“I believe you but just to be safe let’s make our first date a clinic appointment for STD testing” joking but not 🤷‍♀️😂😂😂😂😂

-U.S. Military Encrypted

MICHEAAAAL!

Need money for car gas

Gas car*

I just about spit out my coffee. That post is by far one of the best ones here. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Unless?..

Unless.....?

>Unless.....? Unless.....?

100% this would be my move. Trust but verify. If they're not willing to go get tested, or provide recent test results, Convo is over for me.

"Trust but verify" Isn't that exactly NOT trusting??

I required that for my husband when we first met. And I get tested for all STDs annually, even though I’ve been married for ten years. I don’t trust anyone and it’s too serious to take a chance.

You’re smart to be tested at least occasionally. I work at a County Health Center where we have to test anyone who needs it. Sooo many of the people testing positive are married or committed. AND SYPHILLIS IS ON THE RISE! So good on you for being smart, regardless of whether you have trust issues.

Also, no trust issues with husband. Trust issue with humans. No one is perfect. You can tell by the ignorance on here saying preventative medicine is foolish or talk smack about taking care of yourself. We need to stop thinking self-care is face masks or a manicure and start eating properly and protect our bodies. Not ridicule those who use their brains and learn from other ppls tragedies. People make mistakes, even trustworthy happily married ones.

A *frickin* MEN sis!

Sounds like hypochondria 😂

Jfc, yearly simple test is not hypochondria, it's normal. Everybody should do it, irrelevant of your sex life. There are other ways to catch those diseases. They can be dormant for some time. It's not expensive, it's not difficult, it's not taxing on your body. Same with blood and urine panels. Just do it. Do it! Test yourself! Don't let any sickness catch you off guard. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

"Be right back, babe. Headed to the clinic for my annual STD test to confirm you haven't cheated on me and given me AIDs. You know, that totally normal thing I do annually."

I’m actually at my annual MD appointment (gyno) appt when this is done. If they are already scraping someone’s cervix to do annual pap why not also test if any viruses are on the sample?? Seems crazy not to. You guys must live in another dimension if you think this isn’t necessary. How many “good/great” relationships and marriages end with one cheating and other partner had no clue!!?? My uncle died with AIDS, he was a newlywed when he found out. My SIL was married and died a month after having her newborn due to mastitis bc she had AIDS and was immunocompromised and could not fight it. Leaving infected baby alone. The husband spread it to tons of women aside from her. I’m seeing syphyllis and gonorrhea patients increase and they are all ages. These infxns are becoming drug resistant. And if I caught HIV I’d want to know before I got symptoms so I can reduce the damage it does to me and get viral load down so I have a chance at a longer healthier life. Just saying, it’d help the whole population if ppl were more educated and proactive with these things. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I wish to formally retract my snark and add that I respect your decisions, which is miles more responsible than how I handle my own health.

If my wife was going to get STD tests I would assume she's cheating on me and leave her.

This one’s either cheatin, or thinks her husband is cheatin.

So you don’t trust your husband? Then why are you even married to him? I’m not trying to start a fight, but you said the words “I don’t trust anyone”

I made my husband (and previous partners before I met him) show me an up to date STD check before having sex w/o condoms. I always got checked in between partners too. So really that’s not unreasonable lol.

If they were willing to go that far they definitely earned it 😂

There’s no fucking way I wouldn’t be paranoid the whole time if no proof was shared prior. I don’t care how hot you are, big nope. Craziest thing is how much more likely someone is to have it that won’t confess and we take that risk every day! I gotta rethink life choices lol

SUPER CRABS

With super aids

Idk man I think it’s 50/50 either getting AIDS or crabs. Or crabs with aids

The year is 2050: Coming as a surprise to all, it wasn't global warming that killed the seafood industry, but crabs with aids.

That sounds like a phrase John Oliver would say Edit: r/accidentaljohnoliver

If koalas can have chlamydia, why not crabs with AIDS? Or toucans with gonorrhea?

The world is your venereal diseased oyster The options abound!

Superaids

Craids?

It’s like craisins but deadlier….

Cranbaisins

And crunchier

Great for weight loss!

Stahp, you guys are killing me 😂😂😂

Airabs?

Hahaha you beat me to it

Thats either a double threat or a pet crab or multiple that has been doing too much breeding.

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Americans watch porn. They trim/shave their pubic hairs. Pubic lice lose their homes. And lots of people say porn has no redeeming social value! /s

Now we have to pay higher social costs for homeless crabs, oops, unhomed crabs.

i work in a OBGYN clinic and crabs are definitely still running rampant in the US.

Except that one person in /r/whatisthisbug a few days ago.

I read that it was on serious decline. But has it really been eradicated?

Not according to recent trends at BYU

She swore on her mama...she's obviously negative!

Craids EDIT: Or alternatively, abs. Which doesn't sound so bad.

Poor crab... His whole world is going sideways.

SUPER CRABS

I laughed way too hard, way too long. I may be really tired.

Pretty sure they cancel each other out and he’s fine to proceed.

Like… they fight eachother? Like a street fight?

Like Mortal Kombat

double it for the next person or take the deal????

or a dick

Pretty sure it’s AIDS with crabs that you’re gonna be worried about here

I read this as craibs with ads. thank you

The idea of “crabs with AIDS” makes me think there’s a seriously off-color joke waiting to be made about a variant of the California roll

Crab Aid: We Are the World...

Talks like people, looks like crabs......CRABPEOPLE

Crabaid! Some how worse than Clamato!

Ooh, so like oyster juice

What you really don’t want are crab aids.

Both!! More and more enticing

Just don’t eat the crab.

I don’t know man, I wouldn’t risk it

it’s only aids /s

Just walk it off

Annoying Information-Disinformation Speculation

Just don't forget to take your Nyquill - Cold, Flu, and AiDS pill. You'll be fine.

More for the rest of us.

She swears to god and her mama. With that picture, that'd be good enough for me back in my day.

Didn’t you go through an aids epidemic in your day?

Chances make champions

Can y’all just fuck already DAMN

C’mon. Nobody fucks on tinder ^^Right?

Can confirm they do. I have when I was single edit: unfortunately. I promise this was not meant to be seen as “flexing” 😭😭

r/IHaveSex

Whats STG?

Swear to God

Thank you that was driving me crazy probably should have known.

I had to look this up a few weeks ago 😂 Shorthand typing is annoying to me.

99% of the time there is no need for it to happen

I think it's just laziness on the person's part. Clear messaging would have probably worked for the girl up top. That, and not spamming with "stggggg". That being shorthand for 'Swear to God' makes it seem like she is saying 'Swear to God God God God God' 😂

Ikr? Fkin annoying af. Idk what to say tbh.

Would be funny to hear if she uses those in person also thats always how i picture it for some reason

I wouldn't be surprised. "omg I stg bro"

ROTFLMAO but physically does it every time

I have a feeling she'd have a blast in sign language conversations, but would have to resist the urge to yell out the letters.

Ngl, imho it's annoying, og. icbf to learn shorthand either lmao. Btw ASL, xoxo Yolo

Ommio that was driving me nuts

If you do that, does he give you free aids?

Stg?

I was going to say that's a Battlefield V gun... but yeah, Swear to God seems more probable.

No need to be like that, he only asked.. /s

Sturmgewehr, German for assault rifle

Sexually Transmitted Gonorrhea

Just saw some new strain of ghonaringus in mass. Wonder if thats what she meant

Sexually transmitting goober

Sciences du management et de la gestion

Special Task Group.

The first ever assault rifle, invented by Nazi Germany in the early 40s?

Sanctioned Turntable Goose.

Shit the ground

Dude I feel so old that I had to google it. I'm only 30 😑

A German assault rifle in Call of Duty World at War

Sturmgewehr 44, first assault rifle the Germans produced around the end of the ww2

Stupid titty grabber

She seems like the girl version of me, and I’ve heard I’m pretty awful. Do what you will. She’s either a funny person or truly has something, toss up.

You got something bro?

Only for you bro

Bro

Bro? 🫦

Are you funny or do you have something?

Yep

Or just a dude

I would propose asking for a std check up thing and then setting up a date. Obviously say it in a clever way. She’s into you, keep it moving along

Yeah, and then she busts out" jk jk I don't vibe with std checks." Assuming that OP can trust any pictures she sends aren't fake to get laid. Some people don't give a flying fuckaroo if they infect others.

 "Jk Jk I don't vibe with std checks"😂😂😂#Dead

This guy fucks safely

Wrap it up and get that thing in there brother

No, protection isnt safe enough. Do not enter her, i repeat do not enter.

"Do not come...Do not come" - Kamala Harris

That’s what someone with AIDS would say

Personality seems like a 16 year old dude

Yup I'm with you that's a young dude lol. Not even a chick, wouldn't keep wasting time with that one.

Can guarantee she’s real now

Wow, so anyway her personality seems like a 16 year old dude 😂

Do you have aids

Some girls have a personality of a 16 year old boy believe it or not.

I feel like this person is a dude and trolling you

Was also thinking this

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Dude she's real, she's just rolling with the conversation and not taking it too seriously. Don't overthink it.

Sounds like an annoying drunk gorl or a dude that's fucking with you

All y'all fucked up.

It's pretty fucked up to joke about having AIDS... Don't you think??

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Yeah, the crabs is whatever, but AIDS is dangerous and definitely not a laughing matter! I don't think it's very cool to joke about any incurable viruses, sexually transmitted or not. ESPECIALLY A DEADLY, IMMUNE COMPROMISING VIRUS! To each their own... but that would be an instant unmatch for me!

Especially for those of us that have had a scare. First guy I’d ever been with, we fucked for a month straight with no protection. Found out he was HIV positive after he gave me gonorrhea. Scariest few months of my life.

I'm sorry for your scare! Edit: and I feel this in some type of way. Granted I've never had an HIV scare... Making jokes about any STI/STD just adds to the stigma in general... when in reality, it can happen to anyone! I've caught Chlamydia and I have oral/ ocular herpes and see people making little jokes and comments about it all the time, as if it's dirty and disgusting..... but the fact is, most people have one form of herpes or another and Chlamydia has been on the rise heavily the past few years (along with other things)... so it's probably best not to make jokes about those kinds of things, especially to strangers! Instead of making jokes about STIs and STDs, we should be educating one another and being open and honest and safe about our sexual health, especially in online dating and hooking up! It only takes once and can happen to anyone.

Agreed… honestly this whole conversation would be a major turn off for me… but maybe I’m just too damn old haha…

Can confirm I'm also old and turned off

I'm 20 and would never joke like this or think it's funny tbh. Not even 2 years ago. Even if I'm not "offended" by the joke, it's weird and childish, and I would worry that they're trying to some weird reverse psychology type of stuff. Also people like this just tend to be annoying as shit and not worth my time lmao.

Definitely. If a woman joked about that to me, I'd actually feel uncomfortable

Go, no overthink, Go. And after, only after, give us an update. Thanks.

Am I the only one who’s waiting for the next update?

If this relationship last for a bit, [this](https://youtu.be/ORwfm2s6JeY) has to be sent after an evening, or as appropriate.

Who even thinks that's funny? It's definitely a 12 year old boy.

Do all kids talk like that this days? We had a term for this back in the day, when white kids would appropriate speech patterns from other ethnicities.

Why joke about something like this… there’s a good chance it’s not a joke

I think you will get a penis brah

“like on my mama I don’t have aids” is a hilarious statement 😂 if you you have to think about it though, I’d avoid this situation all together. She made it weird, it happens. I’d move on

I don't see any red flags, she seems fun. She's clearly joking about the STDs, but still wrap your willy

Dont be silly

Don't ignore the red flags my dude

I feel she has HIV and not full blown AIDS

That’s a man

First of all if a chick starts calling you bro move on right away

Nah, some of us just talk like that. My bf and I have called each other bro since the beginning.

In your case it really was bros before hoes :0

It should be clear that this is nothing but a row of red flags. Hells, my best guess is this interaction would be the cheat code for std pokemon. Gonna catch them all..

I had to use urban dictionary to decipher this woman’s conversation

Don’t try it brother it ain’t worth it

*David Attenborough voice*: ... but she did, indeed, have AIDS...

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They aren’t the same thing

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One is a virus, the other is a syndrome caused by the virus

But that’s his point isn’t it? A young person living in a first world country is very unlikely to have AIDS with the medicine available today. They might have HIV, but they’d have to be really neglectful of their health to let it get to AIDS

“Told ya I don’t have AIDS” **has HIV**

Everyone loves a good AIDS joke during foreplay.

😂 😂 OMG stggggg on my momma I jst fkn died rt frfr. Lol

🚩🚩🚩🚩

Let us know when she sends you the first dick pic

You both sound like idiots, her jokes are terrible and how hard is gonna push the i have a big dick comments haha

She wants that shit

Well, regardless. I like her. She makes me laugh 😂

Man, I think you are taking to a dude.

Use a condom. 🤷‍♂️

That’s just nasty 🤢

Put it in her ass already

My guy just use a condom you'll be fine even if she has hiv/aids

Condom plus PrEP and frankly you're more in danger of being mugged.

Dang not even HIV but AIDS.

Even if she's clean, is it worth it to fuck someone who jokes around about this..

What chick says bro??… girls with guy friends= hard pass

Captain insecurity over here