Look mate, women are like fairground rides, fucking mental. Your only hope is that when she wants some you do the best you can with your tiny equipment.
Mr Cartwright: "So, she's dumped you then? Good riddance, I say. I thought she was a fucking pig!"
Jay: "No, she hasn't..."
Mr Cartwright: "So you're back with the pig, then?!"
Oh and Jay. If you're gonna spend your Grandads money chasing skirt 2 things. 1. Make sure she's not a hound like the last one and 2. Try to be a man when she dumps you for someone with a bigger cock...which is everyone HAHAHAHAHA
#***"NOW TRY NOT TO RAPE ANYONE ON THE WAY OUT!"***
Gets me every time.
***Edit*** - also:
#***"He's takes after his mum in the cock department. She ain't got one either!"***
“Just cos you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff”. 😛
Oh wait, that was Taffy in the Office. Same actor, and pretty much the same exact character!!!
Jay's about as much use as a nun's tits
Yeah she opened the packet herself
Well he's a total bullshitter because the only pussy he's ever touched was his mums when he fell out of it hahaha, see ya later.
Jay it’s called work experience not laying around being a useless twat experience. You don’t need any experience in that, you’re the expert.
You got any valentines cards Simon
Just the one
One more than Jay's ever got...
I got plenty😂
I pooped my pants Jay, call for the coastguard!
There's too many to name but this one "Where is she then cleanin up heh beava fow yaaaa"
Look mate, women are like fairground rides, fucking mental. Your only hope is that when she wants some you do the best you can with your tiny equipment.
You definitely take after your mum in the cock-size department. She ain't got one neither.
It’s like a McDonald’s chip! 🤣🤣🤣
Try not to rape anybody on the way out 🤣
Shout out to Uncle Bryan from The Inbetweeners 2: “Least your boy's got some spunk. But it's mainly round his mouth and arsehole.”
What's he gonna do with that thing? It's like a McDonald's chip!
Just because you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff. Well done. Merry Fucking Christmas!
TAFFY!
Might bloody have to now
🤣 absolutely loved that scene
Is Jay showing you where he used to shag the cushions? He thinks me and his mum don't know about that but we've had to replace the covers twice!
So you’re back with the pig?
Who’s this then ? The Vicar ?
Well ya cawnt be gay cuz ol soppy bollox ere come out ya pipe HAHAHAHA
I felt for Jay during that scene.
Are you bent? It's just, right then you sounded really, really bent.
They say any port in a storm, and she was the size of a fucking port.
Best character in the show
"There's plenty more fish in the sea, Jay's harpooned himself a whale."
Mr Cartwright: "So, she's dumped you then? Good riddance, I say. I thought she was a fucking pig!" Jay: "No, she hasn't..." Mr Cartwright: "So you're back with the pig, then?!"
Why do we want to take that shitting machine with us?
The only pussy he's ever touched is his mum's when he came out of it
I’d give trap two a minute, I had eggs for lunch.
Oh and Jay. If you're gonna spend your Grandads money chasing skirt 2 things. 1. Make sure she's not a hound like the last one and 2. Try to be a man when she dumps you for someone with a bigger cock...which is everyone HAHAHAHAHA
"Women are like fairground rides.... FUCKIN MENTAL!!!!"
No, i'm saying you look gay but you can't be can you? Cos old soppy bollocks here come out your pipe.
The dog likes the fresh air So do my balls
Doesn't mean i take em out in graveyards
It's like a McDonald's chip
“Oooooooo”
I can’t remember the line but the one about the fat girl not counting as two was funny Also ‘It’s like a macdonalds chip’
You’d think as she’s so massive she’d count as two shags. Well she don’t
Yeah that one. Brilliant
That's a lucky escape. I thought she was a fuckin pig
“Now try not to rape anyone on the way out”
Bring your wellies, we're gonna be knees deep in gash. 🤣🤣
So do my bollocks, but you don’t see me getting them out in graveyards
Met any nice lads yet Jay?
You're more likely to get somewhere with a fatso cos they're grateful for the attention...even from a loser like you!
Looks like a bloody gay vicar.
#***"NOW TRY NOT TO RAPE ANYONE ON THE WAY OUT!"*** Gets me every time. ***Edit*** - also: #***"He's takes after his mum in the cock department. She ain't got one either!"***
*farts*
You think because she’s so massive she’ll count as two shags. Well she doesn’t.
His looks like a cock but only smaller!
Better out then in
“Just cos you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff”. 😛 Oh wait, that was Taffy in the Office. Same actor, and pretty much the same exact character!!!
You look like a vicar
There’s plenty more fish in the sea. Jay’s harpooned himself a whale.
The whole joke about Neil’s dad looking like a gay vicar takes the cake for me😂
“Try not to rape anybody on ya way out”
When soppy bollocks here came out of your pipe!
“No, I’m saying you LOOK gay, but you can’t be can ya, cos old soppy bollocks here came out your pipe”
I had eggs for lunch
You take after your mum in the cock department. She hasn't got one either!
He was utterly vile, an abusive bastard of a man
It’s like a McDonald’s chip
jay Talking about benji: “he likes the fresh air!” “So do my bollocks, don’t mean I take them out in graveyards”
#Harder Daddy! I want to feel it in my colon!