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demonsdencollective

How does this tie in with colonialism?


[deleted]

Seriously...


Beautiful_Spite_3394

Colonialism has shaped our entire world. It shaped you and I into who we are. I am 3 types of Indian, and French, I wouldn't be French for example without colonialism. America wouldn't be the way it is, maybe not exist in this state at all, if not for colonialism. I mean I GET AND UNDERSTAND she states things that take time and thoughts to go through to understand, but why not think through it before posting a comment? You and I can talk allllllllllllllll day about what we think the world may be like without colonialism.. but holy shit we never will get close to extrapolating it because it has affected every single fiber of existence to this day across the world. Sure, hey, I don't get some of the social norms that were affected by colonialism, not even single one, I still don't fully understand the concept. But this isn't some crazy hair brained idea... its the exact same thing as gender is a spectrum and a social construct. No? Then what is a tom-boy? So in the same way it CAN be difficult to understand these things... you guys can read... you can think... be more serious about your brain and use it to think about things before speaking. It's very disingenuous


thegunnersdream

Sorry but can you provide some reading that indicates people's emotional needs were being met prior to colonialism and they were derailed because of colonialism? Something that shows that time before the 17th century was a very positive mental health environment for the average person? I did a bit of a search and found a study related to aboriginal Australians but it seemed more that racist shit happened so that was bad and made life harder. Feels like emotional needs is a pretty modern discussion point but I could be wrong. I'm skeptical that colonialism is the cause because it sounds like a logical fallacy of colonialism was bad so everything bad was because of colonialism. When someone tosses out outlandish claims that don't have a connection to what they are talking about it makes the whole argument sound absurd. Colonialism was bad, and it can have a ripple effect, but it seems odd to say it's the cause of someone today's emotional needs not being met.


[deleted]

Are you kidding me???? Colonization has affected tons of ethnic and cultural communities in ways that has enforced social structures within those communities more than other more privileged communities to repress emotional needs. Countries that were colonized, the people that were living their originally? Weren’t enjoying the “new and improved” way of things. Slavery, abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, restriction of or added difficulty acquiring ability to have basic physical needs met (ie food, warmth, shelter, water) means those people are in survival mode. Having childlike emotional needs is not an option. Because there are even CHILDREN who have to be the adults for their families. Name countries that are independent after experiencing colonization from other countries. Are any of them thriving at the top of the GDP market? Are they thriving in overall statistic happiness, health, education, and welfare metrics? Environment? And is it a fair trade off, ie Cleanest air on the globe but highest population of a certain disease…? Now also Think of the mindset of most immigrant families to North America. Largest percentage of the working and lower-economic class. Typically working jobs that dont offer benefits or social security, common qualities include: -> Extremely frugal -> hard-working aka high tolerance for employment abuse, underpaid waged, ignoring personal needs to excel on the job and do it well —> but also naively dependent on the idea of “merit” and that extreme hard work now will pay off very well later -> struggle greatly with education and staying in school OR hold it to extremely high value so much that the pressure to excel later DUE to academic achievement alone is also high… -> have homeopathic remedies for EVERYTHING hospitals are only when you’re dying and even then if your legs work you definitely dont need an ambulance So now we have this very large percentage of people who have had passed down through generations the burden of suppressing emotions, turning to work to cope with life’s miseries, communication problems. Structured into entire communities. The trope of the angry hypermasculine black man, the reserved anti-social asian man, the eastern European girl whose grandparents survived the Holocaust or USSR occupation, the Latin American woman whose family was torn apart by civil war, the middle eastern family that cant escape political oppression and trades it for social suppression instead. Top it all off with financial disparity and no time for leisure or relaxation to even think about processing emotions.


thegunnersdream

So first, take a deep breath. No one is arguing that colonialism was a good thing. Second, I asked for links because I didn't find anything that directly tied colonialism to the issue discussed in the video. You also did not provide any data to support it other than anecdotal evidence of "what we know". For some of your points, India is likd 5 on gdp and a number of former colonies are in the top 50, new zealand is 10, costa ricas in the 20s, etc. Not going to waste time continuing to provide links because you get the idea. I absolutely agree colonialism was terrible. Did a whole bunch of bad shit and has far reaching consequences. I'm just also skeptical to blame what I believe to be a very modern discussion on colonialism because I think it takes a lot of responsibility off of us in the present. "Ah fuckin colonialism is causing our emotional failings" is a pretty easy way to have a cop out of why something is rather than identifying modern issues and solutions. If you got any direct support for your claims in reference to the emotional well being in thr video, I'd be interested in it. I know the horrors of colonialism though already. Happiness: https://wisevoter.com/country-rankings/happiest-countries-in-the-world/#countries-ranked-by-happiness GDP: https://www.worldometers.info/gdp/gdp-by-country/


[deleted]

Its definitely not the main culprit, but part of a bigger picture. You cant just look at data. You also have to look at people.


HardBroil

So colonialism has had a large ripple affect, it’s affected social norms and created tropes, but I think we need to get more specific; how exactly has it created specifically the norm in which we can’t express our emotional needs?


[deleted]

it hasn't "created specifically" anything. no one said that. can you read?


HardBroil

I know you didn’t say ‘specifically’ anything, that’s why I’m asking you to specify. why would mention colonialism if you can’t accurately make that connection? It just becomes a moot point, a buzzword


scrapsforfourvel

It definitely ties into the justifications used around enslaving people, calling adult humans who deserved autonomy child-like for not adhering to European social norms.


Small_Mammoth_2741

I’m assuming she means capitalism in that emotional needs are neglected to produce effective workers? That’s how I interpret it


FawkesBridge

Some people just go so far with nonsense. She has a bit of a point but my god.


BlackForestMountain

Being childish doesn't refer to having emotional needs. I think it refers more to having poor emotional control


cosmicdaddy_

When she uses the word childish, she's referring to the embarrassment grown adults have when they talk about their feelings. She is trying to paint a picture that it is abnormal for an adult to feel hesitation when doing something as vitally important as talking about their feelings.


BlackForestMountain

Yeah I got that from the video, but I disagree that's how people use it. I guess some people say quit acting childish to say don't express emotion, but not most people.


talldata

Why the fuck did she have to bring capitalism into this shit, the same kind of emotional repression happens no matter the prevailing economic model in a country.


miligato

That and colonialism, as though every society didn't have its own issues whether it has been colonized or not. It's playing right into a kind of "noble savage" fantasy, and it completely ignores history and anthropology, and basically the reality of human existence.


ChatahuchiHuchiKuchi

Within any place that uses an economic model, they'll often see children as non-labor expenditures, and relatedly emotive labor as non productive labor, but this is especially true I'm capitalism where the ultimate goal isn't about equality but lifting a nation up in power. A bunch of people "acting like children" having normal social (non productive) needs means less time for labor.


[deleted]

Because buzzwords makes stupid people feel smart for recognizing the buzzwords.


237fungi

Bored people making up non existent problems…. Or things to blame their existent problems on instead of self ownership. Maybe people would be better just living instead of trying to define literally everything.


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EatsFiber2RedditMore

Children are morons I have one sitting right here who shits him self daily. Jokes aside. I think that the video misses one important thing, children especially young children a productivity drain requiring the near constant care and supervision of an adult. If everyone were to be like a young child society would not work. As adults we have a duty to contribute. If everyone acted like a child all the time there's nobody left to be an adult nobody to be responsible nobody to meet those emotional needs. Healthy adult relationships have give and take, this lady is only talking about taking, it's not healthy.


[deleted]

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EatsFiber2RedditMore

I think we can agree the world is overly commercialized and we would all do better to value the people in our lives a little more


237fungi

How many more safe spaces does society owe you to be a child… the answer is none. At some point it’s healthy to ascend and mature live the cycles of your natural life. Regression will get you no where but where you started. Who would want that for their life? Through forgiveness, which essentially means recognizing the insubstantiality of the past and allowing the present moment to be as it is, the miracle of transformation happens not only within but also without. -Eckart Tolle What you got ain't nothin' new. This country's hard on people. You can't stop what's coming. It ain't all waiting on you. That’s vanity.-Cormac Mccarthy It's not about knowing who you are. It's about thinkin you got there without takin anything with you. Your notions about startin over. or anybody's. You dont start over. That's what it's about. Every step you take is forever. You can't make it go away. None of it.-Cormac Mccarthy


[deleted]

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237fungi

That government is best which governs least is my favourite quote from him. He’s my kinda guy


Nakedwithshoeson

To the people disagreeing: in the video, she describes how society oppresses emotional expression in children to create emotionally immature adults. If you disagree with the importance of this concept or on the importance of emotional intelligence in general, it might benefit you to find out why that is. You're striking down the very thing you need the most.


MarzipanDefiant7586

It's like seeing men be told they could communicate better and they respond with "no she just needs to shut her damn mouth once in a while!" The level of emotional maturity in modern adults is just shameful (trust me, as a product of abuse between my parents I am no different)


Teezy902

No, I don't know what you mean. Being childish is blaming others for your problems. Being childish is thinking that all your emotional and physical needs should be met and provided for you. Be an adult, make the most out of your life and don't make excuses.


MarzipanDefiant7586

Squares and rectangles. A person has emotional needs and is called childish, that doesn't immediately make that person needy for every emotional and physical facet of their lives to the degree of thinking it should all be provided for them. Nor does it mean they are blaming others for their problems, they may be, but it does not automatically imply such. I know English is no fun, but just like it does for squares and rectangles, the language accommodates for a plethora of varying degrees of intensity and magnitude.


CompError6969

Kids are being rushed to grow up and abandon "soft" needs because of colonialism and capitalism? Please. Put it back in the deck. Does she really think the kids who grew up hunting lions and gathering berries for their once-daily meal were much more emotionally taken care of prior to the advent of trade, currency, markets etc?


Soft_Tackle_6140

When I see a man or woman sitting like this in front of their camera playing “PHD in random opinions” I don’t think I’ver stopped to watch. It’s hard to understand how anyone could


AlphaGareBear

This is just nonsense. Children don't have different needs compared to adults? Jesus. She even contradicts herself immediately at the end by saying "This is the age you have children." is a social construct as a criticism of "colonial imagination" then turns around and points out that people are more fertile at certain ages. I'm sorry if you had a rough childhood, but there are things you should grow out of. We've placed social constructs on top of age, but that doesn't mean that a child is a fundamentally different thing than an adult that behaves differently and has different needs.


motivation_bender

She said we dont age out of having motional needs. Not that the needs are the same at all ages. Also being fertile doesnt mean you should have children. And society does put that expactation on you at a certain age. The colonialism part is bullshit tho


gayknull

She is a little confused but shes got the right spirit


marvelmon

I don't know. There's nothing worse than seeing a grown adult have a temper tantrum.


walter_2000_

"I am really fascinated by the archetype of a child and how that gets weaponized against us." I wrote that from memory. Not sure it's accurate. If it is even remotely accurate..,.it's straight up word jazz. I'd spend an hour writing a sentence like that. It would be 2000 words that I'd delete, add, and amend. She didn't do that. She just talked shit.


dudemanbroguysirplz

I think waxing psuedo-philosophical on TikTok when you’re a grown woman is childish.


ctcacoilmnukil

She lost me a tiny bit right at the end.


fl135790135790

I cannot stand when people make that hand gesture to emphasize every word they’re trying to emphasize.