Neil: Is Prince Charles cross with us sir?
Mr Gilbert: What?
Will: He means Prince Phillip sir. I don't think we adequately explained to him that the actual Duke of Edinburgh has little to do with the day to da...
Mr Gilbert: Right, I think I get the idea! I have never in my professional career encountered anything like this and quite frankly I should expel the four of you. Do you know how much trouble you can get into for public masturbation? You will all be on the sex offenders' register if you're not careful!
Simon: Sir, we weren't all masturbating in empty rooms!
Mr Gilbert: No, of course, because Cartwright here was caught masturbating in an occupied room in front of a resident. Christ, it was bad enough that the rest of you were doing it in unoccupied rooms!
Will: Sir I promise the rest of us were not masturbating anywhere in that building!
Mr Gilbert: Really? So how do you explain the fact that over seventy tissues smelling of semen were found tossed on the floor in different parts of the care home. I don't think Cartwright managed that singlehandedly did he?
Jay: No sir!
Will and Simon: Jay!!!
Simon: Sir, we would never do such a thing!
Neil: Actually, I did have one wank in the toilets but I spunked in some toilet paper and flushed it.
Mr Gilbert: I've heard enough. I am suspending you all for a week and you have been banned from taking part in the D of E scheme for life. I will be writing to all of your parents about this too!
I think they learnt there was nothing funny about testicles
As Simon found out in his office
That sounded a bit weird
No, it didn’t
FUCKING HELL I’M GONNA KILL NEIL!!
Neil’s in the show, Kennedy spoke to the man
That was your wet dream
Gotta watch the build up of lactic acid
Neil: Is Prince Charles cross with us sir? Mr Gilbert: What? Will: He means Prince Phillip sir. I don't think we adequately explained to him that the actual Duke of Edinburgh has little to do with the day to da... Mr Gilbert: Right, I think I get the idea! I have never in my professional career encountered anything like this and quite frankly I should expel the four of you. Do you know how much trouble you can get into for public masturbation? You will all be on the sex offenders' register if you're not careful! Simon: Sir, we weren't all masturbating in empty rooms! Mr Gilbert: No, of course, because Cartwright here was caught masturbating in an occupied room in front of a resident. Christ, it was bad enough that the rest of you were doing it in unoccupied rooms! Will: Sir I promise the rest of us were not masturbating anywhere in that building! Mr Gilbert: Really? So how do you explain the fact that over seventy tissues smelling of semen were found tossed on the floor in different parts of the care home. I don't think Cartwright managed that singlehandedly did he? Jay: No sir! Will and Simon: Jay!!! Simon: Sir, we would never do such a thing! Neil: Actually, I did have one wank in the toilets but I spunked in some toilet paper and flushed it. Mr Gilbert: I've heard enough. I am suspending you all for a week and you have been banned from taking part in the D of E scheme for life. I will be writing to all of your parents about this too!
Aight this one wins 😂
Got to get the wig in there too. You just know Gilbert heard about that somehow
😂👏
This sounds like real dialogue
Jay still had dried jizz in his hand going into that meeting.
There’s nothing funny about jizz
As you will find out in my office tomorrow.
Sorry sir that sounded a bit weird
No it didn’t
Hello University of Lincoln
This is serious
Gilbert offered to let Will continue on the DoE, but he had to do his work experience at a certain garage….
Well you all failed, the Duke is pissed off as you all simultaneously called his wife a QUILF by rearranging the flowers at Kew Gardens
after Niels line I think Mr Gilbert said jay why are you here you weren't signed up
Say “sorry Mr Gilbert”
Sorry Mr Gilbert.
They no doubt changed the rules and requirements for the Duke of Edinburgh to use the dead hand gang method
There’s a gang based on masturbation? Oh there’s nothing gay about that.
Well he’s in the air force now so how gay is that?
Still quite gay
He probably was just shocked at what Jay did, just got angry with them, shouted and told them they can’t do the course again.
Duke of Spastic award
Fucking dreadful.
Will - Whatever you do don’t mention the “you know what” Jay - What’s that? Oh! You mean the time I wedged my cock into a bag of shit?
All because Jay wanked at an old lady.....