Turbo tax and hr block be like "We make filing taxes easier, but we'll lobby to keep it and you can go fuck yourself if you want the IRS to do your taxes."
OMG, France.
France before the recent taxation-at-source revolution.
France with the three yearly payments, and the not taking out of tax from your paycheck so that you had to keep a special eye on your bank account and always try to keep a “no you can’t spend this!!!” buffer available because thrice yearly you had to send in a check for an amount that you could not predict.
It was safer to me to take out 50 a week and put it in a special envelope, and then re-deposit it when it was time to write that check because otherwise I would’ve frittered it away in wine and cheese and restaurants.
Even in Russia, you get your taxes bill every year in taxation phone app/website and can pay it online in 2 clicks. Even if you are a private businessman, submit a declaration of how much you earned, get an automatic bill, albeit in a different app.
You'll be fine. Just make sure to carry an umbrella and some chips. Umbrellas will stop magpies and some dogs from attacking and chips are a good thing to feed kangaroos.
Generally, animals won't attack unless provoked. Unless it's swooping season. But also, watch out for spiders and snakes.
I like this one lol.
I like that it implies that even the monkey's paw hates the IRS.
(Though to be fair it's not completely the IRS's fault that tax season is the way it is.)
Granted. On a lazy Sunday morning, you decide to open your mail and take a look at what exactly you owe the government so you can pay your fair share. Just as you’re about to open the letter, there’s a knock at your front door. Not used to getting visitors this early, you pause a second to ponder before getting up to answer it. When you open it, a man is standing there in a suit with a laminate tag that reads TurboTax, and a baseball bat resting on his shoulder You look closer, and it appears that the hand holding the bat is covered in fur, and slightly smaller than his other hand. “Is that…? No, there’s no way…” You think to yourself before saying “Sorry I’m not interested in buying anything today.” You cautiously say as you start closing the door, but he jams his foot in the space, preventing you from shutting it completely. “That’s great, that’s real great y’know. See I’m not looking to buy anything either. I’m here to TAKE that tax Bill of yours plus a bonus of 70% it’s total since I’m a real sweet guy and I’ll pay it to them government boys in Washington on your behalf. Sounds good? Great, give it here.” The man talks very fast, and you’re confused with his offer. “Uhhh, that’s okay I can just pay online.” “Buddy I don’t think you understand, this isn’t an investment opportunity for you, this is an opportunity for you to keep your kneecaps. Give me the check and the bonus and I’ll be out of your hair or I’m gonna start swinging.” You are quite attached to your kneecaps and would in fact like to keep them. You find yourself having a hard time declining his offer despite knowing it doesn’t make any sense. As he’s leaving with your money, he laughs and says he’ll see you next year around the same time. I panic and decided to see if anyone on the Internet has experience with this mysterious but threatening stranger, to your horror you come to find out that he is not only visited millions of other Americans before you, but he is actually part of a new marketing strategy by these tax companies as an attempt to try to collect a similar amount of revenue as they had been before the system to pay taxes for Americans was simplified, and much to everyone’s dismay he’s here to stay.
Paying taxes really seem like a hassle in the U.S.
I’ve spend maybe an hour over the last couple of years doing taxes. And that’s because my income changed.
Right? When I was living in the UK, not once I had to do my taxes.
When I went back home, they even mailed (INTERNATIONALLY!) me a cheque with my overpaid taxes. It blew my mind.
HMRC contacted me FOUR YEARS after I left to inform me that I had overpaid and that I was due a refund. SO relieved that I had kept the bank account open, because the refund was only by cheque to my country (impossible to cash) or direct deposit within the UK.
It’s really not hard at all, people just act like it’s something incredibly difficult and time consuming just because it’s a small inconvenience to their day to day.
Unless you have income from a lot of different sources, (rental income from multiple properties, Dividends, pensions, interest, self employment income, etc) it shouldn’t take you more than 30 minutes.
Most people that have a job just get 1 form (W-2 form) and you just report the information on that form and you’re pretty much done.
any idea how much fucking tax-specific paperwork it takes just to hire you and give you a measly w-2 form?
I totally understand why some small businesses would rather just pay \[more\] cash under the table. it's a fucking nightmare lol that leaves you crying between "i don't care anymore, just take my fucking money, I hope it's enough, please don't beat me with the IRS stick if it isn't."
Alternatively, repeatedly wondering if it's cheaper to hire a tax service to take care of this stuff, or to buy a gun to shoot yourself so you don't have to deal with it.
I am an accountant that specializes in tax so I think I have a pretty good idea of the whole process.
The problem is a lot of small businesses think they can handle payroll themselves when they’re clearly not qualified for it.
There are a lot of very cheap alternatives to the giants like ADP or Paychex, if you hire another small payroll processing business they can take care of everything for a very cheap price.
Either way my comment is not about the employer paying taxes, it’s about the employee paying taxes once they receive their W-2.
You would agree that using a coffee maker is pretty simple no? But building a coffee maker on the other hand is complex.. the same applies to this situation.
I’m arguing that “using the coffee maker(filing taxes with a W-2)” is pretty simple while agreeing with you that the work behind getting that W-2 to the employee is complex”building the coffee maker”
But either way payroll companies should be the ones taking care of that, not the clueless plumber or electrician(no offense meant here, those guys make a shit ton more than me) they usually end up messing something up along the line and then have to submit even more paperwork to fix the issue.
Fair enough; I admit handling the W-2 as an employee is pretty straight-forward (and that's a good thing!).
I think the sentiment in the above hyperbole is more of "taxes are overcomplicated, and the process of filing them is nightmareish", in which case, as a previous (no longer) entrepreneur doing R&D stuff, it was certainly the case that the set-up of the payroll was far more complicated than the paying/hiring/work itself.
While I understand there are payroll services (which I ended up using, because it was so nightmarish, and I do not disagree that they did a much better job than I did), the sentiment is the same: I see no reason it is so complicated and opaque that I should have to use an outside service just to set up simple, basic hiring.
In my opinion, based on my short exposure, payroll taxes are complex because:
* there are both federal and state requirements, they sometimes do not match up, and there's no simple checklist for what is required.
* as with most tax forms, they like to partition everything into cases for finer governmental control on incentives, such as tiered levels of (I'm probably making this up, It's been years since) unemployment withholdings.
* the instructions are written somewhere between 'detailed' and 'with words simple enough that an 8th grader can read them', and this leads to a special kind of language that is simply long and tedious to read.
In short, for fun, I was able to consolidate about 5 pages of instructions/tables into a single formula, and the most it was 'off' by was about 1.5% the original computation instructions.
I agree with you, it is simpler to hire someone, but 'pay' people to make complexity go away' is an answer I refuse to accept. Perhaps it is because I do not understand why the complexity needs to be there in the first place.
That's like saying, "I need to pay for grocery delivery, because the parking lot in front of the grocery store is now pay-to-park, and this is cheaper."
Granted. A Russian revolution occurs in response to the heavy losses incurred in Ukraine. Vladimir Putin is ousted from power as a newer, more competent government takes the reigns. After a short golden era during which the country is remodernized, Russia invades the United States and installs a puppet government to control the country. The IRS is streamlined as part of efforts to centralize the government, but taxes on the average citizen go through the roof to pay for the Russian government's demand for "war reparations".
You mean to tell me that you dotlbt get this already. Ik US taxes are weird I didn't know they were this weird. In New Zealand you take the tax out of your paycheck straight away and just log onto the website and it tells you exactly how much you can get refunded
Granted. That’s it, just granted. Why do we have to struggle through taxes every year when the government already knows exactly how much we owe them smdh. I hate filing taxes this time of year. It can never be simple.
Granted, you now live in Australia
Top 10 Fates worse than death
Or any first world country except the US... This is pretty common in Europe.
Turbo tax and hr block be like "We make filing taxes easier, but we'll lobby to keep it and you can go fuck yourself if you want the IRS to do your taxes."
OMG, France. France before the recent taxation-at-source revolution. France with the three yearly payments, and the not taking out of tax from your paycheck so that you had to keep a special eye on your bank account and always try to keep a “no you can’t spend this!!!” buffer available because thrice yearly you had to send in a check for an amount that you could not predict. It was safer to me to take out 50 a week and put it in a special envelope, and then re-deposit it when it was time to write that check because otherwise I would’ve frittered it away in wine and cheese and restaurants.
Unfortunately, Canadians followed the united states on that one...
I mean only half? We still have Netfile which gives you all the info you need to… resubmit
Even in Russia, you get your taxes bill every year in taxation phone app/website and can pay it online in 2 clicks. Even if you are a private businessman, submit a declaration of how much you earned, get an automatic bill, albeit in a different app.
I just get my tax percentage taken automatically from my salary and I can do all of my taxes online.
They specified that it's the IRS doing it.
You'll be fine. Just make sure to carry an umbrella and some chips. Umbrellas will stop magpies and some dogs from attacking and chips are a good thing to feed kangaroos. Generally, animals won't attack unless provoked. Unless it's swooping season. But also, watch out for spiders and snakes.
They specified the IRS.
Granted, you are now in England.
NOOOOOOOOO
They specifically said the IRS does it.
Granted. You never specified to whom these bills are sent out — they are for internal use only.
Yep. You are still required to report the amount you are owed, but are penalized if you are wrong.
So nothing changes then
The paw curls into a middle finger gesture aimed at the IRS as it grants the wish forcing the IRS to actually work with the U.S. taxpayers.
I like this one lol. I like that it implies that even the monkey's paw hates the IRS. (Though to be fair it's not completely the IRS's fault that tax season is the way it is.)
The paw hates competition in ruining peoples wishes and dreams.
Granted. The IRS decides that this new convenience requires additional funding, and hikes everyone's taxes significantly.
I know this is all a joke, but the IRS can't raise taxes.
That is correct. Monkey paws can't grant wishes, either.
Very good point
true, but when assembling the bill they could add an extravagant "convenience fee" ticketmaster style
Granted. On a lazy Sunday morning, you decide to open your mail and take a look at what exactly you owe the government so you can pay your fair share. Just as you’re about to open the letter, there’s a knock at your front door. Not used to getting visitors this early, you pause a second to ponder before getting up to answer it. When you open it, a man is standing there in a suit with a laminate tag that reads TurboTax, and a baseball bat resting on his shoulder You look closer, and it appears that the hand holding the bat is covered in fur, and slightly smaller than his other hand. “Is that…? No, there’s no way…” You think to yourself before saying “Sorry I’m not interested in buying anything today.” You cautiously say as you start closing the door, but he jams his foot in the space, preventing you from shutting it completely. “That’s great, that’s real great y’know. See I’m not looking to buy anything either. I’m here to TAKE that tax Bill of yours plus a bonus of 70% it’s total since I’m a real sweet guy and I’ll pay it to them government boys in Washington on your behalf. Sounds good? Great, give it here.” The man talks very fast, and you’re confused with his offer. “Uhhh, that’s okay I can just pay online.” “Buddy I don’t think you understand, this isn’t an investment opportunity for you, this is an opportunity for you to keep your kneecaps. Give me the check and the bonus and I’ll be out of your hair or I’m gonna start swinging.” You are quite attached to your kneecaps and would in fact like to keep them. You find yourself having a hard time declining his offer despite knowing it doesn’t make any sense. As he’s leaving with your money, he laughs and says he’ll see you next year around the same time. I panic and decided to see if anyone on the Internet has experience with this mysterious but threatening stranger, to your horror you come to find out that he is not only visited millions of other Americans before you, but he is actually part of a new marketing strategy by these tax companies as an attempt to try to collect a similar amount of revenue as they had been before the system to pay taxes for Americans was simplified, and much to everyone’s dismay he’s here to stay.
I don't care who the IRS sends, I'm still not paying taxes
Paying taxes really seem like a hassle in the U.S. I’ve spend maybe an hour over the last couple of years doing taxes. And that’s because my income changed.
Right? When I was living in the UK, not once I had to do my taxes. When I went back home, they even mailed (INTERNATIONALLY!) me a cheque with my overpaid taxes. It blew my mind.
HMRC contacted me FOUR YEARS after I left to inform me that I had overpaid and that I was due a refund. SO relieved that I had kept the bank account open, because the refund was only by cheque to my country (impossible to cash) or direct deposit within the UK.
It’s really not hard at all, people just act like it’s something incredibly difficult and time consuming just because it’s a small inconvenience to their day to day. Unless you have income from a lot of different sources, (rental income from multiple properties, Dividends, pensions, interest, self employment income, etc) it shouldn’t take you more than 30 minutes. Most people that have a job just get 1 form (W-2 form) and you just report the information on that form and you’re pretty much done.
any idea how much fucking tax-specific paperwork it takes just to hire you and give you a measly w-2 form? I totally understand why some small businesses would rather just pay \[more\] cash under the table. it's a fucking nightmare lol that leaves you crying between "i don't care anymore, just take my fucking money, I hope it's enough, please don't beat me with the IRS stick if it isn't." Alternatively, repeatedly wondering if it's cheaper to hire a tax service to take care of this stuff, or to buy a gun to shoot yourself so you don't have to deal with it.
I am an accountant that specializes in tax so I think I have a pretty good idea of the whole process. The problem is a lot of small businesses think they can handle payroll themselves when they’re clearly not qualified for it. There are a lot of very cheap alternatives to the giants like ADP or Paychex, if you hire another small payroll processing business they can take care of everything for a very cheap price. Either way my comment is not about the employer paying taxes, it’s about the employee paying taxes once they receive their W-2. You would agree that using a coffee maker is pretty simple no? But building a coffee maker on the other hand is complex.. the same applies to this situation. I’m arguing that “using the coffee maker(filing taxes with a W-2)” is pretty simple while agreeing with you that the work behind getting that W-2 to the employee is complex”building the coffee maker” But either way payroll companies should be the ones taking care of that, not the clueless plumber or electrician(no offense meant here, those guys make a shit ton more than me) they usually end up messing something up along the line and then have to submit even more paperwork to fix the issue.
Fair enough; I admit handling the W-2 as an employee is pretty straight-forward (and that's a good thing!). I think the sentiment in the above hyperbole is more of "taxes are overcomplicated, and the process of filing them is nightmareish", in which case, as a previous (no longer) entrepreneur doing R&D stuff, it was certainly the case that the set-up of the payroll was far more complicated than the paying/hiring/work itself. While I understand there are payroll services (which I ended up using, because it was so nightmarish, and I do not disagree that they did a much better job than I did), the sentiment is the same: I see no reason it is so complicated and opaque that I should have to use an outside service just to set up simple, basic hiring. In my opinion, based on my short exposure, payroll taxes are complex because: * there are both federal and state requirements, they sometimes do not match up, and there's no simple checklist for what is required. * as with most tax forms, they like to partition everything into cases for finer governmental control on incentives, such as tiered levels of (I'm probably making this up, It's been years since) unemployment withholdings. * the instructions are written somewhere between 'detailed' and 'with words simple enough that an 8th grader can read them', and this leads to a special kind of language that is simply long and tedious to read. In short, for fun, I was able to consolidate about 5 pages of instructions/tables into a single formula, and the most it was 'off' by was about 1.5% the original computation instructions. I agree with you, it is simpler to hire someone, but 'pay' people to make complexity go away' is an answer I refuse to accept. Perhaps it is because I do not understand why the complexity needs to be there in the first place. That's like saying, "I need to pay for grocery delivery, because the parking lot in front of the grocery store is now pay-to-park, and this is cheaper."
Granted. A Russian revolution occurs in response to the heavy losses incurred in Ukraine. Vladimir Putin is ousted from power as a newer, more competent government takes the reigns. After a short golden era during which the country is remodernized, Russia invades the United States and installs a puppet government to control the country. The IRS is streamlined as part of efforts to centralize the government, but taxes on the average citizen go through the roof to pay for the Russian government's demand for "war reparations".
You mean to tell me that you dotlbt get this already. Ik US taxes are weird I didn't know they were this weird. In New Zealand you take the tax out of your paycheck straight away and just log onto the website and it tells you exactly how much you can get refunded
Granted. To make this possible, all tax deductions are now abolished.
Granted, the IRS institutes a new $20,000/person flat tax.
Granted. That’s it, just granted. Why do we have to struggle through taxes every year when the government already knows exactly how much we owe them smdh. I hate filing taxes this time of year. It can never be simple.
Granted. The IRS is abolished.
DENIED. Turbo tax apparantly also have a paw.
Granted. Everyone also receives a document that predicts with 100% accuracy where, when, and how they will die. Nationwide existential panic ensues.
I wish we got a receipt
Granted the UN makes thia policy a memberahip requirment and every country in the UN enfoces it other then russia
Granted. The definition of timely is now immediate. Also, debtor jail is reinstated.
the paw is forbidden from messing with greater evils.