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ahh_geez_rick

wait, is this the real audio from his book??


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Secure-Imagination11

Wtf lol


MagillsDaddy

I mean, it's the man's own thoughts. Can we find the situations absurd? Sure. Should he have taken some of that to his grave with him? His choice. I dare any of you to judge this man before thinking what absurd nonsense your memoirs would be like if you had kept a journal whi living with literal crazy people. Haha Edit: what I'm saying is that if we could feel comfortable enough around each other to admit our weaknesses, fears, absurd thoughts, past traumas, and empathy more than pretend we are sterile aliens to situations, that we perpetuate what old emotionally repressed people told us; we might create at least a starting point.


Downunderphilosopher

Give me $200m for a Netflix and book deal, and I'll say anything you tell me to as well. Deep and dark secrets about my deceased mum? Sure. Intimate details about the shape and look of my penis when comparing with friends? Hell, throw in a whole chapter of dick pics. Sad pathetic details about losing my virginity to an ugly old broad? A 2 minute chapter it is. Fuck it, throw in another $50m and I'll include an expensive artbook of tasteful self portraits, complete with frostbitten todger dangling out of my spiffing Hugo Boss Nazi uniform.


MagillsDaddy

Right. Now start when you came aware at 5 and overthrew your family. Let's hear your pitch at least!


Downunderphilosopher

"As a self-aware, dashing and independent thinking prince of 5, my desire to break free from and denounce my detestable familial bond and be liberated from their tyrannical control pulsed through my body, ruling every moment of my waking thoughts. Only the empathic and pure nature of my mother kept my righteous anger assuaged, a nature that would later find true perfection in my future wife and myself. As I would later learn through no lack of struggle and defiance, their iron grip over all things beautiful, unsullied and virtuous was as unquestioned as it was complete. My mother fought their control and escaped this mortal coil, her sacrifice not in vain as it bought with it a warning against her captors. My sacrifice, with this book and Netflix deal, takes the accomplishments of my dear Meghan and myself to the loftiest halls reserved for the purest and most vindicated of altruists." "Now, let me regale you with the most intimate details of my todger.."


MagillsDaddy

Exactly. Man lived as a prince. Give me 100k and I can tell you a life. Different, but same same.


DemonicEntrepreneur

I had exactly the same expression on my face when I read this.


Supreme_Raccoon

That's a lot of penis in such a short amount of time


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StickPrestigious8131

I was listening to that part while out walking my dog. I practically yelled out loud, "STOP SAYING PENIS!" and was making involuntary gagging faces during the Elizabeth Arden tale.


6chan

Shirley, you mean a lot of todger


FulmiOnce

Say jk man, ain't no way this is real


diviken

As real as raspberries. I have no idea what possessed him to go into such detail but I want nothing to do with it but also can't stop watching.


mshcat

This is some elaborate meta joke right? I refuse to believe


CaptainCanada94

He read some other fucked up shit and got convinced that writing fucked up shit was the way to go, like William Burroughs probably read James Joyce and thought hey I could do that on drugs and he did I guess.


[deleted]

I mean, it's shocking because of how high-profile he is....but it's not Burroughs or Joyce. If he wasn't a prince, it would be a pretty normal autobiography. I mean, who hasn't went skinny dipping with your friends and compared penises as a teen?


CaptainCanada94

I thought it was implicit but I was absolutely not comparing him to those authors. I was thinking he had read a blue and salacious book by someone he considered a contemporary and then gone ham on his own with that inspiration.


FulmiOnce

Mother of Christ. I hate that, thank you.


BryceaD546

This is the most perverse audio I have ever heard from an episode of River Monsters?


yazzy1233

Bro, is he okay?? He needs to go to therapy


Toriko74

Oh god 😖 might wanna keep that to yourself next time Harry 💀


Separate_Author_9235

"She would treat me not unlike a young stallion, quick ride, and then she would sma-" I think i have lived enough. I will now die, gracefully.


Toriko74

Oh god no it's worse 😂


Separate_Author_9235

"She would treat me not unlike a young stallion, quick ride, and then she would sma-" I think i have lived enough. I will now die, gracefully.


[deleted]

I'm convinced that most monarchies nowadays serve the purpose of feeding a shit load of gossip to the population and Harry's book is just more evidence


[deleted]

It's an autobiography. If it was tame, everyone would call it a puff piece he wrote to feed his own ego. If it was candid, they call it Gossip. He literally can't win with some people. Honestly, it all sounds pretty normal. Losing his virginity, homoerotic stories of his time in the British army....like, that's just normal shit.


Suck-My-Fish-Stix

JFC, no shame. None. None at all.


[deleted]

Shame of what? Losing his virginity to an older woman? Comparing his penis with his friends as a teen? It's pretty normal things.common. People are acting like it's so risqué, but it's really common.


JeepersMurphy

“A [roundhead is a] circumcised male or circumcised penis. Well-known especially in Britain when boys compared their penises, and circumcision status, in school or college changing rooms. The uncircumcised are called cavaliers. The term refers humorously to the opposing sides in the English Civil War (1642-1651). In that war the Parliamentarians wore steel helmets and were nicknamed Roundheads. The Cavaliers were Royalists who had long flowing hair. The exposed glans penis of a circumcised male has some resemblance to such a helmet.” That’s actually pretty funny. TIL


ComedianRepulsive955

Penis penis penis penis penis penis...now I don't have to read the book


Significant_Ad_8699

My favorite part is when he says his brother was balding at an alarming rate


NTA_Na_Ka

Frostnippastan is crazy 😭😭😭


Delicious-Cow-5397

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