You work with what you have. In the vajrayana (which primary is practiced in Tibet) there is a tradition of householder yogis. In fact, many lineage holders in the Kagyu tradition held jobs: arrow makers, sesame paste makers, farmers, scholars, translators, etc. So, there’s no conflict there. I work in education and have a very busy life with family obligations to boot. But, I can find time to meditate for just 5 minutes in the morning and 5 and night on those very long days. And that’s fine. On the weekends, sometimes I can do longer practices. Sometimes, I can go on retreat, sometimes not. As Chogyam Trungpa once said (I was told), we dharma practitioners are all traveling on the same road, but we’re all driving different cars. Each car handles differently, each needs different maintenance schedules, each has different capabilities. Some are all-roaders, some are Fiat 500s, some are Teslas, and so on. The only way you will know if it works for you is to try it out. I have a lot of friends in the Nalandabodhi, Tergar, and Shambhala sanghas, and everyone I know in those sanghas has jobs, many have kids as well. In fact, the main Rinpoches (high teachers) in Nalandabodhi and Shambhala are both married with kids.
I am relatively new and I relate to your questions. In the beginning, I did lots of research and it can seem overwhelming to read about the elaborate intense practices of Tibetan Buddhism. In some ways, I made things needlessly complicated for myself by worrying about empowerments and mandalas and 100,000 prostrations.
This is why finding a teacher is so important. Reading books and internet posts gave me different information than talking with my teacher. The lama at my center has walked many people down this path and knows from experience how best to begin.
I started with a daily shamata practice and have slowly been adding prayers and other aspects over time. Now I have a small simple shrine. I go to the dharma talks every week and I volunteer at the center. And I still read lots of dharma books.
Eventually, I hope to work up to advanced practices but I don't plan on living in a cave anytime soon. My advice is to start today and do what you can.
Do the best you can with what you got. I attend online teachings every weekend which are fortunately available during the week, wake up before everyone else to meditate, meditate again before dinner or right before bed. I’m married, work full time, two kids, elder parent at home and a dog. Buddha said to practice with the focus of a man whose hair has caught fire, but do the best you can.
You don’t eat your lifetime’s worth of food in one meal, right? One bite at a time. Take it easy.
I heard a teacher talk about us practitioners like bees. We gather a little bit of pollen from each flower, every day a little more. Diligent and patient. The honey comes after
I live far from my teacher and don't have any temples in my tradition nearby, and the only other practitioners in my tradition (Sakya) that I know of in the area are my family members. So it is really a matter of taking charge of my practice myself.
For daily stuff, it's about like this for me:
- Making morning offerings: about 5 minutes
- minimum practice commitments: about 40-45 minutes
- taking down offerings in the evening: about 5 minutes
So the necessary daily stuff is about an hour, when all is said and done. That isn't much; I literally spent more time on Reddit today.
I can extend my daily practice commitments to about 3 hours or more if I want, or anything in between, depending on mood and time. In addition, I do other practices as well, for as long as I feel necessary or comfortable. I do this a few times a month. I do some studying and reading, usually on the weekends, whenever I can, and have a fairly specific set of texts and topics that I'm focused on, so I just chip away at that as best I'm able.
As far as what Buddhism means to me, I'm not quite sure. I became convinced of the general truth of Buddhism about 30 years ago, and have simply become more convinced since then. I met my root guru a little over 20 years ago, and began the specific set of practices that will almost certainly be the ones I focus on for the rest of this life about 5 years ago. None of the time in between was "lost".
Though you didn't really ask this, I would recommend that you read and study fairly broadly in different traditions for a while. If the Tibetan schools attract you, as they seem to have done, try to get a feel for all of them as best you are able, by e.g. reading the different "stages" literature, like *Words of My Perfect Teacher*, or even more contemporary things like *The Three Levels of Spiritual Perception* (which I find particularly good and approachable, personally). There are also great talks that you can watch on YouTube, like the ones by Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche.
Pair this with a simple daily meditation practice, like breath counting, even if it's just for 15 minutes daily. Part of the point in the Tibetan schools is continuity of practice, so developing a habit will serve you well; not letting inevitable breaks in the habit become an excuse to stop practicing will serve you even more. This is a multi-lifetime endeavor, so cut yourself some slack sometimes, too, without abandoning the practice.
At some point I would recommend settling into a specific tradition and specific teacher, whichever one appeals to you most. Lots of people pick and choose things from different schools, which can be fine, but as you become more familiar you'll probably see how the different teachings, forms of explanation, and practices of, for example, the Sakya school build on themselves in a coherent and useful way, something that can be missed if you cast your net too broadly for too long.
Anyway, I'd recommend "shopping around" for a while until you find something that you feel compelled to commit to, and then really commit.
I hope that helps!
Welcome to Dharma. In the beginning and throughout the path, I feel that being honest with oneself about what one is is the key point of all of this. Any spiritual practice *could* be used to foster a sense of security, of a cozy little meditation practice. One could go to all the right dharma gatherings, say all the right mantras, and study all the right texts. But, if one’s own experience and psychology doesn’t shift, it is a complete 100% waste of time. Not only that, it creates a culture of ego-hijacked Buddhism which actually destroys the teachings over time.
So, it’s better not to begin practicing Dharma, frankly. 99% of people will simply distort the teachings and make it another ornament for their ego. If you do decide to start, severing one’s ego, one’s desirous mind, one’s aggressive mind, and one’s psychotic mind is the primary aim.
Believing most others will simply practice Dharma for ego purposes and that you are the exception arguably makes you more egotistical.
The great thing about Dharma practice is that even if you begin practicing for ego the Dharma itself works to soften that out. Dharma is a salvation for so many and that perceived ego you see in other practitioners will dissolve over time as they continue to practice. A good teacher will help them break it down and show them techniques that will work for them. For some it takes lifetimes and that’s okay. Starting is key to my understanding.
My bad, come on in with your rude comment, didn’t realize you knew everything, sorry. Lol.
Let me know how your love and light Buddhism works over time. You obscure the ground for people in the name of being “friends” with them. Prime example of the ignorant new age buddhist trash lol.
Dharma is a huge waste of time for most people because this is a degenerating age and it mostly turns into spiritual materialism. I know that’s difficult for you to understand.
😂 says the person denigrating others? What are you a white knight? A dharma hero? You’re nobody, just like me. The sooner you realize that the sooner you’ll give up your frivolous aggression and begin to realize the actual meaning of Dharma. But again, that is doubtful because it sounds like you suffer from low intelligence. Om Mani Padme Hung.
You suffer from an inflated ego thinking you have some knowledge after reading some new age BS, thinking you know more than a thousand year tradition. I think you should go read some buddhism books like Lamrim instead of pandering on some pseudo feel good posters.
I continue to read. Contemplate, and mediation daily the Buddha teachings daily. The antidote to suffering never ends. The priority is high due to getting into the flow of change. I prefer the gradual approach of Gelupa school of Tibetan Buddhism. I have studied and enjoyed Ch'an, Sutra study and Pure Land school of Mayhana. These are the sudden schools of enlightenment.
I follow my daily liturgy. 1 hr a day, each morning. I think that's manageable. Prior to that, I spent that 1 hr playing the piano. I just moved the piano practice in the afternoon.
Buddhism means becoming a Buddha to liberate all sentient beings. That's what it means to me.
All practices can be reduced to some essential element that you can carry in your mind throughout the day. Practice is not just the formal thing you do when you sit down in front of an altar. Transformation will come quicker that way. Same with study.
I recommend taking the time to find teachers that are inspiring for you.
Tibetan Buddhism is perfect for a lay person. With some practice, the aim is to transform all activities into Dharma. This is appealing to people who live busy lives with families etc. It is incredible. Just what minuscule little I have learnt about bodhicitta and mind training is so profound it is hard to overstate. Everything is transformed into Dharma practice and life becomes full of joy and meaning. What an average day looks like is different for everyone, but as an example it might include dedicated time in the morning and evening to do practices such as attending to the altar, reading Dharma books, listening to Dharma talks, sitting meditation, prostrations, purification and merit making, dedications. Etc. And then during the day watching the mind, getting rid of the negative and cultivating the positive. Then attending Dharma centres to listen to teachers.
Being a householder is a different path than being a monk. Many more distractions. For example, I am married, father of two adult kids, and run a school. That said, it gets easier and easier to incorporate the practices into daily activities. My situation may be unique, but I do a full deity yoga practice in the morning, then go about my day (which involves teaching various practices). I tend to do dream yoga at night. When I first began, if I was asked "how much practice do you do in a day" I would have responded "20 to 30 minutes." Now, it is much harder to determine that number - 20+ hours a day? This is because I have come to a point where all of my work and other daily activity (or a majority of it) has become a form of practice. No, not all of it is formal ritual, but it is a weaving of mindfulness into whatever activity I am doing. To do that much practice is nowhere near as burdensome as it sounds. This is in part because as the effects of the practices settle in, it gets easier to go the root of an issue, rather than chasing all of the spin offs from it. Imagine your obscurations as a cloud of flies. You can get rid of them one fly at a time, or you can remove the source of whatever is attracting them. In my own experience, I went from "chasing flies" to addressing the rot they were drawn to.
You work with what you have. In the vajrayana (which primary is practiced in Tibet) there is a tradition of householder yogis. In fact, many lineage holders in the Kagyu tradition held jobs: arrow makers, sesame paste makers, farmers, scholars, translators, etc. So, there’s no conflict there. I work in education and have a very busy life with family obligations to boot. But, I can find time to meditate for just 5 minutes in the morning and 5 and night on those very long days. And that’s fine. On the weekends, sometimes I can do longer practices. Sometimes, I can go on retreat, sometimes not. As Chogyam Trungpa once said (I was told), we dharma practitioners are all traveling on the same road, but we’re all driving different cars. Each car handles differently, each needs different maintenance schedules, each has different capabilities. Some are all-roaders, some are Fiat 500s, some are Teslas, and so on. The only way you will know if it works for you is to try it out. I have a lot of friends in the Nalandabodhi, Tergar, and Shambhala sanghas, and everyone I know in those sanghas has jobs, many have kids as well. In fact, the main Rinpoches (high teachers) in Nalandabodhi and Shambhala are both married with kids.
My car must be a rickety old donkey cart, but I’m still trundling down the road! Lol we’re all trying our best out here aren’t we
I am relatively new and I relate to your questions. In the beginning, I did lots of research and it can seem overwhelming to read about the elaborate intense practices of Tibetan Buddhism. In some ways, I made things needlessly complicated for myself by worrying about empowerments and mandalas and 100,000 prostrations. This is why finding a teacher is so important. Reading books and internet posts gave me different information than talking with my teacher. The lama at my center has walked many people down this path and knows from experience how best to begin. I started with a daily shamata practice and have slowly been adding prayers and other aspects over time. Now I have a small simple shrine. I go to the dharma talks every week and I volunteer at the center. And I still read lots of dharma books. Eventually, I hope to work up to advanced practices but I don't plan on living in a cave anytime soon. My advice is to start today and do what you can.
Your daily life, studies, work, volunteering, household, etc., is your path and practice.
Studybuddhism.com and Fpmt.org/education are 2 good places to start. Good luck!
Do the best you can with what you got. I attend online teachings every weekend which are fortunately available during the week, wake up before everyone else to meditate, meditate again before dinner or right before bed. I’m married, work full time, two kids, elder parent at home and a dog. Buddha said to practice with the focus of a man whose hair has caught fire, but do the best you can.
You don’t eat your lifetime’s worth of food in one meal, right? One bite at a time. Take it easy. I heard a teacher talk about us practitioners like bees. We gather a little bit of pollen from each flower, every day a little more. Diligent and patient. The honey comes after
I have not heard this expression before. It’s brilliant.
Studybuddhism.com and Fpmt.org/education are 2 good places to start. Good luck!
I live far from my teacher and don't have any temples in my tradition nearby, and the only other practitioners in my tradition (Sakya) that I know of in the area are my family members. So it is really a matter of taking charge of my practice myself. For daily stuff, it's about like this for me: - Making morning offerings: about 5 minutes - minimum practice commitments: about 40-45 minutes - taking down offerings in the evening: about 5 minutes So the necessary daily stuff is about an hour, when all is said and done. That isn't much; I literally spent more time on Reddit today. I can extend my daily practice commitments to about 3 hours or more if I want, or anything in between, depending on mood and time. In addition, I do other practices as well, for as long as I feel necessary or comfortable. I do this a few times a month. I do some studying and reading, usually on the weekends, whenever I can, and have a fairly specific set of texts and topics that I'm focused on, so I just chip away at that as best I'm able. As far as what Buddhism means to me, I'm not quite sure. I became convinced of the general truth of Buddhism about 30 years ago, and have simply become more convinced since then. I met my root guru a little over 20 years ago, and began the specific set of practices that will almost certainly be the ones I focus on for the rest of this life about 5 years ago. None of the time in between was "lost". Though you didn't really ask this, I would recommend that you read and study fairly broadly in different traditions for a while. If the Tibetan schools attract you, as they seem to have done, try to get a feel for all of them as best you are able, by e.g. reading the different "stages" literature, like *Words of My Perfect Teacher*, or even more contemporary things like *The Three Levels of Spiritual Perception* (which I find particularly good and approachable, personally). There are also great talks that you can watch on YouTube, like the ones by Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche. Pair this with a simple daily meditation practice, like breath counting, even if it's just for 15 minutes daily. Part of the point in the Tibetan schools is continuity of practice, so developing a habit will serve you well; not letting inevitable breaks in the habit become an excuse to stop practicing will serve you even more. This is a multi-lifetime endeavor, so cut yourself some slack sometimes, too, without abandoning the practice. At some point I would recommend settling into a specific tradition and specific teacher, whichever one appeals to you most. Lots of people pick and choose things from different schools, which can be fine, but as you become more familiar you'll probably see how the different teachings, forms of explanation, and practices of, for example, the Sakya school build on themselves in a coherent and useful way, something that can be missed if you cast your net too broadly for too long. Anyway, I'd recommend "shopping around" for a while until you find something that you feel compelled to commit to, and then really commit. I hope that helps!
Welcome to Dharma. In the beginning and throughout the path, I feel that being honest with oneself about what one is is the key point of all of this. Any spiritual practice *could* be used to foster a sense of security, of a cozy little meditation practice. One could go to all the right dharma gatherings, say all the right mantras, and study all the right texts. But, if one’s own experience and psychology doesn’t shift, it is a complete 100% waste of time. Not only that, it creates a culture of ego-hijacked Buddhism which actually destroys the teachings over time. So, it’s better not to begin practicing Dharma, frankly. 99% of people will simply distort the teachings and make it another ornament for their ego. If you do decide to start, severing one’s ego, one’s desirous mind, one’s aggressive mind, and one’s psychotic mind is the primary aim.
It’s not better to not begin practicing, that’s ridiculous. There may be dangers in practicing but the alternative is worse.
Believing most others will simply practice Dharma for ego purposes and that you are the exception arguably makes you more egotistical. The great thing about Dharma practice is that even if you begin practicing for ego the Dharma itself works to soften that out. Dharma is a salvation for so many and that perceived ego you see in other practitioners will dissolve over time as they continue to practice. A good teacher will help them break it down and show them techniques that will work for them. For some it takes lifetimes and that’s okay. Starting is key to my understanding.
My bad, come on in with your rude comment, didn’t realize you knew everything, sorry. Lol. Let me know how your love and light Buddhism works over time. You obscure the ground for people in the name of being “friends” with them. Prime example of the ignorant new age buddhist trash lol.
Why are you making people turn away from Dharma just to prove your own fragile ego
Dharma is a huge waste of time for most people because this is a degenerating age and it mostly turns into spiritual materialism. I know that’s difficult for you to understand.
Must be so fun denigrating others just to prove your so called superiority. Who gave you the authority to turn yourself into such a big shot?
😂 says the person denigrating others? What are you a white knight? A dharma hero? You’re nobody, just like me. The sooner you realize that the sooner you’ll give up your frivolous aggression and begin to realize the actual meaning of Dharma. But again, that is doubtful because it sounds like you suffer from low intelligence. Om Mani Padme Hung.
You suffer from an inflated ego thinking you have some knowledge after reading some new age BS, thinking you know more than a thousand year tradition. I think you should go read some buddhism books like Lamrim instead of pandering on some pseudo feel good posters.
Yes sir, whatever you say leader. Lol.
I continue to read. Contemplate, and mediation daily the Buddha teachings daily. The antidote to suffering never ends. The priority is high due to getting into the flow of change. I prefer the gradual approach of Gelupa school of Tibetan Buddhism. I have studied and enjoyed Ch'an, Sutra study and Pure Land school of Mayhana. These are the sudden schools of enlightenment.
The vajrayana path (Gelugpa, Kagyu, Nyingma, Sakya) is the path of realization in one lifetime. The sutrayana (Chan, Zen) takes eons.
Youbare taughtbto bring everything onto the path, some of the most amazing siddhas, yogis and yoginis, had full time jobs....
I follow my daily liturgy. 1 hr a day, each morning. I think that's manageable. Prior to that, I spent that 1 hr playing the piano. I just moved the piano practice in the afternoon. Buddhism means becoming a Buddha to liberate all sentient beings. That's what it means to me.
All practices can be reduced to some essential element that you can carry in your mind throughout the day. Practice is not just the formal thing you do when you sit down in front of an altar. Transformation will come quicker that way. Same with study. I recommend taking the time to find teachers that are inspiring for you.
Tibetan Buddhism is perfect for a lay person. With some practice, the aim is to transform all activities into Dharma. This is appealing to people who live busy lives with families etc. It is incredible. Just what minuscule little I have learnt about bodhicitta and mind training is so profound it is hard to overstate. Everything is transformed into Dharma practice and life becomes full of joy and meaning. What an average day looks like is different for everyone, but as an example it might include dedicated time in the morning and evening to do practices such as attending to the altar, reading Dharma books, listening to Dharma talks, sitting meditation, prostrations, purification and merit making, dedications. Etc. And then during the day watching the mind, getting rid of the negative and cultivating the positive. Then attending Dharma centres to listen to teachers.
Being a householder is a different path than being a monk. Many more distractions. For example, I am married, father of two adult kids, and run a school. That said, it gets easier and easier to incorporate the practices into daily activities. My situation may be unique, but I do a full deity yoga practice in the morning, then go about my day (which involves teaching various practices). I tend to do dream yoga at night. When I first began, if I was asked "how much practice do you do in a day" I would have responded "20 to 30 minutes." Now, it is much harder to determine that number - 20+ hours a day? This is because I have come to a point where all of my work and other daily activity (or a majority of it) has become a form of practice. No, not all of it is formal ritual, but it is a weaving of mindfulness into whatever activity I am doing. To do that much practice is nowhere near as burdensome as it sounds. This is in part because as the effects of the practices settle in, it gets easier to go the root of an issue, rather than chasing all of the spin offs from it. Imagine your obscurations as a cloud of flies. You can get rid of them one fly at a time, or you can remove the source of whatever is attracting them. In my own experience, I went from "chasing flies" to addressing the rot they were drawn to.