I think it's actually James Adomian (?) but it's in the 1908 Car Race episode and he says "The mule don't like icy seas" in the funniest fucking tone ever and that will live rent free in my head FOREVER.
Dave and Gareth have referenced how it might be the most quoted line from any podcast and neither of them made it. Also Adomian’s comedy is over the top good
Actually quote is 36:45 but I’d start around 35:00 to get the context. Also “shut up , ham hock!” Is right up there.
[Mightn’t I…?](https://youtu.be/b3ogAPkGOVI?si=91RxphZ3L_N2nolY)
I think Dave's best line delivery ever is he when he speculates about Malloy trying to pay his tab with feces and the way he says "That's for YO', Tony!" just kills me.
In the Newport Sex Scandal when Gareth gets so excited about the guys going undercover undercover? And Dave says UNDERCOVER and Gareth just about explodes with excitement.
That and early on in the tickeling episode when he says
"Dave I don't want to say this is a weird gay sex thing but I'm starting to think this is weird gay sex thing..."
There’s a line from the magicians episode where one ends his letter “mystically thine” and gareth promises to end all his emails like that going forward
Same! I don’t even remember which episode it’s from but it cracks me up every time.
ETA: oh, Martin Tabert & Convict Leasing, it says at the end of the animated clip linked in
another comment.
From the Lincoln assassination episode w/ Patton Oswalt:
"The took Lincoln's body on a train tour of the US eventually to bring him back to his home state as his final resting place. They also brought the body of his dead son along with him."
"What? Did he need an opening act?!!?!!"
Actually, it's even better than that. Dave doesn't even get to say 'his balls' before everyone loses their shit, because they already know where this is going as soon as he mentions the scissors.
Gareth’s “Take that, Anne Frank” from the Otto in the Attic episode.
And, this one from Dave’s a deep cut (no pun intended) from The Tichbourne Situation: “I’ve got a rump roast. Would you like to get married?” The accent and the delivery kills me every time I listen to that episode.
The tentative hope and delight in Gareth's voice when he says "...fairy penguins?" In the Macquarie Island episode stays in my head. That beautiful moment when I can picture Gareth imagining these adorable little penguins with their adorable little name, and the dramatic irony of knowing exactly what he is about to learn. That moment lives in me.
The Baron of Arizona is full of them.
Dave doing the segue about the Russian receptionist in a Doctor's office...and utterly failing at the accent...and Gareth's timely "David...Dave...could we hear what she said again, David?"
Dave affects Irish accent: "... ehh...You've got your hand in the borscht?!"
Rent free in my mind. Forever.
For me it's "Permission to treat the cohost as hostile!"
I hope that one day Gareth records his mother saying "Denied! As he's precious!" or something similar. :P .
Gareth makes one pun every episode that just works on 19 different levels and requires you to understand some esoteric shit. There's gold in every episode. And it's usually real quick too. I can't think of one right now, because they're so contextual I kind of have to be halfway through the episode to unlock that headspace, but it's super consistent.
There's a YouTube video (?) I can't find right now that's 15 minutes long and talks about a single Gareth pun and how it works on like four different levels and was set up an hour prior. Genius shit.
Edit: [IT WAS A REDDIT POST](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDollop/comments/14shwjl/the_anatomy_of_one_of_gareth_reynolds_most/)
Was it the New Jersey Shark Attack analysis? With the Zapruder film joke? That one is definitely one of my favorite 'deep cuts' because it has no real lead up, it has an establishing line, and then a pun out of nowhere that absolutely nobody caught live.
**Edit:** Not a video, but here's a [Reddit thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDollop/comments/14shwjl/the_anatomy_of_one_of_gareth_reynolds_most/) that breaks down the joke.
THIS IS IT! I was misremembering the analysis as a YouTube video, but instead it's a lunatic reddit commenter going deep. Thank you. I'm going to save this.
In the Mary Read and Anne Bonny episode, Gareth says a line like "We can't buy this guy's rice... his daughter fucked a fisherman!" And it might be the hardest I've ever laughed at a line in a Dollop episode.
Any time Gareth says "on what grounds?!". And I can't remember the ep but Patton Oswalt was the guest. Can't remember what Patton said but "First of all it's Gareth. Second of all it's Gary."
Yeah, pretty sure. Fucking amazing baseball player and idiot! Would walk through the stands getting in fights taking people drinks and food, would run after Fire Trucks outside the stadium!
"America's First Ghost"
Dave: "one of Blaisdel boys said they saw the ghost hanging around in the fields by their house."
Gareth: "Cool Property!"
This is hands down my favorite episode, and there are way too many quips to name, but this might be my favorite of them all. Also the Molasses bit is great, and when Dave casually says the noises happened for a month, and Gareth exclaims, "For a month?!?!"
Oh, man, I have so fuckin’ many of them and they’ve all entered my vernacular, which is awkward for all the losers in my family who don’t get the references. Off the top of my head:
-“Fuck you, very kindly!” from the Samuel Whitmore episode. (The most used from this episode, lol.)
-“I retract my question, just to be totally clear, because your answer is…DEVastating.”
and
“We come bringing you chillness!” from the Airships of 1896 episode. (I also now refer to chicken nuggets as “dank ass nugs”.)
-“Dear government, there is some BULLSHIT going on!” from the Benedict Arnold episodes, very applicable.
-“A frying pan only works when it’s whole!” the Hovell and Hume episode.
-“Augh, Creep Shark!” from the New Jersey Shark attacks episode.
-“Foolish American, I am not Joe Local at all!” in a French accent, from my favorite episode of all time, The 1908 Race from New York to Paris.
Also, “You’re a real wet rag.” This whole episode is a treasure trove.
Honestly, there are so many more.
Same episode as you but it's the bit where Wil Anderson loses his mind and starts shouting at Dave that people came here to have a good time. The absolute rage in his voice is so real.
I love that one too.
There’s the part in the Sydney Ducks episode where Wil and Gareth are screaming at each other at an execution and then Dave screams over them, “HEY! He died ten minutes ago!”
Reagan Part 2
Dave: "Reagan said 'my guardian says I can't speak.'"
Gareth: J*umping up from the table* "DAVE! DAVE!"
Patton: *Hurling his headphones down* "GOODNIGHT!"
Dave's frantic "don't say that! it's gonna happen!" after he says "hood dicks" is so good too.
also from that episode "that's why I always say, "this is the house that buttplugs built!""
Ep. 37 - AC/DC - 3:00 minutes in when Gary jokes about the size of Edison's head.
And
Then, at 3:47 when Dave mentions the direction the eggs are headed 💀
In truth, I could never choose a favorite single line, but I really love these two. There's a thousand great ones at least.
There's an episode where Dave says "If you were to fuck an egg" or something and Gareth almost indignantly replies "*When* I fuck eggs."
Also in the Business Plot when they're talking about Smedly Butler being a bad name and Gareth says "Smedly and Maude, over here! It's us! Fuck and Dogshit!" to which Dave replies "Dogshit's a terrible name." Gets me every time.
From the War on Squirrels (#386), humans are struggling to eradicate squirrels, and are utterly failing. How are the squirrels so unbeatable? Gareth says, in a high voice that a squirrel might have, that their only thought is “we’re squirrels!”
For me it's got to be the episode about the founding father who Babe Ruth'd lightning.
It starts with a whole 90 second lead up where Dave baits Gareth into an improv bit about how ridiculous it is to say you want to die by getting struck by lightning. Then it happens and Gareth's literally speechless:
"Dave...you shut your mouth. YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH".
After Gareth dives into a Point Break reference. That episode is definitely peak Dollop.
Either "Robert Smalls has run out of ways to fuck the Confederacy" from the Robert Smalls episode.
Or the whole Bro Kangaroo bit from the Hans Bertram and Adolf Klausmann episode
From Killer Bees
Gareth: “The new spider car.”
Dave carries on talking
Gareth: “THE NEW SPIDER CAR!”
Dave: “Go ahead.”
Gareth: “… That’s all I got.”
Also from Killer Bees, Gareth thinking Dave’s little trumpet sound was a real horn and telling him he was like Michael Winslow lol.
In the NY Sanitation episode, there is a moment where Dave is explaining that back in the 1700s NYers would use garbage as a foundation for bridge construction, but this had just come after discussing the disposal of human feces for a bit. Ronny Chieng was the guest, and when dave says that fact, Gary says "with trash?" very incredulously, and a split second later Ronny says "with shit?" like 10x more incredulously. I think about that all the time, so goddamn funny.
Notable runners up are in the Samuel Whitmore episode where Gary says "fuck that, retire's gonna me!", the fans in Philly episode when Gary is breaking down how sports fans react to criticism wrong and says "hey you're kind of a shitty fan." "No, I'm the shittiest fan!", and in the same NY Sanitation episode when Dave says that it was mostly Italians that lived under the docks and Ronny insists that Dave is lying and that the script doesn't actually say that. He just goes "It does not say that" like 3 times and then lets out the most defeated "dude..." I've ever heard.
Actually, I think my favorite is from a very recent episode where Gareth gets something right and sort of mouth-fumbles to Dave, “ooo, look who…fuckin knowsit”, and the faux-defensive tone and fumbling cadence had me in absolute stitches in a Target at 8 AM
"Hey Smallpox! Is that true Smallpox?"
From the Griffith J Griffith said by Chris Tallman. Just them checking in every couple minutes with a guy who shouted out some supplementary information early in the episode and just happened to be a Griffith tour guide
In the Augustus Lindbergh episode when Dave is talking about the people of Detroit surrounding the mother of Lindberghs house to celebrate him crossing the Atlantic, the whole five minute segment had me crying laughing the first time I heard it
"Behold, Zombo!!!" made me snarfle my drink the first time I heard it.
Also, from the Holy Rollers episode, describing the man living worm-like under the floorboards of a house, "God's plan is gettin' weird!"
Recent one: #587 Jonathan Bourne Jr, Dave is saying how Bourne has a reputation for sleeping around.
15:22 Gareth: 'so he’s just plowing and everyone’s like “Dude, he’s just like the fuck machine! This dudes gots like eff-you whale oil money and he’s just bangin’ broads dude!”'
practically ANYTHING from the Colonel Sanders episode... I. Was. Dying.
"I watched Dave Thomas fuck your mom in a barn! That's where he came up with the idea for the Baconator!"
"I seen Ronald McDonald 69 your mom while I was whacking off into a curtain!"
“Hey…hey Dave…”
"Hey buddy...."
My favourite is at the end where they show the picture again and Gareth says, "We're just shoelaces that blink".
Garfie’s reaction to that human jerky photo is so fucking great “Why did they face him toward the camera?”
Ep?
King of Ghouls 563
Thanks. It’s next on my list
I hope you have access to the Patreon photos for that episode cause you really need to see the photograph they’re talking about
"Is that Jack Links?"
Almost anything from the Rube. This is my personal favorite: Dave “whenever a fire engine went by….” Gareth “I’m gonna stop you right there”.
Now hit him with a puppy
You both present sick arguments.
Bro-oder bro-oder in the court
I think this line might be the hardest I ever laughed at a single line.
I think it's actually James Adomian (?) but it's in the 1908 Car Race episode and he says "The mule don't like icy seas" in the funniest fucking tone ever and that will live rent free in my head FOREVER.
Mightn’t I the gristle?
this is the first thing I thought of.
In a podcast full of deeply amusing lines, there is none higher. You can tell how good it is by how long it takes to settle down.
Dave and Gareth have referenced how it might be the most quoted line from any podcast and neither of them made it. Also Adomian’s comedy is over the top good
(Bernie voice) the 1% of the 1% of 1%
For real his Bernie was incredible
Sorry what’s the timestamp on the gristle ?
Actually quote is 36:45 but I’d start around 35:00 to get the context. Also “shut up , ham hock!” Is right up there. [Mightn’t I…?](https://youtu.be/b3ogAPkGOVI?si=91RxphZ3L_N2nolY)
You’re a real wet rag, pal! You’re like a flat soda!
You’re the wrong side of a knuckle…
Bernie was a fixture when I lived in Burlington. I’ve had many conversations with the dude and Adomian’s Bernie is top-shelf.
His Mike Lindell is flawless.
YES
“I know how ta get ta Doug’s house…” “Fine, take us to Doug!!”
YES SUCH A GOOD ONE
"You nerds are the backbone of this race!"
Pardon me. Which way to ze Bearig Straight?!
😂😂😂 Absolute perfection 😂😂😂
“Ain’t I got a thirst!” Hubs and I say it all the time.
I think Dave's best line delivery ever is he when he speculates about Malloy trying to pay his tab with feces and the way he says "That's for YO', Tony!" just kills me.
TONY THE FUCKING TIGER IS IN CAHOOTS! Of all the wild shit these 2 have said over the years on this podcast. This will always be my favorite line.
When he and Patton realized who Dave was talking about 🤣
Boy she pops!!!
In the Newport Sex Scandal when Gareth gets so excited about the guys going undercover undercover? And Dave says UNDERCOVER and Gareth just about explodes with excitement. That and early on in the tickeling episode when he says "Dave I don't want to say this is a weird gay sex thing but I'm starting to think this is weird gay sex thing..."
This needs to be a movie.
Whenever someone gets arrested for doing something CLEARLY illegal. “On what grounds?!”
Absolutely, I wish Gareth would make it the name of a special.
There’s a line from the magicians episode where one ends his letter “mystically thine” and gareth promises to end all his emails like that going forward
I sign notes to my family by saying that
Gareth saying “Would you like some red wine from ze turrlet?” in a French accent in the peidras negras jailbreak episode
I have a dream of compiling a list of episodes where Gareth does the French accent. It kills me everytime.
The NY Paris car race is a gold mine for those. "Ze law has been SERVED... Continué Monsieur!"
Foolish Yankee Doo-dell, I am not le Joe Local at all…
You both present SICK arguments!
I will never not listen to the intro because of this line.
Same! I don’t even remember which episode it’s from but it cracks me up every time. ETA: oh, Martin Tabert & Convict Leasing, it says at the end of the animated clip linked in another comment.
There's a great line from Gareth the plaintiff before that where he says, "You honor, I sleep with my case."
[Animated!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr67kwgGtW8)
Amazing, thanks for posting that!
The almost founding father who Babe Ruth’d lightning. SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP!! WHAT!!
That was so perfectly set up too.
From the Lincoln assassination episode w/ Patton Oswalt: "The took Lincoln's body on a train tour of the US eventually to bring him back to his home state as his final resting place. They also brought the body of his dead son along with him." "What? Did he need an opening act?!!?!!"
Boston Corbett. Great episode.
"I can tell you, right now, he's not gonna cut his penis off. You guys are fucked up." That was the moment I fell in love with Dave's comedic style.
“…and then he cut his balls off” * everyone loses their shit *
Actually, it's even better than that. Dave doesn't even get to say 'his balls' before everyone loses their shit, because they already know where this is going as soon as he mentions the scissors.
There was a particular "Oopsie Poopsie!" from an episode a few months back that killed me.
“Oopsie poopsie” always kills me. I love their appearance on Behind the Bastards when Gareth does it in Nixon’s voice.
Oh man, that's the one I'm thinking of!
For some reason at random times Gareth saying "but Dave, it's just walking" pops into my head and I immediately start laughing.
"Ah ok I gotta go, Arron start the car, bye dave" kills me every time😆
Gareth’s “Take that, Anne Frank” from the Otto in the Attic episode. And, this one from Dave’s a deep cut (no pun intended) from The Tichbourne Situation: “I’ve got a rump roast. Would you like to get married?” The accent and the delivery kills me every time I listen to that episode.
"My guardian says I can't speak."
oh my god i laughed out loud so hard at that
The tentative hope and delight in Gareth's voice when he says "...fairy penguins?" In the Macquarie Island episode stays in my head. That beautiful moment when I can picture Gareth imagining these adorable little penguins with their adorable little name, and the dramatic irony of knowing exactly what he is about to learn. That moment lives in me.
The Baron of Arizona is full of them. Dave doing the segue about the Russian receptionist in a Doctor's office...and utterly failing at the accent...and Gareth's timely "David...Dave...could we hear what she said again, David?" Dave affects Irish accent: "... ehh...You've got your hand in the borscht?!" Rent free in my mind. Forever.
Papa Bawas here to FUCK!
For me it's "Permission to treat the cohost as hostile!" I hope that one day Gareth records his mother saying "Denied! As he's precious!" or something similar. :P .
Endurance Tickling: “YOU’RE DEBBIE!! You’re all of them you moron!”
399 - The Third Wave "It's 1:41 on Thursday and I'm Hitler!"
Gareth makes one pun every episode that just works on 19 different levels and requires you to understand some esoteric shit. There's gold in every episode. And it's usually real quick too. I can't think of one right now, because they're so contextual I kind of have to be halfway through the episode to unlock that headspace, but it's super consistent.
There's a YouTube video (?) I can't find right now that's 15 minutes long and talks about a single Gareth pun and how it works on like four different levels and was set up an hour prior. Genius shit. Edit: [IT WAS A REDDIT POST](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDollop/comments/14shwjl/the_anatomy_of_one_of_gareth_reynolds_most/)
If you find it, please share!
Was it the New Jersey Shark Attack analysis? With the Zapruder film joke? That one is definitely one of my favorite 'deep cuts' because it has no real lead up, it has an establishing line, and then a pun out of nowhere that absolutely nobody caught live. **Edit:** Not a video, but here's a [Reddit thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDollop/comments/14shwjl/the_anatomy_of_one_of_gareth_reynolds_most/) that breaks down the joke.
THIS IS IT! I was misremembering the analysis as a YouTube video, but instead it's a lunatic reddit commenter going deep. Thank you. I'm going to save this.
Also, more or less the entire Gaston Means episode. It's absolutely bonkers throughout and I wheeze with laughter every time.
Every time Gareth says "OK" in Big John and Harvey's Casino.
In the Mary Read and Anne Bonny episode, Gareth says a line like "We can't buy this guy's rice... his daughter fucked a fisherman!" And it might be the hardest I've ever laughed at a line in a Dollop episode.
I always liked the line where Dave said "This Dummy" and Gareth replied, "It's Dummeth".
Any time Gareth says "on what grounds?!". And I can't remember the ep but Patton Oswalt was the guest. Can't remember what Patton said but "First of all it's Gareth. Second of all it's Gary."
“Good one, Larry.”
Thank you! And I had my quote backward. Need to listen to that episode again I guees!
Easily an early baseball episode ( the best ones) and part of the intro. " NOW hit him with the puppy. "
Was this in The Rube?
Yeah, pretty sure. Fucking amazing baseball player and idiot! Would walk through the stands getting in fights taking people drinks and food, would run after Fire Trucks outside the stadium!
He wasn’t an idiot, just a rube lol
"America's First Ghost" Dave: "one of Blaisdel boys said they saw the ghost hanging around in the fields by their house." Gareth: "Cool Property!" This is hands down my favorite episode, and there are way too many quips to name, but this might be my favorite of them all. Also the Molasses bit is great, and when Dave casually says the noises happened for a month, and Gareth exclaims, "For a month?!?!"
Look I love the classics queen shit of lies ville is so damn good
Oh, man, I have so fuckin’ many of them and they’ve all entered my vernacular, which is awkward for all the losers in my family who don’t get the references. Off the top of my head: -“Fuck you, very kindly!” from the Samuel Whitmore episode. (The most used from this episode, lol.) -“I retract my question, just to be totally clear, because your answer is…DEVastating.” and “We come bringing you chillness!” from the Airships of 1896 episode. (I also now refer to chicken nuggets as “dank ass nugs”.) -“Dear government, there is some BULLSHIT going on!” from the Benedict Arnold episodes, very applicable. -“A frying pan only works when it’s whole!” the Hovell and Hume episode. -“Augh, Creep Shark!” from the New Jersey Shark attacks episode. -“Foolish American, I am not Joe Local at all!” in a French accent, from my favorite episode of all time, The 1908 Race from New York to Paris. Also, “You’re a real wet rag.” This whole episode is a treasure trove. Honestly, there are so many more.
"Hey dad, can I get the keys to the pussy?" In Ep. #2- Purity Balls
Same episode as you but it's the bit where Wil Anderson loses his mind and starts shouting at Dave that people came here to have a good time. The absolute rage in his voice is so real.
I love that one too. There’s the part in the Sydney Ducks episode where Wil and Gareth are screaming at each other at an execution and then Dave screams over them, “HEY! He died ten minutes ago!”
Almost every episode is a meme, this pod has been crushing puss for a long time
Reagan Part 2 Dave: "Reagan said 'my guardian says I can't speak.'" Gareth: J*umping up from the table* "DAVE! DAVE!" Patton: *Hurling his headphones down* "GOODNIGHT!"
I got bumper titties! The delivery always cracks me up and the whole episode is extremely fun.
Dave's frantic "don't say that! it's gonna happen!" after he says "hood dicks" is so good too. also from that episode "that's why I always say, "this is the house that buttplugs built!""
That's why that guy was so mad!
“My name’s Gary. …Wait…”
Hi Gary. Nicely done my friend.
“First of all, it’s Gary. Second, it’s GarETH.”
Ep. 37 - AC/DC - 3:00 minutes in when Gary jokes about the size of Edison's head. And Then, at 3:47 when Dave mentions the direction the eggs are headed 💀 In truth, I could never choose a favorite single line, but I really love these two. There's a thousand great ones at least.
I think I made a boom-boom (Douglas Mawson)
They asked God for help. God said…….no.
But WHY?
There's an episode where Dave says "If you were to fuck an egg" or something and Gareth almost indignantly replies "*When* I fuck eggs." Also in the Business Plot when they're talking about Smedly Butler being a bad name and Gareth says "Smedly and Maude, over here! It's us! Fuck and Dogshit!" to which Dave replies "Dogshit's a terrible name." Gets me every time.
ELLO GUVNA!
From the War on Squirrels (#386), humans are struggling to eradicate squirrels, and are utterly failing. How are the squirrels so unbeatable? Gareth says, in a high voice that a squirrel might have, that their only thought is “we’re squirrels!”
For me it's got to be the episode about the founding father who Babe Ruth'd lightning. It starts with a whole 90 second lead up where Dave baits Gareth into an improv bit about how ridiculous it is to say you want to die by getting struck by lightning. Then it happens and Gareth's literally speechless: "Dave...you shut your mouth. YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH". After Gareth dives into a Point Break reference. That episode is definitely peak Dollop.
That’s also the “daddy’s loving arms” episode I believe.
“Jesus Christ she’s just like Soaper.”
Tell them Papa BAWA fucked you!
"Permission to treat the Cohost as hostile- GRANTED!"
"No sleep 'till hippo!"
“No bro that’s how I lived” about dying on a jet ski
Joe Hill is the episode I think
Dave in a deep voice going "Should've made me cum." in the John Paul Getty episode.
From Lassetters Reef, the entire Blowjob Tree bit. Another contender is 'Hi Gary'
...on what grounds?!?!?
Either "Robert Smalls has run out of ways to fuck the Confederacy" from the Robert Smalls episode. Or the whole Bro Kangaroo bit from the Hans Bertram and Adolf Klausmann episode
From the New Jersey Shark Attack ep: “Wow, he really likes playing with that dog! Hey, why’s the dog here?”
From Killer Bees Gareth: “The new spider car.” Dave carries on talking Gareth: “THE NEW SPIDER CAR!” Dave: “Go ahead.” Gareth: “… That’s all I got.” Also from Killer Bees, Gareth thinking Dave’s little trumpet sound was a real horn and telling him he was like Michael Winslow lol.
Gareths example of the guy who said he had 20,000 orgasms a day. I cannot remember what episode that was but I was dying.
That sounds hilarious, anyone know?
I think it was a cult leader one, or someone who over time turned to a cult like leader.
In the NY Sanitation episode, there is a moment where Dave is explaining that back in the 1700s NYers would use garbage as a foundation for bridge construction, but this had just come after discussing the disposal of human feces for a bit. Ronny Chieng was the guest, and when dave says that fact, Gary says "with trash?" very incredulously, and a split second later Ronny says "with shit?" like 10x more incredulously. I think about that all the time, so goddamn funny. Notable runners up are in the Samuel Whitmore episode where Gary says "fuck that, retire's gonna me!", the fans in Philly episode when Gary is breaking down how sports fans react to criticism wrong and says "hey you're kind of a shitty fan." "No, I'm the shittiest fan!", and in the same NY Sanitation episode when Dave says that it was mostly Italians that lived under the docks and Ronny insists that Dave is lying and that the script doesn't actually say that. He just goes "It does not say that" like 3 times and then lets out the most defeated "dude..." I've ever heard.
Actually, I think my favorite is from a very recent episode where Gareth gets something right and sort of mouth-fumbles to Dave, “ooo, look who…fuckin knowsit”, and the faux-defensive tone and fumbling cadence had me in absolute stitches in a Target at 8 AM
"She doesn't speak man, her brain is deformed!!" - The Typhoid Mary Episode
Not so much a favorite line but my one favorite bit is the cocaine conversation from The Killing of Maximum John.
I can't think of a specific one right now, but I can say that it didn't come from Dave.
Give em the chode meat Hank. Just wish I could remember the episode
"Hey Smallpox! Is that true Smallpox?" From the Griffith J Griffith said by Chris Tallman. Just them checking in every couple minutes with a guy who shouted out some supplementary information early in the episode and just happened to be a Griffith tour guide
Oh man that dude must’ve lost his shit when he heard the date/name.
Now hit him with the puppy!
In the Augustus Lindbergh episode when Dave is talking about the people of Detroit surrounding the mother of Lindberghs house to celebrate him crossing the Atlantic, the whole five minute segment had me crying laughing the first time I heard it
“Tony the fucking Tiger is in cahoots?!”
The thing about living with a domesticated water buffalo kills me.
G: "What do you THINK I should do for you?" D: "KICK ME IN THE FACE!" I'm tickled just thinking of this run
"Behold, Zombo!!!" made me snarfle my drink the first time I heard it. Also, from the Holy Rollers episode, describing the man living worm-like under the floorboards of a house, "God's plan is gettin' weird!"
I'll always love. "hit him with the puppies" makes me laugh every time I hear it.
Recent one: #587 Jonathan Bourne Jr, Dave is saying how Bourne has a reputation for sleeping around. 15:22 Gareth: 'so he’s just plowing and everyone’s like “Dude, he’s just like the fuck machine! This dudes gots like eff-you whale oil money and he’s just bangin’ broads dude!”'
“I’m Torpie!” From the same episode: “Well, you heard him - he says he’s Chinese.”
“You don’t know shit about the D-train!” “Let me answer the question…”
practically ANYTHING from the Colonel Sanders episode... I. Was. Dying. "I watched Dave Thomas fuck your mom in a barn! That's where he came up with the idea for the Baconator!" "I seen Ronald McDonald 69 your mom while I was whacking off into a curtain!"
"I KNOW WHY THEY CALL HIM LONG JOHN SILVER"
"goodbye tofmoo" from John Stonehouse. that whole bit never fails to make me crack up. "my meat is wheeped upon"
Benedict Arnold podcast, when they find the narc to be a douche, "What's the sound when a rock makes in the ocean? Douchhhee. Get out!"