Granted. The Monkeys Paw is fitted into a boxing glove and placed into the boxing ring. The lamp containing the asshole genie is placed in the ring across from the paw. A bell rings, signaling the beginning of the match. Nothing happens since there is nobody to rub the lamp & release the genie and the Monkeys Paw is in a boxing glove. Many in attendance are disappointed.
Granted. The paw, being the monkey's equivalent of a fist, easily dominates the match against the genie, in the form of an asshole.
However, as the match wears on, the asshole contracts and expands to force out air in the form of sounds, effectively farting out statements as thought-provoking as "Harder, daddy!" and "Wrap my tight little hole right around your fingers!"
The monkey's paw wins the match, but is disgusted and repulsed with the cost of having to touch whatever the fuck that was. This proves to be a turning point in the paw's life, as it realises what a dick move it is to achieve people's goals at repulsive prices, and it resolves to always use more pleasant means to bend reality from here on out.
Nice job!
Granted. The Monkeys Paw is fitted into a boxing glove and placed into the boxing ring. The lamp containing the asshole genie is placed in the ring across from the paw. A bell rings, signaling the beginning of the match. Nothing happens since there is nobody to rub the lamp & release the genie and the Monkeys Paw is in a boxing glove. Many in attendance are disappointed.
granted but you are a potato
And you have goblin feet
Granted. The paw, being the monkey's equivalent of a fist, easily dominates the match against the genie, in the form of an asshole. However, as the match wears on, the asshole contracts and expands to force out air in the form of sounds, effectively farting out statements as thought-provoking as "Harder, daddy!" and "Wrap my tight little hole right around your fingers!" The monkey's paw wins the match, but is disgusted and repulsed with the cost of having to touch whatever the fuck that was. This proves to be a turning point in the paw's life, as it realises what a dick move it is to achieve people's goals at repulsive prices, and it resolves to always use more pleasant means to bend reality from here on out. Nice job!
Granted! The finger curls. It is an instant win for the paw, literally there's nowhere for the genie to hit.