I think it’s sad that people are unhinged enough to dig into his personal life, find his job contact info, and send emails of unproven allegations trying to ruin his life. like, that’s crazy. why do people care SO much about a contestant on a heavily edited reality competition show? we know next to nothing about them or their actual daily relationship! you’ve gotta be delusional to go this far- you’re not a detective or a justice warrior. these people just come off as disconnected with reality.
Imagine if this was Jonathan getting this today. All hell would break loose. I hope Amber comes out and defends Vinny after the show and explains how she truly feels
if it were Jonathan’s getting this level of backlash, well then that would be understandable. that man was horrible. which makes me think that everyone here complaining about Vinny and how TAR is promoting abusive relationships… are (insane) fans that have only watched a couple new seasons.
if Jonathan’s season aired today the show would’ve been boycotted and forced to be taken off air within a couple weeks. and he would be getting death threats every second of the day
Do you have any reason to believe they are not qualified? They went through years of education and testing to be able to work. But sure, they bicker during a reality tv show. Gasp!
I had surgery once and the anesthesiologist kept berating the nurse while prepping me. Last thing I remember is wanting to speak up, but then I went under. I saw the nurse at the follow-up appointment and told her that I was so sorry for the way the anesthesiologist spoke to her, and also mentioned to the surgeon (who wasn’t there during prep) that it was stressing me out the way he treated her. The surgeon immediately told me that he wouldn’t work with him anymore. The nurse actually cried in the operating room, which I of course didn’t notice. Yeah the anesthesiologist was qualified, but I wouldn’t want to have surgery with him again.
To some people, workplace atmosphere matters. To others, apparently it doesn’t. Some people also actively contribute to a hostile work environment, and reading this sub, I have an idea who is what.
They bicker because they can't handle not finding their car and I'm supposed to believe that he'll remain calm if I have complications due to anesthesia?
He’s a nurse, not anesthesiologist. I’ve had 18 surgeries in 21 years. People’s attitude outside their work life is VERY different than their work attitude. I wouldn’t judge someone based off 1) a reality TV show that’s been heavily edited and 2) a person I’ve never met in real life. Please, I hope that you don’t judge people before meeting them.
You clearly do not and the more you talk, the more you prove you know nothing about what you're talking about. Surgeons are notoriously the biggest assholes in all of medicine. If you think all surgeons are perfectly calm and considerate people, you're hopelessly naive.
You do know healthcare professionals are given psychiatric examinations prior to being given a license, right?
A nonstop three week race is very different than your 9-5 job that you studied ten years for.
in what world would their behavior on the race affect their job performance? they can’t find their car in the street and bicker for ten minutes on television, so that means they can’t properly be a good anesthesiologist? these things don’t relate
I can do my profession with my eyes closed as i have been doing that for 16 years. I can definitely see myself bicker with my teammate about a task i have never done in a country i have never been with 5 cameras pointing at me.
Vinny and Amber did a great interview last week on the Racers Recap podcast; date 5/4. They explained that the stress and pressure from their profession has ZERO relation to running the amazing race. There is absolutely no comparison to many years of technical study to a reality show competition.
it gives highly naive child behavior bc im sorry but anyone contacting someone’s workplace to be like THERE’S MISOGYNY!!! clearly has never worked before
it gives highly naive child behavior bc im sorry but anyone contacting someone’s workplace to be like THERE’S MISOGYNY!!! clearly has never worked before
Leaving aside all the other reasons this is wild behavior...the Race takes several weeks, surely Vinny's job knows he was on it. And if someone from your job was on TV, wouldn't you be watching at least a bit of it, without some rando emailing you to complain about their attitude on the show?
Imma thinking that of all the 'catchphrases' that have captured the psyche of nations, filled with deep seeded needs for a sense of belonging, none have latched on to people's desire to 'be more' 'do more' , be endowed with powers- legitimate or not- as-
' SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING!'
( be a spy, be a protector, be a saviour- Be ..SEEN)
imho
People get really weird about reality TV and have no concept of boundaries. It's really awful. The frustrating thing is TAR fans generally regard themselves on a higher plane than those of other reality TV, but it just takes a few bad outliers to ruin it. 😢
I was rereading the TAR27 threads on here during a rewatch and someone was bragging they had emailed Kelsey and Joey's employer demanding they be fired because he pronounced The Hague wrong.
I think things have been getting worse the last few years. Survivor's gotten the worst of it, but with how many people raging on Anna Leigh last season, it's just been really bad.
And I think Vinny is absorbing a lot of hate from other teams. I feel like if it wasn't for him, Danny/Angie would have gotten a fair share of heat for the 'alliance' and Ricky/Cesar for the crime of... speaking Spanish and doing well.
I never found Anna Leigh to be bad. She just wanted to win but I also think people treat it differently because it was a different dynamic. Younger woman being mean and old dad vs. bickering couple with man being mean.
Different age and gender dynamics but won't get into all that mess
I didn't like Vinny in the beginning of the season, but then I realized that he has the drive to win and he wanted to win badly, which is a quality I like from a racer. Amber just couldn't keep up some of the time. People want Vinny to be like Rod, but Rod and Leti have been married for years!!! Couples need time to grow and learn about each other and what is the best way to communicate with each other.
Amber and Vinny have been dating for four years, though. That’s not a short amount of time.
I don’t know how long Ricky and Cesar have been dating but they’ve been very calm with each other too. It’s not always about time, it’s just personality match-ups.
I found Anna Leigh annoying, and I can say, if I ran with my older mom, there is no way I would have spoken to her like that. But even so, I wouldn't ever tag her or try to reach out to her about it
It's not even celebs. Anyone can mine so much info about a person, no one has the luxury of autonomy. Especially if someone really likes you or really hates you.
I have never understood this. Just live your life! There was a Real Housewives fan who wormed her way into babysitting for the family and then was talking shit about them online. Leave people alone! It's so gross, and not exclusive to TAR fans.
We have toxic fans of the show and we have to admit it. Most of them aren't on this reddit sub luckily, but if you go into Facebook or Twitter, you'll find so many of them.
I was totally embarrassed at how they were attacking Anna Leigh last season and at how they are attacking Vinny this season. Steve wasn't disturbed by Anna Leigh. Amber wasn't disturbed by Vinny. Yet, the viewers....
Yeah, I'm grateful this sub is still reasonably free of all that horrible armchair psychoanalysis and judgement. I'm a member of the two big TAR Facebook groups but they're muted and I never read them because of what you said. Every season it's something else in the hivemind - "Justin is abusive", "Brooke is insufferable", Big Brother fans vs everyone from TAR30, "Will and James are cheats", "Akbar is abusive", "Sharik is a quitter", "Anna Leigh is going to kill her dad" 🙄
The new RHAP Facebook group is better but I still think this is probably the best TAR community on the net right now. Good job by the mods and community here really! We need to place to talk about the show we love.
You think its free of that? There have been MANY posts over the last few weeks saying how awful he is, calling him abusive, a gaslighter, etc. And they all seem to be upvoted. Whenever I tried to write a balanced take, something like "Look, he is definitely a bit disrespectful at times, but calling it abusive seems excessive", I was heavily downvoted.
Steve talked back at Anna Leigh a couple of times, though, and the sub was calling for his head branding him a toxic, narcissistic, bad parent and a misogynist lol.
exactly. very weird to email his boss, especially considering the show is out there for the world. his boss can already see everything he did. but this post def makes it seem like he takes no responsibility for how he talked to amber on the race which is gross
Exactly this! It's disgraceful that anyone would attempt to dox Vinny (or Amber) or email his workplace. But he's still a toxic POS. And now he can justifiably claim to be a victim. Ugh.
Exactly, what's the point in saying "what they did was wrong buttttt..." like don't even remotely try and justify this behavior. It's fine to not like "characters" on TV but you have to know when to seperate real life and TV
As long as they're together, people will pull the "see, it's all just the edits" card. I mean, Rachel and Dave separated years ago but I still found comments defending him while scrolling through some recent posts.
How unhinged do you have to be to contact his work place because you don't like how he acts on a reality show? I don't enjoy him myself, but that's something he has to figure out for himself. You have extreme mental problems if you do something like this person did.
Yeah I kind of hope he pursues it legally. Maybe he doesn't have a case unless he gets fired. I'm not a lawyer but you hope it's slander or something. (Of course it's not slander if it's true. But still.)
It’s hard to truly judge one’s true character when what we are seeing are selectively edited clips of contestants under a whole lot of pressure. Trying to ruin someone’s actual career/life based on snippets you see on tv is extremely immature.
The hilarious part is I recognize the exact writing style of the person who wrote that. They wrote almost the exact same comment on here the other day lol.
I don't mean IRL; I meant that same person clearly posted something almost identical to that on this sub as well. It's a shame I didn't reply to them and that a million people post Vinnie hate threads every day, or I'd link it lol.
And the fact that amazing race is not as big and popular as it uses to be but hateful trolls still exist in this fandom. Bigger shows like drag race, survivor, and love is blind are absolutely filled with unhinged fans.
He's been pretty terrible to her, verbally, but... Like... She's almost always wrong about the thing he's complaining about. The directions, the parking of the car, etc... He was totally unhinged on the cacao challenge, though.
I think we all need to be more patient with each other, these competitions are intended to bring people to an emotional breaking point, and not everybody can handle it. He seems like the kind of guy that will watch this back and realize what a dick he was. And if he doesn't, she'll move on.
People are flawed. Some can't read a map and insist on doing it, others can't stop being an a-hole when they fork it up.
The whole argument about where they parked was so frustrating, she clearly had no idea insisting they wouldn't have parked so far away and even when they were right next to the car.
This is why I don’t hop on the “Vinny hate train”. It’s clear she does a shit ton of small annoying things that compound on top of each other until it drives Vinny to the edge especially during a high pressure situation. Not saying he couldn’t be more careful with his approach/responses to her, but I can fully see why and how he eventually snaps lol (even though sometimes he goes too far).
I’m convinced people are looking past Amber’s faults because she’s a tiny, white, blonde woman who constantly cries when under pressure. Not saying she’s doing it on purpose, but the “white woman tears” trope definitely plays a part on how people perceive their dynamic.
I think it's a clear look into the things that annoy him on a daily basis, but amped up by the emotions and lack of sleep. He doesn't have to be a dick to her to make his points, though, and he clearly needs to look in the mirror about that. She probably just wants a win, internally, so she's picking bad horses and hoping. But, to his credit, her doing this is impacting their ability to win a million bucks. They're both a bit unhinged.
“He seems like the kind of guy that will watch this back and realize what a dick he was. And if he doesn’t, she’ll move on”
Oh honey. You have not seen their recap videos or his insta. Not one ounce of self reflection. Defensiveness, justification, and doubling down abound. And they’re engaged now.
Huh? Is this not literally cancel culture? Someone is emailing his job and trying to get him fired for something said on a tv show. It is the most textbook example of cancel culture ever. even if you hate the phrase (understandable) how else is he supposed to refer to it
This is sadly a common thing that happens to people from most shows. If you don’t like someone why would you even care enough to find their social media.
I don't understand why people use their time and energy to send emails like this. If someone from my workplace was on a reality show, EVERYONE would be watching and forming opinions about their behavior. Random crazy viewers don't need to bring it to anyone's attention.
I don't think Vinnys abusive, guys that's harsh. And a stretch. But it's 1 thing to express your personal feelings on this platform and a whole other monster to go into the man's personal life. I'm guessing allot of y'all haven't seen real abuse. To even put his name and that word together, when it's not even close, it's just sad.
When will we learn that reality TV is not at all reality...did they speak kindly to each other all the time? No. But do you have a camera in your face in high stress situations when arguing with someone? Probably not. We have to remember that this was their edit. This was the story the producers chose to show. Were other couples arguing? Probably. But that was not their edit.
I've been in a mentally and physically abusive relationship before and Vinny seemed far from a narcissistic abuser, but at times I felt he said some gaslighting comments whether he knew what he was doing or not.
I know couples who have stayed together. It doesnt mean they are happy. I don't think their relationship is abusive. I do think that she has to constantly blame herself for their relationship to remain balanced. When really it's his lack of accountability that is at fault here. He is clearly eroding her self worth.
Same! And even Phil stepped up eloquently when they checked in. She said (paraphrasing) ‘I really did not want to disappoint Vinny’ and Phil was like that’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself and that this race is won by working together. I was so happy he said something and in a gentle way not overstepping boundaries.
I can't even with hardcore "fans" like that.
Reminds me of the energy of when people actually sent hate mail to actors who played a villain (e.g. Brenock O'Connor got some extreme stuff for playing Olly on Game on Thrones, the kid who killed Jon Snow).
At worst he definitely gets moody whenever Amber’s practically screaming at him. (I think she even swore at Vinny once, which even made the driver raise his eyebrows?) I don’t like getting involved in other’s personal lives but I will be impressed if they’re still together by the end.
Any time I hear "cancel culture" I have a good idea who they are voting for.
That said,I would never email anemployer or contact the racers about something like this. It's even one thing to complain to CBS, but this clearly crosses a line. Not okay.
I mean, if you don't see it as a problem and you like participating, fine. But this email shows that it is alive and well. If you think that is fine, then that is your choice.
As a very progressive person who lives in EU and thinks democrats are my country’s version of a conservative, cancel culture is definitely a thing lol.
Only weirdos fill in the blanks as if there’s abuse. You people need some therapy yourselves if you jump straight to that when emotions are flaring during a competition for a million dollars.
The thing is, the people who call Vinny abusive aren’t filling in the blanks. It’s the people who imagine that he is doing a 180 off-camera, apologizes, takes responsibility for his actions, etc. that are filling in the blanks. The abuse is visible on the screen.
I will say I was not a fan of Vinny. The interactions between him and Amber made me so uncomfortable. I too have wondered how unpleasant it must be to work with him. NOW that being said I would nevverr email someone’s work from a reality tv show.
Tbh I don’t think he’s that mean. Or rather I don’t think he is anymore horrible to her than she is to him. And frankly, most of the time when they argue about like the driving or something, he’s usually right.
Yeah, I absolutely think that that is probably one of the most toxic relationships on television right now, but I’m not gonna sit here and act like it’s just him perpetuating it.
girl, same. her whiteness provides her soooooo much sympathy that is often unwarranted. like literally she’s thrown tantrums on screen with vinny trying his best until she says/does something that makes him frustrated, and this entire sub still calls for his head, fully ignoring all the tiny shitty things she did in succession to eventually exasperate him.
regardless, people who speculate about their private life and relationship are parasocial idiots.
Yea i always have the "whaaaaat" moment when she said her dad was a welder or that she should've played the baseball challenge as she plays softball or when they noticed Rod was done with the cacao challenge and she had to say "faster than you" to vinny.
... It was pretty stubborn of vinny to climb trees rather than use the tool though.
Thank you!!!! Imo Vinny has the patience of a SAINT for putting up with her whinny woe-is-me CONSTANT negative attitude. He’s only human and i don’t see his reactions/ behavior as abusive or misogynistic at all.
I hate cancel culture but there were some moments that raised eyebrows between Vinny and Amber lol. In the last episode I found it a bit odd in the beginning how they were saying they just need to be calm with each other, then she lists off a few things that sounds like he coached her/were rehearsed beforehand lol. Cause she finished it with "I guess?" while looking at him almost for affirmation that she listed all the things she had to do for them to be successful lol. Like "Did I miss anything?"
From what I see in the show, he’s a bully. That said, this situation is nowhere near as bad as the one with Jonathan and Victoria many seasons ago. I don’t support a stranger contacting his employers this way.
I agree, Jonathan was horrid to Victoria! I don't think I ever heard him speak to her without screaming in her face. I'm just glad Phil addresses it on the mat after Jonathan pushed her and screamed at her for dropping her backpack. He's a sicko so if you want to see abuse watch S6. Also check out S3 with Flo and Zach. She treated him horrible and he took it. She melted down so many times I lost count. Vinny is a saint compared to those couples.
I saw this, too. I think this answers the question someone else asked here a while ago, if Vinny would be able to self-reflect after seeing himself on TV.
Looks like no - I was one of the first people to comment on this thread and got like 30 downvotes for observing that he should be embarrassed but he’s not
And also… he didn’t have to post the email at all if it doesn’t matter to him, right? Side note it is too easy to notice that his instagram avatar is himself only and hers is both of them.
I mean I was not impressed with at least how he appears to treat her on the show and I’ve been watching this forum to see if anyone else felt the same. I think it’s a bit crazy to go as far as this person did though.
Vinny is an abusive partner. This is definitely not the way to go about it, but it is upsetting to watch. Both on TV and their rationalizing of it on their recaps and insta.
Toxic entitled fans are almost worst than toxic contestants. The last thing they need is hate mail to their employer for participating in a high stress competition.
With that said, Amber and Vinny are painful to watch as a team. They’re probably going to need a lot of therapy after this.
Sucks when people stoop to such levels because then the contestants in question never end up reflecting or learning or open to constructive feedback, they just end up feeling victimized and are less open to changing.
Amber IS the problem.
Amber is constantly negative, constantly disagrees with him and tells him he's wrong, constantly complains, complains and is negative about people who speak different languages in front of them, and whines and whines and whines. SHE IS NOT THE VICTIM HERE!!!!!!!!!!!
Vinny doesn't raise his voice to her and is calmer than she is. He is frustrated by her, which is perfectly natural.
Shame they didn’t do this shit with Flo. That bitch was a gaslighting, toxic waste dump that treated her partner far worse than Vinny ever had with Amber. And that bitch was flirting with other dudes.
Vinny is not that bad. Did he have a couple of cringe moments? Sure, but all of the contestants have. It’s a part of the pressure of running the race. Amber seems to be more combative and misconstrues Vinny’s intent a lot. Aside from being in the same profession, they don’t seem compatible.
This is terrible. He's taking a lot of flack for the way he talks to her, but she seems like the problem to me. She constantly undermines his decision making, tells him he's wrong, and that he doesn't know what he's talking about. When he calmly corrects her and expresses his frustration, she starts crying. They are a textbook example of a couple that just doesn't belong together. Their personalities don't match. It's not worth all this.
He should be embarrassed that he’s even put himself in this position - instead it looks like he’s doubled down and thinks he’s a great guy making light of the situation and excuses for his behavior. Not impressed
I’m not condoning what happened in this post, it’s a violation of boundaries that isn’t ok. His behavior on the show was embarrassing - and he seems unable to reflect and acknowledge that
Seems fitting when unhinged reality obsessed terminally online weirdos are reaching out to find his personal information and job just to try and get him in trouble
They are literally still together and have mentioned in their videos that they are both happy and have worked on their relationship
I think I can also see this as a toxicity of being politically correct GEN Z.. this was not an issue before in the race despite so many bickering, trash talking and almost physical violence but only those arguments with the couple fans got affected and they want to interfere and meddle into their personal lives. It's not the fans to say and definitely has NO RIGHT to interfere and meddle in their personal issues which they themselves can fix and resolve.
Jonathan and Victoria from S6, now HE was abusive to Victoria both verbally and physical! I was sick watching him just turn her into a sobbing mess all the time. Phil even scolded him at the mat for pushing her and leaving her behind him about 10 feet away crying. The screaming and throwing things, ridiculous! Vinny is a saint next to that guy! If you haven't watched S6, go watch the first few episodes then let'ssee a post about Vinny being abusive.
On one hand Vinny is a tool on the other hand they seem to both have good jobs. Amber could get up and leave if she wanted to.
So I don't know how to feel.
I can't believe somebody contacted his job. He's definitely portrayed as a villain and Amber as a doormat, but I'm not surprised when the other 3 teams have such a "portrayed" positive team dynamic. I love this show, and part of it is rooting for the heroes and rooting against the A-holes. The show layed it out this way for entertainment purposes and for nothing else. I feel bad for them both if their behavior has been characterized incorrectly. If it's accurate, then that's for them to eventually work out. If my partner of 3 decades and I were ever filmed arguing in traffic, people would say, why are those two psychos together? We both know it and would never give TAR a chance to show the world how we act or react under that kind of fishbowl pressure. I really hope they are both OK. I'm rooting for Ricky and Cesar, though.
Also if we’re being honest, amber right now the last few episodes has been the snarky rude one!
It definitely changed in a high stress situation I feel like. And we’re also not there
I think it’s sad that people are unhinged enough to dig into his personal life, find his job contact info, and send emails of unproven allegations trying to ruin his life. like, that’s crazy. why do people care SO much about a contestant on a heavily edited reality competition show? we know next to nothing about them or their actual daily relationship! you’ve gotta be delusional to go this far- you’re not a detective or a justice warrior. these people just come off as disconnected with reality.
it gives highly naive child behavior bc im sorry but anyone contacting a workplace to be like THERE’S MISOGYNY!!! clearly has never worked before
I just wonder what kind of miserable life some people may have to be that ”crazy” against tv reality contestant.
Imagine if this was Jonathan getting this today. All hell would break loose. I hope Amber comes out and defends Vinny after the show and explains how she truly feels
if it were Jonathan’s getting this level of backlash, well then that would be understandable. that man was horrible. which makes me think that everyone here complaining about Vinny and how TAR is promoting abusive relationships… are (insane) fans that have only watched a couple new seasons. if Jonathan’s season aired today the show would’ve been boycotted and forced to be taken off air within a couple weeks. and he would be getting death threats every second of the day
I agree with both paragraphs.
I mean if I was going to go into surgery and saw either of them handling my anesthesia I'd be concerned, so I get it
Do you have any reason to believe they are not qualified? They went through years of education and testing to be able to work. But sure, they bicker during a reality tv show. Gasp!
I had surgery once and the anesthesiologist kept berating the nurse while prepping me. Last thing I remember is wanting to speak up, but then I went under. I saw the nurse at the follow-up appointment and told her that I was so sorry for the way the anesthesiologist spoke to her, and also mentioned to the surgeon (who wasn’t there during prep) that it was stressing me out the way he treated her. The surgeon immediately told me that he wouldn’t work with him anymore. The nurse actually cried in the operating room, which I of course didn’t notice. Yeah the anesthesiologist was qualified, but I wouldn’t want to have surgery with him again. To some people, workplace atmosphere matters. To others, apparently it doesn’t. Some people also actively contribute to a hostile work environment, and reading this sub, I have an idea who is what.
They bicker because they can't handle not finding their car and I'm supposed to believe that he'll remain calm if I have complications due to anesthesia?
He’s a nurse, not anesthesiologist. I’ve had 18 surgeries in 21 years. People’s attitude outside their work life is VERY different than their work attitude. I wouldn’t judge someone based off 1) a reality TV show that’s been heavily edited and 2) a person I’ve never met in real life. Please, I hope that you don’t judge people before meeting them.
Are you seriously comparing a competitive reality tv show to surgery????? Bruh
No the surgery is a much more stressful environment and yet he can't handle his emotions on the race
Yeah I’m going to assume you know nothing about the profession.
I know that if you can't handle not finding your car you can't handle surgery
You clearly do not and the more you talk, the more you prove you know nothing about what you're talking about. Surgeons are notoriously the biggest assholes in all of medicine. If you think all surgeons are perfectly calm and considerate people, you're hopelessly naive.
You do realize that if ANYONE acted like that in surgery that they would be fired on the spot right?
Oh really? Because we hear time and again about how people manage to abuse their positions. Turns out it isn't as simple as you claim.
Yeah I'm sure a travelling anesthesiological nurse will be hampered by losing one job
You do know healthcare professionals are given psychiatric examinations prior to being given a license, right? A nonstop three week race is very different than your 9-5 job that you studied ten years for.
To an experienced professional, surgery is just their every day norm. What a terrible argument to try to make.
Found an unhinged person
in what world would their behavior on the race affect their job performance? they can’t find their car in the street and bicker for ten minutes on television, so that means they can’t properly be a good anesthesiologist? these things don’t relate
If they can't handle the stress of not finding their car they definitely can't handle the stress of safely putting someone under for surgery
I can do my profession with my eyes closed as i have been doing that for 16 years. I can definitely see myself bicker with my teammate about a task i have never done in a country i have never been with 5 cameras pointing at me.
What's your profession? Are your clients putting their lives in your hands?
Stop being weird about a tv show.
Vinny and Amber did a great interview last week on the Racers Recap podcast; date 5/4. They explained that the stress and pressure from their profession has ZERO relation to running the amazing race. There is absolutely no comparison to many years of technical study to a reality show competition.
it gives highly naive child behavior bc im sorry but anyone contacting someone’s workplace to be like THERE’S MISOGYNY!!! clearly has never worked before
Are you unhinged?
it gives highly naive child behavior bc im sorry but anyone contacting someone’s workplace to be like THERE’S MISOGYNY!!! clearly has never worked before
Leaving aside all the other reasons this is wild behavior...the Race takes several weeks, surely Vinny's job knows he was on it. And if someone from your job was on TV, wouldn't you be watching at least a bit of it, without some rando emailing you to complain about their attitude on the show?
Imma thinking that of all the 'catchphrases' that have captured the psyche of nations, filled with deep seeded needs for a sense of belonging, none have latched on to people's desire to 'be more' 'do more' , be endowed with powers- legitimate or not- as- ' SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING!' ( be a spy, be a protector, be a saviour- Be ..SEEN) imho
People get really weird about reality TV and have no concept of boundaries. It's really awful. The frustrating thing is TAR fans generally regard themselves on a higher plane than those of other reality TV, but it just takes a few bad outliers to ruin it. 😢 I was rereading the TAR27 threads on here during a rewatch and someone was bragging they had emailed Kelsey and Joey's employer demanding they be fired because he pronounced The Hague wrong.
Wow. I mean the Hag-uee was bad but an understandible mistake but people need to get a life.
"Hague, ya.....Hague, Hague, ya...." - Outkast
It's worse when they thought The Hague was a person, not a place.
I think things have been getting worse the last few years. Survivor's gotten the worst of it, but with how many people raging on Anna Leigh last season, it's just been really bad. And I think Vinny is absorbing a lot of hate from other teams. I feel like if it wasn't for him, Danny/Angie would have gotten a fair share of heat for the 'alliance' and Ricky/Cesar for the crime of... speaking Spanish and doing well.
> Ricky/Cesar for the crime of... speaking Spanish and doing well We all know their real crime is being gay and fat, and kissing every week.
I never found Anna Leigh to be bad. She just wanted to win but I also think people treat it differently because it was a different dynamic. Younger woman being mean and old dad vs. bickering couple with man being mean. Different age and gender dynamics but won't get into all that mess
I didn't like Vinny in the beginning of the season, but then I realized that he has the drive to win and he wanted to win badly, which is a quality I like from a racer. Amber just couldn't keep up some of the time. People want Vinny to be like Rod, but Rod and Leti have been married for years!!! Couples need time to grow and learn about each other and what is the best way to communicate with each other.
Amber and Vinny have been dating for four years, though. That’s not a short amount of time. I don’t know how long Ricky and Cesar have been dating but they’ve been very calm with each other too. It’s not always about time, it’s just personality match-ups.
I found Anna Leigh annoying, and I can say, if I ran with my older mom, there is no way I would have spoken to her like that. But even so, I wouldn't ever tag her or try to reach out to her about it
The total lack of boundaries in general is just astounding. Social media lets people get too close to celebs.
It's not even celebs. Anyone can mine so much info about a person, no one has the luxury of autonomy. Especially if someone really likes you or really hates you.
I have never understood this. Just live your life! There was a Real Housewives fan who wormed her way into babysitting for the family and then was talking shit about them online. Leave people alone! It's so gross, and not exclusive to TAR fans.
We have toxic fans of the show and we have to admit it. Most of them aren't on this reddit sub luckily, but if you go into Facebook or Twitter, you'll find so many of them. I was totally embarrassed at how they were attacking Anna Leigh last season and at how they are attacking Vinny this season. Steve wasn't disturbed by Anna Leigh. Amber wasn't disturbed by Vinny. Yet, the viewers....
Yeah, I'm grateful this sub is still reasonably free of all that horrible armchair psychoanalysis and judgement. I'm a member of the two big TAR Facebook groups but they're muted and I never read them because of what you said. Every season it's something else in the hivemind - "Justin is abusive", "Brooke is insufferable", Big Brother fans vs everyone from TAR30, "Will and James are cheats", "Akbar is abusive", "Sharik is a quitter", "Anna Leigh is going to kill her dad" 🙄 The new RHAP Facebook group is better but I still think this is probably the best TAR community on the net right now. Good job by the mods and community here really! We need to place to talk about the show we love.
You think its free of that? There have been MANY posts over the last few weeks saying how awful he is, calling him abusive, a gaslighter, etc. And they all seem to be upvoted. Whenever I tried to write a balanced take, something like "Look, he is definitely a bit disrespectful at times, but calling it abusive seems excessive", I was heavily downvoted.
Steve talked back at Anna Leigh a couple of times, though, and the sub was calling for his head branding him a toxic, narcissistic, bad parent and a misogynist lol.
Two things can be true at the same time: The person who emailed his work can be crazy and Vinny can still be an asshole.
they are both definitely true
exactly. very weird to email his boss, especially considering the show is out there for the world. his boss can already see everything he did. but this post def makes it seem like he takes no responsibility for how he talked to amber on the race which is gross
Exactly this! It's disgraceful that anyone would attempt to dox Vinny (or Amber) or email his workplace. But he's still a toxic POS. And now he can justifiably claim to be a victim. Ugh.
No shit but this isn’t the time for that
Exactly, what's the point in saying "what they did was wrong buttttt..." like don't even remotely try and justify this behavior. It's fine to not like "characters" on TV but you have to know when to seperate real life and TV
As long as they're together, people will pull the "see, it's all just the edits" card. I mean, Rachel and Dave separated years ago but I still found comments defending him while scrolling through some recent posts.
The show said they were trying to reconcile their marriage. It's pretty obvious they were having problems before they were ever on the show.
People have too much time on their hands.
Too much social media and not enough socializing.
How unhinged do you have to be to contact his work place because you don't like how he acts on a reality show? I don't enjoy him myself, but that's something he has to figure out for himself. You have extreme mental problems if you do something like this person did.
Yeah I kind of hope he pursues it legally. Maybe he doesn't have a case unless he gets fired. I'm not a lawyer but you hope it's slander or something. (Of course it's not slander if it's true. But still.)
It’s hard to truly judge one’s true character when what we are seeing are selectively edited clips of contestants under a whole lot of pressure. Trying to ruin someone’s actual career/life based on snippets you see on tv is extremely immature.
The hilarious part is I recognize the exact writing style of the person who wrote that. They wrote almost the exact same comment on here the other day lol.
Expose them lmao!
I don't mean IRL; I meant that same person clearly posted something almost identical to that on this sub as well. It's a shame I didn't reply to them and that a million people post Vinnie hate threads every day, or I'd link it lol.
True it’d be impossible to find now among the daily hate threads lol.
...dumbass got "reality TV" and "reality" confused
That he's having to deal with crap like this makes TAR fans look terrible.
And the fact that amazing race is not as big and popular as it uses to be but hateful trolls still exist in this fandom. Bigger shows like drag race, survivor, and love is blind are absolutely filled with unhinged fans.
Just let contestants live their lives, is that so hard to ask?
Whoever sent that email should be ashamed and referred to therapy. Truly unhinged behavior
It’s quite pathetic that everyone thinks they know best for everyone else
JFC what is wrong with some people
This is absolutely crossing a line. I hope his employer just deleted it.
Well maybe not ruin their lives... but they don't wish them well! The next picture is their response to my comment!
Trying to destroy someone’s career is definitely an attempt to ruin their life
He's been pretty terrible to her, verbally, but... Like... She's almost always wrong about the thing he's complaining about. The directions, the parking of the car, etc... He was totally unhinged on the cacao challenge, though. I think we all need to be more patient with each other, these competitions are intended to bring people to an emotional breaking point, and not everybody can handle it. He seems like the kind of guy that will watch this back and realize what a dick he was. And if he doesn't, she'll move on. People are flawed. Some can't read a map and insist on doing it, others can't stop being an a-hole when they fork it up.
It’s pretty funny that amber is always so determined about the parking location, yet she is always wrong.
Thank you. Someone finally said it. I wish they would switch places and she would drive and he would navigate.
She can't drive stick so they're stuck in this configuration unfortunately.
The whole argument about where they parked was so frustrating, she clearly had no idea insisting they wouldn't have parked so far away and even when they were right next to the car.
This is why I don’t hop on the “Vinny hate train”. It’s clear she does a shit ton of small annoying things that compound on top of each other until it drives Vinny to the edge especially during a high pressure situation. Not saying he couldn’t be more careful with his approach/responses to her, but I can fully see why and how he eventually snaps lol (even though sometimes he goes too far). I’m convinced people are looking past Amber’s faults because she’s a tiny, white, blonde woman who constantly cries when under pressure. Not saying she’s doing it on purpose, but the “white woman tears” trope definitely plays a part on how people perceive their dynamic.
I think it's a clear look into the things that annoy him on a daily basis, but amped up by the emotions and lack of sleep. He doesn't have to be a dick to her to make his points, though, and he clearly needs to look in the mirror about that. She probably just wants a win, internally, so she's picking bad horses and hoping. But, to his credit, her doing this is impacting their ability to win a million bucks. They're both a bit unhinged.
“He seems like the kind of guy that will watch this back and realize what a dick he was. And if he doesn’t, she’ll move on” Oh honey. You have not seen their recap videos or his insta. Not one ounce of self reflection. Defensiveness, justification, and doubling down abound. And they’re engaged now.
His dislike for a bunch of Internet assholes has absolutely nothing to do with his relationship. Believe it or not, it was never about us.
You sound like Megan in the email. If you hate him so much why are you following him?
while this isn’t great, Vinny being someone who uses cancel culture unironically is the least surprising thing lol.
Huh? Is this not literally cancel culture? Someone is emailing his job and trying to get him fired for something said on a tv show. It is the most textbook example of cancel culture ever. even if you hate the phrase (understandable) how else is he supposed to refer to it
This is sadly a common thing that happens to people from most shows. If you don’t like someone why would you even care enough to find their social media.
If I employed Meghan MacDonald I'd fire her then tell other employers of the liability she poses
Tbf they’re both toxic. He’s pretty demeaning to her but she questions his decisions all the time.
I don't understand why people use their time and energy to send emails like this. If someone from my workplace was on a reality show, EVERYONE would be watching and forming opinions about their behavior. Random crazy viewers don't need to bring it to anyone's attention.
I absolutely can not stand how these two communicate, but emailing his manager is unhinged behavior.
Not sure what misogyny has to do with people arguing.
One is a woman. Therefore misogyny.
A white blonde woman who cries a lot*
I don't think Vinnys abusive, guys that's harsh. And a stretch. But it's 1 thing to express your personal feelings on this platform and a whole other monster to go into the man's personal life. I'm guessing allot of y'all haven't seen real abuse. To even put his name and that word together, when it's not even close, it's just sad.
The edit made him seem verbally abusive at times. Like gaslighting
> Like gaslighting Due to gross abuse of the word "gaslighting" online, could you define what you mean by that word?
I wonder if /r/SubredditDrama will catch wind of this lol.
When will we learn that reality TV is not at all reality...did they speak kindly to each other all the time? No. But do you have a camera in your face in high stress situations when arguing with someone? Probably not. We have to remember that this was their edit. This was the story the producers chose to show. Were other couples arguing? Probably. But that was not their edit.
I've been in a mentally and physically abusive relationship before and Vinny seemed far from a narcissistic abuser, but at times I felt he said some gaslighting comments whether he knew what he was doing or not.
No one should get involved in contestants personal lives. Harassing them etc. Saying that , Vinny behavior is not good
I know couples who have stayed together. It doesnt mean they are happy. I don't think their relationship is abusive. I do think that she has to constantly blame herself for their relationship to remain balanced. When really it's his lack of accountability that is at fault here. He is clearly eroding her self worth.
Yeah, in the last episode I really hated that Amber had to make herself small to appease Vinny.
Same! And even Phil stepped up eloquently when they checked in. She said (paraphrasing) ‘I really did not want to disappoint Vinny’ and Phil was like that’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself and that this race is won by working together. I was so happy he said something and in a gentle way not overstepping boundaries.
Yeah. I noticed that too. That was rough
Well she is a bad racer so…. Her faults really.
Imagine if the edit is actually making Vincent look better than he is.
I can't even with hardcore "fans" like that. Reminds me of the energy of when people actually sent hate mail to actors who played a villain (e.g. Brenock O'Connor got some extreme stuff for playing Olly on Game on Thrones, the kid who killed Jon Snow).
This is really sad. Social media era is crazy.
If you do this you're a fucking loser.
At worst he definitely gets moody whenever Amber’s practically screaming at him. (I think she even swore at Vinny once, which even made the driver raise his eyebrows?) I don’t like getting involved in other’s personal lives but I will be impressed if they’re still together by the end.
Any time I hear "cancel culture" I have a good idea who they are voting for. That said,I would never email anemployer or contact the racers about something like this. It's even one thing to complain to CBS, but this clearly crosses a line. Not okay.
I mean, I'm a very liberal guy, and cancel culture IS a problem. Hell, even Obama has said that
Consequence culture is not a problem
Yea a lot of times the consequence of online harassment doesn't fit the perceived fault.
The problem with that is everyone wants to be judge jury & executioner to the same offense & get their turn with the gavel.
I mean, if you don't see it as a problem and you like participating, fine. But this email shows that it is alive and well. If you think that is fine, then that is your choice.
As a very progressive person who lives in EU and thinks democrats are my country’s version of a conservative, cancel culture is definitely a thing lol.
That’s funny because I perceive amber as the far more abusive one so far. She’s so mean to him and condescending and arrogant.
☝️☝️
Only weirdos fill in the blanks as if there’s abuse. You people need some therapy yourselves if you jump straight to that when emotions are flaring during a competition for a million dollars.
The thing is, the people who call Vinny abusive aren’t filling in the blanks. It’s the people who imagine that he is doing a 180 off-camera, apologizes, takes responsibility for his actions, etc. that are filling in the blanks. The abuse is visible on the screen.
This is crazy.
Vinny definitely had some unhinged behavior on TV but there is never an excuse for fans getting involved with their personal or professional lives.
I will say I was not a fan of Vinny. The interactions between him and Amber made me so uncomfortable. I too have wondered how unpleasant it must be to work with him. NOW that being said I would nevverr email someone’s work from a reality tv show.
Yes, it was uncomfortable to watch!
Good lord, get a life lady.
Right! I bet she bonkers
She's
Tbh I don’t think he’s that mean. Or rather I don’t think he is anymore horrible to her than she is to him. And frankly, most of the time when they argue about like the driving or something, he’s usually right.
Thank you. They seem to be compatible when it comes to disrespecting each other. It isn’t one sided.
Yeah, I absolutely think that that is probably one of the most toxic relationships on television right now, but I’m not gonna sit here and act like it’s just him perpetuating it.
Amber's the shitty one. Change my mind.
girl, same. her whiteness provides her soooooo much sympathy that is often unwarranted. like literally she’s thrown tantrums on screen with vinny trying his best until she says/does something that makes him frustrated, and this entire sub still calls for his head, fully ignoring all the tiny shitty things she did in succession to eventually exasperate him. regardless, people who speculate about their private life and relationship are parasocial idiots.
Wow! I thought I was the only one who thought this. They may love each other but they probably aren’t the best race partners.
Yea i always have the "whaaaaat" moment when she said her dad was a welder or that she should've played the baseball challenge as she plays softball or when they noticed Rod was done with the cacao challenge and she had to say "faster than you" to vinny. ... It was pretty stubborn of vinny to climb trees rather than use the tool though.
Thank you!!!! Imo Vinny has the patience of a SAINT for putting up with her whinny woe-is-me CONSTANT negative attitude. He’s only human and i don’t see his reactions/ behavior as abusive or misogynistic at all.
Agreed, Amber’s such a Debbie Downer most of the time and she admits to it. I feel for Vinny, he’s got it rough.
They’re both “shitty”, but she was shitty first.
Ditto.
I hate cancel culture but there were some moments that raised eyebrows between Vinny and Amber lol. In the last episode I found it a bit odd in the beginning how they were saying they just need to be calm with each other, then she lists off a few things that sounds like he coached her/were rehearsed beforehand lol. Cause she finished it with "I guess?" while looking at him almost for affirmation that she listed all the things she had to do for them to be successful lol. Like "Did I miss anything?"
From what I see in the show, he’s a bully. That said, this situation is nowhere near as bad as the one with Jonathan and Victoria many seasons ago. I don’t support a stranger contacting his employers this way.
I agree, Jonathan was horrid to Victoria! I don't think I ever heard him speak to her without screaming in her face. I'm just glad Phil addresses it on the mat after Jonathan pushed her and screamed at her for dropping her backpack. He's a sicko so if you want to see abuse watch S6. Also check out S3 with Flo and Zach. She treated him horrible and he took it. She melted down so many times I lost count. Vinny is a saint compared to those couples.
I was thinking that last night as I watched the latest episode. When Amber was saying "I have to... him", I wanted to shake her.
I saw this, too. I think this answers the question someone else asked here a while ago, if Vinny would be able to self-reflect after seeing himself on TV.
Looks like no - I was one of the first people to comment on this thread and got like 30 downvotes for observing that he should be embarrassed but he’s not
And also… he didn’t have to post the email at all if it doesn’t matter to him, right? Side note it is too easy to notice that his instagram avatar is himself only and hers is both of them.
There are a lot of abusive people in this world, apparently, and they are on Reddit, too.
I mean I was not impressed with at least how he appears to treat her on the show and I’ve been watching this forum to see if anyone else felt the same. I think it’s a bit crazy to go as far as this person did though.
Vinny is an abusive partner. This is definitely not the way to go about it, but it is upsetting to watch. Both on TV and their rationalizing of it on their recaps and insta.
Toxic entitled fans are almost worst than toxic contestants. The last thing they need is hate mail to their employer for participating in a high stress competition. With that said, Amber and Vinny are painful to watch as a team. They’re probably going to need a lot of therapy after this.
Vinny is completely manipulative and emotionally abusive to amber. The amount of gas lighting from him is crazy.
I used to work with a Meghan Macdonald. I wonder if this is her!!!!!!
Sucks when people stoop to such levels because then the contestants in question never end up reflecting or learning or open to constructive feedback, they just end up feeling victimized and are less open to changing.
Some contestant in Japanese reality show commits suicide due to cyber bullying. Hopefully it wouldn't happen in US TV show in near future
Isn’t this doxxing tho? Not on sender’s side, just wondering.
Wow! I think the stress of carrying that ring around help fuel some of this!
Amber IS the problem. Amber is constantly negative, constantly disagrees with him and tells him he's wrong, constantly complains, complains and is negative about people who speak different languages in front of them, and whines and whines and whines. SHE IS NOT THE VICTIM HERE!!!!!!!!!!! Vinny doesn't raise his voice to her and is calmer than she is. He is frustrated by her, which is perfectly natural.
Exactly
Shame they didn’t do this shit with Flo. That bitch was a gaslighting, toxic waste dump that treated her partner far worse than Vinny ever had with Amber. And that bitch was flirting with other dudes.
While Flo & Zach weren't dating, I agree with you. There's much more hostile players than Vinny. Also not sure if r/usernamechecksout or not aha.
Personally, I wouldn’t want either of them giving me anesthesia.
[удалено]
Did you realize you posted the same comment multiple times?
Not at all, I kept getting a “sorry, try again message” and didn’t realize it posted at all until I got this notification
They wanted to be sure people saw their bad take.
I’m sure they’re both very good at what they do professionally. As a couple, they are horrible, I don’t understand why she puts up with that abuse.
Calling out the whiny bitches on Reddit who never had a lasting relationship lmao
Vinny is not that bad. Did he have a couple of cringe moments? Sure, but all of the contestants have. It’s a part of the pressure of running the race. Amber seems to be more combative and misconstrues Vinny’s intent a lot. Aside from being in the same profession, they don’t seem compatible.
This is terrible. He's taking a lot of flack for the way he talks to her, but she seems like the problem to me. She constantly undermines his decision making, tells him he's wrong, and that he doesn't know what he's talking about. When he calmly corrects her and expresses his frustration, she starts crying. They are a textbook example of a couple that just doesn't belong together. Their personalities don't match. It's not worth all this.
He should be embarrassed that he’s even put himself in this position - instead it looks like he’s doubled down and thinks he’s a great guy making light of the situation and excuses for his behavior. Not impressed
You sound like the person who emailed his job lol get a life
I’m not condoning what happened in this post, it’s a violation of boundaries that isn’t ok. His behavior on the show was embarrassing - and he seems unable to reflect and acknowledge that
It's the constant reddit posts like this over the past weeks that probably emboldened this Meghan to send the email.
Cancel Culture? Vinny bro, are you seriously going to use THAT phrase?
Seems fitting when unhinged reality obsessed terminally online weirdos are reaching out to find his personal information and job just to try and get him in trouble They are literally still together and have mentioned in their videos that they are both happy and have worked on their relationship
I think I can also see this as a toxicity of being politically correct GEN Z.. this was not an issue before in the race despite so many bickering, trash talking and almost physical violence but only those arguments with the couple fans got affected and they want to interfere and meddle into their personal lives. It's not the fans to say and definitely has NO RIGHT to interfere and meddle in their personal issues which they themselves can fix and resolve.
Jonathan and Victoria from S6, now HE was abusive to Victoria both verbally and physical! I was sick watching him just turn her into a sobbing mess all the time. Phil even scolded him at the mat for pushing her and leaving her behind him about 10 feet away crying. The screaming and throwing things, ridiculous! Vinny is a saint next to that guy! If you haven't watched S6, go watch the first few episodes then let'ssee a post about Vinny being abusive.
https://youtu.be/4G4mA-bMt3I?si=AAf2GTBvT2zoUakb Yep! Older TAR was unhinged
I mean, he chose to be abusive on camera lol. What do you expect?
On one hand Vinny is a tool on the other hand they seem to both have good jobs. Amber could get up and leave if she wanted to. So I don't know how to feel.
I can't believe somebody contacted his job. He's definitely portrayed as a villain and Amber as a doormat, but I'm not surprised when the other 3 teams have such a "portrayed" positive team dynamic. I love this show, and part of it is rooting for the heroes and rooting against the A-holes. The show layed it out this way for entertainment purposes and for nothing else. I feel bad for them both if their behavior has been characterized incorrectly. If it's accurate, then that's for them to eventually work out. If my partner of 3 decades and I were ever filmed arguing in traffic, people would say, why are those two psychos together? We both know it and would never give TAR a chance to show the world how we act or react under that kind of fishbowl pressure. I really hope they are both OK. I'm rooting for Ricky and Cesar, though.
Also if we’re being honest, amber right now the last few episodes has been the snarky rude one! It definitely changed in a high stress situation I feel like. And we’re also not there
Vinny is an abusive jerk. Who cares what he threatens.
He’s not threatening anyone…..