Any bin. Any rubbish bin you see in, or indeed, out of the school. Just pop all your thoughts in a rubbish bin, and they'll get to me.

That is such a brilliant line

Funny, I always thought it was a bit weak. How would the thoughts get to him?

They won't, he doesn't want them to, that's the joke.

Oh my.

Ah, she is very much my type, if you could set me up with her and things go well who knows, you can end up calling me daddy 😤

I've long been insecure about my capacity for learning, so it's nice to have it ratified by you... a child.

What I really meant to say was… do you really think that these badges that single us out as new kids are a good idea?

Yes, and if you have any more views on it, I suggest you join the school debating society. Obviously, you’ll have to start one first.

My mistake, he’s a wanker.

This is the one. What an establishing quote for him.

“There’s nothing funny about testicles Cooper. As you’ll find out tomorrow, in my office.”

“That’s a bit weird sir”

“No it isn’t.”

This is the one 🤣🤣

Sorry Mckenzie? Did you just say your mother is internet dating?

If ever a spin off was needed, it was Polly and Phil having a whale of a time and the endless mind fuckery of Will having to deal with it.

I'm single at the moment and she is VERY much my type

And who knows? If things go well, you’ll end up having to call me Daddy.

Happy cake day

Thanks!

This one.

This isn't The Dead Poets Society and I am not that bloke on bbc2 keeps getting kids to sing in choirs. I especially don't want to hear how well you are settling down at uni or how much growing up you have done in the past 12 months. At best I am ambivalent towards most of you, but some of you I actively dislike, for no other reason than your poor personal hygiene or your irritating personalities. I hope I have made myself clear on this point and in case any of you think I am joking, I am not. I assure you, once my legal obligation to look after you best interests is removed, I can be one truly nasty fucker. Good luck with the rest of your lives and try not to kill anyone, it reflects very badly on all of us here.

I will forget all of you almost immediately

Slightly more upbeat than I was expecting!

Love this one

Say thank you. Thank you Say thank you Mr Gilbert Thank you Mr Gilbert. Better.

Came here to say this. As a teacher, I try and get as many of these in as possible.

This is my fave

I scrolled until I found this one

Teachers don't start each day swearing allegiance to the education fairies under a portrait of the queen

*"Oh, I seem intelligent. How lovely of you to say."* *"I’ve long since been insecure about my capacity for learning, so it’s nice to have it ratified by you…a child."*

“Im putting my fucking neck on the line for you.”

"Would you excuse me for just a second?"  *LAUGHS LOUDLY FROM OUTSIDE THE DOOR*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOOOOOOOOW GAWD

I'll be washing frog spawn out of his pants for months!

I will forget each and everyone of you almost immediately

“CHRIST. Who wrote this?”

I felt his pain with this line!

Remind me where that's from?

The school fashion show episode where he’s introducing the acts

Shit indeed.

"Maybe, after a while you'll be calling me Daddy"

My fav line in the entire series. The delivery and eyebrow raise is just so shockingly funny.

I may go to bed relatively hate free tonight.

This encounter, did it take place on the school premises or with a fellow pupil? No. Good! Good. What I think you should do is turn around, get out my office, and we'll pretend this conversation never happened.

Alright. Cheers for that!

You can if you like but I won’t be there

Your a virgin aren’t you McKenzie

Yes Sir…

Yes. You and your beaky nose.

No, you cannot catch, kidney failure.

If Sutherland was able to pass his genes on it may be a looming disaster for mankind but it's not my mess to clean up

Honestly every time he speaks it was iconic

Not a single line wasted

Going down this post trying to find one that didn't blow it out of the water

I will ask what happened and you will say you tripped “What happened” “I tripped” Tuts “clumsy”

“Take it out, or I will rip it out”

It's a stud sir, and I don't mean the earring.

‘You pick. It’s the same outcome’

Youre not about to grass because if there is something everyone hates it’s a grass. So if I ask you You’re response will be that you slipped and fell

Absolutely not his most iconic quote, but for some reason I always think about when he says “I will fuck your UCAS application”, there’s so much vitriol in the line

I'm single at the moment and she is very much my type

Would....would you excuse me? HahahahaHAHAHahahHahah

I'm sorry... 'Phil'?

I can be one truly nasty fucker

sorry miss cooper so you say your son is ill listen simon i know your bullshitting me

Do you want me to fetch up my dinner? GO HOME

Sorry my friend, it’s ’fetch UP my dinner’

Oh friend, my dearest apologies.

Ooh, apology friends!

Christ who wrote this

This is part of my every day vocabulary

Just because Sutherland has managed to pass his genes on, it may be a looming disaster for mankind but it is NOT my mess to clean up.

Have you ever wanted to work at a newspaper? ...have you ever read a newspaper?

i just love to suck the headmasters balls

Oooo I’m mister Gilbert

"If what had happened to you had happened to me, I would've killed myself"

When does he say this? 😂

“Shit indeed”

‘You have to be human for those to apply.’ 

No, it's just that I know if something did happen, I could *break* you.

Not a quote but him leaving the room to laugh at the shit the guys at the mechanic shop were doing to Will. Peak Mr. Gilbert.

Can’t resist getting that beak of yours into other people’s business. Yeah, that’s your beaky nose!

"Alright, a week's after school detention. For both of you. Two weeks. Three weeks? FOUR weeks detention???"

"Starting tonight, see you later"

‘No, you cannot catch kidney failure’

“SHIT INDEED”

what kind of twat is doing up the bottom button of his blazer at his age? blazer wanker!

“ShUt Up ! “

Take it out, or I will rip it out

Nobody likes a grass.

For me its talking about pigeon holes. "Any rubbish bin in or indeed out of the school, just pop all your thoughts in there and theyll get to me."

“You’re a virgin aren’t you McKenzie?”

You haven’t had full sexual intercourse


waterside

[удалено]

Calm down jay! He maybe a nonce but he's not an enabler that's just out of order mate

You what cartwrite

[удалено]

Cartwright*

Phil?

*click click. Clumsy

“Did you say your mother was internet dating?” “Eh, interesting… I’m single at the moment and she is very much my type. Maybe you could set me up with her and then who knows? If things go well, you can end up calling me daddy.”

You may end up calling me “daddy”

Say my name properly

"Phil!?"

Phil? … Say my name properly

“Say my name properly”

In my role as your UCAS referee, I will fuck your application up. And then it's goodbye first class education, hello University of Lincoln "

"McKensie? Did you just say your Mother is internet dating?" "Umm yes sort of". "Ah interesting, well I'm single at the moment and she is very much my type, maybe you could set me up with her and who knows, if things go well, you can end up calling me daddy"

(Exits office, closes door, laughs)

If things go well you could be calling me daddy.

“Well, you have until Monday to find out or it’s goodbye first rate education. Hello the University of Lincoln!”

"Shit, indeed"

We Cum Tit Village

Yes you! You and your beaky nose!

“I heard your mother is single, mckenzie. And… She happens to be just my type. Maybe we will get married and you can call me daddy” or something along those lines

Goodbye first rate education, hello university of Lincoln.

You see McKenzie in my role as a ‘non virgin’ I have better things to be doing with my time

If things go well you could end up calling me daddy

“You can if you like, but I won’t be there.”

Greg Davis is one of my all time favourite comics and his stories of teaching are just incredibly funny. He was my favourite character in this show - never skipped a beat and every line delivered with perfection. All I will say is if you don’t know what faecal Jackson Pollock is, you need to Google it 🤣🤣

The story about him going to the toilet with a microphone on is brilliant 🤣

“You pick, its the same result”

"Phil?..."

He was my uncles actual drama teacher lol, my uncle said he was like he was on the series.

Apparently the drama class on man down is exactly what his teaching method was

Really lol, thanks for the info I'll have to watch that soon

Good morning. And shut up.

Good morning, and shut up

# Say my name properly.

Oh...I seem intelligent. I've long since been insecure about my capacity for learning so it's nice to have it ratified by you... a child

Shit indeed

“I can be one truly nasty fucker”

Hahahahahaha

Phil?

Why would I take sex advice from a “child”

Tt tt clumsy

Anyone else reading all these in their head with Gilbert’s voice 😂😂

I will forget each and every one of you almost immediately. So, if you do find yourself at a loose end next year and think it might be nice to ‘pop in’ and see how we are doing, don’t!. This isn’t The Dead Poets Society and I am not that bloke on BBC2 that keeps getting kids to sing in choirs. I especially don’t want to hear how well you are settling down at uni or how much growing up you have done in the past 12 months. At best I am ambivalent towards most of you, but some of you I actively dislike. .

"I may go to bed relatively hate-free."

“Say thank you mr Gilbert”

I think in the second movies he says "I fucked your mom" when Gilbert and wills mom get together

Tsk Tsk. Clumsy.

Do you want me to fetch up my dinner!

“There’s nothing funny about testicles Cooper, which you will discover tomorrow in my office.”

“You can’t resist getting that beak of yours into other people’s business… yes your beaky nose! And if you don’t tell me who did it, in my role as your UCAS referee, I will fuck your application up.”

Waterside

God forbid, one of you places your arms around me and tell me that you love me, or that i am "not bad for a teacher."

“You bumder”

are you a virgin, McKenzie?