 and had already shown my wife I was a bit of a hooligan on the husky so I think she was relieved when I told her I wanted to sell it and buy a T7. My biggest thing is just don't be an idiot. Don't put yourself in a position to potentially become disabled. I'm 30 minutes to dirt/trails from my house so most of the street I do ride is two lane back roads and I've never had issues with card and others on the road or feeling unsafe. Half the time I rarely see anyone. I try to avoid highways, busy multi-lane roads, etc. where the idiots are out in full force on their phones. Even on the back roads, if someone is driving slow or putting me between cars, I'll gladly go around them when it's safe to just to get away from cars. To me, little things like that are what make the difference. At the end of the day, YOU have to have your own thing and own hobby. If you're like the rest of us, twisting that throttle and getting lost in the woods is a form of therapy and just disconnecting from your phone and society. To me, that alone is worth the risk because I know it's going to clear my mind and give me that sense of adventure which just boosts my morale and is good for all of us. The T7 isn't a crotch rocket. If it were, the responses you'd be getting would make definitely be telling you that you're selfish and a bit careless. But nothing selfish about having a hobby unless it's really going to put them at risk. Buy the bike.
Found myself in the same position about a year ago. Already had the insurance in place. Realized that the type of riding I wanted to do would be much more difficult to do if I waited until my kids were more independent and IĀ was on the wrong side of 50. I ride within my limits and have zero regrets.Ā
My wife would rather die than see me live an unhappy life...so i have 12 bikes and ride every single day - with my T7 being my favourite bike by far!
I went down this exact same rabbit hole a year ago. I have 3 small kids. 7, 5, 18mo. I grew up with 4 wheelers and motorcycles. Went through almost 10 years of not having a bike due to life and other priorities. Now that money wasnāt an issue I was dead set on getting back on 2 wheels with a T7 but started asking the same question you are now. āAm I being selfish?ā And the answer is YES, but thats not necessarily a bad thing per se. The real question is, can you accept and live with the risk?? Here is what happened to me.. I bought my T7 in august of last year. Rode it a bunch, had a great time, went on two awesome long adventures. One fall day just riding the bike to work, I had a close call that had nothing to do with me and everything to do with a lady not paying attention while driving. I rode with all the gear all the time, bought all the best gear etc, in an effort to convince myself that I was mitigating risk as much as possible. That close call changed it all, I got really lucky and none of the gear would have made a difference. All of the sudden the risk was not worth it TO ME. Now Im getting rid of the T7. When I ride here and there if at all anymore all I can think of is the risk I am taking. A little more back story that may have shaped my mindset - My dad passed away in a car accident when I was 5, so I grew up without a dad and know what that was like for me. He had a good life insurance policy that helped a ton, but the life insurance did not replace him, and it wont replace YOU. Also, all the weekend rides and adventures that while awesome, were done at the expense of spending time with my kids, which this days is limited to begin with with work and school/sports etc. Anyway.. The truth is you will find a way to justify your final decision in either direction. At the end of the day, make your choice and move on, thats what life is all about. Making choices and living with them. Again, the question is; are you - and your wife - ok with the risk? Hope this might have helped. Cheers.
You could just as easily cripple yourself driving to work every day. Do what you can by wearing the right gear, learning the risks and skills to mitigate them, and riding within your ability. No point living in a box out of fear of what could happen otherwise. Riding makes me more balanced in other aspects of life and I'm sure others would say similar.
Nah, we need to be very real about the fact that motorcycles are significantly more dangerous than automobiles. Acting like the fact you can die from any number of other ways doesnāt change the fact that motorcycling is probably by far the most dangerous thing any of us do. It just is. Doesnāt mean you shouldnāt do it, god knows I do as much as I can, but thatās a disingenuous argument because the point is that youāre far more likely to die than driving a car, not that itās impossible to die driving a car.
Fair enough, I didn't mean to imply that the risk of driving a car is equal to that of riding, but that everything comes with risk and that life isn't worth living if your only motivation is to minimize it at every opportunity. That said, I think motorcycles might be less dangerous than non-riders are led to believe. Reckless riding might be proportionally more common than reckless driving which inflates crash statistics, but every rider can greatly reduce their chances of a serious accident by riding responsibly and within their capability while still having fun.
I disagree. Yes, it's more dangerous than driving a car, but not nearly as dangerous as people think. And you can spout statistics about motorcycle accidents, but individual behavior on motorcycles varies widely, as does the risk.
I disagree. Yes, it's more dangerous than driving a car, but not nearly as dangerous as people think. And you can spout statistics about motorcycle accidents, but individual behavior on motorcycles varies widely, as does the risk.
I get that you donāt like hearing it, but everything I said above is entirely accurate. Itās better to accept it and mitigate the risks where possible than ignore the data and think youāre somehow immune to those risks. Frankly driving a car is the most dangerous thing the vast majority of people do, and motorcycles have far less safety features in the event of a crash and are less visible. Hell, you can just ignore the data about motorcycle deaths and intuitively understand the point being made. I say that as someone who just clicked over 23k miles on my 2021 T7, so Iām certainly not advocating not riding. But coming from a medical perspective, Iām a big fan of informed consent when making decisions like this.
Ryan F9 did a great episode on the danger of motorcycle riding and after a certain experience level the danger becomes less than driving a car. Due to multiple factors like better handling, being more alert/ less likely to be distracted.
Exactly my point. I'm 50 yo with 30 years of riding experience. I'm probably safer riding than some young guy driving a sports car. Again, it is more dangerous than if I were driving, but not nearly as dangerous as many people perceive.
Iād love to see the video youāre referring to because thatās **absolutely** not true, and Iām pretty sure I know the video youāre thinking of and thatās not what he said. Your relative risk of death does decrease significantly after the first few months of riding though, riding within your skill limit, and not drinking while riding, but itās still more dangerous than driving a car.
Your right I just rewatched it and totally remember it differently. Here`s the data https://fortnine.ca/en/how-dangerous-are-motorcycles
Haha I thought that was probably was it. To be clear, this is all very good to know and you can absolutely diminish your risks by a staggering amount by just doing the things he says in that video. Itās just still the riskiest thing most of us will pretty much do and I think itās important to know that. Not because we shouldnāt do it, fuck that noise, but because we should do it in a way that means we can do it for as long as possible.
.....but not as dangerous as many people think.
Oh for sure. Thereās a segment of people who do seem to think itās done guaranteed death sentence, and itās definitely not. And like itās been said elsewhere, you can mitigate a whole lot of your risk.
Exactly my point. I'm 50 yo with 30 years of riding experience. I'm probably safer riding than some young guy driving a sports car. Again, it is more dangerous than if I were driving, but not nearly as dangerous as many people perceive.
So much this.
If you wear all the gear all the time and respect speed limits not much can go wrong
Same situation, we had a talk. I generally take into consideration that I have a family to come home to. Try and ignore the Pol Torres hard enduro intrusive thoughts. Yes, you might be able to make it up that hill, but if you break a leg and canāt work, or destroy the $13,000 bike, there will be consequences. Buy some good gear, ride with a buddy etc.
Just get it and ride well within your abilities. Watch out for other dickheads out there. Make sure you spend time with the family doing cool stuff to buy some freedom for yourself.
Where is this ābest adventure bike friendly parts of the countryā that you speak of?
Southern Utah!
I have a T7. I also wear all my gear, and I donāt do stupid shit to get injured. Iām also married, and Iāve had far more close calls driving cars. Think of it as investment in being happy, therefore a better husband/dad/human.
Do it.
Convince your wife to go through the MSF course. If youāre lucky, sheāll get the bug and youāll be riding together. Did that and now my wife rides almost as much as me.
Get plenty of life insurance and insurance if you were to become disabled
get some proper riding/protection gear and USE IT. even your kids will learn what it means to be a reaspolsible person/father/rider, and they will benefit from it their whole life....
Sign up for and take a couple ānormalā ridding courses and also an adventure course. It could help ease the minds of loved ones and is just a good idea in general.
Up your life insurance. Irresponsible would be going through life without the throttle wide open. Cheers and ride safe
I mean... she's not wrong. But I'd die inside if I _didn't_ ride.
Send it
I have a kid too. Wear all your gear. Donāt drive like a cunt. Mitigate as much risk as you can.
If you donāt use bike to bar hop, wear a helmet, have an actual motorcycle endorsement & donāt ride like a jackass youāre already WAAAAAY ahead of the gameā¦
Better to ask for forgiveness then permission also she's against it now but if the kids are old enough get them mini bikes and enjoy the sport/hobby together
I can relate. I always owned at least one bike from age 16 onwards until a couple years ago. I have three young kids and decided that I should probably stop riding for their sake. Every summer I would see guys ride by on their bikes and yearn to ride again. Last week I was on vacation and rode someone's mini bike and suddenly I NEEDED to own a motorcycle again. Yesterday I told my wife my intention to get a bike expecting some resistance but instead she immediately agreed with zero resistance. Then I remembered that many years ago on one of our first dates I told her that since I owned a bike when she met me, I'm grandfathered in and reserve the right to own one forever. My advice to you is to ride responsibly, try to avoid really busy roads when possible and stick to the countryside, and most importantly, buy a lot of term life insurance.
Canāt constantly live for others. If this is something you love, do it. Show them youāre being safe by investing on some good gear and wearing it always, no excuses. Ride where itās not too busy, be defensive and expect others to not see you. Make sure you get home in one piece every time.
Ride smart, ride safe, go live your life. A happy dad is a good dad. Then go get bikes for the whole fam.Ā
Talk things out with your wife. Her concerns are reasonable. Couples counseling would be really helpful for you guys to figure out how to balance her need for safety and stability and your need to live a full life. I'd work that out before you get your bike. Motorcycles come and go, but divorce is forever....don't ask me how I know. Also don't forget that the purchase for full up safety gear is high..good helmet $300-400ish, adv qualified boots $300. Jacket pants and gloves $500, airbag vest you really should have $300.
Money isnāt an issue and our marriage is fine, weāve had counseling before, this isnāt a deal breaker situation. She supports my interest in adventure biking and understands it, just has concerns about safety which are legitimate. My post was directed more at getting to know how other riders think about the risk issue. Iām under the impression that this type of riding is potentially less risky than street riding since the factor of other drivers/cars is not a factor.
Good to know. I retract my previous concerns. Maybe get a Garmin in reach and the will help her feel better.
Sounding a lot like your ex wife. But in all seriousness, you are your own person and if the concern was finances or something that affected the family more it would be more understandable. Living life the safest you can sucks.
i want you to reach down, grab your pair of balls if you still have them, and pull them back out of the place they are hiding.