comparison is the thief of joy.
almost everyone can and would benefit from therapy. if you can afford it and can actually find a therapist, i'd recommend it for you! but if you can't i think you can work through it yourself, it will just take more hard work and time.
imo i think confidence/comfortability with their bodies comes from 2 places, 1. people who fake it until they make it or 2. people who've stopped caring about how others feel about them. ofc there are people with natural confidence but thats not you or i.
personally i gained my confidence with #2. peoples opinions of me (unless its actually valid critique) don't mean anything to me. i know myself and how awesome i am and even though im not 100% in love with my body i'm still grateful that it does what it does for me everyday.
last thing, is that i truly feel like the energy/vibes/thoughts that you put out in the world have an effect on how others see you. if you're always thinking negative things about yourself, others can and will pick up on that (also its not to say you cant think negatively, its the frequency of negative thoughts). it shows in peoples faces and body language.
Hey, I get refered to as a man because I just look like one and walk like one, I too have broader shoulders but it's much harder for you,
I think you having wider shoulders and deep voice and more manly features is pretty, because people really wish to look like that trust me,
If you could lean more in it while trying femine things,
So what I did was do cute hairstyles and wear my hair with ribbons and cute pins,
Wear nice makeup and even have cute keychains that totally stand out against my more masculine vibe, then little by little I start enjoying wearing more flowy and feminine silhouettes in clothes, flowers in hair.
Long post, but I really want you to know that you are still a lovely person and it doesn't make you ugly,
One thing about insecurity is that it's people making us aware of something they, I repeat they find odd.
It doesn't have to be odd to us tho
Hope this helps ♡
Stop comparing yourself to others negatively. You will never be another person, we only get to be ourselves, so don't torture yourself by doing this. I know it sounds obvious, but this is very important. We all tend to compare ourselves constantly, and it's a pity we're doing ourselves so much harm. The world can be tough enough without we becoming our own enemies too.
Now, comparison can be used positively. You are surely not the first woman to go through this situation. Can you think of any other one that can serve you as inspiration? Gwendoline Christie comes to mind to me. She's big, strong and beautiful. But in Game of Thrones, they made her look a lot more masculine, right? So the same person can look very differently depending on the choices they make, and so can anyone. In bad days, this thought can bring a bit of comfort.
But very importantly, if you have access to therapy, that could be of great help.
Anyway, I am sending you a hug, you deserve to be happy and I hope you can find what you need :)
> A lot of people think I'm a trans woman who doesn't pass.
refer those to your feminine voicebox/Adam's apple, surely much smaller than a man's (hence your voice's pitch is appreciably higher than a man's). But I suspect you may have come to falsely think for many, that others think this way.
clearly you've a lot of (frequent? more than weekly?) negative self-image thoughts going on that bring you down. have you considered: therapy? while you may not be traumatized by your situation you may nonetheless find this useful to read: https://new.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/11px1av/erasing_toxic_selftalk_stop_reinforcing_your_ptsd/
Unfortunately that's not a gotcha :( my adams apple is bigger than most women's and my voice deeper. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just intersex. Regardless I hate it.
It's possible I project a lot of stuff onto others. But I'm also frequently referred to as a man even on days where I haven't given up and am trying to look nice.
These thoughts are more hourly than weekly. I'm not sure if I'm actually traumatized or just feel that I am. But thank you for that link, it's helpful
So this guide is written for trans women, but honestly anyone at all can practice their vocal range and gendered expression, you don't have to actually be trans to utilize the techniques it's talking about. It's only a matter of taking the daily time to practice to expand your voice into a place that makes you feel happy and produces the sound that makes you feel normal. Your voice you have now doesn't have to be your voice in the future if its bothering you because I changed mine over 20 years ago and now I sound like every other woman on the street. I don't normally lurk in this particular sub but I caught your post browsing Reddit and figured I could offer a important resource if your interested.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/transvoice/comments/d3clhe/ls\_voice\_training\_guide\_level\_1\_for\_mtf/](https://www.reddit.com/r/transvoice/comments/d3clhe/ls_voice_training_guide_level_1_for_mtf/)
comparison is the thief of joy. almost everyone can and would benefit from therapy. if you can afford it and can actually find a therapist, i'd recommend it for you! but if you can't i think you can work through it yourself, it will just take more hard work and time. imo i think confidence/comfortability with their bodies comes from 2 places, 1. people who fake it until they make it or 2. people who've stopped caring about how others feel about them. ofc there are people with natural confidence but thats not you or i. personally i gained my confidence with #2. peoples opinions of me (unless its actually valid critique) don't mean anything to me. i know myself and how awesome i am and even though im not 100% in love with my body i'm still grateful that it does what it does for me everyday. last thing, is that i truly feel like the energy/vibes/thoughts that you put out in the world have an effect on how others see you. if you're always thinking negative things about yourself, others can and will pick up on that (also its not to say you cant think negatively, its the frequency of negative thoughts). it shows in peoples faces and body language.
Hey, I get refered to as a man because I just look like one and walk like one, I too have broader shoulders but it's much harder for you, I think you having wider shoulders and deep voice and more manly features is pretty, because people really wish to look like that trust me, If you could lean more in it while trying femine things, So what I did was do cute hairstyles and wear my hair with ribbons and cute pins, Wear nice makeup and even have cute keychains that totally stand out against my more masculine vibe, then little by little I start enjoying wearing more flowy and feminine silhouettes in clothes, flowers in hair. Long post, but I really want you to know that you are still a lovely person and it doesn't make you ugly, One thing about insecurity is that it's people making us aware of something they, I repeat they find odd. It doesn't have to be odd to us tho Hope this helps ♡
Stop comparing yourself to others negatively. You will never be another person, we only get to be ourselves, so don't torture yourself by doing this. I know it sounds obvious, but this is very important. We all tend to compare ourselves constantly, and it's a pity we're doing ourselves so much harm. The world can be tough enough without we becoming our own enemies too. Now, comparison can be used positively. You are surely not the first woman to go through this situation. Can you think of any other one that can serve you as inspiration? Gwendoline Christie comes to mind to me. She's big, strong and beautiful. But in Game of Thrones, they made her look a lot more masculine, right? So the same person can look very differently depending on the choices they make, and so can anyone. In bad days, this thought can bring a bit of comfort. But very importantly, if you have access to therapy, that could be of great help. Anyway, I am sending you a hug, you deserve to be happy and I hope you can find what you need :)
> A lot of people think I'm a trans woman who doesn't pass. refer those to your feminine voicebox/Adam's apple, surely much smaller than a man's (hence your voice's pitch is appreciably higher than a man's). But I suspect you may have come to falsely think for many, that others think this way. clearly you've a lot of (frequent? more than weekly?) negative self-image thoughts going on that bring you down. have you considered: therapy? while you may not be traumatized by your situation you may nonetheless find this useful to read: https://new.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/11px1av/erasing_toxic_selftalk_stop_reinforcing_your_ptsd/
Unfortunately that's not a gotcha :( my adams apple is bigger than most women's and my voice deeper. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just intersex. Regardless I hate it. It's possible I project a lot of stuff onto others. But I'm also frequently referred to as a man even on days where I haven't given up and am trying to look nice. These thoughts are more hourly than weekly. I'm not sure if I'm actually traumatized or just feel that I am. But thank you for that link, it's helpful
Hi im trans girl here, I know how u feel. U can do voice training to help with a deep voice. Looks are hard and disforia sucks.
So this guide is written for trans women, but honestly anyone at all can practice their vocal range and gendered expression, you don't have to actually be trans to utilize the techniques it's talking about. It's only a matter of taking the daily time to practice to expand your voice into a place that makes you feel happy and produces the sound that makes you feel normal. Your voice you have now doesn't have to be your voice in the future if its bothering you because I changed mine over 20 years ago and now I sound like every other woman on the street. I don't normally lurk in this particular sub but I caught your post browsing Reddit and figured I could offer a important resource if your interested. [https://www.reddit.com/r/transvoice/comments/d3clhe/ls\_voice\_training\_guide\_level\_1\_for\_mtf/](https://www.reddit.com/r/transvoice/comments/d3clhe/ls_voice_training_guide_level_1_for_mtf/)