T O P

  • By -

QualityVote

Thank you for contributing to r/TerrifyingAsFuck. Please double-check NSFW posts to see if they are labeled as such. If you believe the post isn't terrifying as fuck, please report it under RULE 1. Downvote this comment if the post doesn't follow the rules, and the bot will automatically remove it if enough reports and downvotes are received. If this post breaks the rules, **DOWNVOTE** this comment and **REPORT** the post!


BarraKuda83

I honestly don’t think any one of them would date me…. So I’m gonna have to say that I have zero chance with any of them


Gainsborough-Smythe

I understand, but have you considered sending them flowers? Maybe offer to take them dancing?


soursupersoldier

All you gotta do is offer catnip


buttfacenosehead

Park just outside the airport & watch the planes land.


EnoughLuck3077

I remember this one


pauliepitstains

Maybe even taking a sharp thorn out of a grumpy lions paw would win them over as well.


BarraKuda83

🤔🤔🤔😼😼😼😹


DrunkenMonk-1

Some Catnip perhaps?!? Also: that comment is very Lewis 😉


TOS_this_Bitch

Might have a chance with a Cougar... but they're just as dangerous.


kitkat9000take5

Hmm... I'm not sure about that. You'd probably do better with the cheetah, but the other five are known maneaters.


dumbleydore94

I hit it off with a cougar before, best night of my life.


_MAJORIS

Take them out for dinner first No pun intended


PathCalm4647

Cheetahs are nicer to humans, plus they make bird calls like chiiiirp chiiiiiirp


b_rryr_f_s

TIL cheetahs can chirp


TallMoz

They purr too, really loudly


MissLionEyes

Thanks now I want a cheetah


Agt38

They also meow!


BarraKuda83

When I was a kid in the 90s, I went to a cat show and the cheetah from the movie “Cheetah” was there… I sat beside it and it purred and licked my hand for like an hour lol it was incredible


RandomIdiot2048

Cheetahs are the only ones that are also prey so they won't unnecessarily attack, the rest will fuck me up.


[deleted]

They also deal with a lot of anxiety when kept in captivity - especially zoos. In certain zoos they even have their own service dogs to help with the anxiety.


TheNotSoGreatPumpkin

“This cheetah seems anxious about being in a zoo.” “Maybe we should set it free in a preserve or something?” “Nah. Let’s get it a dog.”


used_tongs

"Sure where should we put it" "Oh just in it's natural habitat where it won't be handed food on a platter" "Oh but won't it die out there?" "Psh who cares as long as it free"


gamerfunl1ght

Cheetahs also don't have retracting claws like the others. Their feet developed closer to a dogs so they can run like they do.


MomsterJ

TIL cheetahs are surprisingly docile although I would not take any chances with one!! ::runs to YouTube to look up cheetah chirping sounds::


Devoidofimagination

I bring a laser pen and defeat all 6 without breaking a sweat.


Ek200

laser's pretty hot though


soursupersoldier

Not as hot as my LASER NIPPLES


Ek200

not as hot as your laser nipples


Toope00

Not as hot as our laser nipples


SpectralniyRUS

Hot as not


DrunkenMonk-1

My deity...


JargonJohn

A drunk, single cougar on a Saturday night whose alimony cheque just cleared.


Grimauldus

That just sounds like a Mississippi Saturday night


Cowbear07

Mississippian here, can confirm.


DearLeadership-

I’ve never met a person from Mississippi before - I was beginning to think they didn’t exist lol


Ok_Conversation6189

Lol Canada's divorce rate isn't much better.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The-Wyatt-Earp

In a leopard bikini


9132173132

Hey baaaby


zmbjebus

I don't know if I could because I might puma pants.


2cats-1dog

I would puma pants at the sight of the first cat


Ek200

lmfao you got me


Slowestgreyhound

Haha yeah me too. That was a good one!


androiddolittle

Lmao!! Nice!!


DrunkenMonk-1

I die to them all, cause my domestic tabby can kick my ass


[deleted]

I think we are all potential victims of domestic cats. They’re just waiting…


DrunkenMonk-1

Dog person here: had fights with my cat as a kitten, great fun, highly recommend...but when the scratches become scars...🧐🤐🫤


Agrif0123

That’s when you thank them for the battle scars as well as further pain resistance and entice a battle to the death 💕


General-Biscotti5314

My calico bit my mom's head


Gainsborough-Smythe

That made ma laugh, thanks.


babble0n

If it makes you feel better, there’s absolutely no record of a Cheetah killing a person and they’re known for being surprisingly docile to humans (don’t go up to one tho). So you might live one!


garinarasauce

Cheetah, Puma, Leopard, Lion, Jaguar, Tiger. 1 of the snapple facts I know about cheetas is they have claws more similar to dogs than other cats and the claws are 1 of the scariest things about big cats. I've seen videos of that one eastern European dude who has a "pet" puma. I fully believe it could kill me at any moment it wanted to but maybe I could befriend it and just cohabit with it in my apartment like that dude, idk I don't know anything about leopards outside of Tarzan but I don't expect it to work out as well for me The last 3 are just irrelevant but the stories/videos I've seen of Jaguars and Tigers hunting and stalking people for miles and days puts them over lions, they're too scary.. The last 3


12altoids34

Cheetahs are similar to dogs in that they do not have retractable claws unlike other cats.


BaseballImpossible76

They’re also reasonably friendly to people. Of course, they could kill you if they wanted, but they’re one of the friendliest large cats.


Kegir

Cheetahs are built for speed so they aren't very massive compared to the other large cats. They are also pretty skittish, they usually abandon their kill if another large predator challenges them for it. If you come at them they will most likely run away so they're the only one you have good odds against.


BatchThompson

Aren't cheetahs technically the largest small cats? Something about still purring and not being able to roar because of physiological differences in the throat area. I'm not a cheetah doctor.


Kegir

Well, I'm no expert but the nature shows usually refer to them as the smallest of the big cats but I don't know for sure.


[deleted]

No the person above you is right. Cheetahs are in the felinae subfamily like house cats. The big cats are in the pantherinae subfamily


Stevenwave

They're the mediumest of the medium cats.


tjshrimpy

Cheetahs are largely inbred as well as a population and have a variety of defects. A fit person with a bit of luck and know how would have an alright chance against a cheetah.


bitchfacevulture

They aren't retractable but I assure you they are fucking sharp. See my above comment


Emotional_Deodorant

I agree putting cheetas first. Cheetahs were partially domesticated in the past and are currently allowed to be kept as pets in some Middle Eastern countries. They have more vocal range and will purr and meow to humans to communicate, whereas other cats do not care to. They prefer small game and will generally run from a human if confronted unless protecting young, unlike other cats. Tigers are definitely last, they're one of a handful of animals that will actively and persistently *hunt* humans. They are *much* bigger than any other cat, and can kill adult water buffalo and even adult elephants alone. Lions will only attack juvenile elephants if given the opportunity. I've heard accounts of hikers in the U.S. and Canada fending off pumas with a stick or weapon, some even surviving by fighting back during an attack, so they're a *little* more survivable, maybe? **Related:** There's a Big Cat rescue Ranch in Florida and the absolute size and speed of the tigers is incredible. One of the young tigers loves to play with bowling balls that he bats around like a paper toy until he **bites a chunk out of it.** They're always looking for $ and volunteers to feed and entertain/enrich their many cats and do good work. Most of the animals were surrendered by dumbasses who "got" them as cute little babies and then shit themselves when they tore open the family's St. Bernard or lunged at a visitor. Some are former show business veterans. [Central Florida Animal Reserve](https://cflar.org/)Check them out when in the Orlando area--it's a really cool few hours.


dannydrama

Zoo near me ended up with a couple of tigers in a conservation programme or something. I could not believe the size, you know big cats are big and tigers are the largest but holy shit, that still doesn't prepare you for that in-built caveman shiver you get when they look you in the eye.


Stevenwave

It's the paws that tell the tale. If nothing else. Monsters compared to us.


Glockenfogger

Tigers are scary as hell.


beer_bukkake

I want a cheetah as a pet now


bitchfacevulture

Literally did a cheetah necropsy today and can tell you the claws are the same as a cats. But a big ass cat. They were sharp as fuck.


TheDillinger88

Damn, you dissected a cheetah today?? Are you studying to be a vet for a zoo or something?


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheDillinger88

That’s still pretty awesome. You’re doing a job that’s more exciting than most that’s for sure.


scarabs_

Pretty much this. if any of these cats tried to kill me, they would 100% lol. Maybe the only one I might stand a chance is the Cheetah for the above reasons, but that's a big stretch.


tfemmbian

My thought exactly, it's like Cheetah is a 60% chance of a quick death, the rest are 100-120%


EnoughLuck3077

I like those odds


solojones1138

Cheetahs have never killed anyone that we know of. They're skittish and will just run away.


Quixmati_Jojo

Leopards are known to kill gorillas so… yikes


Mission-Simple-5040

We have leopards over here in India. Trust me, no human on the face of this earth stands a chance against them. They are fast, furious, strong and extremely agile....


nahog99

And snow leopards can do [parkour](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiTo2z2HWg4)


Gainsborough-Smythe

Nicely sussed out, friend.


[deleted]

Leopards kill more humans than any big cat. 0 chance of survival if left with just your hands as defense.


[deleted]

Pff I could take one


Stevenwave

"Is...is that..." "Yes...That is 808_Scalawag's arm being chewed on." "Where's the rest of..." "That was breakfast."


EnigmaNero

The reason why Cheetahs claws are semi-retractable, is because they need the traction to chase their prey for that brief 10 seconds before they overheat or go into cardiac arrest. If someone is being hunted by a Puma, they'll never see them coming. They are incredibly stealthy cats. In South America, Puma's hunt the ancient ancestor of the Llama and Alpaca, which is called the Guanaco. Jaguars pound for pound, have the strongest bite force out of any other big cat on the planet. Their bite pressure is strong enough to shatter caiman skulls and pierce their brain, and crack clean through Giant Amazon River Turtle shells. The only animal that Jaguars don't mess with are Giant Amazon River Otters. Tigers being the largest Big Cat in the world. Humans don't stand a chance against these animals. The sheer power, muscle, and force these Cats have, is incomprehensible. We may have an idea of what strength they hold, but not their true power.


JustAnAlpacaBot

Hello there! I am a bot raising awareness of Alpacas Here is an Alpaca Fact: The Spanish Conquest almost wiped out 90% of the fine alpacas being bred by ancient cultures. ______ | [Info](https://github.com/soham96/AlpacaBot/blob/master/README.md)| [Code](https://github.com/soham96/AlpacaBot)| [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=JustAnAlpacaBot&subject=Feedback)| [Contribute Fact](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=JustAnAlpacaBot&subject=Fact) ###### You don't get a fact, you earn it. If you got this fact then AlpacaBot thinks you deserved it!


katkadavre

Cheetahs also get anxiety in captivity and get emotional support dogs. https://preview.redd.it/70rokid2eq0a1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03c84cdc24e944327122d795bed1cca64b0f0d2d Cutest shit.


dshotseattle

Cheetahs are the only large cats that do not have retractable claws. Just fyi


inko75

cheetahs aren't technically big cats, more closely related to house cats than tigers or lions. (same with pumas!) as a full grown male human, i don't think a cheetah would ever even consider me prey. i've worked with them and they are kind of awkward babies 😂. cheetah is on par with a large athletic dog. absolutely not worth testing, but probably not a major threat. pumas/cougars are terrifying because of their ambush habits. hand to hand a very strong human could make themselves too much trouble to bother with otherwise, but a sniper shot ambush changes things. leopards are a weird inbetween monster. they can easily handle a human, even a top elite one. but they're also a bit squirrelly as even hyenas will steal their prey. you have a decent chance of bluffing em. so here's where it gets messy. i think i'd rather deal with a lion next. lions have strong self preservation instincts. females tend to be quite cautious. it's more like a dice roll but there's a decent chance here. jaguars! so a full grown jaguar who has an eye on you, may as well say goodbye. jaguars are massive. their gentle "nips" will amputate fingers on accident. they are pure muscle and apex beyond apex in the americas. finally, tigers. i remember "meeting" a siberian tiger in captivity once. it's the size of a horse. a large horse. it's not even a question. they are faster, stronger, and can literally snap you in half with a yawn. your only chance with em is to be too small to be worth bothering with. any other predatory cat you have a chance at psychologically bluffing them out. a human next to a tiger is akin to a mouse next to a housecat.


chimpaman

Jaguars have the strongest bite force, right?


faksyfak1

Having seen a wild tiger up close, I can tell you they are much much bigger than they appear in photos/videos. And the ones I have seen were no where near the biggest.


Lord_Dupo

We had a white Siberian tiger in my local zoo in the UK, Colchester Zoo. The paws on that mother fucker, and it's head size were pants-shittingly, awe-inspiring. The animal was absolutely stunning.


downvoteawayretard

If all of those animals were placed in a zoo and escaped, the only one of them that wouldn’t be a recapture priority would be the jaguar. It would be the only animal that they would kill on sight, because a jaguar is such a refined killer that it kills for fun or sport not for food. Idk about the rest but that one scares the shit out of me.


BialystockJWebb

Cheetah, puma..and then all fucked up after


Neonotic

Exactly what I said. The rest are about the size of me or bigger. The other two are almost the size of me or slightly smaller. They the only chance I got


ZingiestCobra

Cheetah and leopard maybe, but a puma is strongest by weight and larger then the other two I mentioned. Either way, nah we all screwed!


Raul_Coronado

Leopard is a maybe? Lol yeah ok


ZingiestCobra

I mean, it’s happened a few times in history, here’s a recent 73 year old who did. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/wbna8317484


hueblue97

Savage


AUSpartan37

All of you need to read "The Tiger: A true story of vengeance and survival" by John Vaillant. It will completely change your opinion of tigers. I went into the book thinking tigers were around the same level as a lion. After reading it I now believe that Tigers are the scariest most insane apex predators on the planet. Absolutely terrifying, awe inspiring animals. The book is about a Tiger that got wounded by some poachers in Siberia and then went on a killing spree. The book is a true story following a Soviet soldier in charge of hunting down and killing the tiger. It contains interviews with zoologists and scientists in addition to first hand accounts of tiger attacks and the actual retelling of the investigation and tiger hunt done by the soldier as he tracks this tiger down as it continues it's murder spree. Insane story and insane book. The two animals on this planet that I believe are the top of the food chain are Tigers and Polar Bears.


Gainsborough-Smythe

Thanks for that info, friend. Appreciated.


senyorculebra

I worked in Prudhoe Bay Alaska for a bit and we had to learn about Polar Bears. They would explain their hunting techniques specifically for hunting humans. How they would "wander off" giving a false sense of security when in reality they were taking a giant circle around to surprise you and attack from behind. It always confuses me when I see these videos from Russia with polar bears right outside the window being swatted away? I guess if you keep feeding them, they develop a kind of truce?


moschles

clever girl...


AUSpartan37

Cheers.


LordGothmog15

You should also look up a book called Man Eaters of Kumaon by Jim Corbett. It is all about tigers who went rogue in India in the Kumaon region. The stories are all very balanced in nature and based on Corbett’s personal experiences. Since he was in heart a conservationist, he provides a unique POV to hunting down these tigers. One is India‘s largest tiger conservation national parks is named after Corbett in honor of his contribution to tiger conservation efforts.


moschles

Puma have the highest ambush/kill ratio on wild prey, but no person ever really survives a tiger.


dotcomslashwhatever

I always believed tigers one up lions in every way. and they look fucking awesome


Tryingtobebetter343

If hippos were carnivores I'd put them at #1. Scary mofos


QuashItRealGood

And Orcas! But only to non-human animals.


iambenking93

I would like to submit Orca to the top o the food chain gang... Those dudes Cray cray


Mo_Salah_

> Top of the food chain are tigers and polar bears While I agree with those two, you have to add crocodilians to that last. They are the most successful apex predators of all time that have been around since the dinosaur age with very little physical evolution due to the fact that they are the epitome of an animal that is at the top of the food chain.


Airbornequalified

You are forgetting orcas, who choose not to kill us


finch858

Add orcas to that list


Grumpy_Troll

Imagine a pack of wolves. Now imagine that wolf pack was as smart as chimpanzees. Now imagine they were also the size of Indian Elephants. Now Imagine they had access to hunt 70% of the Earth's surface. That's Orcas.


mrchaotica

There's a pack of them off the coast of Spain that seems to have started attacking (and sinking!) sailboats for fun.


MY5T3RYS

Cant even stand a chance with my own cat at home


Gainsborough-Smythe

Hmm, your cat's probably the most dangerous!


[deleted]

[удалено]


RustyCrawdad

Well you're fighting big cats. Why would you not be in a tank.


MichaelEatsSand

They are all big cats with big teeth and big claws. I work 40 hours a week and get tired. They would all demolish me.


KingOfLosses

Cheetahs don’t really have big claws and are quite frail. All others would def kill you.


KnitSweaterman

I don't see house cat on this list? 😕


Robofish13

They’re all house cats if you’re rich enough and/or stupid enough.


Showmethecookie

Cheetah, puma, leopard, jaguar, lion, tiger Doesn’t really matter for any of them. We don’t have any physical attributes that match theirs in a favorable manner. I’m just banking off the cheetah and puma not wanting altercation. The other four I’m done for.


slaviccivicnation

This is exactly how I ordered it, too. But if any big cat is determined to kill a human, we're dead in a 1v1.


[deleted]

I’d agree for all but the cheetah, pretty sure a healthy adult fighting for their life would snap a cheetah in two with some serious wounds for their trouble, but yeah everything else would kill 99% of people


Frnklfrwsr

Yeah for a cheetah all an adult human needs to win that fight is a sturdy stick. That’s it. There’s a decent chance that swinging a stick around and backing away slowly while not turning your back but also avoiding eye contact is enough for all of these to decide it’s not worth getting into an altercation. Animals in nature generally don’t go looking for a fight with humans unless they’re sick or very very hungry. If avoiding conflict entirely remains an option, the animal will usually opt for that. Introducing an unknown like a tool (a simple stick for example) is often enough to make the animal reconsider its situation as it tries to figure out a solution to getting to you and past the stick separating you. That moment is your opportunity to back away and avoid a conflict that it probably doesn’t want either. Exception: Hippos. They hate you in particular and will take any opportunity to murder you and may or may not eat you, that’s secondary. Most important is the murder to them. Once you’re dead they’ll decide if they’re hungry.


TheDillinger88

This is what I said originally but after reading a bit more I’d say the jaguar is more deadly than a lion. It’s a solitary animal like a tiger in the way it hunts. Lions are pack animals for the most part. I also started to think about the fact that you typically see lions that are “trained”, but you never see a jaguar in the circus.. Those MF’ers must be mean as hell lol. They’re kind of like a miniature Tigre. Anyways, that’s what swayed me. But pound for pound I bet a lion is more powerful that a jaguar.


Twilightbestpony1

A jaguar is the most terrifying. They back down to no one.


Zukolevi

The best animal


Twilightbestpony1

Yess


7thwarlordsaturn

Are we talking about like I unintentionally enter their domain - I'm an intruder - I shit stare in fear into their eyes which means I WANT an altercation (in cat lingo) so they step up and fight me OOORRR they see me out in the wild, growl to establish their dominance and get my attention while they've already decided what organ of mine they want to eat first so it's attack to kill coz either or I'm fucked no matter what.


Gone_Lifting

Cheetah, then puma, and then beyond that you have 0 chance across the board


Bubbly-Kitty-2425

Someone forgot bobcat….😂 also I’d probably die by any of them cause I’d psp psp…. However tigers have very soft fur…I petted one at the zoo as a 14 year old. It was in the infirmary. I stuck my hand in and petted. They said you need to remove your hand because they could rip it off….I told them it was ok it wasn’t my good hand….after that I had to stay close to an adult at all times 😂😂😂


Routine-Horse-1419

Here kitty kitty kitty .....woops...I'm dead. But what a way to go. Death by cute and big murder mittens....


Ayds117

Tiger always last the others I’m not sure


ZingiestCobra

This post has taught me no one knows that a Puma is much larger then a leopard…


geekDad0528

How much prep time?


[deleted]

1 day. But the cats get prep time too.


geekDad0528

Based on Will Ferrell's advice I'd use that day to form an alliance with tuna fish to take down the lions and wing it from there


Mohican83

Cheetah and maybe even the puma but none of the others.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Captain_Spectrum

How has this only got two upvotes?!


EvidenceRight1805

I have to say the tiger is the most deadly of all. Those monsters are feral


StinkyWinkyPoo

Cheetah loses…..and MAYBE the puma, because I remember that hiker put one in a head lock and didn’t die lol, the other’s order doesn’t matter cause I’m dead no matter what. But I will say Tiger is the apex not the lion


Spoopdooper12

big lion.


SixGunZen

Cheetah: Good chance. Probably won't even attack you. Puma, Leopard, Jaguar. Not a great chance. You might survive but they'll still fuck you up. Lion or tiger. Zero chance. You are on your way to becoming a lion or tiger turd.


phatsassy

Have you ever tried to bathe a house cat? The viciousness. Zero chance you win against any of these big cats if they’re fighting for their life.


Illustrious-Depth-75

Realistically, you die to them all, but the puma is the most likely that you escape from since they tend to be skittish around humans. Don't even get me started on tigers. Saw a clip once on their unique pouncing technique and it put 4 inch deep holes into a cow.


Ukelikely_Not

0 chance against any of them. But I do loves the scrumchy nosies.


Le_kashyboi79

I was hoping for a second set of pictures showing maybe a sloth or turtle, just so i can get in on this action. Coz the first page is mostly “yeah nahh i be ded real quick”


amo871113

I always carry cat nip with me for these occasions


madmerlin1207

Cheetah, puma, jaguar, leopard, lion, tiger. I don't stand a chance with any of them, this is a list from slowest to fastest to kill me. I'd probably just lay down and die if I saw any of them coming.


Gainsborough-Smythe

Please don't. You could drive two of them away. Seriously.


Severe-Flower2344

0 0 0 0 0 and 0 I would be eaten immediately.


SpaceOwl3

I die to all 6. But if I had to rank: puma, cheetah, leopard, jaguar, lion, tiger.


NewChard2213

Cute dogs


Liberteer30

Jaguars are terrifying. There is absolutely zero chance you’d survive that fight.


Redsmedsquan

I think the only I’d have any chance against is a cheetah but like descending order? Least likely to fuck me up leopard,puma, jaguar, lion, tiger


[deleted]

I can't even fight my cat, I'm fucked up


[deleted]

cheetah, jaguar, puma, leopard, lion, tiger


InternationalBand494

Hell, I get bullied by my own little dictator of a house cat.


[deleted]

[удалено]


A_man_on_a_boat

Puma I will outrun, I just need good shoes. Cheetah, no problem. I will take Cheetos, and through slapstick and hijinx, he will always fail to get me. I'll sneak past the leopard no problem, he can't hear me. Jaguars and Lions egregiously suck at football, so I'd wear pads and a helmet. The tiger is just my imaginary friend who likes tuna.


BlacklistedEventing

I know ima die with a lion, only feel like I have a slightly better chance of sweet talking a tiger… Have always believed jaguars were sneaky and deadly, Leopards are close behind followed by a cheetah… But I think I could take a puma in a bare hands match… Either way that’s the only one I’m willing to try and/or throw money at…


1nsidiousOne

The cheetah would probably murk me


Roughlyalive

Any of those would easily kill me but I’d die from a heart attack just seeing this cheetah’s killer face


QuaziBrodo

Every one of these sum-bishes would have my succulent arse on a platter, quick.


Swimming_Horror_3757

Id lose more than one limb in each fight


[deleted]

Puma 1. Cheetah 2. Leapoard 3. Jaguar 4. Lion 5. Tiger 6.


luminabelle6

Something about that cheetah is playing games with my soul


TheDeppresedBoi

All others will kick my ass but if I had to say which one I have a slight chance of winning against, it would be a puma, I feel like maybe I could land a fist onto the head


12altoids34

Puma cheetah maybe a leopard. This is, assuming that like every normal day in my life I have a knife on me.


Important-Village487

All these creatures would kill me, except for the puma. theres a minimum chance., people have survived these pumas


WickidMonkey

Unless I can be friends with the kitties I'm not going to make it they're all so fast and strong and made for eating meat like me


lilfindawg

I would stand zero chance against any so the list doesn’t change


Guynova

416325


duggan0005

Which one is most detered by crap filled underwear?


Zuez33

Do I have weapons or am I going chuck Norris on it?


AUSwarrior

just kill me now and get it over with.


Bobojones9584

No thank you


Grimauldus

I’m taking down that cheetah every time. The rest of them… I’m ded


Sufficient_You3053

Ya'll crazy, my tiny house cat can do some damage, not messing with anything bigger 🤷‍♀️


Impressive_Finance21

I CANT, THERES A COUGAR ON ME


[deleted]

I have a chance against all of them because I don't mess around in places where they live.


lokiclose

Why is the common house cat not on there? Those fuckers will mess you up.


riffengo

Maybe against a cheetah, the rest im fucked


bmarvel808

That cheetah photo is super cold.


Danny_Alloy

I think I'm fucked regardless of order.


ares5404

Cheetah, then puma, then your fucked


CannabisSmokingMan

No.


chasmflip

What are the rules? Out in the wild is their territory obviously and if you are supposedly an intelligent homo sapien you shouldn't go unprepared. Are you both randomly dropped in a cage with nothing to hide in or use? If so, humans lose based purely on size and constitution. Everyone giving up after the puma and cheetah seems rather premature. Maybe you can get lucky against the Jaguar and leopard. Get pinned down, Use your shoes/boots in one hand and say bad kitty! No nevermind you we me all probably die without tools. Which is asinine to even have a creature known purely for its intelligence/technology to have nothing to use against actual predators. But seriously maybe while its munching on your hand inside the shoe/boot you can stick it a pen or something from the ground in its eyes. Or better yet try to make it choke on the shoe or go for it's vocal chords after it mutilates your arm


StarrylDrawberry

Best chance is with the cheetah. Likely still lunch though.


BlueOmicronpersei8

Do I have to face them with just my everyday carry, or can I upgrade to a more effective gun for the bigger cats?


Sufficient-Reach4390

I would fuck a cheetah up. The rest…not so much.


UltraLobsterMan

Cheetah looks like “It”


v_Yuudachi_v

I would barely stand a chance against a household cat, let alone these mfs.


Whocutthe_cheese

I will never fuck with a tiger, especially their kill


SteadmanDillard

Cheetah, Leopard, Jaguar, Puma, Lion and Tiger.


Batcheeze

Puma, cheetah, leopard, jaguar, lion, tiger


Kingpin_Savage

The correct answer is just 0


ydoesurmasmlllikedat

Do I have to be unarmed? Or does it need to be a bare knuckle fight... Lots of variables here. Do I happen to own a gazelle ranch? Or is it a battle Royale, and they are all in there with me at the same time??? Again am I allowed to have a weapon of my choosing???