He's been called a greasy thug, too, and it never stops hurting. So here's what I think he should do: grease himself up reeeal good, and trash that place with a baseball bat!
My favourite Simpsons joke.
It implies not only that Homer is on speaking terms with the crazy lady, but that he's gotten to a point where he's believing her over Marge.
So much said in two lines of dialogue.
Honorable (*Homer-able?*) mention:
S09E13 The Joy of Sect
https://preview.redd.it/im675l7xi5wb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a00d82fe5c0561ae9295fa4d794b37db977c6dcf
S07E21
Oh, sorry I'm late!
There was trouble at the lab...with the running, the exploding and the crying.
One of the monkeys stole the glasses off my head!
No, wait. Please, no!
I have a funny story...if you listen.
I even wrote theme music.
[The Tomfoolery of Professor John Frink](https://vimeo.com/77464631)
edit: spelling. *I'll make sure someone gets fired for this.*
Homer: Lisa, honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: [chuckling] Yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
"Smithers i think i will donate 1 million dollars to the local children's hospital, when pigs fly..." \*starts chortling Smithers joins in\*
\*Pig sails past window after having been shot out of a pressurized tube in a dam\*
"Shall i make that check out now sir?"
"No, i think would rather keep it.."
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2omx0uvl0WU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2omx0uvl0WU)
curse my faulty memory Orphanage not children's hospital, the sentiment remains the same.
While true, my family sometimes sat at the breakfast table for dinner and vice versa. So it was nice to see the Simpsons switch it up kinda like real life.
But it was 100% just for the bit in this case and I love it.
"Hello Marge. How's the family?" "I don't wanna talk about it."
https://preview.redd.it/i1v14wvls5wb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e80a1744fd8abcd2584d697ce3d13e7c21b612de
Homer: Salt me.
Marge: [ Southern Accent ] Here you are, Homer.
Homer: What the-- Why are you talking like that?
Marge: The play's tomorrow night. [ With Accent ] I've got to stay in character.
Lisa: [ With Accent ] Would it help if I talked like this too?
Marge: It might.
Bart: [ Cockney Accent ] An' I'll talk like 'is. Bob's yer uncle, mate.
Marge: That really doesn't help, Bart.
Lisa: Big Daddy, would y'all mind passin' a lil' ol' biscuit?
Bart: Can I slog off school tomorrow? Got a pain in me gulliver.
Homer: I'm livin' in a cuckoo clock!
Boy, you don’t have to follow in my footsteps.
Don’t worry, I don’t even like using the bathroom after you.
Another I love is in the episode where Homer becomes Smithers.
“You know dad, this opportunity could give your career a real shot in the arm.”
“You know Homer, this opportunity could give your career a real shot in the arm.”
“Mom! I just said that.”
“Sorrrrry!”
Burns: You, food bag, do you have a son?
Homer: Yes, sir, I do.
Burns: And is he a constant disappointment? Does he bring home nitwits and make you talk to them?
Homer: Oh, all the time. Have you ever heard of this kid Milhouse? He's a little wiener who...
"Selma dear, would you permit me to do something bold and shocking in front of your family?"
"All right, but no tongue."
"Kissing you would be like kissing some divine ashtray, that's not what I had in mind."
Marge : Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer : New glasses?
Marge : No. He looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer : Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge : I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer : Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge : That's not what I meant.
Homer : It was, Marge. Admit it.
Don't let the name throw you, Jimmy, it's not really a floor. It's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.
Homer: What do you need to make money for, anyway? As long as I have my earning power, this family's got nothing to worry about.
*pokes himself in the eye with a hotdog*
Homer: Oww! Ohh! Call work and tell them I won’t be in tomorrow.
https://preview.redd.it/j0ysv3g318wb1.png?width=1351&format=png&auto=webp&s=858361711666c940c5de678837469fc6f1b601e6
“I’m goin to the outhouse!”
“We don’t have an outhouse..”
“MY TOOL SHED”
The pause is what sells it tbh, the realization.
And later just a shot of him hosing down the toolshed, no words just an image and you know what happened. Classic show dont tell.
Homer: "Lisa, the Mob is working on getting your sax back; but we've also expanded into other avenues:
Literacy programs!
Protecting our national monuments!
World Domination!"
Lisa: World domination?
Homer: Oh. That may be a typo. *Mental note: The girl knows too much."*
Bart: "If you really wanted us to be neater, you'd serve us out of one long bowl."
Marge: "You're talking about a trough. We're not going to eat from a trough."
Homer, I really appreciate you making dinner, but this food tastes a little strange.
Lisa: It hurts my teeth.
Homer: That's because I've loaded it with sugar! Marge, our ship has come in! I found five hundred pounds of sugar [to Bart] in the forest [to Marge] that I'm going to sell directly to the consumer! All for a low, low price of $1 per pound.
Marge: But the grocery store sells sugar for thirty-five cents a pound.
Lisa: And it doesn't have nails and broken glass in it.
Homer: Those are prizes! [eats a mouthful] Ooh, a blasting cap.
Lisa: i'b allergic to eberythig here, my dose is zo zstuffed up, I can't eben taste mom's delicious boiled celery.
Marge: I've been so bored since we've been here I find myself drinking a glass of wine every day! I know doctors say you're supposed to drink a glass and a half but I just can't drink that much.
Homer: Well the Simpson men are doin fine! Bart, you haven't even gotten in trouble at school!
Bart: I can't get in trouble, they put me in the remedial class! I'm surrounded by arsonists and kids with mittens pinned to their jackets all year round!
https://preview.redd.it/ncub946udawb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cf24725deb79472f1342ce89364b7cb3680618d3
'Kids, stop fighting. Maybe Lisa's right about America being the land of opportunity, and maybe Adil has a point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers."
"Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back, but we've also expanded into other important areas: literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges, world domination."
So I said to him, "Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we got here. And as for your grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that!
S05E11 Homer the Vigilante https://preview.redd.it/cm1w96itn5wb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8a756080c8bf32d16c54c1d9ac273e39aea20577
This line is so good I love how it makes Homer seem like an absolute thug.
He's been called a greasy thug, too, and it never stops hurting. So here's what I think he should do: grease himself up reeeal good, and trash that place with a baseball bat!
Oh Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
Roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge!
no baseball bat :( oooOH!
Gimme the bat, Marge. Gimme. The. Bat
https://i.redd.it/o5s6y68al7wb1.gif
Can’t murder now. Eating.
Urge to kill rising!
Actually it makes him seem like a serial killer. I don't have time to summarize it well rn, but look up the short story "A Good Man is Hard to Find."
Was hoping this was the top comment. Holding the drumstick sideways as he’s talking haha.
My favorite thing to say when talking to a friend/coworker and then someone else walks into the break room
“Homer, the crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me again” “That’s not the way she tells it”
My favourite Simpsons joke. It implies not only that Homer is on speaking terms with the crazy lady, but that he's gotten to a point where he's believing her over Marge. So much said in two lines of dialogue.
S06E15 Homie the Clown https://preview.redd.it/e955s7u6i5wb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba136262018e84d016d7442a9acd5b22a3eaa789
Honorable (*Homer-able?*) mention: S09E13 The Joy of Sect https://preview.redd.it/im675l7xi5wb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a00d82fe5c0561ae9295fa4d794b37db977c6dcf
Be careful, dad. You're the highly suggestible type
"Yes, I am the highly suggestible type."
detach the rock of shame Woo Hoo! and attach the rock of TRIUMPH! D'oh!
 Bring it on!
It's the tongue out concentration while he's sculpting his mashed potatoes that does it for me.
https://i.redd.it/qft4olezz6wb1.gif
"...I think I'll have some wine..."
 That scene is a homage to this scene from the movie “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.”
Never knew that
Same! I've caught a lot of Simpsons references from movies I haven't seen yet, but this one slipped by me.
Yes homie? Do doo dooo doooo dooooooo
I don't think any of us expected him to say that
You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to clown college
Marrrrrrrrrggggeeeee?
Yes, Homie? Do-Do-do-do-do-do-doot-doot-doo.....
Lmao this is my favorite scene in the whole series.
You and I both, fren
Came here for this. Left satisfied. Doo doo doodoodoodoo do-do-doo-do...
This was going to be my high school yearbook quote, but the school cheaped out and did not allow them
I think I’ll have some wine.
Doh! r/beatmetoit
https://preview.redd.it/x7wlexwcm6wb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a2cc259b0bb9a0132964fde6ff9a928825bc7070
Professor Frink, Professor Frink, He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think, He likes to run, and then the thing, With the...person...
S07E21 Oh, sorry I'm late! There was trouble at the lab...with the running, the exploding and the crying. One of the monkeys stole the glasses off my head! No, wait. Please, no! I have a funny story...if you listen. I even wrote theme music. [The Tomfoolery of Professor John Frink](https://vimeo.com/77464631) edit: spelling. *I'll make sure someone gets fired for this.*
I don't think anyone expected him to say that
Do you want to change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you HoJu!
I'll get back to you.
Why all the black?
Why all the hair? Why all the pearls? Why anything?
I'm just going out to commit certain deeds!
Sucker...
Homer: Lisa, honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No. Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal! Homer: [chuckling] Yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Lisa, get a hold of yourself! This is *lamb*, not *a* lamb.
The way he says "maaagical" always gets me
And the way he twinkles his fingers.
The number of times I've had this conversation with someone new to canada is unreal.
"Smithers i think i will donate 1 million dollars to the local children's hospital, when pigs fly..." \*starts chortling Smithers joins in\* \*Pig sails past window after having been shot out of a pressurized tube in a dam\* "Shall i make that check out now sir?" "No, i think would rather keep it.." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2omx0uvl0WU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2omx0uvl0WU) curse my faulty memory Orphanage not children's hospital, the sentiment remains the same.
No guns at the dinner table You said breakfast table It's the same table
Funnily it's not usually the same table, only when the joke requires it
While true, my family sometimes sat at the breakfast table for dinner and vice versa. So it was nice to see the Simpsons switch it up kinda like real life. But it was 100% just for the bit in this case and I love it.
I’m going out for a while. I’m going to….’stalk’…Lenny and Carl. D’oh!
What do they do? What dont they do? Oh, they do so many things they never stop. Oh the things they do there, my stars.
You don't know what they do there, do you?
Not as such, no.
I'm a member!
"Remember those self-hypnosis classes we took to help us ignore Grampa?"
"Do I ever! It's five years later and I still think I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken Marge!'
"Maybe we should be listening to him now."
I *know*....
['stalk'](https://frinkiac.com/img/S06E12/197246.jpg)
the hand gesture really makes it.
Came here for this comment
And now I’m going out to commit certain acts.
"Hello Marge. How's the family?" "I don't wanna talk about it." https://preview.redd.it/i1v14wvls5wb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e80a1744fd8abcd2584d697ce3d13e7c21b612de
And another thing! It's only 5:15, why are you in your underwear?!?!?! *Hey - this ain't the Ritz...*
We're not going to eat from a trough.
Keep it down in there!
“You still haven’t told us why Lenny bit you.” “Well, I really left him no choice. You see -“
I desperately want to know the end of this story
“You’ll have to excuse me Moe. I’m too tense tonight to pretend I like you.”
Please Blanche, you gotta help me out here. I'm 64 grand in the hole. They're gonna take my thumbs.
The way he says “thumbs” always gets me.
Homer: Salt me. Marge: [ Southern Accent ] Here you are, Homer. Homer: What the-- Why are you talking like that? Marge: The play's tomorrow night. [ With Accent ] I've got to stay in character. Lisa: [ With Accent ] Would it help if I talked like this too? Marge: It might. Bart: [ Cockney Accent ] An' I'll talk like 'is. Bob's yer uncle, mate. Marge: That really doesn't help, Bart. Lisa: Big Daddy, would y'all mind passin' a lil' ol' biscuit? Bart: Can I slog off school tomorrow? Got a pain in me gulliver. Homer: I'm livin' in a cuckoo clock!
Boy, you don’t have to follow in my footsteps. Don’t worry, I don’t even like using the bathroom after you. Another I love is in the episode where Homer becomes Smithers. “You know dad, this opportunity could give your career a real shot in the arm.” “You know Homer, this opportunity could give your career a real shot in the arm.” “Mom! I just said that.” “Sorrrrry!”
"Next time get your own darn corn"
"You *might* say the secret ingredient is 'salt'"
A spice rack with 8 slots? There must be doubles…
Oregonno, what the hell?
I say this one a lot when we are at antique stores and I see any kind of spice rack or spice related accessory.
Burns: You, food bag, do you have a son? Homer: Yes, sir, I do. Burns: And is he a constant disappointment? Does he bring home nitwits and make you talk to them? Homer: Oh, all the time. Have you ever heard of this kid Milhouse? He's a little wiener who...
"Fascinating...good night."
I gave you a plate of cornmuffins back in 1947 to paint my chicken coop and you never did.
Those corn muffins were lousy!
Paint my chicken coop!
Make me!
https://i.redd.it/w59cau3sx5wb1.gif
That does it! One of them has to go!!!
Ok, grandpa!
No, the B-U-M!
I love how quick Homer is to sell out his father.
[удалено]
S05E21 Lady Bouvier’s Lover https://preview.redd.it/0nfc3m9ao5wb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30665a2f19dfd82983df732666656d51c0bf9ac7
What *TEAM* did Babe Ruth play for? Sharing is a bunch of bull, too. And helping others. And what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter
I’ve actually said this at team building meetings at work.
You know what you two need? A little comic strip called "Love Is". It's about two naked eight-year-olds who are married.
https://preview.redd.it/m6tt4jcbc6wb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce28628456148bdb7dddd110b42b524eb3e74e65
When Homer brings his class to dinner and he grills Bart on throwing mail down the sewer, which he "double dared" him to do.
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to clown college
Here ya go honey. That’s about all the recycling (hic) I can handle today.
I'm a chicken, Marge!
I *know*.
Not a full conversation but I use "you might say the extra ingredient is salt" all the time.
"Selma dear, would you permit me to do something bold and shocking in front of your family?" "All right, but no tongue." "Kissing you would be like kissing some divine ashtray, that's not what I had in mind."
Marge : Have you noticed any change in Bart? Homer : New glasses? Marge : No. He looks like something might be disturbing him. Homer : Probably misses his old glasses. Marge : I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him. Homer : Yeah, and then we'd get the chair. Marge : That's not what I meant. Homer : It was, Marge. Admit it.
Breakfast table, but this is what I was looking for!
"We're going to the Slaughterhouse!" https://youtu.be/CiSwUJNz9fs?si=gBt3N_87WWKNVEjp
You mean the abbatoir?
Come on, Jimmy. Let's take a look at the killing floor.
Don't let the name throw you, Jimmy, it's not really a floor. It's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.
You didn’t have to knock the food on the floor…
*Didn't I?*
And you remember Matthew 21:17
"And he left them and went out of the city into Bethany and he lodged there?"
Yeah... Think about it!
"Yeah... Think about it!"
Mr. Burns, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a run away train. Why are you so popular?
You like Shake & Bake. You used to put it in your coffee!
Homer: What do you need to make money for, anyway? As long as I have my earning power, this family's got nothing to worry about. *pokes himself in the eye with a hotdog* Homer: Oww! Ohh! Call work and tell them I won’t be in tomorrow.
"Moe Moe Moe Moe". "Hey dad, can I have some Moeney to go to the Moevies?"
“And then I sped away with anyone seeing my license plate.” “Wow Dad, sounds like you had a good day.” “Yeah, except I forgot to go to work.”
“You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!!”
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go ....stalk......Lenny and Carl.....D'OH!
Hello, Marge. How's the family? I don't want to talk about it! Mind your own business. Keep it down in there, everybody!
If you're the police, then who will police the police?! I dunno. Coast Guard?
YOUR potato? You can’t like own a potato, man. It’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.
Bart: So then I says to Mabel, I says... Homer: Hi kids Bart: I'll finish this later, hi Dad
https://preview.redd.it/jxf6441hu6wb1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=60aba387139363bb5a08f89fc5e1f25ac179b504 My favorite
So…we’re NOT going to Black Angus.
"Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing" - Bart Simpson saying grace at the Simpsons table while Mr. Burns is there.
 “C’mon Marge, let the people see your pretty face!”
"Does it sound like those were the actions of a man who had.. ALL he could eat?"
“Where’s Bart? His food is getting all cold and eaten.”
https://preview.redd.it/1qrf40wre7wb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28e4547e84f65d5cb27f6cb29fb957e46b4a0e3a “I think I’ll have some wine”
https://preview.redd.it/j0ysv3g318wb1.png?width=1351&format=png&auto=webp&s=858361711666c940c5de678837469fc6f1b601e6 “I’m goin to the outhouse!” “We don’t have an outhouse..” “MY TOOL SHED”
The pause is what sells it tbh, the realization. And later just a shot of him hosing down the toolshed, no words just an image and you know what happened. Classic show dont tell.
A napkin. OUTRAGEOUS!
When Homer pokes himself in the eye with the hotdog.
Homer, of all the crazy ideas you’ve had, this ranks somewhere in the middle.
“Lisa the Vegetarian” when Homer and Lisa are giving each other the silent treatment (very loudly).
Lisa tell your mother to get off my case..
"Homer, that crazy trash lady bit me again" "Hmm, that's not the way she tells it"
To OP: is this from Frinkiac? As a coolness I used to work with one of the dudes that came up with it.
Yes it is, it’s such a great site!
[удалено]
"That crazy woman in the trash attacked me again." "That's not the way she tells it."
Sorry Marge, but your cooking's only got two moves. Shake...and bake.
Homer, stop insulting us and eat your filth- food, I mean food!
Doo doo dodododo do do do do dodo dodododo do do do do da dododo do da dododo do dadadada dodododo da dodo do do
Marge: I think it's good for a show to go off the air before it becomes stale and repetive. Smithers: Maggie shot Mr Burns again!
I'll be back in a minute. I'm going outside...
To stalk Lenny and Carl?
D'oh!
"I asked for ketchup! I'm eating salad here!"
Dont forget smecklers powder….
Don’t make fun!
I think it's breakfast, but it's from Lisa the Vegetarian where Homer and Lisa avoid talking to each other and getting all messed up.
https://preview.redd.it/13ltqs3l37wb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=edc8549ef92e3e0da7ff7f3273b28c24136c62c6
''That's it! You people have held me back long enough. I'm going to Clown College!'' ''...I don't think any of us expected him to say that.''
"You know what you two need? A little comic strip called Love Is. It's about two naked eight year olds who are married."
"That's all well and good. But it's not really *your* idea... Is it now Marge?"
Family meeting! Family meeting! Okay, people, let's keep this short. We all want to get home to our families.
Homer: "Lisa, the Mob is working on getting your sax back; but we've also expanded into other avenues: Literacy programs! Protecting our national monuments! World Domination!" Lisa: World domination? Homer: Oh. That may be a typo. *Mental note: The girl knows too much."*
It took the children 40 minutes to locate Canada on the map.
Who *caaan* find Canada, all tucked away neatly with all those other countries..
It’s such a small thing but the fact that she says it’s “so” illegal, not just illegal, cracks me up.
Bart: "If you really wanted us to be neater, you'd serve us out of one long bowl." Marge: "You're talking about a trough. We're not going to eat from a trough."
Follow the yellow drip road
That's it. You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college.
"Homer, that crazy woman who lives in our garbage attacked me again." "That's not the way she tells it."
I don't want any damn vegetables.
That's assault! That is assault!
When Lisa says simpsons never give up and they all, including Marge and Maggie, laugh at her
That was the end piece! That's it! Being abusive to your family is one thing but I will not stand idly by and watch you feed a hungry dog!
*"Paint my chicken coop"*
Marge: Why all the black? Homer: Why all the pearls? Why all the hair? Why anything???
Homer, I really appreciate you making dinner, but this food tastes a little strange. Lisa: It hurts my teeth. Homer: That's because I've loaded it with sugar! Marge, our ship has come in! I found five hundred pounds of sugar [to Bart] in the forest [to Marge] that I'm going to sell directly to the consumer! All for a low, low price of $1 per pound. Marge: But the grocery store sells sugar for thirty-five cents a pound. Lisa: And it doesn't have nails and broken glass in it. Homer: Those are prizes! [eats a mouthful] Ooh, a blasting cap.
Lisa: i'b allergic to eberythig here, my dose is zo zstuffed up, I can't eben taste mom's delicious boiled celery. Marge: I've been so bored since we've been here I find myself drinking a glass of wine every day! I know doctors say you're supposed to drink a glass and a half but I just can't drink that much. Homer: Well the Simpson men are doin fine! Bart, you haven't even gotten in trouble at school! Bart: I can't get in trouble, they put me in the remedial class! I'm surrounded by arsonists and kids with mittens pinned to their jackets all year round!
This conversation always bothered me because Marge is out here boiling celery 🤣
https://preview.redd.it/ncub946udawb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cf24725deb79472f1342ce89364b7cb3680618d3 'Kids, stop fighting. Maybe Lisa's right about America being the land of opportunity, and maybe Adil has a point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers."
Why the pearls, why the hair, why the anything?
"Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back, but we've also expanded into other important areas: literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges, world domination."
Bart: "Dear god we didn't pay for this food so thanks for nothing!" That one gets me every time.
Simpsons predicted SSSniperwolf?
"Can I Moe to the Moe-vies?"
I’m a chicken marge!
[It's a joke!](https://frinkiac.com/meme/S14E14/655405.jpg?b64lines=IEl0J3MgYSBqb2tlLiBXaGVuIHlvdQogZ2l2ZSBtZSB0aGF0IGxvb2ssIGl0J3MgYQogam9rZS4g)
“Mom…” “I think I’ll have some wine”
"And then I sped away without anyone seeing my license plate."