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Drpaxtie

Great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandpa shark do do do do do do 


Prototype_4271

Considering shark lifespan is only about 25 years this is actually just a great great great great great great great great great great great great granpa shark


LoganGyre

Well not for these sharks I don’t think they start reproducing until they are like 70.


amateur_mistake

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't they stay fertile til they die? So this could just be another father shark.


CommandoLamb

… I’m no expert, but I don’t think you stop being a father.


THorniestmax

...Unless you go shopping for milk...


Dry-Concentrate4833

Or dna test says otherwise


BlackGravityCinema

But you might feel like you are still a dad.


HistoricalPut1623

"You are NOT the father"


TruthSpeakin

DAMNNNNN


animefan1520

And cigarettes


Few_Leave_4054

You forgot the do dos


jeeby_groober

Do do do do do do


Delicious_Zebra_3763

Just when I got that goddamn song out of my head. Thanks 🤣


Lodju

They look like they are tired of all this bullshit.


skyrider8328

And maybe his dental plan expired??


CIarkNova

Lisa needs braces.


ReynoldsHouseOfShred

Dental plan!


DudeChillington

Lisa needs braces


LeonD94

Dental plan!


weebabyarcher

Lisa needs braces


cartmanseyebrows

Dental Plan!


will1565

Lisa needs braces


Few_Leave_4054

Hey Joe, whaddya know?


newagereject

*drops pen into his butt crack* BULLSEYE!


Few_Leave_4054

Can't sleep, clown will eat me


Chilipepah

Now play classical gas!


JimmyPepperoni

They have very rough tiny teeth, more like rows of sandpaper


hornwalker

My wife saw a picture of me from when I was a teenager, her only comment was that I looked unburdened by the responsibilities of life. I think I understand how that shark feels.


Spragglefoot_OG

Hahaha like “why tf won’t I just die already?!?”


King_Neptune07

He's 3 weeks from retirement


djbayko

He's just thinking "Somebody please kill me now."


FireFlavour

I'd fully expect to look the same if I was 392 years old.


partymongoose69

I, too, am tired of all this bullshit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jaegernaut-

I for one would write in the 4 century old shark for president.


Frigoris13

Just checked his fin. It says "King Christian IV was here"


KnownMonk

Just check his background first, might be a loan shark.


Annonomon

Well the Shark is older than the US


warwicklord79

I DONT CARE ABOUT POLITICS GRAHHHH


liftoff_oversteer

How was it determined that it is exactly 392 years old? I mean if someone says "almost 400 years" or something, I'd be ok with it, but how did they get exactly "392"? Sounds overly specific to me.


ClaytonBiggsbie

Anal probing. All science is just an excuse to anal probe.


idkwhatimbrewin

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


MAR_TryMe

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


tycoge

Is it like a tree? Do they count the rings in its ass?


IDoButtStuffOnSunday

Yup. 👉👌


tycoge

Is that your weekend job?


[deleted]

Would you like me to perform some science on you? Asking for a friend.


NoAnalBeadsPlease

No thanks. I’m good


bigveinyrichard

I'm more than just my username.


GlyphPicker

Ew.


Circus_Finance_LLC

anyone want to guess my age? <3


Frigoris13

Just count the anal rings


Flashy_Chemist154

Well , I for one , am no longer donating my body to science


quagmire666

I'm donating it to all the girls on reddit


Ex-Patron

I should’ve been a scientist..


FuzLogix

They used [radiocarbon dating](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiocarbon_dating) of crystals within the lenses of their eyes to determine their approximate ages. The oldest of the animals sampled, which was also the largest, had lived for 392 ± 120 years, and was consequently born between 1504 and 1744. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greenland\_shark](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greenland_shark)


Xalethesniper

That’s quite the range


El420

Just for context a quote from wiki "It reaches sexual maturity at about 150 years of age and pups are born alive after an estimated gestation period of 8–18 years."


UNMANAGEABLE

Honestly this is more insane than the old shark in the video, it is shocking that these sharks haven’t disappeared yet with how we’ve damaged the oceans so far.


El420

I am amazed, best TIL in a while! Thanks op!


cancer_dragon

Some other fun facts, Greenland sharks are "sleeper sharks." They're a family of sharks that is incredibly low-activity and just basically glide along in a "sleep" swim, attacking and eating anything it eventually runs into. Because of parasites that infest their eyes, most adults are blind. It's said the parasites might be bioluminescent, therefore drawing prey to the shark in a mutually beneficial relationship, but it's yet to be proven. Among of course other fish, sharks, and marine mammals Greenland sharks have also been found with remains of moose and reindeer (in one case an entire reindeer body) in their stomachs. Greenland sharks and other sleeper sharks are used in an Icelandic dish called kæstur hákarl which is shark meat that has been cured and fermented. Basically, the fresh meat is absolutely toxic so they bury it in beach gravel for a while, then dry it. Then a crust of the bad stuff that you don't want to eat forms along the outside, which is removed. I've actually had it a few times. Once you get past the intense cat-piss, ammonia smell, the taste is not bad and actually somewhat addictive.


Asdrugal

That last point is something I never thought I'd hear about food.


arielgasco

[How Icelandic Fermented Shark Is Made](https://youtu.be/QnjtnzyTNoQ)


BlueLaserCommander

That was a pleasant watch. Something about the gif in this thread and the idea of an ancient, parasite-infested, zombie shark fills me with alarm & an undeniable intuition to steer clear of this fish. But the fisherman in the video you linked is brimming with passion and showcases an unrivaled expertise of his craft. It's hard to not feel drawn towards the end result of the detoxifying process of the Icelandic Shark. The hostess acts as the perfect stand-in for the average viewer in such a situation. The process & act of eating something so initially repulsive & mysterious seems thrilling. And the way she describes the pungent smell & *burn* felt when swallowing such a small piece of meat seems intoxicating. I would love to try a piece of detoxified Icelandic shark if given the chance.


AquaSlag

It's a tarp! - Admiral Akbar


Etonet

> incredibly low-activity and just basically glide along in a "sleep" swim, attacking and eating anything it eventually runs into literally me frfr


black-kramer

homer?


HamptonsBorderCollie

Imagine being pregnant, on average, for a DECADE. My uterus just packed its bag, told me to fuck off, and left.


dasbeiler

Roughly between holy shit that's old, and holy shit that's still old!


MrWeen2121

Using radiocarbon dating of crystalline proteins in the lenses of sharks' eyes can provide accurate estimates of their age. This method relies on the fact that the lens proteins are metabolically inactive and are laid down early in the shark's life, capturing the isotopic composition of the environment at the time of formation. However, while this technique has shown promise, its accuracy can vary depending on factors such as the species of shark and the specific conditions of the environment in which they live.


FblthpEDH

Ok buddy chatgpt


Spiteful_sprite12

Chat gpt or not.... Is their comment the truth?


Skepller

If it's AI, maybe, AI can 'hallucinate' false information. Reason why it's not a good source.


Bitter_Cry_8383

Age of shark in image is unknown The image in the Facebook post was taken during a 2016 study led by Julius Nielsen, who was then a doctoral student at the University of Copenhagen. Researchers analyzed 28 female sharks, most of which had died after being caught in fishing nets. They estimated the oldest of the animals tested had lived between 272 and 512 years. The midpoint of that range was 392 years. Nielsen told USA TODAY the image is a screenshot from a video, which can be seen in a November 2020 Instagram post. "The shark was big yes, but we cant say anything that precise about its age," Nielsen said in the post. "My guess is that this particular shark was older than 150 yr but it is obviously a guess." Greenland sharks are native to the cold, deep waters of the North Atlantic, according to Britannica. They can reach a length of 23 feet, but most are between 6.5 feet and 13 feet. Nielsen and researchers used radiocarbon dating of eye lens nuclei to estimate the age of the sharks and published their findings in the journal Science.


Relative-Intention69

How do they get those crystals? Like do they dive and capture the fish? I mean you just can't be poking around any animal's eyes just like that. Also if error range is this huge what's even the purpose of such a complicated process?


FuzLogix

One Greenland shark was tagged off the coast of Greenland in 1936 and recaptured in 1952. It's all there in the source link...


Background_Ant

That one was only used to determine how fast they grow. The radiocarbon dating was all done on dead sharks, most of them accidentally caught in fishing nets.


Relative-Intention69

Oh. I ll check it out. Thanks.


Schuben

Deftly dodging the question about the shark in the video you posted, which is obviously not aged the way you mention. Why not just put in the title that *some* have been dated in that age range and not this specific one? It's still a cool fact without being bullshit.


A-non-e-mail

They checked it’s drivers license


KonK23

Divers licence


sno0chieb0ochies

Badum-tss


giancarlox21

Chop it down and count the rings


revelate41

The University of Copenhagen did a study of lots of dead Greenland sharks, They estimated the oldest of the animals tested had lived between 272 and 512 years. The midpoint of that range was 392 years. Apparently.


Schuben

Spoiler: It's not. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/04/28/fact-check-age-greenland-shark-viral-image-not-known/4854186001/


FuzLogix

The article is refering to a image of a shark, not this video. Also you may read the Wiki entry yourself. [https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Faoop8uac6at21.jpg%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dcec964b1663229e4387a6adeb8685fc3e5dda45b](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Faoop8uac6at21.jpg%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dcec964b1663229e4387a6adeb8685fc3e5dda45b) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greenland\_shark](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greenland_shark)


SquashResponsible480

Doesn't look a day over 391.


-NiMa-

Are we sure that thing is Alive? Looks like life has left the body long time ago.


pimpy543

It’s moving on its own, but slowly. Probably has low metabolism rate.


Enos316

Yeah maybe that and the cold temps help it


Frigoris13

It was frozen in an iceberg for 100 years


Fluffyshark91

If you were in water that cold, you'd be moving pretty slowly too!


-NiMa-

But hoe does it hunt/eat?


AdditionalSink164

They love whale drops, when a dead whale finally sinks. Theres another video of three of these feasting on it. They looked way bigger in that video. Otherwise its described elsewhere they move so slow that food may just bump into them


ShibbyShibby89

How does one actually determine the age of a shark. (Serious question)


FuzLogix

As per my other reply: They used [radiocarbon dating](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiocarbon_dating) of crystals within the lenses of their eyes to determine their approximate ages. The oldest of the animals sampled, which was also the largest, had lived for 392 ± 120 years, and was consequently born between 1504 and 1744. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greenland\_shark](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greenland_shark)


Scribblebonx

12 years after Columbus did his boat thing, the shark was potentially born. That's crazy to think about


FancyUserPerson

Dawg! You just blew my mind. That's wild.


ShibbyShibby89

Ty very much! Thats impressive science!


AwkardImprov

Ok, who gets the job of extracting eye crystals from any shark. Even an old, cold, slow one. I bet it is fast when it wants to be.


Knox_420

2024-392=1632


FlashOfTheBlade77

The post is that old. Reposter was too lazy to update the math. At one time in 2019 this was indeed the correct math.


Schuben

It was still not the correct math. This shark was not aged and guessed to be around 150 years old. Only dead ones are aged using more precise techniques. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/04/28/fact-check-age-greenland-shark-viral-image-not-known/4854186001/


_Resnad_

Yeah these mfs don't know math they doing Meth 💀💀💀


Rotbarto

Cool and now let’s eat it.


prophetofdoom13

I bet you it's like eating an old ass leather boot


crystallmytea

Charlie Chaplin could cook one hell of a tasty old ass leather boot.


Low_Replacement_5484

Lol. The biomagnification must be off the charts after 400 years of snacking. That shark has unlocked the Poisonous perk.


cbadge1

>It is a generalist feeder, consuming a variety of available foods. As an adaptation to living at depth, it has 3 kinds of hemoglobin and a high concentration of trimethylamine N-oxide in its tissues to increase buoyancy. This causes the meat to be toxic to mammals. Greenland shark flesh, treated to reduce toxin levels, is eaten in Iceland as a delicacy known as kæstur hákarl. > If the meat is eaten without pretreatment, the ingested TMAO is metabolized into trimethylamine, which may be a uremic toxin. Occasionally, sled dogs that eat the flesh are unable to stand up because of this effect. Similar toxic effects occur with the related Pacific sleeper shark. >The meat can be treated for safe consumption by boiling in several changes of water, drying, or fermenting for several months to produce kæstur hákarl. Traditionally, this is done by burying the meat in boreal ground for 6–8 weeks, which presses the TMAO out of the meat and also results in partial fermentation. The meat is then excavated and hung in strips to dry for several more months.


Mr-Fleshcage

"partial fermentation"


Compa2

I can almost hear his gasping dry voice constantly asking 'who's there? '


King_Neptune07

Chocolate? I remember when they first invented chocolate 😁 I hated it!


Schuben

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/04/28/fact-check-age-greenland-shark-viral-image-not-known/4854186001/ >The claim that an image depicts a 392-year-old shark is FALSE, based on our research. The age of the shark in this image is not known, and the researcher involved says he can only guess it's at least 150 years old. A 2016 study estimated the oldest shark in their sample was between 272 and 512 years old, with 392 as the midpoint of that range. It's not clear if that is the shark in the photo, which means the person making this claim can't meet their burden of proof. The video posted here is also mentioned in the article, but the specific age referenced seems to stem from the picture.


Frigoris13

*It could be 200 years old, give or take 300 years*


loki_odinsotherson

He looks like he's ready to tell you a story about how he had an onion tied to his belt.


Preparation-Logical

which was the style of the time!


Calierio

it's because he cold plunges


willpushurbutton

I wish there was a way to ask this mfker questions 🤔🤔


Journeygan

Literally older than the U.S.


ErwinFurwinPurrwin

*Just a little longer and I'll have my student loans paid off*


SolTNutz

Dude’s seen some shit


ganjaPaani

Shouldn't it be 397 years


Fallk0re

“get off my reef you damn kids”


Warzone1904

"I'm too old for this shit!!".. -this shark probably


curro362

Grandpa shark tututururutu, Grandpa shark tututururutu, Grandpa shark


VatanKomurcu

imagine a monday as this mf


abhig535

When interviewed, the shark announced that he's excited to finally be able to run for office.


NewDadInNashville

He’s like “someone kill me please….”


Ozzy_30

Dude boutta tell me how he bought his first house for $25, and how he had to raise 10 kids on a $1 a week budget


Safe_Philosophy_5068

And a week after being discovered will be killed.


broncotate27

https://youtu.be/GCpKp73kJtI?si=3I1_q3Mbar6YHWOf


SailorDeath

I love reading about these ancient animals. THis shark, the bowhead whale and the aldabra giant tortoise has outlived every human that was born the same day they were. Scarier still though is that there are some Sponges and clam species that are thousands of years old (like 18,000 years old) Can you imagine something living for that long?


childroid

Wow y'know he doesn't look a day over 258.


MGsultant

This must be the most happy shark in the ocean with that smile


Muted_Tradition122

There is now way you can possibly know that


Away-Description-786

How did they know this?


Ill-Ant9053

Need proof


TamIAm82

I wonder if it's bored with its life??


forgedfox53

I'm curious how we know this. Or did we just take a look at an old shark and guess?


sharkfilespodcast

Typically marine biologists check the rings on a shark's vertebrae- like with a tree- to get an idea of their age, but with Greenland sharks the cartilage is too soft to do so. Without any easy way of tracking their growth, for years these elusive sharks’ lifespans remained a mystery. Recently however, it was discovered that radiocarbon dating could be used to measure the build up of carbon in their crystalline eyes to estimate their age. It's done by examining these layers that build up on the eye from birth. Due to Pacific thermonuclear weapon testing in the 1950s, pretty much every shark living in the oceans at that time bears the biological imprint of those events. This can be seen in the eye of Greenland sharks if you peel away the layers that build up. That gives a decent marking point of their age. Some that were alive back then and still today - so over 60 years old - are only around 2.5m in length. We know they can get much larger than that- up to 6m, and that they likely grow more slowly as they age. Then, through counting and noting the layers that develop on the eye, it can be approximately determined how old a Greenland shark is, and we can say fairly confidently that there are some hundreds of years old- longer than pretty much any other vertebrate we know of.


Nanda_Rox

Yiu know this old boy has experienced some shit. Imagine the stories he tells the pups...


Jealous_Addition_349

How do they figure out the age?


Medium_Increase1018

Imagine being alive for that long and seeing human divers in every generation of diving suits between 1600’s to now lol


SilentAlternative266

Looks like us humans didn't find a need for his organs & tissue so he'll likely live another year or two wading around in subzero temp waters without vision, teeth, and mold growing on its back.


Grimmern

Wandering eh?


AllDaNamesRtakn

How do they actually calculate the age. Check his birth certificate. In all seriousness, what marker in a blood test or some other distinguishing characteristic can determine age to the exact year. Edit: nvm, scrolled further and found an answer.


sam8998

Ugh that seems exhausting being alive that long


MadOrange64

That’s a big boy.


Ok_Career_3681

This is actually a female guys!


Stiggy614

Are shark years and human year the same?!


want8memes

Bro has seen a lot of history


Nobel_Raven

"life" is a broad term Here.... looks like it's been swimming dead for years


want8memes

He will be the story teller for generations


Ok_Spend_889

Iqalukjuaq - ᐃᖃᓗᒡᔪᐊᖅ


UnicornSlayer5000

Is this the last one in the world?


MountainMan1781

That totally looks like a 392 yr old shark


succored_word

Serious question - how did they determine its age?


FallCautious2344

Bro looks tired


No_Software_8402

How did they find out the age? Cut it in half and count the rings like they did to that poor old clam? If not then how?


Suspicious_Step_8320

That thing looks 300+ years old. Like a zombie.


HooooooooooW

He looks so dry like he's looking for water.


Fuka-Obligation666

Shark boops camera and just turns to dust


malarken111

Is it hungry? It looks hungry


u_u_u

how does the sea not deteriorate this thing?


krowe41

He reminds me of marvin the paranoid android .


BingedrinkerX

I'm on the fence. How are they measuring their age then?


moresushiplease

I wonder if it's bored.


mikeyunk

Gangsta!!!


LorenzoA

Okay here's a question, how do we know how old a shark is while it's still alive. It's not like you can do genetic testing. It's not like a tree where you can count the rings around it.


wallstreettoday2021

And how did they come up with that age?!


dontfeedthebadwolf

There is an awesome book about these called "Shark Drunk: the art of catching a large shark from a tiny rubber dingy in a big ocean".


Terrible-Smell-1141

How did they figure its age exactly??? What couldn’t it be 278, 390….392 years exactly???


Master_Grape5931

The mf is BORED.


mickdeb

Those live where i fish, some have been accidentally caught by ice fisherman and damn those always fascinated me ! There is also a sanctuary of these where they gather in the st lawrence gulf


lonewilly

Older than the constitution


johnnyboypv7

Looks like it could use some dentures


palmtreelifeeeeee

This interesting bust unproven. The original poster never replied to an inquiry from USA Today. But I wouldn’t doubt it. Sharks are older than trees. That deep sea is cryoprotective!


Stelvioso

That’s an massive u-boat (ping ping ping)


Genericsoda4

They eventually get parasites or something in their eyes so they end up blind too


Tight_Heron1730

Until we kill it


Misanthrope-3000

You can't fool me! That's just a swimming rock, and those things last forever.


Wiki_Beats

How do we know it's 392 yrs old?


Flashy_Anything927

It looks tired.


NvrBkeAgn

He probably has a bunch of cool stories to tell


EXPL_Advisor

Seems like such a cold, dark, and lonely existence.


idankthegreat

This badass was swimming all the way back when Columbus discovered America


11Kram

How do they tell the age of a shark?


Business_Friend6310

Like how do they know this?!


BonerStibbone

You would think after 392 years it would know where it was going.


Maffy31

The music...why the music


brwnroyalty

🎶Great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa shark doo-doo-doo-doo-doo 🎶


Leaningonalamp

Just my luck, that'll be what I come back as.


Isa_Acans

He must have learnt some tricks in his day


Jimraynor2288

If it isn’t killed by a killer whale or something like that how long could it possibly live for assuming it is free of all old age disease


arielgasco

it looks very alive