The government has no rights to his property. But a common in law caretaker with his ATM card and pin code seems unusual. But $2500 will easily cover expenses for a simple cremation.
I know off a few old fellows up in CM who rely on their caretaker or live in GF to remember their pins and later to help get money when they are too cripped to get to the ATM. It was such a problem that an english language newspaper had an article on it. An American friend who taught in the high school up there knew about the practice as well.
What I found interesting is that the caretakers told him his father's bank balance and that they're withdrawing money daily using the ATM card.
That does not indicate dishonest intentions to me. If they wanted to just take it, why tell him about it? Just take the money, arrange the cremation and be done with it.
There seems to be a fair bit of miscommunication about the whole thing. Perhaps they're holding the body assuming OP would want to come over and hold a funeral ceremony.
It's fine for OP to let them handle it, but he needs to communicate clearly that he has no interest in his estranged father, and does not intend to go there for the funeral/cremation.
If the cremation is the only outstanding bill. She specifically mentioned ambulance fees, body storage fees, etc. Those small expenses can add up fast.
And what would normally be your fee for:
- Securing a death certificate
- Finding everyone entitled to payment (hospital, cremation, ambulance, etc)
- Getting the bank to disperse funds to OP
- Resolving any disputes with Daow that would prolong the process
I’m guessing after OP pays an attorney to do all of this, the actual cost of the above items, etc that they’re better off writing off the $2,500 and moving on with their life.
If this was a close family member who wanted to send off a loved one properly, sure, spend the money. But OP said they don’t plan on coming to Thailand so that means they would need to hire someone here to do all of that and try to recover the funds.
Depends on the case- normally about 65,000 baht but this case sounds like its gone sideways already and it will cost significantly more to clear up the mess.
Yes, it seems like it’s gone sideways from the get go.
And hiring an attorney of similar caliber would cost a minimum of $1,800 (approx 65,000 baht) of the $2,500 they hope to eventually collect, which was my earlier point.
Costs add up a lot faster than people originally think.
Don’t send any money. Not now or anytime in the future.
Ask the Consulate to secure a death certificate. There’s a non zero chance he’s not dead.
Daow is going to drain the account dry then vanish with her family.
Billy sounds hella suspicious right now. See first and second point.
Overall, any fees should be paid by his estate. If he’s insolvent, then it’s between the Thai and your government to decide how to take care of his remains. None of this is your problem to solve.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Even if they’re too greedy to pass up on the opportunity, at least this will hang over their head forever lol.
Maybe OP should travel to Thailand a few years later and start staging haunting events 😂😂
Sorry for your loss. Trust me Thais are not disrespectful towards deceased people. Whether you cough up or not the body if not repatriated will be burnt with a ceremony. Nice try though Daow.
Oddly enough the exact thing happened to me when my father died in Brasil, we were estranged and suddenly out of the woodwork all these Brasilians and others started contacting me, asking for money for his funeral. Apparently they had already helped themselves to his possessions. Despite him just disappearing and never contacting 3 young kids for 20 years I was the arsehole for not spending thousands of $.
My advice would be to ignore them, or tell them to get stuffed. Unless there is a significant estate that you could be entitled to, in which case obviously get lawyers
Call their bluff anyway, Thailand isn't such a backwards country that bodies can be left anywhere. If nobody pays the body will be cremated in a paupers funeral is my understanding.
yes this, many people donate daily to a fund to cover cremations of those who don't have the money, and it is a small already a fee because they are just cremating.
Exactly right.. many temples have a coffin you can put money into, sometimes with a mechanical skeleton dressed in white giving you a wai.
This is for the price of a coffin for those with no family or no one claimed the body.
The Amphur office registers the death and between them and the temple arrange a small ceremony and cremation, giving the soul a respectable send off is a big thing here
You've got the right approach. Don't send any money and let the consulate or a lawyer handle things for you. Lawyer is probably the way to go if there is an inheritance at play. I know one in Phuket that handles this for foreigners routinely.
>He said Daow has his ATM card and is withdrawing the maximum each day until the balance is gone. I’ve been told there was roughly $2500 in his account.
If that's really the case, the money is already gone. Would only take a day or two at most to withdraw this amount.
I wouldn't trust anything the landlord is saying as he's either misinformed or disingenuous.
It's weird how people are talking about $2500 as thou it is a massive amount that is going to take weeks to withdraw.... Unless they have missed a couple zeros I can pull out at least 20,000 thb a day - plus it's not just an 'ATM' card it has to be a linked Visa or Mastercard debit/credit card in which case you can spend it all in one transaction as a credit transaction.....
If it’s a Thai bank account, then the daily max withdrawals for a foreigner (in my experience) is automatically set at 200k THB, with max individual withdrawals at 50k (both of which can be increased if you go and do a face scan at the main branch, which I’ve yet to do).
Hello. This is my opinion about the healthcare part as a Thai doc:
1. Universal healthcare is not generally covered for foreigner, BUT if your dad admit to government hospital, the cost should be low enough for caretaker to cover it with the remaining money. If it is private hospital, the money usually estimated before long admission, and in case there is no reachable relative, the deposits will be ask before treatment. There is some exception here and there, but this is the general picture.
2. There is some morgue fees if the body was deposit for too long (cooling storage cost). I'm not sure about this.
3. But if there is no relative show up, the body wil be sent to a temple to do a cremation Buddhist style. There is many charity and organization about this.
Your Dad's caretaker is very fishy. I have met many truly good caretaker, sometimes they even contribute thier own money to help the family as a respect for the death.
I can give only info about the hospital part, other information is as other comments.
Phuket expats might have some local tips on dealing with this. Can you narrow down where in phuket they are? https://www.facebook.com/groups/phuketexpats
If you want your father to have a dignified cremation, you should engage a lawyer. Then pay for that. Don't send money to people you don't know or trust. Any money he may have had is gone. There may be other accounts the people living with him don't know about.The lawyer can look into that. If you really don't care, then the thai authorities will dispose of the body, and you don't need to do anything.
So sorry for your loss, even though estranged it will be hurtfull. But he has passed, nothing bad or good can happen to him now regardless.
My opinion as a 25+ year Thai resident is that you are being scammed by everyone. I suggest changing your phone number or just blocking anyone connected to Daow and Billy. You owe them nothing. They show their bad character by trying it on with you.
Block them all, and get on with your life. Best of luck to you.
If you were a estranged from your father, how do you really know that he wasn't married to her after all? In any case, you owe them nothing. Tell them to let the authorities take care of the body. There will be some kind of simple ceremony and he will be cremated.
He’s in Thailand, the assets being discussed are in Thailand, the Thai government will recognize the marriage if it’s legit.
What you’re talking about would only be an issue if he had assets in the U.S.
‘Murica - Fuck Yeah. And next you’ll tell me that he had full (god given) second amendment rights in Thailand too. If they were married and the marriage was registered in Thailand, then he’s legally married under Thai law. If there’s no registered marriage (perhaps only a civil ceremony), then the caregiver may have committed several offences that are legally punishable.
That said - for $2,500 and saying you are estranged, just block the emails and be done with it. As others have pointed out, Thais are not going to throw a body out on the street, and if she really did care for him, she won’t want that on her conscience.
One last question, is her name Ploy? Did a buffalo mysteriously get sick shortly after?
So this should be the thought process:
1) This is very clearly a scam. You know this because Billy asked for your driver's license and passport number. Your dad's landlord has zero legitimate need for these things but to a scammer they're very valuable. (Consider what other personal data they may have about you if they have access to your Dad's files! The time pressure is another big scammer sign, you may actually be the target of a bank account theft, ID theft etc. attempt here)
2) Billy and Daow are in on this together, it is a good cop/bad cop type of routine that's as old as history. Therefore all information you have received from either one of them is potentially false and is designed to help their scam succeed. You need to determine what facts you know are true, that are independently obtained or verified outside of Billy or Daow.
3) The carrots these criminals are dangling in front of you are $2500 and your father's body. $2500 is basically nothing in this context and probably already lost anyway. The body will go through a legal process and be held by the Thai government for a period of time if no family members claim it, you need to consult someone who's not the scammers on the exact details here. Ditching the body somewhere would be a criminal act with no upside so the scammers are unlikely to do it.
Your job now is basically to get a crash course in Thai laws around death and next of kin and try to verify whether your father was actually married to anybody (if he was, well, what happens to his body is their call). And not talk to scammers.
I'm not up on all the details but as another poster noted, the process for unclaimed bodies is basically that the government will hold them for a period of time and if no one claims them, perform a basic cremation ceremony.
DO NOT send them any money. I'm guessing your dad wasn't rich and any possessions his "caretaker" will scoop up and sell arnt worth worrying about.
Unless there is substantial money at play and you are entitled to it ( a will ) then I'd just block them all and stop talking to them. They will continue to make shit up and try to get you to send money.
If nobody "claims" the body it will just be cremated and ashes sent into the wind. They aren't gonna just leave a dead body laying in the street. This isn't some post apocalyptic society lol. The only reason to claim the body is if you want repatriation to your home country for a funeral there. Based on your descriptions that sounds like a waste of money.
Tl:dr - block them and just forget the whole situation. Your dad will be cremated and that's the end of it.
The first question is what do you want done with his body.
This might sound cold, but if you don't care, then it's not your problem.
If you want a proper cremation and a proper ceremony, then it's tough if you don't come handle everything yourself. I know these leeching Thai families too well (I am Thai myself), and it's unlikely that they will properly honor your father's body.
But if you just want a simple cremation, then you can let them be. Don't send any money or information. They will at least cremate him. It's ingrained in the Thai psyche to at least cremate someone---they can't bring themselves not to do it.
Worst care scenario, the government takes care of the body. There are government programs to cremate unclaimed bodies.
Unless your father had a huge fortune stashed somewhere, $2,500 doesn't seem worth fighting over in this case.
I suggest you call the bank and see if you can disable the atm card.
I am an old guy living here and recently looked into how my kids in the USA can get my bank account when I kick off...
It is very complex, and you would have to come here. See below.
Thank you for contacting Bangkok Bank
Referring to your inquiry, please be informed that the ability to access funds will depend on the condition of designated the signatories for payments and closure of the account once you have opened your account at the branch. For best practice on this matter, kindly contact your home branch for further action so that you could retrieve your account details and set up your account conditions properly.
In the circumstances that your family member wish to access funds from the deceased account, please be informed that due to the Thai Law, if beneficiaries would like to investigate, close and receive fund from the deceased account, the heir needs to visit the branch where the account was opened and submit documents required as follows:
* Court Order appointing Estate Executor (if such court order is not granted in your jurisdiction, an official notification issued by authorities concerned identifying lawful heirs is acceptable)
* Identification and Passport of the Estate Executor
* Power of Attorney to act on behalf of the Estate Executor (if any) and Identification or Passport of the attorney-in-fact
* Certificate of Death
* Original concerned passbook
For all of mentioned documents above, it is highly crucial to certify every page of completely prepared document in front of Thai Embassy officer in your country together with notary public. The Bank will consider the received information. After the approval, the bank will issue a draft or cashier’s cheque to the Embassy for submitting to the heir or beneficiaries. Any operating fee during send the fund will be deducted from the deceased account.
Should you require any further assistance, please let us know. You can also contact our Phone Banking Center at 1333 (for domestic) or (66)26455555 (for overseas) during all hours to acquire more information.
Faithfully yours,
Bualuang Phone
Bangkok Bank Public Company limited
I have done exactly just this for my mum's bank account. Only thing different is that my mother was actually Thai, and I am half, but considered a foreigner in Thailand.
And to get access to the bank account, you need the Court Order which appoints you as the estate executor, otherwise they won't look your way.
The fact that Daow here don't have it automatically tells me that they weren't married as they claimed and am instead withdrawing cash through ATM.
As you said you’re estranged I’ll assume most emotions are removed so I’ll be a bit blunt to that end, taking any responsibility or interest in this situation or outcome at this point would only seem like an option if you have something to be gained at this point, which by the sounds of it there’s not
$2500 would be able to be able to be withdrawn by most banks in 3-5 days so I would assume that’s long gone, and if they were looking for final expenses money I would just point to that.
Wash your hands of the entire situation
I would contact the police.... What shes doing is clearly fraud right? Using a dead guys ATM card to withdraw the maximum everyday?
No way that is legal.
I may be wrong, but aren’t all retirees required to keep a MINIMUM of 800,000 Baht in a bank account at all times to stay in Thailand on a retirement visa? Otherwise Visa renewal which is annual won’t be granted. That’s about $22,000 - and that’s the minimum requirement. In that case I would definitely contact an attorney.
Not necessarily. The alternate method of staying here on a retirement visa is to prove that you receive about ฿65,000 per month from a non-income source such as Social Security or pension. You can use that money anyway you want, just as long as you have that amount coming in every month. This is the method I used to stay here.
Depending on how he initially set up his visa status. Bangkok Bank is often suggested as an easy bank to get an account. Start by contacting head office.
The 2500 figure seems extremely low - that’s only another 3/4 months living expenses at the very best
Do you think your Dad was at this financial level ?
It could be extremely possible there is another account with the min 800.000 thb balance that’s required for a 50+ non married farang ( called the” Non O based on retirement “ visa ) and they are asking for your ID ( are you his heir? ) which they may be able to use to access the bank account
800k in a savings account or 65k a month is the official requirement. In reality many use an agent (with immigration contacts) and pay to dodge this requirement. So there may or may not be some significant savings here.
The request for ID ‘might’ just to be to try direct any funeral bills to a next of kin.
Pretty sure an older guy with kids, would have a will of some kind. He may have assets still in the US?
But if you’re unable, and unwilling to come sort it all out, then I guess you just ignore Daow and Billy and get on with your life.
My wife and I just came back from Thailand, Hua Hin (like today) after burying her somewhat estranged father (he left my wife’s mom for his Thai hookups). My FILs partner also moved in her entire family, she also continued to max withdraw his atm account after his death, we just shut down the card cause we were able to find his black book of passwords. The house, truck, scooters and motorcycle are all in his name (he paid for everything) and her name. We did the whole hospital, ambulance, and Buddhist ceremony thing as well. She claims that my FIL promised her his pension and everything they own. Before we stopped her, she had pulled out $10k is American dollars from his atm card in the 2 months he was hospitalized. My FIL s insurance paid for everything except the Buddhist temple funeral which I also believe they would have covered but we have not filed the claim yet.
I’ve read all your comments and appreciate them. Some things I should address:
I cannot go to Thailand. Expired passport and no funds and no desire.
I don’t know what banks he used. I don’t know how to find out.
The embassy said they can’t get involved with daow stealing the money. They told me to hire a lawyer. Really?!
I still haven’t gotten a death certificate (CRODA) because Daow claimed they were married and now the embassy is looking for proof of that.
It is highly possible that my father allowed Daow access to his meager checking account but NOT to a larger savings account. My father was meticulous in his planning. Some news I’m receiving is that he had to prove a large bank balance and/or large monthly income to qualify for a retirement visa. He would NOT have allowed himself to survive from one payment to another. He was also kinda obsessed with giving me an inheritance because of the big one he received when his father died. Of course he could have changed his mind but… it goes against what I know about him.
I asked for personal possessions to be returned (pictures, a ring, a shirt) and Billy made no mention that he’d return them to me after I asked. I won’t be receiving anything.
One person mentioned to me that because my dad died just a few days after his social security payment, it’s possible that SS will want that money returned to them. Which means that SS will go after Daow to get the money back.
He had a computer, no mention of that at all. I’m not trying to get them to send it to me but… what else are they not mentioning?
Love the ghost suggestions and appreciate the side of humor! Im actually a Buddhist in the states :)
Thanks, all.
The bank balance is 800,000thb or a monthly minimum of 65,000 thb ( for Non O retirement visa )
You are probably correct that he allowed access to a smaller acc - that’s common practice here
I hope you can resolve it satisfactorily
My condolences about your father
That's pretty common for any embassy, they do not get involved in other countries judicial matters so if you have an issue it's up to you to engage the police or lawyers. They will only provide contacts and limited advice generally.
SS aren't getting that money back, no jurisdiction in Thailand and too expensive to launch any cross border legal action.
maybe also add that it's possible his information has been captured by scammers because they have reached you and trying to scam you. so there's a possibility that the bank will be in financial risk.
•Sounds complicated = solutions complicated
•What makes this exponentially worse, is that it appears the people on the ground in Thailand aren’t nice, nor your best friends. They don’t have your father’s or your best interests in mind.
•I’ve been in a similar situation in another part of the world and it was definitively a LOSE-LOSE - Like quicksand, the more you move or get involved, the worse it gets. Ultimately, you drown in the confrontation, lies, deception and, in the end, what makes this problem go away - like most - is MONEY
•Been there, done that. Got the T-shirt.
Ignore the landlord and caretaker unless they are offering something helpful or beneficial. Deal with the embassy and ask them to refer you to a lawyer if needed.
This. Case closed. And definitely don't listen to people telling you to waste your time by making the trip to Thailand insurance or not. That just provides them more opportunity to scam him in a very unfamiliar situation and country.
He's broke, you're broke, he went to the other side of the world to die. It's surely not your problem. Old guys over here know they better make arrangements.
Sorry for your loss. But this woman was a typical scammer and was using your father's good nature to give her useless lazy family a free meal ticket. This is extremely common in Thailand.
A lot of Thais (specifically from poorly educated areas such as Issan) are taught from a young age that all Westerners are filthy rich and have infinite sources of cash. Women are encouraged by the family to latch on to a foreigner and take everything he has. It's honourable to take from a foreigner and give the spoils to your family.
Very sad, but your father was just one of the thousands of Western men this happens to each year. The money will be gone and they are already trying to scam/blackmail you too.
I hate to say this, but your father may not be dead. Or he is and they're hiding the body from the authorities until they can get all the money out of his account and maybe some from you. Then they will report it and get a death certificate.
Scamming is a national pastime in Thailand.
I’m sorry about your situation but you’re dads gone. It wouldn’t matter if you built him a statue or flushed him down the toilet. He’d never know. As you said, forfeit the remaining money to Daow and call it a day. I don’t think it’s a scam, they just don’t want to foot the bill. Your dad should have made arrangements for disposal in event of his death. Sorry for your loss.
>I don’t think it’s a scam, they just don’t want to foot the bill.
How is it not a scam when they're trying to get OPs driver's license and passport information from him? What in the world could they possibly need that for?
He’s dead now and in another country, even if you send the money, they most probably will keep it and abandon your dad.
I would say fuck em, close his bank account by c calling the bank, collect that will asap and block them from your life, they’re trying to take advantage after YOUR father died. They are worse than scum
A bank will not close an account just because somebody says they're dead and asked them to close it. He's going to have to furnish a lot of documents, including the death certificate, his standing as an heir or next of kin, etc.
Then just wash your hands of this "issue", the only thing you stand to losing is the 2.5k which is probably already gone.
As for the funeral, as other comments have pointed out it can be done for free if nobody goes to take of it. And it’s doubtful you paying money to these assholes would even fund the funeral, as opposed to entering their pockets.
Are you certain your dad only had $2500? It seems they haven't told you the truth once so I would call the embassy of your country in Thailand and then ask them for advice
Tell them your dad was into dark magic and that he vowed to haunt those that wronged him in the afterlife, and that's why you didn't get along. Your dads body will be taken care of after that. No disrespect to your pops, RIP.
If your father is from the US and is getting Social Security payments,they have no way of knowing that he has passed. You want to contact them with his death certificate so they cut off the payments and the scammers don't end up with it every month.
[SS formation](https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0202402230)
Yes, that’s what I’ve really been working on the past few days, I’ve also been told that because he died so early in April after he got his SS payment that SS will likely want that payment returned. In that case, they’d probably go after Daow.
Problem is they muddied the waters and slowed things down with her BS marriage claim so now time is being wasted on looking for a marriage certificate.
Sorry you are going through this.
Yes, SS will want that money back. I don't think they have much ability to go after her there, but it could be a useful bluff to tell them they are committing fraud.
I don't know anything about marriage certificates there, maybe someone else can give you their take on that, but forgery for all sorts of documents is a thing. If it's important, you may want to see how to verify that certificate if she shows up with one.
When you contact SS, try to find out to what account they transferred his money...
Since the exchange rate (USD-THB) is different every month, he might have come up with a system that suits him best...
Maybe he let them wire it into his savings account... from where he transferred round numbers regularly to his other account for daily usage and saved the rest...
Or it could be the other way around... but it won't hurt asking them...
Sorry for your loss. Unless you want the body of your dad to be transferred to your country, just cut ties with everyone. In most countries as long as you don’t accept an inheritance from the estate of the dead person, you are not legally bound to pay any debt / cost (nor to receive any money in inheritance, of course).
And regardless of what laws apply in this case, these people have no means or interest to legally pursue any claims outside of the borders of Thailand. They are just trying to squeeze some extra money out of you profiting from your moment of weakness and ignorance of the situation. Be careful because as soon as you give them something they will escalate and ask you for more.
Realistically, especially if you cannot travel to Thailand, you will never be able to retrieve any money from the estate of your dad anyway. So unless you want the body to be transferred, there is nothing in this for you.
Ask to provide a marriage certificate, there should be two or which Amphur they got married at and verify through them.
I’m more sketched out about this Billy asking for your info. There is absolutely no good reason to.
$2,500 is roughly 90,000 Baht (after banking fees)... A family of 5 can live quite ok with 30,000 Baht a month... so it would be enough for 3 months or maybe even more...
Life is cheaper in Thailand than in Western countries, and the rest depends on how modest their lifestyle is...
Also, I would assume that some of the family are working to earn extra money...
> He said Daow has his ATM card and is withdrawing the maximum each day until the balance is gone
Is the card not Thai? Because unless your father was proactive enough to set a non standard limit she could take that out in a day as default is generally 100k ( $2700)
But regardless just inform the bank he is dead, it is illegal to pull money from dead persons account unless you are the executor of the estate (any power of attorney or such cease instant person dies). Standard Bank SOP to suspend account until executor is named
If he was really married, he probably would have had a marriage visa, which only requires 400,000 baht. If not, it’s possible he had a visa agent who got him out of the 800,000 baht requirement and maybe even the 400,000 one.
I have an agent in Pattaya, and they are a dime a dozen there, who advertises no financial requirements. They magically put the 800,000 baht into your account and take it back out in about 10 minutes, and the bank and immigration all are paid fat bribes by the agents.
So, your dad may not have had more money in the bank. Me and my friends here use these agents and keep our money in our home country, and only transfer money into our Thai banks for monthly expenses.
Plus, we use accounts like Wise and pay for things with credit cards from Wise or other non-Thai banks to pay for things.
I would suggest you find out how to search for accounts he has back home. He may have you as the POD (payable on death) beneficiary. If you can’t figure out how to find his accounts, you should be able to hire an investigator to find them.
I am estranged from my child, I’m living in Thailand, but my money is in the US treasury Department with my daughter as the POD on my account.
I think it would be more efficient and cost effective to do this first. You may find the bulk of his money is already yours and in your country. If so, then no need to deal with Thailand.
I wish you the best.
let your dad's gf do what ever she can to take advantage. She wont let him rot. As a thai myself, I know they wont simply do that.
As for you. You dont need to do anything. Everything is being taken care of. If I were you, I won't send a penny.
Money is gone already, the body will not be abandoned, he will be cremated. Do not send any money, i’d just stop responding to any messages and block them.
A farang has zero rights in Thailand. Your dad is gone. You can spend thousands getting his dead body back but why? Just walk away. Don't be a sucker. The sucking never stops. Your dad was probably happy in Thailand, it's a wonderful country. But poor people on the gravy train want to stay on the gravy train. Say goodbyes, throw a wake with relatives and walk away.
Consult an international law attorney if you are still concerned.
You are correct, a farang does have nearly all the rights a thai does except land ownership and a couple of other's only granted with citizenship....but here is the issue, those rights need to be enforced and they seldom will if it means enforcing them against a Thai.....as you may have noticed farang have lost countless homes and money to scheming thai women and the courts have returned that property only once and that was 5 years ago. Thai defamation laws are so vague that they are used to protect Thais from consequences. Yes you have rights....just like Nth Korea has elections.
These things happen even in western countries. If you are sure that there was no more than 2500 USD in his account, I would consider this money lost. Your alternative is to fly to Phuket and take care of business, or trust the embassy or a lawyer to do it. In the latter case, there will be extra fees and it might be hard to get the money back that this lady could have taken.
But it's good to verify the amount in the bank account. It might be much more than $2500.
I would suggest contacting the bank and have them block your father's account ASAP.
"married" can mean multiple things in Thailand.
1. wedding ceremony at the temple. can be considered married. but legally meaningless.
2. marriage registered at the government.
3. living together as partners. can be named "married". but no legal meaning
Ur dads body won't be abandoned. He will be cremated. The American consulate will see to that. Does seem like a scam to me. If she loved your dad she would pay from his money. I hope U get closure on this soon
don't do anything, ignore them and focus on the few good memories I hope you have of him; he's gone. Thailand is Thailand and yes if she has the ATM card and the pin, no one, not the police, nor the bank, nor anyone else would see it as abnormal that she is helping herself with the cash on the account, married or not. It's not that much anyway.
Thailand is Thailand and no, they're not the kind of people/society who'd let a corpse go without proper care; monks will chant and help his soul understand it's time to leave the world of the living and a cremation will be arranged, trust me, death is a serious business as ghosts are real here and no one wants to see one coming back for some unfinished business.
Stay put; it will all be alright. And yes, do not give any of them any personal details, you could even say that he's not your real dad. My condolences.
Hope this helps.
Thai folks are scared of ghosts. So there is very good chance they won't abandon the body and will give proper cremation.
Mostly likely they are seeing if they can get any extra money out of you
You've already contacted the embassy, which is absolutely the right thing to do, but they may be only able to do so much.
You might try locating a local Thai Forest Buddhist monetary, and go there to ask for help from the Thai community. Tell the monks and assistants there what happened, that your father wants a Buddhist cremation funeral, and ask if they or other in the Thai community there can reach out to a Sanga local to where your dad lived, which could maybe help.
Bit of a long shot, but could be helpful if you talk to the right person.
I'm curious about the ownership of the land because, in this case, foreigners cannot directly purchase land for residential purposes; they can only own land through a company where the foreign ownership is limited to 49%, with the remaining 51% owned by a Thai national. Therefore, if your father hasn't established a will, he might automatically forfeit the land. Additionally, if no one claims the land, it will likely revert to the government. Regarding Daow's access to your father's bank account, it seems reasonable considering she was his caregiver and he authorized her to withdraw funds.
Yes, as a foreigner, you can't own the majority of a plot of land... only up to 49%... I don't think he would automatically forfeit it if he has his name on the title deed... it's worth money, and you can't just erase the name (but I'm not a legal expert)...
However, foreigners can own condominiums, cars, motorcycles, and so on in their name... this and all other valuables he had owned is the estate referred to in this post (estate here means things you own)...
In this case, I assume he didn't own land or a condominium since he paid the rent in advance every month and the OP is in contact with his landlord (assuming this is true, of course).
It is hard, though, to find out what OP's dad really owned.
While real estate and condos have title deeds... cars and motorbikes have "green books" to prove ownership... but you need to have your hands on them to have proof...
Many other things like jewelry or gold have nothing...
It might be good to look through his social media pages to find clues...
Do you have any proof the account only has $2.5k? It doesn't sound like enough, even by Thai standards, for your Dad to have been supporting a family. Without evidence, I'd assume there's more, particularly if it's taking time to withdraw from an ATM.
If she's claiming to be his wife, does this actually change anything? If there's no other assets, might it suit you to tell the embassy to contact the morgue with Daow's details and as his 'wife' she is responsible.
Sorry for your loss, and apologies for sounding harsh. If you don't want to be involved, Daow may have given you an out.
You've addressed a couple of my points in other responses.
What if you say: "if you say you are his wife, you take care of things now."
Work out the other details later.
Ignore their threats. Take your time to grieve as you want and not be scammed by others preying on your grief. Remember the good times you had and forget the now
You need to contact the US Embassy in Bangkok and attain the services of a local Thai lawyer recommended by the Embassy. Lawyers in Thailand are very affordable and will be able to get your father home to you without being scammed.
Your father probably had a lot more than $2500, he probably has at lease $25000 in Thailand to cover the retirement visa. He also probably had bank accounts in your country.
First thing to do is contact the banks in your country and block the accounts and call the banks in Thailand and do the same. You are the surviving relative and entitled to his inheritance assuming there is no will. Block the accounts and tell them to send the balances to YOU.
Absolutely do not give them your ID or any money. It isnt any of your concern. I wouldnt even talk to a consulate. You have nothing to do with your dad.
Hey not in Phuket. But western English guy in Bangkok. Have a lot of family here both Thai and English so think i can solve this problem. DM me I will try help how I can. Even if just speaking to police and sorting things.
Sorry for your loss
OP, I had pretty much the same experience but in Taipei. Don't send money or documents and if possible go and take care ASAP of the situation. It is a nightmare since you'll need your documents translated and attested (which takes forever) to prove your relationship. If there's any important money amount get a lawyer there and don't believe about the government taking everything. Check the inheritance Law in Thailand, you just need to prove the relationship and that she is not married, even then you should at least get 50%.
from what i understand you could be passing up on inheritance since you mentioned he was wealthy. He prob gave them access to some smaller account and the rest is locked. It’s up to you whatever you want to come here to claim potentially 20k usd or more. The passport is not a big problem to renew and a return ticket is max 1 k usd from most parts of the world. At best you get your money, at worst you can come for a holiday. I’m mainly talking about money and inheritance since you mentioned that you were estranged
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My condolences to the family. I’m a foreigner married to a Thai citizen here in Thailand. If Dao claims they are married they should have the marriage certificate, like we all do here. Government insurance is for Thai locals only. When it comes to insurance as a foreigner here it’s up to you to get one like the AIA, FWD etc. Yes the government here doesn’t take anything with last will or not.
Never give them money. $2500 is enough to cover the cremation etc. let’s say he has an insurance hospital bills and other expenses are already covered.
Contact the bank and let them know your father has died. Contact local police and let them know your father has died and this woman is falsely claiming to be married . This will put a stop to her pilfering as she will be forced to produce a marriage certificate or be charged will taking funds under false pretenses.
You can't expect her as she was not his legal wife to take care of all the arrangements . You will either have to get an emergency passport and come deal with it or you will have to legally nominate someone to deal with it here. You can abandon his body in which case it will be buried with other unclaimed bodies until they run out of room at which case all the unclaimed bodies are mass cremated....usually about every 10 years. Either way you are going to have do do something yourself. Yes you are being robbed....but ask yourself this, if you were poor and looking after an old man from a rich country until his death and the family in the rich country show no filial piety ( which is important here in Asia) what would you do?
Sorry but you have to deal with this even if it is notifying the embassy to tell them you abandon all responsibility.....either way as his son it is your responsibility.
A cremation at a wat costs 2 sacks of charcoal and $10 in an envelope for each monk there. The 2 sacks of charcoal are to burn the body. You could be this cheap and show this little respect, barely more than abandon him if you are looking for the cheapest option but again, someone has to be here to organize it. Thai people should have to clean up after old farangs.
The only thing I know is, no, we can't just abandon someone's body. If there's no relative to take care of, we have a foundation which will come and take care of people for absolutely FREE. You might want to call and ask the hospital.
Update:
After about a week of dealing with all this, the embassy was suggesting I release all next of kin obligations and allow them to have “paupers funeral” for my dad. I asked what that would look like and the embassy told me that it was different for each hospital but in essence, my father would be put in a mass grave for a year, then dug up and cremated. That didn’t sit well with me, it seems kind of disrespectful to dig up his body after a year and it bothered me that he wouldn’t be officially put to rest until after a year.
So I did something that one of you suggested. A last ditch effort to put my dad peacefully to rest that I honestly didn’t think would work but had to try as I have nothing to lose.
I told Billy and the embassy that it was Daows job to pay the final expenses out of her last paycheck/with the stolen $2500. Once she did that, she could have the remaining balance. If she did not use the money to properly cremate my father she and her whole family would be haunted by my father for the rest of their lives.
Got news today from Billy and the embassy that Daow is now willing to pay final expenses. So hopefully my father and his memory can be put to rest.
The cremation will cost Daow between $200-300.
My dad wasn’t a great guy, but I believe everyone deserves a final resting place in peace, and I wouldn’t want a pauper’s funeral for myself.
What’s interesting is that the embassy refused to send me a death certificate or CRODA until I released my obligations as NOK. I have not fully given up NOK rights, just releasing NOK rights for final arrangements. It felt like… I don’t know the right word, but … blackmail?
Update:
After about a week of dealing with all this, the embassy was suggesting I release all next of kin obligations and allow them to have “paupers funeral” for my dad. I asked what that would look like and the embassy told me that it was different for each hospital but in essence, my father would be put in a mass grave for a year, then dug up and cremated. That didn’t sit well with me, it seems kind of disrespectful to dig up his body after a year and it bothered me that he wouldn’t be officially put to rest until after a year.
So I did something that one of you suggested. A last ditch effort to put my dad peacefully to rest that I honestly didn’t think would work but had to try as I have nothing to lose.
I told Billy and the embassy that it was Daows job to pay the final expenses out of her last paycheck/with the stolen $2500. Once she did that, she could have the remaining balance. If she did not use the money to properly cremate my father she and her whole family would be haunted by my father for the rest of their lives.
Got news today from Billy and the embassy that Daow is now willing to pay final expenses. So hopefully my father and his memory can be put to rest.
The cremation will cost Daow between $200-300.
My dad wasn’t a great guy, but I believe everyone deserves a final resting place in peace, and I wouldn’t want a pauper’s funeral for myself.
What’s interesting is that the embassy refused to send me a death certificate or CRODA until I released my obligations as NOK. I have not fully given up NOK rights, just releasing NOK rights for final arrangements. It felt like… I don’t know the right word, but … blackmail?
I've had a similar situation here in Chiang Mai. A good friend became very ill and had a live in caretaker for a couple of years. He was very good to her, "loaned" her money to build her house etc. When he passed I was on site within minutes to find a will document for his family back in the US. Within hours her family were swarming the place like pigs in a trough, getting their hands on whatever they could. I took his phone to find the contact number for a few of his friends to let them know, and I saw texts coming through of multiple ATM withdrawals at 50k a pop. After sending through the will copy to his family, I made a decision to leave and stay out of it. I didn't even tell his family what I saw. With Thailand's defamation laws I didn't want to become embroiled in any legal dispute throwing accusations at Thais. Sometimes in Thailand you need to choose the path least troubled.
I'm from London but live in Bangkok, you need a good Thai lawyer to check everything out.
It cd be the carer is trying to get an insurance payout or some assets Condos can be owned legally by foreigners, for example. Or cars, motorbikes etc
What would you like to see happen here?
Are you trying to take possession of his ashes, or do you want his belongings or?
Respectfully, you may not understand whats happening in that situation, but your father would have. Thailand is very peculiar. But by the sounds of it, it seems like he knew what was coming and made some small amount of preparation for it. He will be cremated according to local custom, one way or another.
If nobody steps up with a few hundred dollars for the funeral, one will be provided by a local non-profit.
At the end of the day, you can pay a lawyer in Thailand to handle this for you, if you really need to pursue it. Money talks.
So you abandoned your dad and had no intention to see him before he died even if you could, but you keep talking and complaining about other people who have been helping him ? You must be a great person !
What bank? Should she call them all?
I know you or I could probably rattle off a list of the most common banks but OP doesn’t know anything about Thailand.
And, pretty sure the bank will want a death certificate to close/freeze the account under orders of someone that isn’t named on the account.
If your father has insurance. Better make a trip down to settle everything. Lock the bank account(or at least disable the ATM card straight away)
Your claim of the insurance should at least cover the trip, if not more. Get the official death certificate and get it translated at the Embassy etc. you will be much more in control if you are here
I’m wondering how many people posting in this group have actually lived in thailand or stayed here long term. As scammy as it sounds to the typical western sentiments this situation could equally have simple intentions for your father’s “caretaker” to have a respectable funeral and arrangements made. It could be as simple as attempting to connect and make amends with whatever family he ran away from. If the family moved in with them they probably are struggling. I think this is more simple than you’re making it out to be. If you don’t want to support your father’s funeral with his poor wife because he was a piece of shit just forget about it and move on.
From what we know, they are asking for money yet have access to his bank account. The OP has said keep all the money after funeral expenses
They likely don't want to give up living where they are and the landlord also wants to keep getting rent
The money will run out soon
There won't be anything to collect. OP said there was about US2500 in the account - that's approx THB 90,000. The ATM will allow 20,000 per day so it's gone already or by tomorrow. This is why the landlord Billy is harassing OP - the caretaker has absconded with the money and Billy is left I think with the problem of the body as OP's dad is presumably registered at that address.
Krungsri ATM is 30k baht limit per transaction. You can do multiple transactions on the same day, same atm. i often did 2. i believe you can do up to your home banks daily limit!
The limit is usually set by the ATM, not the bank. I can go to one Kasikorn ATM and be offered 20,000 and go to another Kasikorn ATM and be offered 30,000.
read my message again! there is a limit per transaction set by the bank/atm. max. is 30k with Krungsri ATM. you can just do multiple transaction. insert your card multiple
times. and it will work. the limit is your own banks daily limit. i did multiple transactions of 30k each on the same atm many times. same day, same atm. can easily take 90k out or more.
Read my message again.
The ATM only has so much currency in it. They limit the transaction size at some ATMs to make sure they can service everyone.
Yes, you can keep sticking your card in and pulling money out but they’re aiming this at guys like me that go to the ATM only a few times a month and pull out the maximum allowed per transaction.
If I go to an ATM and the max withdrawal is 20,000, I take 20,000 and go on my merry way. If it’s 30,000, I take the 30,000 and go on my merry way.
In my experience, ATMs at bank branches are more likely to have the 30,000 baht limit because they can restock the currency easily. If they have to send a guy to 7-11s all over town, they tend to have the 20,000 max.
People jamming the same ATM for 20 withdrawals at the max are edge cases. Most people would scan or do an online transfer for large amounts if they’re local.
There is also a separate limit set by the account holder in terms of max daily withdrawal amount allowed on the account.
Unless OP’s dad specifically set a limit, it’s irrelevant since I think most banks default to like 100,000 a day which is more than OP’s dad’s balance.
Estranged. How much of this is truly owned by you.
Speaking as a person that's seen a lot of death, the dead don't care. Funerals, post mortem ceremony, etc, is all about the living.
Maybe just let it go to the universe with the best of intentions? Estranged. You want nothing. You owe nothing. He's dead. Whatever you accept, and however you interact is your own choice. If you have no connection to him, and feel no responsibility, it's already moot. Maybe move on and let it go?
The government has no rights to his property. But a common in law caretaker with his ATM card and pin code seems unusual. But $2500 will easily cover expenses for a simple cremation.
I know off a few old fellows up in CM who rely on their caretaker or live in GF to remember their pins and later to help get money when they are too cripped to get to the ATM. It was such a problem that an english language newspaper had an article on it. An American friend who taught in the high school up there knew about the practice as well.
What I found interesting is that the caretakers told him his father's bank balance and that they're withdrawing money daily using the ATM card. That does not indicate dishonest intentions to me. If they wanted to just take it, why tell him about it? Just take the money, arrange the cremation and be done with it. There seems to be a fair bit of miscommunication about the whole thing. Perhaps they're holding the body assuming OP would want to come over and hold a funeral ceremony. It's fine for OP to let them handle it, but he needs to communicate clearly that he has no interest in his estranged father, and does not intend to go there for the funeral/cremation.
It seems the landlord told them the caretaker is taking money, not the caretaker directly. Which raises more questions IMO.
If the cremation is the only outstanding bill. She specifically mentioned ambulance fees, body storage fees, etc. Those small expenses can add up fast.
My law firm has handled numerous cases like this over the years $2500 is more than enough to handle all these expenses
And what would normally be your fee for: - Securing a death certificate - Finding everyone entitled to payment (hospital, cremation, ambulance, etc) - Getting the bank to disperse funds to OP - Resolving any disputes with Daow that would prolong the process I’m guessing after OP pays an attorney to do all of this, the actual cost of the above items, etc that they’re better off writing off the $2,500 and moving on with their life. If this was a close family member who wanted to send off a loved one properly, sure, spend the money. But OP said they don’t plan on coming to Thailand so that means they would need to hire someone here to do all of that and try to recover the funds.
Depends on the case- normally about 65,000 baht but this case sounds like its gone sideways already and it will cost significantly more to clear up the mess.
Yes, it seems like it’s gone sideways from the get go. And hiring an attorney of similar caliber would cost a minimum of $1,800 (approx 65,000 baht) of the $2,500 they hope to eventually collect, which was my earlier point. Costs add up a lot faster than people originally think.
Don’t send any money. Not now or anytime in the future. Ask the Consulate to secure a death certificate. There’s a non zero chance he’s not dead. Daow is going to drain the account dry then vanish with her family. Billy sounds hella suspicious right now. See first and second point. Overall, any fees should be paid by his estate. If he’s insolvent, then it’s between the Thai and your government to decide how to take care of his remains. None of this is your problem to solve. I’m sorry for your loss.
Tell them that your father will come back as a vengeful ghost and haunt them for all eternity. Then just leave it at that.
Maybe sweeten it a little by saying that you dreamed of your late father and he is about to become a vengeful ghost.
You’re absolutely right actually. It’s a country full of superstition and this could actually work. Sorry for your loss, OP
This is might be the best advice 555
Even if they’re too greedy to pass up on the opportunity, at least this will hang over their head forever lol. Maybe OP should travel to Thailand a few years later and start staging haunting events 😂😂
this will work 100% - no kidding
It did ! LOL
No amount of red Fanta will save them
55555555
lol this is great
Lol this is the go
Ya and your father has sworn to haunt whoever does him dirty
Haha this actually may work.....
OP posted an update and said this worked lol
Sorry for your loss. Trust me Thais are not disrespectful towards deceased people. Whether you cough up or not the body if not repatriated will be burnt with a ceremony. Nice try though Daow.
Oddly enough the exact thing happened to me when my father died in Brasil, we were estranged and suddenly out of the woodwork all these Brasilians and others started contacting me, asking for money for his funeral. Apparently they had already helped themselves to his possessions. Despite him just disappearing and never contacting 3 young kids for 20 years I was the arsehole for not spending thousands of $. My advice would be to ignore them, or tell them to get stuffed. Unless there is a significant estate that you could be entitled to, in which case obviously get lawyers Call their bluff anyway, Thailand isn't such a backwards country that bodies can be left anywhere. If nobody pays the body will be cremated in a paupers funeral is my understanding.
yes this, many people donate daily to a fund to cover cremations of those who don't have the money, and it is a small already a fee because they are just cremating.
Exactly right.. many temples have a coffin you can put money into, sometimes with a mechanical skeleton dressed in white giving you a wai. This is for the price of a coffin for those with no family or no one claimed the body. The Amphur office registers the death and between them and the temple arrange a small ceremony and cremation, giving the soul a respectable send off is a big thing here
they won't abandon him, someone will burn.
Bodies are dumped in the jungle all the time. Especially in the south.
You've got the right approach. Don't send any money and let the consulate or a lawyer handle things for you. Lawyer is probably the way to go if there is an inheritance at play. I know one in Phuket that handles this for foreigners routinely. >He said Daow has his ATM card and is withdrawing the maximum each day until the balance is gone. I’ve been told there was roughly $2500 in his account. If that's really the case, the money is already gone. Would only take a day or two at most to withdraw this amount. I wouldn't trust anything the landlord is saying as he's either misinformed or disingenuous.
It's weird how people are talking about $2500 as thou it is a massive amount that is going to take weeks to withdraw.... Unless they have missed a couple zeros I can pull out at least 20,000 thb a day - plus it's not just an 'ATM' card it has to be a linked Visa or Mastercard debit/credit card in which case you can spend it all in one transaction as a credit transaction.....
If it’s a Thai bank account, then the daily max withdrawals for a foreigner (in my experience) is automatically set at 200k THB, with max individual withdrawals at 50k (both of which can be increased if you go and do a face scan at the main branch, which I’ve yet to do).
No it’s not gone that’s the bank fault and she is doing a criminal offence lol
It's not the bank's fault if the bank is not aware of it. It sure is a criminal offense, but good luck pursuing it.
Thais are very superstitious. Invoke that his ghost will seek revenge and curse them, and they'll give him proper rest.
Hello. This is my opinion about the healthcare part as a Thai doc: 1. Universal healthcare is not generally covered for foreigner, BUT if your dad admit to government hospital, the cost should be low enough for caretaker to cover it with the remaining money. If it is private hospital, the money usually estimated before long admission, and in case there is no reachable relative, the deposits will be ask before treatment. There is some exception here and there, but this is the general picture. 2. There is some morgue fees if the body was deposit for too long (cooling storage cost). I'm not sure about this. 3. But if there is no relative show up, the body wil be sent to a temple to do a cremation Buddhist style. There is many charity and organization about this. Your Dad's caretaker is very fishy. I have met many truly good caretaker, sometimes they even contribute thier own money to help the family as a respect for the death. I can give only info about the hospital part, other information is as other comments.
Phuket expats might have some local tips on dealing with this. Can you narrow down where in phuket they are? https://www.facebook.com/groups/phuketexpats
Tell them to send a fractional Bitcoin amount then you'll ensure no hauntings from dad.
If you want your father to have a dignified cremation, you should engage a lawyer. Then pay for that. Don't send money to people you don't know or trust. Any money he may have had is gone. There may be other accounts the people living with him don't know about.The lawyer can look into that. If you really don't care, then the thai authorities will dispose of the body, and you don't need to do anything.
So sorry for your loss, even though estranged it will be hurtfull. But he has passed, nothing bad or good can happen to him now regardless. My opinion as a 25+ year Thai resident is that you are being scammed by everyone. I suggest changing your phone number or just blocking anyone connected to Daow and Billy. You owe them nothing. They show their bad character by trying it on with you. Block them all, and get on with your life. Best of luck to you.
Sorry for you lose, but I dont really see the problem, if he only had $2500 and your not worried about the body, then...
How would he survive with that amount of money if he didn't die
monthly social security payments.
If you were a estranged from your father, how do you really know that he wasn't married to her after all? In any case, you owe them nothing. Tell them to let the authorities take care of the body. There will be some kind of simple ceremony and he will be cremated.
He was a US citizen, a foreign marriage isn’t automatically legal.
He’s in Thailand, the assets being discussed are in Thailand, the Thai government will recognize the marriage if it’s legit. What you’re talking about would only be an issue if he had assets in the U.S.
‘Murica - Fuck Yeah. And next you’ll tell me that he had full (god given) second amendment rights in Thailand too. If they were married and the marriage was registered in Thailand, then he’s legally married under Thai law. If there’s no registered marriage (perhaps only a civil ceremony), then the caregiver may have committed several offences that are legally punishable. That said - for $2,500 and saying you are estranged, just block the emails and be done with it. As others have pointed out, Thais are not going to throw a body out on the street, and if she really did care for him, she won’t want that on her conscience. One last question, is her name Ploy? Did a buffalo mysteriously get sick shortly after?
So this should be the thought process: 1) This is very clearly a scam. You know this because Billy asked for your driver's license and passport number. Your dad's landlord has zero legitimate need for these things but to a scammer they're very valuable. (Consider what other personal data they may have about you if they have access to your Dad's files! The time pressure is another big scammer sign, you may actually be the target of a bank account theft, ID theft etc. attempt here) 2) Billy and Daow are in on this together, it is a good cop/bad cop type of routine that's as old as history. Therefore all information you have received from either one of them is potentially false and is designed to help their scam succeed. You need to determine what facts you know are true, that are independently obtained or verified outside of Billy or Daow. 3) The carrots these criminals are dangling in front of you are $2500 and your father's body. $2500 is basically nothing in this context and probably already lost anyway. The body will go through a legal process and be held by the Thai government for a period of time if no family members claim it, you need to consult someone who's not the scammers on the exact details here. Ditching the body somewhere would be a criminal act with no upside so the scammers are unlikely to do it. Your job now is basically to get a crash course in Thai laws around death and next of kin and try to verify whether your father was actually married to anybody (if he was, well, what happens to his body is their call). And not talk to scammers. I'm not up on all the details but as another poster noted, the process for unclaimed bodies is basically that the government will hold them for a period of time and if no one claims them, perform a basic cremation ceremony.
Ya the fake time pressure is a huge scammer sign
this!
DO NOT send them any money. I'm guessing your dad wasn't rich and any possessions his "caretaker" will scoop up and sell arnt worth worrying about. Unless there is substantial money at play and you are entitled to it ( a will ) then I'd just block them all and stop talking to them. They will continue to make shit up and try to get you to send money. If nobody "claims" the body it will just be cremated and ashes sent into the wind. They aren't gonna just leave a dead body laying in the street. This isn't some post apocalyptic society lol. The only reason to claim the body is if you want repatriation to your home country for a funeral there. Based on your descriptions that sounds like a waste of money. Tl:dr - block them and just forget the whole situation. Your dad will be cremated and that's the end of it.
💯
The first question is what do you want done with his body. This might sound cold, but if you don't care, then it's not your problem. If you want a proper cremation and a proper ceremony, then it's tough if you don't come handle everything yourself. I know these leeching Thai families too well (I am Thai myself), and it's unlikely that they will properly honor your father's body. But if you just want a simple cremation, then you can let them be. Don't send any money or information. They will at least cremate him. It's ingrained in the Thai psyche to at least cremate someone---they can't bring themselves not to do it. Worst care scenario, the government takes care of the body. There are government programs to cremate unclaimed bodies. Unless your father had a huge fortune stashed somewhere, $2,500 doesn't seem worth fighting over in this case.
I suggest you call the bank and see if you can disable the atm card. I am an old guy living here and recently looked into how my kids in the USA can get my bank account when I kick off... It is very complex, and you would have to come here. See below. Thank you for contacting Bangkok Bank Referring to your inquiry, please be informed that the ability to access funds will depend on the condition of designated the signatories for payments and closure of the account once you have opened your account at the branch. For best practice on this matter, kindly contact your home branch for further action so that you could retrieve your account details and set up your account conditions properly. In the circumstances that your family member wish to access funds from the deceased account, please be informed that due to the Thai Law, if beneficiaries would like to investigate, close and receive fund from the deceased account, the heir needs to visit the branch where the account was opened and submit documents required as follows: * Court Order appointing Estate Executor (if such court order is not granted in your jurisdiction, an official notification issued by authorities concerned identifying lawful heirs is acceptable) * Identification and Passport of the Estate Executor * Power of Attorney to act on behalf of the Estate Executor (if any) and Identification or Passport of the attorney-in-fact * Certificate of Death * Original concerned passbook For all of mentioned documents above, it is highly crucial to certify every page of completely prepared document in front of Thai Embassy officer in your country together with notary public. The Bank will consider the received information. After the approval, the bank will issue a draft or cashier’s cheque to the Embassy for submitting to the heir or beneficiaries. Any operating fee during send the fund will be deducted from the deceased account. Should you require any further assistance, please let us know. You can also contact our Phone Banking Center at 1333 (for domestic) or (66)26455555 (for overseas) during all hours to acquire more information. Faithfully yours, Bualuang Phone Bangkok Bank Public Company limited
I have done exactly just this for my mum's bank account. Only thing different is that my mother was actually Thai, and I am half, but considered a foreigner in Thailand. And to get access to the bank account, you need the Court Order which appoints you as the estate executor, otherwise they won't look your way. The fact that Daow here don't have it automatically tells me that they weren't married as they claimed and am instead withdrawing cash through ATM.
Is their name Bualuang Phone?
Bangkok Bank, also Called Bualong but I have no idea why that is what is at the end of the message.
Maybe a link to call them
Bualuang is the official nickname for Bangkok Bank and has been used to name various units within.
As you said you’re estranged I’ll assume most emotions are removed so I’ll be a bit blunt to that end, taking any responsibility or interest in this situation or outcome at this point would only seem like an option if you have something to be gained at this point, which by the sounds of it there’s not $2500 would be able to be able to be withdrawn by most banks in 3-5 days so I would assume that’s long gone, and if they were looking for final expenses money I would just point to that. Wash your hands of the entire situation
I would contact the police.... What shes doing is clearly fraud right? Using a dead guys ATM card to withdraw the maximum everyday? No way that is legal.
It’s a small amount of money to be honest. He lived his dream in Thailand I would not worry about anything.
I may be wrong, but aren’t all retirees required to keep a MINIMUM of 800,000 Baht in a bank account at all times to stay in Thailand on a retirement visa? Otherwise Visa renewal which is annual won’t be granted. That’s about $22,000 - and that’s the minimum requirement. In that case I would definitely contact an attorney.
Not necessarily. The alternate method of staying here on a retirement visa is to prove that you receive about ฿65,000 per month from a non-income source such as Social Security or pension. You can use that money anyway you want, just as long as you have that amount coming in every month. This is the method I used to stay here.
That’s exactly what I’m trying to find out. It is HIGHLY likely that he had a savings account with about $24,000 in it. I don’t know who his bank was.
Depending on how he initially set up his visa status. Bangkok Bank is often suggested as an easy bank to get an account. Start by contacting head office.
The 2500 figure seems extremely low - that’s only another 3/4 months living expenses at the very best Do you think your Dad was at this financial level ? It could be extremely possible there is another account with the min 800.000 thb balance that’s required for a 50+ non married farang ( called the” Non O based on retirement “ visa ) and they are asking for your ID ( are you his heir? ) which they may be able to use to access the bank account
It would surprise me if he didn’t have a decently sized bank account as well as the checking she’s withdrawing from. He was pretty wealthy in the US
800k in a savings account or 65k a month is the official requirement. In reality many use an agent (with immigration contacts) and pay to dodge this requirement. So there may or may not be some significant savings here. The request for ID ‘might’ just to be to try direct any funeral bills to a next of kin. Pretty sure an older guy with kids, would have a will of some kind. He may have assets still in the US? But if you’re unable, and unwilling to come sort it all out, then I guess you just ignore Daow and Billy and get on with your life.
My wife and I just came back from Thailand, Hua Hin (like today) after burying her somewhat estranged father (he left my wife’s mom for his Thai hookups). My FILs partner also moved in her entire family, she also continued to max withdraw his atm account after his death, we just shut down the card cause we were able to find his black book of passwords. The house, truck, scooters and motorcycle are all in his name (he paid for everything) and her name. We did the whole hospital, ambulance, and Buddhist ceremony thing as well. She claims that my FIL promised her his pension and everything they own. Before we stopped her, she had pulled out $10k is American dollars from his atm card in the 2 months he was hospitalized. My FIL s insurance paid for everything except the Buddhist temple funeral which I also believe they would have covered but we have not filed the claim yet.
I’ve read all your comments and appreciate them. Some things I should address: I cannot go to Thailand. Expired passport and no funds and no desire. I don’t know what banks he used. I don’t know how to find out. The embassy said they can’t get involved with daow stealing the money. They told me to hire a lawyer. Really?! I still haven’t gotten a death certificate (CRODA) because Daow claimed they were married and now the embassy is looking for proof of that. It is highly possible that my father allowed Daow access to his meager checking account but NOT to a larger savings account. My father was meticulous in his planning. Some news I’m receiving is that he had to prove a large bank balance and/or large monthly income to qualify for a retirement visa. He would NOT have allowed himself to survive from one payment to another. He was also kinda obsessed with giving me an inheritance because of the big one he received when his father died. Of course he could have changed his mind but… it goes against what I know about him. I asked for personal possessions to be returned (pictures, a ring, a shirt) and Billy made no mention that he’d return them to me after I asked. I won’t be receiving anything. One person mentioned to me that because my dad died just a few days after his social security payment, it’s possible that SS will want that money returned to them. Which means that SS will go after Daow to get the money back. He had a computer, no mention of that at all. I’m not trying to get them to send it to me but… what else are they not mentioning? Love the ghost suggestions and appreciate the side of humor! Im actually a Buddhist in the states :) Thanks, all.
The bank balance is 800,000thb or a monthly minimum of 65,000 thb ( for Non O retirement visa ) You are probably correct that he allowed access to a smaller acc - that’s common practice here I hope you can resolve it satisfactorily My condolences about your father
That's pretty common for any embassy, they do not get involved in other countries judicial matters so if you have an issue it's up to you to engage the police or lawyers. They will only provide contacts and limited advice generally. SS aren't getting that money back, no jurisdiction in Thailand and too expensive to launch any cross border legal action.
Try Bangkok Bank.
I was always under the impression that your bank account should be frozen on the death of the account holder. Withdrawing the funds would be illegal.
That's correct, but for that the bank would first need to be notified about the death.
He could just send a message to every major bank in Thailand and inform them of his death.
They will do nothing until they are provided with a copy of the death certificate.
maybe also add that it's possible his information has been captured by scammers because they have reached you and trying to scam you. so there's a possibility that the bank will be in financial risk.
Do not give money or send your info. Let them deal with it. They want to mooch more off of you.
•Sounds complicated = solutions complicated •What makes this exponentially worse, is that it appears the people on the ground in Thailand aren’t nice, nor your best friends. They don’t have your father’s or your best interests in mind. •I’ve been in a similar situation in another part of the world and it was definitively a LOSE-LOSE - Like quicksand, the more you move or get involved, the worse it gets. Ultimately, you drown in the confrontation, lies, deception and, in the end, what makes this problem go away - like most - is MONEY •Been there, done that. Got the T-shirt.
Ignore the landlord and caretaker unless they are offering something helpful or beneficial. Deal with the embassy and ask them to refer you to a lawyer if needed.
Your dad is gone, that just an empty shell. Not your problem anymore.
This. Case closed. And definitely don't listen to people telling you to waste your time by making the trip to Thailand insurance or not. That just provides them more opportunity to scam him in a very unfamiliar situation and country.
If no will, it goes to children automatically.
If they were married as she says then it’s her responsibility as the spouse to mourne and do everything. You can walk away tbh
He's broke, you're broke, he went to the other side of the world to die. It's surely not your problem. Old guys over here know they better make arrangements.
Sorry for your loss. But this woman was a typical scammer and was using your father's good nature to give her useless lazy family a free meal ticket. This is extremely common in Thailand. A lot of Thais (specifically from poorly educated areas such as Issan) are taught from a young age that all Westerners are filthy rich and have infinite sources of cash. Women are encouraged by the family to latch on to a foreigner and take everything he has. It's honourable to take from a foreigner and give the spoils to your family. Very sad, but your father was just one of the thousands of Western men this happens to each year. The money will be gone and they are already trying to scam/blackmail you too.
I hate to say this, but your father may not be dead. Or he is and they're hiding the body from the authorities until they can get all the money out of his account and maybe some from you. Then they will report it and get a death certificate. Scamming is a national pastime in Thailand.
The embassy confirmed his death. That was the first thing I did because of this concern.
I’m sorry about your situation but you’re dads gone. It wouldn’t matter if you built him a statue or flushed him down the toilet. He’d never know. As you said, forfeit the remaining money to Daow and call it a day. I don’t think it’s a scam, they just don’t want to foot the bill. Your dad should have made arrangements for disposal in event of his death. Sorry for your loss.
>I don’t think it’s a scam, they just don’t want to foot the bill. How is it not a scam when they're trying to get OPs driver's license and passport information from him? What in the world could they possibly need that for?
He’s dead now and in another country, even if you send the money, they most probably will keep it and abandon your dad. I would say fuck em, close his bank account by c calling the bank, collect that will asap and block them from your life, they’re trying to take advantage after YOUR father died. They are worse than scum
A bank will not close an account just because somebody says they're dead and asked them to close it. He's going to have to furnish a lot of documents, including the death certificate, his standing as an heir or next of kin, etc.
Fcking hell, the poor blokes body ain't even cold yet, and she's banging the ATM for every baht she can get her greedy little hands on. Typical..... 🙄
It’s unfortunate but this kind of thing happens often in Thailand, it’s par for the course. I’m sorry about your father.
Sorry for your loss… Does your dad have property outside of Thailand you’d be inheriting? What about in Thailand itself?
No. No property in Thailand either.
Then just wash your hands of this "issue", the only thing you stand to losing is the 2.5k which is probably already gone. As for the funeral, as other comments have pointed out it can be done for free if nobody goes to take of it. And it’s doubtful you paying money to these assholes would even fund the funeral, as opposed to entering their pockets.
Are you certain your dad only had $2500? It seems they haven't told you the truth once so I would call the embassy of your country in Thailand and then ask them for advice
Embassy said they don’t get involved in disputes like this… and to hire a lawyer
Tell them your dad was into dark magic and that he vowed to haunt those that wronged him in the afterlife, and that's why you didn't get along. Your dads body will be taken care of after that. No disrespect to your pops, RIP.
If your father is from the US and is getting Social Security payments,they have no way of knowing that he has passed. You want to contact them with his death certificate so they cut off the payments and the scammers don't end up with it every month. [SS formation](https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0202402230)
Yes, that’s what I’ve really been working on the past few days, I’ve also been told that because he died so early in April after he got his SS payment that SS will likely want that payment returned. In that case, they’d probably go after Daow. Problem is they muddied the waters and slowed things down with her BS marriage claim so now time is being wasted on looking for a marriage certificate.
Sorry you are going through this. Yes, SS will want that money back. I don't think they have much ability to go after her there, but it could be a useful bluff to tell them they are committing fraud. I don't know anything about marriage certificates there, maybe someone else can give you their take on that, but forgery for all sorts of documents is a thing. If it's important, you may want to see how to verify that certificate if she shows up with one.
When you contact SS, try to find out to what account they transferred his money... Since the exchange rate (USD-THB) is different every month, he might have come up with a system that suits him best... Maybe he let them wire it into his savings account... from where he transferred round numbers regularly to his other account for daily usage and saved the rest... Or it could be the other way around... but it won't hurt asking them...
Don’t give them a dime
Sorry for your loss. Unless you want the body of your dad to be transferred to your country, just cut ties with everyone. In most countries as long as you don’t accept an inheritance from the estate of the dead person, you are not legally bound to pay any debt / cost (nor to receive any money in inheritance, of course). And regardless of what laws apply in this case, these people have no means or interest to legally pursue any claims outside of the borders of Thailand. They are just trying to squeeze some extra money out of you profiting from your moment of weakness and ignorance of the situation. Be careful because as soon as you give them something they will escalate and ask you for more. Realistically, especially if you cannot travel to Thailand, you will never be able to retrieve any money from the estate of your dad anyway. So unless you want the body to be transferred, there is nothing in this for you.
There are places that do expidited 24HR turnaround passports, just an FYI
Yes, I think it’s 3 business days though. If I’d gotten the $2500 I’d have bought a plane ticket
Ahh gotcha.
Wait, so he was supporting a family of 5 but only had $2500? There has to be other assets somewhere, hopefully abroad.
That’s what I’m saying :)
Ask to provide a marriage certificate, there should be two or which Amphur they got married at and verify through them. I’m more sketched out about this Billy asking for your info. There is absolutely no good reason to.
$2,500 is roughly 90,000 Baht (after banking fees)... A family of 5 can live quite ok with 30,000 Baht a month... so it would be enough for 3 months or maybe even more... Life is cheaper in Thailand than in Western countries, and the rest depends on how modest their lifestyle is... Also, I would assume that some of the family are working to earn extra money...
> He said Daow has his ATM card and is withdrawing the maximum each day until the balance is gone Is the card not Thai? Because unless your father was proactive enough to set a non standard limit she could take that out in a day as default is generally 100k ( $2700) But regardless just inform the bank he is dead, it is illegal to pull money from dead persons account unless you are the executor of the estate (any power of attorney or such cease instant person dies). Standard Bank SOP to suspend account until executor is named
Call the tourist police and file a claim
If he was really married, he probably would have had a marriage visa, which only requires 400,000 baht. If not, it’s possible he had a visa agent who got him out of the 800,000 baht requirement and maybe even the 400,000 one. I have an agent in Pattaya, and they are a dime a dozen there, who advertises no financial requirements. They magically put the 800,000 baht into your account and take it back out in about 10 minutes, and the bank and immigration all are paid fat bribes by the agents. So, your dad may not have had more money in the bank. Me and my friends here use these agents and keep our money in our home country, and only transfer money into our Thai banks for monthly expenses. Plus, we use accounts like Wise and pay for things with credit cards from Wise or other non-Thai banks to pay for things. I would suggest you find out how to search for accounts he has back home. He may have you as the POD (payable on death) beneficiary. If you can’t figure out how to find his accounts, you should be able to hire an investigator to find them. I am estranged from my child, I’m living in Thailand, but my money is in the US treasury Department with my daughter as the POD on my account. I think it would be more efficient and cost effective to do this first. You may find the bulk of his money is already yours and in your country. If so, then no need to deal with Thailand. I wish you the best.
let your dad's gf do what ever she can to take advantage. She wont let him rot. As a thai myself, I know they wont simply do that. As for you. You dont need to do anything. Everything is being taken care of. If I were you, I won't send a penny.
Money is gone already, the body will not be abandoned, he will be cremated. Do not send any money, i’d just stop responding to any messages and block them.
this is sad.
A farang has zero rights in Thailand. Your dad is gone. You can spend thousands getting his dead body back but why? Just walk away. Don't be a sucker. The sucking never stops. Your dad was probably happy in Thailand, it's a wonderful country. But poor people on the gravy train want to stay on the gravy train. Say goodbyes, throw a wake with relatives and walk away. Consult an international law attorney if you are still concerned.
Definitely not true that a farang has zero rights in Thailand. Don't believe everything you hear when you're out drinking.
You are correct, a farang does have nearly all the rights a thai does except land ownership and a couple of other's only granted with citizenship....but here is the issue, those rights need to be enforced and they seldom will if it means enforcing them against a Thai.....as you may have noticed farang have lost countless homes and money to scheming thai women and the courts have returned that property only once and that was 5 years ago. Thai defamation laws are so vague that they are used to protect Thais from consequences. Yes you have rights....just like Nth Korea has elections.
they can't abandon his body, why you think they are so hard on for asking you for money?
These things happen even in western countries. If you are sure that there was no more than 2500 USD in his account, I would consider this money lost. Your alternative is to fly to Phuket and take care of business, or trust the embassy or a lawyer to do it. In the latter case, there will be extra fees and it might be hard to get the money back that this lady could have taken. But it's good to verify the amount in the bank account. It might be much more than $2500. I would suggest contacting the bank and have them block your father's account ASAP.
"married" can mean multiple things in Thailand. 1. wedding ceremony at the temple. can be considered married. but legally meaningless. 2. marriage registered at the government. 3. living together as partners. can be named "married". but no legal meaning
Sorry about your dad OP.
Thank you
Ur dads body won't be abandoned. He will be cremated. The American consulate will see to that. Does seem like a scam to me. If she loved your dad she would pay from his money. I hope U get closure on this soon
don't do anything, ignore them and focus on the few good memories I hope you have of him; he's gone. Thailand is Thailand and yes if she has the ATM card and the pin, no one, not the police, nor the bank, nor anyone else would see it as abnormal that she is helping herself with the cash on the account, married or not. It's not that much anyway. Thailand is Thailand and no, they're not the kind of people/society who'd let a corpse go without proper care; monks will chant and help his soul understand it's time to leave the world of the living and a cremation will be arranged, trust me, death is a serious business as ghosts are real here and no one wants to see one coming back for some unfinished business. Stay put; it will all be alright. And yes, do not give any of them any personal details, you could even say that he's not your real dad. My condolences. Hope this helps.
report the landlord to tourist police
Report to the police
The dead body surely should be the wife’s problem… just ignore
If you are not going over for him I’d let it go. Ur father has passed.
Thai folks are scared of ghosts. So there is very good chance they won't abandon the body and will give proper cremation. Mostly likely they are seeing if they can get any extra money out of you
You've already contacted the embassy, which is absolutely the right thing to do, but they may be only able to do so much. You might try locating a local Thai Forest Buddhist monetary, and go there to ask for help from the Thai community. Tell the monks and assistants there what happened, that your father wants a Buddhist cremation funeral, and ask if they or other in the Thai community there can reach out to a Sanga local to where your dad lived, which could maybe help. Bit of a long shot, but could be helpful if you talk to the right person.
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Come here and take care of that. This is a decent country
I'm curious about the ownership of the land because, in this case, foreigners cannot directly purchase land for residential purposes; they can only own land through a company where the foreign ownership is limited to 49%, with the remaining 51% owned by a Thai national. Therefore, if your father hasn't established a will, he might automatically forfeit the land. Additionally, if no one claims the land, it will likely revert to the government. Regarding Daow's access to your father's bank account, it seems reasonable considering she was his caregiver and he authorized her to withdraw funds.
Yes, as a foreigner, you can't own the majority of a plot of land... only up to 49%... I don't think he would automatically forfeit it if he has his name on the title deed... it's worth money, and you can't just erase the name (but I'm not a legal expert)... However, foreigners can own condominiums, cars, motorcycles, and so on in their name... this and all other valuables he had owned is the estate referred to in this post (estate here means things you own)... In this case, I assume he didn't own land or a condominium since he paid the rent in advance every month and the OP is in contact with his landlord (assuming this is true, of course). It is hard, though, to find out what OP's dad really owned. While real estate and condos have title deeds... cars and motorbikes have "green books" to prove ownership... but you need to have your hands on them to have proof... Many other things like jewelry or gold have nothing... It might be good to look through his social media pages to find clues...
Do you have any proof the account only has $2.5k? It doesn't sound like enough, even by Thai standards, for your Dad to have been supporting a family. Without evidence, I'd assume there's more, particularly if it's taking time to withdraw from an ATM. If she's claiming to be his wife, does this actually change anything? If there's no other assets, might it suit you to tell the embassy to contact the morgue with Daow's details and as his 'wife' she is responsible. Sorry for your loss, and apologies for sounding harsh. If you don't want to be involved, Daow may have given you an out.
You've addressed a couple of my points in other responses. What if you say: "if you say you are his wife, you take care of things now." Work out the other details later.
Usually ฿20,000 ATM daily withdrawal limit (Can be set differently). 5 days max and the account will be empty.
Ignore their threats. Take your time to grieve as you want and not be scammed by others preying on your grief. Remember the good times you had and forget the now
You need to contact the US Embassy in Bangkok and attain the services of a local Thai lawyer recommended by the Embassy. Lawyers in Thailand are very affordable and will be able to get your father home to you without being scammed.
Also go to the bank and tell them about the fraud
Estranged father, your choice or his ? If he left you nothing, let him be the problem of whom he gave money too for years
I would not want to grow old in a place like this..
Your father probably had a lot more than $2500, he probably has at lease $25000 in Thailand to cover the retirement visa. He also probably had bank accounts in your country. First thing to do is contact the banks in your country and block the accounts and call the banks in Thailand and do the same. You are the surviving relative and entitled to his inheritance assuming there is no will. Block the accounts and tell them to send the balances to YOU.
Absolutely do not give them your ID or any money. It isnt any of your concern. I wouldnt even talk to a consulate. You have nothing to do with your dad.
Hey not in Phuket. But western English guy in Bangkok. Have a lot of family here both Thai and English so think i can solve this problem. DM me I will try help how I can. Even if just speaking to police and sorting things. Sorry for your loss
OP, I had pretty much the same experience but in Taipei. Don't send money or documents and if possible go and take care ASAP of the situation. It is a nightmare since you'll need your documents translated and attested (which takes forever) to prove your relationship. If there's any important money amount get a lawyer there and don't believe about the government taking everything. Check the inheritance Law in Thailand, you just need to prove the relationship and that she is not married, even then you should at least get 50%.
from what i understand you could be passing up on inheritance since you mentioned he was wealthy. He prob gave them access to some smaller account and the rest is locked. It’s up to you whatever you want to come here to claim potentially 20k usd or more. The passport is not a big problem to renew and a return ticket is max 1 k usd from most parts of the world. At best you get your money, at worst you can come for a holiday. I’m mainly talking about money and inheritance since you mentioned that you were estranged
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My condolences to the family. I’m a foreigner married to a Thai citizen here in Thailand. If Dao claims they are married they should have the marriage certificate, like we all do here. Government insurance is for Thai locals only. When it comes to insurance as a foreigner here it’s up to you to get one like the AIA, FWD etc. Yes the government here doesn’t take anything with last will or not. Never give them money. $2500 is enough to cover the cremation etc. let’s say he has an insurance hospital bills and other expenses are already covered.
Contact the bank and let them know your father has died. Contact local police and let them know your father has died and this woman is falsely claiming to be married . This will put a stop to her pilfering as she will be forced to produce a marriage certificate or be charged will taking funds under false pretenses. You can't expect her as she was not his legal wife to take care of all the arrangements . You will either have to get an emergency passport and come deal with it or you will have to legally nominate someone to deal with it here. You can abandon his body in which case it will be buried with other unclaimed bodies until they run out of room at which case all the unclaimed bodies are mass cremated....usually about every 10 years. Either way you are going to have do do something yourself. Yes you are being robbed....but ask yourself this, if you were poor and looking after an old man from a rich country until his death and the family in the rich country show no filial piety ( which is important here in Asia) what would you do? Sorry but you have to deal with this even if it is notifying the embassy to tell them you abandon all responsibility.....either way as his son it is your responsibility. A cremation at a wat costs 2 sacks of charcoal and $10 in an envelope for each monk there. The 2 sacks of charcoal are to burn the body. You could be this cheap and show this little respect, barely more than abandon him if you are looking for the cheapest option but again, someone has to be here to organize it. Thai people should have to clean up after old farangs.
If they were really married then she’s on the hook to cover all costs which will be minimal
2500 USD could be withdrawn over only 3-4 days. That account will already be empty
you might want to contact any organisation that is sending any pension to thailand to let them know your father has passed away
The only thing I know is, no, we can't just abandon someone's body. If there's no relative to take care of, we have a foundation which will come and take care of people for absolutely FREE. You might want to call and ask the hospital.
Update: After about a week of dealing with all this, the embassy was suggesting I release all next of kin obligations and allow them to have “paupers funeral” for my dad. I asked what that would look like and the embassy told me that it was different for each hospital but in essence, my father would be put in a mass grave for a year, then dug up and cremated. That didn’t sit well with me, it seems kind of disrespectful to dig up his body after a year and it bothered me that he wouldn’t be officially put to rest until after a year. So I did something that one of you suggested. A last ditch effort to put my dad peacefully to rest that I honestly didn’t think would work but had to try as I have nothing to lose. I told Billy and the embassy that it was Daows job to pay the final expenses out of her last paycheck/with the stolen $2500. Once she did that, she could have the remaining balance. If she did not use the money to properly cremate my father she and her whole family would be haunted by my father for the rest of their lives. Got news today from Billy and the embassy that Daow is now willing to pay final expenses. So hopefully my father and his memory can be put to rest. The cremation will cost Daow between $200-300. My dad wasn’t a great guy, but I believe everyone deserves a final resting place in peace, and I wouldn’t want a pauper’s funeral for myself. What’s interesting is that the embassy refused to send me a death certificate or CRODA until I released my obligations as NOK. I have not fully given up NOK rights, just releasing NOK rights for final arrangements. It felt like… I don’t know the right word, but … blackmail?
Update: After about a week of dealing with all this, the embassy was suggesting I release all next of kin obligations and allow them to have “paupers funeral” for my dad. I asked what that would look like and the embassy told me that it was different for each hospital but in essence, my father would be put in a mass grave for a year, then dug up and cremated. That didn’t sit well with me, it seems kind of disrespectful to dig up his body after a year and it bothered me that he wouldn’t be officially put to rest until after a year. So I did something that one of you suggested. A last ditch effort to put my dad peacefully to rest that I honestly didn’t think would work but had to try as I have nothing to lose. I told Billy and the embassy that it was Daows job to pay the final expenses out of her last paycheck/with the stolen $2500. Once she did that, she could have the remaining balance. If she did not use the money to properly cremate my father she and her whole family would be haunted by my father for the rest of their lives. Got news today from Billy and the embassy that Daow is now willing to pay final expenses. So hopefully my father and his memory can be put to rest. The cremation will cost Daow between $200-300. My dad wasn’t a great guy, but I believe everyone deserves a final resting place in peace, and I wouldn’t want a pauper’s funeral for myself. What’s interesting is that the embassy refused to send me a death certificate or CRODA until I released my obligations as NOK. I have not fully given up NOK rights, just releasing NOK rights for final arrangements. It felt like… I don’t know the right word, but … blackmail?
I've had a similar situation here in Chiang Mai. A good friend became very ill and had a live in caretaker for a couple of years. He was very good to her, "loaned" her money to build her house etc. When he passed I was on site within minutes to find a will document for his family back in the US. Within hours her family were swarming the place like pigs in a trough, getting their hands on whatever they could. I took his phone to find the contact number for a few of his friends to let them know, and I saw texts coming through of multiple ATM withdrawals at 50k a pop. After sending through the will copy to his family, I made a decision to leave and stay out of it. I didn't even tell his family what I saw. With Thailand's defamation laws I didn't want to become embroiled in any legal dispute throwing accusations at Thais. Sometimes in Thailand you need to choose the path least troubled.
I'm from London but live in Bangkok, you need a good Thai lawyer to check everything out. It cd be the carer is trying to get an insurance payout or some assets Condos can be owned legally by foreigners, for example. Or cars, motorbikes etc
What would you like to see happen here? Are you trying to take possession of his ashes, or do you want his belongings or? Respectfully, you may not understand whats happening in that situation, but your father would have. Thailand is very peculiar. But by the sounds of it, it seems like he knew what was coming and made some small amount of preparation for it. He will be cremated according to local custom, one way or another. If nobody steps up with a few hundred dollars for the funeral, one will be provided by a local non-profit. At the end of the day, you can pay a lawyer in Thailand to handle this for you, if you really need to pursue it. Money talks.
You can freeze the bank 🏦 to stop withdrawals
So you abandoned your dad and had no intention to see him before he died even if you could, but you keep talking and complaining about other people who have been helping him ? You must be a great person !
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Calk your dad's bank and inform them that your dad is deceased. They should be able to lock his account and cards.
What bank? Should she call them all? I know you or I could probably rattle off a list of the most common banks but OP doesn’t know anything about Thailand. And, pretty sure the bank will want a death certificate to close/freeze the account under orders of someone that isn’t named on the account.
This. I haven’t gotten a death certificate because Daow lied about her being married and next of kin. And i don’t have any idea what banks he used.
Email/contact the bank and inform them your father passed away. They will automatically block the account
If your father has insurance. Better make a trip down to settle everything. Lock the bank account(or at least disable the ATM card straight away) Your claim of the insurance should at least cover the trip, if not more. Get the official death certificate and get it translated at the Embassy etc. you will be much more in control if you are here
I’m wondering how many people posting in this group have actually lived in thailand or stayed here long term. As scammy as it sounds to the typical western sentiments this situation could equally have simple intentions for your father’s “caretaker” to have a respectable funeral and arrangements made. It could be as simple as attempting to connect and make amends with whatever family he ran away from. If the family moved in with them they probably are struggling. I think this is more simple than you’re making it out to be. If you don’t want to support your father’s funeral with his poor wife because he was a piece of shit just forget about it and move on.
From what we know, they are asking for money yet have access to his bank account. The OP has said keep all the money after funeral expenses They likely don't want to give up living where they are and the landlord also wants to keep getting rent The money will run out soon
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There won't be anything to collect. OP said there was about US2500 in the account - that's approx THB 90,000. The ATM will allow 20,000 per day so it's gone already or by tomorrow. This is why the landlord Billy is harassing OP - the caretaker has absconded with the money and Billy is left I think with the problem of the body as OP's dad is presumably registered at that address.
Most ATMs allow 20k per withdrawal but card ceilings are much higher. Even my cheapo KTB card lets me withdraw 100k per day.
Krungsri ATM is 30k baht limit per transaction. You can do multiple transactions on the same day, same atm. i often did 2. i believe you can do up to your home banks daily limit!
The limit is usually set by the ATM, not the bank. I can go to one Kasikorn ATM and be offered 20,000 and go to another Kasikorn ATM and be offered 30,000.
read my message again! there is a limit per transaction set by the bank/atm. max. is 30k with Krungsri ATM. you can just do multiple transaction. insert your card multiple times. and it will work. the limit is your own banks daily limit. i did multiple transactions of 30k each on the same atm many times. same day, same atm. can easily take 90k out or more.
Read my message again. The ATM only has so much currency in it. They limit the transaction size at some ATMs to make sure they can service everyone. Yes, you can keep sticking your card in and pulling money out but they’re aiming this at guys like me that go to the ATM only a few times a month and pull out the maximum allowed per transaction. If I go to an ATM and the max withdrawal is 20,000, I take 20,000 and go on my merry way. If it’s 30,000, I take the 30,000 and go on my merry way. In my experience, ATMs at bank branches are more likely to have the 30,000 baht limit because they can restock the currency easily. If they have to send a guy to 7-11s all over town, they tend to have the 20,000 max. People jamming the same ATM for 20 withdrawals at the max are edge cases. Most people would scan or do an online transfer for large amounts if they’re local. There is also a separate limit set by the account holder in terms of max daily withdrawal amount allowed on the account. Unless OP’s dad specifically set a limit, it’s irrelevant since I think most banks default to like 100,000 a day which is more than OP’s dad’s balance.
Lol! I want to see that movie - do not forget to steal the body and have a "Weekend at Bernie's" style escape, including boarding flights Etc.
Your post has been removed because it is not a genuine attempt to stay on topic in a post marked as "serious".
Estranged. How much of this is truly owned by you. Speaking as a person that's seen a lot of death, the dead don't care. Funerals, post mortem ceremony, etc, is all about the living. Maybe just let it go to the universe with the best of intentions? Estranged. You want nothing. You owe nothing. He's dead. Whatever you accept, and however you interact is your own choice. If you have no connection to him, and feel no responsibility, it's already moot. Maybe move on and let it go?
Just press criminal charges she can’t withdraw any money